Avoid Decades Of Financial Stupidity With These Simple Steps

Hi, how are you?

So I have a bunch of questions, but my husband and I are definitely in need to help with overall financial plan. We have more than over a million dollars in debt. Whoa. What's it in? What's the debt in?

Well, we went through a really long school life. Okay. So student loans. So our student loan was a million when we graduated. Oh my gosh.

Wait, you can't just.

So they pay for that. So just dental, four years of dental loan, we have a million dollars together. Okay, but you earn a lot of money, right? I sure hope so.

So now we came down to like $750.

. Also, you know, we're proud of it. But since he's in the military, we don't actually earn that much money. But the good news is he's getting off of military and we're going to start a new job where our minimum income will be about.

When does that start?

Well, that's the great news of this story, Amy.

What are?

But then I was thinking that our sumo is so high, we decide to sell this house, pay our, you know, all the mortgage. If you sell it, what will it bring? Doesn't bring much, because our, our financial advisor told us to pay as minimum as possible. So we actually didn't pay that much off. Okay.

We bought this not that long ago, actually, not even three years ago. So we are trying to sell this and then not even buy another.

And then, where are you moving to? If you sell the house, how much will it bring? And what do you plan on doing with that money? Like, give us a few more.

Maybe $40k. And that's after fees and whatnot from the realtor and everything like that. Okay. So the $40k, you're thinking you're going to roll that into a new mortgage when you move this summer for this job? Is that what you're thinking?

So, Amy, here's going to be your, here's going to be your struggle. It's not going to be income. And usually, when we're talking to people like this, we're like, you got to get side hustles, all this, all this. And, honestly, with what you guys have, you can have us paid off in a year and a half, but your problem is going to be, Amy, that you guys are going to, if, if me and Jade were in this position, I would just tell you, like both of us with our spouses, our decisions would probably be very similar. We're getting a one bedroom apartment.

We're living as cheap as possible for two years. And, Amy, the biggest struggle that's going to happen is you're going to get into this new job, into this dental world, where people are making insane money, which is great. And they should, they do great work, but they're going to be living insane lives. I mean, to make $600,000 a year, the trips,

the trips, the cars, the out to eat, the parties, the gay, I mean, everything you could imagine, Amy, is the world you're about to step into and you're not going to be a part of it. And you're going to say for a year and a half, 18 months, 24 months, we are not going to live like we make $60,000, $600,000.. We're going to live like we make $60,000.. And I'm telling you the faster that you can just stay in this mentality and get through this, Amy,

the unbelievably better part this is going to be. Not only are you going to appreciate that $600,000 even more, but you're done with this mess. I mean, yes, your shovel is big and a million dollars is big, but it's a million dollars. I think, to anyone, I mean, it's a gasp, like it's a lot. And if you just act normal in this, you're going to keep this around for five, six years and you'll make the payments and you'll figure it out.

But it's just going to be floating where we want more intensity and be done. And then you can go get a bad day home. I mean, you can get so much. You can do so much with this.

So you, and you don't know anybody yet. There's no standard to keep up. Like you can fly under the radar, do your thing. And then, after a year and a half, you can pop out like what's good. Let's take a trip.

Let's spend some money. So, Amy, the faster you get rid of this,

Congrats on the big education and the big salary, but make some right decisions here. This is the Ramsey Show.

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If you're ready for it, you have two choices for claiming tax deductions and understanding the difference can save you big bucks. So basically, we're saying we're going to teach this to you. You can understand it. It doesn't have to be like this big mystical equation. We can help you through this.

So two choices for claiming tax deductions and understanding these differences. You can either take the standard deduction or the itemized deduction. You've probably heard those two phrases before. Both options can lower your tax bill, but which one is the best? That depends on your tax situation.

So let's take a closer look, shall we? Yes. Okay. Taking the standard deduction is the easiest one. And it's the one that most people do.

It subtracts a set amount from your taxable income based on your filing status. So let's say that you're single and you make $65,000 a year. The standard deduction is going to knock off close to $14,000.. So you're just going to pay taxes on what's left, which is $51,000 of your income. It's like a freebie, right?

