Christina Aguilera: Getting Dirty & Talking Sex [VIDEO]
2023-04-05 01:01:05
The most-listened to podcast by women. Alex Cooper’s Call Her Daddy has been creating conversation since 2018. Cooper cuts through the BS with topics and guests - asking the burning questions you want the answers to. There will be laughter, there will be tears. There will be everything in between. New episodes drop on Wednesday and Sunday. Want more? Join the Daddy Gang @callherdaddy
What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, we call her daddy.
Christina Aguilera Welcome to call her daddy.
Hi.
I'm staring at your nails. Oh yes, what's happening?
They're so fun, you know, they're, um, you know, it's open to interpretation.
Is that a vagina?
It could be a vagina, it could be lips, but two in the same, both pleasure points. You know, holy shit, and then on the um, and then there's an actual mouth on the um, you know, and tongue on the on the thumb.
I mean, this couldn't be more appropriate for a call. Her Daddy episode Casual Christina Aguilera is like, it could be lips, it could be my pussy lips. Yes, yes, God bless you. All. Up for interpretation.
It's amazing, I love it. I need to gas you up for a second. Okay, oh, because just in case anyone fucking forgot, you are a seven time Grammy award winning singer songwriter. You have sold more than 75 million records worldwide. No big fucking deal.
You're an international pop icon, voice of a generation, fiance, mother, chief brand advisor and co-founder of Playground. And this is your first ever podcast. And you chose Call her Daddy, and I am so fucking honored.
It is, it is, I'm so honored.
Dude, I can't believe when I heard you'd never done a podcast, I was like, sit down, baby girl, let's go.
I said yes to you because I've seen you pop up, um, on social media, which didn't exist when I was coming up in this business. And you know, I've been doing this since I was like six or seven, basically. So, um, but you feel safe, and I always. I appreciate that, you know, because I've been through the gamut of a lot of interviews and people that, you know. I grew up at a time where it was, like, appropriate to be inappropriate and ask, you know, crazy things. But I always feel it's never like the most intelligent way to go. Because when you make someone feel safe, they want to open up more.
And you always do, and you're so pretty, by the way.
Oh my god.
Right back at you, I think I've always thought.
No, I really appreciate that, because I agree, I think that's what I want to talk to you a little bit about. Today is just like your journey has been so public and you've been in front of people for so many years. That it's like, I almost feel like people feel like they deserve a piece of you, like you're a piece of the public.
And I think it's important to sit down and like, humanize people in those situations. Because it's like, you're a human being. You have feelings. You've gone through shit. Yes, you're also like the Queen of reinvention.
You have had so many fucking eras, it's like, iconic, iconic, iconic. Aside from, like, the present moment, what is your most favorite era of your own?
I mean, it's got to be probably stripped and dirty and beautiful. And Fighter can't hold us down. You know, it was the time when I was turning, you know, I was 20, 21, I'd already gotten my foot in the door and my first album was successful. But it was still very like, played by the rules. And, you know, very given a, you know, set by, you know, label, very label driven. And so after that, I, you know, was like, you know, I have to do songs that mean something to me and are valid to who I am. And being fearless and talking about anything.
And that includes sexuality. I felt that there was like a lot of shame and fear around the subject. And especially, you know, as a woman, we're raised with a lot of stigma. There's a lot of, you know, it's so layered and it's tough to be a woman. So I wanted to really be who I was. And make it a safe space for, you know, everyone, to feel good and make it a conversation.
That era of yours for women in general. But it's also so funny we can look back on it. But I know there was pushback during that era, which we'll talk about because it's so funny. Like, now it's like, Oh, go off, Christina, but it's also like, crazy to then read the tabloids back then.
Oh, a hundred percent.
Well, first, how does it feel like the amount of people that still recreate your outfits? Whether it was red carpet music videos like It's insane every fucking Halloween, it's like Christina everywhere. How does that feel that that's still so powerful in people's minds?
It's incredible, I love it so much, just because, you know, now it's celebrated and it feels good. And even the people that, you know, got it then. But there was a lot of pushback, there was a lot of, you know, double standards with it.
And there was a lot of, you know, because I went on tour with, you know, Justin, we did the Strip Justified Tour. And there were things where I was just like, why is it OK for him and not OK for me, you know what I mean? So it's just like I was constantly pushing back in my way.
I mean, it was so inappropriate sometimes the things that were were asked about that era.
It's so crazy to me and I, again, I agree with you. Like that comparison of like, a man doing the same thing, which we'll get into. Because it's like, I'm doing the same thing. And yet I'm being called a slut and like, he's like, the boy next door.
Let's go back to the first time that you stepped on a stage. You were nine years old, competing on the show Star Search. Whose idea was it for you to do a show like that?
I was at that time raised by my mom and my grandma, so strong women, and my grandma specifically really was so proud. And, you know, really pushed it to be, like, taken seriously as something to be professional. Because singing always just came to me, it's like this, this release. I grew up in a chaotic, you know, upbringing as a very young child. And always kind of like, feeling like a protector and all that. And always felt isolated. Sort of in my, in my situation. And so singing, it was the sound of music that first inspired me to sing.
And from then, I just, you know, it was just a release in a form of expression for me before I even understood what that meant. And then whenever my parents got divorced, moved in with my grandma, my grandma was like, you know, this could be something.
It's so crazy that you're like, I just saw it as like a release where I was using. And meanwhile, we see you as one of the most truly talented singers of period. Point blank, like hit notes that no one can, but you kind of mentioned your childhood. And again, I think something in media is like, we see this version of you that's so put together and it's like, Oh, it's Christina Aguilera.
She has money, she has fame. You mentioned that you kind of grew up in an abusive household, but do you remember, like, the first moment you realized, like, this is unsafe or something was wrong?
Fear, you know, you have to listen to your body, and you know, fear is is something that, you know, you innately feel. You know, so right then and there, you know something doesn't feel good and it's not right, and then, you know, having so much.
