Adam Driver Live at the Brooklyn Academy of Music

Fall is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, walking blues, climb the fence, books and pens. I can tell that we are going to be friends.

Last row, last row.

Come on, let's go, two of you, both of you, come on.

Let's go.

Bullshit, bullshit. Okay, you there, come on down.

You're on stage right now.

Veronica, Are you there? Hello? Can you hear me? Yes, I'm here, okay.

Oh my god.

Tell us what happened. I basically broke my.

Two toes. And then I had some complications and I literally just got released from the hospital today.

This is taking a turn.

Veronica wake up.

Wake up, Veronica, I'm trying. I'm trying. Okay, okay, Veronica, I'm going to let you go now. I hope you get better soon, all right?

Again, four seats right here.

What's happening, What's happening?

We heard you berating a sick girl backstage.

Is she really sick? Let's think about it. I mean, she broke some toes and then I guess there were complications. We don't know what that is.

I mean, it could be an infection.

Thanks Sona, you're really helping. But she sounds much better now, high as a kite.

Okay.

Sounds nice.

I don't know about you, but I told the crowd last night. I used to live in Williamsburg in another lifetime long time ago, like during the Civil war.

I'm not going anywhere.

Yeah.

I don't know what it is. I've been in my hotel room and then I came here, and then I went back to my hotel room, and then I came back here.

Wait, you've stayed in your hotel room the whole time you've been here.

The whole day, the whole day.

Why, I don't know.

I get to my room and I'm just like, there's a bed and then there's a TV. So I watched like I watched the office, I watched friends.

These are all reruns, they're all shows that are like 50 years old.

I watched, and I watched Deadpool 2 on like basic cable.

Is this because Sona and I are both from Southern California and.

One Woo Sona, you came to New York with me the first time. I'll never forget this. You've been working with me for just a couple of months and we came to New York together. And you flipped out and you said, I hate it here. And then I said, Why don't you just get in a cab and go back to your hotel room?

What the fuck are you talking about? why are you telling a New York crowd that I'm scared of their sitting?

Why are you doing that? But what would scare you about a seat that someone else sat on? That's just, I mean, come on.

They didn't just sit on it, they like, jizzed on it, Oh.

You and I have different concerns about New York, yes.

There's jizz everywhere.

No, there is not.

What are you walking around with a blue light? What are you doing? yes.

Everyone's bleeding everywhere.

They're all like spitting, okay?

I'd like to distance myself from this opinion. I don't have this problem with New York.

Right, and I don't know what you think people are doing in cabs, but and I think, yes, has that happened? Yeah, they're fucking no, they're not.

Yeah, no, they're not.

No, there's.

That's where you do.

I do the deed there, the clip-clop of horses. It's very erotic to me, even right now I'm getting aroused, Oh.

Would you do that carriage ride?

With someone else or were you by yourself?

I was by myself.

Okay, that makes sense.

And I'd be like, come on, you can do it, not gonna. that's what my penis says to me, not gonna, oh yeah.

People are clapping.

Not gonna.

Don't wanna.

Scared? Stay in the hotel room. Yeah, well, it's wasted on you. This city, this city's wonderful.

I know I get intimidated, I really do get intimidated, I get a little scared, and so I just stay in my hotel room.

Okay, I'm a loser. Well, I wouldn't say you're a loser. I'd say you're a very sad person.

Okay, no, okay, no, no, no, no, no.

I study here, I know for a fact that doesn't count.

There are people from Denmark here, I know that.

Oh, he's standing up.

Why? I love that? And so, he said, There's someone from Denmark here and this man shot up.

It's his eye hamlet, the dane.

I am Grydor. He's holding an exotic cheese. You're from Denmark and did you come here just for this and don't say no? I also live here. And I was wandering by and there was a bunch of empty seats in the front row.

Christopher.

Okay, I wish it was something kind of fun, but it's not. That's my middle name. I was hoping it was like Grydor and it had like umlauts on it.

Unfortunately not, no.

