Ryan Whitney, Game 7 Of The SCF, Hank Is Part Of Joe Mazzulla's Family Now And Mt Rushmore Of People Who Can't Win The Big One

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music on today's Pardon My Take. We have maybe I think he actually leads the PMT in most guest appearances. It is Ryan Whitney getting us ready for Game 7 of the Stanley Cup final.

Hey sports fans looking for a new show to binge, check out Mr. Throwback on Peacock. Follow Danny, a down-on-his-luck memorabilia dealer looking for redemption by reuniting with his middle school teammate, NBA legend Steph Curry.

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Oh, we're gonna start with game seven.

I don't know, dude.

Best two words in sports.

We're gonna talk to Whitney for 30 minutes about Game seven. We will talk about Game six. But Hank, you had the greatest day of your life on Friday. You're a part of Joe Mazzulla's family now.

The brotherhood.

I think we gotta hear what transpired. If anyone missed it, I can't imagine anyone did. But Hank was on Joe Mazzulla's duck boat for the Boston Celtics parade and he was fucking buckled and living his best life.

I saw Sportscenter and it was Joe Mazzulla pouring a beer on Hank's head as the recap of the Celtics Championship parade. I was like, What the fuck, there's no way, There's absolutely no way. It looked like you had the best time ever, Hank.

It was definitely the best day of my life. I can honestly say that I've been riding the high all weekend, just running it back and thinking about how insanely ridiculous it was. I had absolutely no business being on that boat. The fact that I got invited is a testament to you guys in the show that it somehow ever even happened.

Oh, thank you.

Did you crash the boat?

I did not crash the boat, I did take a....

Take that, take that. He just said, Basically, we got him on that boat.

I was on the boat pretty much.

I did take a couple branches to the face, I was standing up. We got hit with some branches, but karma, we got there early.

Was that my fault?

No, no, no, no, it was my fault, but I was probably not great. Time management showed up and I was feeling it out. Because I told you guys before, I was like, I don't know how to act, I have no business being on this boat.

You were the front duck boat.

We were the first duck boat.

So how did that work? When you were driving down the street and you see people on the side of the road and they're like, cheering for your float? At first, are you, like, intimidated to wave back at them because you think to yourself, like, they're not waving at me, they're waving at coach?

Well, it was just the whole time I kept thinking how crazy it was. That. If I wasn't on the boat, I was just looking out at a sea of myself, like, I was looking out at, you know, my people, people from Boston. I was like, if I wasn't on this boat, I would be in that crowd and they were all just so excited.

You got to experience what being a champion at the highest level of sports is, that's what you got to experience on Friday.

Biggest, biggest parade in N.B.A. championship history. Is that a fact? 1.5 million people?

I love parade math, yeah, that's my favorite. Where they have a helicopter that flies over, they're like, that's 1.1 million.

And they just show the heat picture. Yeah, Missoula's the best.

He's the absolute, I mean, he's, he's couldn't be cooler. We hung out with him for like 45 minutes before we started. The funniest? There was a very funny moment. Like, right after the parade route ended, they kind of turned to the side, they were stopped.

And then me and he gives you are you are one of his best friends.

And he goes in that group, he's like every single person here. You all played a part in this championship except Hank. And then everyone started laughing, Yeah.

That's good, so, Max, you were in charge of cutting up social stuff and having your eyes on the internet. For Hank content, of which there was a whole lot. What was your favorite Hank clip?

So I looked awkward.

Yeah, he did what did. what was it? You were so salty. You're like, Yeah, I'll say it.

You did you look? You looked awkward as fuck, you didn't know anyone on the boat, you were the odd.

I did, no, I'm. I became lifelong friends with everyone on that boat.

Now they'll always have that moment together, and you know it, you know, you were awkward.

Up there.

He, it's a. It's a very tough situation.

The only time he looked awkward was when the flag bodied him. Yeah, that was bad.

Yes, that's my answer, that's my answer.

