Joey Chestnut, NBA Free Agency, Mt Rushmore Of MLB Names + Our Dingers Only Baseball Draft

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On today's part, in my take, we have maybe the best slash worst show we've ever done. We have our baseball draft, we've been teasing it for a while. We're going to do a regular show to start, so we're going to talk some. N.B.A. free agency Ricky Fowler, who's back in the week, some more current events. And then we have Joey Chestnut getting ready for the 4th of July. The Greatest Athlete ever created and Mount Rushmore baseball names, and then we go to our baseball draft, where, yeah, it's two hours of dudes just naming names. I love this baseball fantasy baseball league that we've created.

It's called dingers. Only. It's going to be fucking awesome. Do we have Merch? We should have Merch? Maybe we forgot Merch?

We're going to get Merch for the Dingers only league. But it's going to be an interesting show, it's going to be a different show. I'm excited for everyone to listen to it. Part of my take is sponsored by ADT. ADT knows a lot can happen in a second.

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Boy.

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Welcome to part of my take. Today is Monday, July 3rd and PFT. We should have been N.B.A. players because, holy shit, they're getting paid and it is awesome. Yeah, it really is like some of the names that are getting these huge, huge deals. It just you scratch your head, but then you're like, Oh yeah, they actually have to spend that money. I don't want to call Michael Malone a liar when he said that we're running this shit back with Bruce Brown.

I think he said at the parade, like, Damn right, Bruce is coming back, we're running this shit back. Anything you say at a Championship parade should be. That's like, that's client-patient confidentiality. You can't hold that against anybody. You're drunk at a parade, you're gonna say what you want. And yeah, good for him.

I think he got like $40 million and the Nuggets could only offer him like $8 million a year. So they tried to keep a big cat, they tried to keep Bruce Brown. I mean, we said this right after they won the title, because, remember, Bruce Brown was the one who said it. And we're like, you know, when the worst time to negotiate a new deal is? Is like, seconds after you win a title with your boys and you're drenched in champagne. Because Bruce Brown, the night he won a title, said, I want to stay. It's a perfect fit. And money is not everything, the money will come, so I'm not worried about that right now. I don't hold that against him whatsoever, because $45 million is a lot more money than $8 million a year. Yeah, yeah, no, he said. All the right things. But at the end of the day, when you're looking at $45 million next to $16 million, you'd have to be a fucking moron not to take the 45. So congratulations to him. The biggest loser in free agency is Jeremy Grant.

Jeremy Grant got $150 million to return to the Trailblazers. Now, on paper, you're like, Wow, that's a great deal. But the contract was the straw that broke the camel's back for Dame. He was like, This is, this is what we're doing in free agency, we're resigning. Jeremy Grant Yeah, fuck you guys, I'm out.

And now Dame Willard is in a So. I said I was going to do it, and I did it right away. I was like, Dame, no loyalty left in the N.BA, like, can't believe he would do this. People reacted accordingly, very upset at me, but the interesting thing with Dame right now is he wants to go to the heat. And the heat don't have the best offer. And now you have, like blazers and heat fans arguing online, where heat fans can basically be like, Well, no, we want him and he's going to be ours. And there's nothing you can do about it. And the blazers being like, Wait, we can't get any free agents no matter what. So we have to get like a ton of draft picks. And that will just be a showdown for the next month. It feels like like, can the Blazers actually get a good deal, or do they just have to be like? The theory that the Blazers should treat Dame correctly so that they could get future free agents is the dumbest theory in the world. They're not going to get future free agents. They should get whatever they can get because as good as Dame was for them, he's the best blazer of all time. Incredibly loyal, seems like a great dude. You can't just be like, Oh, because you were a great dude. We'll just take Tyler Hero and call it even. Yeah, those are my favorite people online, the ones who are like, Well, why would anybody ever sign with Portland? After watching what they're going to do to Dame if they don't send him to the place that he wants?

That's a good point, it's a great point, and we'll file that away in the future. When they don't get good free agents, it's because of how they treated Dame. And it has nothing to do with the franchise, nothing to do with the fact that people don't want to play in Portland. It's just straight up how they're going to treat Dame. They really have no leverage, like Dame doesn't really have any leverage in this situation. He's just saying, I would like to play for the heat. Can we just make that happen? And I guess he has done a lot for that organization. And so they might just try to do him a solid and be like, Okay, here we go. But if you're a GM, your job is not to treat players that have requested trades away from you as good as possible. Your job is to try to win basketball games in the future. And if that's going to be to the heat, whatever, maybe they'll trade him. Yeah, I don't know, maybe they'll trade him somewhere else, and then maybe it's a three-way trade. And not only that, it's not even shitting on Portland because I think outside of like four or five franchises in the N.BA, there's not a lot of franchises that are like destinations for free agents. That's just how the league works. It's not like there's a lot of cities in the N.B.A. that guys aren't being like lining up to go to.

I mean, I fell for it. When I thought LeBron and D. Wade were going to go to Chicago, it's like, Well, that was fucking stupid, but yeah, the Blazers should do whatever's best for them. I have another biggest loser for you PFt. It's Kyrie Irving haters, because Kyrie Irving, who has played sparingly for the better half of. Like, what three or four years going now, got paid three years $127 million to stay with the Mavericks. I don't think they were bidding against anyone except Luka Doncic's happiness, like, I think it was just. We have to sign him because we traded for him and we have to do it now. Otherwise we're not going to get another star and Luka might leave. So the Kyrie Irving haters probably have to eat one here. Because he got a lot of money for not playing a lot the last few years.

And I think Kyrie's leverage was that he was going to take a visit to Phoenix. He wanted to drive to Phoenix to play for $2 million. Yeah, he wanted to get on an RV and go to a sweat lodge or have some peyote or something like that. Go on a vision quest out in Phoenix. And that was enough to make Mark Cuban swear and be like, we can't have him leave the state, we gotta keep him locked down. So, yeah, he got paid a shitload of money. FreD Van Vliet Good for Fred van Vliet.

Houston doing something Houston did a lot of things in free agency and they did the most with Van Vliet. I forget how much money they're paying him. It was about $200 million, somewhere in that vicinity, three for $128 million.

Three for $128 million. He's a culture setter, they're paying for the culture, they're paying for the culture. So he's getting, like, super Max money, but he's not getting five years, so he's gonna have another bite of the apple soon, but good for him. I don't really understand it because they just drafted a point guard.

Culture? Yeah, so it's like paying $123 million for Udonis Haslam if he was actually good. Yeah, no, it's an adult. You're basically getting an adult in the room to be like, Hey, this guy actually knows how to be a pro. We have a very young, talented team, we'll pay him a lot of money to. Hopefully, you know, some of that young championship caliber he won a title in Toronto. Rub off on everyone.

I like that. Yeah, he's just a role model. They bought a role model in free agency for what's it? EAmON ThOmpSoN Yeah.

So he's gonna, Yeah. I mean, it's a good fit, especially if you look at, like, Van Vliet and the money that he was making in Toronto. I don't know what. State income tax is in Canada, probably pretty high. He is going to be rich as fuck in Houston, so good for him.

Yeah, these deals are awesome, they obviously the meme goes around where you know they have. Like, Chris Middleton signed for three years $102 million and Michael Jordan made like $93 million in his career. Which it actually. If you take out the last two years with the Bulls, Michael Jordan in the other, like 14 years of his career, made $30 million. So I love those memes. I actually think we should go one further.

I think Tyrese Halliburton and Lomelo both signed Super Maxes. So it's five years, up to $260 million, so you're gonna get paid like $50 million a year. Dan Marino's career earnings was $51.5 million, John Elway's was $45 million. Now it's obviously different sport, different era, everything, but I think just for memes, memes, you're on this right now. We need to just find, like, Babe Ruth's career earnings and be like, Look at this, Karis Levert is making like, 16 times what Babe Ruth made his entire career.

Yeah, just for the retweets. Yeah, I like that, or like, compare them to, like people in the military or teachers, yeah.

Like, the average teacher makes $37,000 a year. But Karis Levert is gonna be set, his grandkids, grandkids are gonna be set for life. It's basically the it's basically whenever someone does a tweet like, 35 years ago, Die Hard came out in theaters. Wow, mm-hmm.

Yeah, time. yes, time is time keeps going, money keeps going up.

Time goes differently. It's just a bunch of those memes back and forth about how much money these guys are making. It is cool, They're making so much money like all. It's good for them and I love it.

And it is awesome to see like some of these contracts come down. And you're just like, Holy fuck, this guy's getting what? and fuck it. I mean, who? Uh, Dante Divincenzo just got what? Four years, 50 million for the Knicks? Mm-hmm. Like, why not?

Why not? I think I think it. I think the moment that I realized that like to be upset about any of this is so stupid was when Tony Snell a few years ago got paid like $44 million. Over like three years or four years to be with the Bucs and it was like, Cool, fuck it, you can't, you can't get mad about that. What are you going to do? Like, demand that the Milwaukee Bucs sign a bunch of teachers and firefighters?