I have a very silly. I thought, Oh, you'd have wooden shoes? I didn't know it was, and now I'm just disappointed. Guess what? There's an empty seat right there and it's yours if you want it.

I definitely do, thank you.

Are you here with anyone else?

I'm here alone.

Right there, yeah.

Conan, Conan.

Give him this seat, come on, but I want to call you Grydor. Is that okay? You can call him?

For the next two minutes.

It's so, so nice to meet you. welcome, thank you. Oh yeah.

GRYDOR I can't call you Christopher. It just takes the whole fun. Look how self-assured this guy is.

I'm generally just going to call myself Grydor from now on.

I'm so, you're, you know? We can't let you have that seat the whole night, but you'll be there for another minute or two, then you're going back to that seat right there. Did you think this was going to happen when you flew here from Denmark?

I had no anticipation that this was ever going to happen, no.

Yeah.

This is guaranteed for anybody that comes from Denmark from here on out.

This will happen, this is our promise to Denmark.

I will go back to my country, tell my people that this is what happens when you go to Brooklyn.

I love that you are the spokesperson for your people. Like, you're going to get off the airport and everyone from Denmark is just going to be there and you're going to walk up to a microphone. It is true, if we go to Brooklyn, we can sit with Conan.

They will all cheer and wave the Danish flag around.

Yes, they will. Yeah, this is, this is, I love this, this is fantastic, yeah.

I love all three of you.

Well, just me.

I mean, honestly, you should come visit, you have loads of fans in Denmark.

I will, I will come to visit. What about us? Those flights are expensive.

I will gladly show you around if you come visit.

Really.

Yes, all right, I'll do it.

It's a deal.

My name is Adam Driver.

Wow, are we honored to have you? This is amazing, This is absolutely amazing.

Yeah, no, it's out of body. It's very nice, it's very nice.

Yeah.

Now I'm going to put everyone to sleep.

No, I am so thrilled that you could do the show. I've been a massive fan of yours for a long time. And, uh, this was absolutely. When I found out that you were going to come do this, it just blew me away and I know you're, you're a Brooklyn guy.

So yeah, yeah, yeah, just down the street.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, where's this going?

We're both leading men.

You're a following man.

No, what I meant was, I know that I've read things about you and you've said that you. You kind of felt like not comfortable in yourself. You know, being tall, do you know what I mean? I've read interviews with you and I've thought, Wait a minute, I know what that's like, only.

How to explain being tall?

Yeah.

Oh, totally, yeah, yeah, yeah, well. Besides tall, in my school, it's hard to find clothes.

You know, I, uh, I used to. I couldn't find pants cause my legs are famously long. And there was a whole period in, like the late 1970s, where my pants came to like, halfway down my shin. And I had that bowl haircut, uh, and I was just, uh, humiliated all the time this woman's wearing. Don't laugh at me when I was a child, I feel so bad for that kid.

No, you're describing it backstage, and what I see is bright, it's noticeable.

Thanks, pal.

I agree, that's terrible.

But did you, did you have? did you have the experience of, because you were tall, people assumed you were an athlete?

Yeah, well, especially in Indiana, if you're in Indiana, you have to play basketball.

And how did that work out? It was terrible.

Actually, I played in junior high, but I was on the A team and it was really bad. But then when they put me on the B team, I was really good. Cause I knew it didn't count. So then I turned into Jordan on the B team, but on the A team, it was just a mess.

I would have blamed the pants if I were you, I totally would have said these pants, they restrict me, otherwise I'd dunk.

So we were talking. I think also a symptom of being tall is if you were in any way neutral people, because you're tall and most people aren't. They think you're mad when actually you're. We were talking about this a little bit backstage. I'm like, No, I'm mad, I'm fine.

You get this a lot because, uh, well, you probably get it less than I do. Because people know you playing that you, you're, you're so good at playing such intense roles. I've always been, you know, smiley guy. And so when I'm neutral, like just walking around Brooklyn, just with a neutral expression, people are like, Hey Conan, come on, be happy. Yeah, why aren't you dancing around like a clown?

