Dungeons And Dragons Featuring Timm Woods

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Welcome to part of my take. Today is Friday, February 16th, and it's Dungeons and Dragons time. We are sitting right now with Tim Woods, Pft, Jake Hank and our good friend Nick.

TARANI Greg, thank you for having me back. With how many g's? Uh, two as as normal, okay?

Two g's with Greg. G-g-g-r-e-g. Yes, g-g-r-e-g. Yeah, we're, we're all dressed up.

Big Cat's wearing a helmet right now. I can't hear anything, I couldn't hear shit. Tim, you arrived in full costume today.

About this, you thought about bringing your sword on the plane? I did. I looked up whether TSA would accept foam swords. They do not.

That's a sword here. Nick just got from the Anus studio, so Tim, I'm also. I want you to get out of here on time and make your flight. I know it got delayed, but also I don't want you to get out of here too on time. Because I want you to have to get onto the plane wearing that full costume.

Oh yeah, 100. I think if it's necessary, I will board the plane dressed as a ranger.

So we're taping this in mid-January. If you are listening to this right now, you should also watch it. Because we're on the green screens again. So we're going to do all the graphics, the full immersion, and Tim is going to take us through an entire adventure. Let's first start with everyone saying what they're dressed as, and then we'll start with Tim taking us down the path. Okay, so Jake, what are you dressed as?

And what? are you dressed as Cake? The Elven Wizard? Oh, okay, hell yeah, absolutely.

One of the old cartoons like the Mickey Mouse, you know what I'm talking about, the Fantasia.

The Fantasia Brooms The Brooms of the Prentice Pastor Reuben stuttered one of their theme parks.

Used to have a giant blue hat? Okay, so Greg Nick, I'm Greg the Paladin, and I'm dressed as George.

Washington.

Look, thank you what Megan did? your makeup? She did. yeah, she did a really good job.

I love it. Whole ass animated Tim, what are you dressed as I am going to be the dungeon master?

But I'm dressed in my Ranger fit courtesy of Felonfare, my larping group that I larp with, and this is my favorite costume. Hell yes, with the cloak. It is, I think, a good dungeon master type fit right here. Okay, how big is a larping entourage?

They do the entire battles and stuff, huge battles. It sounds like we should do this.

We should absolutely do this summer. All right, I am norm, the human barbarian, I'm dressed as a firefighter, gay firefighter.

They go hand in hand. Yeah, exactly, we should do the next one as the village people, yes.

We should. Yeah, the helmet, I had the helmet on, I couldn't hear anything, so now I got the bucket hat. A little bit of a Chris Christie vibe.

Who was that guy? The Eagles drafted? well, pretty much that guy. Are you talking about Tony Danza, the kicker? No? Max? Who was the firefighter that you guys took in the first round that retired?

After like, two seasons.

Something Irish, Okay, hank, I am ehrlich. The eyes wide shut. Warlock Whoa, yeah, oh yeah.

You should have shaved and put on a fake beard, we don't have-.

That's the same length as yours. Yeah, okay, so Tim, take us away.

Now I do also just want to say, in honor of all of the weapons and stuff that we brought. It's just occurring to me right now and I won't forget. I'm going to give each of us one magic item for everything that we have here. For Ehrlich, the warlock. For the needler, I'm going to be giving you a wand of magic missile. It looks exactly like the needler. Just fires. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew little missiles at enemies. I'm giving you Norm, the barbarian armor of fire resistance, yes.

I forgot one thing before we start truth, of course.

We're in this together, I don't plan on killing any of you.

I don't want to kill anyone. Team first, I want to put out fires. Team, the team, the team.

Yeah, I'm excited.

Truth, of course.

Wow, okay.

It's cool that Hank got a weapon that shoots needles and Jake got robes.

Jake I'm so sorry. I didn't see any swords or anything, so I did the best I could.

You pretty much told Jake like, you're wearing a condom all the time.