No, you, you just got to get your game up. Like we should have been basketball players, just going back to the beginning, we should have, like, if, if, if anything, this is a lesson to everyone out there listening, like, get your game up, uh, don't be a podcaster like us, be an N.B.A. player like that.

Yeah, people who are like, how come, how come the N.F.L. players don't get this much money unless you're like a quarterback? Well, cause there's more points in basketball, so you get paid by the points. It's pretty simple math, guys, and punt, pass and kick is very expensive on the bottom line for N.FL franchises.

Putting that on has to be a headache. Yeah, uh, but yeah, shout out to all the players that just got rich as fuck today. That's good, good for them.

We also should mention, uh, James Harden, I think this is three trade requests in four years. So he opted in with the Sixers, which actually is a good move for the Sixers, cause they can get something for him. I think James Harden did it because he's like, I don't like anyone who has salary cap. Money is probably not going to be good.

So I'd rather opt in and then trade and be able to play for a team that's good. Uh, he wants to go to the Clippers, which would be the funniest place for him to go. I don't. I can't imagine. Like, if they added Kyrie, that would be the perfect all like, least dependable team, maybe Ben Simmons as well as Kyrie Paul George.

But I think we said, I don't know if we were, I think we were off there, uh, when we were talking about it. PFT. But like the Clippers have become like the greatest, uh, legacy changing thing for Paul George, he's becoming. If. If James Harden goes to the Clippers, Paul George is easily like the the most likable and most dependable player they have. Yeah, yeah, it's cause it would have, they would have Westbrook.

They would have, uh, then this case, who is dependable? who is dependable, but not maybe not likable? It's dependable. You know exactly what you're getting like, I think he's getting like $3 million a year for the Clippers, like he's getting paid nothing.

Um, and then obviously you've got Kawhi, who I don't think is, is Kawhi a basketball player? Sometimes, sometimes he's not unlikable, he's just not dependable, just weirdos.

They've just got like a bunch of weirdos on the Clippers, which is that's exactly how I like my Clippers. I don't like my Clippers. To be feisty and to be like the team that has expectations on them, so the Clippers should always be just very, very strange basketball players grouped into. Almost like you put a bunch of different animals inside a mason jar and you'd make them get along well. It's also perfect because, uh, they're opening up a new arena.

So they're like, well, we need guys to be able to sell seats in this new arena, and that's essentially what they're doing. They're just collecting as many guys as they can. It doesn't make sense basketball wise, but they're like, look at all the names we have come by, season tickets.

MM Hmm, yeah, I like that strategy, it's a it's a good strategy for them. Uh, who else?

Who are? who are the other big winners? Uh, oh, Draymond Lakers, the Warriors shout out the Lakers, the Lakers keeping their young guys together. Yeah, Rui Austin Reeves, Uh, they got Gabe Vincent as well.

I actually think the Lakers, like, have a pretty damn good team. Um, it is funny how we immediately forget about the team that just won the title. Everyone's like, look at, you know, Eric Gordon went to. The Suns. Suns are filling out their roster and look at the Lakers, like, Well, yeah, the Nuggets are still the best. Let's, let's, let's, let's pump the brakes until we'll, you know, we start playing ball and we see that they're like, drastically different, which I don't think they will be. Um, but yeah, the the Lakers, uh, I'm trying to think, oh yeah, the Warriors getting Draymond Green.

I like that just cause Draymond Green being in a different uniform would have sucked, like if he was on the Mavericks, it would have sucked, it would. It's going to be weird, though. How long was his contract? his contracts?

Four years, a hundred mil, yeah, so the last two years of that contract. He's he's not going to be good at all, but I mean, I, I feel like he's. He's not good offensively already. Like he's just going to keep doing like being Draymond Green and making it all work defensively.

And they're like, I like teams, even though if it makes no sense, they're like, we're going to keep it all together. We're going to try to eke out one more. And what's the worst that happens? Like all of them age poorly and we have like a sick, you know, like retirement night, all of them together. I think there's not really many other options.

I think it's going to be cool to have Draymond around once. Chris Paul starts getting a little too chippy once he tries to take, like, too much of that leadership role. Yeah, it's going to be. Someone's getting hit in the face, someone's getting hit in the dick.

Yeah, so um, Max or Hank, cause you guys kind of share teams. Uh, James Harden. Do you want him to stay on the Sixers? I don't think I think he's going to start the season on the Sixers. I think it's going to be a Kevin Durant kind of situation where he might get traded later in the season. But I don't think anyone's going to offer what Darryl Morey wants for this year for the Sixers thoughts.

That's exactly what I was going to say. I said it first, I was going to say that too. PFT. Were you going to say that? yeah?

I was just going to say that, like James Harden, he might just have to eat his way out of town. That's really the only that's. That's the last shot that he has left in his bag right now. Just get fat again. Which, by the way, that was the ultimate, that was, that was the funniest trade move of all time, like, Oh, you're not going to trade me.

Well, I'm, I have it in my power to get fat over the span of two weeks. Yes, yeah, morbidly obese, yeah.

And Pat Bev, also on the team, was huge for for our guy Roan. Uh, who's a Sixers fan having Pat Bev be on his favorite team and doing a podcast with him. But Max, do you want James Harden to play the entire season with the Philadelphia 76ers? From the reports of the guys that we would get back, I would rather have James Harden. Like, Okay, I don't, I don't need, I don't need Norman Powell instead of James Harden. If you're thinking logistically of, like, trying to have a winning basketball team, um, I don't think that it's going to stick.

I think eventually more he's going to get something out of it. But I think it's going to probably be in by, like, around Christmas time. Okay, yeah, I feel like that's that it's going to. They're just going to have to. Darryl Morey doesn't feel like a guy who's just going to trade someone just because he wants to be traded. No.

I don't like that James Harden wants to leave us. Like, if you, you would think that if you're a good team that has a chance to win a championship, you'd want to stay right. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, you guys, this is your window, right? That's not making, that's not adding up to me. It's a great point. I love this city and I just want like, I don't. I don't understand why someone would want to leave it. Do you think, do you think he has less faith in the team than you do as a fan?

I just think getting the opportunity to play with the MVP like, that's you don't get that opportunity every now, every every year. So why would you be running, literally running from it as fast as you can? Hey, don't you? don't you want guys that want to be there? Yeah, definitely.

How are you feeling, Max? It ain't no fun when they're running without the gun. No, no, I agree. I agree. I mean, I'm happy that I have another Sixers fan in here to, you know, just do do some discourse on on my, on my sixers.

Uh, okay, what else? Derrick Rose? He's returning to Memphis. That that tells me that Jerry Reinsdorf has really lost his fastball.

Not the fact that he can't field competitive teams in both sports that he owns, but, uh, the fact that he wasn't. Like, let's just bring Derrick Rose back just to fill the United center, cause that felt like that was that was going to be the move. But yeah, I like, I like him. Oh, and we forgot Dylan Brooks, Dylan Brooks, yeah.

Hope you, yeah, hope you, hope you have fun learning Chinese buddy. Turns out, uh, four years, 80 million for the Rockets is a little different than going going abroad. I mean, I liked that for the Rockets, too. You got Fred van Vliet to basically be the adult in the room and Dylan Brooks to be like the past.

Yeah, Dylan Brooks, there's no chance that he's as bad as we all remember him as being in in that last series. He's bad, he's a good defender, he's not, he's not bad.

He's just, he's just a dumb ass, and you can, you can, hopefully. Yeah, he's. He's not dumb by his nature. He's not bad at basketball by by like as a person, but he's just he's just stupid. And so you can fix stupid sometimes, yeah, and you also. Every single team needs one like a rationally confident, stupid guy who thinks that they can stop LeBron in a seven game series.

That's not a bad thing to happen. Hell, like, you want one of those guys, you don't want a whole team of those guys, but you need one of those guys who thinks they're the best player in the world. And can, you know, go toe to toe with people for a game or two? Yeah.

The the big John Thompson quote You did you. You can win a chip with two of those guys, if you have five of them, they'll get you fired. Yeah, exactly exactly. Um, okay.

Any other N.B.A. stuff was fun free agency, fun time contracts everywhere I grade free agency. Overall, I give it a B minus this year. Well, it's, you know, what it is is like. I was thinking about it because I was like, God, damn it.

I wish the N.B.A. did free agency, not on a holiday weekend, when, like, you know, there's a lot of sports all year round. And like, this is the one stretch we can just bank on. Being like, not a lot going on. But it's actually smart for them because there's nothing going on. And the NBA can just have free agency for a couple of days. And everyone freak out and then forget about who got signed, uh, until, like, Christmas Day. Yeah, I just I wish that Kyrie had gone somewhere else. That would have turned this from a B minus into like an A minus, because that would add a little extra drama to. There were too many guys re-signing with their own teams for my liking. I like, I like the this league drama that goes along with it.

I don't care that Cal Kuzma is coming back for a hundred mil. Yeah, this league, big time, this league. Um, okay. Other news Ricky Fowler's back.

Officially, no one watched it, people watched it on their phone. CBS I do not understand what happened. They basically they. they had a weather, uh, inclement weather coming in Detroit.