When I walk around Brooklyn and the people are like, that, that fits.

So you have a hard time blending in. I would think, Oh, yeah, yeah.

I've tried things, I've tried hats. I've tried, uh, hoodies on hats, uh, under hats, you know, almost blankets and people.

Still, I think when you put a blanket over you and you walk around, people are going to look.

So now I don't do anything, I just like, Oh, fuck it, this is me.

That's a good way to be, yeah.

Yeah, there's a friend of mine named Noah Peacock, who who had a house behind it. Like an event space called Celebrations Unlimited, it's, uh, it's on the corner of Laurel Street.

Wow, okay, we're doing an ad now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I. It's since I burned to the ground, I think. But and there was a field behind. Celebrations unlimited. And we would get together with our friends or people who were riding by on their bikes and we would fight them.

Wait, it sounds like that's a mugging. If it's someone's just if someone's just going by on their bike and they have not entered the fight club, that's just a random attack, yeah.

We'd take their loose cash, take their bike, and we'd fight each other.

Did you, um, and were there rules? did you guys have certain rules so you wouldn't get hurt?

Yeah, don't hitting in the balls, and I think that was pretty much it.

That's the only, that's the only rule.

But it was also, you know, it was the Mishawaka, Indiana. There wasn't a, you know, it's not a cultural hub, but it's a. So, there's not really much to do other than go to the video store, rent movies and beat the shit out of each other.

What movies did you watch? You were renting, like VHS movies? yeah.

Every I'm a Fight Club, uh, was one of them. But all, all of the movies that I, you know, that were a big influence on me. That, you know Jim Jarmusch movies, you know Scorsese, and you know every everything a mode of our movies.

One of the things that I find really admirable about you is you're you've had a lot of success, you're incredibly talented. But like a lot of people, it didn't come quickly, it didn't happen easily. You, you kept at it. You wanted to go and study acting, you knew at a fairly early age, that's something you wanted to do.

Yeah, I knew I was in high school and I did a play and then I, you know, I, I loved it. It was like it was Oklahoma. It was the first play that I did in high school and I was like, Yeah, uh, curly, oh yeah.

And I was hooked, but you killed it, I nailed it.

Yeah, and then I knew that Juilliard didn't check grades. uh, so I applied to Juilliard and everyone else seemed to check grades. And I got, and I got rejected. I didn't, I didn't get it.

But it's inspirational because you then you try to go out to L.A. I think, right?

Yeah, that's right. Then I put all my shit in my car. I had like, a like, a 1990, uh, Lincoln town car that, uh, I, it was a hand-me-down. I took it.

I must leave you now.

Yeah, yeah, and I drove all the way to, Uh, California on the way Flagstaff, Arizona. My car broke down. I spent all the money, most of the money I had fixing it. I got to L.A. UH, for like, a couple of days, ran out of money and turned around, drove right back.

Oh my god.

I had no other choice, I had no options, I had no friend there, I had no. Uh, I gave my money to some company that's supposed to, uh, help you find an apartment, which was a total fucking scam. And after a while, I didn't want to call my parents and ask for more money.

Remember me?

Oh yeah, absolutely.

In what, in what ways specifically?

It's obviously the stakes are different. One is pretending it's life or death, and the other they are. But they, the way you work on a film and a play is very similar to the military you don't. In my instance, I was a, uh, 81 millimeter. Mortarman, so that's a gun team.

I, I, Uh, I would also think that. I mean, because one of the things that I really admire about your performances, and not just in film. But it's something that I've noticed, uh, I in another lifetime, wrote for Saturday Night Live. And I love, I love when you do the show. I absolutely love when you do the show because you are fantastic. And one of the things that I noticed about it in so many of the sketches you do is your approach is as if you are making a scorsese film. You go out there with this intensity, I'm thinking, there's one sketch that really pops for me. Where it's, uh. It's a class day where people are supposed to have their father or their mother come in and you come in and you approach it with more conviction.