Protection is very important. Absolutely now. I do want to say that it has been so cool this year, getting to run so many games for the awls who have reached out to me. And I know I got to say in advance. I did promise all the awls that the adventure that I've been running for them all year was going to be the next adventure I would run for you guys. Except that something happened this year that is very big in the D&D community. We had our biggest video game ever come out. Baldur's Gate 3..

I trust you, I love that.

Absolutely 100. It's going to be a little bit different and I don't think anyone here has played Baldur's Gate 3. But I did do a poll on Twitter. And apparently a lot of awls and awls I've run games for are definitely big fans of this game. So I think they're going to like some of the references.

Can we go back to calling them owls?

Owls, The owls.

So Baldur's Gate, the video game, comes out in terms of the community.

Everybody's talking about it. I'd say it's bigger than D&D itself right now, it has gotten so big.

Bigger than the game.

And it's all based off of the D&D rules. So it's literally the exact same game just played on a computer, and I cannot recommend it enough. It's the best job they've done, taking the game we know and love and turning it into a video game experience. It's made it so easy. Because now I go into games and a lot of people are like, I do healing word. And I'm like, tearing my eye out, like, Yes, you do, you know it from the game, so it's kind of cool.

And the soundtrack rocks, too, right?

Oh, it's very good, it has an amazing soundtrack, great characters, we may even meet some of them. It is also a very sexy game. it is a horny game in the extreme, and I can't recommend it enough 100%.

Oh, live action.

Yeah, absolutely.

Jake, I like your robes.

Absolutely, they're going to come in handy, maybe who knows, they prevent diseases as well.

What those wooden teeth do?

My first turn, I'm jerking off.

Absolutely.

George Washington would give the worst blowjob.

Yo, he'd pop the teeth out.

That's true, yeah, wooden teeth, gummy it up.

What president would suck the best dick?

James Madison.

Yeah, definitely.

Well, no, what about?-?

Silver Tongue, Lyndon B. Johnson.

Wouldn't it be Reagan, because he's been taught by the best? Oh yeah.

I think he's the best at getting hit. Well, maybe Clinton.

Yeah.

Okay, go ahead.

Absolutely 100%.

Actually, Obama, right? Yeah, oh yeah, I saw the Tucker Carlson interview. Yeah, yeah.

Larry Sinclair.

Now, our adventure today is going to begin in a different spot than usual. We are already in the middle of the action because we have been abducted.

What?

In the world of D&D, our last memories are that we were just in our local city, having a good time, maybe leaving a bar or something like that. And then suddenly, in the sky above the city, as people began screaming and pointing up, we saw a giant ship of some kind hurtling through the air above us. It looks like a giant nautilus, like those underwater creatures, with tentacles that kind of form like a spiral shell. And as this ship moves through the air, tentacles are coming down out of it as they reach down towards people. Everyone who gets touched by one of the tentacles just vanishes.

Sounds like a smiley face killer.

Absolutely, suddenly we are waking up in some sort of glass tube. Each of us is aware that these tubes seem to be embedded in the wall of a giant flying vessel of some kind. We can feel ourselves moving through space, and it seems as though the walls of this ship are biological. It's giving us very like xenomorph alien vibes.

Wait, so we're in test tubes.

We are in test tubes.

Are we in one tube or are we in separate tubes?

Great question. We're in Wuhan, China. You can see your companions in other tubes as you're waking up, each of you is in your own tube.

Are they liquid-filled tubes?

They're not liquid-filled. Such a good question. Oh, that is a good question, absolutely.

I think we've got to get out of these tubes.

Absolutely.

Or is there a way where we can try to figure out who is in the other tubes?

You certainly can. In the other tubes, without even getting out of your tube, you can clearly see there are six other tubes. Three of them are filled with. There are three men, three women in the other tubes. Who are you most curious about right now?

Yeah, Pft. Which one are you most interested in?

I'm interested in the guys.

Yes, 100. Who do you care about? You are aware that of the three guys in test tubes, one of them is clearly a wizard of some sort, wearing wizard robes and a hat. He's a human, but otherwise looks very similar to Cake. There is another one who is dark-skinned and seems....

P. Carroll.

What about the chicks?

The chicks are.

Slow down on this one, absolutely.

