#2146 - Deric Poston
2024-05-07 03:02:34
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
Joe Rogan podcast, check it out! The Joe Rogan Experience. Stream by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night!
All day!
Derrick!
My brother!
My man! Let's go! Let's go! Joe Rogan.
Bro, we've had a million conversations like this in the green room. We've already done like a thousand podcasts.
This is my every night right here.
We need a fucking studio in that club. You know? We need to put a podcast studio in that club. I've been thinking about it, but like we don't have the space for it.
Yeah, where would it go?
It wouldn't go anywhere. There's no place. There's no... We have... We used...
It's like very efficient. We have all the space.
I don't know. Yeah, but...
I think what we need is an apartment. We need an apartment close. So we can just go right over. Go right over. Like go...
Apartment. that's just set up as a studio. When you get in there, it's just all studio.
That would be nice, Joe.
Yeah. Because there's so many apartments that are available in that area, right? Yeah, Jamie, just got one. Let's go, Jamie. You should get next door, so I don't have a neighbor.
Oh, that's not a bad idea. How far away are you from my club? Two blocks. Oh, let's go. Is the next door neighbor open?
I think they all are. Oh, that'd be perfect. It would give you the keys. Which you see my view. Oh, that's what I want.
I want a view like that because, like how dope would that be? Late night, all of us, chilling, windows, see the city. I was going to do that in downtown LA.
Really?
Yeah, but then I went to downtown LA. I'm like, oh, my God, and I brought my family, and I brought my daughters when they were young, and I was like, oh, my God, am I going to have to kill somebody? Yeah. It was crazy, and this is pre-pandemic, man. Yeah.
This is before the shit hit the fan. I'm like, people were just pissing all over the place. It smelled terrible. There's some really good donut place. that's in downtown LA, so we were like, let's go get some donuts.
Let's get crazy. Yeah. Let's just go find. So we wound up going to the one in Pasadena or Glendale. There's one somewhere else.
There's one somewhere else. that's also like that, and we wound up at Silver Lake. It was a lot of hippies. It was like the total opposite. I'm like, I'll tell you, hippies all day.
I'll take, like, you know, woke people with fucking green hair all day.
All day over. I Am Legend?
Bro, full on. I Am Legend. I Am Legend. Full on. I Am Legend, yeah, yeah.
To go down there and get a donut, though, it's worth it. LA donuts are the best. It's not even fucking close. Really? I think so.
Kind of like a New York bagel. It's something about certain breads, I feel like, in certain places that hit different.
Bro, when Krispy Kreme's coming right out of the oven, it's hard to fuck with anything else. Nothing. Those glazed ones, the maple glazed, when they're coming right out.
Oh, Joe. So good. So good.
You fucked me up, though. I haven't had bread, Joe. I haven't really had bread. Probably maybe twice since we did the carnival. Oh, good.
Maybe twice.
Good. You fucked it up. Every now and then, it's okay. Every now and then it's okay. The real problem is when it becomes a part of your diet.
When it's a normal part of your diet. When I eat a piece of pizza, my body's like, yo, what are you doing? I'm like, relax, we're having a drink. Have a pizza, come on. And then I don't eat for a while.
Let it clear out of my system, then I go back to eating clean. But if you have that as a normal part of your life, it's just like all these things compound, right? You smoke too many blunts, that compounds. You eat too much bad food, that compounds. Look at that.
Jamie, what are you doing? Did you post this? Yeah, a long time ago. Oh, my God. Look at that.
That is just diabetes in food form. It just makes me want to feel sick. I'll take that temporary mouth pleasure for hours of feeling like dog shit.
Yeah, Joe. Oh, it feels so good. Yeah, the bread thing. Joe, this was the first time in my life I hadn't had hot Cheetos. Every day.
Would you prefer hot Cheetos over Takis? I know a lot of people.
I love Takis.
That's the black in me, I think, because I'm a hot Cheeto. Mexicans love the Takis. They love the Takis.
You know, I really like them crunchy Cheetos, the little, tinier ones, the more crunchy ones. What are those called?
To me, those are the regular ones, and then you got the puffs. I'll fuck with a puff.
Oh. When I think of Cheetos, I always think of puffs.
Interesting. I think of the ones. you're thinking of, the little ones that are harder. Yeah.
Yeah, I like those.
Yeah, I've had them every day of my life, Joe, until you said, hey, let's do the carnivore diet.
I'm fucking 33.
. That's ridiculous. That's ridiculous. You should be eating that. You know, Fritos, those little corn chips?
Yeah. We used those to start a fire in Alaska when we were camping. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of the dudes that works for my friend Steve Rinella, told us that they're very flammable.
I'm like, really? And so we used that to start a fire. We were in Prince Edward's Island, which is Prince of Wales Island? Which one? Prince Edward's?
Which one's the one in Alaska? Prince Edward's? Prince of Wales? What is that? I don't even know if that's a real place.
Prince Edward's, right? Prince Edward's Island is a Canadian province. Oh. What's the one in Alaska? It might be right next to Alaska, though.
No, it's not. That's the complete opposite side. What is the one that's in Alaska? What was the other one? you said?
It's not Prince Edward's Island? No, that one's near Maine. Really? That's what the map said. Fuck.
I can't remember the island. Anyway, the island in Alaska. Well, Google it, because it's one of the most rainy places on Earth. Brian Callen and I did a TV show from there with Meteor. It rained for seven, eight days.
Whatever the fuck we were there for. It rained every day. Prince of Wales Island. What's that? Prince of Wales.
Okay, it's Prince of Wales. It rained every day. And one day, it didn't rain for like ten hours. We were like, dude, we're going to start a fucking fire. We're going to figure out how to start a fire.
And so we got sticks and shit. that's under everything else. So everything got rained on. Oh, is there a video of it? Not you guys.
Somebody else is doing it. Yeah, because we didn't film us doing this. But Fritos are so covered in life-stealing oil that they act like a fire starter, man. Look at this.
They're great fire starters.
Like if you want to barbecue and you don't want to go by. Have you ever seen those things, tumbleweeds? Do you know what a tumbleweed is? No, sir. Tumbleweeds are these little, it's like little shaved pieces of wood.
that's like bundled up together. And they must be soaked in some kind of flammable liquid. But if you want to start like a grill, you put one of those bitches down. And then you put some sticks around that and light that little tumbleweed. And woo, you're good to go.
And then you start stacking logs. Yeah, but you could use Fritos instead. That's my point. You don't need those tumbleweeds. Probably won't be as flammable, but that shit can't be good.
And I'm eating that shit?
Fritos are delicious.
They're fucking great. Put a little chili on them.
