Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Vacation

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous, I'm Buck Rogers and I'm joined by Starship Trooper. Wow. That's your new nickname, Starship Trooper.

It feels too sci-fi for me, I'm not very sci-fi.

And it's probably obvious that it's just a carryover from Thursday's episode.

You don't have to say that.

Well, I was just trying to pull open the Komodo, I don't want to take a big old gander.

You say Komodo?

Komono.

I know, but it sounded, like you said, Komodo, which is kind of a mix of Komono and Komode.

Yes, sure.

Which is like, pull open the lid to the Komodo.

Also very revealing. Very, extremely intimate. And potentially exposing, yes, yes. This is our holiday episode. The prompt was, tell us about a wild holiday vacation.

To be clear, this is our Holiday Armchair Anonymous prompt. It's not the Holiday Armchair Expert episode, that's to come.

Yes, and it will not be on Friday's Armchair Anonymous. It'll be on next Friday's Armchair Anonymous slot.

It is. It'll be next Friday, it'll be a week from today.

Oh, I strike all that from the record.

This is the last Armchair Anonymous of the year.

This is the last one of the year. And you can listen to this one, I went through them all.

You can. I listened and I didn't puke. Well, there's one that's, it's not pukey, but it's, I think it's a little nasty.

Yeah, the exploding? Yeah. Okay. Well, look, you know, I think, if you've made it this far in Armchair Anonymous, this will be nothing.

I agree.

Yeah. This is good to go. Play it on Christmas morning with the whole family. as they're unwrapping presents. Please enjoy Crazy Wild Holiday Vacation Stories.

Hard times, come and go, good times, take them slow, my life, I had them both, if ever.

one day, you gotta know, I'ma keep on shining.

All right, we got holidays.

I wonder if it's my friend, Kim.

Hi. Is that your friend, Kim?

No.

No, she thought. maybe it might be her friend, Kim.

I think I am your friend, Kim. Well, you are my friend. I feel like I am.

That's exactly right. You're my new friend, Kim.

Kim, where are you? I am in a suburb outside of Philadelphia called Wayne, Pennsylvania.

And are you from there?

I am not from here. We moved here end of 2019..

Just before?

Just before.

From where? Where were you leaving?

We were outside of DC, Arlington, Virginia.

Okay. Is there a military? Is there a government, anything?

No, it's for my husband's work, but just where we lived.

He's not an FBI agent.

He's not.

Okay.

Maybe they're not allowed to tell a CIA.

CIA, I don't know if they can tell you. FBI, they can tell you. Who knows? We'll see. Maybe it's part of this.

Anything.

Any holiday story? you got doozy for us?

I would call it both crazy and wild, and I'm excited to tell it to you guys. So, at the time of this story, I'm dating this guy, we'll call him Zach, and he is a Capricorn, like you, Zach.

We just did a lot of Capricorn investigation this morning. We happen to be really brushed up on it right now.

I think he really fits the bill. So his birthday is January 1st. His celebration is always tied into New Year's Eve, with friends, rolling into New Year's Day, his birthday. So his 30th birthday is coming up, and at this point we've been dating for about a year. We decide we're going to take a big trip to celebrate.

No, this is incredible.

I'm just so excited. This is our first big trip. This is the first extended time I'm taking with his friends, and you learn so much about someone when you travel with them.

For better or worse.

Right. So things are going great, and we get to Paris. Zach and I got really lucky because the parents of one of my little sister's friends had heard we were going. They have an apartment in Paris that they weren't using and said, you can stay there.

Is it Bradley Cooper? Is that his apartment?

I wish. But it was very nice. We get there, and it's beautiful. It's so centrally located. You pop your head out of one of those little balcony windows.

Stopping to write a poem here and there.

Midnight comes, and we all share some sloppy kisses with our respective significant others. This is about the time that my memory is starting to get a little hazy. Okay, sure, sure. Midnight passes, and we go down to the hill. We find this bar, and a couple of things I remember about.

Absinthe. Maybe, absinthe, yeah.

I take the shot. Obviously, that really helps my memory get even hazier from there. The other thing I remember about the bar is that it was either enormous or the layout was just super confusing, but this point has been validated by the fact that actually another girl in our group got lost within the bar, and it was very hard to find your way back from the bathroom.

Everyone's lost. This is incredible. Inside of a place.