First of all, everyone here is super sexy, all six of the Test Tube people, they're all super hot, and even the ones with low charisma. And so the Elven Woman first woman has a long black braid that is all bound up, going almost down to her waist. If I may.

Yes, dibs boys.

Okay, all right, that was fast.

She seems to be wearing the robes of a cleric of some kind. Oh, nice, you got a nun, too, you got a nun.

Damn dude, you're gonna have to go to church.

Now, however, if anybody wants to, who's looking at her? You can make a religion check to see if you can figure out what God does she follow. What God or Goddess? Because there's Gods of like, you know, as we would know them, but there's also Gods of war, there's Gods of death, there's all kinds of different Gods.

How interested are you in this chick?

She's a sex god.

You don't want to know what God she worships.

No, no, I don't want to learn about a chick's past, man.

You think she's saving herself for marriage?

Definitely, damn.

Yeah, we don't care what God.

Absolutely no worries.

Still one God, yeah.

Next Woman is a red-skinned woman with huge black horns growing out of her head. She is a big, muscly woman, very clearly a barbarian. Similar to norm, she also seems to have fire coming out of her head and, like racing, all over her skin.

All right dibs, it's all you bro.

Absolutely.

Well, I'm taking her for a-rod, I'll give her a-rod.

Absolutely, the final woman is not an elf, she has pointy ears and sort of greenish skin. And we are able to recognize it, especially the people with high arcana, like our wizard and Warlock. That this is a race called a Gith, or Githyankai, as they are sometimes called among themselves. They are, in theory, people who come from another world, entirely, a warrior race. So while she's not as big as the red-skinned, horned woman, she is clearly some kind of warrior.

Are they real or not real?

Sorry.

Real or not real?

The people in the test tubes, they seem very real, just as real as us. They're starting to wake up a little bit.

Are they firm, are they supple?

Oh yeah, they're very muscular, very tight, tiny, petite, I would say the Elven woman with the braid is a little petite.

Big woman Okay, I like that.

Want to get out of these tubes?

Yeah, let's get out of these tubes.

Absolutely, who would like to try to get out of the tubes first? In theory, I'm wondering what strategy you would want to use?

Yeah, let's go in order.

Absolutely, now, how are you trying to get out of the tube? Doesn't seem like there's any way to open it from inside, but obviously you could try something. You do have a wand of magic missile.

Is there anyone outside of the tubes that are keeping us inside?

Great question. The only things we see outside the tube are there is some sort of big basin in the middle of this circular room and one door of sorts. And as you're looking, it looks like a door out of this room, but there's no handle on it. And it's a shape that weirds you out until you realize you've seen shapes like this before, it's a sphincter door.

Oh, wait, I have a question before you go, Hank, I'm the strongest one here, right?

Yes, that is true.

Could I break out of my own tube?

As well as the paladin.

Could I break out of my own tube then break my boys out?

Yes, you absolutely could. Should we do that now? I would let you....

You're just trying to impress the chick.

I was going to ask to do an inside check to see if I can sneak out of the tube. To get you guys out. Discreetly, because what if you breaking out wakes up the alarm?

Okay, all right, yeah, let's do that, yeah.

But just for the record, Big Cat could.

I could break it out, but you don't want me to, that's fine.

I probably could, too.

I don't know, I don't think you can break all of them.

You have a wand of magic, missiles and other attack spells you could try here. In terms of physical strength, it's norm first, and then Greg the Paladin right after that.

But let's keep it low-key. We don't know who put us in these tubes.

Yeah, try your sneaky way, do some finesse, offense. I'll play man football.

Insight would be the skill for reading someone else's expressions and motives. If you're trying to do something sneaky, that would be stealth, unfortunately, I don't know if there is a sneaky way that you can do this. There doesn't seem to be any lock that you're seeing. But you could try to do a sleight of hand check to look for handholds to push this open. Potentially do you have the sleight of hand skill, by any chance, under your skills?

Is his character much of a reader?

Yeah.

A little bit, not so much as cake.

He doesn't do anything great.

He makes infernal deals very well.

