Aaron Rodgers, Xander Schauffele Owns Golf, Mt Rushmore of Animals We Wish We Could Be + Politics In Strictly Ice Cream Terms
2024-07-22 02:05:29
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Go, go, go, go go.
What are you doing taking notes?
Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy?
The Instigators rated R now streaming on Apple TV. On today's part of My Take, we have a very, very, very, very, very special guest, Aaron Rodgers, in person at Lake Tahoe. He's out of my life now, so a little different than the first time we interviewed Aaron Rodgers.
Had a great time with him, he's a Jets quarterback, that's how we'll always remember him. So great interview.
We also got memes in on the action today.
Yeah, memes asked some questions.
Hard-hitting journalist memes.
He actually fucked up one question. I won't spoil it. We'll actually talk about it after the Aaron Rodgers interview. I also have a It's not a full Monday reading, I just have a paragraph I'd like to read to everyone. We have Mount Rushmore of animals. We'd like to be Hank coming off his huge second place. I fucked that draft up.
I wish I had screwed that up.
Hot honey should have been on the list.
Yeah, and Hank was able to avoid fourth because I was just so bad.
Some people are wondering if you did it on purpose.
No, I just was bad, I was bad. We're going to talk about the Open Championship, we're going to have a great time. We have Who's back of the week as well.
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Okay, let's go.
Boy.
Boy.
Now in the street, there is violence and there's lots of work to be done.
No place to hang out or wash in and then I can't game all under the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue and then we'll take it higher. Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.
It's part of my take, presented by Varsity Sports.
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On DraftKings, today is Monday, July 22nd, and boys, Xander Shoffley is the Golfer of the year. How about that two majors? Everyone thought it was gonna be Sheffler.
Shacking him up. It's like crazy that the year has been. Scotty Sheffler. I know there's still some golf left. But Xander winning two out of the four majors and winning it in incredible fashion in Scotland on Sunday. Where he just he went to the back nine, he was down two strokes, I believe, and he basically was like, Fuck this, I'm winning this tournament.
He had the eye of the tiger, and I mean, Woods, and he was making shot after shot, shot four under in the back. Nine won by two strokes. And he now has half of the majors in this year. And we saw his finally get to celebrate with him wearing his Panama. Was it Panama, Jack? Is that what the name of the hat is?
I believe so, yeah. He was wearing the hat, he had a flask of whiskey, he was looking awesome.
Haas, Haas, big time Haas, absolute Haas. And Xander is now I like, you can't say that Xander hasn't had a better. I know Scotty has all like these wins on the tour.
Two majors.
To one, that's it. Xander had the better year. Well, it's crazy because Xander Shoffley could not win a major. And then now the lid's off, he broke the seal.
He did. We've all been there and this is a big year for the United States of America. Yes, we had all four major winners. That was the first time, I want to say, since it's been a very, very long time.
Two thousand, Jack and Arnie, and it was all Tiger. No, no, because, remember he did the Tiger Slam, so it was not all four in the same year.
It was 1982.
First time since 1982 that the winners of all four majors are American. Who was that in 1982? Don't have it gotta be Jack and Arnie.
Probably Jack and Arnie. Yeah, she's got to say that, but it's still a USA is back.
Yeah, it was.
A suck my dick world. I, I. I stand by my take that I don't want to play golf in, uh, England links golf, but I like watching it. Because it looked miserable. Friday, especially Friday, looked like hell on earth. And they actually said that I think someone I can't remember who it might've been, Scotty said. It was the gates of hell.
When you, when you make the turn to nine and the wind's just right in your face, guys were hitting, uh, like, drop. Actually, there was one guy who I can't remember exactly who's who it was. But he said he almost hit driver on a par three. But he's like, I can't do that. But he thought about it because the wind was that miserable.
I think Scotty, it was, uh, that, that long par three, it's like 230 yards and Scotty hit a three.
And stuck it to like two feet. It was. It looked so miserable, guys were struggling left and right, uh, but Xander was the best and it it did calm down. I know that links. It's fun to watch because it's fun to watch them struggle with it and have to hit these crazy shots.
Uh, but I just watched it and was like, if I had to play that, I infinity shots for me, I'd say there's some holes where the.
Bunkers are so deep that if I got in there, I would just take my bag and I would just drive.
The opposite direction. That was that one guy on Thursday who just left, Yeah, I'm out. It looked like me.
I liked that move. He was like, he hit such a bad shot. He's like, I'm not going to go pick that up. Yeah, I can't say my back hurts.
I'm not even I can't look for this thing, yeah.
Brooks Today, he wasn't today, it wasn't yesterday where he lost his ball, I think it was Saturday. Yeah, he lost his ball. And then he hit another provisional and that was also a very tough one to find at that point.
When you're provisional is not when you can't see it. That's another one where it's like, I'm going home, yeah, it's not my day. And Xander just, I mean.
That shot on 11, where he's just like, Fuck it, I'm going right for it. Yeah, it was so awesome. I hank. I have a question for you as our golf expert.
Uh, but we should at least mention, um, that we are. That was really cool when Max cheered that loudly to make the cut. And that has everything to do with the fact that he's a friend of ours and we're completely biased. Cut of the year, Cut of the year take these are coming up in the in in in next week, might be Cut of the Year. I. That was one of those moments where I'm like, that's our guy.
Yeah, he's a good dude, right? We wouldn't make fun of it if it was someone else.
Good, that's our fucking guy. Good golfer, even better human this year, he's been a better human being than golf in the majors.
Yes, but uh, except for the first three rounds of the masters.
I will say the if he had done that for, uh, the U S Open, PGA or the Masters, I would have. It would have taken a lot for me not to say something. I can understand, being like, I don't want to have to fly all the way back home. Yeah, I'm here for this tournament, yeah.
And like, it's across across the pond, all that shit, you've probably got to be nice, you've probably.
Paid for your Airbnb already? Yeah, might as well just use it for the weekend, right?
Like, if you.
Lose the if you don't make the cut at Masters yet, it's a bummer, but you can be home within.
Five hours, yeah. Also if if he hadn't made the cut, he might not have been able to get home with the airline delays, that's true, so think about that.