That's my favorite video. That was when I. That's when I realized I had to stop drinking, and the only way to do that physically, because I kept catching beers. And then, you know, you want to pump the crowd up and just chug it or throw it down. So I was like, I gotta get two hands on a flag and just wave it.

And it just the flag dominated you.

Well, I, I mean, I was, yeah, there was a couple, couple moments where the flag got caught up and I didn't know what was going on.

You're double fist pumping the flag, you did a lot of double fist pumps. Almost every clip that I saw was hanks and sending the two fists out there, which is a classic move.

Max was mad that people were bringing up Embiid.

No, I wasn't. I actually was ecstatic to see that. The fact that it's their championship parade and they still can't stop talking about Embiid, that's a great sign.

That's great, that was a great thing for you.

I was so happy to see that sign.

Rent free.

So so, yeah, it was a it was a very cool situation. Hank. I think that most people would be awkward put in that situation, but I know you get along pretty well with anybody in situations like that.

Hank's a good vibes guy.

You're a good vibe, guy.

Well, and his whole family not on the show. They're, they're, you know, they're from, they're from Rhode Island. It felt it felt very natural. I was. I was definitely a little worried, but then literally his wife, like before we even took off, I was like, all right, everyone's doing shots.

There's gotta be a word for that to describe a guy like Hank, who is just real dickhead to everybody that he actually cares about. And then, if you're a stranger, he's the biggest ray of sunshine of all time.

Yeah, he brought more, he brought more vibes on that.

Outside the podcast.

He brought more vibes on that duck boat than he has on the show in forever.

That is a fact. Yeah, yes.

Maybe we need to start throwing them nips.

I'm just happy.

This is the last day of Hank Suck Fest.

Just wait, like, I mean, Hank's on a roll right now.

I understand, I understand people are upset about the hank sucks, but our fucking producer and very good friend, like, was on a duck boat with the coach of the N.B.A. champions. That's how can we not lead the show with that?

I just want the people that are complaining to know that their voice is heard.

Okay, all right.

I will be that person.

Thank you for your service, Max.

Just know that if you're in that camp, you are a max.

Yeah.

Good.

And Max, if a Philly team ever won, we wouldn't do the same for you.

We would, yeah, but that's different.

Oh, okay, that's different.

Because it'd be you.

We would definitely do the same for you.

Well, yeah, I mean, it's whatever.

Yeah, okay.

Who was the drunkest at the speech?

They did the speech beforehand, smart Porzingis, Porzingis was late, which honestly was great for me because everyone was in the tunnel waiting. Because they all came out as a team to the court and did the speech before the parade went off. And so everyone was just waiting around for Porzingis, because he almost happened to me, too. Where he basically tried to get off and then the road was blocked off so he couldn't get across.

That's awesome. Tarek White. Do you like your hair?

Love the hair. He came in, said, What up? Sam Houser was drunk. He was also the man, though him and his whole family.

Aka Porzingis.

His brother, Joey Houser Porzingis.

Yeah, you went up for people who don't know. Hank told Gaz I'm going to go take a picture of Porzingis, and then it was just a picture of Hank standing next to Joey Houser.

It was like, six, eight, yeah, he was tall.

He was wearing the hat the same way. I mean, I was very drunk at that point.

Who got the bigger pop? Tatum or Brown?

I was in front of them, so I don't know.

Good question.

Yeah, that'd be interesting. I did see that Jalen Brown lost his ring. Yeah, he had like a nice, fancy ring that he brought with him to the parade. Some people were saying that Hank stole it.

He also said that he was there's like a cash prize if someone finds it, wouldn't the Canadians buy a new one?

It must be sentimental. I thought that, too, it must be. It's probably a sentimental ring.

Yeah.

It was Putin there.

Nazi Putin.

Oh, okay, you must have missed him. Okay, so great weekend.

It was, yeah, it was the greatest day of my life.

I have a question.

Yes.

