the ethics of anti-aging, i’m ranting again

Getting older is exciting because it means that you're unlocking new adult activities, you're unlocking new mature responsibilities, and there's something really exciting about that. This year, I turned 23 and I realized that's sort of over for me. Birthdays moving forward are not really going to be unlocking.

Exciting things anymore. Birthdays for me, for the remainder of my life, are just going to be a marker of me being a year older now. For some people, that's exciting. Birthdays are still exciting because it's a symbol of surviving another year on this planet, which is an accomplishment, and that's beautiful.

Some people see it as a sign that their youth is escaping them and that life is only getting worse from here. Depending on who you are, birthdays after a certain point can become even more exciting or even more daunting. It just depends on who you are. Personally, I'm pretty neutral. I am not particularly afraid of getting older, which is shocking because I'm usually afraid of everything.

I haven't always been that way, but over the last few years I've developed a sensitivity to reality. I don't know. I was never afraid of dying as a kid. Oh, that's not true. Well, it is.

I wasn't afraid of myself dying. I was afraid of everyone else dying, like people around me dying, but I wasn't afraid of me dying. Growing up, I was not concerned about me, about my well-being. I was very anxious about other people, my parents especially, and their well-being, but I was never concerned about my own. And as I've grown older, my concern for my loved ones has remained. But I have also developed a concern about myself that is very, at times, distracting.

So you would think, okay? As Emma grows, she's becoming more protective of herself, more concerned about her health and well-being. She's probably afraid of aging, because what is aging getting closer to death? But shockingly, I'm not. I'm not disturbed by it, which is a relief.

It's a breath of fresh air for me. Like, I love to hear that come out of my mouth, that I'm not afraid of something. But I will say that it feels like, societally, we are afraid of aging. Growing up, I saw endless anti-aging commercials, anti-aging facial moisturizer, anti-aging supplements, makeup that makes wrinkled skin look smoother, hair dye that covers gray hair the best. You know, like, we've all grown up watching our elders try to cover up their aging.

And I think it sort of makes sense, you know why we're societally afraid of aging? I think for the most part it comes down to vanity, which is funny. Because I would argue the scariest thing about aging is the fact that your body in a way is decaying. That's terrifying. But again, societally, it seems that we're most concerned about what it looks like on the outside, what aging looks like aesthetically, right? That seems to be the loudest topic when it comes to getting older.

It's about what you look like, not how you feel or what's really happening inside of your body. Do you know what I'm saying? And maybe this is just the media that I've been consuming over the course of my life. But I would say it's a pretty loud conversation and it's a pretty big concern. I did some research, like surface-level skimming research about why we're afraid to look older, and it seems like it's because youth is strongly associated with health and fertility.

Since younger people are expected to have more time to reproduce, these evolutionary accounts offer one reason why many regard young people as more attractive than older people. It's not just a societal beauty standard younger is more beautiful. In a way. It's sort of biological. The animal in us wants to reproduce, and so naturally, we're going to be more attracted to what looks the most fertile.

That's somewhat reassuring when it comes to why we feel this way and why this is such a prominent topic and concern. I mean, I think that there are other reasons why people are afraid of aging. There's a lot of pressure being an adult, I feel like the older you get, the more pressure there is. To have achieved something, to have accomplished certain things, to have everything figured out.

Every year that goes by, the pressure builds, and I would say societally, there's an expectation again. Understandably so, because the older you get, the wiser you get. And yeah, you're just sort of expected to have shit figured out, whereas when you're younger, you can fuck up left and right.

As long as you get back on the horse, everyone's going to be on your team. For the most part. Because you're young. And it's expected that you make mistakes, and it's expected that you don't have it all figured out yet. And it's expected that you haven't accomplished all that you're going to accomplish in your life. But the older you get, the more that that goes away, that leniency, I guess, about what you're up to. I think people fear that, I think a lot of people also fear that becoming an adult means not having fun anymore.

And I know many adults that completely disagree with that, but that is a fear that I've heard many people discuss. Oh, no, you know, when I get older, then I'm going to have a family and I'm excited about that. But also, I won't be able to travel as much, I won't be able to go out with my friends as much. All of these things that I consider to be fun are not going to be a priority for me anymore.

They can't be. Or, oh, I'm getting older and I might not be able to play my favorite sport anymore. I don't know if my body will allow me to at a certain point. Or, you know, you get the idea. I think that there's a fear that the fun ends at a certain point, or the fun slowly dissipates over time.