Uh, the, uh, the cleric jug, I think I think, is the best golf trophy. Embrace debate, best one to drink out. Are we counting them the green jacket?
The green jacket is a trophy. Yeah, uh, in which case, I would say, yeah, green jacket. But besides the one that they wanted us to take a picture of, the Fedex Cup, yeah.
That one, I mean, the aura on that one, really. It's all. All eyes forward to the road to Dubai, Rory told us. That's the most important one of the entire year. We, we listen.
The people at the PGA have been incredible to us and they've gotten us some great guests. But when you were like, Yeah, the Fedex Cup trophies coming by, do we want to do something with it? And Hank and I were like, Um, I don't know what we would do with it. Drinking coors light out of it. We didn't win a I feel I would feel wrong doing that to a trophy.
We have no business. Yeah, I'd look at it, I would point at it, yeah.
Like, there it is.
And be like, one day, one day, this could be ours. No, but it's a the cleric jug is. I think it's underrated trophy. Yeah, it's one of the most underrated in sports. Did you hear Xander's dad?
Said he's drinking wine out of it. It'd be sacrilege to drink beer out of it. I know you.
Can drink it? just? Yeah, it has to be room temperature beer. No, he said it would be.
Sacrilege because it, uh, let me get the exact quote. Uh, I think you have to drink whiskey out of it. Well, he was drinking whiskey out of a flask in the back of the media room. Yeah, you gotta stay warm.
Awesome um hank question for you? Yes, in terms of this golf tournament.
Uh, what? First of all, rank your majors, which ones you'd want to win.
Masters Open, U.S. Open, Oh, opens, too. What about the Ryder Cup? That's not a major, that's not a major.
In my mind, that's a good answer. So open is number two. Yeah, more history.
There's a lot of history birthplace of golf, There's a lot of history, uh, hank, and it's like, more, more random, there's always more random winners.
I feel like, in the open, like, even what was the guy's name? Tristan? Tristan? Yeah, uh, this is what I thought it was Thurston for most of the weekend.
Yeah, the same. Until I turned it on the broadcast, I was like, Oh, this is what Xander's dad said, he said.
Xander said He, uh, he himself is not a big drinker. So when a reporter asked what he would drink out of the Claret jug, he joked he couldn't wait to see what his father would put in here first. So then a gaggle of reporters rushed over to Stefan to ask. He solemnly looked down from the brim of his Panama hat to remind the reporters. Claret means a red wine. for, uh, from Bordeaux, of course, it's claret jug.
If you put beer in it, that's sacrilege. I'm not fighting with that guy. He was a haas. I would, I would put beer in it. I, I'm going to let him do the wine.
Then maybe sneak in a little beer at the end. Americanized that trophy. My question for you. Billy Horschel was kind of rooting for him, seems like a really nice guy. Didn't love, didn't feel like he dressed to win a major.
Today, he's got a unique vibe, though he always kind of dresses. I don't know, I think he dressed to win the Open.
Yeah, the cardigan, no, I don't know it, just it didn't feel like killer.
You know, it's a little too nicely, it's a little too nice. That's, uh, what's the what's the guy who is, uh, who the the kids who read the kids books? Who was a U s sniper, Mr. Rogers?
Yeah, that guy, not really, no.
No, there's a rumor that he always wore the cardigans because his arms were just padded.
Up like a motherfucker. My favorite rumors Um, Billy Horschel. So I was rooting for him, cause I was like, I didn't have. I bet on Brooks, I bet on Hovland, cause we thought he was, you know, questioning death.
One of the dumbest bets ever. Uh, so I was just I was watching as a golf fan on Sunday and I was rooting for Billy Horschel. His putting like set up when he set up for a pot, maybe four, I was like, that's it, he's done.
I don't know if that's like, I know it's what his setup is. But it looks so nervous and so not steady that I was like, he can't win a major. It's also hard. Sometimes, like, I, you like that where your heart in your sleeves, guys. But also sometimes when they're like, overreacting, to miss pots and stuff. When it's that early in the round, you're like, Yeah, you got it, you got to get it together, you can't let like.
Xander just doesn't react to anything. He was. He was just staring like he would hit a great shot and he would just stare down, like, put his head down and be like, next shot. Billy Horschel was practicing his putting technique while someone else was putting on like the fourth or fifth. I like this guy's cooked and I wanted him to do while I was rooting for him, but I just maybe he's got to do.
You think, as a golf expert, he's got to change his putting stand? No, I think whatever I think it got him, got him that that far. Okay, he's come a long way in the last year.
Cause I just saw it with my eyes and I was like, Nah, doesn't have it.
Doesn't.
Most likely, when you look at their Wikipedia page to just list their golf accomplishments and nothing else. Yeah, just like this is what this guy's known for. Made the tour in this year to, like, top 10 finishes, then won the Open, Yeah.
Like, a master's champ might have a DUI, they might have a DUI, something fun in there, maybe they've played football in high school, yeah, open championship.
There's so many guys where it's like. He joined the web tour in 2011.
Stewart Cink He was born on the web tour. Everyone's Stewart Cink won it. Yeah, that was.
Cool, the other thing about him? tan line, tan line. Yeah, at least he's got crazy also, really.
Cool that his name's Stewart Cink. Yeah, it is, you got to sink putts. She's fucking bad. Uh, anything else from from the golf?
Did you watch it all hank or were you golfing? No, I watched. You did, yeah.
I like having it on in the morning. Yeah, I mean, I woke up. I watched the, you know, last three or four hours, but it was kind of like, you wake up. And guys have played 18 hours. But it's nice, like on a Saturday and Sunday, it's a nice change of pace, being like it's going to be over by like one o'clock, it's just nice.
It is fun to wake up and see somebody.
Have, like, the worst hole of their life to start your day. Yeah, they're doing the recap of what happened, what you missed while you were sleeping. You're like, Oh, that guy had a much worse day.
Than I'm going to have. Yeah, this is good. I also had a very dumb. I can't wait for football to be back, thought, but just seeing the stands full of people in sweatshirts and jackets.
I was like, I can't wait for Thanksgiving football. I got a text from our good friend Mike Vrabel this morning. Just have a picture of the Muni lot and it said, like, I can't wait for that. Yeah, uh, seven weeks. The Muni lot will look like this.