What did the night look like?

Well, he took a nap.

Yeah, so there was an after party at Cisco with just the organization that was blocked off to the public till like five o'clock. And then once the public, they opened the doors to the public. People kind of filtered out because people were turning into a shit show. So I went back to the hotel, Gaz was checking into the hotel. I said, I'm just going to go up to my room for a second.

A little nap.

So you didn't go out with anyone on the team at night?

Not at night. No, okay.

No, I was just curious, that wasn't a dig, I was curious.

That was a dig.

That's a big dig.

I'm one to admit, when it is a dig, that was not a dig. I was actually just curious.

So, Hank, you just went out with your friends at night and partied.

Yeah, which could be Joe Mazzuola now when you say you're going out with your friends.

Do you have his number now?

I do have his number. He invited me to his house, he was trying, He was like, You sure you don't want to come back?

Could have napped on his couch, yeah.

Could have choked him out.

Could have punched a hole in his drywall and that would have been good for him and his house. Okay, so incredible weekend for Hank. We do have a game seven Stanley Cup final game seven Monday night. Tonight. The Oilers, back from the dead, have absolutely dominated the Panthers.

This would be, I think, the most iconic moment in Stanley Cup finals history if they're able to pull this off.

If McDavid does.

I think, yeah. And then if the Panthers do it, it kind of becomes a footnote and at the same time becomes another tally in the checkmark box of McDavid. Can't win the big one. Yes, it's a fact, but it has been an incredible series.

Incredible, like I thought the series was absolutely over. I thought it was going to be a sweep and then boom, you look up. I mean, the games are, you know, like two nights in between.

Did the oilers figure out, Bob?

I did, I think they figured everything out.

I think they figured Bob right out.

They figured out just in time.

Yeah.

And it's going to be awesome. We also have, I think we have double championships on Monday night because Tennessee and Texas A&M played for the College World Series.

Yeah, the Vols battled back, yeah, the Jell-o Shot challenge. let's talk about the Jell-o Shot challenge. Because I always thought that it was like a cool thing that the College World Series had.

Did you read the same tweet as me? That ruined it?

No, no, I've been thinking this since last week, so you can tell me what ruined it for me? But the Jell-o shot challenge is at every College World Series in Omaha, you go there and every team has a list for their fans.

I think it's just the bar and there might be some charity element. What ruined it for me was someone said that they have them pre-packaged. And yeah, people show up and just buy a bunch and then like, walk away, yeah.

Yeah.

So drunk people, fans taking the Jell-O shot right in front of you.

Organically, I want you can order them for your table, that's cool. order a couple for your table.

They all have to be, they all have to be taken by your fan base, yeah.

But walking in and saying, like, I'd like 10,000 Jell-o shots, right?

And then just having, and then that doesn't tell me anything about your family. It just says that you have someone rich who could buy a bunch of Jell-O shots.

Yeah, you should have to drink them, yeah, a hundred percent.

And it should, it shouldn't count, like.

Drink them or eat them.

Eat them, slash, drink them.

You take them.

Take them, but you all. It also wouldn't count, like, if we walked, if we walked in. And, uh, I were a Tennessee fan and you were wearing like, N.C. state stuff. And I bought two Jell-O shots and you took one. That shouldn't count for two for Tennessee.

That's N.C. state.

Right?

They should just do, uh, the breathalyzer challenge, breathalyze every person wearing a jersey that walks out and then do an average at the end of the week.

Yeah, that'd be good. Do you want to talk about the hawk to a girl?

Uh, apparently she's signing merchandise now.

Good for her.

Making hats.

Good for her.

Gotta take advantage.

I like the hawk to a girl just because.

Who is the hawk to a girl?

Well, there was a man on the street. Video was in Nashville. I don't know where it was, I think it was Nashville. And, uh, do you want to play the video?

Spit on that thing.