Compassion for my mother. And seeing, you know, when you see someone being hurt, someone you love, yeah, that, you know, I still, you know. At 42, I'm still affected by this. It's under the surface. Trauma never leaves you, you just figure out ways to try and heal it.
And and to me, it's therapeutic to speak about it. And I saw my mom, you know, go through so much that I think that instilled a level of purpose for me in the sense of I. I always want to try and empower other people and people in situations where they feel voiceless and unheard. And I just have such a deep rooted need to try, and, you know, use my voice. And I would later discover and understand what that meant to me.
But it never leaves you and your trigger. When you see movies. When I, when I, you know, I just immediately go to that place, you know? And I've done a lot of healing and a lot of growth and releasing, you know, a lot of anger comes with that, a lot of shame comes with that. But you know, it takes a lot for a woman to leave those situations as well. And my heart goes out because some of them don't leave them.
And, you know, and that could vary in a lot of ways. You know, sometimes it's financial, sometimes it's fear of authorities not helping, and then it getting worse. Or, you know, sometimes they're, you know, sometimes it feels like there's no way out.
But, you know, my mom, luckily, you know, she really would do these drives from at the time. It was the last straw from Jersey to my grandma's in Pittsburgh. And we would just do these nightly, just me, her and my little sister, and we would just like, do the night drive. But, you know, all of that, it stays with you, but it's become a part of.
What's important to me is my message.
When you say you would do these drives, was it while your mom had?
I've never talked about that before, yeah.
You're dead girl, yeah, fuck.
Five minutes in.
No, but I'm like, Holy fuck. Like, was that when you were still, your mom hadn't left your dad yet, but you were like, or had they left?
There was some back and forth, there's some back, there's, you know, there's. There was some back and forth. There's always the tug of like, I'm never going to do it again.
You know, there's, there's sweet talking involved, there's a lot of shame also in, like, Well, why don't you just leave? It is so much more complicated than that, and it's a mental breakdown of self-esteem, and you start to believe someone else's narrative and verbal abuse to you.
And it self-esteem is something that can break down so easily, even to the most powerful woman executive. It doesn't matter what you do this, you know, we can go on stage and have these larger than life personas. But all it takes is for you to believe someone's negative narrative about you. Once it's in there and it's working its way in, that's why I'm, like, so adamant with my daughter.
I'm just like, first time somebody ever hits you, the first time somebody makes you feel not right about yourself. Woo girl, I'm so protective mama bear.
But as you should be, because, like you said, like, you have that trauma in you that, like, you're like, I watch a fucking movie and I can feel it. And I love what you said about the concept of when someone says, why don't you just leave? When people say that, it's such an ignorant statement that, like, pisses me off. I had a loved one that was in an abusive relationship. And you're like, it's so much more fucking complex.
But to leave, do you remember the moment that was like your mom was like, we're out?
Yes, officially. When the abuse started to really turn on to me, you know, we were living in Japan for like three years, so we were super isolated. Which is where I started singing, and looking back, that's where I started to kind of like, sing out of this window. I have a like thing about like windows and like they, just when you're feeling just, you know, trapped.
I don't know. There's something about the representation of a window, and just like there's hope on the other side, you know? So that's where I started, you know, singing these songs from, like the sound of music and just myself. And just that image I'll always remember. It's like a core memory of just like there's like something on the other side.
There's like a bigger world, there's a bigger purpose. I felt it as at a really young age. But yes, it was like a matter of things. And like, you're in a foreign country where my dad was in the army.
So we're on an army base. I mean, in a situation like that, too, abuse runs rampant. You know, the walls are paper thin, you know where we're living, and you can hear abuse just happening on the other side of the wall, you can hear.
I mean, you know, it's terrifying and it's like all you want to do is help. But a lot of times, even when you call the authorities, you don't get the help that you need. And then the door shuts and you're with your abuser again. So it's so important to try and research all you can, speak to people that you can trust, and really, you know, try and get yourself out of these situations.
Because, you know, worst case scenario, you won't, you know, live to tell the story about it.
Was it hard for your mother to, as a single mother, take care of you and your sister? Like, then you started making money? were you kind of providing for your family? Yes, yes, sweetheart.
Yes, still am, but you know what? In this role, too, it comes with responsibility and responsibility that, you know, I know, is destined for me. And I take on and I take it on, you know well.
When you're in those situations, you grow up really fast and you become like an immediate caretaker and protector of the person that's being hurt. And so, yeah, this is just like, kind of like my role, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
All my dogs are rescues. Like, you know, I'm just that person, your mother, your mother. Yes, I'm a mother.
I think back and I'm like, 12 years old, you join the Mickey Mouse club. Brittany Justin and I'm thinking about, like, how wild that time must have been for your life. What do you remember like learning at 12 about the industry at that time?
It's a work ethic, you know, it teaches you work ethic. You're given a schedule, you know where you are, on a call sheet. You know like it's very disciplined, and you either built for that or you're not, you know.
And it's something that you realize very quickly if you know you're cut out for that kind of lifestyle. It's hectic, it's chaotic, it's go, go, go.
It's on the run and that only builds, you know, the more you create. And I have to say, and my mom would always say this too, you know, she wasn't like your typical like. I would be around these kids who were just like, really forced to do this, you know? And my heart would break for them. And my mom would be like, what is wrong with her?
Like, you know, because you see these mothers and the kid doesn't even want to do it. But it was just this is what I was born to do. So it was something that we really knew and I pushed, you know, for the performances to happen again. Like, just in the most. I think organic way to start, just like because I loved it, yeah.
And for the first time, I was around a bunch of other kids who really loved it, too. Like it was just, you know, born performers, right? And it was really cool to feel that energy. Because, you know, coming up in school, in the town that I grew up, it wasn't really like, you know, it's a sports town, you know?
