Disrespectfully - Noods, Phobias, and The Art of Lip Reading | Episode 2

Welcome to Disrespectfully, with Katie Maloney and Dana Kathan. Unapologetically, we're here to do what we want to do. Spilling the tea, babe, you're going to see the power of women like, disrespectfully, welcome back.

I feel good. How are you feeling?

Oh, I feel good, yeah, like feeling myself. I would say, yeah, I'm so excited about all the feedback we've been getting and just like it's flattering.

Yeah, I feel like it was just like my birthday.

I mean, well, and your birthday's coming up and we're going to get into that in a minute. But yeah, I mean, obviously there's going to be the sour with the sweet. So there were some trolls and that was so fucking funny and delicious, and I can't wait to talk about it. But it's been such a positive response online and we're just so grateful for everyone who's listened, who's watched us on the tube. We love you.

No, I mean, I mean. It's definitely to be expected that it's not going to be received sweetly by everybody, but I feel like overall it's been really, really wonderful.

Well, and it's like, we've discussed this, we're not for everyone, you're not for everyone in your life personally. And I'm like, the people who are outing themselves. The trolls are so funny to me and I love sometimes I look at their profile and they're always like, Love everyone.

Spread love, not hate.

Spread love, not hate. Blah, blah, blah, like my doggos and my kids, and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, you're nasty. And also something that always stuck with me because I can't imagine being inside the brain. And I'm sure you feel this way too of someone who anonymously or leaves a bad comment to someone they've never even met.

Embarrassing, I mean, it's just. It never occurred to me to go online and look at things I don't enjoy and like and engage with it. If I don't like something, it's not, it's not part of my visual diet.

No visual diet.

I know, right? If I come across a TV show or a person or something I don't like, I'm scrolling past it.

Yeah.

I'm not engaging with it, so I don't understand the logic. The psyche of a person who is taking any time of their day to leave negative comments. Or just, yeah, just I don't, I don't know. The psyche of a troll is always something that is sort of, I don't know, riveting. I don't, I don't know.

Should be studied well. I mean, either I'm scrolling past it or I'm talking shit in the DMS to my friends, like an adult, like, Grow up, are you, are you OK?

Yeah, I've been, I've been getting that sort of treatment for a really long time. It doesn't really affect me the way it used to. I'm pretty conditioned to it, so thank you.

Well, that's what I was going to say is I'm very different. So when I was on the show, you obviously have been doing it for so long. I was really sensitive to that and it did affect me. And also it's like, when people put lies or misinformation, that always really bothers me because it's you.

You're not going to listen good.

Don't listen great, you see, we don't want whack listeners, our listeners are hot and cool and amazing.

So I just, I got the point of mentioning that you're not going to listen to something. It's just like, adorable, you just wasted time out of my day. I don't know, I don't.

So I don't know. Thanks for the engagement.

This podcast isn't for you. Cool, it's then you don't need to listen to it. I don't know what to say, some of the other stuff is like, you're.

Those people are just beyond help. Like, I can't, I'm not here to educate you, I'm not here to hold your hand. Seems like you need a hug?

It's me.

It's Katie, it's me. Spoiler alert The Big Three eight.

Well, by the time you're listening to this, my birthday will have passed as of yesterday.

Yeah, this is, this is from the past, it's kind of a time continuum situation. But every year when we go out to our friend's birthday dinners and we are having a birthday dinner on Katie's actual birthday, which is the 16th, put it in your calendar. Wish her happy birthday. I ask the same question and I always get excited about people's response.

I didn't think on this.

Well, you're going to think on it right now, every year. And I had done some iteration of this before. But our friend Courtney Baker gave me this language. So I this is what I use and I steal it. I want to know what was the peak and the pit of your 37th year on earth, and what are you most looking forward to for 38 and leaving in the past?

I think it was like reentering, you know, the dating world in a real way and being, well, my version of vulnerable, which isn't the most. But really kind of putting myself out there and experiencing disappointment and getting, you know. I don't say like heartbroken, but like experiencing that again for the first time in a while. It was uncomfortable.

I mean, I feel like that's a good one. People. Unless you're dating in 2024, you really can't understand, or you have been exposed to it the past few years. Because I relate to that. It's hard and even people who you weren't that serious about, or, you know, I mean, it's the disappointment though, and the ick that is associated with that is difficult.