Yeah, spit on that thing. So, um, I liked how simple this meme is because I saw it going around and we had a busy week last week and I. I kind of missed it at the beginning. And then I caught up and I was like, Oh, that's as simple of a meme as it can get. Yeah, there's no other thing to it.

What's one movement bad that makes a man go crazy every time?

Oh, you gotta give him that hawk poo and spit on that thing, so that's it. It's as simple as possible. How many girls talking about spitting on a cock?

How many Tagliavola jerseys are just going to be labeled Hawk on the back of them next year? Oh yeah, oh, that's good that. I mean, I think we can already say that's the number one fancy football team name for 2024, right?

Yes, yeah, she. uh, she's, she's a star.

She's an absolute star, a legend.

She's a complete star, yeah.

What do you think about her form, hank?

Hawk tua?

I like the message, I like the message she was sending.

One hawk tua guy to another.

Hawk tua?

Hank tua?

Shane Hawk Tua is his own cock.

Yeah, but it's crazy because he doesn't eat anything else like Shane. Shane didn't have his first sandwich until last week. Yeah, he had his first sandwich.

Oh, yeah, no, she's a she's a star in the making. It feels like we're on a really good run right now. Of, you know, with the Edmonton Oilers fan. Yeah, hawk tua girl.

Well, I mean, it boils down to, like, blowjob or tits. Yeah, right, turns out those things do well.

She's a star.

If the protesters at the Uh, at the travelers, the fifth major. If they just had tits that were just poking out there, I think their cause would be celebrated a little bit more.

Yeah, so those guys, uh. So Sky Shuffler won again, all he does is win, although only won one major this year, can't win the big one.

He won, he won one big one.

He won one big one. Uh, but yeah, we had protesters on what was it? The 18th is 18th hole.

Yeah, they're coming up, and, uh, the one guy had what, like a seven foot putt.

Yeah, Tom Kim, they should, uh, like, I protest or justice is never because because the guy. Remember when they were doing the Timberwolves games, they were they were gluing themselves to the floor. I don't think that if you protest something at a sporting event, you shouldn't just be like, Okay, now I go to jail, pay a thousand dollar fine. Whatever it is, it should, your punishment should just be directly related to the sport.

Or you just get handcuffed to a tree.

Yeah.

And you have to just live on the golf course.

Yeah, or like, when you, if you, if you glue yourself to a basketball floor, you should have to. Then they should just reglue you to center court. And you have to just be trampled on for the entire entirety of the game.

Glue you down right underneath the basket and you get dunked on.

Yeah, right, like that.

You got, Yeah, you got Rudy Gobert landing on you.

You don't have to then go to jail, but if you do it at a sporting event, you, you should have to. You should have to get your punishment immediately at that sporting event, yeah.

So they were, they were stopped. Big oil people, right? Okay, and I think that the Edmonton Oilers fan did so much.

Yeah.

It completely overshadows any counter protester.

Yeah.

Just if you, if you're going to do a protest and you want people who are watching sports to pay attention, just have your boobs out.

Yeah.

And people, people be like, you know what? I'll look at some of their literature.

Yeah, the cops won't tackle you as hard. Yeah, that was. It was funny watching the cops being like. This is our big moment it is.

It's what you trained for. Yeah, if you're a security guard and you're working at, it's either you either get to arrest Scotty Sheffler or you get to arrest somebody that's threatening Scotty Sheffler.

Yeah.

And they were dumping stuff all over the green, I don't know what they were dumping. It just looked like cocaine, it might've just been cocaine.

There's like a red flare, I think, as well.

Yeah.

Shout out Scotty, keeping his composure. Yeah, they probably thought they were coming for him.

His hair looked great.

Did it.

Scotty's hair, I didn't see, it grew, it grew right in.

It grew all the way in.

So it looks pretty good right now. And then, right after it was over, like the second he stepped off the green. His wife just hands him the baby, he's like, here, you look after the baby now.

Well, it's also for the pictures.

It's for the pictures.