So the rocket mortgage tournament? They started everyone at like eight in the morning and the coverage didn't begin till three o'clock, so everyone had to. Just like, I don't know about you guys, but I just scrambled. I was watching, I watched a couple of things on ESPN Plus and then I was like, Wait, is it on NBC? Cause it was on the Golf channel? And then finally, I figured out it was on CBS. UH, Sports app. For like, the last, like three holes of the tournament.

And then the overtime, just a complete disaster of live rights. I don't understand how it happens. Well, it happened because it was in the script that Max Homo was going to get a hole in one. And we still don't really have video evidence of it because we didn't see it on a big screen, we only saw it on a phone.

It was grainy footage that was uploaded, so we don't know Jake, I don't know if you have any comment on that. It looked like Max faked his hole in one to that. Yeah, I mean, you saw him celebrate very, uh, calm celebration.

He acts like he was there before, but I guess he didn't see the ball go in the hole, so I guess it's an open case. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, he's, he said. He's hadn't seen either of his hole in ones on tour. It's it's good to have Ricky back, Ricky's been awesome for like the last month.

He's just like he's the most likable guy. You can't root against Ricky Fowler. It also, I didn't realize, like the full story, that he rehired his swing coach. I think, um, is how like he. Basically someone likened it to, like, getting back with the next wife and being like, Sorry, I was the one who fucked everything up like it. It takes a lot of like, swallowing pride to rehire your coach.

And he went through some dark times. It was like, Uh, was it 1600 days or something? It was a long, long stretch that he hadn't won. I think it was 2019 was the last time he won. So yeah, it's he's going to be in the Ryder Cup.

He looked awesome, it was good that he finished one, the fact that he finished one too, with that tee shot on on. Uh, the second time they played 18, I thought he was fucked. And yeah, it's Ricky's, he's great for golf stamped.

Great for golf, yeah, recurring guest a part of my take. People forget that Ricky, we got to have Ricky back on.

I can't wait if we win the Ryder Cup. I can't wait for him to remake. That picture where everybody's making out with their wives or girlfriends afterwards, and Ricky's just in the middle of just smiling, like, I don't have a face to kiss right now. Um, I need, I need him with, uh, Alison Stoke, right?

That's his wife. Yeah, I need Olympian, yeah, full on, just tongue wrestling.

Yes, yes, yes, Ricky's got a kid now.

That's out, listen, that's a wow. We all age so fast, Ricky's got a kid. Well, he was, he was, he was a guy with no girlfriend.

Last time we saw him in the Ryder Cup, yeah, that was awesome. It was awesome to see Ricky back. Uh, congrats to him.

Any other sports news, I don't. I don't think so. It's about a baseball draft. we have a baseball draft, we have a baseball draft.

I'm very excited about that. We were drinking coors lights because it was on Hank's birthday, so we cracked open some forties and, uh, and just said a bunch of dudes names. And at one point, I think Billy had, like, uh, five minutes to make a pick and then it circled back to him and he needed another three minutes to make his pick. After that, yeah.

Um, but we have been keeping track of the scores in our in our league over the last month or so since we did the draft. We should say, though, because the original scoring format has changed a little bit. So it was originally going to be a Dingers only. So you get one point per home run and then you had one guy. And his designated spot was only getting hit by pitches, so that was going to be worth 10 every time he got hit by a pitch.

We quickly realized that that scoring system makes no sense whatsoever because it's just basically a one man team. Where if you have the guy that gets hit by the most pitches, you automatically win the league. Because they're so overvalued. So we made an adjustment on the fly and we reduced it to five points per hit by pitch. Jake was not happy about it, but Hank suggested it. We all agreed that it was the right call to make for the spirit of fairness and competition. So Jake thinks that Hank has out to get him.

And was I, Jake? I guess I'll let you state your case here, but I think you have to acknowledge that. It would be unfair. Just to have your hit by pitch guy be the only player that counts on your roster. We should just make hit by pitch one point next year it should. It's Dingers only, that's the name of the league, Dingers only.

JAKE Yeah, no, it's whose idea was 10 points in the first place. I just wanted to have a hit by pitch guy on the roster. Interesting how?

First place or second place? And we changed it after the league had begun. That's all I said. That is interesting, yeah, but it was usually everyone gets five.

Fantasy football you don't change. Yeah, you're right. in fantasy football, you don't change scoring after you've won.

Jake's going in and out, I can't tell what's going on with his mic. He just doesn't like how we changed the rules during the season. I also think that's pretty screwed up. Just I was the only person.

Bill, you voted in favor of it. I didn't. I'm the only one on video who said I didn't vote. Oh, you actually did, you did.

You're right, you're right, you're right. Everyone else did, yeah.

Yeah, the top two, the first and second place at the time, were not present for the vote, right? But it doesn't matter because five out of eight voted yes.

I think we should. I actually think hit by pitch was a big mistake. In general, I think it should be. The Dingers only is what gets me gassed up.

Just Dingers.

I like having one guy that gets hit by pitch. ten points is way too much per hit by pitch it should be. I think two, two is the magic number, yeah.

OK, so next year we'll do two, this year we'll have to deal with five. One bit of sports news ElON MUSk The country of Italy has asked Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg to fight in the Coliseum. That is good sports news.

That's huge sports news. The country of Italy think about it, like, imagine if they fought in the Coliseum? It turns out Elon Musk is actually sick of jiu-jitsu, too, so this is actually like a good matchup.

I mean, that's genius by Italy. They were like, Oh, the two richest dudes in the world want to fight. I wonder what we could charge for this. Yeah, also we got a spot for it.

A lot of pasta. Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg. I want to throw this out there. We will host in the new Barstool Office in Chicago. We will host the fight, so we'll talk, we'll negotiate, but we are happy to host the fight. And Billy. Your assignment is to kidnap both of them.

Yeah, just have them show up. Okay, let's do Who's back? and then we'll get to Joey Chestnut and then we will do. Mount Rushmore Baseball. Oh, by the way, congratulations to Jake and Billy. you guys are back as well on your Mount Rushmores. Like, kind of making a little charge, making it interesting.

So we'll find out. Yeah, we feel good, we're down by, we're only down by three points, that's huge. We're about to run the table.

You had thrown in the white towel. Back-to-back victory, so all right, listen up, Stoolies football season is back.

And once again, Paramount Plus is your home to stream NFL on CBS Games all season long. And so touchdown, that's right. You can stream your live local CBS game every Sunday on Paramount Plus right through the AFC Championship. Oh my goodness.

Uh, my, who's back of the week? It was going to be Ricky. It's Colin Kaepernick, Oh, oh.

He did an interview and said he still works out five to six times a week, waiting for an NFL call. So he could be back. Yeah, he could be same.

Same, you work out five to six times a week. Billy, We've seen some visuals that would go opposite of that. Yeah, I would not. No, no.

I work out five to six days a week, like waiting for an N.FL call. Maybe maybe Colin Kaepernick should switch to being a wide receiver. We can get him matched up one-on-one against Will Compton and see what he's got in that department. Ooh, okay.

I like it alright. So Colin Kaepernick's back. That will be that Florio just got like a full month's worth of blogs to write. That's perfect for him. I'm happy for him.

More than anyone. Yeah, no, it's it's, that's a goldmine. And also he loves posting those so that he can get mad at his own readership online for being like Florio Weir, my favorite, you know what?

Yeah, well, the comments section has migrated to Twitter. And so he's still, he gets down in the weeds on that. The the uh, I don't care about this response to the Colin Kaepernick has started to rival the I don't care about Michael Sam comments. That would come out every time Florio would write a Michael Sam article.

So yeah, all the replies for Florio are just going to be like, who cares? I don't care, like people, just letting him know like, hey, I don't care about this. So much. That I logged on two factor authentication to tell you I'm using one of my rate limit tweets to let you know that I don't care about this article. Yes, yes.

Um, okay, good, who's back? Pft great.

Who's back Hank my? who's back of the week again? United States soccer bitch? We're up for nothing against Trinidad and Tobago.

We were being two teams at once, two countries at once. Four nil. And, uh, I think one dude had a hat trick. So we're back big time. This is in the Gold Cup, I think that's the tournament that we made up, just that we could get another dub. It's all the North American teams.

Plus, we put Qatar in there too, because they're technically North American, I guess in some way. Um, but yeah, it looks like we're on the on the fast track for another Gold Cup. Bitches Yeah, fuck, yes.

Let's go USA, all right, my who's back? is the Friday before July 4th news dump. Because, uh, there were a lot of firings.

Uh, we actually had a couple of people let go at Barstow, which sucks, but it was ESPN had. Like friends of ours, people that, you know, we've, we've had on the show many times that sucked. And that was like it actually became so big that it was like it wasn't a news dump like you thought you could. Maybe, like, get it under the rug right before July 4th weekend, but that was a lot of shocking.

Names at ESPN are no longer Mark on Twitter. Was like, was like, Whoa, yeah, it was crazy, Steve Levy.

So I mean, Jeff and Dundee see that Jalen Rose, Tom McShay are good. He's still there, What do you believe? He's still there?