What are those chilis where people add Fritos? They add Fritos to the chili. People do that all the time.
Oh, people do that. Yeah, I like that. I like the crunch.
Little crunch is good. Full experience, right? The tangy, the spicy, little cheese in there.
Yo, how the fuck are you not fat, dog? You got it in you. You're supposed to be fat as shit.
It's just discipline. I get fat. I'm pretty lean right now. Now I'm under 200, which is rare. Wow.
I'm like 197, which is nice. But I've just been real clean on the diet the last few weeks. The last few weeks, I started getting a little fat. I started feeling a little bit of this, and I started paranoid. My gut started sticking out.
I would get it straight to the gut. Because I have pretty thick abs, too. Yeah. So any fat that goes on top of this shit right here. It's a barrel.
Yeah, it gets gross. And it pokes out right here. Yeah. And it just starts looking gross.
I just see weakness. When I see myself in the mirror, I'm like, you weak bitch. You weak bitch. You can't stop eating spaghetti. I eat so much food, bro.
I eat so much food. It's crazy how much I eat. I'm a glutton, like a real glutton.
Man, I've seen you put it down, brother.
I'll eat two pizzas. I'll eat two pizzas. I'll eat that whole pizza. There's another one right there. It's warm.
Is it warm? I'll just go right in on that pizza. I'm not hungry. I'm not hungry. It's just gluttony.
I've seen you take down so many Golden Tiger burgers, dog, when you get going.
Bro, that one time we went out, I ate four of them. I had four double cheeseburgers. Gordon Ryan was freaking out. Gordon Ryan was like, how the fuck are you eating? I'm like, dude, when I get going, the wolf comes out.
Oh, yeah. The wolf just wants to keep eating. You gotta keep that motherfucker in his cage.
Yeah, you can go, bro. That's my favorite joke. When Joe starts drinking in the green room.
When Joe starts drinking, nigga.
Oh, you get going, baby. We start talking shit.
Oh, it's the best. You start dancing. Oh, bro, it's over.
Who has more fun than us? Who has more fun than us?
Nobody, bro. Oh, come on.
We're in there dancing. We're dancing all the time. No self-consciousness. Everybody's just having a good time.
Oh, it's my favorite.
God, it's the best place in the world.
Oh, the music's going. Oh, the tunes are going. And everybody's going up. And you're coming in from a set. And everybody's already dancing and shitting on Brian for saying something crazy.
And Tony's just roasting him. And you're dying. And you're like, this is the best night of my life, bro.
I love when Brian comes off stage and he walks in the room and goes, Woo! Because you know, he just laid it out. Oh, my God. Bro, when he was doing that wop bit, when he really tightened up that bit, when it was just a, that bit was just assassination. That bit was one of those bits where I would go out there and just sit and watch it.
I watched it like, shit, watch that bit 50 times. I just want to see that bit. I would ask him, are you going to close with wop? Are you going to close with wop?
He wouldn't even always close with it. I wouldn't.
He goes, ah, the bit's like 11 minutes long. I'm like, please. Please, just do it for me.
It would be his whole set.
It would be his whole set. But it murders. It murders so hard. And it's so good. It's like, that's such a quintessential Brian Simpson bit.
Yeah. Because it's clever.
It's ridiculous.
It's historical. He talks about him. It gives you real facts.
Yeah. It's so smart. And it's about wop.
And it's full circle. It's about pussy.
Yeah, there's science involved. He explains, like times, like how you multiply shit. You know, like, oh, my God, it's genius.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's such a good bit. There's certain bits where you hear the bit and you go, God damn, that's a good bit. Like Shane Gillis' Navy Seal bit. God damn, that's a good bit.
You know, my favorite of his bits, though, I think, is the George Washington bit, for that very reason.
Yeah, he had the teeth, bro.
Well, it's also because it's interesting and it's hilarious. And you know, like, that's a bit that took some time. That's not a bit, that the first time you do it on stage, you get that product. Yes. You know, like, Tony has a few jokes, that the very first time he does them on stage, they murder, and it's done.
Yeah. The bit's done. But, like, that Shane's bit about George Washington, that's a long bit, man. That bit is complex. There's a lot of twists and turns.
Yeah, bro.
It's just the angles he takes. It's so cool. Oh, it's so cool. But with Brian, Joe, you know, I started with Brian. He was that.
What you're seeing now, he was that. Really? I met him, Joe, and he was that, bro. It was the coolest thing to be around that guy. Because I think he's just the greatest, one of the greatest minds ever.
I'm lucky to be one of his best friends. That's how I feel.
He's very humble, too. Very, very humble. You know? I mean, until someone starts talking shit to him.
Well, then he's going to destroy you.
He'll shut you the fuck up. But, yeah, he's just got a unique way of looking at things. And that's the wonderful thing about comedy. I hate that word wonderful, but it's the right word for the job. That's the thing about you meet so many different people and we all have this one thing in common.
There's one thing in common. We like making people laugh. Yeah. We like this thing. we do, this art form.
You know? That's it. That's the only thing. I mean, we vary so much in so many different ways. Yeah.
But we all have this, like, amazing bond. Like, that place is like, it's the Comedy Store. times, I don't know, times, three, times four, something like that? Yeah, bro.
Also, we feel so, like, we were here. We all came before it opened. We were here to feel that.
Bro, you were an early adopter.
Yo, Joe, I came out here when I wasn't even sure.
I was like, damn, Derek, just moved here?
I felt like one thing, though, about this, it's like that's one of the reasons why I felt like I had to do this. Because I knew all you guys had come out. You guys are coming out here when we were at Vulcan during the lockdown. Yep.
Thank God for my wife, bro. That was her. Her call, dog. Really?
That's amazing.
That was my wife. She saw you guys there. It hadn't even crossed my mind yet. Joe, I was still in pandemic mind of like, we're just here. This is what it is.
And then she said it. She was like, we're going to Austin, Texas. And I was like, what? She's like, they're up. Everybody's getting up.
And I'm like, oh. And I was like, what the fuck am I doing? I'm going to Austin, Texas. It moved March 2021..
It was crazy because so many people were mad at us. They were mad at us for doing shows. I was like, are you out of your fucking mind? Are you going to just not do shows anymore? Are you going to not talk to people?
Like, what are we doing? Like, how long does this go on? How long does this go on? In L.A., the answer was a year and a half. Year and a half.
Out. here, it was six weeks. They started shooting guns in the air. Shut the fuck up.
I saw old people with no masks on out here early on. Oh, you can feel it. Shut the fuck up.
God, I remember when it happened. I remember when it happened. I was talking to Brendan. And right when I said, man, they're going to hold L.A. down for a year.
