Gwyneth Paltrow: The Ultimate Dating Roster [VIDEO]
2023-05-03 00:53:40
The most-listened to podcast by women. Alex Cooper’s Call Her Daddy has been creating conversation since 2018. Cooper cuts through the BS with topics and guests - asking the burning questions you want the answers to. There will be laughter, there will be tears. There will be everything in between. New episodes drop on Wednesday and Sunday. Want more? Join the Daddy Gang @callherdaddy
Gwyneth Paltrow Welcome to call her daddy.
Thank you very much.
I am so happy you're here. How is it feeling? How are the vibes?
The vibes are a triple plus. I mean, it's gorgeous, the marble table, the colors, it's very soothing.
Thank you because I know you're very into like home design yourself. How would you describe your style?
I think I always like a traditional frame, so, you know, like walls, fixtures, floors. I like it to feel like there's some history and some provenance with it. I think I always gravitate towards a house where, like the bones, are more traditional.
That's like, I always want cozy vibes. I actually designed this. The pink color in this room is the exact color that I have in my closet. And so I wanted it to feel like we were kind of at my house. But I wanted to bring a little bit of me to the studio, which is very fun.
Actually, this wall color is very similar to our Goop office wall color.
Right, because you don't want like a hot pink, like I needed to get away from the hot pink. I was like, I feel like I'm a little hot topic-y, I'm a little in college, still, I have elevated a little bit. Ladies give me some credit, but you need to have it like, classy but still fun.
Let's talk about you, though.
Oh boy.
So I love how, so Apple is here, your daughter and you guys walk in and Apple is like, Roaster, go for it. And I was like, Gwen Paltrow's coming on the show, guys like, let's keep it classy. And then Apple was like, Oh, ask her everything. I'm like, Oh, thank you Apple for letting me go in.
So you're an entrepreneur, you're a mother, and you're an actress. You won an academy award at 26 years old. How did winning an Oscar at such a young age impact the way that you viewed and felt about your career?
Well, I guess I should start by saying, like, I was so driven, like I was working so hard and I didn't know exactly what I was working towards. I just wanted to be successful and to be well regarded. And I was kind of on this really fast track and it all kind of happened so quickly. Which is what I think you're alluding to. And then for somebody like me, who? I think I was working through a lot of the harder parts of my growing up, through achieving success. And once I won the Oscar, it put me into a little bit of an identity crisis. Because if you win the biggest prize, like, what are you supposed to do and where are you supposed to go?
I also, it was hard. Like the amount of attention that you receive on a night like that in the weeks following is so disorienting and, frankly, really unhealthy. I was like, This is crazy. I don't know if I can, I don't know what to do, I don't know which way is up, and so I think it was a lot.
And then I also not that I would give it back or anything like. It was an amazing experience, but it kind of called a lot of things into question for me. And then I think, because I hadn't done a lot of healing work yet, I was like, Well, now I need to. What am I going to do, where am I going to? how am I going to continue to achieve?
Do you mind sharing? like when you're referencing like you were working towards solving things in your past, do you mind sharing what you're talking about?
Yeah, sure, I mean, I think, you know, we all go through traumatic things in our childhood. And you know, I think our parents, especially in my parents generation, they had a very different orientation around parenting. It's like, you know, Apple and her brother are like, you know, I kind of revolve around them, and hopefully not to their detriment, but I think it was. I grew up in a generation where there wasn't that orientation. And I think, you know, we moved a lot to move with my mom when she was working, which also, of course, had great things.
But it was, you know, it could be very, it could feel destabilizing. And I think there were also, like, really high standards prescribed to me in my house. I don't even know if my parents were conscious they were doing it. But I always felt like I had to prove on some level that I was worth something, that I was lovable. And not only from my parents, but I think just from the culture that I was growing up in.
No, I get what you're saying.
And I think that's something I've been realizing in therapy is like, of course, we can look at how our parents fucked us up. Like, I don't think there's anyone on the planet that's like my parents were absolutely perfect like. But I do think generationally, it's also important to look at. Not to give them a free pass, but like, they don't have the tools that we now have of. Like, therapy wasn't even a conversation, mental health wasn't even a conversation. So even you saying like, I don't even think they were aware of the pressure they were putting on me.
It does make sense now, especially if you are in therapy or working on yourself like the past generations. To me, it's very apparent as, like, what they were lacking and how fortunate we are now to have conversations with. Like, you having with your children. When you talk about having this like, almost like crisis of like you win this Oscar, everyone's looking at you, you're this beautiful young woman. How do you think that impacted, like, your self worth at the time?