Her boyfriend's crying hysterically, certain she's gone forever. Everyone's hammered.

Oh, my gosh.

She just wanders up casually, like, what's wrong? What's going on?

Mike, what is it?

I thought you were dead.

My fate was a little different. I went to the bathroom at one point, and I came out, and I don't know what time it was, but the bar is starting to shut down, and I can't find my friends. Yeah, I'm separated. Now, this young Parisian man approaches me, and he's trying to help me. I'm explaining that I'm separated.

Right, sure.

Only like one or two people in our group's phone would even work out in the wild without Wi-Fi, and my boyfriend's one of them, but I don't know any phone numbers. Yeah, right. My drunken mind thinks that the best and only way to contact my friends is to somehow get on Facebook and send them a message that eventually they'll see.

Tomorrow when they're looking at Facebook in the morning, hungover.

Right. So, bad news is that my Parisian man does not have access to Facebook on his phone. Good news is that he tells me he has a computer at his apartment I could log on.

I'm like, oh, my God. Oh, no. Didn't mean a perfect ideal.

Oh, my God. Let's go to a second location.

Never go to a second location. Only third locations.

Only the third.

That's right. Where's that from? You can say that on sync. Oh.

So, I follow him, and I end up mounting his moped, and we are driving away from the bar.

Oh, my God. Hold on. If I'm your boyfriend, and you've gone to the bathroom, and I walk outside, and I see you drive off with a French dude on a fucking moped, and it's my birthday. Oh, yeah. Let's not forget, it's my birthday.

Yeah. It's at this point that I notice his ponytail hanging out from under his helmet. And, I mean, that detail has absolutely no bearing on the story, but it feels really-.

It's telling.

I thought you were going to say, actually, it was a girl.

Oh, that would be safer. That would feel much safer. If I see you drive off with a gal on her moped, I'm like, oh, that's a fun adventure they're about to have.

I have no idea how long we drive, where we drive to. I'm so drunk. I don't know how I didn't fall off and die. But we get to his apartment, and there is, in fact, a computer. And I'm trying to log on.

Take your clothes off and get comfortable.

I panic. I'm like, I got to go. I bolt out of the apartment. He doesn't follow me. It's fine.

I cannot believe how far you got from the bathroom on accident. This is such a disaster.

It is. I know. I'm sorry, Monica. I knew it would really stress you out. Yeah, this makes me itch.

Good point.

Spoiler, you're alive.

I hail down a cab. I'm crying. I'm trying to explain my situation to him. He takes pity on me. Gives me a ride.

You couldn't get from the bathroom to the people.

But now you're really on fire, yeah.

Maybe the flaming shot.

Yeah, it sounds like the absence straightened you out a little bit.

So I'm in this little airlock vestibule where they have the mailboxes and the trash cans.

Real quick question. You had taken a train to go see these fireworks. And then you walked to a bar. So presumably, that bar was pretty far away from where you were staying.

It was pretty far. So it was a lengthy cab ride.

Wow. OK. And of course, they can't leave.

Right, without you.

Well, we're going to find out. But my girlfriend goes to the bathroom. She doesn't come back. I'm not like, I bet you'll figure out how to get 20 minutes back to the... I'm going to stay there forever.

So I'm in this airlock. I'm furiously trying to figure out how to use the call, buzz box. No one's answering. It may be user error. I don't know.

It went from 35 to 54..

Yeah, yeah. I might have slept a little bit. I don't know. But at some point, this older French man opens the door. He's walking his dog in the morning.

Yeah, prostitute.

Strung out.

I mean, I did a little duolingo leading up to the trip. But nothing that's helping me in this scenario. So we're kind of screaming at each other. And I just get past and run upstairs. I'm banging on the door.

So he had gotten back before you?

He had gotten back before me. And we just kind of look at each other. We really don't exchange many words. I think we kind of hugged. We fall asleep back in bed immediately.

100%.

What do we do?

Amanda Knox.

Right. The other half had attempted to do a little search party. But they're like, what do we do? We're going to these closed bars being like, hey, have you seen this drunk white girl with dark hair? It's New Year's Eve.

This is a very messy night.

He chases after the thief with a corkscrew that he had in his pocket. As his weapon. So we're just all in bad shape. His plan was to come home, have a water, have a coffee, get back to looking for me. But of course, in reality, he passed out and was awoken to me banging on the door.

