Disrespectfully - We’ve Chosen Anger | Episode 18
2024-05-08 01:22:29
Welcome to "Disrespectfully," hosted by Katie Maloney and Dayna Kathan. These two besties have been through their fair share of life experiences. The good, the bad, and the unhinged. In Disrespectfully, they build off those lessons to discuss being unapologetically yourself, getting it wrong, career, mental health, relationships, sex, and whatever else they feel like. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll probably crack a bottle of wine- join Katie and Dayna as they share new episodes Wednesday’s wherever you get your podcasts. Make sure to email us problems, questions, or anything you need advice on at [email protected] and we shall answer them on the pod!
Hello. Hello. Hello. How are you doing today? I'm good.
I'm feeling good. I'm feeling rested.
Finally, yeah, you're really bopping all over the place.
I know which is what I want to talk about first off, because I feel like I've been on So many planes this month, plane after plane after plane. We sure have you have more than me, but I really want to talk about plane etiquette.
We have some grievances. This is gonna be like the angry episode, cuz there's so you.
You. so, how are you? Are you angry? Oh, yeah, I'm furious about several things.
So we will get it like. I am feeling great, I'm really so. we have like so many things even talk about at the top, but so you've chosen anger. I've chosen anger. welcome to disrespectfully.
with Katie Maloney and Dana Cathan, Unapologetically, we're here to do what we want to do spilling the tea, babe. You're gonna see the power of women like disrespectfully. Let's start with plane etiquette, because we ran into several very frustrating situations.
Mmm, I'll let you start first off just the way people behave on place. I mean, I've one of my favorite accounts to follow is passenger shaming. Yeah, so they like, just repost that where people will submit stuff and Of just the absurd shit that people do like yet shoes off where they're sticking their toes Through the sides of the. you know, just the horrific things that people do on planes. But my biggest gripe and it will tie into my basement later on You know the the way people want to board planes and think that they're entitled to things on planes You know, like overhead space and things like that.
Like, if you want to make sure that you have a space to put your carry on Board the plane on time. It's. it's very simple. and then don't give the the flight attendants shit when you don't have a spot for your Duffel, your roll on all of that, and then look around to everybody else and give you know Them crusty looks because they they're sitting there, They got on the plane on time and you rolled on the plane five minutes for the doors closed and you don't have space for your shit. and then they're like Well, we can gate check it and they're like, well, I can't because I have to.
I have a connecting flight. It's like well, why are you not on time?
Correct. We're all on the same page that planes will leave without you. You have to be there when they say boarding I'm. that's something I don't understand. I am never late for a flight.
I, like I have. I've overslept one time in my life. It was a really early flight. But other than that, I am there before, well in advance of boarding. Yeah, I've, I've.
I've missed flights because my alarm didn't go off.
Well, no, I've missed a flight cuz my yeah, and then I've missed flight cuz of, like weird traffic. that happened One time. like there's been Instances that were either my fault or out of my hands. the other big issue I have every single time is why people crowd the boarding area Before boarding. they're in group Z and they're standing there blocking the boarding area.
So when they're quite so, when they're, they're trying to board zone one and you don't know who's in line, You don't know what's going on and you're trying to get through people and no one's budging because they want to make sure they're in Line for the last group call. Yeah, why do you do that? Why do people do that? that is so absurd to me. just sit down and let that like leave that area clear or.
Even if you know if you want to stand, if it makes more comfortable and be in the area, But don't stand right in front of where we all have to go through to get to your spot. We all have zones. We all know what's gonna happen. We've typically mostly all done this before, so it's really confusing to me. My biggest thing right now, like I don't want to get on the no-fly list.
So, first of all, I don't ever understand when people give attitude to people who work for the airlines like, yeah, I know it's frustrating, We're all tired. We're all traveling, but like you got to do what they say you got to do, It is what it is, but D planning right now is where I have my biggest issue. I'm gonna end up in a full-blown fistfight with someone, because I'm not the one like I Don't know if people were raised in a barn. I don't think it's our listeners, But the way that this has happened to me on like my last four flights and I've, I'm on a lot of flights, as are You. so it's like it's a good sample size.
People get up and then they try to charge out. when they are behind your row. We get out from the front of the plane, So each row goes you. if there's what, is it gonna really make a difference for you to get ahead of three other passengers to? Get out?
and I do understand. The only instance in which this is acceptable is if you are gonna miss a flight like you. just let the people around you know Like, hey, I'm so sorry. I need to rush out of here. fine, But if you are at your destination and you just woke up and chose violence, we are gonna have a problem.
I will block you with my body, I will give you the death stare and if you say something to me, we will have a problem. wait your turn.
Yeah, rude, but people think that they're more important. That's, that's the issue.
I feel like this. Larry David would have a lot to say about this, Like it's oh, it's, you follow the rules of the plane. If you do that, we're not really gonna have a problem.
It's etiquette we ball, but these are. these are definitely not people that have never flown before, the same people that When you get up to the, you know When you're going through TSA and you got to take your sheet. these people, it's like their first time on earth, their first time ever flying, and it's like they're just so not prepared. and they're always the people with the Laptops and the tablets and the belts and the things in their pockets and every. it's those people that just wait.
They're like, oh my god, they just like woke up and they're like, oh shit. It's like take your jacket, I'll take your belts off, take the coins out of your pocket. Why are you so like like? why you packing so much right now? on your, on yourself, on your person?
You're fine on your body. put it in the thing. The thing is, you know where this is happening.
I'm pretty trout who travels with a belt on these days.
Oh, you will never catch me in an airport outside of my leggings ever. I I love when people look hot at airports, I, but I will never be that person. It's the same way. I'll never look cute at the gym with like my jewelry on. you don't need a belt on an airport, You really don't.
you should be having leggings on sir.
Even if it's a gentleman, if you don't want to wear leggings, you don't need about the the place.
This has been happening to me. I'm TSA pre-check. So everyone around me is also pre-check. So you have all done this before. hmm.
I have had so many frustrating TSA experiences, And again, it just comes down to people who are not aware of those around them and are just either aloof magoofs, Which pisses me off? Turtles, which also pisses me off like, you know, what's coming? Let's get the flow, let's get this going as soon as we can. but then the people who are just like pushing in front of you to get a bin and they're just like you have Fucked up the order of operation. and now you are being rude to me and I am agitated.
I'm up earlier than I want to be.
We're gonna have an issue. hungover. I'm always like hungover. I'm like standing in line and I'm like kind of like swing.
Well, yeah, equilibriums off these people are getting in the way of me in a mimosa. That's never a place you want to be. Also. We want to go get our 7 a.m. Bevy, our trifecta.
Mm-hmm, which is important to us. Yeah, it's like that. Have we talked about that lady at Heathrow?
Oh.
My god, okay, Heathrow is the absolute worst hotel. He, there's the worst Airport you could possibly travel through. I don't know what they're fucking on over there, But the way they make you put every liquid lotion Think about it chapstick, Toiletry that you could possibly have, toothpaste into a sandwich size, Ziploc bag, and and that about this lady's. okay. Yeah, that was like insane.
I forgot. I forgot about this rule at Heathrow because it's been some time. So last year, when we were on our lads tour through Europe, I was, I was rearranging my bags and I, for some reason, I decided to put all my Toiletries in this carry-on and travel with it. and we were traveling through Heathrow, and so I get there and this woman's like Giving me such fucking guff about it. And I'm just, I'm just looking at her, like ma'am, I forgot.
also like the like. this is, this is the only Airport with this policy period, and so she's just is like in my. like you guys were like offering your Ziploc bag to me and all this, and I'm just, I'm about to fucking lose it. I'm trying to keep my shit together. And so finally, we get it.
We get it all together and I get through and she's like looking at me. She goes why don't you smile? I just was really nice to you. You should. you should just smile.
She told me to fucking smile. this bitch shit.
Okay. Also, I want to specify She also, it wasn't just the regular liquids like mouthwash and things that are actually liquid. She like, takes your Fenty gloss bomb. Yeah, and it's like. this is a liquid and we're like, I mean, I guess, but no.
