Disrespectfully - Emo’s Not Dead, But We Are | Episode 9

How are you feeling?

Not well, bitch. How are you feeling?

Not well. I'm sad as fuck.

Because the cruise is over or because of the hospitalization?

Both.

Okay.

Fimo's not dead. Hmm. But we are.

Fimo's not dead, but we are. Welcome to, Disrespectfully with Katie Maloney and Dana Kathan. Unapologetically, we're here to do what we want to do.

Spilling the tea.

Babe, you're gonna see the power of women like Disrespectfully. You know when people are like... And actually, someone said this to us on the cruise. They were like, you guys look like sisters. And we were like...

I thought they were joking.

No, I was like, well, and I look nothing like my sister, but it's like how, when owners of pets start to look like their pets, you and I, obviously, are spending so much time together, we're becoming the same person. Because we were in the same hospital ER, 24 hours apart.

Yeah, Dana and I both visited the emergency room this weekend, believe it or not.

We sure did.

On two separate occasions.

Who wants to go first? Would you like to share? first? We'll have some throat coat.

Okay, I'll share. I'll share. So, well, basically, last week, while we were on the cruise, I was having like some abdominal pains. And I thought it was just because, you know, I'm just a girl.

You're just a girl.

I'm just a girl. And that happens. Sometimes we have cute stomach pains. And so I just kind of like dealt with it. And it kind of like went away a little bit.

You were a trooper about it. And it was, yeah, it was an ebb and a flow. Like there was one night, it was really bad and then you could like kind of get through it.

Yeah. And like, listen, we deal with period cramps. And so like. this just kind of felt like nothing compared to that. But then on Friday, when we docked and we went to that spa and I was having like those really bad body aches and then it turned into like full on flu symptoms.

Tight, tight, tight, tight, tight, tight, tight, tight, tight, tight, tight, tight, tight. Sick.

Because, like, in case I need to do imaging, I'm like, okay, I get it. They give me a list and I was like, oh, Providence, that's where Dana went last night. As if it was like a restaurant, as if I was able to pick out a recommendation for a restaurant. So I go there, dealt with security, they had like a metal detector, because this is LA.

Oh, if I was giving them ratings, they get four stars because of the security guard, when I thought I was having anaphylactic shock. And they were like, well, we still need to see your purse, please walk through the thing and come back. And I'm like, can we do this in a minute so I can talk to someone?

They searched me. But I liked it. They had a good, like, system set up. You know, you go to one window. What's out there, you see?

What's in there?

Yeah, but just like the whole system. So then, you know, I go in one room, answer all the questions, then I go another, pee in a cup. But then I was like, do I leave in the bathroom? Like, no. I'm like, so I keep it on my person.

So you were just holding your urine?

Well, I had to wait, wait for the blood person to come.

Did they make you hold your own blood, too?

Yes.

Did you ask them to make me a necklace, like, a la MGK?

They made me draw my own blood, too.

I did that a few weekends ago, too, but just for a different reason. No, I'm kidding.

It didn't happen. I don't want to know. I drew my blood, peed in my cup, and then I went and sat in the waiting room for, like, an hour until they called me back again. And then, like, you, don't know what's happening, and they're like, all right, come with me. We're going to put you in room 28..

Yeah, they print, they're really efficient. with the bracelet. They give you the right on.

They give you the bracelet right away when you walk in. And so then I lay down, and they come in, and they tell me my results. And they're like, okay, so basically, you have a really bad bladder infection. I was like, hold on. I'm going to object to that, because I'm a frequent flyer of Air UTI.

You're like, I'm comfortable using legal jargon and everyday words. I object. And also, to be fair, same. You and I are definitely the UTI queens. I've had chronic issues with UTIs, and I think most of our audience is female, and so I'm sure a lot of women out there relate to this as well.

No, I can predict it. Like, I'll dream about it the night before.

Like, there's a 30% chance that I'm going to get a UTI.