The pictures, the baby picture after a win is, I mean, Jason Tatum. We talked about his whole aura, but the the the video of him with deuces. You can't not like that. Yeah, you gotta, you have to have the coldest heart in the world to not like that. If you throw a kid into a champion's arms, yeah.

Yeah, but then if he loses, I want to see that baby. Face the music afterwards and answer the tough ones. Did, uh, did Jason Tatum? Did he have aura at the parade?

So much aura.

Really.

What'd that look like?

He was carrying around the trophy, so I said, What up?

That sounds like the trophy has aura, yeah.

Prop.

I mean, just the pictures and videos. He looked like the greatest champion in the world. The beautiful, beautiful part about winning a championship is that, uh, when you know you want a championship, you can just reply with the picture of him holding the trophy. And it's tough, it's a tough argument.

It is, I'm not arguing that he's not a champion, he's definitely a champion.

A player, a star player holding a trophy in front of 1.

That was a cool picture, I saw that, but that was the sun going off of it.

But that's aura.

Although it's more of the sun and the trophy, the sun has aura. Yeah, sun has a lot of aura.

That's just that's you can ask Neil Degrasse Tyson about that.

Yeah, sun's just radiating aura all over the place. Um, okay, what else, what other sports, or any, any other things we have for them? Did you win the 50 50 raffle?

I didn't know I was. I spent, I think, 300 bucks on 50 50 raffle. And the guy just sat down next to me. He's like, Thank you so much for doing this. It was like, Do people not normally?

They don't buy that much.

Get that much. And I was looking at, I was like, I've never wanted anything more in my life than to win the 50 50 raffle. That might've been the end of part of my take.

It actually, I thought about it when I saw the picture. I was like, if he wins I, this will ruin me.

Yeah, do you even get a number?

What do you mean?

Like, did you get the first number? cause I usually don't even get the first?

That's when it sucks, when you're, like, all right.

None of them were correct.

Yeah, you have to buy them every inning.

Yeah, I bought them all at once and then when they they make the announcement after the game's over, I go to the website. And I looked at it and I had to, like, refresh it. Cause I was like, this must be a different 50 50 raffle because the first number is different from all my tickets, yeah.

Friday afternoon nothing better.

Beer snakes going, a lot of uh, Edmonton oilers fans and full kits out there in the heat, really brave in the sun. And uh, yeah, you got. Also you got to drink beers out of a bat. They they got the bat beers out there.

Yup.

So now I just have that in my kitchen, now that I just pour every drink into, I'm drinking out of a bat.

There's nothing better. Yeah, you had a perfect Chicago weekend and Max moved.

That was fun, too, though.

I went to the sphere, it was sick.

Yeah, I drove like 40 hours and two days.

We all of us had an incredible weekend, yeah.

Yeah.

No, that was the max parade, yeah.

No, I had a good weekend, I did good dinner, and then I drove a lot.

Okay, nice.

A lot of driving.

Yeah, anyone who is thinking about going to the sphere do it.

Yeah, it does look incredible.

It was mind blowing.

You know who else had a great weekend?

Was it like a part of me thinks my mind would get permanently blown? There was a point of like, there was a couple of moments turning.

There was a there was a especially a moment on Saturday night, and I'll be fully honest. I had had a lot of mushrooms both Friday and Saturday. But I did have that thought of, like, will I ever go be able to go back to real life? Because it was that cool.

Yeah, I just want, I would want to just live in the sphere.

It was, it was like, I said, the expectations were high and they blew them out of the water. Incredible.

And his Kazoo band.

Yeah.

Do you think his Kazoo band is ever going to play at the sphere?

I'd go see it.

I would go, I would go, I'd be front row.

Yeah, I, I. I didn't know if it was the mushrooms or the sphere, and then I just realized, why not both? Yeah, and it was both.

But yeah, Travis Kelsey had a great weekend, too, mostly because he just missed Spear Olympics.

