You Can Have a Great Christmas on a Budget!
2023-12-08 01:58:02
The Ramsey Show believes you can build wealth and take control of your life—no matter what stupid mistakes you've made with money. Join as Dave Ramsey and his team of experts answer your questions on the top problems holding you back. Listen now or ask your question live by calling 888.825.5225 weekdays from 2–5 p.m. ET. Learn more at www.ramseysolutions.com
Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create amazing relationships. I'm Ramsey Personality, George Campbell, joined by my good friend and one of America's favorite Johns, Dr. John Deloney. And we are here for you, America, taking your calls at 888-825-5225.. Maybe you need some advice, some motivation, maybe you need to take that next step with that broken relationship, the toxic boss, the debt that's been hanging over your head for far too long, and you're just ready to make some changes and live a better, more peaceful life.
That's what we're all about on this show. Mary is going to kick us off in Cleveland, Ohio. Mary, welcome to the show.
Hi, how are you doing today?
Doing well, how are you?
I'm going to be honest, I'm a little nervous and anxious right now.
We got you, Mary. It's just us here. Just us girls. Let's talk.
Okay.
What's going on?
So, I'm calling in because my husband is a gambling addict and has been since January of this year when it became legal in Ohio.
It has caused the heaviest toll on our marriage, on our relationship, our family, and I'm at the point where I have tried many routes with this, trying to be very gracious on how I go about it, trying to be respectful as a wife, trying to support his mistakes, but trying to get him the help he needs, and nothing is working. And at this point, he is very adamant about continuing to do it. And I'm at the point where I feel that I need to take my daughter and take a step away, not divorce, but maybe take some separation until he figures it out. But I honestly don't want to have to do that, but I don't know what else to do right now.
What makes you think that, or what's happening that you feel like, I need to get me and my daughter out of this to be safe?
Well, I mean….
I think you're right. I think you're right, by the way, but I want you to just articulate. Something else is going on. Like, what's happening in your home?
It's just an extremely tense environment. We argue all the time.
Are you arguing because he's losing thousands and thousands of dollars, or arguing because he's glued to his phone all the time and he's angry because he wins and loses? Or, as is most of the time, the gambling behavior and the addictive actions that keep this compulsion is indicative of a much bigger issue. in your marriage. Y'all don't talk to each other. You don't listen to each other.
There's no intimacy. It's just become a mess. And gambling is the way he's choosing to handle that global dysfunction inside your home.
Correct.
Okay. All of it?
Yes. And, I mean, the lying, is the biggest thing as well.
Sure. So, anytime somebody has a boundary inside of a marriage that they're thinking about laying down, right? Like, this is my final straw. This is my line that I won't cross anymore. I always want to encourage them to have an or what statement, because the person they lay the boundary down is going to want to know.
Can you give an example?
Yes. So, you need to have an or what statement. You sit down with your husband and say, if we don't go to marriage counseling by the end of this weekend, or if we don't have a date on the calendar by the end of this weekend and it's next week, and if you don't go, here's the or what. Me and our daughter are moving out.
Okay.
Period. You just have to be prepared for the or what, because the or what comes with a lot of complexity. And I know it sounds super cool to be like, you can Google this and on these stupid websites, they're going to tell you, like, just leave him. You don't deserve – that sounds all well and good. But there is a significant financial complexity to this, right?
Yeah, and I mean, I really don't want it to have to come to that. Of course not. I still love him. Of course you do. And we're a family together.
Of course you do. I want you to keep this front and center as you move forward. You are simply doing what you have to do to keep your family safe and, responding to somebody that's thrown a grenade inside your home. Yeah. You're not the one doing this, and he will paint you as the villain here.
He has.
That's right. Because he gets to do whatever he wants to do whenever he wants to do it, with, quote, unquote, y'all's money, and he can – you're just whining and nagging and complaining and on – online gambling, online sports gambling is destroying individuals and homes across this country, period. And, dude, I always watch the fights. I love watching the games. I love having fun with my friends.
So it's not that I'm like this fuddy-duddy that sits in my house and plays bingo all the time. I love the whole environment, and yet this is destroying people. Yeah. And you've told him that, and he has told you, I don't really care what you have to say. I'm going to keep doing whatever I want to do.
Yeah. And, I mean, it's been the past few months. I guess, to give just some quick context, so pretty much in a lump sum, he has spent between $30,000 and $40,000..
Has he lost it?
Oh, yeah, like he's lost all of it. We don't – there's no – I mean, he's won a couple thousand here or a hundred here, things like that. But it's – he's all together. since the beginning of this year. It's been around $40,000..
And can we be honest? This is what you know about. I promise there's more.
This is all I know about. That's right. I promise there's more.
Let me ask you a very tactical question. If you move out, do you have a job? Do you have money?
Yes, I have a job, but we – so he's in nursing school, so –.
Hold on, hold on, hold on. He is making choices. You're keeping yourself safe. If he's in nursing school, then he gets to take care of his – pay for nursing. He gets to make all those choices on his own.
You need to have your four walls covered for you and your baby if you choose to separate.
Do you have your own bank account?
Yes, I actually did, probably about a month ago. at this point. That was one of the steps I took was separating our finances.
Good. We never recommend that, except in this moment. Does it direct – does your check direct deposit into that account?
It's still in our joint, and I will just say so pretty much because we don't have any – like, we don't have any financial security right now. So, with my job and his job, we get paid each week. So, I get paid, and then he gets paid, the following and so on and so forth. So, with our money that we have right now, I want to take money from, like, my check and put it into ours, but then all the bills come out from our joint because we haven't switched any of those yet. So, all of, like, pretty much each paycheck that we get each week is going towards bills, going towards groceries and gas, and then there's nothing left over.
I want you to get with a friend, and I want you to map this out. Okay.
Okay?
Okay. And you're going to have to move your direct deposit to your new account. And you know as well as I do, he's going to hit the roof, isn't he?
Yeah. He already did when I – I mean, everything I do, he does.
That's right. Are you safe?
Yes.
Okay. He's not going to hit you or hurt you?
No.
Okay. So, we are getting with a friend, and we're going to map this out. What's an apartment going to cost? What are the light and water bill going to cost? And we're going to get all this mapped out and lined out.
We're going to make sure that our check can cover that, and you might need to get some new hours and all that kind of stuff, child care, all those things. And then we're going to sit down and be very articulate and clear about my or what statement. This changes, or here's what I'm going to do. You can't control anything he does. You can only control what you do.
I hate that you're in this situation. Stay on the line. We're going to hook you up with every dollar so you can begin to control what you can control. if and when you have to step away. We'll be right back.
Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm George Campbell, joined by Dr. John Deloney. Give us a call at 888-825-5225.. If you want to jump into the conversation and talk about your money, your life, your relationships, your mental health, your boundaries, or lack thereof, we want to help you take the right next step.
Shelly joins us up next in Dallas, Texas. Shelly, welcome to the show.
Hi. Thank you for taking my calls. I'm really just calling because I've been listening to the show a lot, and I know the baby steps and everything. And I know that I'm in a position where I can afford therapy, but my question is just—well, it's not more of a question. It's just an emotional issue around spending the money on therapy.
I just feel bad. I know I need it, and my husband supports me, but, you know, it just makes me feel bad to spend. It costs a lot, and my insurance doesn't cover the license therapy part of it.
So what's it going to cost for you to get this help?
Well, I've been looking at, like, better help, and, you know, I even saw some more affordable options, too. So I did sign up with better help, but I'm just feeling like I'll try it for the first four weeks and then cancel it.
I'll start it, and I started therapy before, but it was just costing, like, $100 a week.
So do you feel like this is a wasteful expense in your budget right now? Like, hey, this money should be going toward this. What's behind that?
I start feeling like, I don't know. It's part of my anxiety. It's part of the reason why I think I need therapy.
Well, I think it has nothing to do with money. I think money is the excuse that presents itself, that gives you an out, so that you don't have to go through this fire where healing's on the other side of it.
Yeah, it could be. I don't know.
I think you should go.
It's all confusing.
Honestly, the feelings might be confusing, but even if you guys were up to your eyeballs in debt and you needed to go to counseling, we would tell you to stop paying off your debt, pause, and go to counseling. Get the help you can care that you need.
Yeah, I'm trying to wrap, I'm trying to, you can tell yourself, I know this is so important, my health, but it just feels, it just hurts to pay it. I don't know. I was raised poor, grew up in a poor family, and we're doing really well now, and I just feel like we need to pay for the future.
That's it right there. You know why? Because when you grew up, other people, those people over there, they got counseling.
They took, quote, unquote, took care of themselves. We don't got time for that. We don't need that. Only weaklings and wimps do that.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah. Those people. You didn't even want to say, oh, I need therapists because you would, in my family, it would be like, oh, well, you're crazy.
You know what, in your family, tell me if I'm wrong, in your family, you didn't say that you needed anything.
No, I actually struggled with an eating disorder and everything, starting when I was a teenager. Now I'm in my 40s and having panic attacks. I had a traumatic event last year, medical, with neuropathy for chronic pain for like eight months in my face.
It's time. It's time.
And I can't sleep without heavy medicine.
It's time.
It's time. Whatever it takes.
If there was a medication, Shelley, that was $300 a month, but it changed your life, would you say that was a worthy $300 to spend? that wasn't wasteful?
Yeah. Well, I am spending a lot on my psychiatrist for the medicine, so I have to have that or I just can't function.
But your psychiatrist has been telling you for a long time, I'm going to give you these meds, but you need to go talk to somebody, haven't they?
Yeah, he did say CBT would help me.
Correct. It's time.
I think we need to refile this in our brain, as this is not a wasteful thing that I could be spending in this. And this is, it's too much in our budget into, hey, this is like paying for insurance. This is keeping the lights on. This is paying for the Internet bill. This is going to add so much utility and value to my life that I can't imagine not doing it.
And it may not be forever. This may be a season that you go through and then it's over.
Yeah, I was kind of wondering about, I know everyone's different, but I was wondering about, like on average, kind, of how, how long it could take. You know, I've had friends tell me, oh, it took so-and-so a year to really, but I mean, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
If you've struggled with disordered eating since you were a child and you grew up in a pretty tough place and it's a pretty tough situation. And if you think so little of yourself that the idea of spending money to make sure you're whole and well so that you can show up for you and for your husband and for others. If that shuts your body down or sets off your body's alarms, it's going to be a while. So I think it's counterproductive. I'm telling you, it's counterproductive to say, OK, I'll give you four and then I quit.
That's like going to the, to the car dealer and saying, or to the mechanic and saying, hey, everything's broken on the car. You got 30 minutes and then I'm just gonna come pick it up.
Yeah.
I want you to completely reframe this.
And I put the stress on myself that, I put the stress on myself that I feel like I have to hurry up and fix myself in this amount of time.
Right. And you're not somebody, listen, I used a bad analogy. You're not somebody to be fixed. OK. You're not broken.
Your body's working exactly as it should, given the set of circumstances you grew up in, plus some genetics. And what you're going to learn is different ways your body can get through a day. That's what counseling is going to do. It's going to let you practice. It's going to teach you relationship.
It's going to teach you some new skills. Over time, your body's going to learn, hey, we weren't safe then. We're safe now. All of that is worthy of an investment. Go.
Don't think twice about it. And listen to this. This is important. Your feelings are not designed to tell you the truth. Your feelings are designed to keep you safe, given a set of circumstances.
So this morning, I did not feel like writing in a journal. I didn't.
But I did it. Because I'm a better husband and a better dad. on the other side of that, when I get all this crap out of my head and out of my body and onto a piece of paper. I will not feel like working out. when I get home tonight.
I won't feel like it at all. I'm tired. It's the weekend. And I'm going to go do it because I promised myself I would. And it makes me a better.
fill in the blank, fill in the blank. So your feelings, I feel like I want to quit. Cool. I get that. I'm going to acknowledge those feelings.
That's real. And then I'm going to keep going. And I feel like I'm wasting money. Cool. Your body grew up poor.
It put a GPS pin in poverty. It put a GPS pin in. stop spending money on quote, unquote. you getting well. Cool.
I feel that. And I'm going to go anyway. Because I'm going to get. well. I'm worth being well.
That's a good word, John. And tactically, Shelly, adding this as a line item in your every dollar budget, that's Shelly's therapy. And then, you know, what's going to happen is December is going to feel like, oh gosh, that $300 came out for those sessions. Then January, it's like, oh yeah, we have that in the budget. Then February, it's like, oh yeah, we've had this in the budget.
And all of a sudden it becomes normal. Especially as you excel through the baby steps and you get to a different place. financially. There's expenses in my wife and I's budget that, you know, 23-year-old George would be like, whoa, that guy's blowing some money. And to us, it's, no, we're buying ourselves peace.
We're buying our time back with some of these things. And therapy is not a luxury. It is financially for people who can't afford it. But it's not a frivolous expense. It's definitely worth being.
well. And John talks about this in his new book, Building a Non-Anxious Life, which I'd love to send Shelly a copy of that, John, if you don't mind. Absolutely.