Yep. So, I was just like, that's so weird. They're like, well, all, this guy was like, all UTIs are different. I was like, not mine, sir. This guy?

You're like, you, don't gotta tell me.

I was like, I was on a cruise, so I just figured like, I just like, was exposed to, like every disease possible.

Tuberculosis.

I mean, I already walked in after my Google search, assuming I was dying. I'm like, the pain, the sweating, the chills, I'm like, it's the plague. I know.

Yeah. You typed your symptoms and they're like, Victorian child about to die.

Just like fetal position shaking. That was me. So I was like, all right, this seems manageable, I guess, because it's just like. most of my pain was in my right flank.

The flank.

Yeah. So they hooked me up to an IV with some meds and some antibiotics and some fluids. And I laid there and watched the Food Network channel until about 1 a.m. And then they sent me on my way. And now I have some serious pain meds and antibiotics for two weeks.

I also woke up, when we were texting last night, when you told me this information, woke up in a cold sweat.

Yeah.

Real, real fun stuff.

The guy was like, I forgot what he said. He said something to me. I'm like, well, I'm a woman, meaning something about pain management or something. And he's like, oh.

And I was like, oh, yeah, we're out here getting IUDs and certainness with not even lidocaine. Like, we're just told to suck it up.

Basically, I was trying to explain to him. I have a high pain tolerance. So, like, I, just, so, a lot of things go unchecked or unnoticed half the time. Like, it's not unheard of that, I have 800 things going on at one time. And I don't like, especially when you're on your period, I mean, you can have like tummy problems, cramps, vomiting, all these things happening at once.

We're just girls. I mean, I also, again, have all those symptoms when I'm dating in my normal life, the other three weeks of the month, I would say. You and I talk about this all the time. We spend a week out of every month feeling that way, feeling normal. And then you get the pre, the post, the during.

Yeah, we get one week a month just of bliss. And then the rest of it's shit.

We're just girls. And someone's usually ruining our life during that week. So, you know. Yeah. So I was hospitalized in 2020 for a kidney infection.

Sick. I was like, perfect. Yeah, now I can't drink for two weeks.

I feel like I don't want to.

Well, I was like, you know, I do need to dry out, but I do have Percocet. Hey.

Hey. Do you know what's such a bummer about that? I'm kidding. I can't. I like, I'm jealous, because if you need it for pain, I throw up.

I just can't. Well, I have the stuff that makes you not nauseous.

Well, we had an extraordinary week, but we both had a really rough go at it. coming back to land. We're on the plane and we were in mint, treated ourselves. We had the lay flats. Couldn't even enjoy it.

I'm face down.

Unconscious to the point that I was like, do we need to check her breathing? Where's the defibrillator?

My face was in the pillow.

And those are gifted to you by the plane. So it's, if you weren't going to get influenza or typhoid before, you sure were on that flight. So I'm sitting there and I'm like, I'm so hot right now. And not like, oh, Hansel, he's so hot right now. Like temperature wise.

An EpiPen, perhaps?

But luckily the flight attendant had, she had like a severe peanut allergy. So she had prescription level Benadryl or whatever it is. So she gave it to me and I'm like, sure, I'll take your random prescription. You seem trustworthy. She seemed really cool.

Miming.

Lisa was like, where's the bathroom? And I was like, flight attendant. Anyway. So I just decided I was like texting with Lisa and Raleigh because I didn't want my sister to know. Cause she's, and she was like all worried and freaked out.

I'm sure they see it all there.

So, Oh, Oh, I'm sure they did. But I was just like, I'm just a girl. So anyway, got checked in, showed them the photos of the plane and, like, told them what's going on. They're like, yeah, you're definitely having an allergic reaction. So I luckily did not have to stay for very long because they just gave me steroids and were like, you need to go to a specialist.

How long were you there for?

An hour. It was much quicker than your situation.

I was there for like five hours.