Wait, is that a Leroy? and did Leroy break that one? Steve had, like, a tweet that was talking about how good it was, he talked about other people leaving. Josh prayed it.

Yeah, cause Andrew Marchan quote tweeted Steve Levy still fully DSPN. He was reacting to his colleagues being let go, but some of misconstrued his tweet leading up to the question about his status. Wow.

John Rom, John Rom, Dad. Um no, he, he got. he got me good, he got me good. Cause like Jalen Brown, when's that happening?

Oh hank, has he resigned yet? No, did he sign yet? okay?

But yeah, it sucked cause cause, Steve Levy said. Feel numb, been trying to find the right words? Maybe there aren't any.

That, to me, sounded like he was gone. Oh no, I sad for his friends. Yeah, he's sad for his friends.

Either way, it sucked. It's also like a reminder that we work in a, I mean, everyone, everyone's job in in America. Like they, you know, people get fired every day. Um, everyone's going to get fired eventually, but we'll get fired eventually.

PFT. Yeah, it will suck, it might be. It might be cool, though.

Depending on what we do to get fired, like if we get fired for kidnapping Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk, that would be awesome. I can play a lot of golf if I got fired. imagine how much golf Hank would play. Oh my god.

Well, Hank would fire us, he would keep the job, he'd probably take our salaries. Yeah, he'd be like, we're just we're just doing some, some little cleaning up on the books.

We're going to let these two guys go, I'll do their work for them. Hank when you play golf as your job. Does that still count as taking some time off to play golf? Like, do you need to play more golf to to calm down and relax after playing golf at work? I wouldn't know.

I hope I hope to find that out one day. Oh, you're going pro? Love it. Either way, it sucked a lot and I feel really bad for everyone got fired. Anyone takes joy in any of them, sucks.

Um, but yeah, it was. It was one of those like Friday news dumps that became so big, it wasn't. It had the opposite effect of a Friday news dump. Yeah, the 4th of July news dump is a tried and true to tradition. In sports. Usually it's the NFL that has like seven suspensions that they hand out at like four. 58 on that Friday night.

And it's like, I think most of that had already, like, trickled out slowly during the week with the Isaiah Rogers news and all that stuff. But yeah, if you need to bury anything, just get it out there that Friday. Yeah, uh, all right. She, Uh, Billy, you're who's back?

Uh, my, who's back is the coliseum, and the forest fires, the smoke's back. Yeah, you know, there's more, you know what I learned today, there's more trees in Canada than there are. Stars in the Milky Way.

Is that true? Damn, yeah, I went to a museum today. Why is Canada hogging all the trees?

Yeah, it's fucking nuts, it's not very polite. What are you looking at me for? Hank? There's a shitload of trees in Canada.

Maybe less now than there were a couple of weeks ago.

That seems like an impossible stat. I thought so, too. I was at a fucking museum today, I saw some dinosaurs. Billy Yeah.

And they all pissed all the water, they pissed all the water, they didn't see that fact. I didn't see that. That's true.

I looked it up after the show and that is true. Yeah, who's doing the forest fires? Billy Uh, the Canadians, and they won't put them out because also at the museum, I took my kids.

I had maybe the funniest, weirdest interaction I met, uh, our good friend Stavros, his brother. He's fucking jacked. is he really? yeah.

Yeah.

I was like, Hey, what's up? and he's like, I'm Stavros brother. I was like, Fuck, dude, that's awesome. Which museum were you at?

Uh, whatever, the the Natural History, Natural History Museum, yeah, that that's personally my favorite museum, just wanted to put that out there.

It is a cool museum. I went to the butterfly exhibit and I was like, definitely afraid because I thought my son was going to stomp on. A bunch of butterflies. And they had, like, butterfly police there that were like, don't touch the butterflies, even though the butterflies were trying to touch us. The butterfly museums and the butterfly sanctuaries are the best place to go when you're hung over.

It's the most relaxing stroll of your life, it also just makes you. Anytime you're looking at insects in a glass case, I just think of, uh, silence of the lamps. Yeah, well, this is fucked up, cause I went to the. I went to the Chicago Zoo on Friday, checked out some of the animals.

They've got this glass case. It's basically a closet that's filled with Madagascar hissing cockroaches, and there's like tens of thousands of them in this closet. It's the most fucked up room in the world. Junior's like, funny on on, most dangerous game.

They served me a plate full of Madagascan hissing cockroaches and I thought I was actually going to have to eat them. And then, right before I picked one up and was about to, like, bite its head off, the bug guy came out of nowhere. It was like, No, you're not actually supposed to eat those, and then I just had to, then I just had to eat up blended up mealworms.

Okay, eat the bugs, eat the bugs, Billy. Do, as you're told, wear your mask. It's fire.

It's fires outside. Billy, You live? Yeah, uh, all right, Jake, you're who's back? yeah.

I know who's back, PFC hinted at it, but complaining about Twitter, uh, Elon dropped a new rule, saying If you're if you're unverified. You can only read up to 600 tweets a day. But if you're a proud blue check mark holder like me, you can read up to 6,000. And I personally have not noticed a difference because I love having my blue check mark and this is just another perk of that.

Okay, so the real who's back is just you bragging about it. No, people are really pissed off about it. I loved it, I loved it.

Anytime Elon can make, like all of Twitter collectively, be like, I'm quitting, follow me on Blue Sky, I think it's the funniest shit ever, yeah.

It was, it was so funny, cause I think what happened was there was something that got fucked up with the back end of the system. And then he's like, Well, no, that's just my new feature. Where you're not allowed to read all the tweets and then all the advertisers are like, wait, if you're limiting access to viewing tweets, doesn't that mean that you're not going to sell enough? We're not going to have our ads shown to people because those are limited to. And then Elon was like, Oh, fuck.

Yeah, that's right. I guess I just better make half the timeline ads now. So now it's like, every two posts I'm seeing, um, uh, what's his name? Tommy Chong, Tommy Chong? And like his wife, telling me to buy CBD.

Oh, yeah, yeah, on Twitter. Right now, it's that one in the, uh, all quiet on the western front for like, a month and a half.

Yup, seeing that movie? um, I actually viewed it. I my first block. I blocked Kate Hudson on Twitter, cause I got sick of seeing that. That Empires game that she was always advertising, yeah.

Oh, that game rocks. Maybe the least horny thing I've ever done in my life. All right, let's do, um, we're going to do Joey Chestnut, then we're gonna do Mount Rushmore baseball names and then the baseball draft, which I'm very excited for everyone to listen to. Golf Zone has been making simulators with moving floors since 2000..

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Okay.

We now welcome on, Uh, one of our favorite recurring guests. It is Joey Chestnut, who I have called the greatest athlete in our time. I've said it every 4th of July. I think, for like the last decade, that we are lucky enough to be alive. When Joey Chestnut is competing. Uh, Joey, thank you for joining the show. Let's just get right to it.

How are we feeling, uh, a day before your big day, like July 4th is now Joey Chestnut's Day. How are we feeling? Feeling great? Way better than last year?

No cast. And I, Uh, dude, I'm happy and hungry. Yes, that's what I like to hear. What's the number that we're going for this year?

What is success looking like for you? That that that record of 76, it could go down. Uh, the weather's looking a little bit iffy, they're they're calling it thunderstorms, and it's it's been a long time since we've had rain.

So I don't know what, what? Uh, yeah, the hotdogs when they get cold and they're hard to eat. So I'm I'm really hoping that there's no rain, but, uh, if it's good condition, I see a record now. What does? what does rain do? Cause? We've had you on a few times and obviously at one of the times we talked about the time I competed, which was seven years ago. And you, you famously told me, famously to me, uh, that the the buns are looking fast today.

And I was like, How the fuck? But what, how? What does a fast bun look like? So what happens if it rains? Is that like, is this like a Tim Wakefield's knuckle ball? Like he needs the perfect weather? What happens to the buns if there's moisture in the air?

Yeah, so if they're fast buns, uh, I mean, they're not stale. okay, sometimes the buns are, they just get stale fast. I don't know why, but, uh, if they're stale, then they're not going to absorb the water quickly.

But uh, if, uh, if if there's a storm. If they're raining on the hot dogs, then the buns are going to be already kind of wet, so that they might those buns might be faster. But if the hot dogs get cold and then they get rubbery, the cold dogs are not getting it, and it's not ideal. So if you could design like a perfect morning of weather for the hot dog eating contest, and we're like, have optimal eating conditions, what would that be? A little overcast, 82 degrees, Uh, it makes sure that sun's not beating down.

It's trying to dry out the buns. But, uh, also warm enough that you're sweating. Sometimes it's hard to get, uh, your heart beating to eat and so so it's, uh, yeah, you need a little bit of heat, so you're sweating and loose. So what are we doing this week to to train for the competition? Like, what is the final two days before a big contest like this look like for you?

Yeah, so I had a little bit, a little salad for dinner, a protein supplement. Tomorrow's going to be a big cleanse. Uh, I might, I might cheat a little bit, have some, uh, overeat the eggs or something tomorrow, but uh, really, it's going to be a liquid diet and go in Tuesday.