I felt a real pivot on that night because I felt like up until that moment, everybody was kind of rooting for me in a way. And then when I won, it was like, too much, you know, and and I could feel a real turn. And I remember I was working in England a lot at the time for some reason. I was doing all my movies in the UK. And I remember the British press being so horrible to me because I cried, you know, and they didn't necessarily know that, you know. My grandfather was dying of cancer. My dad, who was in the audience with me, was like, had just had all this crazy cancer treatment and he was really debilitated.
And it was just this totally overwhelming moment. And you know, I was 26, like I cried and people were so mean about it. And I just thought like, Wow, there's this big energy shift that's happening. And I think I'm going to have to learn to be less open hearted and much more protective of myself and filter people out better. It was like this big reckoning, in a way.
When I think back to the 90s, I think it's so funny that so many trends are coming back. Like Apple. Just walked in and just like, Mom, look, I'm wearing your shirt from the 90s. It's like everything is making comebacks, but the one thing that I feel like never went out of style, and I have to say it, is Brad Pitt.
I have to say it, I agree. How did you meet Brad Pitt? because you guys were like the hottest couple, okay?
How did you meet Brad?
I met Brad on the set of Seven and I think I was only 22 years old at the time. And I had seen him in Thelma and Louise. And like, whatever the other movies he had been in, so obviously everyone knew he was like the most gorgeous movie star in America.
And I got this little part in Seven and I was so excited to meet him and Morgan Freeman, who I had, like, grown up adoring as an actor.
And we sort of said hi on set and it was like, major, major love at first sight. It was crazy.
I just got chills, the fact that you get to be like. I had love at first sight with Brad Pitt and it was mutual. Okay, Gwyneth, no big fucking deal. So you eventually got engaged to Brad?
How did he propose and how did you initially feel about him proposing?
Well, we went out for we had been going out for like. I felt like a long time. And I was like, ready to get married? and I was like, ready, and we were in Argentina. He was filming a movie down there and I had gone down there for most of it, and I was like, making dinner and, you know, hanging out with him.
And one night, we were kind of on the balcony of this house we were renting in this little town in Argentina. And I wish I remembered exactly what he said, but he proposed. It was fantastic, I was thrilled.
Were you surprised or did you know this was coming? Did you guys talk about it?
We had talked about it, but I was surprised in the moment I remember that.
And how old were you at this point?
I must've been 24.
Oh my gosh.
So I know I've read that you ended the engagement with Brad because you were like, I was too young. I was not ready to get married. And I feel like when you are in love, I don't care what age, sometimes you can be so in it that you don't see big picture. How did you realize that you were not ready to get married?
Well, I had a lot of development left to do, looking back in hindsight, like, you know, in a lot of ways. I didn't really fully start to come into myself until I was like, 40 years old. And I had such a pleasing issue. Like, I didn't even really understand how to listen to my instincts and act from that place.
Like, for what was right for me, I was always trying to adjudicate, like, what's right for everybody else? You know? Being the sort of thermostat in the room, like, oh, you know, it's getting a little uncomfortable, like, let me cool it down, like it's getting cold, let me warm things up.
And always sort of outsourcing that and not really giving myself like the dignity of being close to myself, you know? And so when I look back, you know, I think I was really a kid. Like, really more so than a lot of 22 or 23 or 24 year olds I would meet. Now, you know, I really had not explored who I was, what was important to me, what my boundaries were, anything like that. And so I was totally heartbroken when we broke up. But it was just, you know, the right thing at that time.
But it was really, it was really hard.
When you say you broke up, like, is that how you explained it to him? Like, I'm too young, like, I can't do this.
No, it was like there were sort of a number of things that had happened. And also he was nine years older than I am, I guess he's still nine years older than me. And so he was like far more. He knew what he wanted, he was like, ready to do it, and I was kind of all over the place.
And so it was really like one of those difficult things where I felt like, Oh, my God, I'm not, I'm. Not only am I not ready, but I'm not like, living up to the standards again, you know, it was like a familiar refrain that I felt about myself.
When you think back to that time period, like, what questions do you think people should be asking themselves? If they're wondering, like, Am I ready to get married? Because, like, I know, there's a lot of young women listening that it's like, Oh, maybe I am, like, how will I know? Like, Do you have any advice?
I think that as women, we know on such a deep level what is right for us. And so it's really just a matter of how many layers we've put on top of that. And I do think we're socialized as women in this country to not do that, like, we don't tune in and really listen to ourselves. And so I would say, the best thing is like to work on your friendship with yourself.
The closer you are to yourself, then the more decisions you will make from that place, and that will be the right decision.
Anytime I have a deep conversation with my friend, whether it was like she stayed in a relationship too long or I was in a toxic relationship. You always kind of know, you know, and like, I really feel like a woman's intuition is never wrong. When you're feeling something's off, a lot of the times, we're just not acting on ending something or doing something for ourselves. Because there's a layer, like you said, of something prohibiting us from making that decision. Whether it's like the societal issues of like, we're living in this patriarchal society, and you're like, I want to please the man. And it's been so ingrained. Like, whatever it is, usually, it's actually, you know, the truth. You just have to be in tuned with yourself. That takes a lot of time, though.