He said, Derek, you're a fucking idiot. That would never happen. Yeah. Cut to.
Cut to.
I mean, I was like, oh, my God.
Well, I knew it. I felt something. I didn't know if they were going to lock it down for a year, but I knew L.A. was never going to be the same. Because there was a new attitude about law enforcement.
that happened after George Floyd. I'm like, oh, this place is in trouble. Because when they had those cop cars lit up on fire, was it on the 110?? Is that what it was?
Yeah, and they were like on fire and like cinder blocks and shit.
Yeah, spray painted on fire, smashed everything. They were doing smash and grabs everywhere, and they were just letting them do it. Like in Beverly Hills, all they were doing was not letting people shop when it was dark out. That was it. So during the day or at nighttime, everybody just smash and grabbed.
It was like the smash and grabs on Beverly Hills were insane. It was everywhere.
That shit was crazy.
Crazy. Crazy. It was also people waiting for people after they were shopping. They were just stealing from them after they would go shopping at the mall in Beverly Hills. Like nice places in Beverly Hills, nice stores.
Yeah, West Hollywood. people were getting robbed, bro. It was crazy. I saw that shit. People were getting robbed.
I saw there was a car full of dudes that was parked in front of this gated community, and they had no license plate on their car. And I was driving in, and I remember looking at these dudes and them looking at me. I'm like, these are not dudes that are up to anything good. Yeah. And they have a car with no license plate on it, and they're outside of this gated community.
And they could have been just waiting for the thing to go up so they could sneak in behind it, you know? Yeah. I don't know what they were doing, but I remember thinking, like, this is going to escalate. You're going to get more of this. Then I saw I was passing by this clothing store, and I saw these dudes smash the window and run inside.
Crazy. In Woodland Hills. In Woodland Hills. It's like the sleepiest, most boring-ass fucking neighborhood.
Yeah, it's supposed to be the nicest.
Dr. Dre has a house out there. Yeah.
That's where Whitney lives. It's like, yeah, that's where Schaub lives. It's like that area is nice. And they were smashing windows. They lit a dumpster on fire and pushed it in front of the front door at Target?
My friend was in there. My friend was in there. They yelled out through the loudspeaker. They were telling everybody, put down everything you have. Just don't go to the cash register.
Get out. Get out now. And they get outside, and someone had lit a fucking dumpster on fire and pushed it up against the door.
Yeah, fuck that. Bro. I'm so glad we got out of there, Joe.
So, when I came out here, everybody was like, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet. Oh, okay. Has the world gone mad, or has just L.A. gone mad? Has parts of the world gone mad?
It's like the scary thing about it was. it was an experiment. Not for real. I don't have this conspiracy theory that they did it on purpose. I think it was a lab leak.
Really? Yeah, it was accidental. And I think there's a lot of funding involved in doing these fucking coronaviruses, and there's also probably some – it's probably biological weapons research too. They probably do – because they definitely do create viruses, and they work on viruses for bioweapons. It's a real thing.
Like bioweapons is a real thing. I believe that. It sounds terrifying that someone would release a weapon on a city to kill everybody because you're – but that's real. Yeah. And also China and Russia, they're all – I mean, they used gas in World War I.
They just blew gas on – Brother, yeah. Yeah.
I don't watch V for Vendetta and think that's not possible. That looks real, very real. Very real. That they would do something like that.
That could happen today again. It could happen again. But the point is it's like – I don't even remember my point. My point was like that these kind of – these things, when they happen, they reveal how people react to them. And people didn't react nearly as good as I hoped.
Yeah.
They sectioned themselves off in these tribes.
Yeah.
That was what was weird, man.
That shit broke people, Joe. It broke people. It broke people. People still wear masks, Joe.
Oh, my God, yeah.
It changed, like, who people – like, they forgot that they used to not wear masks. You can tell.
Some comics from Moontower were walking down the street and Ari saw them. Ari saw this dude, and he had a fucking giant mask on his face. One of the really fucking form-fitting ones, secured down.
Just broke him.
Yeah. A lot of people were like that.
Broken. Just broken. But everybody got, so tribal.
It gave people an opportunity to be cunts.
There was a lot of people in L.
A. in particular, and some in New York as well. They were just – they're really miserable people, and they were looking for an opportunity to shit on someone publicly because they felt like they could, because they felt like that person was vulnerable, because they were taking a controversial position. Yes. Whether it's a controversial position like saying, I don't want to get vaccinated, or it was a controversial position of doing shows live, still.
People were blaming – I saw a comic blame someone else for the death of their mother.
Blame a comic that's doing shows for the death of their mother.
For the death of their mom?
Yeah, like, yo. Fucking them out for – Yeah, maybe it was a respirator. You know? Killed 80% of the people. they put them on.
I remember people saying that shit, though, Joe. When I first moved here, people were doing shows, and people were saying that, like, my grandmother's going to die because of you. Your grandmother's just going to die, man.
Yeah, your grandmother's going to die. You're going to die, too. So am I. What are we doing? Also, the solution is not everybody stay home for your grandmother and ruin children's lives.
That's never been the case. Old people have always done the best that they can to make life safe for young people. And by locking them down and by keeping them out of school and by making them wear masks, you didn't make the world safer. You made it scarier. You're going to have more people with anxiety.
You're going to have more lost years of development. You're going to be missing out on your education. There's nothing good about that. Nothing good about that. There's zero good about that.
And if you did it to protect old people, you're a fool. Yeah. You're a fool.
It ruined young people's lives. There were people who missed their senior year, junior year. They didn't have it. And I think of it. That's like a year that you need in your life.
It's a memorable thing.
Bro, it became like a child sacrifice thing. Like they didn't care about the children. They didn't care what was happening to them. We have to protect our vulnerable. It's not going to protect them.
That's not how it works. It's like there's no science behind it. In the age of science. What the fuck is wrong with my voice today?
Thank God I got a cough button. I'm like a professional. You have a cough button? Yeah, we got a cough button. If you had us cough.
I should have gave that shit to Graham Hancock the other day. Some people just cough. But in the age of science and reason, people abandon science to confirm their worst fears and to confirm all their weird anxieties. Which is the reason why people believe that a mask that you could breathe out of is going to protect you from a virus floating in the air. Or that you're going to stop a respiratory virus by just keeping children out of school.
Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up with all this. Or that all of a sudden, the pharmaceutical drug companies should be trusted. Shut the fuck up, you guys. You're not being reasonable.