Yeah, so he's real shame.

He's probably very happy that he's hanging out overseas instead of having to go to Nashville.

And we have a new war. Dave Grohl versus Swifties.

Yes, we do. I saw that I stand with Dave Grohl.

Um, I do, too.

What are you doing, Distur?

He said that, uh, they're doing the errors tour, cause they play their music live. Foo Fighters are.

Unlike Taylor Swift.

Unlike Taylor Swift, who's not playing live.

She's just lip syncing.

That's what his claim was. Wow.

Some people are saying, yeah.

But it's also like, why can't there just be?-?

What is he thinking?

Why can't there just be shit talk? why can't swifties just do shit talk?

That's what they do.

No, they don't, they don't let shit, they don't, they don't. Anyone who says anything mean about Taylor Swift ever, they fucking go to def con a million.

Yeah, but it should be like sports, you should be able to to take the shit, talk, fire back in kind without trying to take away his entire career.

I'm sure such a mean girl.

Dave Grohl will be fine.

I did see a meme that, uh.

I don't know if there's a lot of swifties.

I don't know if that's true. I saw the meme, I'm just reporting what I've seen, we're journalists, I'm reporting it.

There's not a lot of crossover between, like, Reagan voters and Taylor Swift fans, probably.

The hawk to her, Yeah.

It's so good, it's so good, I love that. For a while, all we had was the, uh, the Gluck, Gluck 3000..

Yeah.

And we've been waiting for a worthy successor. I think Hawk to her, does it.

It's finally been released.

What do you think her dad's saying right now?

Um.

That's my girl.

Yeah, yeah, like that was good work, yeah.

Nice.

You, you, you, you. You asserted yourself well in that interview.

Yeah.

Hawk to her, Uh, okay, anything else? From the weekend? Trying to think, Oh, we did have the first ever, uh, walk-off pitch clock violation.

Yeah, those electric yep happened to the Rockies, right?

Yeah, happened to the Nationals. Yeah, yeah, Rockies one, I believe.

Thank God, we also had a, uh, another rematch of the fever and the sky, and then nothing really happened. It was just like a normal good bad.

They just like the Washington Generals and the globe trotters.

Yeah.

So play every game.

They seem to play a lot. How matters?

They're playing every other night.

How matter people? That there wasn't a hard foul on Kaelin Clark? Very mad. There's a shitload of people who only watch the game for hard fouls on Kaelin Clark.

Yeah, like a hawk, they're just like rewinding every frame. That seemed like an unnecessary shoulder. Uh, there was like some shit talking, but it was just normal sports.

Right?

Which is, I think, what it's going to turn into.

Yeah.

Now, if I was a player on the fever, what I would do if I'm, like, into the rotation, uh, type player? I would just become her enforcer. Just get out there and wreck some people's face if they touch Kaelin Clark.

Yeah.

And then you just develop an enormous fan base based off that.

Yeah, just become the the Kaelin Clark, uh, stopper, yeah. By physically assaulting her.

Or the Kaelin Clark stopper? No, I'm saying her teammate.

Oh, her teammate, oh her the protector.

Yeah, she'd get real violent.

Yes.

The really violent, yes.

Um, okay, let's do Who's Back the week? Um, Max, are you going to start doing Who's backs the week? should he?

That's, that's not my choice.

I think you, I think we should try it and see how it goes.

Yeah, probably will go poorly.

Uh, yep.

Okay, uh, who's back? In the weeks? Brought to you by Coors light? The perfect summer playlist may be elusive, but one thing is for sure it gets better when it's enjoyed with a cold Coors light, because music, plus Coors light, equals chill.

Uh, both of mine just got taken. It was going to be the protesters, then it was going to be Travis Kelsey.

It was going to be Haktua. Oh, a Mets pitcher just got kicked out for cheating memes.

Oh no, what was he doing?

Bad stuff.

He had some of the grimace shake on his wrist.

He was haktua-ing into the ball.