Oh, my God.

We meet up with our friends just to kind of show some proof of life. But we're so tired. Everything's miserable. We head back to the apartment. We sleep off this shame, this hangover, all of that.

My favorite. Number one comedy of all time.

I thought you might agree there. But the effort he put into that had to have been more than the effort he put into finding me. And I kind of got mad for a minute. And then I had to remind myself, Kim, you left the bar with a ponytailed Parisian on a moped on his birthday.

Okay.

Everyone took responsibility.

Yeah, yeah. And that leads us to what I think is the craziest part of this story. After that night, he did not break up with me. We have been now married for five years. What?

Oh, I definitely thought that was the end.

Yes. By the way, this whole time, I'm kind of projecting onto him. You said he's a Capricorn?

Yes.

I want to be very clear. If I were drunk, I got to add, if I were drunk, like sober, I wouldn't think this. But drunk, I think I would be like, I would never do this to you. I wouldn't be this irresponsible. I wouldn't jump on someone's and just fucking.

He didn't know. she took off with the ponytail. You wouldn't know that.

Well, he knows that she left the bar.

Well, he knows she's lost. That's all anyone knows.

He says that his mindset was just, without having planned a meeting point, going home would be like the only place we would know.

That is what I would have thought. We read pragmatic in the Capricorn description today, right?

We did. But then the other funny thing is that we have actually also spent every single New Year's Eve since that trip with those same friends, except, of course, my ponytailed Parisian. Wow.

And have things cleaned up a little bit over the years?

Who knows?

Not really.

Let's hope he's got a wayward lost tourist using his computer right now. The pony. That seems like what he liked. Yeah.

Yeah. So Zach is his real name, but I just didn't want to bury the lead that he's my husband. But he was the one who really encouraged me to submit this story.

Oh, I love it.

Yeah. I'm just super grateful that he was so nonjudgmental.

We're both of you. Because I could easily, in your situation, been like, you left in Paris with my phone?

We rehash the story a lot with our friends. And our favorite way to retell it is that Zach opens the door and he's just like super well rested. He's making this huge breakfast. He's listening to Tom Jones. Fresh squeezed orange juice.

Having the best birthday of his life. Oh, you're back. I knew you'd be back. Wasn't worried.

Yeah.

Well, that was great.

Oh, Kim, that was lovely. I'm so delighted you're still together.

Me too. Thank you. Yeah. I just have to say, I am so excited to be talking to you guys. I am a huge fan.

Oh my God. Thank you, Kim.

Thank you. You're welcome. My new friend, Kim. And also, at the risk of sounding like a suck up, I just want to add that, Wobby Wob, you are a man of few words on this show. But every time you do speak, it is such quality content.

Do you want to respond?

Thank you.

You've seen him too. Have you seen him?

Of course. I follow him on Instagram.

He's obnoxiously cute, isn't he?

He's really cute.

We were just in Vegas together for the race, and he was getting attacked.

I was really jealous of all the places you were eating and everything you were doing.

Thank you. Thank you for being jealous. I guess that's the ultimate compliment. Well, Kim, this was a blast. I love that story.

I will. Can I call him in here?

Yes, of course.

Oh, and a little person.

Oh, we have a little visitor. Hi, Zach. Hey, how's it going?

Wonderful.

We just heard this delightful story of Paris on New Year's. What a story, huh? Yeah, you guys made it.

We made it out alive and got a little one to show for it. Yes, you do.

Successful trip. She looks like Cindy Lou Who right now. She does.

What's her name?

Winnie.

Oh, my God, that is so cute.

Winnie, what a cute name. Go see, Anne.

Oh, what's she say?

She wants to go watch the Anne's Go March.

Oh, yes, as you should, as you should.

I want to do that too.

Well, nice meeting you, beautiful family.

You too. Thank you guys so much.

All right, take care. Bye, Winnie. Oh, my God, what a cutie pie.

She was so cute.

She wasn't. She said something in a little baby voice.

I know. I want to watch the show with Monica.

Make me a milkshake.

Make me some ants.

Ants on a log?

Yeah, that was never for me because of raisins. I don't like raisins.

You hate raisins.

Hello. Hello.

Evan, how are you?

Doing very well. Really good to see you guys.

You've hung up some sound dampening.