Oh, well, that's I don't know how to follow that up. That's very nice of you to say, coming from you in particular.

Well, I just I. I've always thought it's commitment, it's total commitment. And, uh, and I noticed, like, you're not card bound on the cue, cards and stuff. I can tell that you've prepared. Like, No, this is important, we've, this has got to be just right.

Yeah.

You'd notice the difference.

Yeah, the cue, the cue card thing is also cause I'm not a very good, I can't read very well, I wasn't, I'm not a okay.

I'm taking this compliment back.

I did not have a good education. But but, but no, when I get, when I get nervous, I'll go over them with Wally there all the time, all the way up until when you're supposed to walk out.

You know, it's interesting to talk about commitment. Um, I really loved, Uh, and I, I mentioned this to you once, cause we had a chance to chat not too long ago and I mentioned that. Um, I was a big fan of the movie Lincoln, and this is when you were just starting to get your break. I think you was this before girls, or after, maybe.

Uh, right, right around the same time, right around the same time.

And you got, it's a very small part, but you have this amazing scene, you're a telegraph operator, and, uh, it's a small scene. But I remembered even then thinking like, Oh, this, you like, you pop in that scene, and and, uh, that's pretty cool, uh. And I was talking to you about it, and you said that, yeah, you learned how to operate a telegraph machine for that scene. And I didn't even think that was necessary, right?

Yeah, no, well, I thought it was cause I read the scene and he was operating a telegraph. So I'm like, Well, I don't know how to do that.

No, but I'm telling you, this is how we're different, this is why, this is why you're Adam driver. And I'm this guy over here is because I'd have learned my lines and everything. And then I've been like, and probably doing bits. And then Lincoln would come by and I'd be like, Hi, Lincoln, you know? And you learned really how to send a morse code?

Well, yeah, I try. I tried to learn the alphabet. And then when I got there, they just hooked it up to a machine and that's what I found out the first day. They're like, Oh, you didn't need to do that, we just hooked it up to the machine then that that was kind of a metaphor for the rest of my career.

Well, you have to talk about something kind of delicate here, because you are sitting in the company of Mr. Matt Gourley, who's one of the biggest Star Wars fans of all time and knows everything about the franchise. And you, first of all, you were brilliant in the Force Awakens, absolutely brilliant in that role. And so and so. The scene where you're working your way down the corridor with the lightsaber is one of the best, just most best. I thought, I think, movie depictions of intensity that I've seen, of someone who's just determined to get from point A to point B. And pure rage and wrath.

Well, thank you. Conan. Uh, no, but you did it with such style that well. I want to know is if if you learn the telegraph, how do you go about learning the force for something like that?

He could really levitate X-wing fighters. We have a machine for that.

Yeah, a lot of, a lot of jumping rope.

No, I got nothing, I don't know.

No, I, I'm just happy to be here with you.

Have you have you met Harrison?

Has he come on the show? Oh, he's been on the show. Harrison Ford did the show, Uh, not pretty recently. And he was, almost he was. It was so funny, cause he's, you know, people don't realize how funny he is. But he came in and immediately started yelling at me. I don't know who we hear is listening to the Harrison Ford episode.

Not at me.

No, no one yells at you, Sona, you're perfect.

And I'm like, that's how I imagine you see the world, though.

You know, my name's coming up right now, but you play Enzo Ferrari and I really knew I didn't really know anything about him. And again, first of all, the look of this movie is extraordinary.

No, no, they won't let the they have, they have them there. If we had like one or two, there were $70 million, one of them, how much? $70 million?

That was the safety precaution they took back then.

Yeah, I'll tuck and roll.

Let's hope that you are thrown free at 120 miles an hour, but don't worry you're wearing a leather helmet, maybe.

You're right.

Uh, no, and and uh, the movie, Um, I again, I think what you do, uh, so superbly. In every role, you, you can bring this intensity. And what's great is Enzo Ferrari in this film is a very driven man. I mean, he's literally it's, uh, he's. He's made it through World War II bombings in, Uh, in Italy, and through the rubble he has made. Managed to keep his car company going.