Yeah.

And so I think that's a good way to say that was like the worst.

But I mean, I think that just like, kind of, I mean, like there was the worst that could happen, of course, but I mean, I think just as an overall. It was sort of just getting myself back out there and reconditioning myself in that way of like, understanding that dating is, you know, you're not in the business of love, you're in the business of rejection.

And so kind of just that it's like the saying for I don't know why I know this. But it's called fishing, not catching, which is just so true. Because they're not all W's and there is a lot of rejection associated with it.

Yeah, so I mean, not that I ever, like, am committed to any kind of outcome. Or I thought any of those things would work out. But I just. You can't really prepare yourself for what it's going to feel like when it doesn't, you know when it hurt.

It does hurt.

Yeah, so I think just like, kind of experiencing a little bit of like, womp, womp.

OK, so the womp, womp was our pit. What is our peak? And if it's not starting this podcast, or when we went to Europe, or the time we spent together, all the time you're fired.

Well, I would say I was going to say the peak was probably our, you know, Europe trip. I think that was the most fun I've had.

I mean, it's pretty iconic.

It was really iconic.

We fit a lot in in 16 days.

I feel like I'm missing something, but like, when I'm just like, looking back on this year, it's like, that was pretty, pretty.

Iconic, Yeah, it was.

Felt really alive.

Yeah, we did.

I love getting to, just like experience new places and new culture. And McDonald's. oh yeah, oh yeah. Trying new McDonald's in other countries really is important to me. I think so.

It's an important thing. I think. You. Did you have the Cadbury McFlurry in London?

Was that? Yeah, that was a hit?

A hit I had there. What did I have? The mozzarella sticks with the sour cream and chive sauce, here's the thing.

No, it wasn't good.

But in Lisbon, in Portugal and London was fire, hot fire.

Yeah, it was, but London was the best.

It was the best. London and Rome right now are tied for me in the world.

But I didn't, I didn't have it in Rome, I was too busy just eating pizza and pasta, as one does when in Rome.

As one does, me and Raleigh were really drunk one night and needed it, so I get it, you know, that was the thing. But speaking of we have gone on, I keep saying this. We and I have gone on a lot of trips over the past few years. But I'm very ready for a vacation.

Oh yeah, because there's vacation and there's a trip. Explain the difference well, because for me, when you go on a trip, you are exploring, it's busy.

When it's only half full, I want another one coming from the bar, yeah, a swim up bar.

You're at a resort somewhere, yeah.

Absolutely well. The thing is, you come back from Europe and also we're so grateful and lucky to go on these trips and traveling all over. But you're fucking exhausted.

You usually need a vacation from a trip.

So we're going to take a vacation this year at some point and maybe I'll do a little scuba diving. But other than that, we will be on the beach. Maybe having our Stella got her group back moment, we don't know.

I like the way you talk.

We make a lot of friends on trips. So, you know, okay, something interesting we were discussing, so we're super excited to be open and vulnerable and TMI on this podcast.

We want to be able to share current affairs and stories of what's happening. But I don't think either of us really like we're prepared to like how to address the current state of affairs.

The roster exposure.

Yeah, because like, we are going to be exposing ourselves and we don't want to expose the innocent and the ones that maybe aren't prepared. So, I mean, obviously we won't be using like actual names, but also I don't know. It's like, how soon do you start talking? It's like, Oh, it went on a date last night or last week.

They hate you, it's over.

You never hear from them again. Ghost Yeah, I feel like almost like this would be doing that with certainty.

Well, OK, so my thing about it is one of my hoes has already fallen off. And I'm like, the thing is, I feel like they listen to this podcast and I don't really have a roster. I have pen pals like we had discussed that, but as it continues and you're open about that. It's an interesting balance to be publicly sharing this information because everyone has that right. And by the way, men get to do it a lot more than women.

No, and it's an interesting thing because it's like, I'm someone, you know, and you've had experience with this as well. But for over a decade, I've been living my life very much open on a television show, so like for me.

Because you got married.

Yeah.

You settled after this part, yeah.

But also, I started the show already, was already with Tom for a couple of years and started the show with him and that continued. So I just, I, just that that thought had never even occurred to me. And even though some of my friends, you know, were single and navigating that life on the show, I just never thought that would be me.