Chapsticks like anything that's like that weird could be melted down to a liquid. I know she had it out for you.
It was. it was kind of ridiculous. We, me and Raleigh, like, had room in ours. We're just being solution oriented. we're like Can we let us take?
and she was like trying to give us grief after we got involved, trying to help. and we're just like. Ma'am, you are doing this to be mean, and I'm not all TSA. it's, and it's the best when you meet someone TSA and they're like, have a great personality and they're trying to be joyful and like No, it sucks. But like I get that you guys have a hard job, but holy shit, some of them try and ruin your day.
Yeah, no, I'm someone that's always trying to be nice to those people, because I'm sure they deal with the worst type of people all day long. but I just was trying to tell her, like, listen, I've Been through this airport. I forgot, normally when I'm trapped, like normally I check a check a bag, I'm not even having carrying on. but like for this particular time I did so I'd never even have to deal with this. But like I've, so I forgot that this was a thing and you had spilled coffee all over yourself, that, oh, oh, my god, I was already having the worst.
We and, mind you, we were like, as a surprise to no one, a little hungover, because it was our last night in London And we were going to Barcelona. So we're like dealing with Hopping countries. It wasn't? it wasn't just like an easy little thing. and then you were wearing jeans, I remember, because you spilled coffee all over them.
It's already a tough morning, It wasn't good. But when they, it just bothers me when they really grind you down for little, tiny things that it's like, I mean, is a. I don't know why a lip gloss is like a sticky paste. I don't know that it's bomb making material. Although it is bump.
It is. maybe it's because it was gloss bomb.
It was glass bomb. Um, but, like I, wasn't like a shampoo. It wasn't a lotion. what, like it, wasn't a mouthwash. I mean, we're talking like a little tiny.
Lip, you guys. when she asked Katie to smile. I Literally thought that Katie was gonna throw hands. I thought she was in a cell. I just really helped you out there.
You should probably smile, Mike.
That's when I wish one of the liquids you had was like a blood capsule, Like, I'm saying, all women should carry them. so when men tells a smile, you can put in your mouth and crush it and then like smile with blood coming out, but
Yeah, she was a bummer. I'm like I will wipe the smile off your fucking face. slap the smile up your face. It's not white. I'll smack the smile up.
There was. it just was so, so unnecessary. So, you know, anyways, so well, I guess we should talk about why. oh, you're on these flights.
Yeah, we're headed to Nick and Natalie's wedding. Mm-hmm in Savannah, Georgia. He's a good man, Savannah, a good man. I really rode that into the ground. Yeah, you did.
Uh, I thought I heard the last of it. No, never. Hey, here's the thing. so that into Savannah from LA there were no direct flights, so that was challenging. so on the way there, we got lucky.
and our gates, because the Atlanta Airport, if you've been to it before, is Massive and sometimes they put you on My way back. cuz, Katie went to New York. after I headed back to LA. on my way back, We landed in gate E and my flight was in gate a and there was a 45 minutes. I was The tram.
Yes. I had to get on the tram. I am like I am just like Sha'Carri Richardson. I am hauling ass through this airport because, and mind you, it's the day after the wedding. So I am sweating, It's miserable, but so we didn't get lucky.
on the way back, I didn't. but on the way there we deal with all these little annoyances, But luckily, the gate, she was not one of them. Well, Savannah. I had a bit of a bit of a snag, Remind me.
So use the bathroom In between our flights. Oh, and my god, so I read of a physical weekend. It was physical comedy. Well, I have the bruises that would suggest otherwise. Oh my god, the trolley.
Okay. Well, let's get to that. So I I decided to use the restroom before our flight from Atlanta to Savannah and I'm washing my hands and I had, so I had like a weekender bag on top of my Roller bag and so it's like a bit like heavy. So trying to like roll it around, you know, You kind of got a little bit of muscle. So I tried to roll it out of my way.
I didn't quite roll it enough out of the way and I start to like push it and it tips over, but I keep walking and I just I go face first over it just completely, just Just. I'm on the ground, face on the ground and in an airport, in an airport bathroom, And there was a line for the bathroom. So I had an audience for that and everyone just stared at me. Not one person was like, oh, my god, are you? Okay, everyone, just like, stared and I got up and I just looked at everyone and I was like, I'm sorry, You're missing your key element of this what all the wine I drink.
Yes. So, well, you know, I don't want to blame it on the wine. But like the wine didn't help. I don't think it helped my The wine certainly didn't help my grace or my, you know, ability to like, troubleshoot the situation. It definitely like, Probably lended itself more than anything.
So what I got on the plane and I had a little bit more wine, just to forget, as one should, meanwhile.
I'm in steerage. I'm the very back of the plane. I didn't book. Well, I just like on our emo cruise. We're flying great seats.
I'm just basically like trying to get flight attendants attention for wine and like railing Biscoff cookies, and that's.
Basically it, but we saw Katie take several tumbles Along the way. she did it several times. So that was that. and then we get to our hotel. All we want is our robes.
We want our robes. We want room service. We want some bedtime wine, which is important to us when we're traveling. water, water, the essentials, perhaps a green juice, Maybe some holy water. There's no room service at the hotel.
We were at is unavailable. I Stomped down to the bar and I'm like, can I have a wine in a bucket, please? Not necessarily in that order, and they did give it to me. So I brought back, but then we were starving. So we went to Taco Bell route.
Oh, wait, what's Taco Bell the first night? Yeah, Okay, by the way, me so and me and Katie are like we get the first edit of the girth master episode. so we're like watching in bed, like rubbing our little feet together and we're about to go to sleep because we're drunk and tired and.
Then we get a little rumble on our tummy. We're like, I'm a little hungry.
Katie's like I really want a bean and cheese burrito and I was like same. so then, what we've learned? our fucking ops Work at DoorDash. That's what we know They every single time, whether I'm here, whether I'm gone, an order is real. if you want to see me, Hulk.
Get my fucking Postmates order wrong. I will throw the entire order against the fucking wall and just hold Like I will get so upset.
I'll throw out the window. I'll throw against the wall. I'm like, it's not fucking hard next week, Katie's cast in the Avengers.
The thing is they missed an item. so they missed more than one item. I thought they, I thought we were to four and we got three.
They didn't even give us a. they gave us one Doritos, Locos, taco. I. they fucked up my bean burrito. There was like there was like it's one.
I don't even know if it was a whole entire scoop of beans on there.
It was mostly tortillas. I don't want to be precious about this, but they definitely skimmed on my nacho cheese. Am I being in cheese burrito? I noticed it.
It was the worst Taco Bell I've ever had, and there's nothing worse than bad Taco Bell.
And when you haven't eaten all day and you've been drinking and the Taco Bell is still not up to scuff Ah, you know something's going to and we had to ration the hot sauce and never in my life ordering Taco Bell Have they not given me 4,500 fire sauces? They they gave. I'm like, this is a suggestion of hot sauce.
I need two packets per item. Also, even if you don't order hot sauce, you forget assume, Assume that they want hot sauce. Just just throw it in there. for for safety. for safety, Just assume like and if like.
and if someone orders a drink and they forgot to say they want a straw, put a straw on There just for safety. Oh, apparently we have napkins as well. Assume that someone wants some napkins.
apparently, there's a bunch of conservationists working at DoorDash because I haven't seen a straw since 2021. Like, where the fuck is my straw? What am I supposed to do with this milkshake and then just fill it? Huh, that was zamboni it.
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Let's go back in time to LA, because I am, so I'm. this is the grievance episode. So, speaking of door dash, so I've been so bad lately. I've been door dashing a lot. They they forgot an entire item from my order recently and then made the other one wrong, and I'm furious.
But I go to tell door dash, you can only do it through, like the customer service thing. I'm like, this is not there. So, mind you, I base the tip everything off the total of the amount. So if an item isn't there, it's it affects everything, and it should have been like a $10 Return to me, and they were like, how about $2, 80 cents? And I'm like, I don't negotiate with terrorists.
First of all, Second of all, give me the full fucking amount. I don't know. It's just, it's a Ponzi scheme.