It's like a discount. It's a coupon, if you will.

So you're looking at things like medical expenses, charitable gifts, state sales tax. I'm already starting to fall asleep right now, as I'm talking about this. If it adds up more than the standard deduction, so if it's more than $14,000 based on your tax bracket, it's worth it to itemize. So that's how this thing works. For more help in making sense of these income taxes and filing with confidence, you can go to ramsaysolutions.com slash tax.

That is ramsaysolutions.

com slash tax. So great. Well done. Well done. Itemized.

Yeah. Do y'all keep up? well? I feel like I could be writing off more if I kept up, but it's like the big chunks, like our charitable gift, that kind of thing that we like. for sure, just do.

But I was just talking to Winston about this the other night. I was like, man, I should keep receipts more and like all of it. But to me, sometimes I'm like, oh, if it's 20 bucks, is it worth like actually doing it? But people that do it and who have jobs in areas where they can take some of those deductions, it's worth it. Like you, have to be a real, like bean counter.

Hi, Tord. Welcome to the show. Hey, how are you guys doing? We're doing great. How.

It's all right. And my biggest question is, um, I don't have enough money. I'm getting about four. I don't have any savings right now, but, um, I, I'm going to lump sum for my unemployment, uh, about $4,000.. And I don't really have any bills.

I'm a truck driver and I'm over the road. I don't pay rent or anything like that. So it's very easy for me to, uh, table a bunch of money. Okay. So my, my question would be, what is the best approach to this?

Should I, did? I owe about $18,000 in the car? Okay. Um, I've seen it's worth about, they were selling, you know, selling a used law about 16, 17,000 for my research. So we'll, we'll sort of credit pit standpoint.

So they already repoed it with. my best course of action is to have them to sell it and then have me pay the difference, which I'd be able to do.

So I was just doing the bare mims to survive and support my habit. Okay. And, uh, and I, I'm now, uh, you know, I've been sold for two months and trying to get everything back together again. Wow. Congratulations.

That's, that's huge. You.

Thank you. So you owe, you owe $2,000 in back payments. What about the cost of the repo and everything like that? What are those fees associated? I don't know at.

If I was to do it right now, it'd be about 2,500.

. Well, I doubt I'll get my unemployment check within the next two weeks.

Right. So, um, versus it just going off in the, I would, I would do what I can to talk to them and say, Hey, in the next, yeah. Uh, two weeks, are you sure that you're going to get this check in two weeks? That's my only fear. You thought you were going to get it earlier and you did it.

It's the government. I'm not sure. Yeah. Are you working now? Yeah, I'm working now.

Um, I'm making a month.

Um, so, if I were you, I would, you said you have no expenses. I mean, I would try to save, I would work extra, uh, do what you can to save that 2000.. I'll probably end up being, you know, 2,500 after the, all the, you know, the fees that you're going to have with those back payments and try to save that within the next two to three weeks. And if you get the unemployment check as well, it's great that that's gravy. Yes.

But I would make a plan on my own. And again, this may be you working outside, you know, doing some extra work, even outside of your day job. I mean, doing what you can, because I think, um, owing 18,000 without an asset and you're starting from zero to pay that, it just seems so much more defeating than, than getting it back, right. Working a month, but I would call, I would call them, contact them, make a plan,

And thing two is get current on all of your bills, cell phone, water, all of your utilities. get current. Yep. And.

It's a life insurance is the one thing, especially as a mom with three little kids, that I'm like so big on for people to get, because it's inexpensive. Zander is the place that Winston and I actually get all of our life insurance. And it doesn't cost much.

to get a free quote, call 800-356-4282.

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So many of the callers that we have been getting, I just feel.