You're acting like pussies. And I'm not saying you're acting like pussies because COVID wasn't dangerous. Of course it was dangerous. I'm saying you're acting like pussies and you're not willing to look at the truth because you're scared that it's going to go against this thing that you have in your head. that's a narrative that you've been sticking to this whole time.
Yes. People don't like to just... Also, people just don't like to be like, oh man, I was wrong about that.
It's okay.
You're not a bad person to be like, COVID came and I kind of freaked out. I kind of went too far.
It's okay. When it gets them is when they get vaccine injured. Chris Cuomo just came out and said he's got a vaccine injury. That guy was pushing that shit on TV forever. And he said he got it with his first dose and then he got it again with his second dose.
Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for that cough. I could have reached for that button. I got lazy. I could have just reached for that button. I could have just pressed that button.
Wait, what's a vaccine injury?
Something happens when you get the COVID shot, and it's not just the COVID shot. There's people that have adverse reactions to all kinds of medications, right? But particularly to this one, this is one that the first time they ever rolled something out to billions of people worldwide. And some people had terrible reactions. And one of them, apparently, was Chris Cuomo.
Interesting.
Yeah, people get heart palpitations, bad blood work, they get clots. There's a bunch of different confirmed side effects that happen. Myocarditis is some. Also, there's a thing about, you're supposed to, when you inject them, you're supposed to aspirate, which means when you inject it into the muscle, because it's intramuscular, you're supposed to pull back the syringe to make sure that you're not hitting a blood vessel. And they never do that.
Even on the president. If you watch the president get vaccinated on TV, and I don't think he got vaccinated on TV.
What do you mean, Joe?
I don't think they took that chance. I think there was salt water in that thing. I don't think they took that chance. I took that shit for real. I'm just saying on TV, I'm sure they probably vaccinated him.
Did you have a side effect?
Oh, I was sick as a dog. Wife was fine. I was fucked up.
What did it do to you?
It felt like I got into a car wreck or something. I was just completely sore, really sick. I remember being crazy tired. Just tired.
For how long?
Like two days.
That's not bad.
Then it bounced right back. But it felt like, where it was like, oh man, Derek, you're sick.
Holy shit. I think that's the normal reaction if it's working. Oh. See, the problem is when you have a bad reaction. Your body reacts to it in a negative way.
There's people that have had strokes and heart attacks, and people have died right after the shot. No one wants to attribute it to the shot, but a bunch of injuries they have attributed definitely directly to the shot.
Yeah. Have they confirmed it when it's happened? They won't say it's zero. Yeah. They won't say it's zero.
But the real question is like, how many people? How many people are being honest about it? How many people are even telling people about it? Because even though they feel like shit after they got vaccinated, even though they have health problems, they told people to get vaccinated. So it takes like this big moment of bravery to sort of admit, just step out and admit, I got caught up in the madness of it all, and I didn't know what the fuck I was talking about, and I was shaming people and telling people to do something.
This is New York Times now. Now, it's interesting because Alex Berenson wrote a piece about this. He said it's hardcore gaslighting, and his sub-stack, if you go to his sub-stack, it's very interesting, but this is in New York Times. Thousands believe COVID vaccines harm them. Is anyone listening?
All vaccines have at least occasional side effects, but people who say they were injured by COVID vaccines believe their cases have been ignored. Well, they have. They have been ignored. I have friends that have been ignored.
I never really hear that side of it, though. That's crazy.
Yeah. Well, if you're in that world, like I, got dragged into that world, unfortunately. I did not want to be in that world. I did not want to be in the world of arguing with people about medical information or medical facts, or just whatever fucking pharmaceutical drug company propaganda you got to battle against. Who wants to be involved in that shit?
Yeah. I'll just stay out of my life. I'll stay out of yours. You can trick people into doing this every year. You do whatever you got to do.
But once you get dragged into it, you're like, oh, this is kind of evil. I knew it was evil when they were vaccinating kids, when they were forcing kids to get vaccinated. because no data, I mean none, zero, said it was dangerous for kids. All data pointed to that. kids got over this very easy.
And that are elderly people.
Yeah. My kids got it. It was nothing. It was nothing. It's elderly people.
It's vulnerable people. It's overweight people. That was like a big percentage of the people that died.
Why do they want to vaccinate? Like for what reason?
They're making money off of it. Yeah. And also to help people feel better, that are like super anxious, that are worried their kids are going to give it to them. But it was a wild time, man, to watch the whole world lose its fucking mind. It was a wild time.
And it was a perfect time for us to come out here. It was perfect.
Perfect, Joe.
And we were right.
We were right, people.
We were right.
We were so right. We were right.
You guys are all back to normal life now, except suckier. Yeah. You guys are back in LA. You're back to normal life, but more dangerous, more crime, more sucky.
Shows are nowhere near as hot. I've been, there's. no, they are not as close to as hot as these shows in Austin, Texas. Anywhere you go, Joe, you can, in a three block span, I can get up six times. Sold out shows, all hot.
Great lineups.
That iron sharpens. iron feeling. What I got to watch when I was at the store, parking cars, and door guying, and I got to see that. Yeah. So that, I know that, oh, this is happening here.
Yeah, we set up a destination. It's a destination. For comics, it's like they're going to go visit Disneyland. And everybody's welcome, so they come all the time. And so, you know, class week, we got Colin Quinn, and Krista, Stefano, and Shane's in there all the time, and Schultz when he comes by, and Dave when he's in town.
And then Surprise, with like Howie Mandel or some shit.
You're like, what the fuck's Howie doing here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ron Weitzer, all the time. It's amazing. It's amazing.
We're lucky as shit, man. But it's almost like the universe wanted this to happen. Because all the things that had to be in place for this to happen, they're all just sort of like, you know how, when you're driving and you just keep hitting green lights? Like, the light's red, but as you're pulling up, like, do I have to slow down? No, green lights.
Bam, let's go. That's what it was like. We just kept hitting green lights. Yeah.
And everyone moving. Shane moving, and all the Philly guys here, and you feel more people are moving. Yeah.
When Duncan moved here, that was big. Tom was one of the earliest. Yeah. Tom was real early. I was telling him.
I go, dude. I go, it's awesome. here. I go, people are friendly. It's like there's no traffic, and we can do comedy.
He's like, I'm moving. That's it. Tom was out here early on.
Yeah, he was. He was here way before me. So that was cool. to see big dogs. To see, like, big dogs who have to move their families.
That's what I mean. So, to me, that's what made it more real, too, because I'm looking at it like, well, I'm a comic. I have more nothing to lose. Me and my wife have no kids. We're just kind of flying by the seat of our pants.