And stay on the line. I'm going to hook you up with three free months of BetterHelp with my friends there, okay? I'm going to take that excuse away. Three free months of BetterHelp. But if you and your therapist decide, hey, it's probably best if you keep going, I want you to keep going and stay plugged in.
That's very kind of you, John. You wield that kind of power here on the Ramsey Show.
I don't. I've got an extraordinary partner with BetterHelp, and they really, really care about people getting well. And so it's their generosity, not mine.
That's very kind. So hang on the line, Shelly. We're going to send you a copy of Dr. John Deloney's bestselling book, Building a Non-Anxious Life, and three months of BetterHelp on us to get you started on this path. We are cheering you on, and I'm proud of you.
That's not an easy thing to call into a national radio show and put that all out there and go, I'm struggling with this. I want to get the help I need. And I know a lot of people are benefiting from this call who probably need to take that next step too, John.
Dude, I remember being a 6'2", 195-pound Texas male sitting at my kitchen table while my little boy was asleep and my wife was asleep in the other room weeping at my kitchen table because I knew I had to. And I also felt like such a wimp and such a weakling and such a coward and all those things. And I went, and it's changed everything. Go, get the help and care that you need.
Thanks so much for the call, Shelly. More of your calls coming up. The number is 888-825-5225.. We'll be right back.
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Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm George Campbell, joined by Dr. John Deloney. We've got a lot going on right now at the Ramsey Solutions store. on our website, at ramseysolutions.com.
Including our $12 sale, we can get a lot of meaningful gifts for Christmas right now. Best-selling books like The Total Money Makeover, Baby Steps, Millionaires, Own Your Past, Change Your Future. Just $12 each. And Questions for Humans, Conversations, cards from my friend Dr. John Deloney.
As low as $10 right now. And the Christmas edition is back. That one sells out quick. You'll also notice a whole bunch of new stuff. Our friend Jade Warshaw launched a new quick read this week called Money's Not a Math Problem.
Rachel Cruz has a great new kids book out, Beautifully Illustrated, called I'm Glad for What I Have. We've got the 2024 Ramsey Goal Planner. And, of course, my new book, Breaking Free from Broke, is now on pre-sale. And the support has been overwhelming. So thank you to all of you who have pre-ordered that book.
And have made your shopping list a little easier with the ramseysolutions.com store. Getting meaningful gifts, John. That's what it's all about. I don't know what you buy for Christmas. Are you getting your kids anything exciting?
Dude, I have a problem.
Yeah. Do you want to talk about this off-air?
I just love buying gifts.
That's very kind of you.
There was many years when I couldn't.
Now you're making up for lost time.
Yeah, but it's sometimes about me and not about them.
It's very self-aware.
I said on the show the other day, I told my son, we were out having a meal together. And I said, hey, this year we're not just getting you a bunch of junk. And I'm going to get you a couple of really important things and a this and a this. And he just smiled at me and goes, you can't do that, Dad.
And he's like, watch me.
Well, he was right. He's like, Dad, we don't need the stuff, but you can't do it. So cool. And it was good. So I called his bluff.
He didn't get crap this year. Just kidding. He'll get a bunch of junk. Take that.
That's very kind of you.
I just like buying gifts.
I can't wait to see what you get me this Christmas, John.
Yeah.
Maybe three months of better help is in the cards. for me. That would be nice.
No, I got you a Razor.
A scooter?
No.
Oh, for my face. For your face. I should not have been that excited about a Razor scooter, I'm going to be honest. Oh, my goodness. All right.
Let's get to the lines. Ryan awaits in Syracuse, New York. Ryan, welcome to the show.
Hey, guys. Can you hear me?
Yes. How can we help today?
All right. Thanks for having me. I'm very blessed to be here. Absolutely. Mr.
Campbell, congrats on the new book as well.
Oh, thank you. I appreciate that.
I just wanted to get your guys' take. My wife and I just, we're starting to get more of a budget together. We download the EveryDollar app. We've been trying to get more responsible with budgeting and everything. We do have some debt that we want to try clearing up over the course of the next few years, hopefully.
We have two kids and balancing that life and debt and everything. I just wanted to get your guys' take on it as much as possible.
Okay. Well, give us a little more specificity here. What's your income and how much debt do you have?
More specifically, the big things are we have a HELOC, unfortunately, that we did take out. That's about $11,800 for renovations in the home.
I specifically have about $170,000 in student loans, and my wife has about $50,000..
Bro, are you a surgeon?
No. I'm a hospital pharmacist.
I did get passport certification to be specialized in infectious disease, so I'm hoping that takes me a little farther in my career.
My wife is an elementary teacher, and she has her master's in education. The $50,000 is her graduate master's, and then I did do quite a few years of schooling.
I guess my question is we've been trying to get better with budgeting. Our take-home monthly between her and I is about $10,500,.
so it's about $125,000 a year. take-home. We ran the numbers. We're wondering where the heck is all this money going. Because we do have a little bit left over at the end of each month, so I think right around about $2,000, $2,300..
To throw at the debt?
That's with minimum payments on the debt. That's taking into account trying to pay the HELOC off a little bit earlier and putting a little bit extra money towards that, and then budgeting for anything for the kids and for us, and all that, just with life and everything.
Okay. Well, your plan right now sounds like a 10-year plan to get rid of this debt, right? That kind of sucks. I want to live life more freely in the meantime, so what if you could sacrifice for like three years and be totally done with this debt?
Yeah.
And so then you start doing math and you go, all right, that looks weirdly like you got $231,000 in debt over three years. That's $77,000 a year. You tracking? Yep. And now that means every single month we need to be throwing $6,400 at this debt.
That gives us a real goal. Right now you're like, we're trying to pay off some debt, and I think it's going to be a little while. Let's get really tactical and go, we need $6,400 going toward debt. How do we make that happen? And for you guys, that probably looks like getting income up ASAP.
That might mean taking some jobs you normally wouldn't take because you're a fancy hospital pharmacist, but right now the extra $1,000 a month could change our life.
Okay.
And it might mean we got to cut expenses down and Christmas looks different this year and we're going to pick one person to get the gift for instead of getting something for everyone, even though we're fancy teachers and pharmacists. You know what I mean? Right. There's going to be sacrifices here on both sides of spending less and making more, because I want to see you out of debt in three years. And I think it's possible, but we're going to have to make some lifestyle changes.
I want you to shoot for two and a half years.
Yeah. Okay.
And listen, I've been where you are with my little fancy graduate degree, pulling into the parking lot with my other colleagues and their BMWs and their Lexus and their nice cars.
