Don’t Let a Good Reason Become a Bad Excuse

with your money we want to help you win in your work and we want you to win in

your relationships the phone number for your questions is triple eight eight two

five five two two five triple eight eight two five five two two five I'm Ken

Coleman and I'm joined by the illustrious the incomparable the

fabulous Jade Warshaw ladies and gentlemen how about that I gave you

three adjectives listen my eyebrows couldn't keep up I was trying to keep up

with you I like that so we are here for you Jade will take the lead on those

money questions and then anything related to your work specifically how do

I make more income so we can get through these baby steps faster I want to help

you ideate on those questions so give us a dial triple eight eight two five

five two two five we started off in the ATL or April joins us April how can we

help today hi so my question is do I sell my home to get out of debt and a

bad man hmm maybe now tell us more yeah so I got married less than a year ago I

didn't know it's gonna be emotional I got married less than a year ago and I

came to the marriage with debt okay I have about ninety one thousand dollars

of debt that is not including the home my home is worth about a hundred eighty

thousand dollars positive so I have a hundred eighty in equity okay my

marriage has gotten progressively more toxic to the point of verbal threats of

harm it's already been emotionally and verbally abuses but now there are

threats of harm so my question is would it be a good idea to sell my home to

start over from scratch financially and to get out of this market well let's

start with the most important thing first which is getting into a safe place

and out of this marriage that's that's thing number one do you have a plan in

place that you're able to put into action immediately there's somewhere I

could go like I always go to my mom's house yeah you live together I could

always go to my mom's house I don't I don't have a plan I'm just confused at

this point I do think you need to go to your mom's house because any man that

would make a threat to physically harm you you can't stay there tonight right

yeah and I'm sorry I'm so I'm so so so so sorry this was not what you pictured

when you said I do no one pictures that right okay deep breath for both of us

all right you're going to mom's house tonight and we're gonna come up with a

plan that you can move out be on your own and feel like you have some

confidence yes yeah okay so let's talk about what you're earning what what do

you bring it in on every month as little as 6,000 I'm in commissions okay

I get paid commission so as little as 6,000 as much as 10 okay 6 to 10 what

do you do car sales okay good job all right so can you kind of go through this

$91,000 of debt with me just so I can get a handle on what it is can you kind

of itemize it for me yeah so around 50,000 student loans about 10,000 in a

personal loan once he 50 student loans 10,000 personal loans $6,000 on a car

okay and 25 on credit card okay 25,000 or 2,500 thousand thousand okay yeah

is this in your name or his name both of your names I brought okay and you guys

currently share your finances like are you sharing bank accounts are you

sharing that sort of thing not anymore we tried the financial peace

University as soon as it came time to put it in act he immediately put our

joint account in the negative so I don't contribute to that accounting okay so

for all intents and purposes you're separate yeah okay um okay so tell me

about the living situation are you guys renters do you own a house together tell

me about that which is the one you told us you had the equity in okay so it's

your home so you can you can it's as when I say it's as easy it's not easy

but you can ask him to move out right okay okay so head back around this okay

so what about savings do you have any savings you know I'm in a financial

distress which I haven't experienced since I was very young okay and to be

married and experiencing it now it's crazy are you behind on anything no okay

I had to think about that for a second now everything's perfect okay that's a

good place so the good news is the good news is in this way you're not really

beholden to anybody you're not dependent and in the way that this is his house or

you're you know you have a level of independence here that's in this case

good and at this point really it's just if you're talking about the financial

side it's you walking the baby steps like anybody else the good news is I

think you have a good income you know obviously it's better when you make

10,000 in a month but there might be the situation where you can add to that

and side hustles do you have any children or do you guys have any kids

together no kids together I have a child in college and I'm paying for him to

breathe okay okay but no no little kids nobody at home that needs your time so

for you the name of the game I mean it's twofold just like we would tell anybody

else we're looking for ways to get the income up whether that's you side

hustling maybe you can take on more time at the dealership whatever that looks

like that makes sense for you and then it's bringing the expenses down so

that's what we're looking at and at the end of the day we're taking these debts

smallest to largest right can I mean $6,000 car first yeah absolutely so you

get some momentum but I think in conjunction with with what's going on

here I think because you own the home that you guys are currently living in I

think we got to play serious play serious with this guy I think you have

to say you're never gonna threaten me again or I'm calling the authorities I'm

going to my mom's house until you move out and this can all be pressed pause on

if you agree to go to counseling but but at this point when a man threatens you I