Yes, and one layer of complexity I would add is that, you know, when I look back, and I think this is pretty pervasive. Like, most of us are sort of replaying relationship, that dynamic out in our romantic life that we had with our most difficult parental relationship. Like Kerry Washington said to me the other day, there's only one letter difference between parent and partner.
Which I thought was, you know, a very succinct way of articulating it. Because, you know, that's something that I did, for sure, in my romantic relationships. And some people don't do that, and you know, they're attaching in really healthy ways. But you know, those are things to keep in the back of your mind, too. Am I trying to work something out with this person? That's really my own work, because a lot of times that means you shouldn't be with that person.
You should go do your work and then find somebody that's going to really uplift you.
Because most of the time when you're in a situation with someone that you're trying to play out. Like your issues with your dad or your issues with your mom, you're right. Then when you actually go do the work, you wouldn't go back to that partner. You're like, Wait, no, no, no, that actually doesn't work for me at all.
That's right.
I'm interested to also know about Brad, and then we're moving on. Actually, let's do the whole episode about Brad. Since you're in this Hollywood sphere. It's a pretty close knit group. How did you guys move on? I'm sure you saw each other at parties and had to socialize in moments.
Was it awkward for you? It's not awkward now, obviously, but how did you go about running into each other?
Yeah, right, they always say Hollywood is like high school with money. It's kind of true, which is probably why I didn't live here for so long.
I remember seeing him, This is so crazy because I was heartbroken and so upset. Then I remember the first time I saw him. I was presenting at the Academy Awards the year after I won. I walked out and I was so cognizant of him being there.
I was like, Oh my god, this is so scary and so awkward.
Because he's probably in almost front row.
Yeah, he was right there and we hadn't talked in a couple years.
You're like, I would be like, I'm basically giving a speech to my ex.
I think I even fumbled my words. I was like, Yeah.
I hope that's on YouTube, so I can go watch that. After this, all of a sudden it's going to spike up to 10 million views.
It was the year after I won, it was crazy. I know he's a great guy, he's wonderful.
I really like him a lot.
Yeah, casual, okay. Another relationship you had was with Ben Affleck, which is like, I'm sitting here, being like, you have the most stacked roster of any person that has ever come on. Call her.
Daddy Gwyneth.
I'm not kidding, I'm like, no one has sat in a chair and I'm like, Brad Pitt, Ben Affleck, tell us your tips. My actual question was this, Do you think that all of your exes have bought your vagina candle?
They want to really relive the good times.
That's what it's there for.
Can you imagine someone's going into Brad Pitt's house and like, Is that Gwyneth's vagina candle? what the fuck? Okay, we're going to play a game.
Okay.
Brad or Ben? It'll be fun.
Okay.
Brad.
No.
I didn't even ask a question. Oh, I thought that was the question, Brad or Ben? Okay, that's so good.
Now I get it.
Okay, that's good, okay now. Overall, it's brad now.
Who had better style?
Oh my gosh, I'm going back back in time now, trying to assess wardrobes, um.
Probably Brad, okay.
Who was more romantic?
Um Brad.
I'm like, Brad, Brad, who was more likely to make you laugh?
Ben.
Who were you more likely to get into an argument with?
Ben.
Who was more high maintenance?
Gosh, that's a really good question.
I'm not sure I would characterize either of them as high maintenance. They were both like, pretty, Oh yeah.
Okay, who cared more about their appearance?
Oh.
I'm not sure I feel like they're. Neither of them were very vain like that. Like, I'm not attracted to guys who are like looking in the mirror the whole time.
Yeah, you need a little scruff.
A little like, although Ben did have, like a mirror face that he would throw at the mirror.
You have to do it for us.
I can't really remember, but it was sort of like, you know, like.
He had a funny mirror face, I think he was joking, though, okay?
Okay, who was a better kisser?
Oh my God, let me think, Gosh, I have to remember so far back, they were both good kissers.
Okay, who was better in bed?
That's really hard.
That is really hard because, like Brad, was like the sort of major chemistry, love of your life, kind of like at the time, you know?
And then, like, Ben was like, technically excellent.
Holy fuck.
I can't believe my daughter's listening to this. Technically excellent, yeah.
Holy fuck, God bless J.Lo and everything she's getting over there. Oh my God, that's amazing, okay?
Last question Okay, this is really gonna cause some issues.
Am I blushing?
I am.
Oh my gosh.
Who is the better actor?
Oh, wow.
Hmm.
I mean.