But anyway, so we're filled with talk about, because I also I will do like a custom tip and make it a little bit more, Just so that person goes above and beyond to really save, really make sure they're getting shit, correct. And then, when it shows up and it's wrong, I'm just like you, failed me. you failed all of us. I was rooting for you. We were all rooting for you, and now it shows up.
There was like literally three items on this. How did you fuck up so bad? Okay, I don't know if it's the carriers problem or the restaurants, but I don't know who to blame at that point, possibly myself, Because I should have just got my ass out the door to go get it. I blame everyone at that point, I don't know. at that point.
I should just stop post mating.
Okay, I know we're jumping all around. I promise we're gonna get to the wedding, but really cuz this is related, I'm wondering your thoughts on this. This goes into my grievances with a lot of men. I'm sorry. I have a lot of men that are on my hit list today.
I've been seeing all over an app that I'm not on. all the time People door dashers. It's been a female's name, like a woman's name that the driver, like the delivery person, and then women have been getting men coming up to their house and like Waiting, like knocking the door incessantly, and like they're like, I'm not opening the door. Just drop the food. Isn't that so scary and gross?
yeah, so they're like posing as women and Actually men, and we're about to get in the bear versus man debate after this business. Not so scary.
Just as a quick sidebar. It's where it's happening. Is this like a one all over, all over?
I feel like I've seen that before too, but I will. it's like a bomb shelter in my place. I am NOT opening the door until you leave, and I know you have left. I've never. That's never happened to me.
Thank God, be vigilant out there. Anyway, back to the wedding. Okay, and your next injury the welcome party. welcome party. So fun, so fun.
Natalie looked Fucking insane. every single one of her looks was more amazing than last. She looks so gorgeous, Mm-hmm, and you had a bunch of people that you knew there I knew randomly, like when groups of friends collide, like you don't know they know each other. So I shook. who's so sweet.
Can I just say how obsessed with teffy I am? Yeah, She's great. Should we have her on at some point? We should absolutely have her on. I think we should.
she's so funny and cool.
Loved that the drinks were flowing. there was a mechanical bull. I did not take it on because I was wearing a skirt, But let's get to the trolley ride on the way home, because it was pretty much the welcome. It's what you expect. It was great.
Yeah, so we get on our trolleys, because it were at Natalie sister's ranch and it's like 45 minutes away from the hotel, right?
So we trolley. so they had the trolleys pick everyone up from the hotels, which was in downtown, Savannah. So yeah, We're on the way back and I don't know the driver was like in the movie speed, basically, and took a corner going 85 miles an hour. and you know, my dress wasn't like slippery per se, but the the seats were wood, I don't know. but like, I was like not hanging on or paying attention to the corner that was about to be tank and I.
Just breath. She goes down like a ton of bricks.
I, I just slide right off that thing right into the aisle and my like right or left, this my left arm, left arm like hits the edge of the seat and I just Knew that was gonna leave a mark. I have marks. I have several marks. you do you? you look like you've About.
you're a champion battle wounds and I'm just like. what is this? I'm not a clumsy person. I'm not a person that falls, I don't tumble. I'm not like tripping over things ever.
Like. I'm not that person.
I am. I left without a single bruise. Yeah, you, it was You guys. she went down like a ton of bricks. Yes, a couple say those it.
I Pulled a Katie, and I just I saw it happen in slow motion. I just we, everyone around us, just looked at her on the floor of the bus, and we were all. then we react, Oh.
No, that's so embarrassing. so then it was embarrassing, so Dana had to hold on to me like a seat.
Yeah, so then, for the rest of the ride, I was like cupping her. She's like I was holding on. Yeah, What did we order that night?
Pizza Hut. no pizza. I was neither one. Oh, that was, oh, was it? Yeah, that's pizza.
I made a fatal fucking mistake on this trip. you guys, I Didn't bring alka-seltzer. I keep that thing on me. I did for the first night. I was in agony.
I'm like Katie on her street. hot dog bullshit. I am in so much pain She. we were laughing for literally an hour trying to go to bed because Katie was like, well, that was a good idea. Let's eat a pizza and then lay down.
Eat pizza and lay down see what that does to your fucking acid reflux, by the way.
you, Leia haters At the vile files of Pizza Hut. that was the best cheese pizza I have ever had in my entire life. It's so good.
Something, something about their crust, with the way it reacts with their sauce and the cheese on it. I'm not a chemist.
Okay, I'm not a scientist, but they have Something in that something hits different at Pizza Hut. So anyway, we're laughing hysterically, partially.
No, because we wake up the next day. We're laughing hysterically the next day, because we woke up just like just clutching our, like Chest and neck, and just like just the shit was on fire. We were like dry, like dragons. Yeah, I'm like Dracarys, oh my god, that's what that's.
Dracarys Dracarys.
Yeah, cuz you can't eat pizza and fucking lie down and go to bed, Even though the amount of times I've learned that lesson the hard way and still continue to do it like I'm such a masochist.
Oh, truly. and we, by the way, get up very early the morning of wedding and are starving, which makes no sense anyone, because we've Consumed an entire pizza. So we go down to the breakfast place. we get, we get a.
We get a stack of like 20 lemon blueberry pancakes.
The biscuits and gravy and then I want an omelet. She was okay. Well, there's like five pancakes in that stack.
We're like, okay. I'm like, I'm not sure how I feel about your tone.
She was like, um, that's like a lot of food. we're like. we meant it to be. we house. all that shit, the judgment that was coming from this woman, and I'm like.
Save it. Keep it to yourself, but it did the trick. it put me into a slumber. I woke up at 2. we were meant to go back to Savannah because the day before we had explored had a cute brunch.
We wanted to go to explore more. see the river. No, we saw the inside of our eyelids.
I google pictures of it looks great. I Was the hardest nap I've taken. I was like am I sleeping beauty right now? Cuz, I am past the fuck out. It was wonderful, though.
We got up. We got ready for the wedding. Should we tell him about the oil? stain?
God, that was a bummer. You know another bummer. I Didn't have time to like. what would the dress? I did order a dress.
it didn't fit, right? Didn't have time to look for something else. I was like, I'm gonna, just like we wear a dress, recycle. We like to do that. We're, you know?
Ethical. Yeah. Yeah, I think I know you're saying. Yeah, like about sustainable. mine was ethical.
Queens over here, but I think I'll be wear this dress that I wore in Italy when I went to Stassi's wedding. I didn't wear to her wedding, but I wore it. So I was like perfect. I've worn it one time. No issues.
I This like circle, like stain essentially on it, and I was like, oh fuck, what the hell is that? Well, I'd worn it to like a dinner.
It was like the size of three bagel bites to put in a person. Oh, it was like the size of like a bagel. Okay, or I guess I don't know what it was.
Decent sized, so obviously didn't notice it when I had worn it and taken it off in Italy, but I definitely saw it Then, and so I was like this was like before we left for the hotels, like nothing I can do about it now.
We're walking out the door for the wedding. There's nothing we can do. So we get a cocktail for the trolley ride. That's what we do. Nobody noticed.
No, cuz I was like it's light enough. if she had not pointed it out I wouldn't have noticed, but I mean, it's. I totally understood the feeling in oil. There's like nothing you can do about it.
Well, then my the condensation from my glass kept dripping all over my dress. So I had, just like splot, look like I was just like spilling all over myself. I need to point out.
Important factor. so we ate at like 8 a.m. So we get to the wedding. It's like the ceremony I think was supposed to start at 530. It started closer to 6.
Natalie, stunning, beautiful 10 out of 10.
. The whole thing was amazing. loved it back to our tummies. Me and Katie were.
Ravenous beast. the minute we sat down. I was like.
I'm starving. I will say at a wedding. Sometimes they can be. the food is late drinks. right.
when we got to cocktail hour, Tray passes started happening with food. The food was delicious fried chicken sliders, mac and cheese.
Fried mac and cheese things.
You're on it. crab cake, cocktails, cocktails. We were following the tray, pass people around. we were less concerned about socializing.