think he's gone way too far and I would call him out on it and say never again

you made your last threat now if you want to go get some therapy and you want

we can sit down with a professional where you feel safe but I agree with

what Jade said but I would let him know that I'm moving to protect myself and

I'm giving you X amount of days to get all your stuff out and the next time I

see you will be in divorce proceedings unless you're willing to sit down and

try to rescue this marriage because I always loved the idea of let's try that

we'll see if this guy's the real deal when you come to that but I think at

this point you have to play hardball with him and say this is my home I'm in

debt as you said I'm in financial distress so in this case Jade answering

the initial question I don't think you have to sell this house but I think that

if this house represents a lot of pain and this thing does go the route of

divorce it might not be a bad idea to sell it start fresh anyway so you have

some good mojo in the next house as you get healthy but not neither one of

they're saying you have to sell this house you make pretty good money yeah

and I think Jade's right I think if you just get serious and take care of

yourself and this is part of it I think you can walk this out and you make

really good money I think you have some extra motivation right now to sell as

many cars as possible yeah and hey don't keep this a secret a lot of people would

keep this a secret make sure you get some good girlfriends around you this is

the time if you got brothers call up your brothers call up your dad call up

your grandfather call up your pastor these are times where you don't you let

people know what's going on and that you need help and that you need people

around you and let them help you and be there with you when you confront this

person for the first time yeah thank you so much for the call we're rooting for

you this is the Ramsey show

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slash budget welcome back to the Ramsey show thrilled to have you with us

triple-8 8 2 5 5 2 2 5 is the phone number triple-8 8 2 5 5 2 2 5 want to

help you win with your money win with your work and income and and winning

your relationships Jade Warshaw joins me I'm Ken Coleman we're thrilled to have

you and Jade my note said it's it's time you've got the you've got the

details there so I'm gonna bring you in here on this because you are a person

who has done how many cruises like how many cruises have you been on I probably

couldn't give you a number but I know you I oh gosh how many cruises per year

for how many years well I did about oh gosh I probably did about 30 is like

about 40 weeks a year for a long time okay so how many years would you say a

decade so for minimum 400 cruises well no because you can go on for like I

would go on for like three days and leave and then go on another one in five

days only so I'm gonna double it 800 cruises I've been to 92 countries can

yeah and you were a professional singer yeah and and so when you hear about the

live like no one else cruise are you like are you serious I can't get away

I've been on the land for a long time now you're back and it's gonna be a lot

of fun it's gonna be fun listen listen this one but you're speaking this time

yeah I'm not singing I'm not unless you decide to spontaneously lead the crowd

on in some type of thing but lay us a song piano man there I would never know

but you're gonna be speaking along with Dave Ramsey myself John Deloney yeah

Rachel Cruz or camel seven days at sea yeah March 22nd through 29th this is

coming up next year duh and we'll be stopping in Kent Turks and Caicos I'm

excited about st. Thomas Puerto Rico love that country Bahamas territory yes

the territory there and here's the thing we are starting to see cabins running

low so if you want to do any type of VIP upgrade those are basically sold out so

if you're even trying to pick up a cabin you need to log on now to do that if you