Yep.
You can either choose to be free or not, man. And that means people are going to look at you in the parking lot and be like, Bro, I know what you make. What are you doing? Aren't you the pharmacist? Yep.
And I'm driving an old Corolla.
Right. I sold my other car because my identity is not in that. My identity is in freedom. Yeah. And I'm going to work Saturdays and Sundays because you can pick up extra shifts.
You can go to Walgreens and pick up a shift there too. You can work as much as you want to work. It's like, yeah, but I want to don't miss this. I don't want to miss that. Man, please get this stuff out of your life as soon as possible.
Yeah. Okay.
So you're looking at... Yeah, go ahead.
I want to help you out as well with the budgeting side, because it sounds like you guys are starting to actually go, Where is this money going? And that's a great step to take. I'm going to take it one step further and give you every dollar premium for a year to really get down to the nuts and bolts. Connect to your bank account. Use the paycheck planning tool, the financial roadmap tool.
Get both you and your wife downloading this app, looking at it every day, tracking that two or three transactions, making a plan, going, Are we on track to put that $6,000 towards debt this month? What do we got to do to get there? All right. We're not going out to eat for a while. We're going to scrimp on the groceries.
We're not taking that vacation. It's going to be three years, two and a half years of intensity, but you're going to have 30 years on the backside of freedom.
All right. Okay.
You don't sound like you, like that answer.
Well, no. I mean, I do. It does sound good.
My wife and I, we are focused, too, on making sure that our two girls are taken care of. I guess it was more of. we wanted to try to find a balance between paying off the debt. There won't be. I guess my goal was, yeah.
I know. It's got to be either one or the other.
Let me tell you this, and I'm saying this unequivocally, and this is neuroscience and this is physiology, and you know this. You and I have read the same journal articles. The greatest gift you can give your kids is not lessons in a thing. The greatest gift you can give your kids is not a great present or a cool trip. The greatest gift you can give your kids is a non-anxious, regulated adult in their home, two of them.
And so the greatest gift you can give your kids is not attendance to every single solitary soccer game. And so for 24 months, plus six more, 30 months, the kids are going to deal, man. You could dig a hole in your backyard and fill it up with mud and whipped cream, and your kids will tell that story at your funeral, more so than the trips and soccer games you think they've got to have. What they need is two parents that don't know anybody, anything, and their heart rates stay below 70 all the time, and they sleep all night, and they love each other, and there is peace in that home. Give them that, not balance.
Thanks for the call, Ryan. Hang on the line, and we're going to gift you every dollar. This is The Ramsey Show.
This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. This is Deloney, and I'm always railing against social media, especially in the summer, because everyone uploads the highlight reels of their perfect bodies and perfect vacations and perfect kids, and I know they're not real, and I also know that I'm blessed beyond my wildest dreams, but I still find myself wishing my life was like other people's, and, based on the data, I know this is happening to you, too. Comparison is wired into us, but comparison can also become the thief of joy, because we can feel like we're not enough and begin acting and thinking in ways we would never think otherwise. When all gets to be too much, think about contacting BetterHelp. BetterHelp is 100% online therapy staffed with licensed therapists.
It's convenient, flexible, and suited to fit your schedule. By the way, therapy isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma. It's for all of us who are ready to get out of the comparison spin cycle and find our own peace and joy in the life we're creating. Stop comparing and start focusing with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Deloney today to get 10% off your first month.
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Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm George Campbell, joined by Dr. John Deloney. If you enjoy this show in any capacity, which the charts tell us that you guys are liking, what you hear, you love hearing these stories from the callers, the inspiration, sometimes, you know, the tough love, please consider liking the show, consider subscribing, leave us a review wherever you're listening, hit the follow button, share it with a friend, text the family group chat, and let people know, hey, I'm into this show, I think you would like it too. And you never know how that could get someone started on their journey to wellness, whether it's financial, relational, or career related.
Thanks for doing that. Richard joins us up next in Buffalo, New York. Richard, welcome to the show.
Hey, thanks for having me. Thanks for taking my question. I really appreciate it.
Absolutely. How can John and I help?
So I'm a 24-year-old former children's pastor. I had to resign under duress. I'm going through a divorce right now. I have, you know, $42,000 in debt between student loans and maxed out credit card debt, and I just need to know, want to know if it's possible to get out of this hole.
Of course it's possible. What happened?
So at the job,
due to my wife's mental health, she was struggling with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder,
and there was an incident, allegedly where I was physically pushed in a private meeting, and so I had to take off. And then a lot of the debt, I can't say all of it. I wish I could. The credit card debt was a lot of, you know, medical debt, you know, just trying to survive. I had a 26K salary, so it wasn't a whole lot to work with.
But she requested the divorce shortly thereafter, and so now I'm back home trying to figure things out, trying to rebuild my life.
Gotcha. Well, I hate that you went through all that. I can assure you there's light on the other side of this, okay?
I appreciate that.
You could go work at McDonald's and make more than $26,000 right now, so this is not an economic issue. I think you're going to have to be wrestling with the identity part, because in your head, you are a quote-unquote pastor, and you are a quote-unquote childhood expert, and you are quote-unquote married, and now you're none of those things.
And so I think the moment, the first time we think we've got this identity wrapped up, and especially when it's a job title, and the first time it gets ripped away from us or we get an opportunity to do something else, it's unmooring, right? It feels like the ground just melted away out from under us, and we're falling, right? You're not. What I want to challenge you on, Joe's going to walk, I mean, George is going to walk you through the financial part of this, but here's what I want to challenge you.
Go do something tomorrow, okay? The challenge is for you not to sit at home and wallow.
Another job will come, whether that's a pastor's job, whether that's working with kids, you can go be a school teacher and double your salary tomorrow, right? You can get a job starting in the second semester. You may say, I never want to see another kid again as long as I live. Who knows? But I want you to go call a Christmas tree farm, call McDonald's, call Subway, get a job tomorrow, okay?
Start getting some income in your home and start having a thing that you need to go do and work towards. Do not, don't quote-unquote. follow your passion. You need a job. Yeah.
Okay? Let's start loving people, taking care of them, wherever you happen to be, because that's who you are. And then, in the process, we'll heal from this divorce, we'll heal from this, the things that were said. If you were in the home with somebody with bipolar disorder or with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, you've been through hell and back, right?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
And then your church turns on you, and that feels unmooring, because they have, you know, the whole thing, man, it's a mess. You're going to have to grieve this for a season, but also, you got to go to work, okay?
Yeah.
Okay.