Thank you.

My pleasure. Yeah, I've made a full blanket fort for you guys.

I really appreciate it. Dax thinks I'm making this up. You said that last time because someone was on. I cut it out. But someone was on and said, I'm adhering to the bit of making it soundproof.

It's not a bit.

I almost had to cut a whole story because someone was in the bathroom and you can barely understand.

Right. It's not a bit. It's sincere. But it has become a bit. That's also true.

It has become a bit, but I need everyone to

please follow the rules. Follow the rules, even though it's a bit.

I'm sweating in here. I've got blankets up all directions.

I feel like Evan died at the hands of this request. Where are you, Evan?

Right now, I am in my trailer that I live out of in Sedona.

Oh, we love Sedona. We had the best trip there.

Enchanted.

It's a pretty special place. My wife and I live full time on the road. So we're in Sedona for a bit and then on to the next place.

So how long will you stay in Sedona? How long have you been there?

We've been here for about a week. We'll be here for another couple of weeks. And then I think we'll head a little farther south. Just kind of chasing 70 degrees. Get as much mountain biking and climbing in as possible.

So you're a climber.

Yes.

I would love to see you with your shirt off. I can tell things are really tight. I can tell by the deltoids. And it's not even a revealing shirt. But I know you have arrows.

Oh, God.

You do, don't you?

If it keeps getting warmer. in here, we can write that.

He has arrows, Monica. Okay. Okay. Okay, Evan, please tell us about your holiday story.

Please tell us about your arrows.

Please show me your arrows and then tell me about the holiday story.

Okay. So this one takes place around Christmas time last year. And so a little backstory. My mother-in-law is a lifelong nurse. And she has worked every major holiday for the last 10 years.

In a permanent dwelling then? Or were you on the road then as well?

Permanently dwelling in Boulder. there. We were there for three years. We've been in Colorado for 10 years. Just this last summer, we decided to...

You said, fuck this.

Try something different. Yeah. Yeah. So we arranged to get her the postcard Christmas that she deserves. We booked a little cabin up in the woods, this little mountain town in Colorado, and everything was all set to go.

This happened to me in Miami for the Formula One race two years ago. It feels unacceptable. Like when it happens, you're like, no, no, no. This can't happen.

I agree.

What if Evan proceeds to tell us that he murdered the proprietor of this? And now he's on the road. He's on the run. He's on the lam.

Spoiler. Yeah, these blankets are up all the time. But yeah, it was awful. It was devastating. Mostly for mom, right?

Is that a typical millennial thing? Yeah, what's the hang up? Is it like too corny, or it's too indulgent, too materialistic? What is the objection?

Maybe the materialism, and just like owning the stuff. Yeah. Like at my mom's house, there's a whole wall of boxes.

I get that.

Then I'm an atypical millennial because I love so much stuff.

You want to ultimately die from being buried under your...

All my stuff.

Not credenzas, but what do you keep collecting? Armors, yeah. Death by armor.

So we got the Christmas tree. You know, we got the tinsel and everything and we got it set up and it was looking pretty good. We had the Christmas music going and the little fireplace video on the TV looking real cozy.

Oh, nice.

So extra special Christmas in Colorado because last year, a wicked cold front came through and it got to negative 19 degrees in, like the Denver Boulder area and a couple of days leading up to Christmas. So my in-laws fly in from Florida to be greeted by the negative 19 degree weather, but we're making it work and we're hanging out in the house for a few days. Another piece of backstory is that half of my in-laws have Crohn's disease. So you can imagine the toilets in our house, we're getting a little bit of work. They're getting some exercise in the couple of days leading up to this.

Yeah, stretching their legs.

Flash forward to Christmas Eve. We're having a nice Christmas Eve breakfast, drinking our Christmas Eve coffee and coffee, you know, starts doing what it tends to do. Sure, sure. Time to go to the bathroom. And so, my father-in-law and me, there are two bathrooms upstairs.

Oh, wow.

Wow, wow, wow, wow.

This is exciting. I'm going to resist guessing. Yeah, thanks. Yeah, Monica hates it. Monica hates me.

So I guess a pipe had burst and it had crashed through the ceiling and shit all over Christmas.

Okay, the exhaust of the toilet ruptured, flooded the ceiling. The ceiling immediately buckled or got saturated and crumbled.