You can't relate to the Kardashians, that's the most relatable family in America, I would say.

Right? But it's just very true, because it's like when you're, you know, just trying to get to know somebody and get to a real place. And see if you even like the person you know. You don't want to just like, start just being so public about it, you want to kind of try to, like, keep it for yourself a little bit. But also that is just does such a disservice to your actual job and what you do and why, you know, you even have a job.

Well, it's, yeah, it's hard. They can, they can give you a goog, they can look at your Wiki feet, which we covered in episode one. There's all kinds of things they can find out about you, and obviously you, you've had way more of this.

Yeah, well, I talked about this, like with Nick when we did his podcast, that it just feels like it's an unfair playing field. Because I, in order for me to get to know somebody, I have to, like, spend time with them and ask them questions. And, you know, do that whole dance where with me, they can just google me and find out a lot of, like, very intimate information, yeah.

You have to be like, what's your favorite color?

They can watch the show, but yeah, when I meet somebody and oftentimes they're like, Oh, I'm sorry, like, I haven't, I've never watched. Like, I'm sort of familiar with it, I kind of know, like I've heard about it or something, which is fair. It's like, Yeah, a 30 something year old dude is not really our demographic. Unless they had an ex that they watch a show with, or their mom or something like that. But, like, typically, they're not turning on Bravo just by their own mom.

God, I hope they're not watching with their mom. Are they living at home?

I mean, I don't know, but like, maybe when they're home for Christmas, I don't know their mom.

I feel like it's usually exes like, that's, you know, right?

But it's just it's fine. But then when they get well after talking, then they get curious and then they're like, Oh, I feel like, should I watch? and I'm just like, No, oh my god, maybe they do.

Oh, I always tell them no, I say, please don't like, I'm like, maybe eventually.

But just like I prefer you not watch, I don't know like it's like watching like home video or something.

Well, yeah, there's just a level of weird and also I was just such a different version of myself at that time. So you're like, that is, that's five software updates ago.

Like, that's what I mean exactly. It's like, I'm well, that's fine.

Well, and a lot of people, because I've seen comments on this in general, the public and I, so I'd love. These people that you're seeing into that don't understand how it works in terms of what you're saying. If it's like you film something for three hours and five, three to five minutes, make it into the show. So people don't really understand the background or the context, and so things look more explosive than they are. Or don't understand every angle of what the argument was about, or whatever.

So yeah, it's just like, Yeah, no, but so even even with this with us. Like wanting to share stories. If it scares someone away, if the same way me being on a TV show is going to scare some way, I guess good, then. That just means that person is not for us, right? We're not going to ever try to embarrass or offend anyone. But I mean, telling our point of view or our side of things is still the truth, yeah.

We sure are.

We'll weed them out.

We were just discussing this, but when we stopped talking, the silence in this room. I'm curious if other people know about this because it truly freaks me out. There's a room in Denmark and you had heard of it. Yeah, that is supposed to be the quietest room on earth, and it's so quiet that you. It makes you go insane within minutes. Because you can hear like your saliva and your blood pulsing, and your hair.

Yeah, I think it's within like 90 seconds, but no one's been able to be there for more than five minutes or something. I might be getting those.

How long would you make it?

I mean, if they're saying it within 90 seconds, probably, probably a couple of minutes. I mean, because even when it's quiet and you don't have music on or something, there's still like noise that you can hear. Like maybe outside or down for like little simple distractions. But I mean, I'm not someone that needs to always have like noise, I always happen to have, like, I put music on usually. But there'll be sometimes where I'm just like, I'll come home and I'll like, just get busy doing something. And then I'll like, it'll just be so quiet. And I'm just like, in my like head.

Oh my God, my thoughts are really loud, exhausting and very loud. I mean, that's why both of us have sleeping problems. Like, my brain never shuts the fuck up, but I would make it .063 seconds because I do have to have something all the time. I sleep with a white noise machine, as you know, because even when we're traveling, I have to put it on my phone.

You cannot take a moment of just like just silence or just like no noise, no.

Sounds terrible, that's a thing, I think.

There might be a condition, probably. Have you ever looked it up?

I have so many other conditions. Why do I want to know?

I mean, there's like a name for, like everything, for phobias and conditions, so I'm sure there's there's something.

Well, I just found out the name.

It's called like the data phobic, data phobic.