They're both so talented, I feel like, and Ben is a great writer and director. But I guess I would probably have to say acting alone. Brad like, if you think of all the really different roles he's done, I mean, Ben is great, too. They're both great, they're both great.
I mean, you've got great exes, like you can't really go wrong, you know what I mean?
And those are just the ones you know about.
Oh, well, we're gonna get to that. You can't tease me here, Gwyneth, and not expect. I was going to ask. You know, we know a lot of your exes. But would you be willing to maybe drop a name of someone you've, like, even had a makeout with? That's a-list that, like, the world doesn't know about?
I don't think I could say the name. Can you give it a hint, Mimms?
What about a little Leo action?
No, never made out with Leo, never. He tried back in the day, but he was already like, you know, he was very-.
Doing his thing.
Loose with the goods, like from when he was 19.
What about Johnny Depp?
Never made out with him, We did a movie together, but we did not make out.
Bradley Cooper.
No, I don't even know Bradley Cooper. I mean, I've met him, but I've never like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know.
Okay, well, we're gonna have to sidebar and you're gonna have to tell me one name that I can, like, hold close to the chest.
I'll tell you after.
Okay, you also dated and married Chris Martin, one of the biggest musicians in the world.
Yep.
Shout out Coldplay, love you. We are gonna do a little one last game.
Okay.
Fuck, marry, kill.
Brad Pitt, Ben Affleck and Chris Martin.
Wow.
Well, obviously, I'd marry Chris Martin because he gave me my two children who are the loves of my life, so I would do that all again. Aww.
Hmm.
Wow, but kill is so that's such a hardcore-.
It's not actually, it's like, put to the wayside.
Okay, I can-.
Fuck one more time, I think we know your answer.
I think Brad.
Brad Yeah, yeah.
And then Ben, Yeah.
God bless Ben.
God bless him.
God bless him and his Dunkin donuts. Okay, what initially attracted you to Chris?
So Chris and I met. It's a funny story. I was a huge Coldplay fan when his first album, Parachutes, came out, and I loved it. I was doing a movie in London again, as usual, and I was kind of had the TV on in the background and he was playing. They were playing at Glastonbury and when I heard the music and I like, you know, had this very powerful reaction to it. I was like, this is incredible and I watched their whole thing and I was like, this band is going to be huge.
And no one had really heard of them in America at the time. I remember coming home and like, telling everyone about this great band and they said, You know, they're going to be playing this teeny show. I think it was maybe at the Bowery ballroom or something. So I went with Mary, my best friend from kindergarten that I was telling you about, and because I was there, I someone wrote in the newspaper that we were dating.
We had never met and it was. I was like, What? Like, you know, he's like five years younger than me, and I was like, Please, I'm not like, we're not dating. I just went to this thing.
And we thought, And then? But they kept writing it all summer, all summer, all summer. And then that fall, my dad died, unfortunately, in sort of a surprising way.
And my brother and I were listening to that Parachutes record, I mean, not parachutes. Rush of blood to the head all the time, all the time. And I remember I had called Mary and I said, like, I need you to get, I need you to come to London. Like, I can't breathe without my dad. I don't know what you know to do.
And so she came over and then someone reminded me we had had tickets to go see Coldplay that night. But from, you know, months before my dad died. And I was like, I can't go. And she was like, Gwynny, like, Please, we can't. Like, we have to get you out of the house and get some air, even if it's just for. And it was really hard for her, too, because my dad was like her dad. And she's like, you've got to stop smoking cigarettes, we've got to get out of here. And I was like, Okay.
And so we went, and because they had been writing that we were boyfriend and girlfriend, you know, his assistant Vicky, who we still love to this day. She was like, she came and said like, Oh, hi, this is so crazy, you want to go meet your boyfriend, you know, after the show? So we went backstage and we met and he was just so sweet. And like, I met him when he was like 25 and I had just turned 30, and he was like Tigger, the tiger, you know, bouncing around.
And I really didn't even think we would go out, but I don't know. He called me and asked me to come to Ireland to see him and go to a show, and I was so depressed. So my and I remember my other friend, Henrietta at this time, saying, You know, she was like, I said, This is crazy.
This kid from Coldplay asked me to go, you know, see his concert. And I'm like, This is nuts, like, I'm not going, and she's like, Yeah, you've got to go. This is the first time you've smiled since your dad died.
Oh my god.
So I went.
How was your relationship with Chris different from all of your previous relationships?
Well, you know, there was just something I don't know. I think there are certain things that kind of have felt preordained in my life and like my children feel like to me, like the whole reason I'm on this earth. And so when I met him, there was a very deep thing there. And I couldn't quite put my finger on it because it felt very different than my other relationships.