Again, that's very nice. I have no power in film.

I have, there's, I have, no, I have. My compliments mean nothing, and they won't help you in any way.

Um, no, he was a very, and he's also, you know, it's impossible to tell everyone's version of who he was, because he was very. And I think the movie does this. He was a different, a different person to different people, obviously as people are, but he is very much also. Michael, you know, Michael is as as, uh, meticulous and almost wills films into existence. Because the nothing, nothing on set is really helps you to kind of make a movie. You know, you're talking about Michael Mann, Michael Mann, the director of the movie.

Yeah, yeah, uh, so there's also I'm not going to give anything away, but there's a, there's a. There's a scene in the movie. I watched it with my 17 year old son, Uh, and there's a scene in the movie where there's a. Well, there's a couple of scenes where there's some crashes depicted, but there's one that's depicted that. His jaw fell off onto the ground and rolled around.

Yeah, I, I. I didn't watch the films that I was in for a long time. And then the last couple of years, I just like, Oh, fuck it, I'll watch, I'll watch it and see, uh, what that's like.

And so talk about that you've never watched yourself and then you've just started now, yeah, and what's? what's your experience been?

It's it's awful, it's awful until it's not awful. My thing about not watching is you kind of got to watch it five times. To forget the shock of all the mistakes that you made. And then you got to watch it again. To be like, Oh, okay, you know, now, if I remember the circumstances of the movie, then you, the more you watch it, the more that starts to deaden, and you start to watch the movie.

You did not think you would be, ever be a leading man.

No, I still, I don't still think I'm like a leading man. I think I'm kind of eking by getting lead roles in movies. Until they won't ask me to do that anymore. But I was going to say about the crash though, is that in New York Film Festival? I did? I did watch, uh, I did watch it, uh. We had seen it in Venice and it was. It was strange, but in in New York Film Festival when that scene happened. I'd never been in a theater ever that had that kind of reaction. Everybody, people were yelling, you know, and.

It's shocking and crazy looking. And it's in a world where, you know, so many films depict things like The sky opens. And you know, uh, we're. We're used to these action movies where amazing CGI things happen and craziness happens and you kind of get dead into it. And then I don't know how they did it, but in this scene, uh, it, it's, um, just kind of mind blowing. And it stuck with me for a long time afterwards. It was really powerful.

In Michael's movies, anyway, it seems like if it's a big movie, then it's dumb, or it's big. And it's playing to the lowest common denominator. And if it's an art movie, it's so obscure that no one's going to fucking watch it. And there's something great about, and I love those, uh, not the big dumb ones, but I like the ones that are interesting also. But there's something about Michael's movies in particular, that they're a great, they're cinematic, it's character driven, which also seems to be a hard thing to find in films. Now, uh, it's, it's accessible to anyone.

Do you? Is there something in your career that you've been thinking about? Or you aspire to as something like a next move that you? Or something you dream about? Or do you do? You just take this like, roll at a time and think, I, I, I, I'm just I'm going from moment to moment in my career.

A bit of both. I always had the ambition because it's a director's medium, that it just makes sense to me to work with good directors. If you can and be available, so if something happens that, uh, that you're available to do that. But then I can't really control where that goes. And then also I would say that, uh, now kind of biology is taken over a bit. Where things that I would do in my twenties, um, you know that now I'm about to turn 40, I've, I'm like a little, and I have two kids, you know, it's just different now. Uh, things that I would do before, I wouldn't do now, and now it's more about.

Yeah, it's funny you'd mentioned that, cause I'm 20 years older than you.

And I'm kidding, I'm sorry, I know, I know I'm sorry.

No, you said what everyone in the whole room was like, Jesus, let's get this man an ambulance.

But, I mean, from the outside, it's obvious why you are in the position you are, you have incredible discipline and you're brilliant, you know, you have, like, such a.

