#2158 - Harland Williams

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Oh, I think I've known you for 30 years. You know how crazy that is?

31.

I think you're making this up.

Well.

I think you're making this up. He's making this up. I was like, hold on, let's see how this goes. Yeah, as soon as you were saying he's got a memory like the lady from Taxi, I was like,

I just couldn't even remember her name.

That lady's got a crazy memory. She does. She can tell you, like, dates in 1972, what day it was.

Dude, I bumped into her at a sushi joint once, and she reenacted the day I lost my virginity. It's unbelievable. Wow. She remembered it.

How does she know?

Because it was her. No, it was her.

Oh, really? Yeah.

She popped my cherry.

She was hot back in the day.

She drove my taxi. Ooh. Yeah.

She acted as your depot.

Wait, what's her name? Mary Lou Retina?

No.

What is it?

It's close.

Mary Lou Iris?

No. Cornea.

Cornea. Yeah. Mary Lou Cornea.

Where was her name?

Retin.

Retin? No, that's the gymnast.

She's the gymnast.

That's the gymnast. What was her name?

Was it Marlee Matlin? That's the deaf chick.

Yeah. That's the one that everybody had to pretend was really good at acting.

But she did win an Oscar, didn't she? Mary Lou Henner. Yeah. Oh, she did the tampon commercial.

Did she?

Yeah. And who better to do them than a tumbler?

They get guys to do them now.

Yeah.

It's a new world.

Yeah.

Yeah. There she is. Back in the day when she was on taxi, she was hot. But you can't ever lie to her.

Yeah, she knows everything.

You didn't. even, you're like, I didn't say that. Like, not only did you say that, you were wearing this.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, she just knows it all.

Yeah.

Unbelievable.

That's probably a real issue in relationships. Yeah. You can't, you can never argue with her about who is right.

She remembers it. Yeah.

100%. You got a foggy ass, bullshit, normal human. Like, how good's your memory? My memory's not that good.

Maybe she's an elephant.

I don't think their memory's that good.

They say they are.

Yeah, but like shit that you would remember too.

Right. Like, how often do you watch one of those nature shows and you see like elephants wandering around aimlessly and you know they're looking for their car. Because they can't remember where they parked.

Idiots. Imagine if elephants could drive, that would be a real problem. How big would their fucking car be? How big would their roads have to be? Wow.

Yeah.

They'd be like, what the fuck are you doing over there? Like, we wouldn't be cool with chimps fastening their own weapons. If they started making guns, if chimps started smelting iron, like figuring out ballistics, you see chimps on the range. Yeah. You're like, hey, hey, hey, only us.

Yeah. Well, isn't that what Planet of the Apes is all about? They evolved to the point where...

Wasn't the new one like experiments? Wasn't it like some kind of experiments? On how it kicked off? Like, back in the day, it was like a time machine thing. Like, they went, right?

Yeah, the first one.

There's a time machine and you go forward in time and you realize like, oh my God, the apes are now humans.

Yeah, they landed so far in the future on Earth. You know who wrote that one? Rod Serling.

Rod Serling was like, oh, did he really?

Yeah, from Twilight Zone. He was the fucking man. He was way ahead of his time.

With everything.

Genius.

So many good episodes. You go back to watch the Twilight Zone, it's like, no production value, no money for special effects. Incredible show.

And that's what was part of their charm, but the music, everything worked. And if you look at a lot of modern day movies, they were predicated on those old shows. Like Chucky. There's an old episode with Telly Savalas. Talkie Tina.

Look at that.

There she is, Talkie Tina. You know what my favorite one was?

To Serve Man.

Oh yeah, it's a cookbook. Yeah. And then Juliet Childs walks out of the UFO. Yeah. Hello everybody, we're going to serve your children.

What did the aliens look like on To Serve Man? It was very bizarre.

Yeah, they had giant bulbous heads.

Yeah, there it is.

Yeah. They looked like Herman Munster, without the hair.

Look how bad this fucking makeup is.

You can see where it's glued to his cheek.

You can see everything, he's so shitty. You could do better than that in a high school musical.

Speaking of human cookbooks. I have a buddy who just had a kid,

I don't think it's actually eating your own kid. I think it's eating the nutrients that provide nourishment to the kid while it's in the womb. It's not, you're not eating the kid. The kid is separate from the placenta. It is?

