How Can I Get Ahead With My Money?

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, this is the Ramsey Show. It's where we help you win in your life, specifically your money, your work, and your relationships. I'm Ken Coleman, joined by the incomparable, the lovely Rachel Cruz. The phone number is 888-825-5225.. 888-825-5225..

Always will, Ken. We always want your thoughts, Ken.

I'm sure you do. And we'll also take your work questions. So your income is your greatest wealth-building tool. Your income, multiple incomes, is the best way to get out of debt and get through the rest of the baby steps. So if you're feeling stuck, you're not where you want to be in your work life, and your financial life is being affected, I'm here to help you on that as well.

Hello?

Hello, Ross. You're live on the Ramsey Show. What's up?

Awesome, awesome. How are y'all doing today?

We're having a blast.

It's really good to get through to y'all. I've been trying for a couple months.

Well, today is your day. What is your question?

So we kind of got in a predicament where my girlfriend got in a wreck not too long ago.

Is she okay?

Yeah,

Yes, okay. Ross, how much do you owe on your truck?

I do not have a truck anymore. I downsized to a car.

Okay, and how much is on that car, then?

$21,000, $22,000..

Okay, perfect. How much does she make a year?

I don't know the exact on both, but I know our total together, because I have the EveryDollar app, so it just shows a total of what our annual income would be, and it's $64,000.. And that divvies down to about $5,000 a month.

Okay.

Hold on, we can answer Rachel's question. What do you make out of the $64,000?? What do you make?

I make around $36,000..

Okay. Okay.

So you guys are essentially making about the same amount of money?

Correct, yes.

And I have a quick question for Rachel. I'm going to ask him, but this is for you, because you're walking through this. I'm just curious. The question is, how do we get her on board? But you said that she got in a car accident, and she bought a ...

Well, he said we bought a Dodge. I know, you said we. I'm going to make sure your name, Ross, is not on her car.

That too, but I also want to know what it means by, we did it at a spike, because I want to know where her head's at on this whole situation.

Well, she got. ... She went into a guardrail, and then she didn't want to have to pay for the damages, so she just thought about getting a branded vehicle. And it wasn't branded, it was used, but it was new to her.

Okay, so that helps you with her mindset on all this.

Wow. Ross, is your name on her car?

The newest one, yes.

Okay. All right, Ross. So let's just have a high-picture chat here for a second. Because, your whole language, you're acting like you're married, okay? Your names are on each other's debts, you're combining income and all of it, and what can happen?

The bad thing is, we don't have enough money saved up to have a wedding.

Different question.

Ross, you can get a marriage license down at the courthouse, right?

Yes, I do want to get married, but the stipulation is a wedding, because I've already gave the JP office run at it, and it was not taken very well.

How old are you guys?

I'm 21, and she is about to be 23..

Okay, okay.

The stipulation. She has laid a stipulation. She's 23..

She wants her wedding. She's a 23-year-old girl. I mean, this is— I get it. That's not surprising me.

I get it, but it's not what needs to happen.

No, it doesn't. You're right. And this is not me rushing you. If you guys don't need to get married, you don't need to get married. But I don't want you to keep playing like you're married, especially with money.

The question is, how does he get her on board? I want to know your take on this, because you do have a female point of view, too. She likes the car. She is pregnant, or is the baby already here?

Yes, she is eight months old.

Oh, she's eight months old, so she's a new mom. She likes the car, and you have brought up the idea of selling it, and she didn't like that at all?

Correct.

Did you tell her why you think you should sell it?

I told her that we could—all she sees is the money on top, so we're not going to be making any money off of it. So, she sees a vehicle that we're going to have to pay on, even though we don't have the nice vehicle.

Right.

Yeah. But also, you'd be, you know, paying on—.

We'd be on the track to paying off debt very quickly. Because, like, I did it, and with the little amount that we saved, the most we saved on a single month was $800.. And we threw that to the smallest loan, which is my car loan, to try to do the debt snowball.

Well, let me just say this.

That's the kind of predicament.

For sure. Well, you guys, I mean, you guys have, gosh, you know, $58,000—close to what you make in a year in car loans. And it's just too much, Ross. You guys can't afford these cars. So, if you're underwater on the first one, I would probably sell it.

Ross, you've got to show her a monthly savings, how you get out. Get in the details. Cast vision. It's the only way you're going to get her on board. This is The Ramsey Show.