Flimsy ceiling and it just went right through.

Raining dad shit. Yeah.

Wow.

Merry Christmas. All over our apartment. Christmas miracle.

Leading up to it, we had a few days of the toilet, getting some work done by the rest of the family too. So it was about as bad as you could have asked for. Oh.

Were people like puking and stuff? I mean, once it happened.

I gotta imagine, though, the whole family's pretty chill with shit if everyone has Crohn's.

Raining on you is a different scenario.

That is a new development. But I imagine no one's like super touchy about it, right?

The number of poop jokes and farting out loud, it's just part of the process. Yeah. This was a little next level, but it's definitely something we're used to.

Who begins cleaning it up? Your father-in-law?

I don't know actually who began cleaning it up. But I think there was a good moment of shock and pause. And then we said, okay, well, we got to do something about this. And so we start cleaning up and we call the complex manager. And they were amazing.

Christmas Eve. Yeah.

I don't know what the etiquette is on this, but I didn't want to subject this angel saint, who's coming out on Christmas Eve to come help us. I didn't want to subject him to a toilet bowl full of my own shit. So I did what made sense at the time. And I said, okay, well, if I can't flush it down, let's like, get it out the other way.

Okay. You thought I better transfer it.

Yes, exactly. Okay. I'm glad you guys aren't thinking this is totally weird. So I get the doggy bags, right?

Yeah, this is great.

Put your hand in there and dip it in and just picking things out one at a time.

Obviously. it goes without saying. it was firm enough for you to do that.

Lucky.

I'm so glad you asked. So. I've picked up plenty of dog poop in my life and you kind of know what it feels like. There's something extra awful about picking up your own poop out of cold toilet bowl water.

Okay.

Yeah.

That had been sitting there for like 20 minutes. This is going to be one of those ones you can't listen to. It was not nearly as solid as any of us were expecting. I was definitely hoping it would be a bit of an easier job, and it turned into a bit of a disaster. Yeah.

Sure. Problem number two, the transfer. If this is a movie, there'd be a title card. This should be a movie.

I don't understand how it's not. The shittiest Christmas imaginable.

There we go. So picked up as much as I could, and I honestly probably made it worse. This poor plumber has to deal with that. But thinking about it now, like our whole house was just covered in shit anyways. I don't think he probably would have been too offended by seeing one more.

Yeah, yeah.

In its respective area.

Yeah, at least it was contained in the commode.

The complex arranges for us to get in a hotel. It's amazing. You know, last second hotel, Christmas Eve. Well, we get out there and it's only one room. It's a decent sized room, but it's one room and there are six of us.

The shit family's here. Oh my God. The shits have arrived.

You guys walk in and everyone's like, ew. But we were going to make it work. We didn't want to ruin Christmas. We had all the presents in the car and we were just about to move in. And then we got a call from the complex saying, hey, your house is fixed.

Again, flashbacks to the O.R. for mom.

Yeah, she just can't escape.

And then there was sterilizing fluids everywhere.

She probably was very much looking forward to avoiding that on Christmas. And we brought it to her.

So what if the mom, like midway through all this was like, I'm going to work the rest of the Christmas.

Yeah, I'm never taking Christmas off.

I learned my lesson. The universe wants me to be helping.

We got it so clean that the skin on my wife's feet were falling off because of all the disinfectants. And then the next day we just had an absolutely fabulous Christmas. Just made extra special by the events the day before.

Wow. Yeah. Very bonding to be through some trauma like that. Oh, well, Evan, this was, this was lovely. Right up my alley.

Yeah, we haven't had a poop in a while. So that was good. We needed it.

We did.

Yeah, figured. Yeah. Nice, poopy Christmas story.

All right. Well, have fun out on the road. And if you feel indulgent, go to Enchanted and get the burger. If you eat burgers. Holy shit.

Evening plans right there.

It's so fucking good. There's brisket on it.

Is it called Enchantment?

Enchantment? Do you know the hotel we're talking about in Sedona? There's a really nice hotel in Sedona, in its own little cave. And I think it's Enchantment. All right.

You too.

Oh, I feel itchy because of this sweater and because of that story.

You want that tank top?

Yeah. Hi.

Hello. Hi.

We can hear you so well.

Oh, good. I'm glad.

How are you? I'm good. How are you?

It's so good to see you guys.