Whatever. Okay, whatever there's tray passers. I'm always like We want to become their friends and I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be your best customers. Cuz, you know what those people, when you're like, I just want to like, get rid of this food. So you always go to those people.
you're like, I got more and you're like Like. I always want to be that person to those people. It's all in the eyes to. I'm your girl, come to me.
I will search for your eye contact tray pass person.
They just. they always come to me because they're like, I know these your favorite. so they come, they come, find me at that point.
It's a system. Yeah, also, speaking of friends. I made friends with the friendliest cat. They had the cutest little cat there. all days.
I was following her around, but she I'm or we don't know the gender, but they, so friendly, loved the cat. He's a girl. She gave feminine energy. Hmm. Um, they also had baby goats that we held a baby goat.
They had the house. Oh, excuse me. It was a lamb, but there was a goat.
But there's that. Stacy was a baby lamb. They were amazing 10 out of 10.
If there's not like a petting zoo adjacent situation at a wedding, I don't want it. Yes, it was great. It was wonderful. dance the night away. Natalie posted the scariest photo of me yesterday, but it's very funny because her friend did the splits on the dance floor And so me and Katie are behind her and she like, looks perfect and like Katie, looks great.
Look like I'm about to regurgitate something like a mother bird. Yeah, I was just like, um, everyone's Botox looks great.
I don't have any Botox. That's just that is. That will just show you like what Botox does to a face versus no.
But oh the the north third of my forehead look great, the south two-thirds. What is happening? My neck was at a schnack. Whatever it is. What is it's funny.
I'm also people comment. Sometimes they're like, I love the way Katie's forehead moves like Dana's. whatever. I love my Botox.
So good for you. I feel like I could stand to like have a little less Situation happening up there. There's a little like it might. my face goes crazy. if Botox has no fans.
I'm dead.
That's what I know. Your face looks great. I mean you have a macular.
I know, but I'm not saying it's not. I didn't say that. I'm just saying maybe a little, a little less with the express expressiveness up in this Portion. anyways, what did we get to eat the night? Are we really gonna go?
I can't remember, got cheeseburgers.
Oh, we got burgers. Okay, milkshake was great. any highlights?
It was um.
We, we really got after with the food and I'm like, I'm like, do you, do you usually eat like super late like this? It is again. Like I don't. here's the thing I have had a lot of, seldomly, like. sometimes I have those nights where I'm like, I gotta eat something and you know.
But, like typically, no, if I'm hungry, I can't sleep. So I will eat if I have to. I don't typically get up. I need it, especially after drinking. I need it.
since I've gotten home, though, I've touched grass, had a lot of AG one, a lot of green things in my life, done a lot of potty. So I'm starting to feel better. But yeah, we just were it. I felt so gross after the weekend of gluttony. Oh, my, do we miss anything from the wedding?
in general? It's beautiful. We loved it.
Congratulations. I don't think so. There was also Waffle House waffles. I definitely had some of that. Talking about all the food.
We had a bite of it.
Also, there were so many people like random people like J Wow was there. I will say I was like so happy to see her. Just cuz, I'm a fan, but she's so tiny and I don't know what I expected. I guess, in comparison to Snooki, She seems tall, but I was, she was wearing flats at the wedding and I was definitely yeah, but we are tall. But I said hi to her, said hi to her.
I think that's it. Can we talk about what? I'm? fear it, one of the things I'm furious. Yeah, what else is going on with you?
I'm a little worried. What's up? Wait?
Before, before we get to the fierceness. first of all, the girth master episode. you guys have been so amazing about it. We were by we. I mean I was like nervous about our first guest.
He's so lovely people. I have to give him the tea about it because people are asking. people are like People think he carried me out of this building and we boned. that is not what happened.
I have not made love to the girth master. Oh, wait, one other thing. We want to say about just. it's just a little bit of travel, Just things that we love. what's so important in a hotel, besides having like robes, besides having room service, besides anything?
the proximity of the Hotel room to the elevator. You cannot Beat it. Whenever I like you get off the hotel, You're like, okay, my room, you see which direction to go, and it's all the way at the end of the like hallway socks.
It's like those little fucking twins from the shine. You don't even have the tricycle to get down there. You are exhausted.
I mean like. it's just so nice when your room is just like right there. It's just like it's just easy.
Easy peasy. ours was too, and it was wonderful. and it's like you do, like 20,000 steps for a wedding. So I'm like you think I'm gonna do 15 more. No, I'm going to my room.
That's right here. The other very exciting news we have was that tonight? Oh, yeah, tonight me and Katie are DJing emo night in LA. by the time they listen to this, it'll already happen. Yeah, Katie's done it a few times.
It's my first time. I am so excited like be. our playlist is hot fire. It is. I'm very excited.
I'm, I'm happy to be back. That's me a third time. It's the best time ever. It's just yeah, there's nothing like it.
I love it. I will be screaming, crying, throwing up. So so excited. Now to what I'm furious about. Okay, what's your fears about?
Have you seen the man versus bear debate? No,
What is? I don't know. maybe what. so
There is this thing going around on tik-tok where people Someone had started it and said as a woman, Would you rather be alone in the wilderness with a bear? or a man like, come across a strange man or a bear? women have unilaterally said bear. I picked the bear for many reasons, and Men, so many men on tik-tok are so triggered by this and completely missing the mark. There's a guy whose mom was mauled by a bear and he's like you have privilege, blah, blah, blah.
First of all, bear attacks are rare. People run into bears all the time and they scare them off. Second of all, if a bear is gonna kill you, it's gonna kill you, but it's not gonna do anything else to you, It's not gonna sexually assault you. It's not going to put you in a basement, It's not going to. there's just like so many things that can happen and the way that women Just feel so unsafe in the world day-to-day.
Mm-hmm. I cannot believe the way that men are missing the mark. I saw one guy and he was like, yeah, if I had to be in the woods with a woman or a bear, that that bear isn't gonna steal my money and Like literally so insane we're like. we're not afraid that the bears gonna a man is gonna hurt or hurt our little feelings. or, like Gaslight us or ghost us.
We're afraid we're gonna get murdered. How do you not see that? I saw another one? a woman was like. I would pick the bear, because if I was attacked by a bear, at least people would Believe me.
Whoa, Yeah.
Thoughts, questions. No, I know, like that's, that last one is like the biggest one of it all to also like. oh, The bears not gonna steal my money, like dude. It's 2024 women out here just choosing to be single and alone because they have their own money. They don't need your money.
Yeah, I'm not saying that there's not women out there who? Maybe, are choosing to date Men and be taken care of. but like I promise it's a certain bracket, not you, based on his car. I was like sir. No one's, it's not, no one's after me.
It's not. we're talking like we're talking a certain.
Percentile, which is like
Very small. I have loved the stitches of women with all these irrational people, You know, going back in and talking about it, But it's just so crazy to me how over their head it goes, because they never think about it. Men do not walk through a parking garage with their keys in their hand like a tiny little knife looking around. They don't worry about who. they get in an elevator with a stairwell.
They don't have to think about if they want to go on a jog at night with headphones in like it just does not occur.
To them because think about their their drink at a bar. and I'm not saying these things can't happen To men, because there are instances where, you know, men are targeted in certain areas by Serial killer like totally let's. we do have to acknowledge that portion of it, Of course, but as a whole, yes, Women do have like. we do think about these things way more often than men do well.
And also, I don't know the statistics, but I'm guessing it's like hundreds of thousands to one when it. so yes, It's not to say that nothing ever happens to men, but I'm sorry that is not even a, it's not even comparable. No, I know oranges like no, I'm saying in terms of the men that think that, and it's just Yeah, it's so crazy. So who would you choose? I would probably.
Both sound really fucking terrible.
I feel like I could take them both on.
Someone fucks up her door, dash, and she's. I mean, I feel like I could fuck up a dude, to be honest. So, like either one, I don't know. if I could fuck up a bear. I think I could beat up, dude.
I would choose bear. and here's the thing. I'm really scared of bears. I like. it's a phobia I have because because they will fuck you up, but I would take my chances with a bear any day.
I don't think I could take my chances with bear. I don't know that I want to be in alone in the woods with the dude, But like I feel like I could probably outsmart and beat up a guy.