want one with an ocean view you need to get your deposit in now the deposit is

600 bucks so for anybody thinking man I got to pay for the whole thing at up

front it's not really like that you know you pay 600 bucks and then at the next

point in time you pay the other money so that's the way it works you can book

your cabin today at Ramsey solutions comm slash Cruz and we'll be there yeah

it's gonna be fun so make your decision now and again these are for people that

are in baby steps four five six yes seven obviously that is right so if

you're not there sorry but now you have a little extra motivation beyond all

your other dreams and goals as well so gonna be a lot of fun gonna sell out and

I gotta see if I can get that the captain's hat from Gilligan I have a

couple but I want to get it on Dave at some point I want to get him to put it

on without like frowning at me or shouting and inside he might frown at

you I could definitely say that but I think I think I think people want to see

that they do so I'm gonna get my hands on one of those and get him to through

crowd pressure yeah that on I expect to see you in a captain's hat well that's

easy you're gonna be in linen trust me you're gonna be in your uncle cage

sandals I'm gonna look like I stepped out of the J crew Ralph spring edition

of the catalog there's no question about it I've already got two different types

of deck shoes I'll be wearing yeah okay yeah well I mean when in Rome you know

well my copy here says that we've got big news and it said that the big news

was the live like no one else Cruz but I know about some other big news Ken it's

your birthday oh you did it to me I didn't know where you were going it's

your birthday kid guys home Kenneth Wayne Coleman it is his birthday he is

turning 40 for the second time in 10 years also known as yeah I you know what

men are not ashamed of this folks I'm 50 today the big five Oh Ken keep doing

what you're doing I'm trying it's you're making it's the moisturizer but thank

you yes thank you Jade you'll have to sing to me later today I've got to get

that Whitney Houston style can you do that after the show save a little bit

I'll save a little bit for the gathering okay all right so fun yes uh can't

believe I'm 50 James it got here a lot faster than I thought I never thought

you were a day over 35 Kim thank you well the Botox helps all right Columbus

Ohio is where we go Amy is waiting for us Amy how could we help hi I'm

wondering if I should take a job offer from a approach from a company this

would be about $30,000 more however the schedule wouldn't be as great or if I

should stay with my current company who I just started with in May for a better

schedule okay so if I'm hearing this right this is as simple as better pay

versus better schedule is that about right you are correct and which way are

you leaning before you called us it was so hard of course I love the personal

time this $30,000 raise would also bring more opportunities for growth later it

is a leadership position so of course there's the responsibilities of that

yeah yeah and how do you feel about that part of it I enjoy helping people and I

enjoy guiding people of course it's completely different when you're the

person that's always the one that someone's looking towards so it's it

would it's definitely intimidating and I think that's the biggest part I'm

intimidated and I don't know if it's the right move so so that's probably more of

a factor than the schedule issue correct quite possibly yeah it's scary have you

ever led before been in any type of supervisor role before I have for a

short period yes and how did you do how would you grade yourself I especially

since I was very new at it I did well probably about a beak because of course

there's always room for growth but I for you people people said that they

enjoyed what I did enjoyed helping or they enjoyed me helping them give me

what if I told you that you could be a really great leader if you just ask two

questions every week would you believe me I would try to okay so I'm gonna give

you two questions I want to address this and then let's get to your decision but

real quick I just want to take the fear factor out of leadership and it is

intimidating by the way and that's a very natural to feel but if you were to

boil leadership down to two basic actions I believe it takes away the

intimidation factor and I think it's gonna make you extremely effective and

here are the two questions this is for your direct reports and I think you do

this on a weekly basis the first question is how are you doing that is

not a greeting in the hallway how you doing it is a look them in the eye and

go hey how are you doing everything good and you should know enough about them to

where you can just lean in and we're not talking about getting up in their

business we're talking about what little bit they share they will begin to

share more over time but how are you doing as a person okay I heard your dog

was sick or word is that your mom's going through something you know

whatever they're sharing you've heard it and you lean in as a person to say how

are you doing to let them know that you care the more you ask that question the

more they will know you care and the more they will trust you which leads to

the second question and they will be willing to answer the second question

the more they give you answers on the first one the second question is how can

I help you win okay and that is people want to know that their leaders know

what they're dealing with do they have the resources do they have the time are

you tuned in to what's going on in their job if you and if you ask those

questions on a weekly basis over time you will develop unbelievable

communication and trust through the transparency that's going on with those

two questions you got it yeah now that will make you a really effective leader

I promise you okay now let's just talk about the decision the long term is what

I was going to ask you about you already gave us that answer so you said this job