I hate that for you. Anyway, let's talk about much more fun things.

Let's talk about Emo's, Not Dead Cruise. I've had this shirt for a long time. I just wanted to wear something that was on theme.

Obsessed with it.

I had such a good time, all things aside. We had no idea what to expect, obviously, because for one, we'd never been on a cruise. So like, didn't even know what to expect from like arriving at the cruise ship, boarding. We were like, how do you cruise? How to cruise?

WebMD had no answers on that.

What do you wear? What if there's inclement weather? Or like, what do the rooms look like? None of that. So we were just like blind in the blind, but like truly was so much fun.

It was the most fun I've had in a long time. And overall, the experience was amazing. It's like, there's so many different things to cover about it, but I will say committing to five days of emo music on a boat is very different than us just going like emo night, which is one night, which our bodies already feel wrecked over. I have the most insane bruises all over my legs and possibly shin splints from like trying to jump around and keep the energy going. So that was harder than I thought.

I don't have a problem committing to the music for five days. It's just the bed situation.

Oh, I'm talking. Yeah, I'm talking about the physically.

So, yeah, let's talk about the physicals is hard, because I mean, it's the same thing as like a festival, because it's like, you know, you want to do as much as possible and see as much as possible. I like that. it is sort of like, you know, it's the same bands and they all play pretty much every day. So if you don't see a band their first time, you can see them again another time. And they almost play the same set.

They were twin slabs of a suggestion of a feather.

They were lawn cushions.

The called up whatever mattress slumlord they got this from. They're like, hey, can we get the joints with the extra springs, extra springs, as little padding as possible.

When I lay on my side, it hurt. When I lay on my stomach, it hurt. There was no position where it felt all right. But I mean, I will say like the bathroom was great. We had a little balcony.

Also nourishment. Because we were wondering the food and drink situation.

We also didn't go to any of their actual restaurants, because I wasn't sure if you had to make reservations or not. We also didn't want to be on any schedule. So we were just going to their buffet, essentially.

We're partially to blame, but let's talk about it. What do you think of the food, Katie?

I like the hot dogs.

Great glizzies.

The french fries were good. The soft serve was good.

Yeah, they did have a soft serve, which was amazing.

Everything else was just kind of bland. I don't want to like, no offense.

It was giving like old country buffet. I don't know if anyone's ever been to one of those, but it was just like, that's what mass quantities of food are like. So I'm not totally surprised, but I was hopeful because we heard mixed reviews. Like. some people were like, cruise food's delicious.

But again, were they talking about the restaurants that you go to? Because they had like a Mexican restaurant, they had a sushi restaurant, they had a steak restaurant. They had different restaurants that we just blew right past.

Completely blew past. So, besides the food that was made, the ship was huge, which was crazy. I didn't understand how big it was going to be.

It had a casino that we didn't really participate in.

We played like one slot and lost and we're like, okay, we're done here.

But we knew where all the bars were.

Which contributed to not only the fun, but the pain that we experienced. later on, I would say.

And we made friends with one of the bartenders. He took good care of us.

He'd always like come find us in the crowd, because you gave him your key card. that was like, your credit card, was hooked up to it, and he'd be like, this one's on me. And I was like, you. just want us to have a good time.

And Dana finally fulfilled her greatest prophecy.

My lifelong dream of crowd surfing came true. Shout out to Michelle, if she ever hears us. We met some also amazing, wonderful people on this cruise. Like everyone was so nice.

Everyone was so cool. That's, I mean, I, I was like, you know, I, I never like desired to go on a cruise. I was like, I don't know if that's for me. I don't know if that's like my scene. But this cruise appealed to me for multiple reasons, emo music, love all the bands.

And when you go to emo night, that's how they are. So it's not surprising. Right? Like they were wonderful. But yeah, you tell Michelle that you want to get something done and she is just a mover and shaker.

It's, you know, occupational hazard of being a crowd surfer.

