Status: Untraced - E5: Real Human

It started with a backpack at the 1996 centennial Olympic Games, a backpack that contained a bomb. While the authorities focused on the wrong suspect, a serial bomber planned his next attacks two abortion clinics and a lesbian bar.

It kind of gave me a feeling of pending doom.

And all the while, our country found itself facing down a long and ugly reckoning with a growing threat far-right, homegrown religious terrorism. Listen to Flashpoint starting July 25th on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can check out the entire season of Status Untraced right now by searching your podcast app and following the show. Or, if that's too much, just stay right here and check out episode 5..

Hey, good morning.

Hi, how are you?

I am good, I have some pretty big news.

You do.

I got into Justin's iCloud.

Oh my god, what did you find?

So not very much. Yet. I can see that there's more data, but I have 9,000 photos from him currently.

Liam God, you're amazing. Oh my God. This has been the biggest thing, as you know, for five years. The phone, the freaking phone, and that phone is such a linchpin.

Me, too. I don't know how much was backed up. So I don't want to get you excited thinking that I have a bunch of stuff because I don't know what I have yet.

That's okay, that's okay that you found that you're able to do something, and maybe you can find something. It's just very cool, whatever you get is cool, this is just very....

Yeah.

Nobody's done this before.

I'm Liam Luxon and this is status untraced episode 5 Real human.

That was for me. It was like I was talking to Justin. That was really how he talked and what he talked to me about what was going through his mind.

So what do you think is important to share from his journals to fairly present who he is and the investigation aspect of what happened to him?

You know, he was very protective of his private life. Yes, he did manage the narrative that was on Facebook and Instagram meticulously. You know, anyone who tries to live in this society has struggles. That is the real treasure of the story about Justin.

After multiple conversations, the conclusion my team and I ultimately make is to share an accurate story and portray Justin's truth as a real human being, acknowledging his parents concerns and respecting Justin's privacy, we have carefully selected the pieces of his iCloud data that only pertain to his travels and state of mind facts that further our investigation. For brevity, we've also condensed his journal entries. What follows paints a picture of his mental well-being and actions over the course of a three-year period. All of it leading up to the final days before his trek.

I'm Dan Taberski. In 2011, something strange began to happen at the high school in Leroy, New York.

I was like at my locker and she came up to me and she was like, stuttering, super bad.

I'm like, stop around.

She's like, I can't.

A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms and spreading fast.

Like doubling and tripling, and it's all these girls.

With a diagnosis, the state tried to keep on the down low.

Everybody thought I was holding something back.

Well, you were holding something back intentionally. Yeah, yeah.

Well, yeah.

It's hysteria, it's all in your head, it's not physical. Oh my gosh, you're exaggerating.

Leroy was the new dateline and everyone was trying to solve the murder.

A new limited series from Wondery and Pineapple Street Studios, Hysterical Follow Hysterical on the Wondery app, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Hysterical early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery+.

Before listening further, please be prepared that the following content deals with thoughts of suicide. I sincerely recommend that if you feel you struggle with your mental well-being, please reach out to someone you can trust. Speak with a mental health professional. Or call or text the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at Pound 988. You are not alone. Help is available 24-7..

Today, with the mental eye, we trekked most of the day through the jungle. I kept reminding myself that this was an amazing adventure, you know, to keep from being tired and annoyed. I mean, how often do you get a chance to cut your way through an Indonesian jungle swamp with some natives?

Nearing the end of the year after traveling through Thailand and Nepal on December 3rd, Justin Journals while in Miami, Florida.

I think I'm a narcissist, I pretend that I'm an introvert, that I'm shy, but it's just that. When people don't make me feel special, I shut them out. That is a big problem. It's probably why I'm a womanizer, why I fall in love instantly.

Three days later, he then journals with a more optimistic outlook.

I don't need a quest. Being in the USA has put me back in a goal-oriented mindset. I don't need to be famous or recognized or appreciated. I am living the ideal life. Just follow passion wherever it takes me.

Fast forward to January 2015.

I think about suicide.

Justin bounces around Brazil for a month and then darts off to Bolivia and Peru before circling back to the states. April finds him motorcycling through Sedona to San Diego, winding up in Los Angeles as the month closes.

After two weeks with Sterling, I don't think I can handle being the less handsome and less charismatic one in a group. Every time we bring women or a woman home, he fucks. I sleep alone, I can't handle this. I've been thinking a lot about killing myself.

Throughout the summer and fall of 2015, Justin's on the move, motorcycling up and down the West Coast. Along the way, he meets the likes of Justin Chatwin, Jonathan Skeels and Dr. Christopher Ryan.

Justin Alexander, Who the hell are you? You're a travel blogger? Is that what you said?

As 2015 winds down, on December 28th, he makes a bold move a one-way ticket to the Philippines. He posts a rough itinerary of his plans for the upcoming year, culminating in India.