But when you see people get up and move their families, it's like, well, that's a decision. I don't think he's fucking around here. Like, I remember people saying, oh, he's never going to build a club. It's like, and his fucking family's here. I don't think he's playing, you know?
I was just going to do it the right way, and I wasn't talking about it. I mean, I was saying it was going to happen, but I wasn't talking about it too much. People were like, you're not going to do that. Everyone.
People were telling me I was dumb. Oh, Joe, I'm not going to say names, but you know who you fucking are. Famous comic, Sandy Rue. Oh, man, you fucked up your career. People said that to me in the summer.
Bobby Lee. Ah!
Fat fuck.
I love you. God, damn fat fucking piece of shit.
Bobby operates on fear. Yeah. Bobby operates. I love Bobby to death. Me too.
That's the thing.
I love you, dog.
But also, he doesn't really mean it. He's just kind of saying it. Like, with Bobby, everything is kind of like a gag. Like, everything. Even when he's, like, angry, he's like, are you really angry?
He starts laughing.
Yeah, and he'll start tickling you,
and you're like, oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything is kind of like, that's one of the beautiful things about Bobby. Everything's like half a gag. But also, like, the reality that he doesn't like, you know, the anxiety of that move, the whole thing, the fear of it.
And for you to do it, he's going to shit on you because you did a thing that he probably should do, too. Clearly. Yeah. I mean, I talked to him when he was out here. He's like, fuck.
I go, just move here.
Oh, they all say it. Right when they come. Right when they come. They all are like, oh. You can see it on them.
Yeah, he left the club with two beautiful ladies. I was like, where are you going, Bobby? He's like, I'll be back. I'm famous here.
Everybody loves him. I do remember he said that, though.
Yeah, they were scared. They got scared.
We all make mistakes. Get the fuck out of my face, dawg.
Shut the fuck up, Advice Boy. I'm like, what are you talking about right now, man?
Who the fuck are you talking to? Who the fuck is that guy? Give me the fuck, Joe.
I'm so glad I did, man. Just so glad I did, brother.
Yeah, man. I'm glad you did, too.
Changed my life. I mean, that helped me meet Schultz. I didn't know Schultz in L.A. Oh, that's funny. I got here, and then he was coming to San Antonio, and he hit up Tony Hinchcliffe.
Thank God for Tony. And he hit up Tony and said, hey, I need a host for tonight. And Tony said, and I'll never forget. It's awesome that Tony said this, and he showed me this, too. He said, Schultz, I got the perfect guy for you.
I think you guys will work well together. He called it. And Tony told me, he said, I have a feeling you guys are going to be friends. And now that's my brother. Like, you know, he came to the wedding.
I went to his. Like, I love that guy.
Tony is one of the unsung best guys for, like, promoting talent. You know, people don't think about Tony when they think about that, which is kind of crazy, because that's what Kill Tony is. Yes. He doesn't get the credit that he deserves for, like, starting careers. Like, there's a lot of guys that they started their career with Tony.
Yeah. And he's, like, really good at promoting people. Like, he's, like, real generous about it. Yeah. He's always talking about it.
On camera and off camera. That's what people don't see. They think, oh, he's doing it on Kill Tony. It's like, no, he's doing that off camera.
He's doing that in the green room. He'll tell us about how someone killed in the green room, about how he let someone open for him somewhere and they murdered. Yeah.
He'll tell you to be like, oh, Joe, look at this door guy, or watch this door guy. Like, I've seen him do it.
He does it all the time. Yeah. Tony loves comedy. He loves it. He fucking lives it.
He breathes it. So having that guy in town, too, was huge. Like, Tony moved real early on, too. Yeah. You know, but Tony and me, we're best friends.
We've been on the road together, like, I don't know, 150 fucking shows somewhere, somewhere around that range, probably more than that. Over the years, I mean, I've been doing shows with him for, fuck, at least 10 years. You know, I don't even know when we started doing shows together, but it had to be before 2014.. I think I met him at the Ice House, like, way back in the day. And so, like, I've seen that dude, like, really come together.
I've seen that dude, like, really become, like, a killer comedian. You know, I watched him on The Roast last night or Saturday night. Goddamn, dude. Goddamn.
That one he said about Sam Check.
Oh, she hell-naws the pussy.
She oh-hell-naws the pussy.
Oh, hell-naws it.
Oh, my God. And the one about Burt. Oh, he was going in. The Burt's a king.
The Burt's a king. The tiger king fucked the liver king. They had a liver like Rodney King.
Oh, bro.
He's the GOAT. When it comes to that Roast and shit, man, I think he the GOAT.
He's the GOAT.
I think he's the greatest.
Tony's the best. Yep. You know,
I'm not going to say it, but there were some forces that were trying to limit him from his ability to shine.
They see it. They see what he's coming for. They know he's coming for the title.
He's reckless, and that's what they're not, okay? There's a kind of, like, reckless comedy, you know, that, like, you know you're going to take the heat, but you don't give a fuck. you're going in. That's reckless. That's Tony.
Tony's reckless. He's driving fast, and he's going to crash. It's like he's going to crash, but he's just, like, real confident in his mechanic.
Yeah, he goes, man.
He goes. He's just going for the comedy, and that's what comedy used to be, right? Yeah. And now there's a lot of people today that that's not what comedy is for them anymore. Now they're, like, trying to color inside the lines, and there's people that want to be funny, but they also kind of want to appeal to the wokesters.
Yes.
They want to appeal to this ridiculous ideology. that's very controlling, but if they do, then the comments that they read on Twitter will be positive, because those are the kind of, like, socially retarded cunts that sit at home all day and complain about things. So if you want to get their input, you have to kind of, like, feed into their nonsense.
And that ruins comedy.
It ruins comedy.
That ruins it.
It ruins great comics. It does. It turns great comics into cowards.
Yeah, you see it. You can see it while they're on stage. Like, oh, you're worried about an acting job in the back of your head. It's not even a real job. You don't even have it yet.
It's just a job in the future that you might, I don't want to piss off. It's like, bro, it's not even a real thing.
Yeah, the connection between comedy and Hollywood is one of the worst ideas of all time. It would be like the connection of Alcoholics, Anonymous and rock shows. Literally, like, that's literally how bad it is of a connection.
Yeah, they don't belong in the same universe.
No, no. But the thing is, like, they offered that carrot up to us. They dangled that money carrot, that carrot of TV. Ooh, Derek, don't you want to be in the movies? Ooh, Derek, don't you want to host your own sitcom or be on a sitcom or host a late-night talk show?
But as a kid, that's what you see. You're like, wow, everybody loves Raymond. Like, all these great things, and they are great. But you're like.