I wasn't mad, but the bruises, I mean, I bruise easily, but the bruises on my legs are definitely for that, because it's also like there were a couple of times when I almost got dropped. We saw a girl who also told us that she had just had her gallbladder removed 10 days prior.

Big concern. She had a black eye.

She had a black eye. And she was like, oh, I was crowd surfing. And I was like, didn't you just say you just had your gallbladder removed? And I was like, I don't know how like fundamental that is to the constitution of your body. But anyway, if she could do it, I could do it.

We trapped on that beach and it went on the main feed.

Yours looked amazing. We went for a little swim in the Bahamas and then we came out and I was like getting my Baywatch on with my plank body. And then I was like, you know what, SI reject, let's go. That is the, that's the mood for the day. And, Katie, you got the shots, but I'd like to say that I got yours as well.

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No, nobody, nobody, nobody asked me to go bang in a.

Possibly floor five, but we don't know.

I don't know. Nobody asked me to do that. No one says when the ship docks, I'm getting off with you. Nobody fell in love with me. I didn't have that moment.

You had multiple flirts.

Multiple.

Whatever the fuck is the.

Okay.

Him. and well, he does not.

Okay. Well, you know what? I was nervous about seeing him. I'll say that much. And then he actually, when he mentioned that, he's like, listen to this podcast.

Then let's talk about him.

I'm going to quiz you. But I was a little nervous about that one because I hadn't talked to him in like literal months. because I don't want to give too much context to this, because I don't want to give too much attention to it.

Okay. Well, I'm just saying...

There was a person that I knew was going to be there and I didn't even tell him I was going to be there. And then he noticed on my story that I was packing and he asked if I was going to be there. And I was like, damn it. We had talked for some time and then he, like, stopped talking to me for a really long time and then I came back around and then, you know, just, it just wasn't, wasn't right. I was a little hurt.

So I think you handle yourself well, because I don't like to be around anyone, even if I'm the one who ended it with someone, I don't like to be around anyone that I've ever dated in any way. Like I'm very like, you don't exist. So we were trapped in the open sea with an open wound. Well, it's like closed up, but it was a former open wound.

So like, yeah, but it's almost like he didn't want to acknowledge that there was a wound to begin with.

Why would he? It doesn't seem like he has those emotional exact capabilities.

Exactly.

So, EQ, you handle it like a champ. So, and you look super fucking hot, which is awful. I met someone which very much was not expecting that to happen. We met on the first night and he, we just like started chatting at a bar and he was like, well, I'm actually, you know, I came alone, and so I was just like looking to make friends. So I want to say hi.

Which is such a bold move, such a brave thing to do.

But I'm like now, you know, emo is so niche. If you don't have any friends that are into it, like I was when I was talking to Raleigh about it, I was like, I would never make you go on an emo cruise because you would be absolutely miserable. Like, if you don't like the bands, you're going to not have a good time. So I didn't really think anything of it. I mean, when you saw him, we all kind of looked at each other like, he's handsome.

Hell, yeah. So that's what we love to see.

We'll see about that. But I'm sure he's going to listen because I told him we were talking about this initiative.

That's what we want. Yeah, that's all we want.

So was not on my bingo card for the cruise. I mean, I was hoping for crowd surfing, but it also was like could happen, could not happen. We don't know. So overall, 10 out of 10 experience.

I mean, I've met like some of the guys that were like playing in the bands and stuff before, and they're like such great people. So to like be around them all again was so much fun and I was like, we could do this all the time.

Matt, who put it on, was so amazing for having us, and his wife is just like such a peach. I can't.

They're like two of the best people. Shout out to Matt. You fucking killed it.

You killed it. It was such a great event. And also all the bands like seeing yellow. I hadn't seen yellow cards since I was like 14 years old and like Devil Wears Prada, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. What was your favorite?

Devil Wears Prada was definitely one of my top favorites. I'd never seen them before.