And that kind of thing was very celebrated, but like, arts and creativity and whatnot, you have that in Pittsburgh. But yeah, I just didn't have a lot of kids that truly loved doing that, and those kids were just how talented everyone was. Brian Gosling.
Like, you know, Keri Russell, there was just so many people that it was just like, Wow, what a casting agent, you know, to get everybody together.
I do relate to like, feeling a little bit like you're out of place where you grew up. And it only exacerbates the feeling of like, wanting to get out and wanting to find like-minded people. But it's so interesting also hearing you talk, because it's like it feels like you were almost made to have to grow up very quickly in many ways. Where, like your ambition, immediately led you to working at a young age, your family situation, you had to grow up quickly.
Is there anything that you wish that you could have done more? As, like a child and in your younger life, that you didn't really get to have a normal childhood?
That's a good question in really thinking about it. Probably no.
Like, I have my life.
No, sometimes I would, you know, because I was working a lot, but I wanted to go, you know, I wanted to, you know, I wanted to work. You know. I've always operated on, like fight or flight, you know, in many different ways. And the more successful you are, of course, more is going to come with that. That's very demanding and very scrutinizing.
Do you think, though, there is the part of you that was really ambitious? Yes, and then, naturally, like, we are who we are from, like our childhood, and nature versus nurture. Like when you say, like, you were always running, wanting to go, have you connected that at all to also like your childhood?
It could have been, I haven't really dissected that part, but I always dreamt really big, you know, I always dreamt really big. And yeah, it could be looking for some sort of maybe escapism. I mean, I think half the people that are in this business where we need, you know, it's. It sucks because we're the most sensitive people on the planet. Yet. We're looking for, like, you know, but we have this like, you know, alter ego that we have to turn on. To get the work done. And to and to, you know, follow a schedule.
But also that makes us so vulnerable and in needing some kind of weird validation.
Totally, totally your breakout solo Jeannie in a bottle, I was going to say, top the charts.
That's like a fucking understatement. It took over the world. What do you remember about the day that that song was released?
I was still in New York, I was living, I was on my own pretty early to trying to get a record deal. And so I was like, you know, house hopping from, like, odd places from my manager's house in the time to another man, like, it was very odd and weird.
And I would, again, Mama bear, like never with my daughter. I would be so protective and overseeing all that, which is a whole other story. But in New York, yeah, was where I started hearing it on the radio for the first time. So the album wasn't completely done and out, and I was just remember hearing that.
And I was just like, Oh my God. And it took me back to like, driving around the car in Pittsburgh. And only hoping that I would like hear my song one day on the radio and just dreaming about it again. Big dreamer Sagittarius Very like, You know, Sky's the limit. We're going to do this. So it was the most amazing feeling in the world.
Yeah.
And I think, again, it's almost like dissecting, like what everyone was watching in the world was like genie in a bottle. Christina Aguilera Like this hot, amazing, talented young woman. Then you're saying, like, Oh, I'm like, living with managers. I'm like, kind of in sketchy situations where the world probably wouldn't even fucking fathom that. Christina Aguilera wasn't like, set up and all good, but what were you emotionally going through at that time?
Man, that's a loaded question. What was I emotionally going through at that time? I mean, looking back, I probably I didn't have much time to even think about anything. I was given the schedule, I was told what to do, you know, told what to do.
My true opinion didn't really matter from everything, you know, like, I remember, like, you know, being told what to wear, what the image was going to be, and, you know, not feeling super comfortable. That's also the product of a kid being raised in the business, too, you know, growing up, and like, you're constantly being told by adults, and mainly men, you know how and what to be. And you're hearing conversations too of what they their ideal, you know, woman should be and look like. And so at a young, impressionable age, like, I just remember it was just so. You take certain things on and then you have to, like, reprogram, to think for yourself and what makes sense for you.
So it's a lot, you know, to take on. So your dreams are coming true. But you're not quite getting to be the person that you want to be and telling the stories you want to tell.
It's like, so helpful.
I didn't live through all that for nothing.
But straight up, I will be real with you, it's I really think it's so helpful to hear you talk about this. Because I remember myself sitting at home with my older sister watching these videos. And to know that, like this first era, not to take anything away from it. But like, that wasn't fully you like. That was like a lot of men in a room constructing like, let's have her hair look like this and let's like, have her wear this. Which I get as part of the industry.
But also then my heart goes out for baby Christina because I'm like that age. For a young woman to already be dealing with like insecurities and figuring yourself out. And then to have men be like, we need this, this, this. You were, like, exposed to such a different level of criticism and someone being so fixated on your looks, like, how did that affect your self-worth?
I mean, it's a lot, I mean, you could only imagine it's. It's difficult enough growing up and trying to figure it out away from the camera. But being, you know, in front of it and, you know, scrutinized and picked apart and judged, and and everybody's got a different opinion. That's the one thing I learned really early on is like, whoa, no matter what I do like, somebody's going to be anti it and somebody's not going to be happy with it. And I was like, and I'd always diaried and journaled, and like, always had this. Thank God, this core sense of myself and what I wanted, my purposes and my messages to do and and to help.
And that's what I feel like, kept me riding that core line of like, bringing me back to real purpose and and to be authentic with what I did.
Then you decided, Fuck this. I'm going to add my twist and add actually Christina into the mix of who I am and what I want to be. And you came out with the dirty music video, which is so fucking iconic. I was watching it this morning, just being like, every time, every time, I just get excited to watch it. But at the time, the press pinned you as this bad girl.
They were slut shaming you, there were literally celebrities coming out being like, goddamn like, she like, looks like a whore, she looks like a slut, which is so fucking crazy. Because as I was watching it, rewatching it this morning, I was like, it's such a major celebration of the female body and sexuality. How do you remember breaking away from what everyone wanted you to do and making this happen? Slash?