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Right, right, right. Well, again, I'm not even sure he knows what a table saw is. He just heard it and said it.

Or a circular saw or something.

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All right. Today's question. It's a long one. Get ready, everyone. Oh, it is.

Yes and yes. All right. Let's get all their numbers.

Next question. We have followed your baby steps and are debt free, but the house, our net worth is $1.6 million. We owe $80,000 on the house. It's worth $700,000.. We're 50 years old.

I want you to go first, because I have a very clear answer.

I think he needs an attitude change. I don't think she's being a princess. She worked hard with the kids. She's a stay at home. now, wife.

I agree, but I'm not mad at her. I'm not either. But what do you say? In fact, I'm going to stay out of this and just ask a question. Let's say that Barry's wife, her name is Mary, just for fun.

Sure.

And she says to you, we're fine. All the things you just said. Yeah. But I understand he wants to knock it out of the way, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He wants me to go back to work and I just don't want to.

Mary and Barry.

I know. But what do you say to her? Because he's clearly brought this up to her. Yeah. And she's not moving fast enough.

So I would ask her, what is it that keeps you from not working? Yes. Meaning like, is it that you don't have a thing that you're passionate about that you want to do? Is it that you just logically have come to a conclusion that y'all are going to be fine? Like you're going to pay off the house soon.

Could it be the budget drift? So he's like, if she works, then she's going to keep her discipline.

And obviously she can't go and just do whatever she wants. Like we have to have limits and boundaries in life. But it doesn't sound like she's out of control.

No, not at all.

And if they had two car payments and $15,000 of credit card debt, she has to get back to work.

All right. So I want you to keep on this because you're getting us there. But let me interject. on behalf of Barry.

Well, you get us there. Do you know? Do you know where we're going?

Well, yeah, but where you were going, I wanted you to tell us what you would tell her. Because I think this is a getting on the same page. You're great at that. I would ask her. You're very intentional in your life with Winston.

Yeah.

That's what I think he's feeling. So then, how does she? So I just wanted to throw that in there. Yeah. So what would you tell her?

There is. And I just wonder on her end, hey, is there other ways that I can help contribute to lowering that stress with me not having to go back to work? Like, would it make you feel better? And if we agreed on a budget. And I actually stuck to my word, right?

Yeah. Well, if anytime someone mentions twice the same phrase, is she a princess, he thinks that Barry thinks that she's a princess. And what he means by that is not the compliment. It's like, you got it. good, babe.

And that's more of the underlying issue. And I do think sometimes spouses, because our spouse is the closest person in our lives, they are the ones that we can just kind of, like, you know, say it all, give it all, whatever. But I do think the intentionality, and you're great at this, Ken, asking questions. I think, and Winston, I've kind of gotten in this rhythm, too. Instead of just telling, right, you do that, I want you to do that, asking questions.

I love that you bring this up. Because we know there's all kinds of tension around money issues. This is a really great conversation. One of the things I learned from a coach years ago that I was getting trained by, as I was getting into this type of work, where I get to coach people, they told me to always ask what questions, not why questions. You hear this in a lot of therapy.

Right.

She's immediately on the defensive and unable to do anything but defend herself. Yeah.

The finger pointing doesn't get anyone anywhere.

Yeah, that's right.

And that is hard. So, yeah. And usually, too, I have found Ken in life. Yeah. In all my years.

My guy, Barry, he's a little uptight. And so a little advice to Barry is, hey, you know what? Why don't you go take on a second job?

Go, enjoy your life.

No, I'm going to tell him to go pick up. And she's like, and so Mary's like, well, Barry, why aren't you home? He's like, well, I just really want to knock this out. And then she starts to go, well, why do you feel the need to do this? Yeah.

Barry and Mary.

Can you imagine? Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you, Mr. and Mrs. Barry and Mary. Whatever.

Hi, how are you?

Good, sir. What's going on?

So I am a 22-year-old college senior. I'm looking to propose to my girlfriend in the next couple months. But when we get married, she'll have about $70,000 of student debt. So I was just curious on some ways to best prepare myself to take on that debt when we get married in a year-ish.

Well, we start with a stiff drink. No, I'm kidding. That's terrible advice. I'm kidding. I'm joking.

Have a little cocktail.

I mean, we've got the baby steps, but they usually work better when you're inheriting debt with a stiff drink. So you have no debt at all?

No, I don't.

Okay. All right. So tell us emotionally where you are. I would just love to know this. Because you're calling to ask this question.