Yeah, I'll go in completely empty daily contest. So, uh, who is the competitor right now that you have your eye on, or is it just you? Are you just competing against yourself at this point because you're so much better than everyone else?

No, no, I, I, uh, I'll never disrespect my competitors. These guys, uh, Jeff Asper, awesome eater out of Boston, and he's actually beaten me a bunch. And for some reason, he hasn't been able to put, uh, put together a good performance in Hot Dogs. But, uh, he's going to see that one of these days, he's going to surprise a lot of people.

And I got, I got to make sure that I'm not surprised. And uh, I'm not going to be lazy and I'm going to eat this. This guy really can eat 66 57 hot dogs, but, uh, he just hasn't put it together yet. What's what's the number?

You said 76 is a record, but what's the number that, like, you know, we'll never see a human being throw 110 miles an hour like it probably just won't ever be able to happen. What's the peak for hot dogs? Where you're, like, all right, this is the number that if I hit, I'm pretty confident.

No human can ever touch this. No, I can't think of it that way. Uh, as soon as I say my absolute limit 85 and then somebody will come out and do 86, and then I've already mentally blocked myself. I'll never be able to beat that guy.

Uh, right now.

I could do 86 if somebody came out here and did 85.

So, uh, I'm not going to limit myself, and, uh, I'm sure one day some stud is going to come out and just push me. This is why you're the greatest, this is why you're the greatest, because that was a trick question, and you didn't fall for the trick.

There is no limit, it's like you have no limit. They said. The four minute mile was impossible to run until Roger Bannister ran it. And now it's like, Okay, they just redefined what possible was, yeah.

This, uh, this hunger is a feeling full of the feeling. I'm ignoring those feelings. I'm just going to push it. I love it, okay?

So, yeah, so you're shooting for a record tomorrow, I hope that you get it. I mean, everyone's going to be rooting for you.

Somehow, you've managed to be both dominant and also universally beloved. Have you ever thought about that? Like most people, there's some fatigue that goes along with sustained bouts of success. And you've just dominated the sport of competitive eating, but people still love you. There's definitely people who want to see me fail.

And it is what it is. I've been really lucky that 4th of July. I get a lot of support and not necessarily pressure, but support and people are pushing me to be my best and I'm out there.

They should put you on, not Rushmore. That's how American Joey Chestnut is. I'm being serious, Joey, I know you're a humble guy and I appreciate that. But when I think of the greatest athletes of all time, it's like, Michael Jordan Secretariat Tiger Woods, Joey Chestnut.

I think that would be my rushmore, right there. Is that so crazy. Do you scoff at me putting you in the conversation with those guys? Because I truly believe it in my heart of hearts. Your dominance on July 4th is so incredible and such a joy to watch.

That's how I feel.

Thank you. There will be a lot of people who will argue with you, but right now I absolutely agree with you. Because I'm pushing hard, I'm not going to let anything stop me. You look like you're in great shape right now.

You look like you've been working out guns, looking nice and swole. You look a little bit jacked up, Joey. I've been trying to work out last year I was so fat and soft.

And I had a leg injury and multiple infections, so this year I've been working out. I put a lot of work into making sure that I can keep doing this in the future. How are we testing the limits of what's possible in terms of eating hot dogs? You've been so dominant for so long that you have to be looking for these tiny little edges.

Saber metrics almost trying to find out a way that you can get better that other people haven't thought of yet. What's been the latest development in terms of your training regimen, or what you're focusing on to get those extra couple dogs down? Yeah, I've been experimenting with a couple little things with my dunking liquid.

It's just hot, warm water, so I've added a couple little things that maybe help digestion a little bit. But this year I was experimenting with being a little bit ambidextrous. Because in the past, for so long, I've been doing all my feeding with my left hand, so I couldn't quite perfect it.

But this year, I think my health right now is the biggest deal. So in terms of your career, where are you in the longevity? How long do you think you can do this for? Because you still shock me? But is this something that in 10 years we're going to have you on part of my take, God willing? And we're going to be having the same conversation? We're going to be like Joey Chestnut 20 years in a row.

I hope that happens. But is there any part of you that's seeing the end in sight? in sight? No, 20 years is a little unrealistic.

But I'm looking. Tom Brady did great at 45..

And it's really hard to retire when you're on top. Yes, it's going to be. I'm going to ride the thing until the wheels fall off. I love it.

I love it. You're dominant, like Big Cat said. You are maybe the most dominant American athlete of this generation. Do you ever amaze yourself with how much you can eat? Are you ever like, Oh, holy shit, that's incredible?

Oh my god, yeah. There have been some times where I'm in a practice and I'm practicing. And I'm like, five minutes in and I'm more than 50 hot dogs in. I'm like, whoa, this is a little bit scary. I think I might hit my limit before seven minutes.

So there's times where things are just clicking perfectly and my breathing and everything working together, and it's just almost magic. But it just feels good. I love it.

There's being in the zone for hot dog eaters, too. Oh yeah, all right. So I have one last question, Joey, and we will be rooting for you on 4th of July.

There's a reason Golf Zone is the number one golf simulator in the world. Adjustable lies, auto tee, 95 million rounds and over seven and a half billion shots tracked a year. But.

Sir, there's no camping. I want to live here, I know, Sir. Can I please live here? I'm afraid not, sir.

Please.

Golf zone The hardest thing is leaving.

So you said 76.

Knowing what you're doing right now, we're taking this Sunday night. Do you think 77, you got 77 and you on Tuesday? We want people to tune in, being like something special is going to happen.

Can you? I'm not going to make you guarantee anything. But are you thinking that you are in a spot where 77 is like, it's doable, it's doable.

But there's things out of my control. There could be silly protesters, there could be a thunderstorm. But if I'm feeling as good as I have the last two weeks, I can do it so okay.

What are we looking for at? Like, minute number eight? Where do you need to be for everybody that we're going to be watching at home? Being like? Joey said he could get 77 today. What's a good benchmark?

Like, minute number eight that you're within striking distance. Yeah, minute eight. Definitely I like that.

50 hot dogs in five minutes, it's really right there. Minute eight. it depends. sometimes my last minute, I'm doing six minutes.

Sometimes I'm doing seven, that's 68, If I'm at 65, it's almost guaranteed that I'm going to hit it 63. It's getting closer.

Yeah, okay, I like that, I guess. Last question.

The night before, are you able to sleep or are you just like a nervous?

70 plus hot dogs. I try to get to bed at like nine, I wake up at five, drink my last little water, chug and count my gulps. Make sure I didn't stretch and lose, but yeah, I sleep well.

I'm a fat boy.

I will tweet it out again. I'm not going to say that you're going to win, but when you go out and put your best effort that. I was lucky enough to see Joey Chestnut in his prime. So thank you as always and best of luck on 4th of July. Oh, thank you guys, great to be on with you again.

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Before we do our baseball draft, we're going to do a Mount Rushmore, Mount Rushmore of baseball names. It just occurred to me we're going to do about two and a half hours of just saying names of baseball players. No, that's great, that's awesome.

The Dinger Only League, We should make some shirts, Dingers only. yes, dingers only.

So baseball names, it's going to be player names, it's going to be. The rules are you can do nicknames, but it has to be what the announcer called them.

So, perfect example Chipper Jones would count because his real name is Larry, but the announcers called him Chipper Jones. So that would be a good example of a baseball name, a baseball nickname that counts. Everyone get it.

Everyone on board, everyone like it. Easy enough. Yeah, Hank, he's staring off into the abyss.

I'm good, I'm good, okay, okay, so.

I'm thinking, you're thinking, thinking of names. I'm going to list some fucking good-ass names right now. Also, if you'd like to give a little story of the person's name, you say that would work too.

Billy and Jake, you are up first, you're on the clock. Mount Rushmore of baseball names one one, Oh no.

Are you going to say it? Yeah, I'm going to say it, Oh no, well, he's not vetoing. We have a really great relationship.

I don't know why. Wait, wait, wait. Who said you didn't? You guys don't understand what I'm saying. I thought that there's a pick.

That is clear that I wouldn't expect Jake to say.

Go ahead, no, go ahead, go ahead, I know what they're saying.

Okay, go ahead. No, yeah, go for it. Rusty KuNTZ Oh, that's not his name.

That's not his name, that's not his name, Rusty Kuntz. That's not his name. his name is Rusty Kuntz.

I was right, No, but you have to say the pronunciation, No, it's pronounced Kuntz, No, it's Kuntz, so you don't get the name then.

So you don't get it. No, no no kuntz, kuntz, kuntz, kuntz, no no no kuntz, kuntz, kuntz, kuntz.

Rusty Kuntz All right, so you guys get rusty Kuntz. Why is that a cool name? Well, on the graphic it's k-u-n-t-z. Well, but we're going to phonetically place everyone.

Oh, so, we're changing the rules. No, we always do phonetics. No, we don't, we always do phonetics. The guy's name is Rusty Kuntz.

We got the one, his name is Kuntz. Yeah, okay, great, he fell for my trap.

Nope, you guys fell for mine. I was not going to say it unless you said that, Kuntz.

Say Kuntz, No, then it doesn't count, say Kuntz, Rusty Kuntz.