And it's not so much that the relationship itself turned out to be, like, healthier than my other relationships. It's just that I think I had this deep calling. On some level. I knew he was going to be the father of my kids, maybe or something. It was very, it was a very strong feeling, yeah.
I'm interested to know, too. Like, you know, you mentioned that right before, you kind of met Chris, like a few weeks prior, your dad had passed.
Yeah, three weeks before.
How did that impact? Do you think like the early days of your relationship?
I mean, I was broken, I was. My father was, you know, like, I just adored him, and he was like, you know, my teacher, my rabbi. He was like the comedian, he was like, so unconditionally loving, and he was the center of all of our. My whole family, kind of centered on him.
So when he died, you know, I was completely like, decimated, and so I was very raw and very open, you know, didn't totally have my like. I couldn't see straight like I was in full, full grief. I don't, I don't know how Chris, kind of like, dealt with me through that time.
Yeah, because I'm interested, like, I think loss is there's no way to describe. Like how you're going to grieve and thinking about, like meeting Chris, falling in love, while also like, deeply grieving. Yeah, those are like very opposite emotional headspaces to be in, yes.
And when you look back, do you think that affected your perception of like, of the relationship at all?
Probably I don't see how it couldn't have, yeah, like I was so altered and so destroyed.
I can't imagine it, didn't, you know? And I can't imagine that. I didn't project like Hope and Safety and future, you know, on to him, because I was in such a bad state.
Yeah, so we talked about how you were engaged at one point to shout out Brad, and then you eventually, who doesn't love Brad?
You love Brad, we all love Brad.
I love how it's like, Brad or Ben, this is about to be a game. You're like, Brad. Wait, I didn't put the name yet.
We all love Brad. Shout out Brad, you know, we love you. So you got engaged and you said you weren't ready to be married, right?
You marry, Chris. How did you know when it was time to end a marriage and to move on with your life?
Well, it was interesting, because again, like being so driven by this, like feeling of the impending children. Like, I got pregnant really quickly and had our kids, like in pretty quick succession. And so then you're sort of thrown into, like, I was like in grief. And then I had apple and then I had moses, and then. I think you just try to make it work, especially for me, you know, I don't like barely. I think we have one, you know, barely any divorce in our family.
All of my best friends from, you know, elementary school, high school, they're all married to, like their college sweetheart, like no one. I wasn't around to like. I just felt like it was such a failure and it. And even contemplating us not being together and I. I was so worried about it, for the kids and for what it said about me, and it was so hard. And then, you know, I, I really wanted something very different to what he wanted.
And and I felt very kind of lonely in the marriage in a lot of ways. And and I just finally got to the point where I thought, like, you know, I need to, I need to listen to myself. And so, you know, it wasn't until right after I, you know, it was kind of around. It was sort of like around 38 that I started to sense that the marriage wasn't going to last. And then I tried really hard for another couple of years. But, you know, I say this all the time because it's true.
You get this software upgrade when you turn 40, like you just get an upgrade. Like you wake up and your software is fucking upgraded. And you're like, Wow, this is bizarre. Like I don't care what anybody thinks of me, like, I like myself.
Like, you click into this thing and that happens again when you're 50, by the way, and it's so, it's so, it feels like you feel whole. And I just realized, like, I, I need to not be in this, I need, I need something else.
And it's okay if I'm alone, and it's okay if I disappoint people, and it's okay if I never find anyone again. All the things that you're so worried about, you know, when you're contemplating divorce. And I, I chose myself.
I love that and thank you for sharing because I don't even like. No matter where you're at in your life. I do feel like it kind of goes back to what you said of. Like, we know when we're not happy, when we're not feeling it, when it's not right anymore, it doesn't mean it wasn't right, right?
But, like, we keep growing and we keep evolving as individuals. And naturally, sometimes that means you're going to outgrow a partner, or you're going to outgrow something that you initially were attracted to. And I think that's okay, and I think, especially as women, it's like a very negative feeling and shameful feeling you have on yourself if it's you the one that's having those feelings. Because I feel like we always learned like men will leave and men will do this.
But if it's you like, it has been a pretty like new concept that like, Oh my God, you can leave a marriage, you can stand up for yourself, you can have a voice. So I appreciate you sharing that because it is in some way inspirational to just know, like, you have these incredible children. You had a healthy marriage at one point.
And then it's like, and then it's time to move on, and that's okay.
It is okay, it is okay, and it's like, not what you want, and it's not when you get married. It's not what you hope for, but it's okay if it's not the right thing anymore, you know?
And for me, it really then became about, Is it possible to stay a family with this person that I really love? And I wanted to minimize the impact on our children, which of course, they're impacted, and divorce is terrible. And I know it was really hard on them and but I wanted it to be as least, you know. Like, I wanted to try to figure out a way that Chris and I could stay like real family, which we have.