Then how did those comments affect you once you released it?
Yeah, so many things popping through my mind. Yeah, yeah.
Let's go.
Like, 10 answers that I could think of. But yes, I was actually surprised because, like, I was so in my zone of. Just like, expressing and creating this album and and just truly trying to make every facet of it speak of myself as as a woman. And I didn't, and I didn't want to fit a box of like, I'm sweet and vulnerable and demure. And I'm going to, you know, do the program, you know, pop format, but I'm not any particular one thing or one brand.
And that's what I did not like about the business is the fact that they immediately try to box you and label it so that it's easier for them to understand. But it was hard, you know, being a kid and being like, Oh my God, I'm just trying to live my life, I'm 21, I'm having fun, like.
These were my college years, you know, this was my moment, except everybody could see it, but I was having. You know, I'm an artist. At the end of the day, I, you know how this is how I express myself, you know? And I wasn't just coming with Dirty, you know? Then we came with Beautiful and then we came with Fighter, which was representation. Kind of of, you know, my past and and going against the grain of people that I felt really wronged me.
Because that's another thing you, you know, people steal from you, people that are so close to you. I remember being so devastated about people that I that really disappointed me to my core. I was like, Oh wow, like, I feel really alone.
You know, like it was it really like, and then you want to retreat, and then you want to get defense mechanisms up, and then you don't trust anyone. Like, as if I didn't already have trust issues, you know, from my childhood.
I was about to say.
Layers on, layers, on, layers. But. But in any case, you know, it's part of my journey. It's what I was meant to go through. And honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. Because had I not gone through all these things, I wouldn't sing the way I do, I wouldn't create the way I don't, write the way I do.
I was like a sponge, I just like, took it all in, and when I was ready to just be like, no more. I don't care. And I remember being quoted saying, You know, I don't care. This next record if I sell one record or 1 million, like all the the cool, like accolades and stuff.
That's amazing, I'm grateful. But at the end of the day, I have to, like, sit with myself and feel like I'm contributing a bigger thing to the world than just a pop song and a chart and an award. Like, it's deeper than that to me.
And that's what I always, and that's what I set out to do with Stripped. And I was able to do it, thank God, you know, after getting my foot in the door. But I was going to then play by my own rules and represent the kind of woman that I wanted to be.
I'm just like sitting here a little, not in shock, but I will say, like, you truly never know what you're going to get. When someone walks in a door and I'm picturing Christina Aguilera, like, grew up obsessing over you had posters like, You're so fucking normal. I don't know where I would be if, like, at this age I started working, and at this age I'm living with creepy managers. And then this age, people are stealing from you and like to see, like, you sitting here and having such like a grasp on what happened to you.
But every statement you constantly are like. But I'm grateful and like, I have perspective. And like, it's really cool to see how you've kind of taken ownership of what you can. Don't give any of those bastards like any fucking out. Though. I look back at articles and I feel like there were so many comments on your blog, you're like, Oh, the articles.
You're like, sweetie, which one take a step? Is there alcohol here?
No, were you happy being known as the tiny girl with the big voice? Like, how did you feel about your body as a young woman, that the world is commenting on your body?
It was crazy growing up. And then, yeah, hearing people talk about, I mean, everything, everything. It's, you know, having opinions on everything, your looks, your voice, your style, your everything.
Back then, you also exuded this like confidence, sexually, like on stage and in your music. And for the world. We were all like, Oh my God, like I want to be like her, like she's so sexy and beautiful and smart and talented. How did you feel about your sexuality back then?
I wanted to always own it, you know, it was important to me. I didn't, I think. Also, you know, the older I got and the more.
And by that time, you know, for most people, that would maybe be in your 30s. To have that mindset of like, I'm going to do things my way, you know, I mean, I'd grown up with so many opinions that I was just like, I'm not going to play by your rules. I'm not going to see myself as you see me. I'm going to own my sexuality for myself. Sexuality is a beautiful thing.
And we need to take care of it. As women, we need to really make sure that we prioritize it and ourselves and what it means to us. Because every woman is different. And I never wanted to also insert the fact that I was so comfortable with my sexuality, like, we're going to dance it.
We're going to, you know what I mean, like, all this stuff? I never wanted to also, you know, even though it did anyway. Make some women, like you know, uncomfortable with what I was doing. But I never wanted to make it. Like, you know, you have to be this way too.
Like, everyone has their different comfort zone with it, and just because I want to express myself this way. Like, let again let people live totally, you know, like, let everybody own it the way they need to own it.
Let's talk about it, you know, and back then, you know, that's what's cool about what you do. What you do is we're able to have these open conversations now. Now I see women more than ever talking to each other and it's like, okay.
And so accessible with our phones and like social media. That's the positive of it. And everything is that we get to, like, have more accessibility to each other and be like, what's happening? too.
Right, like, are we on the same page? Girl? Like, totally.
Yeah, but I didn't have that back then, so yes, it was very hard and very terrifying, and I took so much personal. I really did.
And then you have people in this situation. This is why you're my first podcast, because you have, you know. You're so used to creating these like certain walls and defense mechanisms. Because you're just like, people are baiting you and then you're like, Wait, I didn't say that, and I didn't say it like that.
You know how it is, no, dude?
You're so right because I feel like your era of coming up. It was like extra hard.
Yeah.
Paparazzi, tabloids. I'm like, holy shit like people, so fixated on every single move. What was dating like for you? what was your dating life like as you were like coming up in your career, like late teens?
I didn't really have time for that, but I did.
I always went for things that I would feel safe about, like, you know, we'd have our, you know, you travel and you'd meet certain people. But I was. It's so funny that I gave this persona because I probably was like the last person to lose my virginity. And like, you know, I just, I don't know.
It was something that was for me, you know what I mean, and that's I guess why my messages went. The way they did, too, is because I owned it first, maybe.