What's the old saying you're only as strong as your weakest link? Oh, weakest link? Okay, go ahead.

All right, I'll bust out, let me bust out.

Absolutely. Are you trying to bust out with your fists? are you trying to look for handholds?

Eldritch Blast.

Eldritch Blast I love it Roll 2D20s You fire off two Eldritch blasts.

That would be a two.

Oh, that first one is just kind of ricochet around.

That'll be a one.

Oh, what a blast.

The first beam ricochets all around the test tube and doesn't break it open. The second one also ricochets around the test tube and then hits you.

You just hurt yourself, bro.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, hey guys, is it okay if I go first?

Ehrlich, good attempt.

What is happening now? Wait.

Now, that's his turn.

Okay, so I will break myself out and break everyone else out, but a question like, If I'm breaking Ehrlich out, is that going to hurt him more?

Potentially, if you were to, for example, get a one, somebody could get hurt.

All right, so why don't I break me out and then I'll get the three of them and then we'll decide.

Because you called a truce with Hank, so you don't want to hurt him.

I don't want to hurt him so we might leave him in the tube.

Absolutely.

I might not make it out of this tube.

Now, if you.

Oh, you could use your blast.

Hey, you're out of your blast, man.

Do you try an athletic trick?

How many sperm have said exactly that?

Picture whatever D20 you feel is luckiest. Okay, these dice right here. Absolutely, that's a good one and I'm going to....

You would have said that for any.

For sure, for sure.

Yeah, absolutely, I feel good.

Absolutely, you do think that if you were to rage, you would get advantage on this roll. I would let you rage against even though there's no enemies, I would let you rage against this tube.

Okay.

Well, that's not fair, but.

That looks like a 12 to me, and then you roll one more time, just see if you do any better than a 12. Good roll. Okay, 18, okay.

Which one did you have dibs on?

Black braid dude.

Oh, don't cut me while I'm in the tube. I played Baldur's Gate 3 Multiplayer, and Dibs is very important for romancing.

So can, if, hypothetically speaking, Tim I were to break out black braids? The other gentlemen in the tube, they can see everything that's happening, right?

Yes, they're all waking up, everybody can see what you're doing, yep.

Okay.

I'm supposed to be an escape from reality.

As a team player, I'm going to break out Ehrlich and Greg.

Absolutely, thank you.

Absolutely ehrlich, you get broken.

Wait, no, no, sorry, sorry. Oh, who's that I'm, Wayne?

That seems right.

I was never breaking out, ehrlich.

Absolutely, you force open the test tube that has Wayne and Greg. Was it absolutely 100 Greg? Washington? You two are, or you three now are free.

Fuck yes, boys.

Absolutely.

Have a little fun.

Yeah.

Can we put cake in the same tube as Ehrlich? What?

You would have to open up his tube and his tube to do that, as far as you can tell. Unless you have a magic spell that allows you to teleport, but that's a fifth level spell, you don't have that yet.

Okay, all right, so it's me and the boys right now.

It is you and the boys right now, we're all the boys.

I think I might. Should I just get the girls out like, that's good?

You might want to get Jake out too, because we could use him to maybe.

Yeah, I mean, you guys need protection, scare the ho.

No, but you always need.

It's your highest level spell.

He's a perfect wingman.

All right, I'll let Jake out, I'll let Cake out.

Absolutely, how would you like to get his tube open? Are you just using your muscles or are you trying something else?

Let's see I'm looking at, I have sleight of hand.

You do have sleight of hand, I would let you, especially from outside, it's easier, you can pick the lock from outside, go ahead and roll a D20 plus your sleight of hand.

The one with 20 on it.

I'll watch for this truce.

My name's ehrlich.

With a one, I am sorry to say.

I'm sorry, Jake.

I try to force open this tube and you pull and you're like, you're like picking it, you're trying to, like, force it open and you give it another yank. And you actually stumble backwards toward the big basin of weird goo in the middle of the room. As you're tumbling towards it, you realize something it has things swimming around in it. I would like you to make another roll.

It's a bunch of goo filled with little tiny tadpole.