I think. well, it's in the same way that you know this at a bar, when a man won't take no for an answer. that is like my number one trigger and it makes me so angry and I will get in someone's face and Anatomically, they could. if they're bigger than you, you you're probably fucked, but like I, would go down with a goddamn fight. I know that for sure.
But yeah, I just it's men are so scary to me. I'm not saying all men, but a lot of men. so I personally would use their Leia. What would you choose, man? Wow, okay.
Well, you two are the outliers, but I.
Not again, I know that it's you know, But I'm saying I think I might have a better chance at surviving with a guy, with a man, just because I just think I could Like outsmart, outrun and fuck him up more than I could do bear, bears, bears. I think that might be imminent death.
Well, that's. I think that is a point. A lot of women are making. they're like, no, We don't think we're gonna survive the bear. We would just rather Have a bear kill us very quickly.
then, whatever a man's gonna do to us. I think it's what they're saying. But well, speaking of drinks at bar, another thing, I was seeing this guy who's pretty, by the way.
I just want to say I fully understand that argument from women, and it's like for sure. This is just me personally. totally. I'm in that position. fuck it, I'll kill him with my bare hands, with your bare hands, with my bear.
Speaking of drinks, this guy, who's a total icon, was wanted to prove a point to his girlfriend and their friends at a bar. So he took Swedish fish and all night long was slipping them into their drinks to show them how easy it is to do that, And by the end of the night Some of them had like two or three. The thing is, I'm never not aware of that. I always have my hand over a drink, but it can still happen at any time, like you're. you are lucky if You never experienced that, but I thought that was really cool that he was like, Did it without telling them and was like they're like, why are there Swedish fish major?
Why are you so good at this? Well, I just think that any man has that capability.
I was like, um, this is a little alarming that you are so good at this.
Well, I saw a stitch that a girl did it with gummy bears too, but yeah, I don't know. I just thought that was. I'm a little too obvious.
I'm like, I'd be like fumbly and stuff like that. You'd fall over a suitcase and then just like well, I feel like if I'm sitting in a group of my friends, I'm not as like, you know, but if I'm with my one friend and this, you know, I'm gonna be does that make sense?
It does, but we are in groups of friends a lot. You know what I mean?
So so it's one of my friends that's gonna be slipping something in my drink. No, but when we're with our friends.
We're not always paying attention. We're out. We're dancing. You have a drink.
But I'm just saying for them to be like in that. and do you know what I'm saying? No, so they were saying like I'm gonna while we're with our friends and we're sitting all at a table. We're all out. Well, you're like.
guard is down with this group of people. I'm gonna show you how easy it is. My guard is down when I'm in this circle of people, But if I'm just with you, I'm gonna be a little more guard with my drink. I don't know who's outside of this bubble.
Well, there was a lot of people at the bar. So he was doing it all night, where people were all over the place. So I get what you're saying. I do get what you're saying. So he's just slipping fish into all these people like that's, I don't know.
I thought it was cool. Leah. Is that weird? I thought it was cool. I think it's weird.
Hmm. I don't know. He was just trying to like, show them and like, maybe make them more aware.
I thought it was. I don't know, because when I'm with just my like friend, my drink is in my blap, in my hand. in this it's not just on a bar, but if I'm like at a table and it's like all my friends and this is there's It's like an impenetrable group of people like who. but I'm saying they weren't. he wasn't doing that all, they were all over the place.
it wasn't just when they were all sitting at a table, and I think it's just. it's a realistic situation, because when we're with a Group of friends, we are all over the place. So I think that's what's his point. They weren't just sitting at a table and he was like that. context is important there.
Okay, added context. They were all. they were all. it was moving about the bar out the night. Yeah.
No, no, It wasn't just when they were all sitting there.
Be just don't be like putting your drink down and turning away like that's. that should be no.
I will. I was surprised to see that some of the times it's when they were just standing, but some of the times their drink Was down like and but also it's. it goes back to the fact that it sucks. That's a world. We have to live in and be vigilant of all the time, right?
I don't know. just jail all around. I'm like my drink is to my face the whole night. I would be sure if somebody were able to do that. Like your, your hand has to get awfully close to the my line of sight in my face for you to do that.
That's why I do shots obviously.
anyway.
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Wait, so when we move through things, because we have like a notes app where we write down stuff. I'm sorry, but so I see that I saw this on here.
Is One of the my biggest fears and it's gonna happen at some point. It's gonna fucking happen. So when you leave a text window open and it actually starts recording,
voice.
Notes and you look down and it's been recording and you're like, oh my god. Yeah, that has to happen. some people one of these times actually gonna send and sometimes it's like it's a benign thing I'm talking about, like nothing important and it's to like you or to someone else. I was that if it gets sent, it's like whatever. but like the other night, I was with Taffy and Danielle and I was talking about a particular person and That text thing was open and it was 10 minutes of me talking about this.
Not 10 minutes, but like I was talking strictly about this person, But I was talking about this person and it was 10 minutes and I looked down. I was like, oh my god, I feel like I would climb out of my fucking. I feel like I know who it is, But I'll ask you, after this, I would climb out of my skin and it wasn't anything bad, But just like, oh my god, please. No, so then you have to like just so gingerly click that.
Your hands are shaking. We just. it's like a bomb, like a red wire or the blue wire.
Yeah, I'm trying to detonate a bomb by clicking the X and don't push, send and just. you know, cuz, then otherwise I don't know. You can. yeah, you can unsend things, but then, like it might be too late. I don't know.
You can unsend a voice and I don't know, I don't want to find out the hard way one of my most irrational fears. But I've done it like twice in my life obviously sending a text to a person about them. so this is right up there. with that done that a million and like, in the same way that one of my biggest fears is Washing my cat, like I'm me not seeing my cat going my washing machine and sometimes you guys, it's a horrible. I was with it like this with Leo.
There's a few other ones that I literally don't want to say out loud because I'm so scared of it happening. But like it's not going to happen Sometimes I won't start my washing machine until I look in her eyes a few times, like and I know she's literally I'm so scared Of it that sometimes I'll want to say something that could be like a little bitchy, or just like some goss with your friends. You want to say something funny to a person and I will go to pull up a text and I will stop doing it. I'll be like, nope. I hope I remember this in person.
I'm literally too afraid to do that and this, this whole like pocket dial, that has happened to both of us several times recently. It is so scurry.
The. it's yeah, the, the pocket voice note, text to the person. It's always like and at the time I'm like, I don't even remember opening up this text conversation. It's like almost like your phone listens. They're like, oh, text this person.
Oh, voice note this person. That's serious. Just like a messy bitch. Yeah, honestly, I know, when you look down, it's like three minutes. This one was ten minutes of the worst possible time, And again, it wasn't.
I was not talking shit. I was saying The things, but the things I just would not say.
It's just like your dissertation. Okay, wait, I have one for you. What bear? or sending someone a 10-minute voice? No, bear.
Oh, My god, put me in the woods, put me in a ring. put me in a put. Sawed-trap me. sawed-trap me with a bear. Okay.
Okay, put me in the basement with a bear. So you did not. you gingerly made it? Oh, my god. I did.
I was like X. I was sweating, beats, sweat, Starting at the the tip of my forehead there.
It's well. it's like when you're showing someone someone's profile you like or you hate and you're like, don't like anything and you're like literally like.
No, we're never a scroll. That's not the funniest. It's not where these girls. They were like getting out like like Leaves, Like alright, we found the ex-girlfriend's mom's page. They had like gloves on and they were like just like a feather.
These are the feathers scrolling.
It's like they'd handle a raw or like Tiffany diamond, more roughly than they would, that that scroll.
Yeah, I mean it was. it was really.
Ten minutes, could you imagine? No, imagine somebody getting that? they're like, why do they just first of all? Why did they just send me ten minute voice note?
Also, I'm so sensitive. I wouldn't want to get one about me and be like talk your shit privately. I don't want to know, like if someone sent that to you about you like well.
First of all, they'd be like did they just send me a ten minute voice note? What the fuck? and then it's. and then it's ten minutes of like girl chat.