One of the best things that happened to us was the Internet, because the Internet did a bunch of different things. One, it made comics valuable to each other instead of in competition with each other. Because not only do we—everybody has a show, right? If you have podcasts. All our friends have shows, right?
So not only do they have shows, but you can have them on as a guest or you can go on their show when you need to promote something. And then we all help each other. And then we tell you, hey, check out Derek and the son doing this thing. Check out Tony. Check out William.
And everybody does that. And then everybody grows. Like, there's no—nobody loses. Whereas in Hollywood, if you were the host of The Tonight Show and I wanted to be the host of The Tonight Show, I'd be like, fuck, Derek. I need that job.
I want that job. When I was a kid, I wanted to be the host of The Tonight Show. But Derek's the host. God damn it. I fucking hate Derek.
I hope he crashes his car. I hope he gets hooked on heroin. And that's how it was. I mean, that's that whole thing with David Letterman and Jay Leno. When Jay Leno was waiting, he was hiding in the closet, son.
Hiding in the closet while they were having a conversation about him.
That's too much. That's insane. That's fucking insane.
Insane.
And then I know that thing between him and Conan. It's just like, bro, fuck all that.
Also, Jimmy Kimmel's chiming in. Everybody's chiming in. Remember when Jimmy Kimmel berated Jay Leno for trying to take Conan's job?
Conan's job.
Hey, if Conan was killing it, that job wouldn't be available.
That's how that works.
Yeah, that's how it works. But they did handcuff, Conan. when Conan took over Tonight Show. Because Jay Leno did his show at 10 o'clock. Like, right before it, right?
He did it during primetime hours. So, like, he can't do that.
That's bullshit. Yeah. Just even hearing all that, like, damn, I'm so glad I'm in this era. Fuck that. The idea of, like you said, just going on each other's podcast.
Since you started podcast, Joe, pretty much, did you see? Because when you started, you must not have known that, like, oh, we're all going to go on each other's. When did you see that become, like, oh, this is?
Well, it was the attitude that we had about the store, was the same attitude that transferred into podcast. Because the attitude at the store, even in, like, the early 2000s, like when things were popping there, the attitude was, like, very supportive. If you were cool. If you're cool and all you want to do is just be friendly and hang out and have a good time, everybody was cool with you. If there was a real disagreement with people, 100%, someone was a cunt.
100%. It wasn't just competitive bullshit. But in the 90s, man, dudes would, like, say shit to you before you went on stage to try to fuck with your confidence. They'd make fun of your clothes or talk about your hair or something. Just say something to you right before you went on stage.
I was like, what? That sucks, bro. Bro. Bro, there was people that would, like, mock your act. They would, like, mock laugh from the back of the room, like, ha-ha.
You would hear comics say that and then leave the room. Oh.
If I'm having a bad set, man, I know. Like, I'm aware.
That's crazy. Bro, there were so many haters. I remember there was dudes who were sitting in the back of the open mic night heckling open micers because they wanted them to leave so they could get up earlier.
Yeah. Like, get this fucking show over. Next. Like, what? This person just darted.
What are you doing?
I might fucking kill you. I would be so upset. I would be. That's crazy to do to somebody.
There's also, like, certain dudes, like, say, if you are, right now, you're, like, a traveling middle act and there's a kid who's an open miker and you see him coming and he starts building up momentum, and then he starts going on the road and then all of a sudden this guy is headlining before. you are. What the fuck? And that happens. And then he's selling out places.
Fuck him. You believe he's selling out theaters, man? Who the fuck? You believe that guy's selling out theaters? And you're sitting in the fucking hallway of the comedy store.
You believe that guy's selling out theaters, man? This is bullshit.
I was in the hallway.
That's a stupid, old, dumb mentality. That stupid, old famine mentality from mentally ill people who are narcissists. And they just can't believe that other people are having success too. It's not even that they're not doing pretty good. It's like no one's ever happy if someone's doing better.
Thank God for my best friends. Brian Simpson, every time he gets anything, and I mean anything in his career, and you know how big he is, every time, the first time he got on Rogan, the first time he got the Netflix thing, he looks right at me every time and goes, You're next. Derek, you're next. No matter what he gets, he goes, Derek, you're next. And it's just to hear that every time from a guy that you were like, Man, I want to be like this guy.
This guy's the best comic I know.
Yeah, super supportive.
It means everything.
It means everything.
When you have that kind of environment, it feels good for everybody. This is what's important. The selfish feeling that you want no one to do better than you, and you want to be number one, and then, if you see people doing better than you, you get angry, that selfish feeling, it ruins you. Because it ruins your relationships with those people. You could have the exact same circumstances happen and be super happy for everybody.
Yeah. For you and for you. There's no tension. There's no need to it. There's no need for it.
And if someone makes you feel bad, like if you watch someone, they're so good they make you feel bad, go to work.
Go to work. That's a good feeling. That's good.
When Natal was in town, I would watch Natal and be like, I want to go home and write. I want to go home and write. This fucking guy is like a Zen master up there. He's like effortlessly killing. Yes.
In a way that's like so – and so ridiculous and so unique. I was like, God, this is so good. But if you're a hater, that's poison. You're watching – you're getting the exact opposite feeling from the same exact scene, the same scene. There's guys that – I've seen guys sit in the back room, they were watching Chris Rock, and they're watching Chris Rock with their arms crossed, like this, like wanting him to suck, wanting him to suck, not wanting him to do well, not just enjoying it.
Enjoy him. This is –.
Why would you get into comedy? Yes. Aren't you a fan of this? It only has to be you? You're the only one that could be funny?
That's crazy. That's crazy. You can't have a good time? So you're missing out on having a good time, just so you could be selfish. There's a zero upside.
And it ruins your – like now you're at home, man. It just ruins your day, your whole – like everything's ruined.
And if someone does fail, that you wanted to fail and you feel good, you should be embarrassed. You should be embarrassed by that feeling. You should be like, what a weak bitch I am.
You hit it with a Sebastian. You should be embarrassed.
You should be embarrassed. You really should.
You should, 100%.
But I think this is all like. people need to learn this. You need to learn this and learn it in a way where it doesn't feel bad. if you take it on. You don't feel like a fool, because we've all been fools.
I've been a fool. Everyone in this room, everyone listening, has been a fool. We've all been a fucking moron. That's how you learn and grow in life. But if you stick to the old ways, you'll just be unhappy and mentally ill.
Yeah.
Yeah, your therapist is not going to save you.
I mean, Joe, I learned – you might even remember this. I learned a lesson in comedy, being young and just talking too much and just being kind of angry and wanting more. And you talked to me. I don't know if you remember that. You got on me one time.