Little tiny tadpole I would let you real quick just make a history check to see if any memories are coming back, O.K. as you look at these tadpoles.

It's called the spank.

It is viscous this goo, what did you? nine? this one? nine?

Plus four.

OK with a plus four and nine with a 13. You suddenly get a flash of memory, and anyone here on their turn can make another history check to try to remember more. You suddenly get a memory of when you were in the tube, somebody opening up your tube and you were like, No, no, give me five more minutes, and they, like, grabbed you.

I was pregnant.

And you have just freed cake, cake, you are out out.

All the boys are out.

Oh, sorry you, you sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You tumbled and did not manage to not fall into the tadpoles.

I tried to get you in tube open.

Who would like to go next? No joke. I think I might have a cane sauce problem. I was raising canes the other day, getting my box combo with extra sauce on the side. Like usual, I have an order.

I think we'll just keep going down the line.

Boys, I think we're bugged, I think there's something behind our eye.

Would you like to make a history check?

I would love to make a history check.

What do I roll for that? It'd be a D20, and as a paladin, you would have a plus three. that's the D20 bingo right there. 19..

It's the vaccine.

Around it, it's a metaphor.

Motherfucker, they microchipped us.

You also get a memory of who did this. A figure looking you dead in the eyes, a squid-like head with two eyes, a big sort of cranium dome and four tentacles hanging down. Is he Italian?

Yes, he's short Italian.

This is not an Italian. You think that this with that history check is a creature in the world of D&D who creates biological flying ships. Known as a mind flayer, mind flayers are one of the most dangerous and well-known monsters in the D&D universe.

In stranger things, exactly.

So Jake, thank you. They are the villain in Stranger Things, and they are also one of the big villains in D&D. You know that in D&D, mind flayers tend to be more humanoid-sized creatures, but still have amazing mental powers of mind control. You also know that tadpoles are how they reproduce, They insert tadpoles into other people and turn them into mind flayers.

Man, we're turning into mind flayers.

We are turning into mind flayers.

Can I do something right now?

You can, absolutely.

I'm going to rip out my eyeball.

Ooh, yes, go ahead and roll me.

Wait, rip out mine too.

Can I rip out his, too?

Who would you like to try first?

Wait, but would we not see after that?

In theory, if you got one, you know you'll get disadvantage on ranged attacks due to lack of depth perception. Okay, all right.

I'll keep my eyeball.

I'm ripping out my eye.

Absolutely, I would like you, first of all, to make a wisdom saving throw to see if you can do this without flinching.

Okay, what do I roll for that?

A D20 and you get to add plus four to this.

11.

11 plus five is a 16.

I'm using one of my two daggers.

Oh, you take one of your magic daggers, that's going to be an extra plus one on that.

Do the chicks see?

The chicks do see.

You see them like, Oh, oh, oh.

And the priestess with the braid? She's just like, Oh, avoiding her eyes, the big, red-skinned woman with the horns is like, Oh, she's looking and she's giving you the thumbs up right now.

Works every time.

The Gith woman is just nodding and very impressed with you. Your eye pops out and we can see as you look around, a little wiggling tail behind your eye. Now I'm going to tell you one other thing is occurring to you. You do think that with that history, check as it. Oh, better yet, it wiggles in your mind, you can feel it moving, and you hear a voice suddenly in your mind.

Stop, leave me alone.

I can offer you power.

You do love power, I love power.

I could give you the power over others.

Well, let's be careful what George Washington said.

Mind control Yeah, I like mind control.

Your mind is being controlled, you can feel and they can see. The tail of the tadpole is starting to disappear into your brain. You have a choice do you try to get it out now, or do you let it go?

Who has the smallest hands of the group?

That would be ehrlich, but he's in a tube.

Damn.

Right, and then does nothing come from it? I got to pull out this tadpole.

Absolutely, you can go for it. Roll me another D20 to try to pull out the tadpole.

So wait, I just might be eyeless with the tadpole still.

You might.

One.

Absolutely.

You reach in and you're like digging around in there. First of all, I didn't give you damage for just ripping out your eye. That'd be a whole D12 right there, 12 points of damage.