with more money also gives me more opportunity long term for me I'm gonna

go with the long-term opportunity as long as the new schedule change isn't

some type of massive massive disruption that would make my family life such a

dumpster fire Jade that it wouldn't be worth the long-term opportunity in the

short term pay what do you think I agree with you wholeheartedly so is

that the case then Amy will the new schedule be super negative or

disruptive to your personal life it would be somewhat of a disruption this

is if I could say it's for hospice and my availability would have to be pretty

much 24-7 for a short period of time at least a year until we get full staff on

board because of course things can happen in an instant that would mean I'm

missing holidays as well so here's the deal can you do that for a year for the

payoff I think I would like to well then I think you got your answer we never get

to answer these questions our job is to poke around tell you what we think

that's good but I I think you're ready to take this new role and I think for a

year you and your family can step up by the way Jade give you last word on this

we had about 30 seconds I think it's all in how she communicates this to all the

family members that will be affected I agree um they can kind of jump in and

support yeah I think so understanding it's a short like we always say short

term sacrifice long term gain yeah all right so we are in agreement go for it

stack that extra cash I like that $30,000 bump and what that can do major

in the short term to set you up for the long term as well don't move more of

your calls coming up this is the Ramsey show I've been doing this show for over

30 years and some of the saddest calls I have taken are from situations that are

completely preventable yeah and what's so hard is I feel like one of those

especially the ones that I'm like oh it's terrible air people that call in

and their spouse has passed away suddenly and they don't have life

insurance when you have to think through how am I gonna pay my bills I'm in the

middle next week yeah in the middle of all that grief like it's just it is it's

terrible it's a life insurance is the one thing especially as a mom with three

little kids that I'm like so big on for people to get because it's

inexpensive Xander is the place that Winston and I actually get all of our

life insurance and it doesn't cost much because Xander shops among a gazillion

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800-356-4282 that's 800-356-4282 or go to Xander.com

welcome back to the Ramsey show I'm Ken Coleman Jade Warshaw joins me the phone

number is 888-825-5225 888-825-5225

let's go to Indianapolis Indiana where Zachary joins us Zachary how can we help

today? Hi how are you guys? We're doing great what's going on? So I'll cut to the

case Monday I lost my house in a house fire for at least four months yeah oh my

god what do you mean at least for four months what was it totally it was it

was contained to one room thankfully but we had a lot of stuff in that room that

the room is completely gone they have to completely gut it and reconstruct it I

guess okay nobody was hurt no the dog was inside but thankfully they got him

out okay okay so pup is okay and when you say it's only one room is that

downstairs upstairs what was in the room it was our downstairs master bedroom we

were actually supposed to sell the house four days prior well four days after the