I hadn't either. I don't think so.

Yeah. They were like really up there. They're just. they were really fucking incredible. I mean, I always love watching like Story of the Year and Censusville.

It also had a surprising amount of like activities. There's like a tattoo artist and all these different things. They did like a Tonight Show version, like Matt hosted it and had different people from different bands. And it was so goddamn funny. Glad we went.

Yeah. No, we made, like a lot of really great friends and friends we'll have for a long time. And Emo Cruise is just different because it's like it has the things going on. I'm interested in it. One of my other favorite moments from like one of the sets was when Buddy from Censusville, at the end of their set, started throwing the amps off the stage and then he went for the other one, and then the security came on and then they threatened to put him in cruise jail.

He almost went to the brig. Yeah. That's what it was called? Yeah. That's what cruise jail is called.

But then, like the next day or I don't know if it was earlier that day or the next day they let him come in like they, let him honk the horn and drive the ship. So I'm like, so. you went from the captain to like almost captive. That's like pretty.

Also to paint the picture, these amps were huge, huge, and he gets one, he throws it off and I was like, is this?

I thought it was a bit like he pushes it over and then he gets behind it and he crossfits it off the stage like those big tires.

Yeah. I'm just like dying. when it was happening. I thought it was part of the scheduled programming, like it was just, but it was. no, he's just a frisky biscuit.

The best part is Bob, the security guard, told me I should be in jail, and then he went, sat down and fell asleep.

Oh, that security guard, yes, he passed out after.

Oh my God. Speaking of the Rose to Whippecator, how he loved leaning into the Titanic. of it all. I mean, how could you not? We had like a full like 20 minutes on our balcony of like, my heart will go on.

We were living our best life. We love this bit when you're trying to fall, like people are like, hey, do you mind if I put on some white noise? It helps me fall asleep and you like, turn over and, like, put some psychotic song on. So me and Katie were doing that and she recorded me, and then I like, turned over and blasted. the heart will go on, and we were absolutely fucking cackling.

Well, you came back that last morning and you're like, look at what you're like. Oh, my God. The best thing to show you ever. So I was like, oh, my God. What is she going to show me?

I was like, oh, well, and then the last night, the last show, there was this security guard. He put it's like an actual rubber ducky. It was a soccer ball and it was on an amp. And I like ran. I mean, we're in the artist area, but our security was like trying to block it off.

What are you doing with all those?

I just love them. I like look at the Triceratops is near my computer right now and I just look at it.

You're such, not like a chachki gal. So like that's really surprising.

They were just particularly so cute. I don't know if it was reminding me of like the simpler days when we made a beaded geckos or whatever. Yeah, I do get attached to certain inanimate objects, like certain pens that I really love and whatever. So I don't know, but I just love them and they're so cute. And anyway, I think he was kind of trolling me, because then he goes, put your hand out.

You should have. Oh, OK.

One of my best friends back home, Randy, collects rubber ducks.

And so I'm going to give her the soccer ball on that last day, when I just decided to switch to red wine because I was like, red wine will make my body, which is a great idea. Right. But the thing is, when I, when I start drinking red wine, tequila at some point, like I, kind of have to stop. Like it gets to the point where I'm like, I can't drink any more tequila.

Oh, if someone, if someone cut us, we would bleed tequila sodas. But I was like, I never want another tequila soda.

But then I was drinking red wine and, like I literally physically wouldn't stop. We are sitting at this like bar, the bar where that one nighttime party was happening that I said I would go to. It started happening and I was like, I'm still here. But I was like, I was like far, far in the back. So I was like, OK, well, like I'm technically not here.

Well, I also switched wine out of necessity just because I could not have any more tequila, sodas and same thing. We were both quite hungover.

But you know what? Wine makes me do. It makes me kind of like really spicy. I don't know. I was like.

I look at a bottle of wine and like, let's go back to 1998.