Got a lot of self-inflicted wounds going on.

The boys are going through it.

You see all the people in the test tubes just like, Oh, oh, like, one of them starts like gagging a little bit. The very pale elf man is just like, Oh goodness, and he, like, averts his eyes. It's pretty grisly.

What do the chicks think?

The chicks, actually, both the Tiefling woman with red skin and the Gith woman are both like. And they kind of look at each other and they're like, Are you seeing this?

It's very I just embarrass myself.

The two of them are very impressed, they really like it. Yeah, the Priestess not so much. She's pretty grossed out.

You know, I want to be a team player and get our full team out of the tube.

Absolutely.

What do you guys don't want me to do?

No, I want you to come out, you'll figure it out.

No.

All right.

Now I would say you do have not many skills that would get people out of tubes, but you do have a knock spell which would open one door automatically.

Can we kill the bad people?

Sorry.

Can we kill the bad people?

In theory, you know that there are six other people in tubes, you don't know if they're good or bad. You know that there's all these weird tadpoles in the middle of the room in this basin, and there is a sphincter door leading out of here. You know that this ship must be controlled by evil mind flayers, but you don't see any of them right now.

So let's get out of this area.

Absolutely 100. As you start to do, you start to head for the sphincter door.

Yeah.

He's not out of his tube yet.

Oh, I'm sorry, so cake.

Oh, I'm not out.

You do have one spell that could open up your tube if you want to cast that. Otherwise, you can try to force it open, but that would be very difficult to do.

Yeah, I don't think I'm strong enough for that.

Absolutely, so you cast the knock spell. Is that right? after all? is that right?

I don't see that.

I'm giving you the knock spell because I forgot to give you that, and that would be a spell you would definitely have as a wizard. So you, in theory, you're seeing all of them really working hard to force these doors open. You just cast a spell. We all just see his test tube opens on its own.

I'm saying, I'm better than you, I'm getting through this door.

Absolutely, as you think that thought, suddenly it opens up, almost like responding to your thought. You can see in the next room, there is another sphincter door beyond, and there is a humanoid figure lying on a table whose head has been cut open and their scalp removed. Their brain is exposed right now.

Question Does this humanoid figure have any extra eyes?

They do not. No, this is a human.

We need to get me an eyeball.

We need to find you an eye. I'm so sorry.

They have two eyes.

Oh, okay, you can take one of them.

And they're alive, as best you can tell.

Is the one I removed from surgery destroyed beyond repair?

I would say, So, yeah.

How would you describe Erlich's eyes? Are they really good? Are two of his eyes beautiful?

You have to open me up.

Actually, he has an ability as a warlock called Devil Sight, that lets him see in magical darkness and can see farther than anybody else.

I want those eyes.

Actually, I want those eyes, real bad, absolutely.

Help me.

Help me.

It seems like you think that telepathic voice is coming from the body, but it's not moving at all this body. And that was you breaking out with your action and moving into here, Erlich, that would bring us around to you again.

Let's go Hank.

Let's just reset real quick, let's figure out what's going on here. Because our minds are being controlled by some sort of tadpole, right? So we're all like zombies right now. So what's the goal?

I would like to get the tadpole out of my mind, I don't want to be a sheep controlled by the big tadpole like these fellows.

Oh, no, he got.

Oh no, you got burrowed in deeper.

Yeah, I would like to get the tadpole out, absolutely.

As you start to think that thought, your tadpole speaks up, Oh, but you, you're someone who likes power. I can offer you control, I can offer you. Mind reading. It is trying to tempt you, that much is clear.

That didn't work out for me last time, I just get it out.

Absolutely 100. How are you going to try to get it out?

Can I a light crossbow?

You could shoot a crossbow into your own eye that would probably destroy the tadpole, but it could hurt him, destroy your brain, most likely.

No, wait, but there's another brain in that other room. If it gets damaged, it's backup. Your first move's going to be suicide.

I do like how you just said, light crossbow.

Yeah, give it a shot, that's the heaviest crossbow.