No, because then you don't get kuntz, kuntz, kuntz, kuntz, kuntz.

Billy said it enough, Jake say his name Kuntz, Kuntz, Kuntz. No. I'm a professional.

I say it how it's pronounced, all right. So then when people are voting, please remember that you're voting for Rusty Kuntz. It's actually not that cool of a name. Yeah, it's not that cool of a name at all.

You can't vote for Rusty Kuntz unless you say it, just say it no, say it no. This is Ray Allen part two.

No, it's not just say it, say it in an Australian accent, then it doesn't count. Please everyone know when you vote for it.

Kuntz, Kuntz, Kuntz. It doesn't count if you say it in English or Australian, all right. So when you're voting for it on the poll, remember your yeah, so this is them trying to rig the poll.

No, yeah, Hank knows what I'm talking about. No, we're voting for. it's sickening. Jake Yeah, it's ridiculous. We're voting for what you said. Which is r-u-s-t-y space k-u-n-t-z?

Say the name Rusty Kuntz. Okay, so that's what you should vote for. Rusty Kuntz. Okay, Kuntz.

They're going to win because the graphic's not going to, you can't put context on that graphic, okay?

Oh yeah, I don't really know how to go here, I'm just going to go with Coco. Crisp, Okay, good name.

Solid name, great name, great name on our list, on the list.

I feel like I might have left something off the board there, but it's a great name, it's a great name. Nah, they're just going to do a bunch of players that nobody knows who they actually are. That's not true, not at all true.

That's not true.

PFT. We got the whole board in front of us, we got a lot to work with here because we never would stoop to doing. Rusty Kuntz No, I like, that is a no one knows Rusty Kuntz. 16 and 3??

A little this and that, yeah, yeah, a little pepper and salt and pepper. yeah, let's do it, okay.

You go first, alright. Our first pick will be Pete Lecoq, Pete Lecoq, Oh.

Yeah, sounds like a fake person. PETE LECOQ We'll wait until you hear our next pick. Oh, I can't wait.

Pete Lecoq I feel like, if no one knows these people, like, it's no. I like our strategy, I like our strategy. Let him go.

Let him go, everyone knows. Pete Lecoq. I'm sorry, you don't know Steve. who did Pete Lecoq play for PFT for the Cubs?

Yeah, the Cubs, Izzy and the royals when? So we're in the fucking 70s, dude.

It wasn't that long ago I take your, it wasn't that long ago. What position did he play? PFT? He was a utility guy, he was a lefty, lefty.

I, uh, first base, I take your uh. Pete Lecoq. Well, it's not your turn.

Maybe the best player? Also just a fun little Pete Lecoq story. Uh, the final appearance for Hall of Fame pitcher Bob Gibson Pete Lecoq Grand Slam off of him.

Wow, who could forget? Yeah, Pete Lecoq, I mean, that's you can't not laugh about that.

By the way, PFT's righty. He was a first baseman, so yeah, exactly, we know our Pete Lecoq, lefty, lefty.

You can't not laugh when I say, Pete Lecoq, it's funny. Alright, easy second pick for us, maybe the best player on this list.

MHM Yogi Berra great one, great name, absolutely fantastic name.

Do you guys not know who that is? I was? fuck, I'm gonna be honest, I was gonna. I was thinking Yogi Berra before, he said, Rusty, Oh wow.

Then you get credit for it. Yeah, not, it was in my head, Okay, Billy.

No, we're not in.

Max just gave me the worst. Pete Lecoq and Yogi Berra. I just gave you I'll, Oh man, I wish you got a great run too.

I'm gonna go with the guy I love the most. You said, you know, name a story. If you got him came to the Red Sox on the trade deadline, used to jump through the ceiling.

Make unbelievable plays. Shortstop second baseman Pokey Reese, good name.

Okay, great name, great fielder, great vibes guy. 2004 world champion.

Near and dear to my heart. Nick Tirrani also randomly is a huge Pokey Reese fan, which we've truly bonded over. When he came in, I was like, Are you wearing a Pokey Reese fucking jersey? He was like, Yep, and I was like, You're a man after my heart.

Yeah, pokey, none, pokey Reese. Good pick, probably not great for the graphic, but good for my heart.

Hey guys, what position did Rusty Cunts play?

No idea, but the graphic's all I know, interesting, I don't give a fuck. Sellout sad.

Sad Uh, yeah, you have two picks. yeah, so uh, first pick. uh, take your Pete Lecoq and raise you with a Johnny Dick shot.

Okay, yeah, alright. When did he play? Don't give a fuck.

Okay, okay.

How did you get his name, Billy? How did you get his name? We looked it up. Yeah, we looked.

We did research, you let Bleacher report. Pick your team, I could have all the teams, all the names we're picking, we knew off the top of our head, okay?

That's fine, I don't, I don't hate, I don't hate this strategy. I think the graphic people will, that's all that matters. We should just say team.

Team Do we want to start over? do we want to start over? And do Mount Rushmore baseball players you watched in your lives? You guys just salty that we got your first pick.

Everyone knows about lecoq, everyone knows lecoq, of course, everyone knows lecoq, yeah.

Everyone knows. LeCoq Yeah, all right, fine, fine.

You don't want us to go with old school guys. No, no, go with whatever you want. no, you go, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, we'll go active for you. Is that okay with you guys? whoa? is that okay?

Great name, great name for a dog. Active player, everyone knows who he is. great, great pick.

Great pick, thank you. It's contentious, it is very contentious, I like it.

I like it, I'm also again. Max is out, not passing the ball today. Oil Can Boyd did they call him Oil Can Boyd when he was the announcers?

I feel like they did, they did when he was at the Brockton Rocks, I think they did okay. If you go to the Baseball Hall of Fame, you see oil can boyd.

Okay, if that counts, I mean, I have other ones, if not, but that one, no, no, that one counts. He played the Brockton's Like a Town. His name was Dennis.

Yeah, there's no way they called him Dennis. No, you're right, I never heard Dennis Boyd, so you're right.

Yeah, you're absolutely right. Good pick, good pick. But he played, he did, like, there's like a single a, maybe not even what'd they call it.

International League, yeah, and he pitched when he was like 60 in Massachusetts for the Brockton Rocks. Okay, pft. We got a lot we can go from.

Yeah, we've got some down towards the end of the list, the last guy still remaining? Yeah, I like 15, 17, and I also am a fan of six.

So you go to the last guy.

There's a lot of good names. I think I numbered my list differently than you numbered your list. Oh shit, did I not send you the numbered list? you didn't send it to me?

Fuck wow, okay, yeah, that was bad for us, I thought I did.

No, it's fine. I've got a numbered list too, but I think it's different from what Big Cat's looking. We just have a slightly different numbered list. Jake and I have a really awesome shared doc here.

Because we're on the same page.

No, we feel good about ours. No, you don't. I was thinking, 15, 17 and six, yeah, but what are you thinking?

What do you like?

Alberto Jose Albuquerque Yep, great fucking clip. can we put that clip in? Mike Francesa?

No, no, that's a p.e.d. What? that's a p.e.d. You're hearing somebody else say it.

Okay, yeah, okay, last pick for us.

We're going to go with a Minnesota twin, one of my favorite names out there, Boof Bonser, Boof Bonser, pitcher.

I love saying his name, I remember him playing. Don't you worry, Jake? Don't get your fucking doctors all wrinkled. You guys were the ones that came at us.

Boof Bonser, Our last pick, Go ahead hank.

Or Max, Uh, our last pick? Where's my list? Oh, we'll go with a cinematic one, okay?

Moonlight Graham Okay. What's your favorite Moonlight Graham highlight? Uh, probably feel the dreams.

Moonlight Graham was the guy that was the pitcher, the ghost. Oh, okay, remember? Yeah, sure.

Moonlight Graham It's been a while since I saw that one. Is that Angels in the outfield? No, that's a great movie, though.

There are a lot of great baseball movies, aren't there? so many more than any other sport in my opinion. Depth-wise, yeah.

How many games do you think Moonlight Graham played? I think in the movie Moonlight Graham? Like he played one game and then he died, He played one game and then he died heroically. No, he didn't die. No, he didn't.

He lived for like, 60 more years, something happened. He was like the hero of that movie, he maybe went to war or something. Yeah, he was the doctor.

Can we have it in the graphic? One game played which war? The civil war? He was born in the civil war.

Moonlight Graham is a real person. Let's not worry about my history. Everyone knows who Moonlight Graham is. There's no way they introduced him as Moonlight Graham. They're playing one game.

Which side did he fight on Moonlight? Graham? He's in the movie, yes, he's a real player.

He's a major motion picture as Moonlight Graham, the announcers the actors called him Moonlight Graham. You're picking the guy from the movie, yeah, but he's a real guy in real life. Based off of a player who played in the major leagues.

Moonlight Graham was a great pick in Europe. Moonlight Graham was a great pick. Moonlight Graham would k-fucking Shuttlecock up. Did anybody see the movie?

FACTS With The Chimp and Joey Tribbiani And the Chimp was playing baseball. Yeah, and yeah, okay, what's your last pick?