Oh, I thought it was covered. like, you know, when a gazelle drops its baby on the Kalahari, and it like licks all that film off it? Isn't that placenta? Or is that just like a pasta sauce? Just like carbonara?

I think that is placenta, right? I mean, it probably must be.

So isn't that what human kids have?

But it's not the kid itself. It's the nutrients that the kid was consuming while they were in the womb, I believe. Obviously. I'm not a doctor. Is this one going to drop it?

It literally doesn't get its first bleat out. It lifts its head, and then, bong, it's gone.

That's one of the things that people have to be very aware about in North America. What? Bears. What bears are doing to deer and moose, it's the same thing. If you really love deer and moose and elk and stuff like that, half of those animals' babies get eaten by bears.

Yeah.

Half of the babies that come out.

Half. Half.

It's a good thing in a good ecosystem.

To cull the herd.

It's not even just to cull the herd. That's what they're there for. It's a system. We look at it like it's this beautiful thing, because it is beautiful. You see these animals in the wild and nature, but what it is, it's a system.

It's a whole system, and it trickles down right to the vegetation and the ecosystem. You know this. If they remove the wolves, then the elk and caribou herds expand, and they start eating all the growth on the riverbanks, causing erosion. The river is flat. So you have to have those predators.

If they were eating half, we would be overrun by deer and elk. You'd have a situation where you have, like in New Zealand, where they have to fly over the hills and just gun them down.

Moose in New Zealand?

New Zealand's a wild place, literally. There's gnomes. It's beautiful, so beautiful.

Elves.

They got there in, I get the 1700s or something like that, maybe the 1800s, and these European settlers, these European explorers are like, this place is so beautiful, but it doesn't have any things for us to kill. Why don't we bring in a bunch of wild animals from Europe that we like to kill? And so they turned it into a wild game safari park for hunting.

Jeez-oo.

Yeah, so there's all these animals, like stags and all these different kinds of deer, all these animals that are not supposed to be in New Zealand. They're everywhere. It's overwhelming. Like if you buy elk, like if you go to a restaurant and you buy elk tenderloin, most likely that elk is coming from New Zealand.

No. Yeah. There's elk in New Zealand?

A lot of elk in New Zealand. And they probably are allowed to consider stag elk too. I don't think they would. That's a good question. I don't know.

Yeah.

It's really fucking cool.

And when they mate, the male elks, do that whistle. They'll, woo, you know that. Sounds like they're playing a piccolo. Listen to this.

What a weird noise.

Yeah.

Oh yeah, they jizz all over themselves.

Wow.

I've seen elk do it where they just piss all over themselves while they're screaming. They're screaming. Elks are even cooler. Give me an elk bugle. Elk bugle, I think, is the coolest sound in the world.

Oh, me?

Bro, if you didn't know, if you didn't know, if you were in the dark and you were in camping and you heard an elk bugle and you didn't know what that was, you'd think, oh my God, there's monsters out here.

Yeah. Yeah, there it is.

Couldn't you imagine that being a monster?

Yeah.

It's sort of like an instrument.

Imagine if it's dark out. You hear that? Yeah. You're like, fuck!

Yeah.

It's demons!

Yeah, that's kind of haunting and scary.

That's the greatest animal.

And then they go into, the big cats, go into a flemming. You know this?

Flemming?

I ran into problems with girlfriends because of this. It's like when the female lions or the leopards, they get ripe. You know what I mean? Ready to party.

Yeah, let's go.

The lions and the cheetahs, they do this thing where they smell the female scent and they do this thing where they curl their lip up. Yeah. And it's like a sexual thing. And for some reason, I don't know why, but I do that when I'm about to get into some lovemaking.

You do a little bit of that? Do you embody the lion?

I don't know. I just have the thing. You feel it? And they never stick around. Yeah.

Flemming response takes place when one lion of either sex sniffs or smells the urine of another. Chemicals and hormones contained in the urine elicit the flemming response, usually after smelling the urine patch on the ground or vegetation. The cat is doing the smelling, will lift his or her head and hold their lips back in a strong grimace. Let me see it.

Yeah. Like that. That's just like him, look. I got to start dating girls that wipe, I guess. Look at that face.

Imagine looking at that right before it fucking closes down on your neck. And go, oh yeah, I'm not getting out of this. There is fucking no escape. There's no hip escape. There's no jujitsu move.