It's definitely not human interaction because I actually really love being alone, but it is a sound thing. This I see, I can't even look at this photo, I'm going to zoom in on it.

Oh, it's like, the whole thing.

Yes, OK, there is something called trick I'm try pop phobia.

That one's very common.

I feel like I when I tell you I literally am covering the this photo, I'm not even I'm done with it. I. That is probably my most intense one. But I do have diagnosed OCD and I feel like that is how it manifests for me in terms of repetitive thoughts and then weird shit like that.

I think this goes beyond just a pet peeve. I think it's like a straight up phobia or something. People who like, chew very loudly or swallow really loudly. It to the point where it, like, really sends me into a moment, Oh my God.

We were at the movies recently and Katie freaked the fuck out because the person next to her was chewing loudly.

Also, he was eating like a shit sandwich, that thing stunk so bad I couldn't take it. But like, if I can hear somebody chewing, slurping, just eating obnoxiously loud, or just just chewing, and it doesn't even have to be obnoxious. So I can hear you chewing. And I'm like, you, you want to take that somewhere else?

No, this is, this is the thing it's called misophonia. People with, I'm probably saying, all these wrong are affected emotionally by common sounds, usually those made by others. The examples above breathing, yawning or chewing create a fight or flight response that triggers anger and a desire to.

I'm emotionally affected, right?

You are emotionally.

I'm not even, I'm not even mad at it, so it's it's fine.

Yeah, I mean, well, sometimes it feels nice to have something tied to identify that you can identify a feeling. Also. I'm insecure about saying yeah on this podcast thing because our amazing editors made a yeah, yeah, yeah, made a counter to talk about that. But I can't change who I am.

I is who I is.

I is who I is. Katie was brought this up, so you tell us about it.

OK, so there was this trend circulating a while back, mostly on like TikTok, where people were basically equating very non-sexual acts that people would do for one another. As a body, body is working into, like a body count, basically equating it to, like, that would count as me having sex with that person, ergo that's part of my body count, so they would say that's a body.

Like, I need a prenup before someone sends me a playlist. We are married.

Yeah, that is deep.

People are a little too flippant with that, too. OK, for me, this is actually a red flag. Because if someone immediately sends me a playlist, I'm like, that's the worst love bombing. There is like, you are trying to subliminally control my brain right now.

And it's also if there's songs on there that I fall in love with now, that song reminds me of you. Now. It's like, every time I hear that song, it's our song and I'm in trouble. I'm a bitch that loves limerence.

I learned what Limerence was this summer and can you please share with the class? Because it was so upsetting and I realized I am the Queen of this.

Oh yeah, limerence is basically you meet somebody and you create a whole narrative about a person that technically isn't even true. Like, you might just start scrolling on their Instagram, see what the things that they're into. Maybe there's an ex on there.

Well, it's whimsical in the sense that those fairies that turn on you and eat you are whimsical. Like it's so toxic. And as you get to know them, it builds. I mean, and limerence is such a pretty word like that. Sounds like it would be one of Gwyneth Paltrow's kids names, but it's like, so, so unbelievably harmful to your mental health.

Yeah, but, and I do it.

That's my first stop, and I'm trying to retrain my brain. But we have you and I both have overactive imaginations. But the playlist doesn't fucking help.

The playlist doesn't help because, like I, I'm such like a musical person that like, I like, I said, I listen to music all the time. Frisian is like, So that's another one of my favorite words, like, I. It affects me on a physical sort of level, too. That like, if so, again, if you send me a playlist and I listen to a song and I get that version like, it's on baby.

It's on.

Anyway, so what, what would be a body for you?

You know, when you're walking on a sidewalk with a guy. And cause? I feel like they would be different ones for men and women that I would be interested in, but for men, they're walking on the inside of the sidewalk. And they, without saying anything, you guys are just in the middle of a conversation, you're looking at each other's eyes. I'm in Limberance Land and they just switched to the other side, so they're on the outside of the sidewalk. So if you both are struck by a car, they're big, strong biceps will get in the way.

Or women, you know, if they like, take their hand on your like waist and then move you over.

Body, body, What's another one for you? They're basically non-sexual sexual things that, like, feel like I'm like, ooh, that's so sexual, but it's there's nothing sexual about it.

We fucked kind of like, just now, yeah, and you don't realize it.