fire had happened oh my gosh but that's not happening anymore so thankfully like

a lot of my stuff was packed up and ready to go but like my wife's entire

wardrobe everything like our our bed our newborn son's bed and everything is

oh my god where were you guys when this happened I was an hour away at work and

my wife was at work oh my gosh and that your newborn son he was a grandparent oh

my gosh thank goodness but the rest of the house is okay yes my stepdad was

driving by when it started to smoke really bad so he caught it what happened

what caused the fire do they know it was one of the outlets by our bed they're

not exactly sure but they think maybe a wire came loose and like touched the

insulation or something or a mouse chewed on it oh my is crazy well I'm so

glad everybody's okay well a couple of things to be grateful for obviously you

guys weren't there your wife was not there your baby son the dog is okay my

goodness your father-in-law's driving by yeah and I love the video and again

grateful that it's just the room and four months from now you've got a

rebuilt master now I know all of the other things that come with that are

awful but but all things being equal this is you dodged a major major crisis

yeah yeah definitely so how can we help today so we were planning on selling the

house because my wife bought it before me and her were ever together and that

is a nightmare of a house foundation issues and electrical issues yeah so we

were really wanting to get out of it we were buying a new house closer to my

parents and it's a lot nicer house but did you already make the offer yeah but

we are doing a contingency buy okay good I'm gonna lose that house now that

we have to wait another four months yeah we have just started the baby steps

we've got about $85,000 in consumer debt okay we don't have much savings

especially after the fire now and then what have you been doing yeah we we just

started it so we had the emergency fund but now with the fire and stuff we the

thousand dollar emergency fund or yeah yeah thousand dollars okay so here's

what I think so where are you staying right now right now we're at my parents

okay you're at your parents you've blown through most of your thousand dollars

what do you have left right now we've got I want to say well she actually made

an extra car payment so we're waiting for that to come back but we'll have

about 13 in our account but we have bills and everything and I do a ton of

driving for work so I have to leave at least five to six hundred in there for

gas okay so okay is insurance going to cover the total rebuild or is there

going to be more cash you're gonna have yeah they're gonna cover it but they are

kind of dragging their feet so right okay I think you're a little new to the

baby steps and so I kind of want to reset and get everything on on so that

you and I are at least on the same footing kind of going forward I hate

that this happened to your house and I hate that you guys had a plan and this

just three wrenches all up in that plan however in one way like Ken said you

dodged several bullets here and I'm gonna add another bullet to the list

that I believe that you that you dodged now looking at your financial situation

fire aside now was not the time for you guys to buy a house yeah I agree you

know I originally wanted to rent but we live in a small town and leaving the

town is not an option for us because of my wife's work and that's where our

babysitting situation is located and that they there is no places to rent

that would it be the same amount as what our mortgage was going to be okay that

has the space for two kids and a dog that allows dogs there was one place

that was available and we applied and we got denied because of our credit and

then and then it went off the market like a week later so so okay so to

address that unless you were going to unless by selling this house let's

pretend the fire didn't happen for a minute unless you're gonna have this

this huge amount of equity that was gonna allow you to get into the next

house and pay off you know this debt or something like that that would have been

the only way it would have worked out and if you had called us prior to that I

would said you could just got to keep looking look for the right rental

because something will come on the market that's what I would have said to

you in that situation but where you're at now is okay insurance is going to

cover the rebuild of the master bedroom you know you guys are in a place that

you know hopefully you're not spending a whole lot staying with family but you

are gonna spend some but you've still got you know you're still working so the

income is coming in there we've got to prioritize this debt and yeah that's

got to be the number one thing because technically Zachary when you go to buy a

house you want all of your debt paid off then you want to have saved up three to

six months of expenses that's not talking about a down payment that's just

you having money you know when you move into this house and then it's like okay

I need a down payment so you guys were quite far from being there when you sold

the house what was it going to bring we were going to get about 15,000 in equity

and then my sister was also going to give a gift for a down payment as well

to help us with that okay and when you got that gift from your sister what

percentage wise was that going to be towards your next down payment we were

going to be using an FHA loan but it was going to be roughly 12 to 15 yeah yeah I