But it doesn't matter how it goes down, as long as you find your way and your path with being comfortable with yourself. But we always get, like, off topic.
When did you lose your virginity? Bring me back, tell us.
It was later than you would think, okay, you know, given the girl that was doing dirty and all this, you know. But yeah, it's just it's more of a funny thing, looking back where it's just like people thought, probably like.
You were popping off.
But yeah, it was. I had, you know, I had certain dancers that were like, close quarter. Because you have to, like, you know, you're traveling a lot and you have accessibility to only so many things, so you know, it is what it is. And then you know, like, I mean, yeah, a lot of things that I'm just like, Yeah, maybe I should have realized.
He wasn't looking at me, he wasn't interested in me, you know, he was looking at him.
No, Christina, there's a lot of things, you know, that I'm just like, Oh, sad.
Like, I feel bad for, like my younger self.
Like, Oh.
I love you little PR trained you're like, and maybe a dancer that was more into men.
And I should have seen.
So okay.
So you like you had an interesting experience despite being such an icon. I was looking. I'm like, you don't have too crazy of, like, a celebrity roster attached to your name, I know. And my question is, Miss Aguilera, was that actually because that was intentional?
Or were you just really good at keeping things hidden in a little secret that we didn't know about?
Yeah, I definitely, I've had my experiences, but I also like, Oh, I mean, my life is hectic enough. And like, this is a very narcissistic industry. And, like, my anxieties couldn't maybe take somebody that did the exact same thing I did and like, ran around and traveled.
It's like, I know how this goes, like, I'm too like, I'm too vulnerable for this, I'm too sensitive to, like, be so paranoid. So, like, you know, this business is very demanding, it's a lot.
And yeah, I just, you know, I've definitely like not been into the celebrity thing.
Right, no, that's really refreshing to hear, because it's like you see some people like trying to. It's obvious on the internet like, Oh, this couple is appearing, and it's like to stay relevant. And I can imagine how obnoxious, like that word is of, like, being in the industry for so long.
It's like, how does the stress of like managers and people being like? We need to stay relevant? We need to do this, like, how does that affect you?
It's just annoying more than anything else. I don't want to be corny and be like, but it really is to me about intentions, you know? And if it doesn't feel right to me, like, I just can't do it. I have a really hard time forcing myself. It wasn't interesting to me.
I don't know.
That's so interesting, too, because I feel like.
I like more like the guys next door.
Interesting.
Because, you know what is so fascinating?
It's like, did anyone ever try to be like, Hey, like, look at these people. Doing couples like this will make your career even crazier.
Yeah, I've, you know, I've had I. Just if it's not real to me and authentic, I can't do it. You know, I can't force something as personal as that, totally.
I know you mentioned trust issues, is there any? Because I don't think a lot of us can fathom the amount of cameras and paparazzi back then. Like, is there any paranoia that has lingered in you?
Oh yeah, a hundred percent. I mean, it's. I went through a bad period at a certain time. Where even like the clicking of the camera, paparazzi like, like, just was so like, upsetting to me. I'd like have a panic attack. And I know I've heard other celebrities actually say this too. And then you have really horrible stories that happen whenever you again starting to believe a narrative, you know?
And then, yeah, it's a very weird thing, that kind of attention and that kind of that world. So yeah, that is a part of, too, why. It's just like, you know, it's very anxiety riding for me, you know?
Let's talk a little bit about relationships, and then we're going to talk about sex first with relationships. I'm curious because I am currently in therapy and I think it's so interesting. Of like, we're all trying to undo shit that our parents fucked us up with. It's just the fact I don't care.
If you have perfect parents, then you're still fucked up. So it's like, are there any patterns in relationships, previous relationships that you now kind of recognize? That? You had to stop and try to break moving forward?
Oh, like bad patterns.
Yeah, you know, it's still a process sometimes to really check yourself, too. I think there's accountability in, you know, things, that, even though they're not your fault, you're still conditioned and programmed in a way of fear and paranoia. And also, sometimes not given a good guideline, can really mess you up, you know? Because then it's like, is this normal? or is this just like? or is this something I need to leave the relationship for? Like, I'm so like, into being like, Okay, wait, do I need to be taking this shit right now? or should I walk the fuck away?
Like, you know what I mean, like, what's normal, so it's a constant. I, you know, I'm. I believe in therapy, too, the right kind of therapy.
I know that you mentioned you have, like, a collection of diaries that you've kept for, like, 20, some years. What's a diary entry that makes you kind of sad for your younger self when you read it?
I think, just, yeah, how, how hurt I was because I was so into this. Being like, Uh, one day I'm going to, I'm going to make it. And I'm going to, you know, you know, see myself on MTV and like all this stuff. Like, it was just. It was such a dream and coming from such a good place. To all of a sudden you're shook by all the shit that comes with the success. And yeah, I think it's like, it's sad when I, when I see how, how. Some, like press and articles and some interviews that were just so taken out of context. Or just mean, like, how hurt I was by that, truly, like, affected, and um, and then, yeah, it just makes you internalize negative thoughts about yourself and feelings.
If you can share what was something specific?
You know, back then there was a lot of like, you know, it was a. It was a different business where there was a lot of, you know, female comparisons and double standards with women. And it was a constant, like pitting against each other and like, it just felt like just punches in the face. And it was just, you know, yeah, it's fucking hard, it was. It was hard to just constantly feel like, you know you're making music and doing something you love, and then, you know, someone spinning something so negative about it.
And it was just it was really hard, because sometimes who you were pitted against you actually genuinely, you know, love and like, respected. So it was just like, you know, but again, then you have people like baiting you and and and do you know what she said about you? Well, you know what I mean, and then you're like, wait, but what, you know?
So it's just like, and you're too much of a kid to understand, like, what's happening? I hated that shit, you know, like, that's why. Also, like, now I'm just so excited to see, you know more, you know, exposed women supporting women. Because now you're cutting through the middleman a lot more, which is really, really nice.