Hey, Derek, you got to shut up, man. I don't even remember you telling me to do this.
When was this? Was that at the store?
This was at the store. What were you complaining about? I was just running my mouth complaining about I want more. I just wanted more. I just wanted more, and I was talking too much.
At the end of the day, I want to get all this, but I was talking too much. And you did that, and that was good. I needed that.
Yeah, sometimes we get wrapped up in our own shit. Like the process is long. Like if I was trying to tell someone right now to be a comic, and they were, like, 26 years old, I'd be like,
Like, if you make it. If you make it. You know, you've got to be willing to throw it all away, and you've got to be willing to go through this weird path where you want things, and they're not happening, and you get angry, and that's where you were. Yes. You wanted things, and I was like, Derek, you've got to be undeniable.
Yes.
You've got to be undeniable. When you're undeniable, it's all going to come your way. But all this talk is not good for anybody.
It's crazy. I'm glad I went through that. You know what I mean? I'm glad that that happened to me because at the time it felt like, you know, you're like, oh. But, man, I'm glad I went through it because now it's just so much better to enjoy.
You appreciate it.
Appreciate it.
Yeah, and it's almost like you have to go through. I had those feelings. I remember being at an open mic night, and I wasn't on the list. I couldn't get on the list. I was angry.
Like, why can't I go up? This is bullshit. Yeah. I'm funnier than this person.
You start saying things like that. And it's like, well, what is it?
But it's just like you just have to deal with the grind. It's like the part. It's part of the thing. Part of the thing. It's like what makes you better.
It's like those uncomfortable things they build inside of you. Those uncomfortable moments and feelings, they add inspiration. They add determination. They add discipline. They make you focus more.
Yes. They make you listen to tapes. They make you go over your – go through your notebook, you know?
Man, I really appreciate those Comedy Store times. I think everyone should be – not a dork, but, man, it's good. I think it's just good for you to just sit and learn. You have no choice. You're there.
What's dope about the Comedy Store, too, was the fact that there was a real attitude that everyone was a comic, including the dork people. The dork people, to me, were me when I was 23.. I was like, what's up? What's going on, man? Everything cool?
Met you. Big hug. First thing you did. Yo, what's up? New guy.
I remember. I remember like it was yesterday, dude. All you guys. Oh, man. Yeah.
The coolest thing – one of the coolest things about stand-up that I learned from you, Joe, it was – so when I got there, you were finishing Triggered. Like, you were – that was about to come out. So you were doing the – on the stool bit, the Caitlyn Jenner. I mean, it was so tight. You were going – standing O's.
every time you did it. It was nuts. Then the special came out. And then you start gearing up for Strange Times. And the only person I've ever heard they say would do this was Richard Pryor, where he would come in after you dropped a special, and he would bang out material, and you'd see it.
For the first time, you're like, okay, I kind of see the skeleton. I saw the skeleton of Strange Times. I'm like, all right, I guess. And then the next day, you'd see the little bit of muscle on it. And the next – you didn't – you never abandoned it.
Even though it wasn't hitting like how the other stuff was hitting, or some nights. it wasn't going as well as maybe you wanted it to, you never abandoned it. You never were like, oh, I'm going to do crowd work. Oh, I'm going to say an old bit and get out of this. No.
And then I saw Strange Times become Strange Times. And that was amazing to see, Joe.
It takes a long time to get a bit going. And if you bail on it, when you – every one of my bits, except for a few, sucked in the beginning. There's just – they're clunky. Yes. You don't know how to do it right.
You can see, you were trying to find it, you know?
Oh, it's a terrible process. Terrible. It's a terrible process. It really is. It's a terrible process.
Brian Simpson did it the smartest way. What Brian did was he had his whole hour laid out, and then, before he filmed his hour, he created a new hour. So he started adding material to his set over the course of a year until he had another.
hour.
And so then, he films the special and he's got an extra hour.
That's Brian Simpson. That's Brian Simpson. Brian Simpson plans for the future. He has his socks laid out by his bed. You know what I'm saying?
Brian has his socks laid out. He's planning for the future. Brian gave me a book on what to do if the world collapses. He gave us all that book. Yes.
Like the Book of Man or something.
Yes. Whatever it is, the book. I think it's called The Book. The Book. It's how to rebuild society.
I was like, what the fuck are you planning, Brian?
Brian's got books planned on how to save society.
Yes. He's one of one, man.
Yes. We're real lucky. We're real lucky. And he's another guy that came out here really early. Yes.
So when everybody was out here early, I had gone through this thing where I had the first club and the deal fell apart, the cult house. The cult house. Yes. God damn, I'm glad we didn't get that one. That would have ruined everything.
Yes.
That would not have been as. No. Because the placement of this one.
It's perfect. The fact that it's on that maniac street. Yes. Yes. That street's alive, dude.
Yes.
That street's alive.
I like that because, as an audience member, when you get there, you're like, you're now awake. You don't get to wander in. It's not in a mall or some shit. It's like, no, you're awake now.
Well, when the deal fell through with the cult place and then we walked into that movie theater, when it was a movie theater still, I remember walking in there, going, oh shit. Like, okay. This is, it was so clear. It was like you hear a sound in the distance of the direction you're supposed to go to. Boom.
Okay, here we go. That's how it felt. It really felt like that. It felt like, God damn, man, this place is alive. This place has, like, it's, got memories.
Stevie Ray Vaughn. Stevie Ray Vaughn was on that stage. Willie Nelson was on that stage.
Willie Nelson was on that stage?
Yeah, man. All those dudes in the green room, all those posters are in the green room. Yeah. Those are all real shows from the Ritz.
Yeah. I did not know that.
Yeah, man. A lot, a lot of bands played there. A lot of bands.
Yeah. So you could feel it in the walls.
There's a lot of things happening in that place. It used to be a pool hall. It used to be a nudie movie theater. at one point. There's jizz in there, bro.
Buckets of jizz. There's a movie theater for the longest time, where it was an Alamo draft house. That was like more than 10 years. It was a lot of things. It was a punk rock bar at one point in time.
Wow. That place has got history. It's from 1827..
1927, right? Is that right? Yeah. 1927.. Yeah, 1927.
1927.
. It's 100 years old, essentially, or close to it.
I mean, it's very Comedy Store vibes, because the Comedy Store used to be Ciro's. It was like where the Mafia would be and all these cool, weird stories. You could feel the building. You could feel it. This does have that Mitzi's feels.
You could feel it in Mitzi's late night. It's full of energy and that. It's awesome.
It's also the energy that's been baked in just in the year that we've been open. Bro, that year, flew by. That year, flew by. It did. It, flew by.