I think I'm going to become a drug dealer in 2016.

The entries hereonward all take place in 2016, the year of Justin's disappearance.

I'm making my own way in this world. I have to create my own hero and follow him. This is the true hero's journey to become.

He immerses himself with an Indigenous Palawan tribe, then jets off to Thailand by January's end to reunite with Dr. Christopher Ryan.

Do you know what these online decrease things are? I haven't withdrawn money since March 22nd, it's me moving money around. Oh, okay, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't getting robbed.

It appears a $500 deposit is sent, but a little over a week later, Justin reaches out to Robert again.

I need some more cash.

Nearly a month later, on May 10th, he makes another request.

My personal Citibank card doesn't work, so they're mailing another to the office. I'll need it sent to Nepal. That's where I had the donations going. Please message me with the pin on the Biz debit when you can. I haven't had the money for a long time and I'm freaking out.

Robert does not message back.

Today, I made my first drug sale in Bokhara, I sold 20 grams of hash for $40..

On May 26th, Justin journals about buying around 400 grams of hashish. June 6th, he messages Robert.

Can you put more in? I'm totally out. Tomorrow, I go to the Indian Embassy and need $100 for that. I can put in like 200 more, but that may be it for a bit, okay?

June 7th Justin journals that Linda is leaving Nepal. Three days later, his entry takes a daring turn.

Yesterday, I bought a kilo of Nepali hash. We passed four police checkpoints between Agra and Kathmandu. They were looking for smugglers.

June 19th Justin messages Robert about the debit card.

Can you quick ship to this address in India? It's in New Delhi and I'll be there in a week.

Robert does not message back. The next day, June 20th, Justin reaches out once more.

I need cash.

Again, no reply. Whether they spoke over the phone any of these times is unclear.

So I can go around the checkpoint. Yes, you can trek, you know, in the mountains.

But don't do it alone because you don't know the way and you got completely lost, I tell you.

I bought a simple and beautiful bamboo bansuri in the key of E for 700 rupees.

June 27th, A friend from Varanasi, who we'll call Yuvi, texts Justin on WhatsApp, Yuvi introduces Justin to someone keen on buying hashish.

Okay, he can come to Mad Packer's hostel, give him my WhatsApp.

June 28th 2.

When do you want to stop by ASAP? Just message me. When you arrive, we can go on the roof and have a smoke.

40 minutes later, Justin Whatsapps the buyer.

Hey man, I just went to get my stuff and I think it's been stolen, can't find it.

What the fuck I'll find it? Don't worry, sweetie.

No, dude, I've looked through everything I own three times.

Chill, I have the best of contacts, let me come, you know, I need my tolls.

Dude, I don't have it, there's no reason to come.

I know you have more on my way. Won't go back sweetie, just give me 40..

I haven't cut it or anything, I don't have a private room, I don't have.

Don't worry, we have almost reached.

The final answer is no.

Can't go back without the hash.

Sorry.

You stupid, then I'm coming, I'll fuck you, you're in Delhi, don't forget.

You've gone too far, my friend, I'm not doing business with you.

Sorry brother, I am myself fucked up. Some other guy was using my cell phone for navigation, he messaged all that shit.

This is the kind of person you send to me. My stuff was stolen, so I told him not to come because I can't find it. That was his reply. Don't send me any more contacts, I don't like your friends.

The incident leaves such an impact that Justin records it in his journal.

They threatened me, so I got my machete and flute and waited. They never came. I did find my stash, thank God.

Over the next two days, Yuvi sends a string of apologies. Justin responds on June 30th.

I found a guy who wants a bunch for $3,000.

This same day, Justin also messages Robert, inquiring about his request for cash.

Please respond.

There is no response. Five days tick by and on July 5th, Justin reaches out once more.

There's still no card. You think Fedex actually lost it?

July 8th Justin buys a new Royal Enfield motorcycle in New Delhi. July 9th. This marks the final date. Photos and videos are saved to Justin's iCloud.

Today we went to Dharam Salah on the motorbike. Every little thing seemed to go wrong, constantly misplacing things and feeling like a fool. I'm not very sharp these days, Emma says. It's the hash, and I keep getting so aggravated at everything.

July 21st, around noon, Justin writes in his day one journal, Walinkulu, and titles it, So what does a man truly need?

I'm going on a solo trek into Upper Parvati Valley. In the Indian Himalaya. Some caves are inhabited by sadhus. They meditate in caves for months and renounce the world in search of enlightenment. I plan on doing my own version of that. It's something I've been called to do for years now.

Later that night, at 11.

Feeling pretty negative about myself. Money for my proof seems to be slowly closing tap. I'm smuggling and selling drugs to get by. I'm having all kinds of relationship problems. Wanting for amazing and beautiful women to love me, to be their hero, yet not prevent me from traveling alone and loving other women.