Yeah, I think it. It clearly worked for the tabloids to have characters and ideas of if we pit this person against this person, this is going to be. This is going to sell through. Because these are two huge names, or three huge names. Or this cut like, it's so insane and you're, but then it's like, Well, I'm an individual. Why can't I just be Christina Aguilera, this incredible singer, and leave it at that? And then let everyone also have their own careers, because there's so many other people thriving.
I know, and that must've been very-.
I remember there was, Yeah, a headline that was like comparing me with another artist and was like, it's like Roe versus Wade. Pick a side, you know? And I was like, Oh my god, you're so dramatic.
Like-.
You're like, it's not that serious. And I was too young to even really understand what that meant. So I was like, shut the. You could just understand the level of, like, how young I was being thrust into this world. That was like, Wait, what are you saying?
What are you saying?
Like, dude, the pettiness to compare people to Roe v. Wade, like, let's tone it down a notch, TMZ or whoever the fuck. You know what I mean, I know.
Holy fuck. It was like a newspaper, it wasn't even like a yeah, it was too much, it was too much.
Okay, I love to ask people this because it does give insight. What is your biggest insecurity?
Girl, girl, what is my biggest insecurity?
Oh my God, I really wasn't prepared for that question. I don't know I could think of, I mean, every, I don't know every day.
It's something different, it's a part of you like.
What is my biggest insecurity?
Biggest insecurity? I think we all have this, where we just don't feel good enough. I don't know. In every sense, you know, I think we can all pick different parts of ourselves and pick ourselves apart forever. But I really, it's something you have to train yourself against.
When you say you're not good enough.
Take a sip. She's coming back, No, but when you say you're not good enough.
Everything like, you know, I mean, I think this business operates like a business, you know, and it's a whole self worth thing. And then image. Yeah, I've been through the gamut of, you know, people growing up in this business. Are going to see you as a teenager, a kid, they're going to see you as a young woman, coming into your body and expressing yourself.
They're going to see you as a grown woman, they're going to see you be pregnant. They're going to see you go through the gamut of different places and stages of your life, where you're different kind of weights. And you know, we all go through these things as women in general, but yeah, it's so hard to just be inundated with different opinions.
And everybody has different standards for what they want. But again, women like embracing this now more than ever.
Not being good enough, I think, is the perfect answer that makes sense of, just a culmination of this whole interview. It's like you wanting to be yourself and being in an industry where it's like picking apart every fucking thing you do. Whether it's the people you're working with or the media. And it's like, it's never good enough, it's never good enough.
It's almost like never.
Right?
Because everyone has a definition of what good enough means, and then the same people that are rating good enough don't feel good about themselves. And so, like, where is this all? Like, stemming? Totally so. It's cyclical and you have to really isolate your perspective.
Because even whenever you know someone's comparing you to someone else, you're like, Well, wait, should I be compared? Like, you start just second guessing yourself. And so, yeah, it's tough out there.
It's tough out there and how we get through that is by having sex. No, not transition. I'm like, no.
Let's talk about sex.
Yeah.
What is your favorite part about sex?
Getting off.
I mean, like, but it's not that cut and dry my favorite part. I love intimacy, it depends, every person is different, and that's what I love about sexuality.
I love getting into it and finding out how everyone operates. You know how much of a freak are you? how much of a, you know, submissive are you? Like, what is your? what is your playground?
How much of a freak are you, Christina?
How much of a freak are you?
I would say, I actually, this is a question, because I will answer that, I will say. I remember my sex in college. I had lost my virginity in high school. And I was like, I don't even know what I was supposed to just feel from that. Like, what the fuck just happened?
Like, was that supposed to feel good?
Yeah.
And then when I got to college, I felt like, Oh, I'm like, having good sex. No, I fucking wasn't. No, I fucking wasn't. I thought because I was comparing it to high school sex, which was like, literally sandpaper, and it was like awful feeling.
Oh, no, so I'm like, then, I think, as I started to explore my sexuality more like junior senior year of college, I started to be more confident. And kind of being like, fuck the guy, like, I'm going to get myself off, and that's when I got a vibrator.
And I started to use lube. And it's like, when you can get yourself off first and you're like, Oh, that is what I want to feel every time. I'm fucking a guy, a girl, whoever it is. So I would say, as I've explored more in the bedroom, I've just naturally become more of a freak because I'm like, I want to feel this.
I want to feel this with my partner, I want us to, like, explore new things together, if that makes sense. So it's been like a gradual progression. But I would say like, I wasn't like, fucking like, great in college, and I thought I was like a freak.
But nobody, you know, nobody is, nobody knows what they're doing. At first, that's why it should feel like exploration, and it's okay, but you're so insecure at that age.
And you see these movies and all that, you just want to have it all figured out right off the bat. Or you're, too, you know, young to speak up for yourself, and you know, it kills me too. Whenever you're grown and you feel too insecure to speak up for yourself. When you're not in a relationship, that feels safe enough for you to have these conversations.
Or even to compare notes with other women, you know, because it's so shameful, but sex is fun and knowing your body is so important, you know?
And you're only going to know your body when you spend time with yourself first, so that you even know what to ask from your partner or what you like.
Do you incorporate toys into the bedroom?
I do, I mean, like, you know, as you mentioned, the vibrator was a game changer. Whenever I was, you know, first exploring myself, and, you know, first sex toy I ever went into. And you know, I was just like, Oh, my God.
I literally remember even having like this little like pocket-sized one I could, like, pack in my bag on an airplane. Like I was horny, like, you know what I mean?
Are you getting off on an airplane? I know.
She's getting excited, just talking about it, but that's how we should be. Yes, of course. Are you kidding me? Like, sometimes it's an anxiety thing, too.