It makes me think I'm going to be dead real soon.
I don't have much time.
How much time do you have? If I go through 50 more of those, it'll be a miracle.
That's not going to happen. I know. I'm going to go through 50 of them. It's not possible.
Did you think that? When you set it up, like I'm setting this up for when I'm gone, this baby, like the Comedy Store, it'll just run.
Well, I didn't think that, no. I just thought set up the best thing you can set up. That's all I thought. I thought like I have this crazy, unique moment where not only did the world shut down and Texas didn't, but also all these comedians came out here to do shows, and I have this Spotify deal. And I'm like, okay, I'm supposed to do this.
Like if anybody's supposed to do this, like if you were a kid and they said to you, if you got all this money, what would you do? You know what I'd do? I'd make the ultimate amusement park.
Just for me and my friends.
But nobody ever does that. You know, like people get fuck you money and they never say fuck you. And I don't get that. Like, if you have fuck you money and you don't say fuck you, what you're doing is it's a crime against fortune. You have the incredible fortune to have fuck you money.
The incredible luck, the incredible fortune to be in this weird position where all these comedians decided to come to this place because you and your friends were there. I mean, like Ron White's, the, he's the fucking leader of the pack.
Pied Piper.
He's the Pied Piper. Because Ron was out here before COVID. Ron was out here in like 2017, I think, or 18..
Was he retired yet already or no?
He wasn't retired, but he was like, I fly out of Austin. It's much easier. You're in the middle. You can fly fucking two and a half hours to New York, two and a half hours to L.A. Fucking people are nice.
Food's amazing. I was like, damn, maybe I could, because I had always entertained leaving L.A. But the store just always kept me there. The store and my friends. Yeah.
Jiu-Jitsu. I mean, I tried for a while. Tried moving to Colorado for a little bit. But the store always pulled me back. It's like that, there's, you can't replicate that.
You did. Yeah. Well, that's why I felt like there's no other way it could have ever happened. All those things had to happen in place, where the comedy store had to get shut down, so we can get all the people that worked at the comedy store to come over and start the mothership. People like Eric and Curtis and Adam.
Yeah, and Jody and Carrie. Carrie. Carrie's the shit. If it wasn't for Carrie. The mom.
She's the best. But she was always the best at the store. So when she's over there, it's like, oh, this is wonderful. And then she knew all the right servers. And then we get this vibe going.
And then the whole idea, and Adam's, it was Adam's idea to do it the same way. the store was. I was a little apprehensive. Like, man, comics cause problems when they're employees. Like, a lot of us are dirtbags.
Yeah. A lot of us are crazy. Joe, I robbed the comedy store.
I robbed that fucking place. Peter's listening. Shh.
Shh.
You'll be back in Headline. I'll make it up for you.
Yeah, I promise. I'll make it up.
But it wasn't just me, baby.
Hasan, Brian, we all owe you money. Oh, yeah. I'm sure. You were just hustling. I mean, we're hustling because it's like, well, I'm only making a couple bucks.
I didn't get up. I'm going to fucking hustle this door.
Trying to stay alive.
Trying to stay alive.
Yeah. I mean, but there was that problem. I was like, but Adam was like, yeah, but you know what? There's something really cool about people, like, auditioning. And because now Adam is running it, so we didn't have to have this, like, this is one of the things that I told him.
Because there's a pressure that he had in L.
A. to have, like, X amount of women and X amount of gay people. Like, people talked about it. And they would email him. They'd complain to him.
People would confront him. You know, how come you don't have more women on your lineup? Girls, girl comics would say. I said, listen, man, this is 100% meritocracy. I know you're not sexist.
I know you're not racist. I know you're not homophobic. You don't care. All you care about, you speak the language of funny. This will be a pure meritocracy.
And if you're really good, you're going to get through. And if you're bullshitting and just using whatever the fuck group you're a part of as, like, a Willy Wonka golden ticket, thinking it's going to get you a career, fuck you. Okay, that shit doesn't work here. You know?
I love that. And with that, there is a, the best way to make a diverse show is just, like you said, put the funniest people up. The show will naturally, it will naturally diversify itself, baby.
There's so many different people working there. Everybody's different. And different in all kinds of ways. There's gay and straight, and there's black and white and Asian. No one fucking cares.
Yep. I don't even notice it, because all we think of is funny.
No one cares. Yeah. No one cares. All that cares, are you funny?
Yep.
Can you go up there and do the damn thing?
Assad did 9-11.
. No one gives a fuck. He's just a funny dude. We all just forgive him. That's how funny that piece of shit is.
Boy, he's come a long way, man. That dude. Joey Diaz was just telling me on the phone yesterday. I was on the phone with Joey yesterday. He's like, well, Assad blew my mind.
He goes, he blew my mind. I remember that gig when he was just starting out. Yeah. He's out there. He's fucking, Joey's coming.
He's coming.
Joey's moving.
He's coming again in a couple weeks. He's going to be back. He's going to be back for quite a while. And then we're going to get him a place. He's going to get a place on, just in the neighborhood.
He's moving, Joe.
He's got to move here. He's moving. He can't stay in New Jersey. I'll do respect to New Jersey. I'll do respect.
He needs to be around his peers.
You saw it. When he was here, you could feel it on him, man. And as the days went, how much more comfortable. Like, oh, he started moving like Joey did. When Joey would be in the main room, and it was like that.
When he left Fat Man, we were like, oh, he's in. He's back. Oh, shit.
His wife's down too. She gets it. She's the best. She's the best. So it's perfect.
So when Joey gets here, that'll change everything. God damn, that's going to change everything. I've been working on Theo. Theo's coming soon. He's going to be here.
What's today? He's going to be here in 10 days. Yeah. So we'll have Theo here for a couple weeks. And then Theo said he might come down for the whole month of July.
You're fucking Samuel L. Jackson with the Avengers, baby. You're just getting them all, rounding them up. I'm recruiting, man.
I'm recruiting. But I only want people that want to be here. Like, if you don't want to be here, it's like, I get it. I get it. There's no pressure.
You don't have to come here, but it would be nice. It's fun. Joe DeRosa got a place here. Joe DeRosa's here now.
Let's go. DeRosa's the man. DeRosa's the man. But everyone, you're saying, also, great, phenomenal beast of a comic.
Yeah, and nice people. That's the big thing. The big thing is all real friendly, real nice people. And the more of that, the better. And there's plenty of spots.
There's so many clubs. And Red Band's Club's killing it. How long was it? A 13-second walk from my club to Red Band's Club?
You can get up.
v1.0.0.260408-1-a910ba6_os