I don't think that that's necessarily true, but I think that that's another reason why people fear aging. And then, last but not least, there are obviously people who fear aging for what it truly is. On a cellular level, which is dying and not being alive anymore. That's fucking frightening, I don't need to get into that. I think we all are aware enough about how frightening that is.

With all that being said, I do think it's interesting that the hottest topic is the fear of physically aging. Looking older. And I've been thinking about this a lot recently. Because even though I'm still young and I'm not necessarily showing signs of physical aging much yet. I have some wrinkles on my forehead and around my mouth, sure, but leave me the fuck alone, okay, there are a lot of people my age in their early 20s, getting work done, getting botox, getting filler, drinking out of special straws so that they don't get wrinkles around their mouth, the list goes on.

But it's starting now, and so I've been thinking about it a lot. How do I plan on physically aging? I'm not stoked about dying, however, it's so inevitable that I've come to terms with that.

I'm frightened about my body decaying and not feeling, you know, good anymore, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. I'm sure that I'll have fun for the rest of my life. I think that that's a choice and I'm going to do my best to choose to have fun for the rest of my life.

I'm not really concerned about that. The area that I'm the most confused is the vanity element, the external piece of it all. What am I going to do? I feel like there are sort of two roads that you can go. When it comes to physically aging, you can go the all-natural route, which means you accept it as it comes.

You can take care of yourself physically, exercise, eat well, sleep good, manage your stress, you know, take care of your physical body. You can go out of your way to do that, I would say, and still fall under this sort of natural aging category. But you're not going and dyeing your hair to cover the gray, you're not getting botox, you're not getting filler.

You're not getting a facelift, you're not getting liposuction, you're not getting skin-tightening treatments, you're not using anti-aging facial products. You're just kind of letting it happen.

So there's one way that you can go, and then the other way you can go is. You can utilize the procedures and tactics that we have today to look as young as you possibly can, you can dye your hair, you can use anti-wrinkle products, you can get Botox.

You can get filler, you can get a facelift. There's all these different lasers and tools and things that you can use on your body to make yourself look younger. And you can go that direction too. Now, I'm not going to lie.

I'm really conflicted because there are things that I enjoy about both paths. I would say that there's pros and cons to both. Let's start with the all-natural route. I think that there's something really empowering about accepting the inevitable, about owning the inevitable, and about sort of living your fullest truth in a way.

Your fullest truth is that you have gray hair and that you have wrinkles, and that your skin sags in some areas, and that you have discoloration on your legs. From where there's sunspots, there is something really beautiful about that, and about making the most of it. Saying I'm going to take the best care of my body as I can so that I can look and feel great in my natural form. There's something beautiful about that, because you're truly accepting who you are at your age and the beauty that that is, but also you're free.

You're free in a way, it's so stressful to chase this idea of looking as young as possible, for as long as possible. It's sort of an unattainable goal, too. Because in your imagination, if you're on the journey of using anti-aging methods to look as young as possible. There's no exact endpoint for that, which is very stressful. You might go and get a procedure done, you might go and get a facelift.

But now you're like.

The skin on my arms is sort of a bit wrinkly, it's a bit saggy. Maybe, well, maybe I need to get that done, too. It becomes this hamster wheel of procedures, and you never feel like you arrive at a point where you're like, I feel satisfied with what I look like. Maybe some people feel that way.

I think that that can be great, and we'll discuss that when we discuss the benefits of going the non-natural route. But there's this risk of getting addicted to looking younger and younger and younger, and changing this, this and that about yourself. Whereas if you're choosing to do none of it and just take good care of yourself, there's something so freeing about that. You're not at the mercy of your procedures, you're just accepting what nature chooses to do to your body as time passes and it's out of your control, which is kind of a relief.

You can't control what gets a wrinkle next, but there's something sort of beautiful about just accepting that and letting it happen. Whereas when you go the unnatural route, it is in your control. Because it's up to you. If you get filler in your cheekbones, it's up to you. if you get filler in your under eyes, it's up to you if you book the facelift.

It's up to you if you get a laser treatment on your skin. Do you see what I'm saying? There's something beautiful about letting go and letting nature just do it, and I think that's amazing. And I hate to be cynical, but I also understand not loving every single nook and cranny of your body.