I had a moment when I was on safari in Africa, where it's the only time in my life I started shaking. We were on a private Land Rover. We came up on two male lions that had just made a kill. We were literally, probably, I'd say, 25 feet from them. And one of them got up.

That is such bullshit.

So we got the guy driving from our camp. And this thing, one of them got up, walked halfway to us, and just did that burning stare with its golden eyes.

Oh, my God.

And I was holding my hand. Because it was one of the few times in my life I felt like I was in death's door. Like that lion could have been on me in two seconds. And it was terrifying but exhilarating at the same time.

How do they know that the lions won't jump into the cab and pull people out?

They get acclimated to these kind of clunky things. Look, believe me, I know nature's unpredictable.

How much trust do you have to have?

Well, I said to our driver, he was parked in front of a stump. I said to him, I said, dude, I know you do this every day. Get away from the stump. We need to have an exit strategy.

Yeah.

And so he goes, oh, we'll be fine. I said, no, move from the stump. Because nature, you don't know when nature's going to do that.

Did you know that it was going to be an open air thing?

Yeah, yeah.

And you were cool with that?

Yeah, it's beautiful. But I didn't know we were going to come up on two male lions that were in the middle of eating a wildebeest and be the only ones there and like 25 feet away. And one of them was going to shorten the distance by half.

Oh, God. Was this, before or after, the lady from Game of Thrones who was the video editor? She was one of the video editors of Game of Thrones. She got pulled out of a car by a lion.

Oh, she did? Well, there you go. There's your answer. Yeah, it can happen.

I think it was a different situation, though. I don't think they were acclimated to the open air ones. Because in this one, it was cars. And she rolled her window down to reach out to take a picture. And the cat just snatched her.

Idiot.

It's like a toy. I mean, you're basically rolling a piece of yarn. If a cat sees a thing that he couldn't get, but now he can get it, their instinct is just to get it. Even if they never would do that, if the windows were rolled down from the beginning, the moment they see you peeking out, you're basically dangling.

Oh, is this a video of it? No, it's just a picture.

This is how it happened? Oh, God. That's so horrible, man. Oh, my God. Look how big that thing is.

So I was in Florida once. And I was doing a gig, like, on one side of Florida and had to cross over to the other side. Whoa. And in between...

Were you walking?

No, no, no. Daddy had a... Here's where it got clunky, right? I rented a convertible, right? Oh, boy.

And you drove through in a convertible?

No, so I pulled up, and they said, Sir, you can't go through with a convertible, but for ten extra dollars, we'll rent you one of our little junkers. And the junkers were painted like a zebra because it was a lion park. So they painted them with stripe. It was like a piece of crap that was just meant to go through the two-mile park and out. So it's like a million degrees.

How long did you have to sit there for?

I sat there for about 15, 20 minutes until they came. And I got to crack the window because it's like a dog in a Walmart parking lot. And it was... And I'm sitting there, going, I'm a zebra. I'm sitting there.

You could die of heat exposure in there.

Or by getting mauled by a pride of lions. Does that mean they're gay? if it's a pride of lions, by the way?

No, pride isn't always gay.

Okay, they look gay to me.

Pride didn't used to be gay. It used to be like. you were proud of something.

One of them had their hair fluffed out. He looked pretty gay.

It's actually in the Bible.

Lions, they're gay?

Pride. Pride. It's not good.

Wait.

Is it the same thing? Is it the same thing?

I don't know.

It's in the Bible. It's one of the sins.

What, pride? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's one of the... Yeah, there's six like...

So why would you make a thing that is like, I have American pride. I love America. I do have American pride. I'm a patriot. I think this is an amazing place.

Well, if it's just the verb, you're just.

You know what I'm saying? It's like, what a flexible word. If you're trying to learn American English, like how we use things, or just English, and you spoke another language that was more logical, you'd be like, what the fuck? Why don't you have different words? Why do you have the same word that means such different things?

Like the word rose. Isn't there? like seven different meanings for the word rose? Well, there's the flower. It rose up.

Right. Yeah, yeah.

It's just like.

Right. I didn't think of rose, of corn.

Yeah.

Yeah. Rose the boat. Yeah. Oh, my God. There's so many.

That's so stupid. Well, there's two there. There's R-O-S-E and R-O-W-S. Same sound. Same thing.

Obviously you didn't. They're making new pronoun sounds every day.