Get me the prenup.

I want to sign it. I mean, somebody like, laughing really hard at one of my jokes body.

Body body like, I know I'm a funny queen, but okay.

Like, when you really laugh, yeah.

Body, I would say for me, another one would be when they make the plans, they tell me a time, day, location. Because I hate having to be in control all the time, and I'm like, immediately, yes.

So initiative body, okay.

Like, you're telling me the restaurant we're going to the time, what the vibe is? Just say you love me, you can just say you love me, that's fine, you can just say I love you.

Yeah.

Body, I would say one for women would be them complimenting your outfit, like, it's a different thing when a man who knows nothing about outfits. And they like, you sit down, they like, put your hand, their hand on your knee, and they're like, I like your doc Martens, and you're like, thanks.

That's like, almost body.

That's almost body.

That doesn't quite do it for me.

I would say I'm in general, it's like touching, like, like putting, but that's like, but that.

Is we're, we're, we're crossing into getting what would be sexual?

Yeah, if they send you a car before your first date, second date, third date, whatever body for me. Okay, if you want me to meet your family, just say that. You could just say that. You know, when someone is like, here, read this text message on my phone, they'll be like, read the. They're like, waiting for your response. It's like a text or anything like, something on TikTok or whatever, and there's something you have to read.

No, and somebody asked me where I want to go to dinner. All of a sudden I'm like, Uh.

I've never eaten before.

I've like, what kind of food is in the world?

What is food? What are you talking about?

Well, it's usually something that like, it's like, it's almost like the games you play just throughout the day of like, you know what? I mean? It's like not something it's hard to like, come up with things like totally on the spot. But it's like something that when something happens, when somebody does something for you, or just they do something, I don't know.

Have you seen any on TikTok that have stood out to you?

Yeah, but it's been a while since like this. This trend was like a bit back. But I just I thought about it and it just kind of, like, made me laugh. Because, yeah, I don't know, are you looking some up?

Yeah, I'm going to look some up because we'll see. Oh my god, I know I'm seeing so many toxic ones about body count, I just fucking can't. Can we please discuss this?

But like actual body count, well, that's the thing, because, I mean, usually you're going to find a lot of toxic men talking about body count mostly. Which is like, it's always, it's always coupled with the the term high value, which what is that?

It's some arbitrary thing where they it has like a little bit different definition. And also what's so just completely fresh to me is the people who are calling themselves high value, like the toxic man who's talking about wanting a high value woman. I'm like, you are not a high value person like you think you are, but you are gross and it's funny to me.

That was first of all, I think that came from. What's his name, Andrew Tate, which?

Where's what jail cell is he reporting to us from? I don't know. I love him being in jail.

But he definitely was peddling that bullshit of like, high value men only want high value women, which like, again, like, I don't know, but like.

Here's the thing, and we're going to talk about men specifically here, because this is not an energy I've any woman I've ever been with has brought. Like, it's just not a thing because we are elevated and understand how stupid that is. But men want like 21, Savage said in a song. Like, How many bodies you got? I hope it's not more than a few, and it's like, I'm sorry.

Because that's not necessarily true, but that's a massive red flag if a guy has an issue with body huge.

And also, yeah, they just want a woman who will sit on it and spin. And you're like, how do you think that you? You garner that information, that knowledge? Over time? I'm like, the things that you're looking for, it's just not adding up. So it's like the Madonna whore complex of like, there. Want this, this woman who's wholesome and meets these things that are high value.

You answered him, Yeah. How did he react?

Again, it didn't feel like it was coming from a malicious place. Like, I don't think that even if I was like 2000, which it's not, he would have felt any kind of way about it. But it just for me, it was just weird in general.

But it's like, what, like, so people that want to know that, like, what, what does that information do for you? like, how is that useful? Like, so if it's I just, I don't understand, I don't understand the point.

How does that data point of the all the information you've gathered from me about me? how does that weigh for you?

But it's not a defining thing for a person. I truly don't think it is. No. If someone has slept with one person, it's not going to make a difference to me whether they've slept with one or they slept with 200..

Yeah, I'm glad we ended up talking about this in general, like it is a funny trend, but then when it bleeds over into this, it's just so upsetting. But again, I want you to identify yourself as someone that I would never give the time of day. So please. There was also another TikTok.