And look, just look at these dudes getting ready to watch football in Cleveland. This is going to make you excited. Yeah, very excited. Look at that.
That's football, almost back, we're almost there, guys. Yeah, I'm ready.
For it, I'm ready for football, my body is ready. I mean, golf is great, but football's football, that's just the difference.
We've have you seen the like clips for coming from from training camp.
Yeah, it's awesome. I mean, we, we fucked up, we fucked up by letting Patrick Mahomes have Xavier Worthy, yeah.
That one, we did that, that was a clip where it's like, get ready to see this a million times. You've got to be especially bad for Bill's fans to watch that. Yeah, fastest guy.
Out there, um, okay, other things, I guess we should probably talk about, uh, politics, but only do it in a sports way. Uh, your boy means Casiano's could not be more back. He's dialed. Casiano's hit a home run today.
I know it was after, uh, Joe Biden dropped out of the race, but he also did it. Uh, a couple hours after the announcement that Tom Brenneman is back, uh, calling college football games, that's my who's back in a week? Was old Tommy B.
And then Sports Book lost all their money today on Casiano's hitting a home run. Yeah, the minute Biden's out.
You know, he's going to hit a home run. You got a Pokemon go to draft Kings whenever, whenever something bad happens, cause Casiano's has dialed in, he's got his pulse on.
On all the tragedies, yeah, so I got a question. The only question I got is is, uh, the whole Biden thing is he? He now is just, uh. That coach who got fired at Long Beach State and then made the tournament, that's what's happening.
Kind of, yeah, so he's going to ride it out, he's.
What if just Russia loses the war against Ukraine? What if the economy goes through the roof? Can he jump in first week in November and be like, I think we're going to run it back? We got some momentum, we got something going here.
It took me stepping down to make it happen. It, it is kind of.
Like the backup quarterback situation, you know, the whole the whole weekend was was we. We said this a couple of weeks ago, but it really is political, political people not understanding sports fandom. Because all the leaks that were coming out saying there's no way he's dropping out, yeah, we're just what happens before coach gets fired, yeah.
Or if it's, if it's a quarterback.
It's like, Kamala, are you ready? Are you really ready to see Trevor Simeon start? Yeah, you think you want to Trevor Simeon start. Let's go until he steps up and then throws three picks in the first half.
And you're like, Fuck, I kinda, I kinda miss Zach Wilson. Yeah. And there's factions inside the.
Coaching room Yeah, it's like, Oh, this Trevor Simeon? Well, the Trevor Simeon was drafted by.
By the solid player, yeah, he's been around for he was dropped, he's had a job for like, 20 years.
He was drafted by the new GM. And they're like, we got to, we got to make this switch. So, uh, yeah, that's politics as it relates to sports, so that's that's about it. Yeah, they're probably still going to lose.
I do think it was fucked up. They made him do it on National Ice Cream Day. Guy loves ice cream. Yeah, he fucking loves ice.
He didn't wait till the Open was over, too.
Which was nice. Maybe he had, he like, ate a bunch of ice cream, and he was like, I could just do this every day. Yeah, like, I don't have to have a job, I don't have to worry about running the world.
Anymore, I can just there. Probably is like, a bunch of national ice cream days, right? That's one of those days we should listen. Jill, Dr.
Jill Day, Dog Day, donuts, coffee, it's like.
There's 17 of them. There's a bunch of women's days, too, yeah, and then whenever that happens, everyone like international Men's Day trends, because everyone's like, how come there's no?
International Men's Day and weird all that. There's only one stake in a blow job day.
Interesting, that's fucked up. interesting, huh? interesting.
I think trying to keep us down. I think this week is Uncle's Day. Shout out to all the uncles out there, the real heroes, Uncle's Day.
National Uncle's Day Baby, Yeah, big time you don't even become an uncle like by.
You don't do anything, well, you don't, you don't choose to you, you're born and then you have a.
Birthday, Yeah, I know, but it's just very funny to be like, Uncle's Day, you don't? you don't choose to be an uncle. It's, it's, it's bestowed.
It's bestowed upon you, you can't turn it down you.
Can't, yeah, can't be like, No, I don't want to be an uncle. Thank God, there's a holiday for uncles, yeah.
The parents that pick up the kids and then just get rid of them at the end of the day, once every month. I love it. You deserve a day off. You could also just tell Joe Biden Just every day is ice cream Day.
Yeah, Jill, just tell him that, just be like, for me, honey, guess what, ice cream day again today? yeah.
It is for me, the, uh, my apple doesn't.
Fall from the tree. My son is now pulling my own tricks on me. Where we went to the ice cream store last night or Saturday night and, uh, we got the same exact ice cream. And he was like, Hey, can I try yours? I was just like, God, fucking damn, yeah.
You never know it might be better. Had like half of my ice cream. Like this bullshit. There's nothing better than vacation.
Gelato or vacation ice cream? Every day, every single day, if I'm, if I'm out of the office, if I'm in a different city, you bet your sweet ass, I'm getting gelato.
Like a hot day at the beach or the pool, and then ending it with a fucking huge ice cream cone.
That's it, you know, what I like about the cups is the tiny spoons, so you don't think that you're eating that much gelato. You're like, I'm just I'm just nibbling, I'm just a cone guy going.
Through same, same, same waffle. It's regular. I used to be a regular and then my lifestyle just got too big. I just, you know, I know, but I need, I need the I need it to be able to hold all that ice cream.
Yeah, but I like, I usually like one scoop, right? Yeah, no, I'm a two scoop guy and two scoops. Don't go in sugar cones or the cake cones, you need the waffle cone.
I just, it is what it is, you got to. It's like going from XL to XXL. Same scoop or two different flavors, sometimes I'll mix and match. But the problem is you got to make sure the bottom flavor is the is the like you. If you're taking a risk, if you're in between two flavors and you fuck up the bottom flavor, you got to restart and just get another cone. That's why I'm more into.
The cup, because you get the two, two different flavors, two scoops, two flavors, and then you get all the toppings. If they can, like, put extra toppings, then the cup catches at the bottom. But it sounds like you're the same type of eater. I am. Where? If you get a plate and you've got three or four different things on that plate, you save the one you want until the end, right? The last bite is the most important bite.