Yeah. You could have called rose of corn like clonk of corn. Yeah.

Something that doesn't make me fucking confused. Yeah. Especially if I'm learning the language. Like, I speak Portuguese or something. Yeah.

Manatee? Manatee? Is that what you said?

Mandarin. Like Chinese.

Oh, God.

Imagine like you can speak it, but you can't read it or write it. Because that happens with a lot of Asian languages. Like, to learn Japanese. It's like speaking Japanese is hard, but now you have to learn how to read it and write it? Like, that's extra hard.

I got a story for you about that a little later.

Did you learn Japanese? I sort of...

Well, Vietnamese. Did you? I sort of had to.

Were you in Nam?

Possibly. I did two tours in Nam. And I got to say, Sunquest bus lines...

The best tours.

Oh, God. Air-conditioned buses.

Two tours.

Yeah. Right?

Tours. Yeah. Very different meaning if you're talking about going to Vietnam in 1967..

Huge difference. Big difference. And I found out. Do you mind if I just dip into...

What is it?

I have to.

Really?

Well, if you don't mind.

No, no, not at all. No. Thank you. What is your eating thing?

I'm a little embarrassed.

For real? Yeah.

It's almost four feet. Have you ever had one?

You really do?

Yeah.

I never know with you, you know? I don't know if I should feel bad or stop mocking you.

Well, you can do whatever. I don't even want to bring it up.

But I don't know if I feel bad. if it's true. You have a real tapeworm?

I do.

How'd you get it, do you think?

I was in the Galapagos Islands recently. And they have a rodent over there called the Bermuda eel rat. And it's not a documented species. It's the local jargon. Everything evolves in, as you know, through Darwin.

What do they do to get it out?

Well, they have pills.

Oh, you like having it now?

Well, you know, we hear all this talk about, you know, women and men. And men can have babies. They're telling men they can have children.

She's got a little baby tapeworm.

Well, let's just say I have something living inside me. And I sort of like it. I sort of like... Sometimes I can feel it moving around.

Celery.

Well, what it does, it reacts to the vibration of sound.

Okay.

I just need to take a couple of bites.

Okay, go ahead. Sure.

Oh, you're going to laugh.

For the tapeworm?

Yeah. Settles him down.

I think you're going to a bad doctor. I think you're getting bad advice.

No, I just mean for me. For you. This is like a self-medicating...

Yeah, I think they can get rid of those things, man.

No, but what I'm saying, I've grown attached to Dimitri. I like little Dimitri.

He's probably like.

But I like Dimitri.

Yeah, but you can't keep a baby inside you forever. The whole idea is the baby gets born and then it goes out.

Hold on, Dr. Spock. These suckers can grow up to 30 feet long. Mine's a four-footer.

Can they really get that big? How do they know how big yours is? Would they do an MRI or something?

Well, we did an ultrasound.

And they could see the tapeworm inside of you?

They could see it.

Do you have a picture of that?

I don't have a picture handy.

How do you not have a picture on your phone of that?

I've got my kid of little Dimitri.

Yeah, seems like he'd be really sad if you didn't have a picture of him.

I've got to bring one in. When I come back next week, I'll bring one in.

Tapeworms or cestodes could range in length one meter up to 50 feet. 50 feet, dude. 15 meters. The length and width of the tapeworms can vary depending upon the species. Wow.

And Bermuda eel rats. Yeah. Do they have that there?

How'd that rat taste?

You know, it's kind of good. Really? They season it up with the Galapagos seasoning. It's kind of like blackened catfish, but it's like Galapagos seasoning.

So you think all those people that live there probably have tapeworms?

I don't know if they have it, but I sure got it.

They have to have it. If you got it, that must mean everybody has it.

Unbelievable.

There's places in the world, especially tropical places, where most people have some kind of parasite.

Have you ever had a tapeworm?

No, I have not.

Do you want one?

No, thanks.

What's the worst thing you've ever had? Like the worst weird ailment?

Staff infection.

No way. How many people on your staff?

It was a small business.

Wow. Yeah. Wow.

Yeah, just one employee.

What's a staff infection?

It's an infection that you get on your skin.

It's like a bacterial infection?

Exactly. It's really common in jiu-jitsu. A lot of people get it and they don't recognize it. Ari actually had it. Ari didn't know he had it until I pointed it out.