So we had been hanging out with the guy, not the other guy. And we went up to that Haven area, you know, and I went up to like the top deck, and we're like taking pictures. There's a really beautiful sunset. The whole thing. He was like.

I was trying to be better about taking videos. I have a literally have a video of you saying that I was just like taking a video in the room, and that's it. You're just like, I'm the fucking sunset.

And then I walked away. They're probably like, huh?

Put it on my tombstone. The bottle of wine is in the corner, like with its cap being like, sorry, it's me, her.

I'm the fucking sunset. I'm. you want to go? I'm not. So I left.

It was great. Ten out of ten. So fun.

Music killed Kate, especially.

Yep. This is like super random. We should get into the basement and then WWDD. But really quickly, because so many people sent it to us and I just thought it was really funny. Someone got married wearing an Apple Vision Pro and no, so many people sent it to us and we posted it.

I was going to say like, oh, he's definitely like watching Brazzers.

Well, yeah, he was like. he had the photo. He's like and had his fingers up. I'm like, ma'am, why did you do that? You were saying you're not sure about the authenticity.

For her sake, I just wanted it to not be real.

A living, breathing nightmare for women kind.

I wanted this to not be real.

He puts on the monster eyes. He's like in sickness and in health to death.

It was hard.

Yeah, that was really hard for me to watch. Really hard for me to see.

OK, so who's in your basement? That guy?

No, I have a much better one in my basement this week. Who? I was just friendly ghosted. And I think we all know how I feel about younger men specifically. Like.

Not for me.

It's different. We talked about this. Like, if it's a date, that's fine. One date. Yeah, you don't owe anyone anything.

I don't really have anyone in my basement. I know.

I think your kidney infection should go in the basement.

Oh, yeah. My kidney can go in the basement. My bladder and my kidney, my organs, can all go in the fucking basement. You're failing me. I'm trying to take care of you.

Oh, sink water.

Sink water on the cruise.

I'm in my own basement for making this decision. This is so true. Okay, so we landed. We're in the Miami airport. We fly in and I see this girl filling her water bottle in the bathroom sink.

You didn't tell me, you filled it up a thousand times. How many?

Oh, I had six or seven cups of sink water.

It's a good thing you're on steroids. Do you want some of my antibiotics?

No, I'm like, no man is ever going to hurt me again. I've had cruise line sink water. You think you can hurt me? I drank out of a sink on a cruise, OK? That is disgusting.

Well, you counteracted it with the tequila, I think.

I did. But anyway, if anyone's out there and has any opinions, if you know, I didn't want, I almost googed, but I didn't because I didn't want to know. Like, I had already drank it. So it was like, you were pretty disgusted at me when I told you that information.

Yeah, I just can't imagine that there's much of a filtration system on that. No, no. Oh, how did it taste?

It tasted like desperate water, like, like, you know, like there's, like Fiji water and Dasani.

Dasani is worse than Dasani.

No, but it was like, desperate.

Why didn't you call the room service people and order?

I think it's before we got room service. I just didn't know. You did. the next morning. You got all those water bottles.

Yeah, I guess, I guess we should.

I guess I'm in my own basement, too, but.

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Melissa says, Loving everything, you are dishing out and look forward to hearing what you have to say every week. I've been on my own personal journey for a couple of years now, reprogramming 40 years of beliefs that don't serve me. And I've reached a stage of anger about everything everyone has ever done to me, from being picked on in school to friends' betrayal, relationships that tore me apart. It's spilling into everything. And the fact that things aren't the best in the world today, it's feeding it.

Yeah, I mean, I think everyone has different practices that best would suit them. Whether it's like physical practices like exercise or meditative things like yoga, whatever you can do to kind of channel that to like, get it out or out of you, or whether it's writing or whether it's creative or something. Rage room. I think channeling it somehow, I think, is the best way to do it.

Remember when Regina George picked up rugby?

Yeah. Lacrosse.