Goose Gossage Okay, good pick. He played for the Yankees, know who he is.

Yes, you do didn't see him play, but if that's okay with you guys, that's a good pick. Big spitball guy. He was a cheater.

I hope you're okay with that. I didn't know that. Oh yeah, that's what he was known for. He lubed that ball up.

Alright, good draft. What did we miss? There's a shitload that we missed. There are some great names out there, Dizzy Dean.

That's a good one. Randy Johnson Yep, al kaline, alkaline.

Mm-hmm oral Hersheiser.

Oral hersheiser is a great name. It is also we were saying when we were walking over because PFT and I did this just off the top of our heads. Barry Bonds is a great name. Barry Bonds is a great name. I know that maybe it's because he's so good, but Barry Bonds is a great name.

So is Babe Ruth? Babe Ruth's a great name? yeah, great fucking name named a candy bar after him.

Unesky Betancourt is always fun to say. That's a good one. Ryan Sandberg We had on there Milton Bradley.

Milton Bradley Did you guys only have four? Willie MoPeNA Yeah, that's a good name, that's a good one.

You should've used that one. I like Mo Vaughn too. Mo Vaughn's a good one, he's not Pee-wee Reese, he's not Les Vaughn.

Who is Pee-wee Reese? He was a he was a guy. Pee-wee Reese was a guy who put his arm around Jackie Robinson. He's ended racism in America. Max said that and inspired me to pick Pokey.

Yeah, because of, oh, it just made me think, Yeah, Reese.

Dusty Baker's a good name, too. If you, there are some hilarious ones from way back in the day. If you just I just googled best names. Pretzel Pizzuolo. He played for the Phillies.

Let's make some, let's just make up some ones. Bunny brief like Spit Shine. Louie Yeah, no, some of these are just Bill Malarkey.

Phenomenal Smith Phenomenal Smith, 1884 to 1891. Oh, this one's good. Orville overhaul.

Some of these are fucking hilarious. MuDcat Grant Oh, that's good, that's a good one. Mordecai three finger brown.

Oh, this one's hilarious. Playing second base, third base and shortstop from 1943 to 1952. Snuffy Sternweiss, Snuffy Sternweiss.

Possum I don't even know how to say it. Last name Stubby Clap. That was 2001. I don't remember Stubby Clap.

I like Tug McGraw, too. Tug McGraw's a great one, mysterious walker.

These are great names. There's a football player that's going to be probably playing college football next year for University of North Texas. His name is Moe M-o-h. Last name Billity. Oh, I like that.

Moe Billity I mean, Dice K is a great name. Yeah, it is, especially for a pitcher. Yep.

Oil slick, McGee, 1915 to 1916. He just made that one up for Max's Philadelphia Phillies Bud Weiser.

Oh, that's his name, he's woke, but we love coors light, we do love coors light.

Razor shines, dick pole. These are some chicken hawks, some of the old names that's not a real name.

Yeah, cannonball tickum, oh yeah, yeah, I remember an old CT.

Cannonball tickum What a fucking name, peek-a-boo veatch. Yeah, baseball's gone for a long, long time.

All right, good Mount Rushmore, you guys did you guys have any good job? everyone? Great job, Jake, even though you got very upset.

Thank you, rusty cunts. Yeah, very upset, just say it.

Just say, rusty cunts, I got upset with you guys. say, rusty cunts. No, all right.

So everyone vote, remember, you're voting for rusty coons. There it is pank gaslighting.

No, it's not gaslighting. Say the name that you want people to vote for. Tire Alfredo Well, luckily in this competition, that doesn't matter, Tire Alfredo.

You just made that up. I just thought it was a great idea for the new studio. I've been making them up the whole time. Jake I'm just curious why people would vote for rusty coons. Why is that a fun name?

Right, because it sounds like an inappropriate word that you guys have been saying doesn't really sound like one. You're being a real cunt about this. Okay, fine.

Just say it.

No, if I say it now, I definitely can't. That's a stamp on my ground. All right, everyone, just remember you're voting for Rusty coons. Maybe do on the.

Maybe have. It's k-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-n-t-s, it's the sanctimonious, all right, all right.

Okay, time for the baseball draft. Okay, it is time for our baseball draft dingers only, and it's brought to you by our friends at Coors Light. Everyone thinks about the day they'll eventually get to retire and enjoy all the freedom that comes with it. But who says we have to wait decades before we get to kick ball and chill out? Take advantage of that free will and spend the summer chilling like a retiree and pair those moments with Coors light, the beer that's made to chill.

It's the beer that's made to chill pairs well with a retired state of mind. We were drinking some Coors light during our baseball draft, it was Hank's birthday. I would tell everyone who's listening might as well kick back, have a little beer, have a little coors light, listen to some dudes, talk some baseball. So it's perfect for all your summer plans or lack thereof. No judgment here.

This summer, chill like you're retired. With Coors light, Get Coors Light delivered straight to your door, which is your Instacart, by going to coorslight.com celebrate responsibly Coors brewing company Golden Colorado Coorslight.com.

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Com Take thank you to Coors. We are going to do a little retiree this week. We won't have another episode until Friday with Dungeons and Dragons, but please do enjoy our M.L.B. Dingers only baseball draft presented by Coors Light.

Okay, it is time. We promised we'd have a baseball draft, we promised the Awls we'd be doing a fantasy baseball league this year and we are ready to do it. I'll just say this right now, PFT.

This could be a true test of who's a real awl and who's not. We have the Takeys coming up.

This could be the worst thing we do, well, it could be, or it could be the best thing that we do. Because what we've done is we've snatched fantasy sports back from the nerds. Yes, we're taking it to the real jocks that understand how to play ball, and we've changed the rules a little bit, yeah.

It's not complicated, you don't need to bring decimal points into sports. We have a new league, it is everyone on part of my take. Evan and Shane, who work behind the scenes, are co-owning a team. Memes is also here, so there's eight teams total, and the league is called Dingers Only.

It's very simple to follow, everyone has. There's 10 rounds, everyone has to pick one position player from each position, and then you also get a 10th pick. Which I will explain in a second. But the rules are simple. Dingers.

The only stat is dingers. If you hit a home run, that's a point, that's it, that's the whole game, doesn't matter the type of home run.

Doesn't matter the type of home run, there's no pitching, there's nothing dingers, only dingers.

It's who has the most dingers at the end of the Fantasy Baseball League. We're playing rotisserie style, so it would just be all eight teams listed. Whoever's got the most dingers is the winner. And then the one wrinkle, PFT, would you like to say it? Yeah, this is what I'm very excited about.

We get one other player, one extra player in a unique position, so this extra player's position.

Their home runs don't count, do not count, we're not counting dingers. For this extra player, the only stat that will be counted for the extra slot is hit by pitches. So you're going to get one person. And then you're going to just root for them to get beaned. Because every time they get hit by a pitch, it counts as what? 10.

10, 10 points, as opposed to everything else, which is one point. So that's really the wild card is. If you pick a guy that gets beaned, and just honestly, rooting for a guy to get hit by a pitch is going to be awesome. Yes, if you're listening to this right now, it is July 3rd. we are starting the league on July 3rd.

Nothing else matters. Prior to this, we're drafting the league in early June or mid-June. If you draft a player today and they get hurt before July 3rd, you are allowed to switch one player out. If there's an injury that happens, that doesn't matter if it's before or after. There's no adds or drops in the entire league, except for the one time injured.

If a guy gets injured, you get one time, if you have two guys get injured, you only can replace one of them. Singers. Only your team is your team, there's no changing.

There's no picking up players, there's no should we do trades? Yeah, we could have trades. trades are allowed.

I don't see how anyone would trade, but it is the simplest fantasy baseball league that you could possibly follow. It's dingers, only parentheses and one guy who gets hit by pitches. Well, if there is a trade, it would be hilarious because you'd only be allowed to trade the same position for another position. I could only trade my shortstop to somebody for another shortstop, and then someone got fleeced.

Yes, exactly exactly. We don't have to do trades, we're drafting positions, positions.

Oh, I don't know Hank, because regular fantasy baseball, I think it's outfield, right? Yeah, I don't know.

It's just Dingers. Oh, Hank. It would be the easiest league to track of all time, and Hank's draft strategy is out the window. I was just going for Dingers, Hank told us beforehand. He's like, I've got this, I have a system that is going to break this league.

Yeah, that disregard, I mean, it couldn't have been more simple. When we were talking about it, well, I thought it was literally just dingers. No, everyone's going to have a second baseman, everyone's going to have a third baseman down the line. It's binary.

Is it a dinger or is it not a dinger? And it's no ball, all right, I got a no ball. Also, we're drinking some 40s of coors light while we do it.

Yes, because it is Hank's birthday that will date. When we're drafting, this is going to be funny to watch. It's going to suck to watch if you draft tonight and your guy just goes. Hot dingers and none of them count wasted dingers, nothing worse.

Should we count right away? No, let's count right away. Isn't there a Twitter account that's just a home run tracker? Yeah, you have to turn notifications on starting July 3rd.