Is it lethal? It's lethal.

People die. If it gets systemic, if staff infections get systemic, if your body becomes septic, you could die. People have died from staff. It happens all the time.

Yeah, people get it in hospitals a lot, don't they?

Yes, and unfortunately in hospitals they get something called MRSA. MRSA is medication-resistant staff infection.

Wow, a lot of black gospel singers get that I hear.

MRSA?

Oh, that's mercy. I'm sorry.

What were you saying, Jamie? Didn't you say something? Oh, I thought I heard you.

I thought you were going to talk about numbers of people dying from staff infections.

Yeah, I thought I heard that too. How many people a year die from staff infections? I think it's a big number. Wow. I know quite a few people that have been deathly ill from staff infections and had to go to the hospital and get their legs cut open and get their legs drained.

You've watched staff infection surgeries?

No, no, no. I mean, I've seen them online. 2017,, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention reported that almost 20,000 people in the United States died from bloodstream infections caused by staff.

How long did it last?

Didn't last very long because I caught it. I got real lucky. I caught it quick. I was at an airport with my friend, Tate, and I had these little pimples on my calf. Oh, God.

He put you on it, not your cow.

My cow.

I thought you said your calf.

Calf, like leg, part of your leg. That one, you really went out there with that one.

I do. For real? Yes. Please.

Do they have you on ivermectin? What do they have you on?

You can't get it. All they do is kill it. It can live in your system, they told me, for your whole life. Right.

Yeah. Have you ever seen bears? They have them sticking out of their ass? Oh, yeah. Like a fucking hose, like a garden hose, just hanging down.

You ever seen the worms that come out of praying mantises? Oh, yeah. That's disgusting. They're huge. They put a praying mantis in water, and that bastard must not have been praying enough, because it's got a tapeworm longer than Dolly Parton's ass hair.

Not only that, those worms, those aquatic worms, trick grasshoppers into drowning themselves. What are you doing, man? Don't do that.

No, the pulp.

I know, but don't just grab it and put it on the table.

I know, but it felt like I was chewing cud. Well, I put it on the celery. Okay. I would never put cud on your table. Stop with the celery, please.

You need to reach into your asshole and pull Dimitri out. Well. You need to, like, you know, with your shoulders down on the ground, ass up here, just get it. Dude. Get it in there.

Joseph.

And give birth.

Joseph, dial it down. I'm not going to.

Does he ever turtle on you?

Yes.

Does he?

That's why I call him Dimitri. Dimitri, one night I put out a piece of feta cheese, the Greek stuff, and he went nuts. Came out. Came out, huh? Have you ever seen a Burmese python?

Unbelievable.

How are you laying?

Spooning.

Like, where's her face? Is it, like, right where your ass is?

Well, we spoon upside down.

Am I feeling it? Does it make sense?

She uses my nose like a bicycle rack.

You have to come out.

Yeah. It's not pretty, but he's my boy.

How long is it going to take to kill him?

I don't want to kill him. This is why I'm.

No, but for real, for real. How long is it going to take to kill it?

Well, once you take those pills, you can kill it, like, within about three days.

And you're not taking the pills? No.

I'm telling you, guy, you know, I feel like I have a boy inside me. Wow. Wait a minute. Like a child.

Okay. Well, good luck with that.

Thank you.

Have you seen, I want to see a photo of those bears. The bears that have it. It's so disgusting. It looks like, like, enormous spaghetti.

Oh, yeah. Just falling out of their ass. Have you ever been attacked by a bear? No.

No. I'm here, right?

Well.

Look at that.

There are survivors.

Look at all that tapeworm coming out of his asshole. How crazy is that?

Whoa, looks like he just got married. You should put tin cans on the end of those.

He's just hoping someone steps on it so he can pull it out of his ass. Yeah.

Looks like he was parachuting and he landed and he's dragging the parachute.

I mean, how insane is that? Wow. I mean, their whole body is just a disgusting mess.

Yeah.

Like when you eat bears.

You eat bear?

Yeah, I've eaten bear.

Grizz? Black bear? Polar? Black bear. Black bear?

No, I've never had one of those.

Why'd you eat black bear?

I hunted them.

Yeah.

Yeah, they have to.

But I heard it's kind of a musky, kind of weird taste.

No, it really depends on what they've been eating. But most, unfortunately, most of those bears are probably eating calves. Moose calves and fawns, deer fawns. They tasted good.