So let's talk, Monty. Richard. You're living with your parents right now, is that right?
Yes. Yes, I am. Rent free, because my mom was the best.
Wonderful. God bless, moms. So what are your expenses? Have you actually looked at what it takes to run Richard's life right now, per month?
Yes. Yes, I have.
What does that amount to?
So, you know, thankfully, my salary kind of limited my poor decisions. So at the bare minimum-.
There's silver lining.
Not always. Not always, Richard.
Yeah. No, honestly, I'm thankful for it, because if I had more money, I probably would have been in the exact spot, but way worse. So with everything, and I have a car payment, my minimum credit card payment is $365,000, AAA, my phone, and I'm trying to door dash on the side. once I get, you know, I'm hoping to get a little more minimum wage, but it takes about $1,500 a month at the bare minimum, if I'm just paying minimum payments to run my life.
Even without the rent. So $1,500 is the number we're aiming at, just to kind of cover your basis.
Yeah, that would be like I would be netting like zero. Got it. Yeah.
So, beyond that, if we can make more than that, that can all go towards paying extra on our smallest debt.
Yes.
Do you have any money in the bank right now?
That's not the reaction you want to hear. Laughter. Okay.
He made 26 grand, George.
Well, that helps me. just go, all right, our A1 is getting a $1,000 starter emergency fund. So before we start tackling the debt, just keep the minimum payments going. When you get that job tomorrow, your A1, build $1,000.. That's it.
Okay. After that, debt, snowball. Smallest to largest debts in order. We're going to attack the little one with a vengeance, make minimum payments on the rest. And you can do this.
This is a fixable problem, because you're about to get a raise. No matter what job you get, you just got a raise. So that's the good news. And if you can make, let's say, $40,000, $50,000 grand working a few jobs over the next 12 months, could you put $20,000 at this debt in a year?
Yeah. I mean, I don't see any reason why not. I've been crunching the numbers.
I can tell you why. I can tell you why. Ego. Yeah. Because I want to move out of my parents' house, because I want to be a minister and not be able to eat, but that's what I want to do.
And it's going to be ego.
Ego.
If you sit down with your mom tonight and say, Mom, I want to make a 12-month commitment to you. I got to get this stuff paid off. You're not going to see me much. You might see remnants of me coming and going like a ghost, but I'm going to work seven jobs. I have to be done with this madness.
When you're 25, you're going to stand six inches taller than you do right now.
Because you got hit. You hit the nail on the head. I thought I was just going to get financial advice, but you're preaching to me.
No, dude. You knew the math was bad. You made $26,000 a year. That's what my son makes cleaning horse stalls in the woods. Not really.
He doesn't make anywhere close to that, but good God, $26,000 in New York? Jeez, Louise.
I did get housing at the time, so that helped. I have,
golly, the thought that just came in my head, I'm glad I didn't say, because they would have been diving for the dump button back there and it would have got me canceled. That is what people use sometimes to give people unlivable wages.
It's cruel.
And you're a good man and you're young and you wanted to get in at your foot in the door and partridge in a pear tree. Yada, yada, yada. Go get several jobs.
What's the car loan? What's left on that?
I got it last year when I got into a head-on collision.
The monthly payment is $450,000..
What's the total loan?
It is $18,000..
That is a lot of car. Even for a guy who was making $26,000, is the car worth $18,000 still?
Thankfully, yes. Yes, it is. It's only got like 40,000 miles on it.
Is that part of your $42,000 in debt, or is that extra on top of the student loans and the credit cards that are maxed out?
That would be extra, actually.
I think this car needs to go, my man.
It's gone this weekend.
Can you borrow mom's car to get to and from work?
Her cars are in really bad shape.
Not as bad as your financial shape.
That is true. That is true. The thing that I'm worried about, and this is, I think, because I've been talking to my friends and they all say the same thing, but I think an expert opinion will put me at ease. What I'm worried about is selling the car and getting... Because I don't mind what I drive.
I really don't care. I'll drive a Canva.
What are you worried about, Richard? Go, we're up to the clock. One word.
I'm worried about if I get a 100k mile car. Oh my goodness.
Get over yourself, homie. My truck has 200,000.. With a two. And it's awesome. It's not that awesome, actually, at all.
But it works.
Richard, you know what to do, man. Sell this car this weekend. You've got to stop making excuses and just move forward with your life. Thanks for the call. That puts this hour of the Ramsey Show in the books.
Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create amazing relationships. I'm George Campbell, joined by my good friend, Dr. John Deloney, and we're here for you, America, to give you a little bit of hope in a world that feels a little hopeless, to give you a little bit of peace in a world that feels chaotic. Whether that's with your money, your relationships, your mental health, you name it. The number to call is 888-825-5225..
Caleb kicks us off in Indianapolis. Caleb, welcome to the Ramsey Show.
Hi, thank you for having me. Sure.
So, back at the end of 2022, I went through a divorce, and following up that divorce, I got into the gambling addiction. Got into it pretty bad. I kept it a secret from family, friends, and everybody.
Fast forward to about February, after I sold the house and stuff, I reached out to my parents and let them know my situation. I came clean with my debt and told them the amount that I had and all that. They got me onto this program called Green Path Financial, which is a debt consolidation. They consolidate with your creditors, and they try to lower the interest rates on your loans. So, I went on that program for about 10 months now, and I finished my college.
Fortunately, with my last marriage, I did get free tuition with my degree, so I do not have any student loan payments. I got a new job down here in Indianapolis. I moved three hours south on my own, even with this debt. Got quite a bit of pay raise. So, even budgeting, I thought I would be able to tackle this on my own.
Unfortunately, a few weeks ago, I got right back into the gambling addiction again, and I finally reached out to my parents, and I also have a girlfriend now of five months, and I lied to her for five months about my current situation and not telling her about the gambling. At first, I told her it was only like $6,000, and then I came clean two weeks later and said, no, it's really like $20,000, and then I really wasn't being honest, and I finally told her a few days ago that it was the amount of $35,000.. She's very hurt by it. I'm hurt by it. My family's hurt by it.
I had to reach out to the hotline to seek help for myself. I tried talking to a therapist about it, and I guess I'm trying to move forward. I'm kind of behind on things. I'm just trying to get back on my feet, and most of my support is three hours away. So, as far as I go, I'm not sure what to do moving forward or what suggestions you guys may have.
Did you keep your job, man?
Yes, I still have my job.
Are you still going every day?
Yep.
Okay.
Are you ready to be done?
Oh, I'm done.
I know, but you said that last time. Are you ready to be done?
I'm ready to be done.
Okay.