Now, in an ideal world, we all accept our bodies for exactly what they are. That's a lot to ask of us in a way, especially because we live in such a vain time. Societally, it is sort of a lot to ask. That we don't ever feel insecure about anything, that we accept every single nook and cranny of our bodies. That would be phenomenal if we could all do that.

But I think it's in some ways an unfair ask. And there are all of these treatments available to enhance the way that we look, to get rid of our insecurities. And to be someone who decides, you know what, I'm just going to age naturally, but then to feel pigeonholed by that, like, fuck. But I kind of do wish I could get botox in this one area, or, ah, I wish I could go and get filler in this one area. Like, oh, you know, I would love to get a laser treatment to help smooth my skin in this area.

This is an insecurity, and for a chunk of money, I could make that insecurity go away. I kind of wish I could go do it, I kind of want to go do it. Like, is it fair to yourself to say, you know what? I'm going to reject the societal pressure to look as young as possible, and I'm just going to let myself age naturally. And this is the hill that I'm going to die on.

Is it fair to yourself to do that when there are all of these things available that maybe could alleviate some of your insecurities? Listen, I love the idea of a world where none of us have any insecurities. None of us want to go and get these cosmetic procedures. On the other hand, when it comes to going the unnatural route, you know, participating in these anti-aging cosmetic procedures, they're there, they're available.

And if you can manage to have a healthy relationship with these procedures, and what I mean by healthy is something that's non-addictive. You know, if you are at a place where you're like, I accept myself for who I am, I love myself as much as I possibly can. But also there are things about aging that I don't like, I don't like the way that my wrinkles look.

I don't like how my hair looks when it's gray, you know, I might as well get a facelift. Why not? If you can manage to have a healthy relationship with these procedures in a way that's rational. And is that even possible?

I don't know, I don't know, because I've never gotten any cosmetic procedures done, I've never even done my lips, I've done nothing, okay.

Absolutely nothing, no botox, no filler. The most that I've ever done is get like one of those electromagnetic facials that I don't know, kind of like, snatches your face. I hate the word snatch.

Snatches your face. You know, that's the most I've ever done, but I've never done anything else. And because I have an experience that I can't say for sure. If there's a way to have a healthy relationship with changing your physical body, I don't know.

I don't know at the end of the day, I'm analyzing this for me because I don't give a fuck what anyone else does. It is none of my business and that's the end of that. So my reason for asking the question, like, is it possible for people to have a healthy relationship with cosmetic procedures? is because that's just data for myself.

Like, okay, if 70 of people can't form a healthy relationship with getting cosmetic procedures, well, then my likelihood is maybe not great. All of this to say, I think there is something kind of cool about the fact that this shit is available, you know? And there's also something to be said for the fact that we only live once. Do we need to go and be the hero who rejects all beauty standards and goes the all natural route?

I don't know does that even make you a hero? That's a huge question. Does it even make you a hero? It's so perplexing.

Like, what is the way to go? Because I also think that if there's something out there that's gonna make you feel better about yourself. Even if, in theory, we should accept ourselves for exactly who we are, that's unrealistic to ask of ourselves all the time, right? If there's something out there that could make us feel better about ourselves, it's right there. And we could do it, and we're doing it responsibly. Is there a reason to not do it? I would say the only reason not to do it is because it's promoting and adding to the new body standard, the new beauty standard.

The new beauty standard is not natural, the new beauty standard is having different enhancements for the most part. If you look at the people who are setting the beauty standard. For the most part, all of them have some sort of cosmetic procedure done to them, and that is sort of disturbing.

I mean, I think beauty standards in general are disturbing and a shitty part of being human, but it's particularly disturbing that the body standard now is based on certain enhancements. It is kind of interesting, though, that it's more accessible than ever to fit the beauty standard, not necessarily financially, because these procedures are very expensive. It's interesting because, on one hand, it's unnatural, which is kind of horrible. Because no one is ever going to be born into the beauty standard, or very rarely will people be born into the beauty standard anymore. It's become something that is non-human almost, which means, in order to get it, you have to go and change something about yourself for the most part. But then, on the other hand, it's weird because anyone can go do it.