A little. Because I don't have any debt, a little uneasy. We're also moving to Iowa. I took a job out there for after I graduate.

What are you going to be making?

Kind of a pre-tax, I'll be making $69,000 post-tax, with a 5% contribution to a 401k, about 55..

And does she expect to work as well?

Yes. She has one more semester of college, and then she'll be getting a full-time job.

In what field?

She has a business degree. She's not exactly sure what field she'd like to get into, though.

Okay. So what would you...

So not a starting salary. Yeah.

What do you think? $35,000, $40,000?.

$40,000, yeah. $40,000-ish?

Yeah, probably in the $40,000-ish range. Yeah.

I wanted to give Rachel those numbers, because she'll walk you through what you're going to do here. But this is doable.

Yeah. Okay. And I'm assuming the debt is student loans, correct?

Yes, only student loans.

Okay, yeah. So here's like, if there is a... You know, the positive side of this, even for me, because going into a relationship, we talk about this a lot with couples that are seriously dating or engaged, entering marriage, that the money conversation needs to be had. And obviously, you guys have had that. You know what her debt is.

Absolutely right. The way I like to look at things like this, because I know it's really scary, Ethan, is, let's say, you do what Rachel said and we try to knock it out in two years. That is $3,000 a month. So, between the two of you with no kids, maybe you're working a second job, and you're living like college students, as Rachel said, could you put $3,000 a month towards the debt? If you can't, that's okay.

I've mentioned to her that I'd like to pay it off as quickly as possible and kind of have a tight budget and things like that. How did she react? She was a little uneasy about it, but I think she saw the value in it.

Well, so the next step is, and again-.

You guys need to do this together.

Yeah, you guys need to sit down and go, if we make this and we start laying this out, if we put $2,000 a month towards it, that's $24,000 a year. So that's going to take us three, you know, you just have to get real with the numbers. It is intimidating for anybody when you show up and you go, hey, babe, I want to knock the $70,000 out as fast as possible. You didn't tell her how.

You know? Yeah, it can feel overwhelming.

It's just like, whoa. You know? Yeah.

So yeah, y'all sit down, run the numbers, and look at it. And here's the deal, and you can't force this upon her. There's so many questions of like, how do I get my spouse on board? I'm like, at the end of the day, they're an individual person. Like, they're going to have to decide.

And please hear what she said, rent, like don't buy a house, don't buy new cars. I know you're going to be adulting, you guys are going to be doing pretty well financially. But getting through this debt and getting an emergency fund before you start to really get to the next phase of life, Rachel, could not be any more correct, Ethan. It's worth it. But you're going to have to cast a vision, you know, don't tell her what we're doing.

And hold on the line, Ethan, because we'll pick up and give you guys Financial Peace University. This is our nine lesson course and every dollar premium. So, just to give you some tools to walk through together. So you guys watch these videos together. It's a very romantic date night.

That's a lot of money combined.

It does. And start to kind of feel those numbers and just see where you guys are going. When you can paint that picture as clearly as possible, it makes it, you know, it makes it realistic. It makes it fun. It makes it doable.

How confident are you that she's going to say yes when you pop the question?

99%.

Oh, I thought y'all were already engaged. My bad. Sorry.

No, that's why I asked the question.

No, not yet.

He's 99% sure. I'd like to work on that 1%. I don't know what's going to be there.

But I feel like that's a great... Would you ever go into a proposal if you feel less than 99%?

No. I personally can't deal with rejection, so I'd have to have... I'd have to be... It'd have to be a lock. And the way he said it, he was kind of like 99%.

One more quick question that I do have.

Super fast. We got 30 seconds. Go. All right.

While in this time after I graduate, until we get married, should I be saving up money to make a lump sum contribution to her debt?

Yes. Don't pay on anything on her debt until you're legally married. Once you guys are married, take your lump sum, throw it at the student loan debt. Great question.

Great question. All right, Ethan. We're rooting for you, buddy. Put a ring on it. Better be a romantic proposal.

I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that people have started buying life insurance to protect their families at levels not seen since the 1980s. The bad news is many of them are still buying crappy cash value type plans. I don't care what you call them, whole life, universal, variable, adjustable, flexible. They're nothing but a waste of your money.