I dive into whatever fucked up vegetable that somebody made me get, I eat that first, and then you save the real action for the end.
Have to have a great last bite. Want to know a real fat guy moves? I do go ahead, Max.
Not.
The the topping, yeah, I got to get, the whipped cream got to, got to get the gummy bears got.
To get the chocolate syrup. Sometimes I'll go Real fat guy and I'll get a bowl with the toppings and a cone on the side. And I'll just be like, it's like, you can basically have like six cones because you just keep scooping it in, No, you keep adding more to the cone, you lick, then add more.
And then you finally eat the cone. Real fat guy move, but pro's pro move. I got a great.
Great spread this weekend I got. It's a combination. I didn't even know that this existed. Shout out, Michigan.
They have more fat guy flavors than any other state in the union. It's a combination peanut butter and marshmallow fluff mixed into one spread. It is fucking.
Awesome, that's pretty good. Yes, that's pretty good. What are you going to say, Max?
I was just gonna ask if we could get ice cream tonight. Yeah, we should, we should, this is good.
This may be who just showed up to the first episode for Aaron Rodgers. Uh, find me a breakdown of Joe Biden stepping down better than this one, yeah, where we just talked about ice cream deep.
10. minute Deep dive into the sweet, creamy treats. This is how politics should be discussed. Can we have ice? Yeah, can we have podcast outside today?
Fuck yeah, it's the summertime. Yeah, do whatever we want. What are? What flavors are you guys going to get?
I'm going to do, I'm going to do a mix of.
Mint chocolate chip, cookie dough, mint chip, mint chip, mint chocolate chip, mint chocolate chip.
Yeah, I had, I had double scoop mint chocolate chip last night, I wonder if there's somewhere.
Walkable? I don't like it when the mint chocolate chip is white ice cream. Yes, green, it's got to be green.
Make it green I want to be green, I want that weird, fucked up color of green that doesn't exist in nature, besides in mint, chocolate chip, ice cream. Matthew, since you're sitting here.
And just in just nodding your head, I know you love ice cream, so tell us your favorite flavor chocolate. Okay, there we go.
That's good, that's like a fucking, that's basically just.
Running power, offense, yeah, run the ball, yeah, on the football.
Stop the run for four yards, get your first down. We're playing Steelers football right now. Also, Uh, butter chocolate is my favorite. peanut butter. chocolate's not bad, but when you combine the peanut butter and in ice cream, it's good.
I don't like peanut butter, chocolate cookies. I think peanut butter. what do you mean? Like, if it's a cookie that has peanut butter flavor and chocolate flavor? I don't like that.
Drives my mouth out, Oh, I agree with that. And an ice cream.
He's saying, like, a an actual cookie? Yeah, like a peanut butter cookie. I'm not a big fan of peanut butter cookies, but I love peanut butter and chocolate together. Yep.
Are you? I'll eat peanut butter or anything? Hank and I are maybe like, the foundation of our friendship is peanut butter and chocolate. Anytime we have Reese's, we'll just give each.
Other a slice. Um, speaking of Matthew, are we going with Huey as his name? I, I, someone said.
To me, well, I'll find the tweet. So holes out, hole is a hundred percent out. It just doesn't work. We tried.
It doesn't work, but a shout out. The Awl Mikey memberships. great fucking name Mikey memberships. Intern Matthew is a huey.
If I've ever heard one, don't even need to see him to know he's a huey, I mean, I I think he is a Huey. And I kind of liked the idea of him having to introduce himself to, like football coaches. And and Aaron Rogers being like, Hey, I'm Hugh.
Now, let's talk about the spelling, cause I think he's an H U e H U e y huey, not H E W E y baby.
Huey, yeah, huey the the the comic, yeah.
You're a Huey. Yeah, you're Huey. you're baby Huey.
You're a big duck, you look like, baby. There's a lot of great Hueys out there, Huey, Lewis, and.
The news has maybe, maybe, maybe. He's a gigantic and naive, duckling cartoon character, I mean.
It's perfect. Huey Jackson, Great football coach, yeah.
Huey Lewis in the news. Yeah, yeah. Sports iconic album, it's one of Boomers favorites.
Yeah, so yeah, he's huey we're.
Going to try out Huey for a while? Is that cool with you? Huey? Yeah, that'll work. Okay, okay.
Good job, back to ice cream.
Yeah, it's the best, ice cream really is the best.
Rank your ice creams, and when I say ice, I mean ice cream, custard, gelato. I'm not sure ice cream. Include frozen frozen yogurt.
Frozen yogurt is frozen yogurt, I think.
Is, too, just because it's a specific, like time and place. Like frozen yogurt, a swirl towered fucking so high in a cone on a summer day with sprinkles on. It rocks. I'm going to go.
Gelato one, then I'm going to go um soft serve two, then ice cream. Oh, I I, I see what you're.
Saying frozen yogurt soft serve is what I'm really talking about. Yeah, soft serve.
Yeah.
I'm not talking about frozen yogurt, soft serve, frozen yogurt, it's it's manageable, anything.
That comes out of the machine. I just say frozen yogurt, which is stupid, but it's soft serve. Also, those places also have all the candy you want, so it's like, Yeah, you can, just you can make it, oh yeah.
I would say, 16 handles, yep, or, uh, the one here.
What forever yogurt? rubber yogurt? yep, so good. I would say. Frozen yogurt is the brock purdy of ice creams you can win with it.
Well, ideally, would you take it? Number one? Probably not, but you get all the great toppings on it and it becomes great, right? The key to frozen yogurt?
Is to trick yourself into being like, it's not as bad as ice cream, but then you put an entire candy bar on it. Yep, that's what you do, yep, and it's great.
Um, okay, anything else going on?
In sports or politics is good sports. We crush the politics. we might be the best politics, like, move over to the Johns. we're pretty good. we crush the politics.
You almost lost the South Sudan. Oh yeah, more politics. That was fine. Update from back here.
Huey has already changed his Twitter name to Huey. Oh, I love it, I fucking love it, I love that, yeah.
So we we scored with eight seconds left right to take. We were down by like 14 15 points in the first half. LeBron I, I'm convinced that Steve Kerr told the guys, like, Fuck this up, like, tank a little.