Oh, lacrosse, excuse me. Yeah, there's all kinds of options. But you just try and give yourself grace and do something to be proactive about it. And also if, like, you've never done therapy and it would be helpful for you. My therapist has helped me a lot.

Yeah, I mean, I think therapy is a given. But I also think physical something to channel. I don't know, because it's still going to be faster. It's like an energy that needs to go. Next one.

Did you a big favor also after we were just speaking on anger and letting it go. Fuck this guy, Allie, first of all. Yeah. It's also. anger is appropriate sometimes.

Well, a lot of people will do this thing where, like, I mean, she's looking, the sign is that he was checked out, but, like a lot of people will like wait till after a holiday or a trip or an anniversary, because they don't want to like ruin those like moments or those times or like they'll want to break up with somebody on a high. And that's kind of like a really messed up thing to do, but it's like in their minds, they think that's like letting someone down softly. And it's just, it's really not.

Yeah, I mean, like you said, you'll be in your head about that, but how to start moving on, go through the grieving process. That's definitely going to be part of it.

Start focusing on yourself.

Start focusing on yourself, take the lessons that you need to and give yourself time before you start dating again and like. don't just try to plug someone in.

Yeah, no, definitely. I would not say, you know, don't jump into something else. You don't want to transfer that. But, you know, I would not dwell or try to like ruminate on this at all.

You know, tears is a long time. So I would also say you start healing by just literally getting up every day. Also, it's unfortunate, but like time really does heal all wounds, so it'll just keep getting easier. So please try and remember that. When it sucks so bad and it really, really hurts, because those really just like can take you out, there will be a time that you're just going to wake up one day in a few months and be like, oh, I'm good.

It does. Every day gets better.

He's a real dick, Allie. I'm sorry about that.

Yeah, fuck him.

Justine says, Big fan. Love your pod. I am not certain if this is the kind of story in question is applicable, but I really thought you guys would get a kick out of it. Poop in the hands. One time, I was a few weeks into dating a guy.

Oh, my god, yeah, we'd love to read your stories.

Send us your disasters. Anything you think is interesting, please do. Okay, well, I would say, I don't want my hands you pooped in either. So, I think that that would be a hard no for me.

Yeah, if you're into scat, go for it, but not for me either. What is your kink language?

Well, I mean, here's the thing, and I'm also, I love that she used, she doesn't want to kink shame, because I love that everyone does different things. And also, you have to really love someone to let them just, you know, really dark stuff. I have, I would just say, that I speak several kink languages, and I'm fluent, but I don't want to give TMI. Like, I have several kinks, don't we all? Justine, like, I love the question, but I think that's where I'm going to have to leave it.

If you're not sharing, I'm not sharing.

I mean, I'm like, I'm trying to think of one that's more innocent. It's like, silly goose behavior.

What is your nope, besides poop stuff?

Okay, then, yeah, I would say, I share in Justine's. nope, that would be a nope. We have talked about this, how, like, there are certain, and this, to generalize, is more with men, that you can tell, watch, like, scary, kind of violent porn. Like, people who act on that, or, like, want, like, that, that's their kink, that would be a nope for me. And it's not saying there aren't times where I think it's, like, fun to be more rough or whatever, but, like, that needs to be a very consensual, mutual decision.

What do you mean, like, violent? Like, getting punched in the face?

Yeah, I'm like, that's not.

What about, like, slap? Where? Lightly, on your face.

I mean, yeah, with the right person, I would say I'd be down with that, but not someone like.

What if someone spits in your mouth?

Yeah. Okay, then, yeah. Could you have someone spit in your mouth? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'd spit in someone's mouth, too.

Okay, then, that's what we're giving away.

Okay, that's, okay, that's fair. So, we'll go with spitting in the mouth.

I don't know what my nope, what a nope would be. I think. anything that's, like, too corny, or, like, too, like, trope-y, I don't know.