No.

No, thank you.

No, thank you.

Andrew Tate.

What I wanted to ask you about, too. So I mean, I didn't. I didn't watch the Golden Globes because I was at the the Creative Arts Emmys. Do you know what?

I wasn't at the Emmys, so I couldn't watch the Globes.

Do you know what I'm going to bring up? Yes, and I wait, what am I going to? Okay?

You're obviously going to talk about Jo Koy.

No, but I would, okay.

The Timothy Jalame and Kelly Jenner of It All.

And Selena and Taylor Swift There was just like a lot of talk about what Selena was saying to Taylor and the everyone was coming out with. Like the The Lip readers and and-.

Lip readers on TikTok are one of the most valuable assets of our time. Remind me, when we're ever discussing anything in public to go like this because they I love watching their videos.

Do that. But also my thing is always like, talk about something. But as if, like, you're talking about the opposite of it, right? So like, if you're talking about something like, really gossipy, laugh and smile, as if like, you're talking about just like anything else you know. Like, so it doesn't stand out as something like, Oh, what's going on over there?

Well, okay, the whole version of what has come out so basically. Kylie Jenner was there with Timothy Chalamet, and they were. There was a bunch of fan cams of them being like, I love you, No, I love you. And then, allegedly, Selena Gomez runs up to Taylor Swift and says she tried. She asked Timothy Chalamet for a photo.

Well, that's what it was. She, she like, goes up and she goes, Yeah, and like, he said, no, or something like that, like, she's just as like, adamant, she's like nodding her head.

That got picked up by mics. You can hear her say Timmy or Timothy or whatever. So the thing is, for me, this doesn't really track, though. And also Selena, did you see that she had commented on something that was like, That is not what happened? Which I can understand. Her trying to save face if it was, but her and Timothy Chalamet are supposed to be friends or something.

Um, it was called like, Rainy Day in New York or something.

So okay, for instance, so we're friends. I would never go up to you and say, Can I have a photo? We'd be like, Hey, how's it going? and you just like, would take a photo.

I don't think she went up to them, I think she was talking about them.

How do you mean?

I don't know, but girly girl next to Taylor obviously said his name. I think there I think she was talking about something having to do with Timothy and Kylie. Do I know what she was saying?

Which makes sense, and I particularly love the globes, but let the gals gossip. Yeah, yeah.

Well, he was even saying, he's like, I wrote some of these and some of them. I didn't write. funny ones. I wrote. It's like, Okay, well, you're not specifying which ones.

By the way, you're losing your audience when you're losing your audience, there are ways to recoup that if you know what you're doing. And I feel like it's kind of nuanced hosting. And perhaps he just didn't have the right kind of experience to be doing that, but the way that. He immediately, when he realized he lost the room, blamed the writers and then said, shut up because he was getting booed.

Yeah, he starts praising Oppenheimer about, like, Oh, this movie is based on a 700 page, Pulitzer-prizing winning novel and Barbie movies, based on a doll with boobies. It's like, Wait, it's just fucking.

I wonder how him and his piano key veneers felt when they woke up in the morning. I saw a snippet of him. He was on some local news channel talking about it. And yeah, I mean, I think he was just making more excuses. But, you know, that had to hurt.

I think it was Joe. Because at least, you know, there's the obvious physical pain of it. But you know, you could, you could just stand there and kind of take it and keep your mouth shut. I mean, repeatedly putting your foot in your mouth is just kind of embarrassing.

Yeah, I'd rather have the fresh Prince's open hand palm on my face than put my foot in my mouth, because that's what keeps you up at night.

Yeah, one hundred percent again. We've been talking about the Barbie movie for an entire year and its specific nuances and what it's about. And for it to get to that point, now, it's at the Oscars, it's being nominated, recognized on such a high level, and you're going to just reduce it again.

But the girls who get it, get it. Hi Barbie, we're sticking together and also Hi Ken. Ryan Gosling was also horrified.

A lot of people, it wasn't just the women in the realm, there's a lot of people that were just like.

Yeah, De Niro was like, like, you could just see, that was a really good impression. OK, I like that.

I was talking about this recently with a guy and he was asking me, like, what, like, what kind of pictures should you be sending a girl? I'm like, I personally haven't. I don't get a lot of them. I don't know, and the ones I've gotten are kind of made me, like, cringe a little, a little bit.