Bit. And then let's see if we can come back South Sudan. I lou lou all dang is basically like, put that like entire program, put it together, and they're, they're, they're scrappy, yeah.
They.
Got some decent players. Yeah, so, um, it's a wake up call. Stefan LeBron saved the day.
Steph hit that big three, Derek White, Derek White. Uh, that lobbed to Ant. I don't know what happened there, and that wasn't Derek White's fault, it was Ant's fault or not.
Sorry, sorry, not sorry. Ant Anthony Davis Um, but yeah.
Are we worried? Does this count against USA? Max, What did you see? Joel Embiid's quote? Oh, that was what my Monday reading was.
I love you, talk about it, I thought it was satire. Yeah, let's talk about it after.
Okay, um, cause it is you have one quote, I have another, you have the one about Lebron. Yeah, yeah.
I have another. We'll do that after Aaron Rogers, cause it is white. He did a New York Times profile. It's quite something.
Can't wait. I thought I was like, Oh, this is butt crack sports, it was quite something. Uh, okay, uh, let me see.
What else did I have on my list of?
Sports topics Uh, the Celtics gave another extension. Yeah, where the fuck are you guys getting all this money? They don't.
So they're selling the team, so the current ownership is like, Fuck, I'll give everybody a contract I'd never have to pay it. Good for your friend.
Christophe Porzingis Yeah, I mean, the wait. Who got the extension? Same house? Oh yeah.
But they have Porzingis, they have, they have everyone signed. They had the same house, made $45 million, and they the the penalty that they have to pay on. It's insane. Why not?
But who great ownership you, yeah, you want that like.
Go spend all the money, go for it again. You got the young guys like, locked up for a long time. Every ownership should look at this and be like, this. I mean, the Warriors kind of did that, remember when the Warriors just spent money like it was going out of business.
Why wouldn't you do that if you have?
The core of a championship team. Yeah, here's the thing. Money's not real, yeah.
Not to get Aaron Rodgers on you. But money only has value because we say it does. Yeah, 210 million tax penalty, that's that's a Biden ashtray money, that's a Biden.
Now Biden's out, who knows taxes might go down? That's fucking easy, I love it.
There's also some Oakland Athletics news.
Maybe you have you. What you should do is you'd have, you should have Zelinsky, buy the Celtics and then no money problems. Yeah, it's not bad, think about that, okay?
Yeah, what was?
The Oakland Athletics News I'm not smart enough to understand exactly what it is, but apparently there have been Oakland area investors like people, business leaders that have money that want to either invest in. Or try to purchase a lot of the, uh, the A's and keep them in Oakland. And Major League baseball has allegedly been telling them that they're not allowed to talk about their interests because they want the A's to move to Vegas. So badly, because it's going to, you know, mean increased value for every other M.L.B. team. Um, but apparently there are some people that want to kick money into the A's and keep it in Oakland. But for some reason, I don't know how the MLB is making them just shut up about it, but they're not allowed to talk about it.
Fuck John Fisher again. This is where we stand on this. I don't, I don't know, uh, how deep this goes. And how they're able to keep the people from being quiet about their their rumored interest. Um, but it just stinks to high heaven, yeah.
And I don't like it, it's bad, it's bad for sports.
Very bad. You see Jose can say go throughout the first pitch, Oh, how do you do? He actually did all right?
Okay, good, he flexed good, but yeah, this is, this is. this sounds suspect. it's very suspect.
Sounds very, very suspect. They keep, I see people keep posting, um, the temperature, like first pitch temperature, and it's crazy they're going to put in. Sacramento. I know that Vegas will be indoors, but Sacramento is not so like the other day.
It was like Oakland first pitch. Temperature 75 degrees. Sacramento 105, Vegas 119.
So I, I just looked it up right now.
Apparently, what's happening is the people that are rumored to have interest in investing in the A's and keeping them local. Major League baseball is saying, don't talk about it publicly. You're not allowed to say anything, because if you do, we're going to prevent you from investing in any other teams in the future. Oh, that's how they're making them shut up about it.
That's bullshit, so fuck John Fisher, fuck a man fraud. fuck man man, fraud's a dick.
That's bullshit.
Yeah, okay, um, the only other thing I had was, Uh, Lamar has diarrhea again, yeah.
Yep, that's how we know football is officially back. Yep, Lamar Jackson missed the first day of of, uh, of training camp, right, yeah.
He had to be sent home. Yeah, he, he, I guess, showed up at the facility and then they sent him home cause his butt hurt. Yeah, that's a classic first day of school move.
Yeah, I could imagine Hank missed a couple of first days. No, first days were fun.
You show up, first day's fun, the second day suck. yeah, show up, get your fit off.
First day with like, especially in college, where you just get your books, yeah, do a little couple icebreakers, yeah, then you never show up again.
Yeah, Syllabus Day also, they had the MLB uh uh Hall of Fame induction today. Didn't realize that great timing baseball.
Yeah, Jim Leland, I hope. When did he give a speech? Today? I think so.
Jim Leland, Todd Helton, Adrian Beltre, and.
Joe Maurer, Jim Leland, I. He should have been smoking a cigarette, I don't know if he was during.
His induction? But he should have been that. I don't know what, I guess now's the time. But why wouldn't you do it, like during All Star Break or something? I don't know. It was just I was listening to the Cubs game on the radio and they were like, Oh yeah, and the Jim Leland's going in.
Yeah, oh okay, cubs can't hit, cubs cannot hit at all. Hank, they had a walk off walk today.
I had my statistical model, had him at 0 chance of winning that game when showed I had a uh, no. Hitter. With like nine K's going through six innings and I was like, he gave a one home run, I was like, that's it, it's just statistical model at zero. They found a way.
No, they suck.
You went Saturday? Yeah, they can't hit. It's brutal to watch. I went Friday.
I also can confirm.
They can't hit. Yeah, no, they cannot hit at all. Boring baseball. You guys lost two out of three to the Pirates, sure.
But we won today.
Two out of three of the Pirates, one out of one. That's a big rivalry in the state of Pennsylvania. Uh, okay, let's do who's back of the week?