What steps did you take in order to be done?
I called the hotline, and I told them I need help.
What kind of gambling was this?
Online. Yeah. Blackjack.
Have you disconnected your internet from your home?
No, that's all tied into my rent. It used to be separate, but now it's not.
Have you got rid of a computer, so you have no access?
I don't have a computer. It can be done on the mobile phone. I know.
I was going to get to your mobile phone next, but here's what I'm saying. You've destroyed your life once.
You've done it again.
And until you get really serious about it, and take away access, and not just... The hotline, is great. It's really important, but you need to go to a meeting tomorrow. Or, if you can find a GA meeting tonight, go tonight.
Because you've got nobody in your corner, man. And it doesn't map right on top of it, but I like the idea. It doesn't work dollar for dollar, if you will, but the idea that addiction is often connection-related or disconnection-related. You've got nobody. Right.
And the person you did have is now very disconnected from you because you didn't tell the truth.
Right. Right? But she's still sitting by my side right now.
I know she did. I know she did. But there's a gap between you, and you know that. You can feel it.
Right.
But here's the deal. When I ask you if you're all in, if you're ready, you've got to be all in. And if that means getting a flip phone for a while and not having internet access, great.
If that means for a season, I've deleted every app off my phone and my wife has a mirror app, or my girlfriend has a mirror app, or whoever. my accountability partner is, great. And I'm going to go to a meeting at 6 a.m. and I'm going to go to another one at 7 p.m. Do you have time for that?
Nope. But you don't have time to keep drowning either.
Right. When she's in the opposite situation as me, she's, you know, what, 300 plus thousand in net worth.
Great. We're not playing a comparison game. We're trying to survive.
Right.
Because that comparison game, for somebody in your situation, is a shame factory. You don't need that right now. You've got enough. shame as it is. You need to sit in a room with other men and women who are in the same pocket of hell that you're in and feel them go, yeah, me too, man.
Right.
That's it. And if you don't take it this seriously, you're going to be right back in the same situation. Your girlfriend's going to leave and you're going to owe $65,000 instead of $35,000.. Correct. Online sports gambling is a cancer in our country.
And you got it.
Correct. Is there more debt, Caleb?
No, that is me coming clean. That is everything.
What are you making your job?
About $70,000 a year.
Okay. And what is this $35,000 in debt made up of?
It's a combination of credit cards.
Have you cut up all of your credit cards? Because that's one of the reasons you keep going back here.
Yeah, all the accounts are closed.
Okay.
I have no access to any of the accounts. That was part of the agreement when I joined the Debt Consolidation Program.
So is this all one giant debt now that you're working on?
Correct.
Okay. What's the interest rate on this?
They vary between 3% up to 9%. They have one card, that's at 9%, but they say, once 18 months of payments have been completed, they will drop it to zero.
Okay. Well, I want you to attack this aggressively. regardless of the interest rate. You've got one mountain to climb, and that's this $35,000 debt. You make $70,000..
Can you work on top of that?
Yes.
Because if we can get any extra income, we can get rid of this debt. Within 18 months?
Is that fair? Do you have any money right now, anywhere else that you could liquidate or sell stuff?
That was a question I was going to ask. I have a 70 Camaro that my dad and I did 10 years ago. It's in his name now, but he's giving it to me to give to my kids someday in the future. But he says, no, you're not selling it. So what's your thoughts on that?
Because he wanted me to ask too.
I probably wouldn't sell it. I mean, right now what you're trying to do is you're trying to get Band-Aids over cancer. You can't do that.
Correct. I'd rather see the behavior change here. You need to work.
Yeah.
When you feel that with your future income and you see all that money disappearing towards lenders, it's going to be a stark reminder of why you're never going to get back here again.
What do you do for a living, brother?
I'm a senior system administrator.
Cool. So you can drive in the morning, and you can do your job during the day, and then in the evening you can drive again, or you can go throw boxes at a Walmart until 11 p.m. Gotcha. If you're working like mad, A, you don't have time to be on your phone gambling, and two, you cannot do this by yourself. You have to get a group that meets in person, and you'll sit around a circle and look at each other.
and be honest, period. You can get out of this in 18 months, probably quicker than that, if you want to work and if you want to be committed to getting. well. Hang on the line. We're going to send you, Building a Non-Anxious Life, my new book.
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This is The Ramsey Show. I'm George Campbell, joined by Dr. John Deloney. We've got a special show coming up in December here. In a few weeks, we're going to be doing the giving edition of The Ramsey Show.
It's one of our favorites of the year, and we want to hear stories from you guys about how you have given generously this season. Maybe you've tipped a waitress $100.. You bought Thanksgiving dinner for a family who couldn't afford it. Maybe you blessed someone in need by giving them a car. Who knows?
Maybe you were on the receiving end of all this, and you had your life changed by someone who gave generously to you. We want to hear those stories. Here's what you need to do. Go to ramseysolutions.com slash ask and put giving in the subject line. It's coming up on December 18th, so start sending in your stories of giving today, and let's celebrate, living like no one else, so you can give like no one else.
ramseysolutions.com slash ask. Sam is up next in San Francisco. Sam, what's going on?
Hi. Happy Friday and Merry Christmas.
You as well.
My question is regarding my disability insurance. I have own occupation disability, which made sense when I was single. When I finished all my training, I had $458,000 in student loans. I was paying about $3,000 a month on them. I'm recently married.
We've combined bank accounts, income, and debt. We're in Baby Step 2.. On the one hand, it's only been a few months, and I'm just really frustrated with what I feel is our lack of progress, which probably isn't as bad as I think it is, but I would like to redirect that $450,000 a month to the debt. On the other hand, I feel like it's irresponsible to cancel it because if I get hit by a bus tomorrow, my student loan companies won't care. My loans are the bulk of our debt, and we would definitely struggle on one income.
But if you die, your student loans die with you, don't they?
Yeah, but if I'm just disabled, they don't.
Okay.
So if I lose a limb. Okay. So I don't know if should I cancel it?
What's it costing right now?
Pardon me?
What's it cost right now?
It's like around $450 a month, but it goes up every year.
It's $450 a month?
Yes. Is this short-term or long-term?
It's long-term.
That feels real high for long-term.
Mine is like $12.. Yeah. $12 bucks.
Yeah. Well, mine's on occupation, so it's specific for a surgeon.
Specialized. What do you do?
I'm a surgeon.
That explains it. Well, there's a reason it's higher, and that's because there's a higher chance that it could happen in your occupation, and there's a bigger income to cover as well. What do you make?