Not anyone, because obviously, again, there's a financial barrier, but technically anyone can go and book an appointment to go get a procedure done. It's very interesting and it's morally very confusing, because again, it all comes back to this is something that's available and if it's going to make you feel better about yourself. Should you not do it for the sake of rejecting the beauty standard, or should you make a decision that's more based on your own feelings? And let yourself do it? Because who gives a fuck? At the end of the day, you got to take care of yourself and if you want to go do something, hell, you should be able to go do it. This is sort of my dilemma again. I don't care what other people do.

If you want to go and get surgery and make yourself look like a two-year-old because you want to look really, really young. Okay, I don't care. That's none of my business. Go ahead and book that appointment. My God, be my guest, it is none of my fucking business.

It has nothing to do with me, however, I am again analyzing this for myself. You know, I go back and forth on it all the time. I really do, and there's a lot of factors that I consider, for example, I have a history of really bad body dysmorphia.

That makes me vulnerable to becoming addicted to various procedures, possibly overdoing it, you know, getting too much done and looking not human anymore. Because of my body dysmorphia. Like, I am at risk of that because I have suffered from that so much. So that's a factor that I consider, I also consider my happiness, what's going to make me happy?

I almost think that there's no way to predict. You know, I might turn 60 years old and say, fuck it. I want to get a facelift, you know, that's what I want to do. That's going to make me happy, That's something that's going to make me feel good.

It's not going to fulfill me, but that's something I want to do. Maybe that is what I'm going to want to do. But I also love the idea of going the natural route and setting myself free from that. Ah, fuck, I don't know, I don't know what I'm going to do.

I will say, I'm not doing anything now. You know, the most that I do now is eat well, exercise. I quit vaping. I have not vaped in a very long time. I'll hit a vape every once in a while.

If somebody has a vape around me and they're blowing it in my face, I'll say, if you don't fucking let me hit that, it's done. I'm throwing that thing out the fucking window. Which is ironic. Because I used to be hitting my vape all the time in front of everyone, but you know, I'll hit a friend's vape every once in a while if it's around me.

Rarely, like maybe once a month, if that, I've gone months without it, so I quit that.

I'm not, you know? I keep my drinking under control. I go through long phases of not drinking and then I'll have little phases of drinking too. Because I've got to live a little. I don't do any drugs at all, in fact, I'm not into that.

I try to manage my sleep and my stress as best as I can, so that again, so that I'm in the healthiest state possible. I'm going to do that for as long as I can, and I might never get botox, I might never get filler.

I might never get a facelift, I might never get the laser treatments done, I might go the all-natural route. But I don't want to say that because I don't know if I'm ready to die on that hill. Fuck, I wish I was, though.

Like, I wish I could say, with every fiber of my being. I know for a fact that that's the route I'm going to go. Because although I think I'm morally aligned with that, I also think that you only live once. And if something's going to make you feel good and you can do it in a healthy way, and it's available. I can't decide if it's like having a devil and an angel on your shoulder. Like, is running away from aging wrong? is getting cosmetic procedures done wrong?

I don't think so, but I don't know again, I'm not saying it's wrong. is it wrong for others? I'm more talking about?

Is it wrong for me? Like, Do I not align with that?

I don't know, I don't know, like for myself, I don't know for the world, I don't care, do whatever you want.

For me, I don't know, but I do have this overwhelming feeling in my gut. That anytime that you are running away from the truth, you're running away from the inevitable. You'll fail in a way. And aging and getting wrinkles and getting gray hair is inevitable. It's the truth of the situation. It's almost like how you can't have your cake and eat it, too.

I've never once in my life been able to have my cake and eat it too. There's certain truths in life that you can't avoid. aging is one of them. But also treating people badly is another one. Like, you can't treat your friends badly, but then also keep those friendships for the rest of your life.

Friends are going to leave, you can't date somebody who's bad for you and then be happy. You don't get to run away from aging and not have it bite you in the ass in some way. Maybe I think that there's levels to it.

And I really do think it depends on the person and I think it's going to be curious to see what happens. It's also even weirder, I think, for me, because I am in the public eye, and, you know, my appearance is heavily scrutinized, not heavily.

I'm lucky I don't get it nearly as bad as other public figures, but I do get judged for my appearance. 1,000. In fact, something that comes to mind is some news outlet posted an article. The title of the article was, Gen Z is aging worse than other generations?

Why is this the case? Is it because of cosmetic surgeries, like, why are they aging badly? And it was a photo of me wearing no makeup, you know, you can see my forehead lines.