The last question I have on that is like, has it gotten easier to co-parent? Like in the beginning? I can imagine it's like any family feels it like it's a little rockier, like trying to get your footing. And then eventually does it get to a place where, like it does, feel more cohesive?
If you work on it like, you really have to work at it, and I think you have to choose every day to remember the good in the person. Why you love them, you know, hold them with a lot of love and respect, and cultivate that. Especially on days that you don't feel that because you feel, you know, wronged or angry, or whatever it is, you know. And so it became a practice for me to remember all the ways in which, you know, Chris was a blessing in my life. And, you know. And like, there are just things about him that are so fantastic, and he's so funny, and he's so talented, and he's goofy and we all laugh a lot.
And so I tried to really focus on those things and then also use the opportunity to focus on my side of the street. And what I had not done well, and what I could learn. And you know, the ways in which I hurt him and the ways, you know, so it was a big.
I think, you know, it's probably best said, like, I really milked the opportunity, I didn't, you know, it's like a divorce. It sounds weird to say it's an opportunity. But I really wanted to learn as much as possible, and I wanted to grow as much as I possibly could out of it.
Yeah, I kind of feel like a theme today is just like knowing what's best for yourself.
Yeah.
And you played a vital role in starting the Me Too movement, and you were very open about your experience. How did you decide to come forward and talk about everything?
It was scary because, you know, I had grown up watching the women who had spoken out be reviled, rejected, you know, pilloried in the town square.
And I had never seen a model where a woman could speak out and there would be repercussions that weren't were on the man and not on the woman. And so this was a story that, you know, everybody, it was like this, the worst kept secret.
Not that Harvey Weinstein was raping people, but you know that he was sort of crossing boundaries and trying stuff on. And we all kind of knew that was happening. And, like, my story had happened to 10 of my friends, you know?
But when I had learned the full extent of what he had done through my cooperation with the New York Times. And talking to Jodi and Megan, who are two incredible women, incredible investigative journalists. I just thought, you know, this has got to stop. And I felt like if maybe there was a chance, it could impact the workplace for my daughter and her friends. Like, I felt really obligated to say something.
I appreciate also just how open you are about your experiences and kind of speaking about, you know, raising children now, in this new era. As like women that can have a voice like, how do you talk to, I guess, both of your kids about, like dating and sex and relationships?
I mean, I think you have to tread lightly and let them come to you. I remember my kids both went to this fantastic elementary school here in Los Angeles once we moved from London, and they taught them sex ed in sixth grade. Which, yeah, like, Okay, I just. But I really was not prepared with the information that they came home with.
What did they say?
I will never forget Apple and her best friend Emily, sitting at our kitchen banquette in shock like color drained from their face.
They taught them everything, everything, anything you're thinking, they taught, like the 11, 12 year olds told them everything, what I swear.
And what are they saying to you? Like, mom, we're like, Do people do this?
You're like, you know what, one day you'll hear a little bit more of this on call her daddy, Apple.
Exactly.
It will be in a more appropriate.
Well, that's what I was going to say. Then you took over, so I didn't have to tell her anything.
Holy shit, so I'm in Hawaii and I'm walking to the elevator with my boyfriend. We're staying at a resort and I see this girl sprinting down the hallway with a bag and I'm like, What is going on? I think she's beelining it to me.
It is a fan of mine and she hands me a goop bag, and there was, there's like a goop store in this Hawaii resort.
Yes, the Manalani.
Shout out So I'm like, Oh, thank you. She's like, I love you, like you've taught me so much, like I want you to enjoy your vacation and winks at me.
So I go upstairs and I open it and it's a beautiful vibrator. And I was like, Oh my god, this is incredible. And then immediately I'm like, thanks to Gwyneth. Like, because I hadn't brought a vibrator on this trip. And it was used, and it was used again, it was great.
It was a great time.
It was a great time. I thought you were going to say, I thought you just said, like, meaning you opened the box and it was used, and I just died.
And this vibrator was fully used.
Fuck you.
No, no, I used it on my trip. It was phenomenal. And so I'm curious to know, cause I I'm a big advocate for toys and vibrators, especially for women. We have, like, obviously, a harder time getting off.
When is the first time you used a vibrator?
Wow, um, probably when Sex in the City came out, and, you know, Samantha was talking about, like everyone. I remember, like, you would go to a bridal shower and like, they're. All of a sudden there were vibrators, like as party favors, and it's almost like they stopped being party.
Favors. And they need to be again, because I remember in college being like, I think I need one. This is disgusting. Well, it's not. I started to use the back of my electric toothbrush because I didn't know where to get a vibrator at the time.
GWYNETH Yeah, thanks to Goop. Now we know where to go. But at the time, it was like, I'll get a new toothbrush in the morning.