Right back at you. Where are you at?

I'm in Olympia, Washington.

Yeah, you are.

I really like your middle part.

Oh, thank you.

A fisherman always sees another fisherman at sea.

I'm doing middle parts now.

I love it.

With great feedback. It's all over the comments. People love how you look with a middle part. Every third comment is about your middle part.

I love your sweater. Thanks.

Great color.

It's a little itchy right now.

Just debating, switching into something else. That's what you heard at the beginning.

Yeah, tank top. But I do like the way it looks. Thank you.

Okay, so you're in Olympia. And does your holiday story take place in Olympia?

It does not. It is an actual holiday vacation. So we left for the holidays.

Okay, let's hear it.

Yes, okay. So the vacation happened 2022.. So last Christmas time. The story begins in 2021.. My family doesn't take that many vacations.

Are you the middle?

I'm the oldest.

You're the oldest. Oh, okay.

So we waited too long to book where we're going to stay. And finally, we're like, okay, there's nowhere to go. So we'll just try and postpone it. So we postpone. My dad has to write a letter to the airline to get a new booking going.

He's making up for the shit in the bed the previous year. Exactly.

Yeah. We are set to go Christmas Eve, through New Year's Eve. So we wake up Christmas Eve. And it's the day that the ice storm of Washington last year hit us.

Oh, no.

There's two inches of just straight up ice all over Washington.

Oh, my God.

In the news, people were sliding down hills. Cars were sliding all over the place. People were ice skating.

I remember these videos. Yeah, cars like just slowly sliding down a hill and ping-ponging into the parked cars. And the parked cars even started moving.

Yes, it was treacherous. But we're not thinking about that. We're like, we're going on vacation tonight.

Infinity pool. Infinity pool.

Exactly. Let's figure this out. It awaits. And we're all excited. And then my mom and I are sitting around the table, kind of getting ready.

Oh, my Lord. This sucks. We got to leave the little sister behind.

Oh, really?

Probably.

This is a whole conversation. Wow. Not on Christmas.

I mean, utilitarian. Should everyone suffer because someone didn't look at their passport?

Yes.

OK. I think, for family.

Let's see. Let's see how this unravels.

We discuss leaving her behind. And she's like, it's. OK, guys. I'll go back.

Let me just say, if it were me, I would be like, absolutely don't stay. For sure. I would never allow that.

But then you'd still have to stay. It's like, you, as the person have to make everyone go. But then they have to stay. Right.

OK. All right. OK, that's the rules.

That's the rules. OK.

So we decide no one gets left behind. We're like, OK, how can we still have a vacation? My dad's like, I'm not staying here. That's for sure. I took this time off.

Yeah, I would argue might be better than the original plan.

And the dates are important. So we were supposed to be there Christmas Eve through New Year's Eve. So we re-rent our tickets to Hawaii. We end up leaving the 28th and plan to come back the 2nd of January.

On my birthday.

Yeah, happy birthday, Dax.

Yeah, it's a great plan.

We get there. It's wonderful. Day one, my dad wakes up. And he's like, I'm not feeling that great. Like, my stomach kind of hurts.

Oh, no. Some people are not meant to travel. Like, how many red flags can you get?

Literally. We go to the beach. We're hanging out. It just kind of progressively gets worse. But we're still having a good time.

12-hour bug.

We carry on with our vacation. And that night, my mom wakes me up in the middle of the night. And she's like, hey, dad's not doing well at all. And I was like, oh, my gosh, what's going on? She's like, his stomach got worse.

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

Me too.

My mom's, like, you got to pick one, buddy, because you don't have both. I'm the only one awake. It's in the middle of the night. And she's like, OK, I'm going to take him to the ER. You tell us where to go.

No way.

Oh, congratulations.

He did a good job with his body.

Dual diagnosis. They call it in psychology. Wow.

Oh, appendicitis and a kidney stone?

He needs to be on all of the fentanyl at that point.

Oh, my god. Wow. An absolute disaster. So he has to get emergency surgery in Hawaii. On our family vacation.

Oh, what a trooper. I really relate to this guy.

But did he pass the stone?

Yes, he passed the stone as well.

While he was in the hospital. This guy's efficient. From first pain to done with everything. 36 hours. And he had appendicitis and a kidney stone.