Welcome back to the Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman. Rachel Cruz joins me and we are here to help you win in your money life, also your work life, and in your relationships, money, work, and relationships. They all have a way of just kind of fitting together when things are working and opposing each other when things are not. Speaking of money, we found at Ramsey that if you're going to win in money, no matter what baby step, you're on, the budget, it's the thing that powers everything.

Yeah, so we've been doing these EveryDollar webinars and thousands of like 6,000 to 8,000 people sign up for each one, which is just incredible. So I have one that I'm hosting on Monday at 1130 Central Time. So if you go to everydollar.com slash budgeting, you can sign up there or you can sign up and we can send you the recording after. But we really want to walk people through how to do a budget on a very tactical standpoint, because there's a lot of people that push against the idea of budgeting, so we'll kind of like go through some of those pushbacks, but then also walk through, hey, here's what it looks like to budget and here's the benefits of it. We do some live Q&A, so we answer questions.

And there it is. All right, let's get to the phones. Hartford, Connecticut is where George is hanging out. George, how can we help?

Hey, how are you doing, Ken and Rachel? So, I, you know, consider me and my wife right now pretty well off, but, however, you know, with the economy in today's stage, I'm being a very frugal person, or someone call it being cheap.

Sure. Okay, a couple quick questions for us. So, yeah. So, you said you guys are well off. What does that mean?

Okay. So, I wrote down some of the numbers. So, right now we have a combined income of $210,000..

How much do you guys make a year?

$210,000 between the two of us.

Oh, I'm sorry. I did write that down. I apologize.

So, you've been doing these $6,000 to $7,000 summer vacations, yes, or she wants to start doing them?

So, we did one last year. And I'll be honest with you. I'm absolutely hooked. I want to go back. But then I wake up from reality like, oh, I can't do this.

What do you guys owe on your current house?

I owe $110,000..

Okay. And what other debt do you have?

I have zero debt.

Okay. What kind of money do you guys have saved? that's non-retirement?

I have $60,000 in CD right now, and I have $25,000 cash in my bank right now.

Okay.

How long does it take you to save up for the $6,000 to $7,000 vacation that you said you could do without, but now you're hooked? George, how long does it take you to save up to $7,000?? You're a budget guy, man. You're all over it. Yeah.

If I want to save it, if I put all my mind and effort to it, I can save up in maybe three months.

Right. And what's the benefit, George, of taking your wife and the kids on the $6,000 to $7,000 vacation? that, by the way, you're hooked on?

The thing is, I'm no problem taking it, but what if? There's a lot of what ifs involved. George!

What are the benefits of taking your wife and kids on this $6,000 to $7,000 vacation that you can easily cash flow and save up for in a three-month period? What are the benefits?

Happy wife, happy life.

Okay, great. Not to mention, you said you were hooked on it, George. It's good. It's good for everybody. Now, take me to the worst-case scenario, that this $6,000 to $7,000, and I want to stay with this number, Rachel, because that's the number you've given us, George.

Well, I'm trying to say, currently, we are saving to buy a bigger house, right? We are trying to actually move to a different state to buy a bigger and nicer, much nicer house.

You're not answering my question, George. You're like a politician on a Sunday morning show, so I'm going to act like the host. Listen, listen. I'm trying to get you somewhere, okay? How much are you trying to save every year to get into the new house?

I want to save somewhere between $40,000 to $50,000 every year.

All right. Am I understanding that you want to save $40,000 to $50,000 every year? Am I understanding that you can't hit that number, $40,000 being the low number, because you're spending $6,000 to $7,000 on the vacation?

Oh, man. This is not a result I was hoping for.

What it means is I got you, because what I think I hear you say is you can save the $40,000 to $50,000 a year and cash flow the vacation. Am I right, George?

Aloha, George.

Go.

Well, well, well.

My wife is standing next to me. Good.

Tell her. What's her name? What's her name?

Is she listening?

She is.

What's her name?

Mary. Mary!

You're going on vacation!

Mary!

Rachel and Ken say you are going on vacation every year!

You know, I was hoping that you guys were going to take my side and be like, you know, you should do, you know, every five years.

George, listen. George, we actually did take your side.

You can do both, is what Ken's saying. Yeah.

You get to go on vacation, George.

And also, George, and here's the thing. Okay. And I think I could get a little bit more on George's side. I could like empathize with you a little bit more. If, George, you're like, hey, here's our goal.

because the world has collapsed. No, if the world's going to hell in a handbasket, I'm going on vacation. Going on a $6,000 vacation. I'll tell you right now. I'm going to be on the beach when it all goes down.