But when you got them, was it consensual or not, meaning did someone send it against your will or had you requested?

I, first of all, I've never requested a photo.

I request them because also, what do you ask?

Do you ask, you're like, I want a photo of this?

No, I don't, I don't specify appendage, I basically, I just ask for a nude.

I'm like, but this is what he was saying. He's like, they're just asking for a photo and I don't know what to say.

Obviously, I mean your dick if it's a guy, but I said, I typically don't have my face in it. And I'm, you know, and mine are like a little artsy. And it depends on how deep we are. And that what I'm going to send. And also I only send them to very special people, I mostly send them to my best friend. We've also discussed this.

Some of those guys, like, really know their angles.

I mean, obviously just like we do, but that's why I'm like, OK, what is there anything in proximity that I can use for scale?

There's those people on TikTok that can like, figure out how tall a guy is based on. Like some like random object that they're holding or something and they'll be able to figure out.

Totally, but I'm not an architect or a scientist, so I mostly....

But also, like, size sometimes doesn't matter.

Ok.

It doesn't.

Unless, unless. It's like, we don't lie to each other in this friendship.

Dana But unless it's like, you know, we're talking like a micro.

Well, that happened to me once, and it was.

Well, I'm saying, like, if it's in a picture, like if it looks like it's an average, you're great.

No, exactly. And that's the thing is. I feel like there's a lot of fear from men around that. And I do agree with you to an extent. There's also other things that very much make up for that for me.

You want to see what color sheets are?

The navy sheets with the stains like, Babe, that is not going to work for me.

How many pillows are on your bed?

How many pillows are on your bed? What is the condition? is that pillow from Goodwill from 1996??

Can I see inside the pillowcase?

Take the cover off, that's what I want to see.

Is the pillow white still?

Pants off, cover off.

Yeah.

That is going to tell me everything I need to know.

You need to make sure that your pillow itself is not yellow.

Do you send nudes?

Um, no, besides to me, not like, have you ever gotten any kind of nudes? yes.

You've sent.

I've shown you.

No, you texted me and Raleigh in a group chat. Yeah, you've sent, come on, what you've sent them.

I showed you.

Yeah, yours is I feel like yours are more suggested nudity.

Oh, for sure, yeah, it's like, yeah, but it's more like playboy nudity.

I have my ass out on Instagram and shit. So for me, it's like, okay, if I'm sending you a butt photo or whatever, and my face is never in it either. Or if it is just a little bit, I'm kind of like, Okay, are you going to expose me like whatever? And also that's illegal.

I've been like this completely naked in front of an entire camera crew on Vanderpump rules. So, like, it's for me to get like, shy about a photo that is from the neck down with like a bra like, come on.

Yeah, girl, I don't know, I personally love them. I think more men should send nudes.

You know what, I've never been sent like a dick pic, just like on, just open up my phone and be like, Oh, hello.

So I have.

I'm a little offended, like I feel like I don't want them, but I just want to know that someone, you know what I mean.

I mean, I would say, I take that back, more men shouldn't send them. Yes, I do know what you mean.

Please don't send them.

I want to know that they're there, I want more women to want them, because here's the thing. If you don't, that's totally fine. But I do think I would never send a nude if it wasn't like, warranted, like it was requested. Or you're leaning into it. So for some men, I've had that happen to me before, where it's like, all of a sudden I'm just looking at a dick and I'm like, I scream or throw my phone.

Should we answer some questions? yes.

I am so excited for this segment. We are going to be calling it WWDD. What would disrespectfully do love it? So, yes, we should so.

And if there's like a specific question or like specific advice. Sometimes it was just kind of like, I just felt like you were venting and I'm not really sure what you're getting at. Or if you needed advice. Or you just wanted to, like, Pillow talk with us, so like, short and sweet, but also like, So I'm wondering if I should do this or what you would, you know, I just I wasn't. It was a little hard to, like, sort of decipher what you were asking or what you need from us, right?

So please do those things.

So anyway, WWdD, let's get into it.

Oh, quick note, we're also we're just reading summaries because they were so long, so we're summarizing. But please, going forward, just keep it short and sweet.

Yeah, so we're going to summarize, OK, so X has been dating someone for two months now. He says that he wants to take things slow, but how long should I wait? how many months would you give him to make things official before ending it? I think you've kind of given it enough time to, like, naturally, progress into something.