Like a lot of girls, like when I'm nervous, like I would feel it very early on, like when I was like in school. Like, even as a girl, if, like, I felt nervous about something, I would be like, Oh, oh.
You're like, Oh, when did you start masturbating? When was the first time you masturbated? Oh my God.
When was? Oh, well, I think we all kind of like, start as little girls. Like when you rub up against things and it feels good. And you know, like, you know, I think that's also whenever it's like, you have to be like, it's okay.
Like, that's for, you know, have your private time, so you're not doing it in front of like company and like you. Just. You have to learn these things and sometimes we don't have good teachers.
And that makes us feel safe. So that came early on. So it was like, you know, some people, I think, have more sensitive areas and I just. I've always been engaged with understanding there's things happening down there.
Christina is masturbating on planes, she's getting off, she's having the best time of her life. What is your best skill in the bedroom?
Oh wow, oh my God, yeah.
Like, where do I begin?
I mean, hands down, I mean, it's got to be blowjobs. I mean, I'm a I love a blowjob, you know, I mean, I and I, you know, I know I enjoy it. Like, I had a lot of also like male friends who I was always like, and what do you do here? Like? I was? Literally, I grew up around them.
So it's like, I know every different part and the sensitive areas and I like, I literally, I do enjoy it. I hear some women don't like it, but I don't know, man, it's a turn on, you know?
It is because, and I love that you're saying that, too, because, like, we're like, we can enjoy ourselves, get off. There's nothing better than if a guy actually knows how to eat you out, but there's something so hot about pleasuring your partner.
Because that gets me off. I don't want like him to not be enjoying it because I know I'm going to be enjoying myself. Do you have any little tips? Is there any you're like, I know the areas.
Like, what areas, Christina?
Well, again, sexuality is a very, you know, specific thing, so like, what one guy might like, another one doesn't, you know? Like there are some guys that don't like their balls being touched or tampered with, there are some guys that like brutal things happening to them. And you know, yeah, there's a lot of different levels, you know?
That's why it's important to, like, be with a partner where you can really just explore. And there's still a lot more things that I have not explored yet that are on my to-do list. And you know, I think, you know, it's hard when you also have kids, you're trying to keep it. PG You know, sometimes it's been like, Oh, okay.
And you're here, okay?
Like, amazing.
So it's a lot of things, but it's something you have to make time for. But yeah, I love that, and I also like, I mean, I think there's something to be said after you put in the hard work. I think swallowing is really, you know, a good thing and it's got a lot of protein, I have to say.
Christina.
I'm a promoter of The Swallow. Okay, like, I didn't put in that hard work for nothing. You know, we went in there, I got tugged and pulled, and like, you know, there's things happening, you know, that may be gagged, I don't know.
But, you know, I mean, hey, whatever your pleasure points are. But it should be fun, you know, as long as you feel good and safe with your partner. Whatever your bag is.
I fucking love you, I love you so much, that was fucking amazing, okay? Top three sex positions.
Oh, I think, Oh, you're fun, I don't think you know like you're actually safe to talk to. It's not creepy.
Yeah, like a male journalist like Christina.
Top three.
I mean, yeah.
Like, I don't have sex anymore.
Okay, this is definitely a new dawn, new day, safe about it. It depends on the mood. Definitely. I mean, I love a lot of positions.
Sometimes it's nice, like early in the morning, like from your side, from behind. And it's like there's like holding involved and like, you know, spooning involved. I like, I love to cuddle, I love to feel like safe and protected, but then it's like, I get too hot.
And then I'm like, Okay, leave me alone. I just wanted to feel it for a second, I'm good, but.
The morning from the side is also so nice because it's like we're half doing it. We're not, but it's like, kind of a nice wake up. You can get your vibrator in there.
And then your ass starts being like, Oh, oh, and then you're pulling. I mean, I like it, the chair is my.
Because then halfway through you're like doing it from the side, and then you like, kind of flip on your stomach and then it's from behind. The whole thing is nice, it's so good.
I mean, you know, you don't know where it's going to go. Sky's the limit, but there's that, yeah, like some good like doggies.
Sometimes I get in the shower. There's, you know, I've been, you know, there's been some good times, you know, like there's like the studio soundboard. Been, you know, been bent over there a couple of times. It's it's fun, you know, use your imagination, you know, Christina, I love that.
Playing can be fun. We've definitely hid some things under the blanket when the seats are big enough to, like, you know, we've been, you know, I. I can't believe we didn't get caught like so many times, in so many situations, like, Thank the Lord.
But I have always thought about that. But I feel like I'm too much of like a pussy that I was like, fuck. I don't know if I'm going to be able to pull that off. Yeah, are you talking about a private plane, though?
No, I'm not actually on international flights. You know, they turn the light off, like the chairs are, like, I don't know where you're sitting, but you know, there's always like, room for, like, be get creative, and, you know, blankets. It's like, it's like the position we just talked about.
The little Spoon. It's like, Oh, I feel safe with my partner here, like, we're just sleeping together.
The flight attendant is like, Ma'am.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, you got to wait till everyone's like, going to sleep, you know what I mean? So yeah, you got to, you know, setting the mood.
Everyone's like, note to self, try to find Christina Aguilera on a flight at some point in life and sit next to her.
Oh my god, that's iconic. Follow these instructions.
I love how open you are just about all this. Because again, I think something I've tried to do in my show and I love that you are doing is talking about this. It should not be shameful, we should not be embarrassed. Like we're celebrating the fact that we've been repressed for so many fucking years. To even enjoy ourselves, to even acknowledge, like, the lower half of our body and what's going on down there?
And I think it's important for women like us to sit here and casually talk about something, because I know how many women are at home. Being like, if Christina Aguilera can talk and she's casually coming out, being like, this is this like? It just is. It's an exciting new era I feel like for women. And it's like, we get to own our shit and be like, Fuck you if you want to call us a slut or a whore or whatever. We don't care because we're not. We're just enjoying ourselves and doing what we should be doing, which is celebrating our bodies and doing the same thing that men have done forever.