Where it's. there's a lot of other stuff being said, but you're gonna get some yeah, info anyways. But yeah, that's that is. that is one of my biggest fears. I understand it.
Have you ever but dialed someone? um, I don't remember like cuz, but dials like that. that feels like a kind of like.
Somewhat archaic, because we can't but dial these days. I once was drunkenly out with a friend. I was like 26 and I left a three-minute voicemail to a co-worker and at one point had talked about how cute I thought he was, and The next day, when I saw him, he was a gentleman and didn't say anything about it. So, I don't know if he made fun of me for like a pocket dial for a voicemail, but to this day.
I don't know what he heard. Yeah, those that's how they happen, where you'll call someone, don't hang up, and then you just continue like Talking, but I don't know if I was taught. if I said anything Incriminating or embarrassing, it was just probably like I was in the gross. It was like one of those things, or maybe was talking about bullshit or something. I don't know.
But yeah, no, I mean I imagine there would be embarrassment involved in this thing.
But this is a Larry David trait of mine, Do you know, pisses me off. when we have mutually agreed to end the call, we say, okay, Bye, and then you don't hang up. I'm like if I'm in my car and I'm like struggling to get to the screen. and you're just. my sister does this all the Time.
I'm like girl. hang up the phone. What are you doing? Cuz, I'm probably in my car. No, she's at home.
Sometimes. I don't know. I just know I'm like, why is it my responsibility to always hang up our calls? I don't just feels one-sided.
Because if I'm in the car.
Okay, let's say you're not in the car and I'm not saying I'm not attacking you specifically.
Wait a minute. I'm the only time I do, that is when I'm in the car.
Well, I guess then you are more skilled at hanging up the phone than most people. I have run into this with several people in my life and.
literally the only time I will like not actively in the call, because other than I have to like Do it on my phone or I have to like go back into the phone app through my thing and hang up and that then.
Distracted driving. No, totally. The car is acceptable. What I'm saying is I talk to people. I'm like, I know you're home.
What are you doing? Why is this on my shoulders? You also know I'm in the car. I'm just cruising the 405. Anyway, this is a really quick one.
We need to add Kate Beckinsale to the daddy list. I Mean, I'm for it. But what's your reason? because I saw a video of her yesterday. I'm like goddamn.
that woman is legs for days. She also does the splits all the time. She's also a cat person. Mm-hmm. She's just so hot and doesn't age Daddy list.
Yeah, she's a lot of women that need to be on the daddy list.
She's a bit of a cougar, and I love her for that. Oh.
My god, she is slaying him left, right and center, and I'm just like.
She's a daddy.
You look better than I do right now, And it's a bummer that I'm going to continue to age like milk and you are so hot. like who are your doctors? I know?
Let us know, girl. Daddy. Anyway, I Feel like we're forgetting lots of daddy. So right, and she like I think she like ripped cigs, too.
So like. what's that about? I'm sorry. someone I saw there was like a smoker in the street and there's like smoking in 2024. I'm like a smoking.
looks cool. I'm. there's nothing cooler to me than a hot woman. Just ripping a cig.
I love it. I really want it because one other thing that we were like laughing, pissing our pants.
Dana, never. I don't know how this came up Somehow date and I both got on the topic of our our like love back in the day of payless shoes.
But specifically the bogo. buy one, get one. the bogo, you guys, I think it speaks to certain people's Childhood. it definitely spoke to mine, But that's the level we were at. we got a new pair of shoes at the beginning of each school year, and it we did.
It, bogo. so we got to, and just the. I can remember the smell, the sound of the bell when people came in and out The bell, The way that your mom would put your shoes on and then touch your big toes and say wiggle your toes, walk. Oh, she'd have me fucking doing wind sprints. She was.
I'm like, why am I training for? in these bogo shoes?
But you're talking about school. I was, I was bogoing up until like my 20s.
Oh, into into later life too, but I'm saying that it was. it's such a nostalgic thing for me.
Oh, yeah, payless was really fucking doing something. What was I remember getting like Easter shoes, Easter like little patent leather Mary Jane's that you know, payless. Is payless still around? I don't know. I don't know, but I was, I was such a bogo gal.
And yeah, but you're right, the smell.
Very distinct smell, very the belt.
Yeah, the belt, like I, you have to go to, like the certain aisle where your size is, and the boxes you, just like. I, Was like a king in in Payless. I get my jellies at Payless. Yeah, I.
Don't know. This was really funny to us at 3 in the morning, but it's like, so I feel like so many.
I remember. I remember when Christian Siriano had his payless Shoes and I was like I went fucking feral for those the compliments I would get on my payless shoes and people like where they from, I'd be like and I would feel like Not like a bear, but I didn't like want to say because, like You know, I wanted to be like a fashionista and I couldn't. I feel like I couldn't be a fashionista, my payless shoes.
I am about to answer my own question, actually because I also remember payless recently. did it maybe in the last few years? well, they did a thing to troll influencers and they they Pretended their brand was called like Palesi, like an Italian brand, and they had people come in. They were charging like five hundred to a thousand dollars for shoes and these influencers, like you, can just tell I Would rather send a 10-minute voicemail to a person I'm talking shit about. then be those people, those poor people.
They're like you can just tell the Italian quality. It's not like regular shoes, blah, blah, blah, and they troll the fuck out of them. That's so embarrassing. secondhand embarrassment was so real. So is that true?
Are there still going strong?
I am confused because it said that they were gonna be relaunching, but it's saying permanently closed on, like Google Maps.
Okay. Well, maybe the Palesi experiment did not go well for them, but no longer effective.
August 11 2023. retail sales in North America on Payless.com are no longer available. Okay. Well, anyways, but yeah, I feel like I feel like a heart. I'm always gonna be a bogo girl, always, and I wasn't maxinese.
I got all my clothes at Ross TJ Maxx. Like we had Mervyn's. Mervyn's we used to call the bond, but it turned into Macy's.
Oh, bon Marche. Okay. Well, let's move on, then. Can we get to the basement? Please get to the basement.
you you are like, really like.
Angsting. I have three basement people this week and I just have to do it. the first and most serious one, the Very unwell person that attacked me with a brick, I would say, is in my basement first. So I was recently on Hollywood and Vineland and, if you know LA it's not a great area, It's like the Walk of Fame and it's. this was like 10 in the morning.
I was the first person at a crosswalk and there was this guy crossing. He was probably on drugs or something. He didn't look well. I looked down on my phone for two seconds because we were stopped at a stoplight. He, it looked.
it was white. So it wasn't the color of a brick, but it looked like a big rectangular Item, it was definitely a rock. He threw it so hard at my windshield. It was the scariest noise. It scared the shit out of me.
It only left a really small chip. So, like I feel lucky I I cannot believe my windshield didn't smash. but when I looked up he looked. he was so angry looking and, right as he did It, I had my sunroof open. I closed my sunroof and right as he was walking up, He was like he went, haha, like sneered at me.
I think he was gonna, cuz he had another one in his hand. I think he was gonna throw it at me through the sunroof and I feel very, Very lucky that I wasn't physically harmed and, like my car, wasn't seriously damaged. But he picked up the other brick and just ran off like it was completely unprovoked attack and very scary. So, Basement euphoria foundation. Have you been seeing this?
I've used you for euphoria.
they're like the blush, the, the like the pH changing like.
Why jail basement? Cancel? last year. They had a black guitar. They had a foundation launch.
It was not inclusive at all. It was mostly light shades. It wasn't like. there was like one deeper, two deeper tones. It just like in 2024.
It's so gross. So what they did, and the founder was like, oh, it's because we wanted to do us. It's a really expensive formula. We wanted to do a small launch. Okay, well then why didn't you split it 50-50, like it was just such bullshit?
Then they just came out with their darkest shade. It is literally black face paint. and They were like, oh, you can mix it with other formulas. and when people were mixing it, It's great because you can see the ingredients in it. It's a black pigment and I don't know it was just such a slap in the face.
and it's like. It's not inclusive. There's no undertones. They did a whole thing about how their campaign. they couldn't even find a model With a deep enough complexion to do it.
and I'm like, if you can't even find a model, then that's a problem. If it'll it, there's no one on planet Earth that has the skin color. There's no, even with the darkest complexion. There's undertones. There's a warm, cool, whatever, right?