Like this is desperate timescales for desperate measures. And there I was with a good old back of the toothbrush, I didn't use it in the morning. Everyone don't come for me. Why do you think women are so intimidated, though, by vibrators?
Well, you know, this is a very this. This could be like a very long discussion. I mean, there's such, um, systemic shame for women historically around pleasure, and we are, to your point, we do live in a patriarchal society. Um, the paradigms aren't there for female pleasure. Um, and so we've been taught to be, like, ashamed of it, not ask for things, not ask, not say like this feels good or this doesn't feel good.
And this is why at Goop we have really kind of indexed into this area because I really feel like it holds us back so much. It's this one area where, and look, I like, I'm still not comfortable talking about like this is inculcated in for decades. Like it's. And I'm so happy when I see it changing in your generation. And Apples like. And this sort of freedom around the idea that women deserve pleasure, it makes me so happy to see that. But it has not always been that way.
You're so right. The shame comes from obviously, as women, it's never been celebrated to, like, pleasure yourself. You hear about, like men or boys when you're younger. It's like, Oh, he's just touching himself, Oh girl, it's like, stop doing that.
Like, it's wrong, just do it secretly. So now I love, though. I agree that, like, it can be cute and fun and clean and not scary and veiny and too large. That you're like, that's bigger than my thigh.
So no, I really appreciate that you have what you've done. Because now I have my little baby purple little like bullet vibrator in it. I use it all the time. I don't know if that freaks you out, but.
Not at all, not in the slightest.
Okay, Gwyneth, what is the craziest place that you've had sex?
I mean, I don't know. I've been famous for so long that, like, you know well, I think one time back in the day, I did it in an airplane bathroom on an overnight flight to Paris.
Would you, would you drop the name of who it was with?
It wasn't anyone famous. Okay, isn't that terrible? It's amazing.
No, I'm like, I want the tea. I'm like, Oh, that won't make headlines. No, I'm just kidding. No, that's great, okay?
So you were, when you were famous, you were having sex with normal men. Yeah, you're a woman of the people.
I was, Yeah, of course.
How would you meet normal guys, though, and like, not be freaked out?
Well, well, that's a good point. I mean, you know, do you know, like, I missed the whole dating app thing and all of that? like, I totally missed that.
Like, one normal guy I dated when I was famous was, you know, friends with my friends growing up in New York. Like that kind of thing there were. I think I dated like one or two.
You're going to tell us who that other a-lister is at some point by the end of this interview. Okay, you started a wellness brand, but you did this before, it was cool to, like, start a wellness brand. How did you come up with the concept of goop?
Well, I think kind of circling back to where we started. By the time I had Apple, I felt like I really needed a break from acting. I had worked like nonstop for years and years and years, running, running, running.
And uh, I had her, and um, and I had like one of these moments in life, and um, you know, we had like a really crazy birth. It was very dramatic and I kind of at some point passed out after having a seizure anyway. I woke up and I opened my eyes and these like giant blue eyes were looking right at me.
We were like this, and I was like, This is this is it, this is it, and Drew Barrymore actually said this to me. The vast where. She said When she looked into her daughter Olive's eyes, Um, she had the same thing. And then she said to Olive later, I was born the day you were born.
It always makes me cry, it's true, but that's how I felt. And like, I didn't I. I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do, I don't want to leave this baby.
I don't want to go back to work and luckily I was in a position where I could take some time off with so many women. In this country. Cannot do, and in Scandinavia they do it in places like that, but we are not good at that. So I was very fortunate. And the longer I didn't work, the more I started to call into question, like, wait, was I doing that?
Because I really loved it, was it like? And I gave myself the space to kind of contemplate if I wanted to go back or not. Ended up not doing a movie for like, three years. I had my son. Um, and then I went back a little bit to do like smaller parts and Iron Man and stuff like that. Um, but actually never starred in a movie again since I was pregnant with Apple, like we were in my last starring role together.
And then I did something which I think I would really encourage women to do, which is at some point stop and say, like, am I where? Am I? Where I'm supposed to be? Am I doing what I love? Am I spending my life feeling fulfilled?
And am I brave enough to give myself permission to do something different if I want to? And I knew that if I started a company, I would take a lot of shit for it and people would be like, What is she doing? There was no model for this, except for the great Jane Fonda, who had, you know, done her fitness business but also took a ton of shit for that. At the time, they called into question, like her seriousness as an actress. Like everybody likes us in one little box, you know?
But I was really interested in this other space, which was really essentially like connecting people to great things that would make their lives better. And I was, I had always been that person for my friends, like, what temperature do I roast a chicken at? Like, where can I get a bikini wax?
In Paris, like, you know, and I thought, God, you know. I love answering these questions so much. I love doing the research, I love figuring it out, like, maybe I could do this as a job.