It's true.
It's really, really true, I think, because of generations of like, not knowing how to talk about it, being shamed for it, it being like, you know, something that's very, you know, celebrated from a male's point of view and objectified that we don't know where we stand with it. But now, more than ever, I feel like this generation is like having none of it. And we want to talk about it, we want to engage.
We want to be educated about it, we want to know what's good for it, and we should. Now's the time for that. And making sure, you know, that's why it's like music and lyrics.
You know, I had a song called Sex for Breakfast on my, you know, one of my albums. We've never been shy about things, but this is literally, you know, just the next progression for me. And in passing something down to my daughter that she can enjoy and understand like this is nothing to be ashamed of. This is healthy, natural, put good things on it, you know, vitamins, vitamins for there.
Vitamins for there. Okay, talk to me about playground a little bit, because why did you decide to be a part of this?
Well, I think the authenticity behind what it means to me, being always in the forefront, either defending, you know, or celebrating, or opening conversations. And doors for women to be able to feel safe enough to talk about their sexuality and what that means for them. Because, again, everybody is so different and there's no shame in the game. I just want to, really, just now, at this point in my life. Being a mother who has a daughter who's developing her own relationship with her body. And asking me, You know, when she sees, you know, that time of the month for me, like, What's a tampon? what does it do? You know, how am I going to approach these conversations?
And in making her, make sure that she feels she's taking care of herself so that she can also engage with a future healthy relationship. That's sex. positive sex is very important. I love the product playground.
It's all safe, it's all natural, and it just, you know, feels good, you know, we've explored with this, you know, safe for you.
And it's so pretty, it fits in like the palm of your hand. I love it, it's cute, you can put it on your nightstand.
It's like your bedside best friend is what I like to call her. And this is a product that's literally good for you and good for your vagina. And like, why aren't we paying more attention to that for ourselves?
And I love that you're saying, like, why can't we just walk into stores and be like, I'm going to buy this for my vagina? I'm going to buy this for my armpits? Like, it should feel like a whole wellness check, that I don't think.
Also, women feel like Lube specifically has had such a negative connotation. Because, Oh, you're so dry. And then a man is like, Oh, are you not turned on? And it's like, No, you idiot, that has actually nothing to do with you, nothing.
Like, what a concept. It has nothing to do with you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I feel like there's still this shame around. Like pulling out lube, and all I can ever say is like, if you aren't using lube, you're not having the best sex you could be having. Point blank.
Point blank.
Sex is 10 times better with lube, that's a fact, a thousand percent.
And it's like we wouldn't think of like doing things to our face like we moisturize, there's women that do. We do 10-step beauty routines and things we wouldn't think of. Like going through a drugstore and not hitting that section, not doing something moisturizing for our hair. Like this is the epicenter of power.
Like, we need to be nurturing and taking care of and celebrating this very important part. It literally, yeah, it's the star of the show. So we literally need to be giving, you know, nurture, tender love and care to it. And also, it should be explored and what better to help do this than you know, sometimes it's a little, you know.
Get a little something, something down there.
Feels good, yeah.
Last question Ooh, last last overall.
Ready?
No, wait. In a 2018 Billboard interview, you told the journalist to write great things about you. Do you have any great things about yourself that you want to share with the world that you feel like? Maybe people don't know about you or misunderstand about you that you're like, you know what? Listen to this.
Yeah, I grew up at a time again where there was like a lot of negativity that was, you know, just always trying to be, you know, poked, you know. And I'm also, you know, you know, I have no time for, like negativity. And it's like, I've been in the business long enough to know, like, you know, I just want none of it anymore to be a part of. Like the headline.
And it's like something that, you know, as a grown woman, you can have more control over. But you know, I don't like getting poked under the table because then the claws come.
Out.
You know, we're in an elevated time in all of our lives, where we are more open and talking to each other. And I'm just, I want peaceful energy, peaceful vibes, like I don't need to be talking about things that happened, you know, decades ago, like, let's grow up, let's embrace.
Like, now, more than ever, is the time for that. And so I think, yeah, just, you know, don't poke the bear anymore, like, don't poke, don't poke, don't poke. Me under the table. Because I'm still not going to be, you know, I'm still not going to be. I'm not gonna be baited anymore. You know, like a long time, you know, it happened for a long time, too.
This happened even, you know, after I had my babies. It's like a lot of people because they're, you know, they need some attention too. They're like, I'll get poked under the table and be like, it's one of those passive, what do you call those people that are just passive aggressive? They'll poke under the table when no one's looking and then be like, I don't know why she's, so I don't know.
She's crazy.
You know what I mean, right? And you're like, just leave me alone.
Manipulative, like, because, like, yeah, don't poke me too much, like, let's not get it twisted though. I'm sensitive and all that, but I'm a tough cookie. At the end of the day, I truly don't give a fuck.
You know what I mean, like, I just really don't, and I, you know, this is why. Like, I just don't have time for the petty bullshit. Or, you know, just, you know, sometimes, you know, the celebrity status stuff, it's just like I.
Just I want to live a real life and a loving life, you know right? I just I want good things around my energy. Space is so important to preserve that and and for my children, you know?
No, I appreciate you explaining that, cause it's also like, I get what you're saying. It's like, I'm trying to be over here, living my life. Stop trying to have me come back into the bullshit that I was in for so long, decades.
Decades.
Grown women shit now, truly, truly.
It's involved.
Examples.
Christina, I honestly cannot thank you enough for coming on. I know you don't do this often. I appreciate it. And like, getting to know you truly, I respected you before, but like, naturally, when you get to know someone, the respect just grows.
And you're such a strong, inspirational human being, and I just I. I'm so happy I got to sit with you. thank you so much.
I love you, thank you.
I love you too.
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