And then we will do our Mount Rushmore.
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Gets you in the mindset. Coors light the best. Okay, hank, my next best week is Conor McGregor. Oh yeah.
Jake Paul fought this weekend, I fought Mike Perry, I think that was supposed to be the Mike Tyson fight.
McGregor, I think, owns the boxing company that Mike Perry is the face of. Okay, and after the loss, he basically was, you know, disgusted by what he saw. He said, You're fired, Mike Perry.
And Mike Perry is a UFC fighter. Yep, we knew some people at home might not know.
Yeah, I didn't know, but then about Jake Paul, I said, Jake Paul is the biggest piss bag I've ever seen in my life. 40 pound weight difference. Juice out of his head, still shitting himself in there and just basically going after him for steroids. So is he going to wait? Conor McGregor was going after Jake Paul for steroids.
Yeah, interesting, okay, oh, by the way.
Last time we talked about Conor McGregor on this podcast, Robbie Fox reached out to me. He was very concerned that we thought that Conor McGregor might be done as a fighter. He wanted to clarify that he's not done as a fighter. Oh, okay, good.
Good, but this sounds like, I mean, as far as Conor McGregor taunts go, this is pretty low. It's not that bad, he said. A lot worse about a lot of other guys, yeah.
Maybe he's lost his fastball and chirping, yeah, cause he, I mean, he was.
Calling Habib a terrorist. Yeah, I swear to God, a fat can of bitch piss. Oh, that's good, most valuable piss bag.
And with the Irish accent that makes it up a notch. Fat was a fat bag of fat, can of bitch piss. fat can of bitch piss is pretty good. Conor is not done, Robbie said. Not done.
As long as he doesn't have any more movie premieres, as long as there's no movies that he. I saw that face. As long as you keep them away from ecstasy, he's good.
Oh, yeah, I saw the face.
Of the movie premiere.
Well, he didn't know where his face was. Uh, okay, that's good. Who's back you? Also? He also was going over a bridge.
That video is the funniest video I've ever seen. I don't know, I don't know what that was from. Yeah, he was just like going over some super high bridge and it was super cloudy, and he was just talking crazy.
That's the best Conor McGregor.
I'm going to defend him on that one. Driving over big bridges freaks me out, too, he goes.
He was walking over it and the guy just goes, the end of the bridge, the end of the bridge. No, I want Conor McGregor to be back. He's so electric. Um, I'd like him to fight. Our good, close personal friend Michael Chandler. I'll be rooting for Michael Chandler 100 or Michael Tyson.
Yeah, by the way, I think Beer Games has out today, they finally put the video out. Oh, enjoy, yeah.
Hopefully no spoilers. Okay, bft, uh, my, who's back in the week is?
TOM BRENNEMAN Dear close personal friend Tom Brenneman, he's back in a big way. He's going to be calling ACC Games on the CW. Yep.
So the CW? According to The Athletic, they have a money ball approach as it creates its sports division, and Tom Brenneman is an undervalued asset. Love that. So, yeah, this is good. He should actually given his background, he should probably call live golf events.
Yeah, I feel like the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia would love to have him on board. Yeah, CW is where we had our bowl game, yeah.
So the CW president, whose name is, by the way, Dennis Miller, is kind of crazy. Uh, he hired him because he's taken full responsibility for his actions. I think he spent the last couple of years just talking to gay.
People he did do, I did see him doing like a bunch of speeches in front of people, so.
Maybe that's what it was. Yeah, he's been apparently like hanging out at, like, local gay alliance meetings, just talking to people for the last three years, that would actually be.
Awesome if in the broadcast booth, he just had a big sign. That like, number of days since I've, since I've used, I've used this word, or if he just came out. But it'd be great if it was like, number of days since I use this word. And he does the whole season. And then all of a sudden it's like a Duke game in the middle of November and it's at zero and we're like, what happened?
Something happened, yeah. Or just only cause liberty, universities, games. Yeah, that'd be good.
Too, all right, so Tom Brenneman's back, uh, my, who's back? The week? I have two.
Well, uh, Huey, do you have the WNBA All-star game? Okay, all right, you do, all right.
So I'll do my other one. Uh, my, who's back? The week is clearing your search history. Because, uh, the attempted assassination of Donald Trump by Thomas Matthew Crooks. They basically went online, uh, they tried to search through all this stuff, and his last search was porn. Oh so, you just, I don't know, just use the private browser. Because any day that you could go, someone could be like, Hey, what was?
The last thing they looked up, Yeah, so what, what kind of porn was it? I think it was the only fans. Cause you would have to think that he would like, if you think it's going to be your last one.
Make it a good one. It was, it was the only fans I believe. But yeah, that's, um, just a just a reminder to everyone out there that you know, you could go at any moment. This one he went because he was trying to kill a former president. But, uh, yeah, clear that, clear that browser history. Use the private browser. Because you don't want to be like, Hey, this guy died. And he was looking, he was jerking off a couple hours before he went.
If you die, I will, I will clear your browser history. Yeah, I'll make sure. thank you, I will.
Too, Thanks Hank. Clear your browser. Would you like us to clear yours? I don't really care.
Okay, let the people know. Yeah, once you're, would you like? Once you're dead, you're dead. Would you like Max to stay signed into your Snapchat?
Sure, my tick tock, tick tock. sorry tick tock.
Tick tock, tick tock. Yeah, okay, that'd be nice. Uh, big T is signed into my my tick tock right now.
I think he's posted a few things on there, so now I get notifications on my phone that constantly every day. It says. A real Donald Trump Jr. has just posted someone that you've interacted with before, that's nice, nice.
I like that nice, um, all right, last.
Who's back Huey? Uh, the WNBA? Yes, yes.
I mean, what a game last night, that was awesome. Well, explain to maybe some people who didn't watch it. I don't know who wouldn't, uh, not me.
I watched it. We we had, uh, so for the the All-star game format, this year, we had a team WNBA first thing, Team USA. Oh, that's awesome. So, yeah, a lot of, uh, Caitlin Clark, Angel Reese got to play against Team USA.