I think it's hard to quantify, like you said, it's not like necessarily an exact amount of time. I think it's a feeling I would be curious to know how old this person is. Because, like, if you're 22, yeah, maybe you give it more time, but if you're in your 30s, 40s, whatever. And you know what you want and you've been spending this amount of time with someone.

This is kind of taking things slow after two months, wanting to take things to another level, or wanting exclusivity is still taking things slow. It's not proposing marriage, right? But I think also moving forward, I think it's always important to ask somebody right out of the gate, what are their intentions?

Yeah, and it's not just about what the other person wants or where they're at. I feel like this is more you need to trust your own intuition. Yeah.

Tell them what you want. I think you do have that conversation, you ask what somebody's intentions are when it comes to dating. Yeah, right away.

Right?

Does that make sense? Yeah, okay, all right, okay.

Second one, this person is 26 and goes to school in Hawaii. She came to California during her winter break to visit her family. And got with a guy she has gone to high school with. They really hit it off and talked a future together after school. But then she got drunk and called him 30 times and sent a bunch of texts. After sobering up, she apologized twice through text and didn't hear anything back.

You're going to have to take the L on this one.

Take the L you, you put him off, like, what, what? what is explaining yourself further? and also like, what is there?

But don't get down on yourself like, listen, like, like. We've all had those nights where, like, I don't know, we become possessed and things happen. I don't, I can't.

Oh, I've looked like Emily Rose a few times. I'm like, I need an actual exorcism, so yeah, I get it, but yeah, take the L. Learn from it. You know, this is if this was enough also to put him off, he's not your person and I totally feel for you.

Yeah, don't be too hard on yourself. Next question X is about to graduate college. What is the best advice you give for somebody who is about to enter a completely new phase in their life?

Totally, there's this speech that Steve Jobs gave. It was a commencement speech at Stanford, and I think it was like, 2004. Highly recommend this person and anyone looks the speech up, I listen to it all the time.

I think also your 20s, you're not meant to like, have it figured out. I think it's supposed to be a very exploratory time and just to figure out what you like, what you don't like. Kind of like just having fun like your 30s. Things start to click and come together.

I got an f for my 20s, I'm a plus for my 30s killing it, but 20s, yeah, so don't take it too seriously, okay?

Yeah, I mean, I think that person, you know, she's talked about him being like her best friend. And I know it can be so easy when it's comfortable. And you know, you think that, like, Okay, well, we have this history and we're comfortable and we're best friends. But why not just stay? Because, like, you know, I get it. The dating world is very scary and it can be very bleak and grim at times.

It's going to suck for a while, exactly. So you're like thinking about what it's costing you right now to be alone and that discomfort. But what is it going to cost you to stick with a person that sucks?

What was the biggest ache moment on VPR? Like, you need to close your eyes or skip through because it's too hard to watch.

Mine is so easy fat pussy.

Okay, phat.

With a P.H. So when we were talking about earlier that you don't have full context, that episode, we had actually filmed a open mic. Like, I was doing stand up that night. And I remember I had two vodka sodas before we sat down, which also tells you how deranged I was. I was still drinking vodka sodas.

Mine aren't usually, like any times were involved. Like being drunk on camera, like, yeah, like, I definitely got to a point where I'm like, I cannot be. I don't like to get like drunk in general. I just really try not to ever like, get to that point, period these days. But even back then, it's a very sobering thing to see yourself just sloppy and gross. Like, probably the season two when we're at Peter's birthday and I'm like, the whore in there.

I mean, one of the most valuable things that came out of the show for me was that mirror held up. Like, there was so many things about my life I didn't realize at the time. And it is a really sobering thing when you see yourself in a certain light and you're like, Huh, that's icky? I need to change that.

I don't want to be like that, I don't, let's not do that. No, yeah.

So don't say fat pussy on television, people, yes, anyway.

Anyhow?

I think that's a good place to end it. Please keep sending this in DisrespectfullyPod at gmail.com. We love hearing from you guys and want to keep doing these.

Yeah, until next week.

Until next week, happy birthday.

Thanks, girl.

Just love you so much.

Love you, ok?

Bye.

Bye.

Babe, you're going to see the power of women, like, disrespectfully.