I have lines on my forehead from being very emotive, you know? I had dark circles under my eyes, my eyes look kind of deep set in the photo. I had maybe a bit of wrinkles around my mouth in the photo because I was making a facial expression. And they used my photo to demonstrate how Gen Z is not aging.

Very well, okay, that kind of ticked me off, but it didn't bother me. It's fine, I don't care.

I'm not as upset by that, but it's also because I am still young and I'm not showing that many signs of aging yet. So it's not bothering me yet, but it's like, is it going to bother me at some point?

I can't predict that. I hope that I only become more accepting of myself as I grow older. But being in the public eye is weird, you know, because everybody is commenting about your appearance at all times. People are obsessed with the way that celebrities look, the way that public figures look.

And I wonder how being in the public eye will impact the way that I choose to go. Part of me feels like it's an act of rebellion and a cool one at that to be in the public eye. But to reject all of that and to say, you know what, No, somebody's got to look like a fucking normal 50-year-old woman for fuck's sake. But then part of me is like, Do I want to deal with the scrutiny that comes with that?

Do I want to deal with the comments that come with that? Am I really being a hero by doing that? I'm not sure. And so that's something I'm still thinking about a lot. So it's safe to say that I haven't come to any sort of conclusion when it comes to my own path.

But it is something that I'm thinking about a lot and I am curious to see what I end up doing. I'm talking about it as though it's not ultimately up to me. But I can't predict the way that I'm going to feel. Which is why I'm not telling you today that I'm going to go the all-natural route, like I kind of want to. I'm afraid of saying that I can't die on that hill. Right now, it's too soon to say.

But it's definitely what I'm shooting for. I would really like to go that route because I think it aligns with my morals more so than the other route. And it seems freeing in a way. The reason why I say it aligns with my morals. More is because I really try to let my personality and my soul be my identity more than my appearance. It's not to say that my appearance is not a part of my identity, because it absolutely is. The way that I present myself is undeniably a part of my identity.

It is a part of everyone's identity, whether they like it or not. But I try to have my personality and my soul be the majority of my identity, and I try to find my worth there. I also believe in trying to accept oneself for exactly what they are, and to appreciate the beauty of that. But in a society where that is not happening, it feels like you must be superhuman in a way to reject that. Especially in the bubble that I'm in, the bubble of entertainment. So all of that being said, we'll see, we'll see what I end up doing and what ends up....

Yeah, I don't know, I don't know, anyway. My closing statement is, I'm just talking through my own personal experience and my own personal morals and ethics and values when it comes to these things. But it's not in any way to be better than anyone else. I'm trying to figure out what it means to do the right thing for me. Doing the right thing for you has nothing to do with me. And no way of living life is necessarily better than the other.

Going the natural route is not necessarily better morally than going and getting cosmetic procedures done to prevent it. You know what I'm saying? I have to figure out what feels right for me, what feels morally right for me, but there is no morally right necessarily. And so I want to make that clear, because if you're like, Well, fuck, I want to get a facelift, what's wrong with that?

There's nothing wrong with that. It's none of my business. So you get what I'm saying here. All I'm saying is that don't take this personally, this has nothing to do with you.

I would hope that it makes you think about what's right for you in a way. That's helpful. Because I think that it's important to analyze these things before we make decisions, you know? And to weigh the pros and cons of all options, and to weigh the risks of different methods of living. And I think that is very important and I would want to inspire that. But I don't want to make anyone feel bad about, you know, maybe leaning towards the opposite route of me. Because, again, there is no right and wrong in a broad sense, there's just a right and wrong for oneself. And it's a journey to figure that out, and only you can figure it out, and so that's what I'm doing anyway, that's all I have to say.

Hopefully you enjoyed this and if you did. New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday, you can stream anywhere you get podcasts. Video is exclusive on Spotify, though you can follow anything goes on Instagram, TikTok, all the platforms at anything goes.

You can follow me on all the platforms at Emma Chamberlain or Emma Chamberlain. You can check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee. We might be in a store near you, you can go to chamberlaincoffee..com and go to the store locator and see if we're in a store near you. Or you can just order online and it'll deliver to your door, as it works when you order things online. That's all I have.

Thank you all for listening and hanging out and hearing me out. And I'm very curious to hear what you have to say about the topic and where you stand on it. So please let me know and I'll talk to you so soon. I love you all and appreciate you all and thank you for supporting me and listening to me talk. You're awesome, all right, talk to you soon bye.