Uh, kind of, you know, a little little revenge, kind of let them know. They win a team WNBA one by eight points, and really, it was. It should have been for the chance to go swap teams, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, it really, what is? It? Actually? Got closer towards the end. The WNBA was kind of in charge of that game for the most part. Um, Team USA got a little closer, but um, it was impressive.
The rookies did great here. I got two questions Who won the Uh, three point contest? It was the same girl.
The same girl won the three point contest and the skills contest. Who was shout out to Mrs Gray?
Mrs Gray Okay, and then who?
Like a teacher, my second question is who won the slam dunk contest? There was none, okay, so.
That's the kicker who balled, that is the kicker who balled out for the team WNBA. So, uh, so, let's get in. I know the answer, and so we have didn't say the name.
Okay, that's the first name, yep, and the last name. Give me a couple more minutes.
Uh, oh boy, um, do I have to? Yeah, you got it, come on, you got it.
Uh.
I, I do one, but not art. Okay, I go, but not I go. I go. Oh boy, yeah.
I go, but Wally, yep, okay, you got it, you named, you nailed it halfway there.
Yeah, I can blow up, I can belong. Yeah, it's. it's a it's a doozy.
All right, but would that be a goon? But wally, Arike? a goon? but wally, I think it's Erica, right? Nope, that, that one.
I know her brother, she, her brother. Uh, plays the Texans badger. Yeah, yeah.
Uh, she played 34.
6 assists, a six or seven from the free throw line only, not eight from 13 from three. And she should have been on the team, very much, should have been she. I. She was actually like, Caitlin Clark, was the one that everyone was saying, Oh, she got, why not put her on the team?
Arika should have been on the team. Yeah, she's, she's better than players on that team I saw.
Caitlin Clark She got picked up full court by, uh, by Kelsey Plum, right, yes, yeah, face guard, and still got past her and threw a diamond team.
You say, like, took it personally, it felt.
Like, a little bit more than they probably should have taken it more personally because they lost, yeah, and Angel Reese had five offensive rebounds. Uh, I mean, she was a beast on the paint wait.
So this means even when they, if they win the Olympic gold, they're not the best team.
Asterisks they literally lost now, isn't? isn't this the plot of like mighty ducks, too? Yeah, where they become the U S national.
Yeah, they should let them be the U S national, I agree.
Yeah, okay, thank you Huey, good job.
Um, okay, should we do our Mount Rushmore and then get to Aaron Rogers? Let's do it.
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Download the Game Time app today. Last minute tickets Lowest price guaranteed with Game Time. Okay, Mount Rushmore of animals you'd like to be. So what is the standing?
Hank coming off his big, not fourth place. Congrats again, Hank. Thank you. That was huge.
Appreciate it.
Nothing but success.
Terrible job, terrible job.
Yeah, you did.
Brutal. So what are the standings? Do we have them?
Uh, Max. And first 26, Big Cat, second 25, Pft, third 22, and Hank 17..
Okay, and who goes first, that'd be Max, and then who goes second?
Me Pft.
And then who goes third? You? Okay, it's good that we know the order.
I the order confusing me every time.
We get lost in the snake.
Very stupid, I understand, Circle. I'm saying, I always think when I go fourth, I'm going first the next time, but it's going fourth to third, to second, to first. I don't know, I'm stupid.
Okay.
Mount Rushmore of animals you'd like to be no pander picks.
I don't even know if I couldn't even think of what a Pander pick would be.
Well, I could think of one for you.
Oh, no, I'm not going to pick it. Um, I can't I. They have to be real animals.
How are we? What?
I want to pick Dragon. I was watching House of Dragon as we as this was sent, and I was just thinking, the whole time I was sick, it would be to be a dragon.
I think it has to be a real animal. Yeah, Komodo dragon. Yeah, you could be a Komodo dragon.
I don't even think that a.
Dragon Breathing Drag I don't think that a dragon would be that cool. What we're talking about, terrible now. That makes you want to let it go.
No, no, no, hear me out. What's? What's the mortality rate of dragons in game? I don't care you got. They all get their throats bit open.
You're a massive, just fireball breathing beast that everyone figures live for like a hundred, like 300 years. But then you've got this like, what about the one in the frozen?
Lake, You've got like an incest guy, with an eye patch riding you around, rubbing his incest balls.
All over you. I think it'd be pretty, it would be awesome to be a dragon, it'd be sick. Tough take, but also not a real animal, not a real animal.
Okay, so let's.
But that would be a great pick. Yeah, you don't get any downtime if you're a dragon.
Yes, you do, yeah, you do. You get so much downtime.
Chilling your cave when you're locked in your prison and you're just pissed off the whole time.
I mean, there's Dragons before that, Before that happened, Dragons lived free.
They were just going around. A free dragon would be awesome.
Doom of Valeria Okay, your pick?
Okay, my pick will be bald eagle, good pick. Add it on there, you can fly and everyone in America just loves you.
Yeah, what about when your team loses the Superbowl?
Next pick Okay, I'm going to go. This is my 1-1. Miss Peaches I think Miss Peaches would be a great animal to be.
You just get all the most expensive shit bought for you. You just love Dave, huh? Very, very little oversight. You can destroy anything, not get in trouble for it.
Miss Peaches has her own bed. No, she sleeps in Dave's bed, because that's her decision. You want to sleep with Dave? That's her decision.
You're anti-miss peaches? Dave was right, No, I like miss peaches.
No, Dave was right. I thought that pick and then I thought it out and it was like, Eh, the one thing with being miss peaches is.
Those dresses he puts Miss Peaches in don't look comfortable. Miss Peaches has an awesome A-plus life. The galas seem a little difficult.
Yeah, you wear a dress once every 30 days. It's not that much different from my 2018 to 2020..
That's true, that is true. Okay, yeah, you want to sleep in Dave's bed? I want tummy tacks.
I didn't know we were doing specific animals. Yeah, I was doing breeds. We said. You asked before we started, right? can we do specific animals? I wanted to be a dragon, not an animal.
Okay, which season?
What?
All right, I'll just pick my one one. I would love to be just a great white shark and just fuck everything up and just be swimming so fast. And just everyone's scared of you and you get so big and you're just an apex predator, and it's awesome.
Top of the food chain is pretty nice. Sick, you don't get to really sleep at all, though sleep is death.