So, yeah, George, if the worst case scenario happens, pulling back your lifestyle may be a reality, and that's what a lot of people find. You guys have gotten out of debt. You have your emergency fund. You make a great income. You have savings and retirement.

Mary? Is Mary right there? George, is Mary still there?

No, she actually just left and went to a meeting.

I was going to ask Mary where you guys are going this year.

Actually, we're going to Cancun, Mexico, last year, and I'm just absolutely hooked. One thing I was going to say is I think what it is is the lifestyle I grew up with. I grew up poor.

That's right.

In my family, I never went on vacation. In fact, we barely left the state at all.

I'm going to take you on a shopping trip, George, you and me, pal. J. Crew, it's going to be great.

I know, but that's a legitimate thing, George. We do find that. You talk about that.

You wrote a book about money styles.

Yes, Know Yourself, Know Your Money, and you go back to childhood. So much of how we're shaped, our fears, our dreams, all of that is because of the emotional state, or the true financial state, of our household growing up. It's very real, that fear, but it's not reality, George. You're not that little boy anymore living in that scenario. You're a grown man who's done really well with your family, and that's the state you have to live in.

Speaking of states, wherever you go on vacation, George, we'd like you to send us a postcard from you and Mary to Rachel and I. Ramsey Solutions, care of Rachel Kruisk and Colin. We'd love to see your postcard. It's going to be great. This is The Ramsey Show.

Well, toll-free, I feel like that's what we used to hear back in the day, like on TV, when it was like a call for this product.

I'm an old radio guy.

Yeah, the Internet wasn't there.

Everybody pretty much knows it's toll-free. You're going to give us a P.O. box to write to, Ramsey? Yeah. And make sure you go to www.ramseysolutions.com if you're a new listener.

Toll-free.

Nobody even knows what that means. What is that? Do I have to pay a toll to call?

I know, Ken.

It means it's a free call.

It's just Grandpa, Ken. All right.

Have you had enough?

See, it's Shelby.

Are you feel good about yourself?

I feel good. I feel good, Grandpa.

We'll move on. Thank you very much. Shelby is on the line in Sacramento. Shelby, how can we help?

Hi. Thanks for taking my call. So my question is about when do you decide to put paying debt on the back burner, I guess? I have a lifestyle right now that's completely uncontainable. I have a three-month-old and a 15-month-old.

Okay. Well, Rachel, I'll walk you through the numbers on this, but you guys can still get through this, but you can't get through it, period, if you're burning out emotionally. And I am. I know. We can tell.

Thank you. I appreciate that.

So good. Okay. So, Shelby, how much are you bringing in with your job?

I bring in about $2,000 after taxes. Sometimes I work a little bit more, but that's kind of the average right now.

Okay. And what about your husband?

He brings home about $5,200..

Okay. And how much debt do you guys have?

We have $30,000.. It's just two cars. I shouldn't say just. It's still $30,000 in debt. It was two cars.

Okay. Okay.

Curious, real quick. What does he do for a living?

He is a construction design manager. I'm so sorry. I don't know if you can hear my kids. You're fine.

You're fine.

You're talking to two people who have three kids each. We've been there, done that.

It sounds like it. It's beautiful. It's the same place at our house all the time, drowning in crime. You're fine. I love it.

All the time, yes. All the time. My husband is a team lead, technically, for a construction design company. He is in the process of requesting a raise, but it hasn't happened yet, and we're not sure if that's going to be possible.

Is he pretty handy, though?

Handy, no. He does computer work. He is not a construction guy.

She's like, nope, nope.

Join the club, because you're talking to the chief non-handy guy right here. I can barely change the toilet paper. I have to get instructions out.

I do my own oil changes. My husband can't.

There you go. Shelby.

Shelby, you're a really sweet lady. Please don't tell anybody that again.

What do you do?

I work for a non-profit. I'm the program manager, so I run day-to-day operations, and it is not what I want to be when I grow up.

Sure.

I wonder, could he make $1,000 extra a month? Yes.

Could he do that?

Or $2,000?. If he makes $2,000, I'm not putting this pressure on him, Rachel, but if he makes $2,000 a month through side hustles or something, then he fixes this issue. He's fine. He can take home. He needs to make $2,000 after tax, and we don't miss a beat, and you're with the babies.

Or Shelby, with your administration skills, you could be an online assistant for one person for 12 hours a week. There you go. It's something small, and you bring in half of what you're doing. Just bring in $1,000.. I know.