Anyway, so offensive, so gross.
Basement. yeah, no, I I'm. Now that you brought that up. I saw someone that, like they were like swatching it like on their face, and it just looked like Literally just pitch black.
Pigment on there like it, was terrible. So embarrassing for them. last basement. Did you see the couple that had sex?
Oh, my god, the a Crowded Battery Park.
Crowded Park. there was a couple in New York at a very crowded park with children running around that had full-on sex. People are saying it was a stunt, but I have seen every angle of it. against my will, out on tik-tok. They were.
Smashing like. there's no way they weren't. I mean, yeah, they their outfits were. I don't know how, you cuz, maybe they just pulled their Bottoms down. Yeah, I don't know.
I don't. either way, either way, terrible prank. It was super inappropriate and gross.
I. they got out and revealed their faces. So it's just super weird to me, but that is a crime and.
Basement? yeah, like. either way, just like, don't do that, I'm already feeling better. Who's in your basement? It's going back to what we're talking about before, with plane etiquette, when I was on my way to Nashville.
Sitting on the plane. what one of the last, like couple people would get on the plane, where these two women and they got on and they both had like to like kind of larger carry-ons, a roller bag and then I'm, like, you know, kind of like a duffel, like weekend bag, and.
I Sitting in first class and they were sitting like kind of on the across the row for me and they were like they look in The overhead. they're like, well, this is, this is my space and there's, there's bags up here and they're like, well, sorry, And it's like again, like that's not like your space, Like that's not how this works. Like, and if you want it to be your space, to make sure you get on the plane like you, you have the option to get On the plane first. that could be your space, technically, but you weren't here. and when there's the fight is full, They're just putting bags where they can go at that point.
and she just gets such an attitude and is looking around all the other bags and then she goes. that doesn't look like it's regulation and she's like demanding, like that things get moved around or things get taken down and shuffled. it like she's just getting so rude and giving like attitude to, like everyone around and the flight attendants and, like, you know, talking about how She can't have her bags checked because she has somewhere to be after this. and it's just like She's one, like stroll on the plane at your leisure when you, you know, feel like it last one on Demand that your bag get put up and other ones get taken down, and this and that like. I just was like.
I was like You rolling my eyes so Hard, I thought they were gonna fall out of my skull, because I just was like. you have so much fucking audacity To just show up like this and have so much fucking attitude. Like I felt so bad for the flight attendant, I almost was just like, you know. Why don't you just you can check my back? Just because so, just so you don't have to deal with this fucking nonsense from these bitches like they were so rude.
I couldn't believe it. So.
both of them basement dink. don't act like hate that any circumstance in which someone is just trying to do their job and people are.
Okay, it's just like gross. Well cuz for me, like I typically, you know, these days. Yeah, if I'm going on a weekend like I am Doing carry-on, and I know that I need, you know, I need to get them up above, you know the overhead. So I'm making sure I'm getting on the plane as soon as possible so I can do that. Like, so that's what you should be doing.
Don't assume that there's going to be space, that the, the space above where you're sitting, is not Designated to you, right? So please, That's well. that being said, Let's get into home home, hometown hero, hometown heroes.
Brittany says Katie, you've been one of my faves since season one of Vanderpump Rules. You're gorgeous, direct, honest and have a dry sense of humor. The people that don't get it are dummies. those of us that do get it. Don't take life too.
Seriously, Dana, Please tell me you're still doing stand-up. I'm a stand-up fanatic and I legit think you'll be super successful as a stand-up comedian. We need more hilarious and hot female comedians like you out there. These men are still taking up all the air. Thank you.
Okay, so my story. when I was in college, I had a one-night stand with some dude. after we hooked up, I fell asleep naked in his bed, which is very off-brand for me because I usually find a way to be in my own Bed by myself. Anyway, I woke up the next morning and was hung the fuck over to the point where I was super nauseous, Which is very on-brand for me. My puke was so imminent.
I couldn't get my shirt on. I just sprinted to the room across the top of the stairs into the bathroom. I forgot he had told me that his roommates mom wasn't down and she happened to be walking up the stairs when I made my Naked dash when I finished the throw-up session, went back to his room to get my clothes so I could get the fuck out of There. he could barely make eye contact with me and told me the best way to sneak out. It was so embarrassing, but it's not like it was his mom.
Either way. I never felt bad about it. Cheers.
Oh, my god. Well, at least it wasn't his mom. At least it wasn't his mom. I.
Had a horror story, and that's why I think this is so funny. when I was in my sophomore year of college, We were on break. So we were back home and my ex-boyfriend I happened to be at a bar in the city. He was in and we were like still kind of doing the back-and-forth. So he picked me up from the bar.
I don't drink like this anymore. Although obviously I drink a lot. I was blacked out and I do sleep naked. So we went to his house I like remember hooking up and then thought I fell asleep through the night. I woke up naked and he was like, do you remember what happened last night?
and I was like no, and he was like you got up in the middle of the night, woke my parents up because you were going to throw up and I was like What was I wearing? and he was like Nothing. Oh, so both of his parents saw me naked going to vomit. needless to say, that relationship did not work out. Oh, my god, this is just so funny to me and horrifying.
Oh, poor Brittany.
Sorry, girl. Sorry girl, but Anyway, Tanner. Hey ladies. I'm a longtime VPR fan and just discover your podcast. I'm obsessed.
I just finished listening to your March 20th episode and man. Do I have a start story for you? Let me paint a picture. I pull up to the building looking like a freshly disposed of trash bag, with my sweats, messy hair, Makeupless face and glasses. the glasses part is important to the story.
You just need to know that I'm blind as a fucking bat without them. Anyway, I walk in to my dismay. this Greek God greets me at the door. He's dressed to the nines, has tan skin, muscles for days and piercing blue eyes. Panic sets in when I realize he is my masseuse.
Oh, oh, Let me see.
Fast forward an hour. The massage was just wrapping up. I was laying on my back with the sheet laying across my body and chest. Dry drool crusted it around the corners of my mouth. red lines on my cheek from the from the pillow Hair stuck to my sweaty forehead.
There was a heating pad lying on top of the sheet that he would move throughout the massage. He was giving me his spiel drink lots of water when you get home. Take your time getting up. He goes to pull the heating pot off me and accidentally grabs the sheet as well. There I am, blind and disoriented, with, With my titties facing opposite directions, like too sad looking fried eggs on a hot sidewalk.
He gasps, I gasp. He panics and throws a sheet back over my head and body like I'm a freshly diseased corpse. I Scream I'm sorry Why I don't know. I Think my fight-or-flight response is broken. I can hear him scrambling to leave the room.
Then I yell again wait my glasses. I stay under the covers, hiding my face and just stick my hand out for him to place the glasses on him. He apologizes and leaves the room abruptly. I lay there under the sheet for another five minutes thinking about what just happened. Should I leave through the window?
Do I email him a picture my titties? So he knows they don't always look like deflated pancakes, how do I get the red lines off my face? I put my big girl panties back on literally and scurry out the room like a sewer rat. I quickly glanced in the reception area and see him hiding beside a closet trying to look busy. I ran to my car and cried, then laughed and cried.
It's safe to say I will never be stepping foot back in that building. Thanks for reading, ladies, and always keep your titties perked up and prepared, because you just never know. Oh.
You're a nightmare. We know you'll get a weird around a hot masseuse. Well, that's why you always gotta be prepared.
You never know what kind of masseuse you're gonna get. Also. Ah, but it's always.
You're an amazing storyteller, but I mean like. they're always so like very cautious when they're like kind of moving things around, like I feel like they're always like Wedging the sheet under your body. So when they're pulling in certain things, it doesn't accidentally pull off.
I was like notice. I'm like I'm doing that. this guy's like a magician, where they pull the things under all the plates and dishes.
But yeah, I like. just pulls it off you and you're like, ah, oh, My god, that's hilarious. Thank you for that.