Actually would be kind of funny if we started counting tomorrow night and we just then on July 3rd, we had an updated leaderboard. Yeah, do you want to do that? That's dope, let's do it.

Okay, all right, we're going to count the stats. starting tonight, Wednesday, June 14th. June 14th will be the start of the stats.

I like it, I love it. We're going to be rooting and no one else will know. Yeah, that's fine, and so it's just strictly based on points.

It's not head to head matchups. Yeah, so actually this is great because people are July 3rd. No one can be invested on Game one of the M.L.B season, no one can be invested when it's zeros all around.

On July 3rd, we're going to reveal the leaderboard, so we can't tweet about it or anything. The next three weeks. You can't say a word. Yeah, we can talk in our group chat.

Hey, you can update it and send it to us. Yeah, I love that. Okay, I'll make this link public where people can't edit.

They can just view it so they can all update it daily and they can see. You mean, when we go live on July 3rd, yes.

Yes, I'll tweet out this link that we're on. You should just tweet out a leaderboard every morning from part of my team. Yeah, I'll just.

Yeah, all right, last thing before we start the draft, of course, because we're doing this and we're competing against each other. We have to have a punishment and I think this one will be we try.

We've tried to do punishments that will pay off for the Awl. So the bowling one was eye opening. How many people? Thank you to everyone who watched it live. We obviously have the Mount Rushmore, where the losing team is going to have to do a solitary confinement with each other.

And this one is it's going to take a little logistical work, but I think we can pull it off. The loser of this league, we're going to find a college baseball team, most likely Northwestern in Evanston, and the loser of this league has to get six outs against Northwestern. Pitching, yeah.

So they have to pitch six outs and we're going to be winning about. We're going to be in the field a little bit too. We're going to have, we're going to have. The outfield will be a combination of us. So loser has to pitch and second, second place has to catch, second place has to catch, loser has to pitch, and that will be quite something.

It will be, I'm already calling it. Max is going to have to catch, he just looks like a catcher, doesn't catcher? Crawled out of the womb, just with a chest pad on and chin protectors. Wait. So if there's that like, dropped third strike thing, yeah, we don't have to worry about that.

Well, you, yeah, if you're the catcher, well, but do you think anyone's going to strike anyone out? Yeah.

Billy totally could end up hurting myself throwing this ball. Oh, no, better help.

That's a little ball pitch. Oh my god, that's different. I thought about it. I was one of my favorite clips of all time.

Oh, try to throw, but I get a hold, it goes seven feet. I got a hold of the ball.

Service for July 4th, that'll be a good July 4th post will be, yeah.

The best part is, oh, how come we didn't use that clip for Zach Wilson throws this year? Oh, perfect. Best part is I blame you. best part is with the second place.

Like, it's, you can't do anything, you can't change, you can't sit anyone, you can't do anything.

Yeah, team is your team, so it's, oh, you can trade, yeah, you can trade.

Trade to get, trade, that that might be a strategy, like if someone's in last, in the second, that. I don't think you understand the concept of the trade, though. You'd have to trade a position for the same position. Do worse.

Yeah, a trade for an injured player, okay? So that will hopefully be one of the best videos we ever do. Someone trying to get six outs against a college baseball team while the rest of us are in the outfield.

Okay, we also have TJ here, TJ. I would like you to do one thing for us after each round. Can you just give us a quick, like 20 second draft grade so we can grade as we go? I like it.

And then I think that's it, I think that's all the rules. The only other thing we had was in the 11th round, so it's a 10 round draft, the 11th round.

We'll pitch one, we'll all pick one pitcher, which will only be for tiebreakers. So if there's a dead tie for last place, the tiebreaker will go to strikeouts of your pitcher. So the pitcher has nothing to do with it unless a tiebreaker comes into play, okay?

Draft order. You have a deck of cards, I've got a deck of cards, so you want to just do high card, yeah.

Let's do high card, I'd say high card gets to pick the draft order. We should probably try to go in a circle, yeah, because it will get confusing.

Go around, Yeah, okay, big cat, you want to just pick a card?

I got the king, that's a good card. Is ace high or low? ace is high, hank, you want me to just reach in?

Yep.

I think Big Cat has high card. Hank got an 8 max. This is going to be a bad podcast episode. Just let it go. Jake got a 5..

Give me an ace, kill ace, fuck I got a jack.

Max This is higher, right? Yeah. 6. Are we doing it by?

That's the order. Memes has his own team. Oh, we're going to go in a circle. Yeah, Memes has his own team.

Memes How would you guys rank the suits? 9 and what happens if, like spades, is the best?

Ace of Spades is the best card there is, so someone else gets a king and I win. This is me. I got a 4, all right.

So Max, you were right. What's 2, 3, 4? Fuck? I don't want to go first Matt, you've got to do Shane and....

Oh, you've got to do Shane and Evan, Shane and Evan. If he gets ace of spades, you've got to turn your mic up, oh.

I didn't, oh, oh.

All right, so Matt or Shane and Evan, you guys get to decide where you want to go in the draft door. And then we'll just go in a circle around that. And I'll say this about Shane. Shane's the newest guy on the team and he every time I'm walking by his desk, he's got multiple games up, he's a....

Oh, he's a seam head. yeah, he's a sneaky youngest seam head, and Evan does our YouTube stuff, he's great.

Except for that one time he had it up late, you can blame Evan.

Some technical difficulties. Evan This is actually the healing process is to get roasted. Yeah, that's when we feel good, and Shane, if everyone remembers, Shane is fantastic.

Behind the scenes, Guy created the greatest a of all time on a t-shirt that a he's our Photoshop guy, yeah.

People are still talking about the A. He's the guy that made all the Lamar Jackson photoshops, which took like two hours apiece. Yes, all right. So Shane and Evan, what pick do you want?

You pick.

What do you think? Three, you're going three, we'll go three, all right.

So it's.

No, that works, that works. too much pressure going first. No, that works.

So memes, you go first, let's go Max will go second, Max will go second, Shane and Evan will go third.

Billy Fourth. Then we'll go around the room, okay, so it is snake draft.

Damn it that way, we need to stay in a circle because otherwise we're fucked, don't you agree? Yeah, yeah.

You agree? Yep, there's no way we're going to remember if we jump around. Wait, so I'm just picking last, yeah.

But then you get two in a row, I get fine, okay, all right.

So snake, snake draft. why are you fucked? because it's a snake draft.

Everyone's equal, everyone's out to get you. That's the whole point of a snake draft. I like getting too close together. How quickly do you think we're going to get through the draft before we start picking guys who've already been picked?

I've got.

I'm on top of this, but still, how quickly? Four picks, I was going to say.

I don't know if my guys are still playing.

All right memes. Let's go again, the worst thing we've ever done. let's try to do it quickly, let's do a....

Let's do.

Let's let's do quick picks.

Um.

Oh, no, also say their position. I'm going to take Otani. Okay, oh wow.

I'm a manager. Otani's dh dh right, dh Max took Schwarber.

Max took Schwarber left field. Am I writing in all the picks or are we writing it all in our computers? I think you're writing it on the picks, all right.

Then we've got to slow it down a little bit because I'm color coding them. Yeah, oh, I think you're writing it all, okay, hold on.

Wait, maybe we should make everybody writing their own picks, good pick, good pick. I was shocked that he had 46 home runs last year. Dude, he's a fucking beast.

No, that's just that's a lot. Oh, good picks, oh uh, short left fielder. We can help you with this, all right?

Memes and Evan, or Sorry, Shane and Evan, we're going to go Matt Olsen, Okay, first baseman Lana Braves.

Never heard of him? Big fan of the podcast is he? He went as big cast. I've never heard.

I got to get him on being like, I've never heard of him because I just stare at him all the time, cause that's how much I love him.

Shout out Matt Olsen awl. Let's get them on the show. Can we get them on the show?

Matt Olsen's probably like, Who the fuck are Shane and Evan?

I'm on their team, there's only our bill. You're up, I'm going, Uh, either with Huey. Jen? Oh, no.

Aaron Judge, you can't say either that was Huey Jennings. Uh, has been hit the most. Aaron Judge, Aaron Judge.

Okay, uh, I'll go with the leader at the time of this recording, Pete Alonzo, who's hurt? Good pick, nice pick.

He's out for like five weeks. Great, it's tough. If I had said Huey Jennings, would you guys have made me have Huey Jennings? yeah.

Yes, we make you have the person you drafted. yes, when you say a name, that's your draft. Huey Jennings played in the Fifties.

Okay, uh, he's been hit 287 times in his career. So you looked up an old? I was looking at who's been hit the most? And so you were going to pick a guy who's been? I forgot, uh, Craig Biggio.

Okay, uh, hank, uh. This is a no brainer. I'm just going based off the people, the highlights, I want to see, the dingers.

I want to see the most. Vlad Jr. Oh yeah, great swing, he hits the ball.

I want, I want to get tagged in those tweets, I want to see the videos. Give me all of his dingers, I'm, I'm, I'm going the same way. Hank Uh, former cub.

I'll go Jorge Soler for the Marlins. I feel he fucking hits nukes. Can't play in the cold, though.