It's still be something.

Yes, totally. Then he matches it, and then you guys do it, or you guys back it off a little bit, and it's 18 months until you pay it off versus a year. You're okay. Nothing is on fire here. We do celebrate the urgency of getting out of debt on this show.

Are you guys just curious, would you be upside down in the cars if you sold one or both?

That's a good point, too.

Yeah. Unfortunately, we bought these cars when we were young and didn't know anything about money. No worries. We had negative equity in both of them.

That's fine. You're going to pay them off.

Yeah. The plan is to pay them off and then sell one of them, because we don't need two cars.

You're great. I can tell you right now, Shelby, I can sense a difference in your voice from the start of the call to now.

Yeah.

I feel better. I think you called asking for permission. You didn't need it, but you've got to take care of you and the baby's first.

What's your husband saying? What's his take on all this?

He agrees. I think he's really stressed about the amount of debt we have, but at the same time, I have a wonderful husband and he really just wants me to be okay. Yeah, me to be okay and the kids to be okay.

Hey, he can make more money. He can make more money. Yeah. I'm telling him. Okay.

And it's for a year to 18 months, to 24 months. This isn't forever. Yeah. Short time. Short period.

I kind of miss the screaming baby phase just for about a second.

Come to my house, Ken.

Then I get over it. This is The Ramsey Show.

Hey, guys. Thank you for taking my call. So today I was just calling because first I just want to start. We started the baby steps in December of 2021, so we have no out-of-state or anything besides our house. We have 59,000 left.

Well, it sounds like you're stable. What's your combined income?

Our combined income, we make about $5,600..

Hey, Cheyenne, are you inside of a tunnel? by any chance? We're having a real hard time hearing you.

No. I'm so sorry. Can you hear me now?

Yeah.

Perfect.

Maybe stand completely still and talk like a ventriloquist and see if we can get that through. So what is your combined income?

Well, I don't have it all, but I know that we make about $5,000 or $5,600 a month.

Okay, and you're both working, correct?

We are. My husband makes $17 an hour, and I make $13, but we're kind of working on also me changing career paths. Right now I'm a dental assistant, and he works on sewer lines and sewer mains and stuff.

So what are you wanting to transition to?

Something that's more, I don't know, like office work or something. I don't really have a set. Okay.

And did I hear you say you guys owe $59,000 on the house? Yeah. You have nothing other than that? That's the only debt?

Nothing other than that. We'll see, Dave Ramsey, and hopefully by we're 30..

I love it. We'll have our house paid off. And can I presume that you have a fully funded emergency fund?

We do. We have three months of, if we don't work, it's funded. We have $20,000 in there right now.

Let me say this. I understand your hubs. I mean, he's scared. You guys are really young, by the way. So I get the provider gland, but I'm going to defer to my friend over here, the mama, the wife.

When do you tell them when to have kids?

Well, no, it's not your responsibility to tell them when, but what do you think? Because I think you guys decide what is it he's worried about. Yeah.

Well, and also, Cheyenne, we never, and you can tell your husband this, when it comes to kids or getting married, we never tell people you need to be in a certain financial spot. So even if you guys had $30,000 student loans and you wanted to have a baby, we would tell you to go on with your life. Financially, is it going to be more stressful there? Sure. I would never say not to have kids or not to get married because of financial reasons.

Yeah. So I do want to add that we've been married, we got married in August of 2020.. So we have been married for a little bit. We got married young, but we act like an old married couple.

I appreciate that.

Listen, I just think this is, listen, here's the deal. I don't care what the issue is. You want it. He doesn't right now.

Yeah, that's it. And I really think it's because he's scared.

100%.

I don't think it has anything to do with financial.

It has nothing to do with it. He's terrified. So what you have to do is his wife, you want something. I mean, you got to get onto his page for a minute in order to get him onto your page. That's all that is.

Yes.

Did he say he wanted to have kids? I mean, when you guys got married, I mean.

Yes, he does want to have kids, but not like right now. I would have had him yesterday. I mean.

Yeah. I get that. And I think that that's, and that's normal too. You guys are not like bizarre people. I feel like that happens a lot.

Welcome.

One wants one. Welcome. This thing, this. Well, we got to get to the root of what's really going on. Yeah.

At the earliest. She's from, she's from Nashville. Cheyenne, if you like country music, pull up a golden oldie by Diamond Rio called Meet in the Middle. The chorus is great. I'd start walking your way.