Another nope of mine is people who try to fall asleep in the spooning position. That's a lot... Is that kinky? That's a lot less kinky.

No, people ask, like, too many questions.

I have a fucking sleeping disorder. Let's be realistic about this. I also have a king-size bed. Please go to your area when we are... I'm, like, goodnight, we're done with this, I can't do it.

So far, I guess I haven't really encountered anything. that was a big nope.

Same. Okay.

Would you ever let anyone pee on you?

Where? Like, in the shower? Yeah, sure, whatever.

Just in general. That's not a... Okay, then... You... Would you?

In the shower? Like, it's, like, people do that all the time for jellyfish stings.

No, this is because this is, like.

No, I know that it's a kink, but, like, if you were stung by a jellyfish, would you let someone pee on you? Probably. And it's, like, the cleanest thing that comes.

out of the human body. Yeah, because I need... Okay. Anyways, moving on. Fine.

Okay.

Emily says, how do you know it's time to get a divorce? I feel like I'm losing myself to put someone else before myself, and my husband is not doing the same. When the highs are high, it's amazing, but I'm starting to feel lost in lonely hell. I know that feeling. And, like, listen, I know, like,

Of the people in my life that have gotten divorces, I don't know any of them that regret it. So it is a big decision to make, but, like, if that continues to keep coming up for you, there's probably a reason. I actually just saw this TikTok trend recently, where this girl was like, if you're a married couple, please stitch this, or you're part of a married couple, and say what you mean when you say marriage is supposed to be hard. And a bunch of people have stitched it, and they basically were saying, like, of course, any relationship takes work and effort, but it's not hard if you like each other. Like, you have to like each other.

Yeah, because in order to keep your relationship solid and to have that bond go deeper with one another, you have to, like, that requires work on both ends. It's not just, like, something that just happens on its own. It's not just, like, a gift that's given. Love is not a noun. It's a verb.

Also, if you are feeling this way, and, like, it doesn't mean you just have to give up one day and come home and be like, I want a divorce. I'm not sure if you've actually had these conversations with your partner, but also that's important, I think, to be able to, like, say, hey, this is where I'm getting, so this is what I need to happen, or I'm not going to be able to do this.

I would be curious to know if you've, like, kind of told them, like, where your head's at, because sometimes, if they don't know, and if you've already kind of put it out there that you're not happy and you want to see more action from them and you want to see them get involved, you know, I think you've got to be vocal.

Pamela says, sex number. Is your sex number important? Specifically, is it anyone's business that you are dating? Why is it so important to some people?

Because they're immature.

This is a product of the patriarchy. It's so stupid. I mean, we've discussed this in terms of the way that for men, it's a positive thing. You know, you're looked at as a playboy and someone who knows how to get what they want and whatever, and it doesn't matter. And I don't know any woman that's, in my life at least, that's ever asked a partner, like, how many people have you slept with?

I think it's a very, like, antiquated thing of, like, it, being like they want something that's virginal and pure, that's, like, theirs. But, yeah, then they want the other thing too.

They want someone that can sit on it and spin. I don't know. I just think that it's so stupid. But, like we said, I've only had one person ask me that in, like, my adult life, and it was just like,

excuse me? I have never had anyone ask me. I would never say it. I'd be like, that would be an ick or a red flag. I'd be like, meh.

That was one of the ones. I looked back and I was like, hmm, what were you thinking? I shouldn't have continued seeing him. Like, why does it matter? But, to each their own, and if that's something that makes you feel icky, if someone asks that or makes you feel some kind of way, please don't date them.

Next.

Or say that number and be like, yes. And, say that shit with your chest. I can't sing in normal life with my voice. Anyway, we should stop this immediately. I hope we don't have any more hospital visits.

I hope we're on the mend onto a healthier life now. Jesus.

Bon voyage, bitch.

Bon voyage.

Babe, you're gonna see the power of women.

Like, disrespectfully.