Yeah.

It's I feel the exact same way I'm and also I look mad. I feel like I'm smiling, but I just look mad all the time, and so I see pictures later. I'm like I was smiling.

And that's the but also you can look really intense.

Yeah, I can.

So you're relaxed, like I'm just watching a tennis match or a basketball game, or whatever, a baseball game. But if you're just let your face fall a little bit, it does look like you're you're out for murder. You know, it's murder in time, yeah.

Yeah, and also I'm just not good at it, I don't like it. When they tell me to like, smile or move over here, I'm like, No, you know, I don't want to like, so I. There's some I know like a child.

Yeah, that's what happened when we asked you to do the podcast.

Thank you, I feel the same about you.

That man does not disappoint. I love that guy and to see that reaction too, that made me so happy. It's so much just to see the crowd lose. It was really nice.

Yeah, he got a way bigger ice, yeah.

He got a much bigger and then I had to spend 20 minutes receding. People, yeah.

Well, his was also. It wasn't just longer, it was louder.

It's so loud.

Yeah, there was an intensity, people were like, Oh shit, wow, that's, you know, when I came out, there was it was nice.

It was like, you know, the inevitable arrival of death, you know what's coming?

There's nothing we can do about it. Conan's coming, he's up there, we know he's going to come out, so let's accept it.

Well, we have a very special treat right now, and by treat, I mean, almost in the literal sense, an edible, delicious treat. Because if you've been following the podcast, you know that there's been a bit of a contest between the three of us in terms of sandwiches.

He said that he would. We could each have our own signature sandwich.

And we got to make up what those sandwiches were.

Yes, yeah, I don't remember what mine was. I'm not a fan of this podcast.

Yeah, that's right.

What was on mine? Corned beef Russian dressing.

Coleslaw.

Coleslaw.

I think that's it.

Okay, I didn't mean that's it, that's a great sandwich, I think that's it, I think that's it.

Mine was a gyro with no fucking tomatoes, and it was very specific it had no tomatoes.

Because you hate tomatoes, I hate tomatoes. Is it the texture or the taste? both, both?

I don't care for it. I think the middle is like boogers I actually am. When people eat tomatoes in front of me, I'm disgusted by those people. Okay, yeah, you know.

You get it, that guy gets it.

Yeah, everyone's just eating boogers.

He also won't ride a cab because he knows there's jizz all over it.

People are just ejaculating all over the city.

No one's doing that. I don't know what movies you're watching.

It's coded in ejaculate, it's not true.

It's unbelievable, that's untrue. And what about you? What was your sandwich?

Mine was a patty melt that we called well, first, we call it the matty pelt, but that was gross. You don't want to eat that.

The matty pelt is disgusting.

Yeah, so it's the matty melt, and it's on Hawaiian bread, and it has American cheese. Because it's for patriots, it's for anybody that considers themselves an American.

That was low.

Anybody who doesn't eat it would be like a Stalin-era Soviet.

My sandwich is called the Khrushchev.

So we also learned, by the way, that there's a finite number of these sandwiches tonight.

Right, so this gentleman brings these sandwiches here, and as a backup, he brought just so many, not that much, but he brought a backup sandwich or two. And tell us what happened. I just found out about this seconds before the show.

So did I. Our wonderful lawyer here at Team Coco, David Melamed, just saw a platter of sandwiches and ate one. But the important thing to note is that someone who has to be discerning has to know what is right wrong. What is the top of the heap? Chose the matty melt to eat.

Oh, that's what he did, he chose yours. I don't know, that guy doesn't seem that smart to me.

Anyway, the long story short is we have Jay here and we get to try out these sandwiches.

We get to try our sandwiches.

So why don't we bring him out?

Let's bring him out right now, OK, ladies and gentlemen. Jay from EJ's Luncheonette, the man that made it all happen.

I'm coming in.

I'd like to find out quickly, maybe you could tell everybody. Of the three sandwiches, is there one that's the clear favorite? Do you want me to lie to you?