But yeah, but back to Cheyenne's, you know.

Yeah, that is really it. Like you got to meet in the middle on money, discussions, children, a lot of stuff.

And I would, yes. And I've heard two different sides of this piece of advice. I'd be curious what you say. I've heard some people say compromise is the worst word, because that means somebody, you both lose or somebody loses, or whatever, whatever, whatever.

That's interesting.

But I think I found, I'm like, yeah, but there's going to be times that Winston wants to do something and I have to say, I don't want to, but selflessly, okay, I'm going to go. And then, same on the other side, right? There's stuff that I want to do, that he's like, oh, geez, another vacation, whatever. He's like, okay, we'll do it. And I'm like, there's give and take in marriage.

Whoever said that about compromise is probably bordering on the narcissistic side. I mean, you had to give something up. Yeah, yeah, you did.

It's called marriage.

It's called, well, it's called, I'm going to sacrifice.

Yeah.

I'm going to serve, which is a form of give. You said give and take. I don't think it's that harsh. I think it is, you know what? There have been times in our marriage.

And I shared the story at Money in Marriage that I, the second kid, Winston, was ready and I wasn't. We had like three trips coming up and Zika was a thing. Oh, I remember that. And I was like, if I get pregnant, we can't, you know, we can't go on these trips. And he's like, we, our life is dictating our schedule, or our schedule is dictating our life.

That is. And she is as sweet as you think. Love, sweet Caroline. She really is. She's a doll.

All week.

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I bet your books are in the store, Ken.

My books are in the store. My kids need shoes. Don't forget that. So we'd appreciate that. If you're looking to make a change in 2024 in your professional life to make more money or just get more meaning, you can just check out the Ken Coleman books, of course.

I know. We came up with the Navy. Wow.

That's pretty nice. I could get a Michigan block him on that.

Yes, you could, sir. Yes, you could.

The week-long Cyber Monday sale is at RamseySolutions.com slash store. RamseySolutions.com slash store. All right, Sandra. We're going to go back to Sandra in Boston, Massachusetts. Sandra, you're on the Ramsey Show.

Yes, I'm there.

You sound like you may be in a tunnel.

Oh, I'm right in front of the window because I had to move positions.

Can you put your phone up to your mouth?

Yes, it's right in my mouth.

Oh, it's in your mouth. That's why it sounds like you're in a cave. I want you to pull the phone out of your mouth and put it next to your mouth.

My question is I'm interested in purchasing a home, and right now I live in an apartment. Purchasing a home, then the mortgage would be twice as much as my apartment. I live by myself. My child is grown. She's not with me, and I wanted to know if it would be a good idea to purchase a home.

Sandra, what do you make a month?

About $8,000, $9,000 a month.

Okay, and do you have any debt?

I have about $50,000, $45,000 to $50,000 below.

Do you have any savings?

I have $50,000 in the bank.

How much?

$50,000 in the bank.

$50,000?. Yes. Great.

But I would consider a different cell phone plan. That might be our first purchase. Let's go to Grant in San Antonio, Texas. Grant, how can we help?

Hey, how's it going, guys? Good. So I am 24, and I just had kind of a massive change in income in my life in the past six months. So I just wanted some advice on how to handle this properly. I was making about $60,000 a year.

Come on, Grant. That's fantastic.

Thank you, guys. Yeah, so I have no car payment. I have very minimal credit card debt because it's all expensed at the end of the month for my company.

Yeah, well, that's a great question. What will she be making after you guys get married?

Right now, she's probably going to keep her job. She's right around $55,000 to $60,000 a year.

Okay, fantastic. You guys are going to be doing amazing. I think paying off all your debt for sure is the first priority and knowing why the credit card debt was there and all of that, fixing the symptom, not just the symptom, but the actual problem too. Right. But as far as where to put your money, I would do, for sure, just an emergency fund of three to six months of expenses.

Six and a half percent right here.

Doing pretty good.

That's what I got.

And high-yield savings, isn't that amazing? So yeah, so all that's keeping up with inflation. So I wouldn't worry too much. I wouldn't park all my money in just a regular savings account or a CD for my whole life. But I think you'll do some investing and kind of spread some of that money around.

Yeah, no, it is. And really what we're looking at, too, is we're both set up in 401K. Her company matches 4%. My match is 6%. So we have it maxed out, so it's free money at the end of the day.