think in many ways this was a blessing in disguise because I think you guys are

about to get in way too deep you always want to make sure that you're putting at

least 5% down on a house you want to make sure it's no more than 25% of your

take-home pay these are the things you want to make sure of and going forward

now it's just not the time and hopefully what I would do what I would do for you

guys if the house that you're in is a nightmare obviously there's electrical

things that need to be fixed obviously there's other things those are things

that you might have to shell out some money to fix in the meantime because the

solution and can we see it all the time my car broke down I'm just gonna trade

that in and trade up and get a new car with payments right because we don't

have the $2,000 to fix it so we get a $20,000 car right and the worst I said

this to Dave on Friday the worst thing is and I'm not saying that this is you

but you buy $500,000 house but the AC breaks and you don't have $5,000 to fix

it right happens all the time so push push pause on home buying it's not the

time yeah rebuild get your life back on on track get the things fixed in the

home that's gonna make it a safe place for you to live and that's right and hey

let's look at the positive on this I think Jade's right and I think I'm gonna

give you just a little bit of a I think hopefully a little mindset hack here

you know you get a new master bedroom hey you know in the sense of you know

did you lose some stuff yes that stinks she lost her wardrobe that's awful all

those things are just awful but baby safe dog safe you're safe you know what

in a really old master bedroom mm-hmm now you get a new master bedroom I like

Jade's pressing pause right here and just kind of going you know what life

just threw us a curveball but what let's hit the curve yeah yeah you know like I

know I know you know I'm stuck in this baseball metaphor but stay with me you

know curveballs are meant to strike people out come on but let me tell you

something really good hitters know how to hit a curve and if you hang a curve

these people put it out of the park they smash it and I think right now I

think for the coaching you just got from coach Jade over here I think you guys

can take this this curveball that life threw at you and you absolutely hit a

grand slam and come out of this thing way better off so please listen to what

she said I think she's absolutely right I think you guys got a second chance not

fun not fun how you got it but nonetheless a second chance so there you

go all right don't move she's Jade Warshaw I'm Ken Coleman we're here for

you this is the Ramsey show

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Ramsey promo code Ramsey welcome back to the Ramsey show I'm Ken Coleman Jade

Warshaw joins me the phone number is triple eight eight two five five two two

five Chad is joining us now in Sioux City Iowa Chad how can we help today I

can't hi Jade nice to talk to you I'm calling just because I'd like to know if

it would be wise to convert a 401k to a Roth

okay that's a good question to ask so are you moving jobs is that what's causing you to

I'm 53 my wife's 52 kind of got into this late in the game we have about

five hundred sixty thousand total in investments okay mutual funds between

four fifty seven at my work she has two IRAs and then I have a Roth I was

looking to convert her IRA into a Roth how much is it and that 170,000 okay so

here we work through a series of baby steps I'm not sure how familiar you are

with them but technically okay so do you guys have any debt no debt no debt okay

what about the house houses are paid okay yeah if you want to start that

process I would say yes the only caveat to that is obviously if you're in baby

step two we don't want you to do that because you're gonna be on the hook for

the taxes and you know that money can be used otherwise if you're on baby step

two but for you guys it seems like the right move are you working with a tax

guide or anybody to help you in that area yeah I do have those people in

place I kind of want to get your guys's opinion before I went actually and spoke

to them about it yeah if I were in your shoes I would start trying to make that

move I mean I don't know if you listened a few days back but we had a guy who he

had amassed such a wealth eight million dollars but it was all in traditional

funds and so he was just getting nailed with you know required minimum

distributions and so there is a part of this where you do need to begin making

that that transfer over to Roth and I think that you need to work with a Ramsey

trusted pro in order to do that somebody to help you with the tax side of it and

somebody to help you with the investment side of it so if you need

that we'll make sure that Christian picks up and gives you that but if

you're asking if now is the time my answer is yes yeah I agree I don't

disagree because of the way you walked it through I mean we've got the baby

steps and again the timing on this this is why our formula matters it matters

big-time and that's why we always say match beats Roth beats traditional like

we want you investing where there's free money but at the end of the day the Roth