Black bears are kind of like goats, though. They'll eat just about anything.

They eat a lot. Do you know that in the early days, the pioneers used to eat bear and they'd use deer for skin? Say again? They'd just use deer skins. They'd just use the hide from deer.

Oh, I see.

They ate bear more than they ate anything else.

Is that right?

Yeah. Isn't that crazy?

Well, maybe there was a reason for that, because the bear was a threat to them. So maybe it's like, let's kill the thing that could kill our cattle or kill our children, and let's eat that versus the docile. This is just a theory I just came up with.

That's a good theory. That makes sense. You would definitely want to kill the thing that's killing your food. And if you could eat it, too, all the better. And apparently, they thought it tasted the most like beef, whereas like venison is different.

Yeah, venison has its own taste.

Yeah. So they ate a lot of bear.

Black bears are dangerous, but grizzlies are the one you got to be careful about.

They're all dangerous, man. They're all bears.

I don't know. Can I share something with you? Please do. I'm a blueberry nut. I like blueberries.

How's Demetri feel about that?

Well, he likes celery. I don't give him berries. How dare you make fun of my boy, Joe.

Anyway, blueberries.

So this was about seven years ago. I'm up on a hill in Banff, out in Canada, in the Rocky Mountains.

So that was a grizzly bear.

It was a grizz. And when they attack, they roll you. They roll and claw. And I've never done this, but.

You're such a dork.

What do you mean?

Is that a real fucking tattoo?

Dude, this is not easy for me to talk about. Let me see it again.

That tattoo belongs to a mechanic in Idaho. And you need to give it back to him.

The bear came a-lolloping over the mountain.

Is that the longest anyone's ever gone for a gag? Yeah, that's the furthest anyone's ever gone. You actually got it tattooed on your chest.

Well, hang on, guy. I'm trying to tell you, I got attacked by a grizz.

Oh, my God.

That's probably the bear hurting chewing celery.

And you know what I did? I invented a thing called the jelly roll. Because I'm in the blueberries. The only way to evade the grizz, I roll down the hill. He's ripping my chest straight down the hill.

You're making jelly as you roll through the blueberries.

Yeah, I'm crushing the, yeah. And this bear was just befuddled. Just stood there, looked like Forrest Gump with a Chinese dildo up his ass.

Does this involve another tattoo?

Well, no. The mountain lion. What the fuck is that? He.

Did you glue those on? What the fuck is wrong with you?

The mountain lion.

Yeah, that makeup artist, whoever did that, they're like from the Twilight Zone. Same person. Same person who did that, fucking, that alien's head.

It fell off.

Hey, you're healing by the power of Jesus.

Oh, God.

What was his name again?

Little Kimmy Long. Wow. He had freckles on his face. It looked like Dolly Parton serving apple cobbler if you joined them.

He was Vietnamese?

Vietnamese boy, Kimmy Long. Wow.

Why would a Vietnamese kid have freckles? That seems uncommon.

That's what was so weird. That's how he stood out amongst all the other boys.

He's like a child of an American GI.

I don't know, but just unbelievable kid. To see a little Vietnamese boy with freckles, you don't get that.

How many American, that was always a thing. Those Chuck Norris action movies, remember? Like Missing in Action. It was always about guys that were still stuck over there and we had to go get them. I kind of forgot about that.

Are those the guys that inspired you? Like Norris?

Oh, yeah, definitely. Yeah, Bruce Lee.

When you were a kid, did you sneak into the movies?

I went to the movies. It was on television, too, when I was a kid. The first Bruce Lee movie I ever saw was on television. I couldn't believe it. I was like, look at that guy.

John McCain, remember him?

Yeah, he was a prisoner for years. His shoulders were all fucked up.

Yeah, he couldn't put his arms down. I remember I went on a roller coaster with him once. At the end of it, I was like, guy, it's done. And he was still.

That's how crazy Trump is. Trump made fun of him getting caught.

Yeah. No, Trump said, well, I like guys that didn't get caught. What the fuck are you saying?

You were going to run away? You would run away? Yeah. If you're his enemy, he doesn't give a fuck. He'll say anything.

You're skewered. You're skewered.

Even if it doesn't make any sense, he'll say it. Like, what? Guys who don't get caught. What? Yeah.

That's true. It's wild.