It's highly variable because I'm pure commission. right now. I'm probably bringing in around $12,000 a month after taxes.
Okay.
But I'm actually also about to, in the next couple months, I'm leaving my job and starting my own practice, which will give me a huge hit. And so I'm also looking at how that's going to impact our budget and where that $450 goes.
Have you reshopped this insurance in a while with an independent broker? I would at least do that. I have not. To make sure you're getting the best deal possible for great coverage. How much does it cover?
as far as your salary? What percentage?
It's actually two policies. One of them is like up until 65, and then one of them is lifetime. And I kind of did reshop it right before I finished all my training, and he said keep the lifetime because they don't offer that anymore. So I think the lifetime is $1,500, and then the other one is $2,500.. So it's a total of $4,000 a month.
And then $1,500 of that is good for lifetime, and the rest would drop off at $65..
I don't know that you'll need the lifetime one.
But it covers my minimum payment.
But if you're retired at $65, you're not going to need that anymore.
True. So I know they may not do it anymore, but I also think it's also not super helpful. So if you want to cut down the cost, I would cut that one, and I would also reshop it with an independent broker. But, no, I would not cut this out of your life to get out of debt faster. Insurance is too important, especially in your field.
And disability, long-term disability, is one of those that we recommend for everyone, and Ramsey thankfully covers that for our team. But because of your occupation, I know it's pricier and it stinks to pay that out. But it also stinks to pay my auto insurance and my life insurance and my health insurance. But, goodness, we're glad we have it when life hits the fan.
What kind of surgeon are you?
Pardon me?
What kind of surgeon are you?
Plastics.
Okay.
I know, I'm underpaid. That's why I'm starting my own business.
I was going to say, my goodness.
I know.
And you do elective plastics, but you also do reconstructive plastics. I do. More than anybody know, life happens to people.
Yeah, I know. I actually do mostly reconstructive.
So, I'm saying, if anybody knows, I should probably keep this insurance, it's you. Because it's easy for the average person to go through life and be like, I'm not going to get in a car wreck. I'm not going to fall off a bike. I'm not going to get bit by a whatever. And that's all you do every day.
You know.
Yeah.
But I can't wrap my head around. I mean, that's not even halfway to GenPrac money these days.
I know, I know. You know, there was a lot going. Even now, I'm not going grateful. It's scary to go on your own. At least, I'm married now.
My husband is incredibly supportive. I need somebody to support me, but it's terrifying. I've been putting it off for a good five years.
Is there another group you can go work with?
No.
Not for what I do. My goodness. It's not going to get any better.
I mean, I trust you because this is your field. I'm stunned at how long.
I looked into it, actually. I did a lot. I did a lot of, you know, kind of read the Entre leadership book and spent like a really, really long time like exploring two different options. It's like months. And finally, I just kind of went to things lined up.
And I think there was also a huge component. You know, I always felt like God would tell me when it was time to go. And he just, like, just a million things lined up and it was loud and clear. And he was like, it's time.
So, help me through the specialty things, the stuff, real quick. Because I've got friends that are nurse practitioners that make that.
How hard is it to pause, being dramatically underpaid for what you're doing, and go over to another vertical in medicine?
Very incredible. It's impossible. You'd have to redo a residency. Okay, all right. Or a fellowship.
So, I'm actually like, I've done a residency, I've done a fellowship. That's why I've got such like, that's why my loans are so high. Because actually, I didn't, I finished my school with under 400.. But then, like, interest accrued, because that was kind of, or planning on my part. So, that's why I ended up with 458..
Because I deferred for quite a bit of time.
So, what's the total debt load you guys have?
It is currently 463,000..
Oh, my goodness. Does that include a mortgage? or is that all? the? Nope.
That's all the consumer stuff from school.
That's, it's my one.
You got cars in there?
His one loan. We have one car. We just paid off his car. We have his daughter's car. We paid off his car this week.
So, and then there's a little bit of IRS.
Okay. Well, with your current take-home pay, this is going to take a lifetime. And so, to John's point, we have to dramatically increase the income. That's the problem right now. We got a huge hole.
We have a decent shovel, but not compared to the hole. So, that's going to be your key out of here. And canceling the insurance to make a few extra hundred bucks is not going to be the ticket out either.
So, but I'd keep looking in the couch cushions of your budget to see where else you can cut to make some meaningful impact. But the income is where you're going to be able to knock this debt out in the next, you know, four or five years. If you can start throwing, you know, 70, 80 grand of your take-home pay at this debt, it's a different equation.
What's your husband do?
He's in sales.
Does he have an opportunity to significantly increase his salary?
Yes. Yeah. And he's been working on that. He's actually very good at what he does. So, again, like his, because he's in sales, his income's also incredibly variable.
So, the budgeting thing has been probably the first time I've ever done a budget.
Yeah, we can tell. We can tell.
Well, you guys are also in the Bay Area, which is not helping. Yes, we are. What's your mortgage or rent?
$2,900..
Okay. That's reasonable. I thought I was going to have a heart attack.
No, it's actually, like, stupidly low, and that's actually. one of the issues is that I'm actually, it's complicated, but we're going to have to move, because it's just not as sustainable. Like, I moved into his bachelor pad, so it's going to have to go up.
Well, there's a whole lot that's unsustainable right now, and half a million dollars of debt is a bigger problem than moving into the bachelor pad. So, I wish you the best in increasing this income and getting rid of half a million dollars in debt. Our friend Jade Warshaw did it. If you need some inspiration and motivation, check out her book, Money's Not a Math Problem. That puts this segment in the books.
We'll be right back.
I'm George Campbell, joined by Dr. John Deloney. This is The Ramsey Show. The number to call is 888-825-5225.. Today's question of the day is sponsored by Neighborly, your hub for home services.
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Today's question comes from Jim in Ohio. Jim asks, my wife and I decided not to use credit cards prior to marriage. She decided to use one of her cards behind my back and is now $6,000 in debt. She has $6,000 in savings from a settlement to pay it off, but will not. Your thoughts?
My thoughts, Jim, are that this is not about using money X to pay off debt Y. This is about you and your wife had a set of values and your wife lied to your face. This is not about using settlement X to pay off debt Y. This is about your wife committing financial infidelity. She cheated on you.
Y'all agreed, we're not going to do this. She did. That's what you'll have to deal with. If you deal with that issue, then the what do we do next is anything. If somebody cheats on their spouse with another romantic partner and they choose to stay together, the question is often, what do we do now?
We're going to do anything. it takes, everything it takes. Y'all just have to have the harder conversation, which is your marriage is in a lot of trouble.