Fuck.

Why?

Why is it so popular?

That was such an awkward strut, that was just awful what you did. I didn't want to look at it and that's what happened to your spine.

I was victory.

That was weird.

I was strutting.

I'm just strutting down the boulevard, you know what? All right? So I'm intrigued here, this is my sandwich.

I would also like to say that on the flight in here. I told Sona that we were going to do this and we're going to get to taste our sandwiches. And Sona, you said, Can I just try yours? what?

You don't remember this? Try yours, yes, we said last night she was high on the flight. Yeah, yeah.

That's good for a high snack.

What is yours, Sona? what's on yours?

Mine is a gyro, I'm already eating it, she's got good gyro meat.

It's a good one.

That's good stuff.

We were eating about the show today and all Sona kept saying is we get to eat these sandwiches, right? Oh yeah, and you kept talking about it like, you can't get a sandwich in your regular life.

I said, I'm going to fuck this gyro.

All right, I'm going to Jesus Christ.

And you won't get in a cab.

Are you not eating it?

I think we should have.

So I'm choosing between the sandwiches, not the three of you.

No, no, not the three of us. Just which sandwich you like? Just take a bite. Yeah, just take a bite out of each one. Do it very quickly, so you're in danger of choking.

That's pretty good.

I don't seem thrilled now this, it's American, oh God.

That was too big a bite.

I know I said, you need to take three bites.

That was too big a bite.

Okay.

It's very dry.

Well, it's very dry. Yeah, okay, I wish we had somebody to wash it down. Does anyone backstage have anything that?...?

That's Conan's water.

And that cup is yours, by the way. Yeah, I'll have security, take it away from you on the way out.

I actually do like this better, yes.

Yes.

Mine's good.

It's Greek.

It's European like you, same continent.

I'm sorry, this is delicious.

Yes.

Okay, you know what? you were honest? Denmark, Denmark No.

Well, I am not American, so it's all right that I say I did like yours the least. Matt I'm very sorry, yes.

Okay, thank you so much. Can we get an American up here, an actual citizen? All right, you can take those sandwiches back to your seat with you, because let's hear it for Christopher.

That is good, right?

I did, too.

I lost enjoy, thank you very much. I don't know where I'm going, though this guy's killing it.

Jay, where do you come down on this?

Yeah, what do you think is the best sandwich? My two favorite are the corned beef and the matty Mel. Oh, thank you.

Okay, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. And Jay, what do you think is the best sandwich?

It's all delicious, but for me, this is great, but for me, it's the Matty Mel. I'm a burger guy.

Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for Jay. Thank you so much, Jay.

Thank you, thank you, you're a gentleman. thank you for doing that. No problem.

That's homemade.

I don't know what that is. Yeah, thank you very much sir. All right, let's give that man a hand.

That's good a bite, okay? We're going to go ahead and do some pre-selected voicemails, nice?

These are voicemails we're going to listen to. Oh, what are we doing? There's people coming down the aisle.

And you've got something all over your face.

Let's hope it's sauce, here we go.

Ladies and gentlemen, first up, is it Haley Rich? That's correct, welcome.

What is your name? I didn't hear it, Haley, Haley. How are you, Haley?

I've been better.

It's just not my night tonight. Are you unhappy with your seat?

That, among other things, what is your problem?

Fill us in. We have this great show. What's the problem? What's going on?

No, I'm happy to be here, I'm very excited, thank you.

We got you up to a baseline, okay with things?

I actually just moved here from Boston, I know you're a big Boston guy.

Yeah, that's where I'm from.

And now I'm in Williamsburg, apparently you live there too.

I live in Williamsburg. Yes, you've researched me well.

We're soulmates, I guess.

Do you live in Williamsburg now? I do. Yeah, I lived there, I think, maybe 30 years before your birth.

I do I have a question? I was supposed to go to this show with my mom, but she actually bailed on me.

Wait, she bailed.

She bailed, Yeah.

And you told her, it's Conan O'Brien, right?