is I mean yeah the whole point is when you go into those retirement years a

you don't want to be taking having to pay taxes on what you're pulling out of

there and be if you do amass the type of wealth that we hope that you do if

you're in traditional and you're having to take those required minimum

distributions you're paying taxes on that that's right and that has the

ability depending on how well you've done to boost you up in some tax brackets

textbook yes on this one and I love how you walked him through that so our new

audience make sure you're paying attention there as to the why why why

it's a yes for Chad for some it's not so really really good review there yeah

let's go to Tampa Florida now and Valerie is joining us there Valerie how

can we help hi so I'm calling in I'll be waiting on my age I'm as a wealthy 24

and he's planning on going to law school both have our undergrad and as he's

going to law school we're wanting to have kids like you want to have like a

big family like four to six kids and we realized that we probably shouldn't be

waiting till after he's done to start having kids so then my question is is

like he's going back to school he obviously won't be making money because

he'll be in school for three years and then what would you recommend I do

should I take out like loans for like housing and an expensive like food no

or should I work through yes law school and send my kids to daycare well first

of all we don't have any kids yet right no but like so I'm stepping in here real

quick because I'm gonna play old man because I'm 50 today Valerie so I'm

feeling extra wise okay I got a good night's sleep and I want to I want to

start off of this and then I want Jade she has no problem taking issue with me

if she disagrees but I hear some things that 50 year old Ken says slow

your roll youngster all right let me just go through a couple things how old

are you and your husband and how long you've been married 24 and three and a

half years three and a half years in okay and so if we start trying to have

kiddos today there are no guarantees that we're gonna have them in the

timeline that we want would you agree with that statement Valerie yeah

correct but also he's gonna be going to law school and fall 2025 doesn't matter

this is my timeline you follow me don't jump off the timeline Valerie I see what

you're trying to do I'm going somewhere with this you have no idea that you guys

are going to get pregnant when you want to get pregnant you have no clue okay so

he's going to law school when starting in the fall couple weeks Oh fall of

2025 so he's got a year to work yes yeah yes he does all right and I have

another another suggestion here in a second here's my point you are asking if

you should take out loans for something that may not be absolutely in need you

you could be working full-time and not have kids stacking cash cutting your

expenses and so I think this is a bad idea to even consider it because because

here's here's what I know about law school where is he going and what is it

going to cost so he's going to it's in st. Pete and he's planning a full-ride

scholarship right that was my great so yeah why would we need money why would

we need student loans if he's getting a full ride did you say he's planning to

get or he's getting yeah he's planning getting like based on his LSAT score and

absolutely is all of his things he got yep he should be getting a full ride

perfect for whatever reason if he doesn't we'll have to pay whatever but

anyway um so yeah my question is if but like you know preventative if we are in

law school and like I'm I'm pregnant like what what would you recommend like

would you recommend you know I'm going to work putting kid in daycare no no I

wasn't finished Valerie Valerie I wasn't finished sorry Jay no go ahead

kid I'm gonna say this you should not be trying to have kids you're 24 get

through law school it's two years max right no it's not it's three years who

cares it's a 37 stop this nonsense stop it stop it it is not smart in this

situation for you to be planning to have kids right now just chill out until you

get the cash to be able to have kids or you have a budget where you can have

kids don't walk yourself into a student loan because you think you got a mama

timeline stop it's not smart Jade yeah well I'm

planning on having like four to six kids I don't care I'm going to dunk a

basketball when I was 16 it didn't work out okay here's the thing listen

yeah I'm not gonna wait till I'm old you don't have any control you don't even

have to wait till you're old let me just throw it to you like this mom to future

mom hey there's a couple of things here there is a there is something there's

something it's important to plan okay all I'm saying is you have the ability

to make a great plan here and to create as much of a situation where you're

setting yourself up for success as possible to Ken's point you do have

plenty of time that's number one but then we have to be aware of the things

that we cannot control a you might get listen I hope you have six very

wonderful pregnancies and they happen exactly when you want them to but there

is a part of this where listen that somebody threw the cards up in the air

and you don't know where they're gonna land so I love that you're planning do

if you're planning then let's plan a way where you're not going into debt that's

all I ask we're planning for a way that allows us to have the life that we want

where we're not going into debt to the other huge variable in this Valerie that

you're forgetting about is once these babies come out of you you don't know

what you're gonna want you might suddenly be like practice law what was I

thinking I want to stay on these babies or I want to do part-time or I want to

homeschool them my husband lawyer and so that right there knowing that variable

is a huge not that I had to give you any more reasons not to go into debt but the

worst thing ever would be if you went into debt to get a degree and then you

hardly used it for the next 18 years I'm sorry I'm not going to law school