Well, with that being said, should we dub dub dee dee, dub dub dee dee is.
Allison says Validation, the word that is lost on our society. You can say that again. Your podcast has made me smile and know you guys are on the same page as me. I gathered a significant amount of debt and my husband was adamant. I had to get a second job, which I did.
I worked seven days a week, my full-time job and 20 hours plus at my part-time job. Because I am so absolutely exhausted, me going to the gym five days a week went down to nothing. I'm exhausted. Am I wrong to confront him about saying I should have enough energy to at least go one day a week? P.s.
My, I love my husband, but he's called me fat in the past. Ew, I cannot win with trying to pay my debt off, which he constantly is. pissed how much I work and.
Apparently, at the same time I need to work out my husband's wonderful man, but I feel torn. I feel torn down and love you both. Hope all's well.
div? o r c? e?
Girl, no, I mean, I don't. I'd like listen. I don't. I don't. I Don't know how someone can be like wonderful but demand That you work to the point of exhaustion Because he's pissed about your debt, but then also pissed that you don't look Wonderful and and I like, I don't.
I don't know how he's not connecting the dots. This person doesn't sound wonderful. It sounds like you're ignoring, possibly like some major major red flags, and wanting to like.
Paint a pretty picture of something. look, I'm not seriously saying get a divorce, like you can talk to him about it. But I'm really in agreement with Katie here. This is like different people have different lines, and someone calling you fat that claims to love you and pressuring you to work out And making you feel Insecure about yourself is gonna lead nowhere good for your mental health and in general. It's just like that's so gross.
Men calling women fat is just like not it for me. So where's the support? Where's this?
Like. yeah, like I mean, obviously, if it's your dad and he wants to see, you know He doesn't want to take on your dad. I can't blame a person for that. But like.
I'm curious to see if he's ever worked seven days a week. I have. I know how Exhausting that is and like it's also not super sustainable forever. like it's really hard to do that and it sounds like you're taking care of your dad and being responsible, but Like no, yeah.
I mean if that's, if it's not conducive to also then try to like work out so you look good for him, like he needs to get a grip, and Again, that's gonna wear on you. I saw tick-tock that said I'm gonna say the quiet part out loud if you stay with the wrong person for too long, it's gonna fuck you up for a really long time. and I can agree with that, because my own personal experience and I just think that, like You're putting a lot of pressure on yourself and you're taking on a lot to maybe just.
Consider I don't want to, I don't remember gonna be like leave him, but I mean, just like You need, you need a supportive partner through these times and if this person is gonna like, also like, just put added pressure on you and not Love you and support you the way you need to be, then just think about it. Also, I'll assume we love and support you. We do. Thank you for supporting us.
Andrea says, as a single gal myself, what are your thoughts and going to a bar by yourself? My neighborhood has bars and walking distance and sometimes I just want to go to a bar alone, But don't want to appear as a sitting duck waiting get creeped on. I'm open to meeting men, new friends out, But don't know how I'd be perceived. and if I have the courage seeking advice from two badasses who I admire so much, Thank you. I say you should get uncomfortable.
Sometimes. I actually really like going to dinner alone. I will, like I, go to the movies alone. I think it's not always easy and you should worry less about being perceived and more about doing things for yourself. Mm-hmm, It is always a risk, Of course, if you are out alone at a bar, that you will get creeped on, but I think that that should not deter you From giving it a shot.
Also, what do you have to lose? go to one and see how it goes? Yes,
Is it? the bar bartenders make great? Conversationist. you can talk to them, ask them about people that come in here, if, like, they know any people that come in there regularly. That maybe I don't know.
they can introduce you to you, never know, but I think I think It exudes confidence to be somewhere alone more than anything, rather than being perceived as like some kind of loser or something. I think it. I think it shows like confidence. if anything, Do that shit. Yeah.
Hell. Yeah. Okay, Camille. Did I cheat? Oh, if you have to ask, I Love you guys and you are All so hot, Thank you.
My question is did I cheat? my ex-boyfriend claims? I did. Let me explain. I've been in an off, but mainly on relationship, for about six years.
five years ago We broke up for a couple of months. I was sad. So I slept with someone. then we got back together. About one and a half years ago.
We broke up again for three months. I slept with two people during this time. Of course, I told him about these men once we got back together. Now a reoccurring argument is about me cheating. Did I cheat?
I really don't feel like I did, because we were broken up. What would you do? I would love to know how to grown-ass woman and feel about this. No, you didn't cheat. No, if you were, if you were 100% not together, Not living together, not like in a relationship like you, it was clearly defined That you were not together during that time.
Then. No, you did not cheat. just because you end up getting back together Doesn't mean that those time, that time apart, didn't count, because, for all, you knew you weren't getting back together, right? You were trying to move on.
She's catching me in such an ornery mood today, too. I'm like dump him. Sorry, You also have to decide in a relationship Whether there is real cheating or not. If you choose to stay together, even the person that's cheated on you either have to stay together and get over it or break up. So if this is something that he is going to constantly bring up and weaponize, this relationship, in my opinion, is over.
But also you didn't cheat, and also, if any man did exactly what you did, They would die on that hill that they didn't cheat.
So, yeah, no, I had. I had a boyfriend one time way way, way back in the day, who, like we, broke up for like a short period of time or whatever, and I had hooked up with someone else in that time period. but like I didn't, I didn't know That, I didn't think we'd ever get back together. and we did, and I told him about that, and he Gave me so much shit about it and was so passive-aggressive about it. It turned me off.
It gave me such ick that I was just like if you're gonna be this Like, insecure about it, and he was one that broke up with me, too. so I was like I was trying to get over him and all that and then, and then I was just, I wanted to Be like up front and honest about it, because he asked me. Sometimes it's like don't ask questions. You don't want answers to, and like, don't you know, maybe don't give them answers like that, But I don't know. Yeah, maybe.
This isn't the person for you anonymous says hi, ladies want to start out by saying that this is my comfort pod. I watch it every week. It helps me get out of my head. so much So. thank you for doing that.
for us listeners. I work with my family and my uncle is my boss. He's like a dad to me. Sometimes I feel so isolated and like I'm not doing enough a good job, Even though there have been no complaints coming from him as of late. I feel disconnected from my assistants and the organization.
I love what I do and have been with the company for eight years since I was 18, But I've been dreading work and feeling so negative about my relationships. there any advice on how to change my mindset to be happy While working again, what would be so appreciated? Hmm, if you're feeling stagnant in a job, Even if you've been there for eight years and you love the people you work with and you love what you do, There's usually an underlying reason for that. eight years is a really long time. I think the longest I've ever been with a company was like four years, and also it sounds like you have a little imposter syndrome Going on if you're feeling like something is wrong, but you're not getting any complaints from the people you work with.
It's typically you Projecting some fear you have, perhaps about your performance or something else. but I would say more than anything maybe take a little bit of time and evaluate where these feelings are coming from, and Perhaps perhaps you've outgrown this job. Like, perhaps you need to be at a different company, a bigger company, working with a different team. Perhaps you need more responsibility with the company. You're currently at.
that's that's what I was gonna say.
Is, I think maybe you're feeling that you've just like outgrown something and you're feeling maybe a little bit of like Guilt, that you're trying to like repress in some way, that you feel like this is like a family business. I I don't want to feel this way because, obviously, like your uncle's, like a second dad to you. So you don't want to like leave the company, but you're not feeling connected to it. You're not feeling passionate about it. so maybe like take some time to do some soul-searching and find out, like, is this something that I want to do for the rest of my life?
because not feeling connected to something is gonna not Make you feel fulfilled in life and it's gonna lead to like.
Resentment or unhappiness, or I don't know. I think it's important to feel like what you're doing is something you really love, totally Okay. Well, thank you for writing in. We appreciate it. Those are great.
disrespectfully pod at gmail.
com
Keep it short. Keep them coming. Keep them coming. Can't wait to rock out with you tonight. I'm so excited.
Let's fuck it up. Okay, love you. Bye.
You, babe, you're gonna see the power of women like disrespectfully.
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