July 22nd He announces on social media that he's headed to Kyrgyzstan. Nearing 1am, he reflects upon his upcoming trip.

I think India is about healing for me. I need to take care of my health, my back is fucked, my immune system isn't great, my mind.

July 24th at 8.07a.m.

I've begun my adventure. It's been a long time since I set out into the wilderness alone, but this time is special. I have no place to be, no end date.

The next morning, one month before the Baba Trek.

I'm considering a solo trek to Montalai Lake. I've been warned about doing the trek solo. I might find nomadic shepherds high up there. If so, I can trade hash for curd.

On Friday, July 29th, Justin journals about his financial situation.

This morning, I'm down to my last 200 rupees. A young Indian from Kerala asked where he could find hash. I sold him a tola for 1500 rupees.

August 1st, Mere weeks before the trek to Montalai Lake, Justin returns to Kasol that night at 10.33pm, he fantasizes in his journal.

I dream of meeting a beautiful Indian village girl. She wants a family and a simple life. I learn Hindi and we raise our children bilingual. I travel from time to time. I provide for our family so she can live the life she wants.

August 4th and 5th Justin exchanges messages with someone he met in Kalga about a potential job in Israel come October. He inquires if it's difficult to obtain a work visa there, but the contact is unsure.

I'm in terrible shape. The hike today was hard and my pack was light. My heart is in no condition at all. Smoking one to three grams of hash a day over five to eight joints isn't helping at all.

August 10th at 2.

I've sat two days with Baba and he has invited me to go on a holy pilgrimage to Montilai Lake at the end of the month. If I do this, I won't be able to ride to Leh. This was my intention for coming to India, but my real intention for living is to experience the strange things in life. I'd be a fool to pass up this invitation.

August 12th Justin posts an Instagram photo of a small cave he's been living in, lit by three candles. His personal items are scattered around the rock floor. Three days later, Justin makes another post. It's the black and white image of Baba Rawat.

I've heard stories about the magical powers of these babas. They can see into your soul and know your past and future, they can bless or curse.

August 18th Justin posts a video to Instagram, captioning that he plans to trek a pilgrimage with the Baba and ends it with the infamous message.

I should return mid-September or so, if I'm not back by then, don't look for me.

At 11.

Nice talking to you.

Friday, August 19th, Justin writes in his Day One journal in anticipation of the Baba Trek.

I might take acid, maybe half a dose.

Two days later, August 20th, Justin makes his final post to Instagram.

I leave tomorrow and should be back to the internet world by mid to late September.

On this same day, Justin FaCETimes Linda Berrini and makes what will be his final call to his mother, Susie Reeb, and his father, Terry Shetler. He leaves his motorcycle at their guest house and sends his last known WhatsApp text to an unknown Indian number. From their exchange, it's evident this is the person Justin bought his motorcycle from. He calls her auntie and asks her about a starter she mailed for him.

The package never arrived in America. Is there a tracking number?

August 21st, four days before the trek, Justin writes a journal entry.

I'm excited about this trip, I'm gonna step into my hero's shoes and give it my all. I won't complain. When I'm suffering from cold or hunger, I will devote myself to yoga and meditation, or whatever the baba asks of me. I'm gonna drop some acid at some point if I'm not freezing to death.

August 22nd, three days before the trek, Justin met a Ukrainian traveler named Andrei Gapon, who gave him the red Butane lighter. We also know that during his descent from Montelay Lake, Justin passed away. Among them is Nirmal Patel, the man in the last photo with Justin. Fortunately, I was able to get a hold of Nirmal.

I can't tell you exact days because it went like ages.

He does, however, remember where they crossed.

Nothing happened, he left and I left on my way.

Nothing out of the ordinary, just a thank you for the food and goodbye kind of thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nirmal and his group then continued up the mountain and descended on the opposite side to Spiti. Other than the Baba and Porter, they are the last known people to have seen Justin.

No details on that fight at all.

In spite of the lack of detail about this fight, it's the first indication we've heard that there was tension between Justin and the baba. Was the porter with the baba when he passed you?

I don't know about the porter and stuff like that.

Did you pass any other characters at all when you were on your way up?

There were, like, the locals and stuff, there were a few people.

Nobody nefarious, like, sketchy, dangerous kind of seeming.

No, no, no, no.

And as far as Justin's mood goes, would you say that that changed at all?

Of course, man, he was a bit happy that he got good footages and stuff like that. So a bit of excited but tired and planning to go back and relax.

This is everything we know, it's a lot to digest. But we can now confirm Justin was putting himself in potentially dangerous situations like drug deals and smuggling. He was struggling in more ways than one frail health, getting lost in hash and LSD, and suicidal thoughts.

Hey, how goes it?

It goes, man, for days and for nights on end.

It feels like we know more.

But we know less because somehow there's evidence for every single one of the scenarios that were there before. It's almost maddening.