Yeah, but you don't have to sleep, you have to keep moving.
That's awesome, yeah, not having to sleep is awesome. Maybe that's why they're so grumpy all the time, are they?
I think so.
I haven't talked to a great white shark in a while.
We should have one on the pod. Yeah, Greg Norman, Okay.
I'm going to come on, Hank, let's go.
I was going, Wait, you're in last place. I'm just trying to pump you up. That was crazy. I'm trying to pump you up, I'm going to go-.
No, I was saying, like, let's go, you got this.
Hank, hank, hank, hank, hank, hank, hank. You were such a sour puss on Friday. You know what we're doing right now, we're doing the Trey Turner, it's a hank.
He's in a slump. Come on, Hank, let's go, come on, Hank, you got this.
I'm going to go, I won't do this, I won't do this to you. Hank, you got this, Hank, I know you can do it. He heard the click.
I've seen you do it before, okay?
I'm going to go Panther. Coolest looking animal, I think, King of the jungle. it's the lion, I know, but it's cooler than a lion.
It should be king, yeah, and I will go with a blue whale, all right, biggest animal I knew you were going to go whale.
Had to go whale, had to go whale. Smartest animals, biggest animals.
No one's hunting you, you just get to cruise around, breach, talk to your other whale friends. It's good, it's a good pick, it's a really good pick.
Do you think blue whales are the smartest animal?
I'm pretty sure they're up there, right? Yeah, are they? They are up there? I think dolphins might be smarter, but whales are pretty fucking smart.
Man, there's some really good animals on this list.
I don't know what I want to do now.
You know what I'll stick with, just being apex predators, I will go with lion, I want to be a lion.
Those things fucking rock. They just hang out, okay, they eat whatever they want, yeah.
They just hang out all day, they look cool, sleep. I mean, it's like a cat's life is cool, but it's a cat.
But a lion is like, That's a badass cat.
If you're a male lion, you don't even have to work. Yeah, you just hang out, the ladies go out there, they hunt.
They bring your food back for you every day. Is steak at a blow job day?
And you got your family hangs out with you.
As long as you don't have a shithead brother that tries to kill you, you're good.
Okay.
Okay, I'm going to go with Racehorse. I've talked about it on the show before.
What?
We're wincing now.
Kentucky Derby winning Racehorse is my official pick. Because you're done working, you just get to have sex for hundreds of thousands of dollars. Every time you bone. They put you out in a pasture, you don't get that money and you just hang out.
But that's your job.
Racehorses have not been doing well recently.
The Kentucky Derby winning ones.
Yeah, I think one of them, which one died?
Are you taking us back to Barbaro?
No, there's been some bad things that have been happening to racehorses that I would, I like racehorses.
It would be cool to be a racehorse. It feels like that's, if we're talking, like, life expectancy, all that stuff. It's been a little hit or miss.
You got it on your sword, at least, but I'm saying specifically, been a little hit or miss. Kentucky Derby winning Racehorse is my pick.
Okay, they've got a good track record.
Okay.
I'm going to go with a cheetah.
Oh.
Because I'm slow and it would be fun to be fast.
That would be fun.
It would be fun to be fast. And I'm going to go off of the specific animal that PFT has started here, and I'm going to go with Ugga.
Oh, okay, good one. It's a good pick, that's a great pick.
Although we're going to talk life expectancy.
But they're treated like kings everywhere, each one, and everyone in Georgia absolutely loves you. It would be great to be Ugga, not the current Ugga, but the last Ugga before this one.
I forget what number, it was, Roman numeral, that was the goat ugga, that ugga had it together, yeah.
Okay, all right, good picks.
I'm going to get specific again, in the same vein as Max. College mascot Mike the Tiger, Mike the Tiger's got a good life.
Living in captivity.
Have you seen his pen? His pen rocks, his pen is like the size of the Pentagon.
It's not that big.
It's very cool, though, it's very cool, plus you get to live in Louisiana, you get to go roar in a stadium sometimes.
Okay.
Pretty cool, yeah.
No, he does have a pretty big pen.
Mike, the Tiger's got a good life.
Gets that meat when they play a different team.
And they put the logo out.
Yeah, that's a cool, that's a good pick.
The meat's in the shape of the logo and then you eat it all right.
I'm going to go a little, I'm going to go off my list because we're getting a little, we're going specifics and everything, yeah.
Patrick Mahomes.
I would like to be Patrick Mahomes. What are you talking about? He's an animal.
Does that count as an animal? No.
Are humans not animals? No, PFT, are humans, animals.
Did titties make the list for meat?
Are humans animals? No, yes, they are. What are you talking about? Scientifically? they are.
They literally are animals. Pft, you know that?
A human is an animal. Yes, big cat wants to get cute with it, he can get cute with it. I should get dragons.
What?
An animal?
We just said, Humans are it.
I agree with that. If Big Cat gets the Kentucky Derby horse, I want to be Patrick Mahomes.
You can say Kentucky Derby winning horse because that's a commonly accepted animal.
Are humans animals? they are animals?
Technically, they are.
How am I? What am I doing wrong? Then? Humans are animals.
I guess they are literally animals.
I think we let, we are animals, I think we let the voters decide.
What do you mean? You guys have to decide. Memes is the one who actually has to decide. Well, I think you guys have to vote. And then if it's 2-2, then I decide, Oh well, I have no chance.
I think it's-.
No, I mean, technically they're animals. I'm not going to. I don't think you knew that until right now. No, that's true, but I'm looking it up now. It's valid.
Yeah, they are animals. It may be against the spirit of the competition, but that's fine, if you want to like that. They're animals. Technically, humans are animals.
They are.
And we said, you want to be any animal. If you could pick any animal to be, Patrick Mahomes would be a pretty fucking sick animal to be.
You could have been a bear.
I could have been a bear. I want to be Patrick Mahomes, he's got three Super Bowls and probably a lot more coming.
No, Patrick Mahomes could have been a bear, too.
Yeah, he could have.
Almost.
All right, you guys, let me keep it, or no?
Yeah, I'll let you keep it, I say I'll allow it and we'll see what the voters say.
Okay.
I will go, wait, that's not your, it's not your. Oh, it is your pick two, yeah.
In a row, I got lost again.
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