And this is one of the reasons, John, that we recommend people combine bank accounts, have total visibility and communication when it comes to money. Because my guess is they never really combine finances. She's doing her thing over here. Well, she has this 6K in settlement. She has this debt.
She won't pay it off. We need to have an our discussion, a we discussion. where we go, we have $6,000 in savings. We now have $6,000 in debt. How are we going to solve this and how do we prevent this from ever happening again?
And if she says, no, no, no, no, I have $6,000.. Your marriage is in trouble. Period. And I know the internets don't like that. And I know the modern day marriage is stupid.
It's an old archaic relic. Look around. Look around at our culture. Yeah, you're showing us. Great job, guys.
It is critically important. And you got to be all in. If both of you aren't all in, well, then the whole thing caves in on itself. Part of being all in is saying our money, our debt, our home, not my check goes in my account to pay my bills. Well, then, you're glorified roommates.
And you did that in college. Nobody wants to go back to that.
Yeah, why? Disgusting. Why? Well, sorry, you're dealing with that, Jim. But it sounds like it's a good opportunity to reset this marriage and go, we're going to go differently forward and communicate differently.
We're going to have a different set of values. And we're going to freeze our credit bureau account so that we can't go into debt. if we wanted to. Put some process in place and figure out what was at the root of her going into debt behind your back. That's the real issue at hand here.
All right. Let's get to the phones. Marie is in Jacksonville. Marie, what's going on?
Hey. So I just, out of the blue, was laid off. No.
I know.
I am a big every dollar user, have been for a while. I try to be very regimented. I am still only on Baby Step 2..
But I'm really struggling with making my budget. now. I'm not quite sure what to do. And I'm definitely trying to get a job. I'm definitely working on it.
And I guess the biggest question that I have is I did kind of veer off from the plan a little bit because I didn't feel secure with $1,000 as my buffer. So I actually have $5,000 as a buffer. Okay. So I don't know my comfort level with letting go of that $5,000..
Marie, you're unemployed.
I don't know if it's about being comfortable. It's about surviving.
Yeah.
How much debt do you have?
I know this is going to sound funny, but I'm down to 15 in loans and credit cards and about 110 on my mortgage.
Okay. So, mortgage aside, we have $15,000 of debt to clean up before we can move on to Baby Step 3 and 4 and 5, and all of that. Right. Okay. And what were you making before you got laid off?
I was going to take home.
Just under $6,000 a month.
Nice. What were you doing?
Running a charter school.
That's a big job.
Why did you get laid off?
Really, it was a personality conflict with my boss and I. I had no write-ups, no warnings, no bad performance reviews, nothing. It was just, I know you don't want to work here, and I don't want you to work here either. So goodbye. Wow.
So the other side of that is, there are a few industries starving for educators more than the education profession, right? Can you have a job by January, heading into another school, even if it's not your ideal job? I don't want this job, but it's a job, and you're going to do a great job?
Yeah, and that's what I'm working on. I actually am hoping to get one that will start at the end of January.
Okay.
That's a bigger, more of a career thing, but I am looking at temporary holdover, seasonal, anything.
But I also want you at McDonald's. Yeah, I mean at this point. You need a job, right?
Yeah.
You need a job, and I think it's easy to be like, I'm an educator. I'm an administrator. This is what I do. I'm a headmaster. Well, you've got to get a job, right?
You need some money.
Right, right.
So, in the meantime, let's pick up some of the holiday, retail, hospitality shifts so that you can keep your home afloat. What are your monthly expenses right now?
Monthly expenses, I am, gosh, it's pretty heavy, but I've already gone through. I'm actually looking at my EveryDollar right now on my computer. But I would say that I've gone through and reduced everything that I could possibly do. I've reached out to, like, my cell phone company, and they actually gave me a credit for a month. I've reached out to my son's daycare, and they're helping me out.
I've reached out to my auto insurance, adjusted a little bit of the rates, but not the property damage, because I can't let go of at least having enough to cover a car. God forbid, there's an accident. But I've reduced that to bring down my insurance payment by about $100 a month.
So are we talking? $4,000 a month would run the house? What's the number now that you've reduced at all?
Yeah, I would say about $4,000..
Okay. Well, even with this over-indexed starter emergency fund, you're only going to last a month here.
Yeah.
And so that scares me on top of, are you a single mom?
Yes, I am.
Okay. That scares me even more. And so we need to get a job, probably two or three ASAP, in order to keep the lights on, keep them at daycare, so you can be at work for 50, 60 hours a week until we get back to that dream job or that job in your profession, back to making $6,000 a month take-home. Because then this debt's going to be paid off soon. It's not really a debt problem here.
So, as far as budget, right now, it is four walls. It's food, utilities, shelter, transportation, insurance. That is it. Everything else you can survive without for a month or two or three.
Right.
So it stinks. you're going through this.
I should take it out of that emergency fund, though.
You don't have another option.
Yeah, right now this is it. I would try to not touch that. I would go get a job and try to create $4,000 of income in the next 30 days to cover this. But in the meantime, if you absolutely need to, yes, dip into the emergency fund. The key is, don't go further into debt, compounding the problem.
How old are your kids?
Five.
Five.
I don't recommend any of these things. I'm saying. I'm just saying some of the creative things that we've seen on the show, where people will put their five-year-old, and I made that number up, but put their young child in the backseat of a car, and they'll listen to books on CDs or through, like Audible or something like that. They will sing, and they will deliver food, because that's what they have to do. And this is not how you drew this up, but this is where you find yourself.
My fear for you is it sounds like, yeah, it was time. This hurts, and this stings, and it's the freaking holidays. This is not the moment for the mom of a five-year-old to not have a job. I mean, it's hard, right? It's scary.
I don't want that to turn into inertia and turn into, well, I'm going to find this fancy job. Go get a couple of jobs right now. And it's just ego has got to go out the door. This is about survival for the next 60 days, 90 days. The other job will come.
And, Marie, hang on the line. I'm going to take one less expense out of your life. We're going to pay for one year of every dollar premium so that you can get on a plan and get through this season. Thanks for the call. This is The Ramsey Show.
Hey, guys. It's Rachel Cruz. When it comes to teaching kids about money, moms tell me all the time just how overwhelming it can feel to get started. That's why I'm so excited to tell you about Financial Peace Kids. This toolkit was designed to make learning to save, earn, spend, and give money fun for both you and your kids.
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Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm George Campbell, joined by Dr. John Deloney. Here's a friendly reminder that we are located just south of Nashville, Tennessee, here at the Ramsey Solutions headquarters, and we love having guests visit us. We've got some lovely folks from all over the country.
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