And so it percolated for a long, long, long, long time. And I got a lot of advice from different people. And that's when I thought, Okay, I'll just start it as a newsletter and then we'll see how it goes. And it was unmonetized, it was just, you know, I just was sending content out. And it stayed like that for probably five years. Until I had the guts to start to think around monetization and what I would do.
It's amazing to hear you also explain it because I agree with you. Like, when you immediately said, Jane Fonda as you were talking, I was thinking about Jane Fonda. Because I'm like, it's so crazy that as you're trying to put something together that had never been done, your first reaction, even though, like, you knew you wanted to do it. We immediately think, like, Oh my god, everyone's going to shit on me, like they want me to just be an actress. Like, just stay in your lane.
That's right.
And it's so detrimental because that's so not the only thing that you are talented with, and that also that you're interested in. And so I love the story because it shows full circle of you, putting into action an idea you had, and then obviously creating something so much bigger. That also is so helpful to so many women, including myself. Thank you.
What is one Goop product that you wish you had in your twenties that now you're suggesting to Apple and her friends like, you need this?
This is real because when I was in my twenties, I lay in the sun with baby oil on my face, I never use sunscreen. Believe me, I'm paying that price now. Thank you, I'll give you my surgeon's.
Please.
Actually, please.
So I wish that I had taken greater care of my skin earlier. And what's so great now is that we've come so far with product development. And because clean beauty is a huge thing for me. Like, obviously that's why one of the main reasons we started GoOp. I was appalled at the levels of toxicity in beauty products that are largely unregulated we put all over our skin.
They're transdermally absorbed, they mess with our endocrine systems. There's like real toxicity levels and a lot of stuff that we think is safe, and that just drives me crazy. So I saw a real white space, you know, to create these products.
And um, and anyway, like for the women out there now, like, Look, I would recommend, I mean, we have this new eye cream that's coming out right now. That's so incredible. And it's like packed full of vitamin C, and it's got caffeine and niacinamide, and it works so well. And it's very preventative as well, so I can use it for my crow's feet and my dark circles, and Apple can use it preventatively.
I love it, I need it.
We brought you one. Oh, thank you.
You recently also launched the Goopsex Instagram channel.
Yes.
What's a conversation that you're looking forward to having on that page?
Well, again, like, just to sort of traverse back over what we were saying. It's so important for women to have places that they can, you know, and resources. And like, that's why what you do is so fantastic in terms of destigmatization, creating a space where women can explore these questions and these feelings. And like the normalization. It's really beautiful and I'm so glad that you do what you do. And we really felt like, you know, there's more to explore here in terms of questions, people have products, et cetera.
So we thought we'd make a dedicated page, you know, I learned from the Goopsex page. Like, I'm like, Wow, what is this?
I love that. One of my last questions is, I was just thinking about this for a second, like, what do you think is a misconception about you?
Oh, I think there are probably a few.
I think like, maybe not as much anymore, but I think like there was a misconception like that. I, that me and Goop that we together were like, wacky. Or, you know, like, dealing in pseudoscience, which is such bullshit. And like, we're actually so rigorous around, like what we're talking about, and sometimes we talk about really cutting edge things. But we really label the content as that, so we're not saying this is fact.
We're saying like, this is an emerging theory or something. So I think that's a way to keep also the power of the brand down, right? So it's like, if you're threatening the status quo, like people used to throw that at us a lot.
What about personally?
I think I can maybe come off or look quite cold, maybe, or like unapproachable, I've heard. But I think I'm really opposite to that. Like I do think I'm so curious about people and I think I'm warm but.
When you walked into my house, I was like, Oh my gosh, hi, we like hugged, and I was like, I felt like a part of the family. When Apple walked in, I'm like, Oh, we're all going to hang like you. Yeah, I can dispel that rumor.
Now I have a gift for you.
Really.
Well, it's kind of a yeah, I'm going to give it.
It's Brad Pitt.
No, no, no, I saw a comment you made. Okay, wait, I saw a comment you made on the internet.
Okay.
And I wanted to gift you this.
What did I say?
Oh my God, I always you know me and my internet comments.
Oh, this is so good.
I hope you got one for Apple too. Oh my god.
Love it, I saw your comment on Hailey Bieber.
This is so good, I'm going to wear this loud and proud.
I truly love it. No, Gwenna, thank you so much for coming on. This was truly so fun. It wasn't. It wasn't too aggressive, right? not at all.
It was you had a good time. I'll check in with her and see what Apple has to say about it.
Apple We're going to walk in as like this. No, seriously, thank you for coming on. This was so fun.
Thank you for having me, thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you so much, that was really fun, that was so fun. I am dying, laughing.
You are comedy.
Bye.
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