And he, cliff, jumped in the middle. Yes, what a beast. Oh, my god. Thank god nothing happened during the cliff jump. Because it could have exploded.

Or the stone could have popped out.

Well, that'd be good.

Right when he hit the water, he was like, ah, ooh, relief.

What if it all happened?

The appendix exploded.

And then it burst. Burst it. So it was a mix of relief and new pain. Oh, my god. Sorry, we're late in the day here.

I love it.

He was back on the beach though the next day?

He was back on the beach the next day. We ended up having a really great time. But then we made the connection, though. Had we originally gone to Mexico, the dates that we were there, we would have been leaving the day that he had to get surgery and orbit on the plane. So this whole thing was...

Meant to be.

Yeah.

Or in a Cancun emergency room.

Or on a plane trying to land.

So it's a mix of terrible luck and great luck.

Exactly. We get back and obviously everybody's like, how was your trip? Who hadn't even heard that? we ended up in Hawaii. And we told them the whole story and they were just like, what happened?

Oh, that's great. It's incredible. they make mugs like that, right?

There's so many people have gone through this. Exactly.

Wow. What if the mug actually said, so sorry about your appendix and your kidney killing on vacation. Merry Christmas. And it was on the shelf at Meijer. And Walmart.

Wow.

That was great.

Oh, Olivia, you guys made it.

We made it.

What are you doing this year? Are you going to stay home? Are you going to go somewhere? Are you going to go back to Hawaii?

We are not going anywhere. Yeah.

Good move. Everyone just lay low.

Stay close.

Work right through the holiday. Well, merry holidays to you. And I hope this one's much easier, but still fun and connected.

You, guys too. Thank you.

All right.

Bye.

I hate waving now.

You took it from me. It's really weird. what's happened.

You stole it. Yeah.

I'm at brush. I'm like Orna. I don't brush my hair.

And you're giving therapy of sorts.

Yeah, I'm trying.

What if we got to talk to somebody real time? They were on their trip. How about that'd be cool. On their holiday trip, and it was going terribly.

That'd be great.

Pretty bummed. Evan didn't show us his arrows.

Oh, I don't think so.

You guys went to Florida. a lot, right? We did. Yeah, for Disney World.

Maybe we did go there, but I don't know. I don't remember. We went to Clearwater. I have a t-shirt. Oh.

Hi. Hi.

Hello.

How are you? Cora is such a fun name.

Thank you. Growing up, it was just like an old lady name. And now it's become really popular.

These names, they circle back around.

Where are you from Cora?

So I'm from Washington state. I'm like 30 minutes north of Portland. Right now we're actually in Medford.

Okay. So you have a crazy holiday story. Yeah.

So preface, I will say that I'm the oldest of six kids. Whoa. I grew up Mormon and it was never like, oh, we have to have as many kids as possible. But just how it turned out, had six kids. I was the oldest.

Okay.

Okay. 18 years ago. Yeah.

My dad has one brother and he works for Boeing in Seattle, but they live in Maple Valley area. So every other Christmas we would kind of flip flop, of like going up there, visit, they'd come back. So that year we went up there and I had one cousin. I was the oldest. I'm also one of the only girls.

Okay.

And it was like one of those where you have like the office underneath.

And was it official? Had it been bought as a kit, or did dad fabricate this whole thing and make it too high?

He would have, but I think he did buy it as a kit. It was one of those that it came with, like a desk.

Oh, I love it. Yeah.

But she also had a ceiling fan and it overlapped the bottom corner of this bunk bed. And so, to bypass any issues, my uncle had just decided he was going to duct tape the switch down.

Totally easy fix.

As the oldest of six children, there were a lot of times where it's very hectic. This was Christmas Eve Eve. So we went up there for like Christmas Eve, and then we were planning on having Christmas back at our house.

This is Big Mac, McDonald's, Big Mac. Yeah, it's our day. Yes. This is a holiday as well.

Yeah. So, just to get away from everything, I decided I was going to go into the bedroom. I was going to climb up in the bed and I was going to read. That year it was Harry Potter.

Oh, yeah.

The sixth one had just come out that year. I reread all of them all the time. Now. I re-listen to them all the time.

Best narrator in the history of books. 100%. Impossibly good. Better than any acting performance I've ever seen in a movie.

I have an 18 month old and he, unbeknownst to him, has been listening to that. And you guys his entire life.