So I'll just say my added inspiration to dunk that was the only thing I didn't really mention was, uh.

How's it been going, this bender you've been on?

I've been trying to do as much as I can, but after spending, you know, the day and basically being invited. As a quasi-member of the Missoula family, I feel like it's my responsibility to live up to the high expectations and standard that he sets. And I feel more motivated than ever to just put in the extra work and make it happen. Because that's just that's what he would do, that's what Missoulas would do.

So earlier today, earlier in this episode, you said that this was probably the best day of your life. You just hung out with Tom Brady like six days ago.

Oh my God, I forgot. Hank has been on such a streak that I forgot about that.

So this was better than chilling with Tom Brady.

Yeah, I mean, the one before was the first Patriots Super Bowl when they won. And we got invited to the hotel, it was random, like we weren't expecting it, we were just at a bar. Got a text, ended up at the team hotel after party and got to party with the team. When it was like, you know, maybe a hundred people there, that was previously the greatest night of my life. This one, this one tops it.

Jeez, So you had two of the greatest nights of your life in the same week?

I wish you hadn't said that.

There will be downfall.

I completely forgot about it.

There will be downfall.

Yeah, the downfall is.

Football.

Or real shame in a boat? yeah, or real shame trying to dunk.

Real shame if you popped your achilles trying to dunk.

P.ft.

It would be a real shame if I just said, PFT.

I would, I would, I understand why, people.

You bad bad boy.

I debate on me that everybody gets paid. That was a bad boy.

He deserves it after three.

I was going to say, ACL, he deserves it. After three, that was a bad boy.

I didn't, I didn't deserve to be on that boat. But it's one of those things where when you're in that situation, you have to just enjoy it. Yeah, I enjoyed it as much as I could, even though it was....

No, but. But PFT is right, like the the world evens out. But not for Hank.

Yeah, I'm just going to enjoy it, you know, people are going to try and take me down, tear me down. Even his bald head doesn't look that bad.

Show the bald head How'd the Suntan get?

I got a little.

Yeah.

But you didn't at the start, and I was going to say that. The two biggest pieces of advice you should have gotten, or at least tried to follow up on going to the parade would be put sunscreen on your head and eat something for breakfast.

Right, that's why when I was on the way there, I was like, Oops.

You wanted to blame me so bad.

No.

Yeah, you did. No, anytime you don't eat, uh, it looks good.

Thank you.

It looks good, yeah, I don't know how it looks good, but this is....

Hank's just on the heater, man.

I just hope no shames happen. Okay, Pft, you're who's back this week?

Uh, my, who's back is the USA baby, U.S. dos Acero?

What did we do?

We beat the dastardly Bolivians.

Oh, fuck, yes.

We crushed them into Bolivia and it was a. It was a great game for Christian Pulisic and he scored, uh, like the first three minutes and then had a great assist later on. Team looked good.

We should group stage.

Group stage.

What do we get if we win?

Our real, we get, uh, the honor of beating.

Immortality.

We own all of America's because this is a Copa America, so we get, um, we get rights to South America, too. That just becomes South United States of America. Panama. They stink, and then, um, Uruguay, who's always good in these tournaments.

Is there any? Is there a weird, uh, country in this? Remember, it wasn't, it wasn't Qatari.

Qatari was in it last time. Yeah, they were honorary Americans.

Do we have any of those?

We are the weird country in it.

Okay.

So we're not supposed to be in it, we're not in it every single time, but we're hosting the entire tournament, which is major cuck move. Yeah, uh. But we're using it to, I guess, get things tuned up for the World Cup when we host it. But team looked good.

I'm excited for some soccer.

Yeah, Uruguay is going to be a good game.

They're good.

They're very good, yes.

Is, uh, Luis Suarez still playing?

Uh, I don't know, I don't know, I love that, I don't know if he's playing in this tournament or not. Just biting everybody.