I mean, that's the thing. Yeah, definitely.

Give it a shot, Hank.

Second move, he tried to shoot his way out, it hit him in the ass and then he's like, I might as well shoot myself, then it's over.

Give it a shot, Hank.

Boy, you don't have a knock spell like the Wizard would, unfortunately.

I don't really know what to do here.

I can't go over two, I'm trying to get out.

Absolutely.

Can I persuade it out of my mind?

You can try that if you would like.

You sounded pretty encouraging there. I'm going to do that.

Go ahead and roll a D20 Plus 5.

16.

16 plus 5 is a 21.

Yeah, leave.

Absolutely leave.

Go back to your home.

With a 21, it begins to laugh at you. At first, you can't make me go anywhere. I'm burrowing deeper and deeper into your mind. The only one who could get me out is the person who put me here now. He didn't need to tell you that.

Can I ask who put me here?

Don't you know that already, don't you remember? And then he feeds the memories back into your mind, the memories you had forgotten, the mind flayer, the tentacle-mouthed creature that was holding a tadpole. And you saw it right before it went into your mind. It was like, looking up at you, like, Yes, let me at.

Can I ask where he is?

He'll even tell you that in like a mocking way, he says. Trying to fly the ship right now, it seems, and then we feel the ship bump and he goes. But it sounds like someone is making it a little difficult for him. And it seems like the ship is under attack in some capacity, as best you can tell.

Who is? who are these other guys in the tube?

Oh, interesting, yeah, who? Just other adventurers who have been picked up in your city. Who are you most curious about?

The red red skin.

The red skin, absolutely the mind, Flayer says. Just, or, say, the tadpole in your head says, just give me a moment, and suddenly you feel your mind connect with the red skinned Tiefling woman. Now you're a gnome who made a deal with devils.

And I can talk to her.

She looks at you and you know, she just got some of your memories as well. She connects with you and she goes, and you know that she's signaling that, like, you know about devils, same as me. And in fact, it may be that your patron is also her boss. She fights for the generals of the Nine Hells, and your boss, Might, is almost definitely one of the generals.

So we have a lot in common.

You have a lot in common 100, and she waves at you kind of like, very excited.

All right, so good turn hank. You're still in the tube and you still have a reptile in your brain.

Yeah, you met, you met a dumb chair.

Absolutely, that would be your dice roll now and the but you did not agree to leave, you don't think you had to, unfortunately. And first choice. That is going to bring us to norm.

What are we thinking, boys? What are we thinking?

We got to get up the front of the ship, I think, right?

I think so.

Sphincter's already open, right?

Sphincter's open We can see the next room, we can just go right through this room to the next sphincter door, or we can. There's a voice that only Cake heard, and there is a visible corpse with its head sawed open.

Should we get a cup of goo, just in case?

Yeah, get a cup of goo. So then what would we want to take? Should we let Hank, should we let him out?

So he's, Yeah, I feel bad for him.

Will it waste my turn if I let him out?

It would be your action for this turn. Yeah, you know what, I'll let it be your bonus. Actually, it can be your bonus action because you're raging already. Yeah, so this way you can do a frenzied attack with your bonus action. You'll still have another dice roll.

Okay, and what do I need to get to get him out?

You just need a 15 or higher and you have advantage on this still, so you get to roll two times and you have a plus seven.

Higher man, I hope.

You can get an eight or higher on the die.

I hope I get an eight.

Four, No, but you have his second roll if you want.

Does he have to?

He doesn't have to. No, 100%.

But wait, if he wastes this action, we can't get a cup of goo.

No, you'll still be able to. This is all just the bonus action.

All right, so I need an eight or higher.

Ah, I got a 17.

That is absolutely 100. You are able to boom yank this open, you remember that now because you got a 24. I would also let you open one or even two other tubes if you want at least one.

Well, he's got mind control with the red skin, right?

He's got a mind connection going on.

COMMANDER Sorry, yeah, we can use the devil. Okay, well, let's get her out. And then who else?

What about Greg's chick?

No, oh.

She doesn't really fuck with me anymore after the eyeball situation.