Um, okay, my who's back of the week is, uh, LeBron and Clutch being salty. I don't know if you guys have followed this. It's the most pathetic thing I've ever seen. Uh, I guess. Clutch has hired a bunch of people to go and look up old MJ stats and try to rip down MJ.

So what are they doing?

They went back to the 1988 uh, deep, uh season and when MJ won a defensive player of the year. And like, looked up games where he had, uh, an inordinate amount of steals. And then they went and looked and like, saw the crediting of it, which happens in every arena, like the home Road, splits always happen.

It was really bad in the seventies, eighties, and I think early nineties. You can't even go back and watch some of those games.

Right, and now we're in a war where, like now, LeBron's old plays are getting posted. It's just, I don't know, I don't understand what the end goal was. Why would you try to tear down MJ?

So no one really cares about that much.

And also in the in the, in the quote in the story, Bob Ryan, uh, basically said, he's like, I, you, I. I don't use stats for all my voting, I use the eye test. And he was the best defender in the league. Like, what, what does it matter?

He was the best in the league at the time compared to other players that he was playing right. Sure, but yeah, there's a lot of like.

Happens all the time.

It happens all the time and every player that was in that era dealt with it.

And and you know, it'd be a real shame, you know, it'd be a real shame if anyone finally did a story about LeBron and Peds.

I'd be real.

That would be a shame. I'm not saying there's anything there, but you, you're now opening the box to to ask questions. So we're going to go back and do stats.

He actually had his guys from his management team go back and look at MJ stats.

I don't know if it was, I mean, listen, it was. It was Tom Haverstraw, who I I like, but I don't. I don't like his work in this, uh, Nick Wright, who we do like as a friend. He, he. I don't know if he was joking, but he was saying he had a piece in the in the working of this.

Um, of course, he did. Clutch media or clutch.

They, they do like they have media members that are in their back pocket, so it wouldn't shock me if this is what happened.

Yeah.

Like, hey, go look at all these stats.

Well, I think I don't think Nick, right? You would even have to pay him for that. Because every every little bit that you can make Michael Jordan appear worse, makes him appear more right, right?

And I like Nick. But like, it's just a very pathetic thing to go back in time and try to nitpick every stat. And what's happening now is people are digging up LeBron stats and and game film, and there's you could do it for every single player ever.

Yeah, how many times did he travel, right? How about we take a look at that? how many? how many carries did he get?

I watched one today where he got credited with an assist. It was an outlet pass and the and the guy he passed to caught it at half court and took like 15 dribbles.

Yes, it's the home finger.

Right, which happens, but it's pathetic. Um, and again, I don't want it to get to a point where we start asking PD questions, that would be a shame.

Yeah.

Also just because I don't think LeBron did PDS, but some people might think that.

The fact is that he's played it a crazy long amount of time without significant injuries.

Also, what I don't really get like the LeBron M.J. thing is going to just be an age thing. At this point, it's going to be if you're 30 years or younger, you're you would think LeBron's to go, and if you're 30 years old, do you think that what you're not going to change really? Anyone's opinion, who's on whichever side they're on, just let it play out. And then there's going to be another player that we're going to do this for. But you can all. That's how sports debates work.

But you can also look at the two years that he didn't play and then say, what would MJ have done if he had played those couple titles?

Yeah, but it's just I think it's been decided in the fact that there's the camps, and the camps will have their thoughts. But to go back in and watch game film and try to tear down. M.J. So again, I think it admits that you're, you're desperate.

Well, it definitely admits that you're playing from behind, it's it's loser behavior, for sure. I could see myself doing it to somebody that I hated.

Yeah.

But I don't think I would ever do that to somebody. That I was just like trying to prove that my favorite player was slightly better than me, right, right?

You saw this hank?

But if I hated that player, I would definitely do it a hundred percent.

Desperate, desperate, desperate. Uh, okay, what? what were you gonna say?

Positive vibes, I'm good vibes.

Say it.

What were you gonna say?