It's one of the best ways to get the word out, because we want to help people all over, all over the world now, which is amazing that we're not, you know, just here in America, Jay, thanks to the internet and podcasts, we are and YouTube, we are, we're all over. And we hear from you guys, literally all over the world, who want to get in control of this idea when it comes to your money and the tool that it is in your life and how to put it in the right position in your life. Because for so many people, it is such a struggle and it's the thing that controls them. And we want that narrative flipped for you. And so again, one of the ways to bring that hope and to, and to, uh, have other people hear about this is sharing the show.

So share it with your friends and family, subscribe as well, leave a review, uh, on any of the podcasts or shows that you, uh, listen to, because we, we read those. We want to know your feedback. So we are, we are here for you guys. That is our job. We sit in these studios, uh, day in and day out, because we want, we want you to get control, get control of your money, your relationships, your career and all of it.

So, all right, we're gonna go to the phones and we have a Joey in Manhattan. Hey, Joey, welcome to the show.

So my question is is it okay for me to stop putting money towards retirement to save up cash quicker? Cause I feel like I'm losing out if I sell the stocks, but that might also be an okay route to go to.

And I take the, the stocks and some of your emergency fund, I'd pay off the 19,000.

. And then, with what's left, I'd say, okay, this is the beginnings of my three to six months of expenses. And so the way that I would calculate three to six months of expenses for you, since you live with your family, is I would start looking around at places that I want to rent. And I'd go, okay, if I were to rent this place, how much is it going to, going to cost me along with, you know, food and groceries and everything like that. And I would build a three to six months of emergency fund based on those numbers, because the fact is, at some point you are going to move out and you're going to want that emergency fund to cushion that lifestyle.

Right. That's true. Fair enough. So, yeah. So, so, as we're looking at these numbers,

So you'll have anywhere from 15 to $17,000 and keep that in a high yield savings, kind of earmark that as your emergency fund. And then, yeah, I think, Joey, your next best step is to be looking around. and yeah, you may not want to buy right now, whether it's going to take you just forever for a down payment. But renting and I think getting out, I think, is a great, I think that's a great plan. I think, you know, once, once you kind of hit that adult stage in life and you have your own job and all of it, you're kind of itching and you're, and you're, a smart guy.

I mean, you've been investing a ton, which is amazing. But I would just let that money work for you. And since it's not retirement, honestly, I would, yeah, I would not put them in single stocks. I would just do something safer with an emergency fund. And then, once you kind of figure out, okay, where am I going to live?

Then that's when you can press play again on retirements and start putting 15% of your income into that. So if you had an ideal,

Especially if you've paid off this car and you've gone to the point to where your credit score disappears cause you don't have any other money borrowed. That's going to be really important for you. Does that make sense? Okay. Yeah.

So, in terms of renting.

You know, I think it's just good for you. And then that's when you have to start making these real decisions where you're like, okay, I have rent due. Do I, is this salary going to support me? Do I need to be looking? You start making other critical moves in your life to keep you sustained, which I think is really important.

So thanks for the call. Rachel, real talk. Yeah. Let's.

You're.

It would be a want, want situation. It wouldn't be a, I'm not like a black and white deal breaker. It's not like a, absolutely not. Um, but yeah, there, there is a, uh, yeah, there's a little.

I mean, it's everything from having milk in the refrigerator to, I mean, whatever it is, but like, there is so much that you're like, Oh, my gosh, I have to problem solve a lot in life, a lot more when it's this situation. So, 23 years old,

Yeah. Joe, you gotta move out. Once the timeline, the older it gets, it's like, it becomes less of like a,

The rent, all the right people like that, like we, do, live in a.

We're glad you called. This is the Ramsey show.

Welcome back to the Ramsey show. I am, Rachel Cruz, hosting this hour with Jade Warshaw, and we are taking your calls up. next. We have Tate in Montgomery, Alabama. Hi, Tate.

Welcome to the show. Thank you guys. Thanks for taking my call. Absolutely. How can?

And so we've got two car loans left and we're trying to figure out if we should just stay intense, like we are, and we can be done according to the debt snowball calculator by next April. Or if we get the bug of being even more intense and think about selling one and trying to pay cash for another one. And I just wanted your thoughts on that. Yeah. Okay.

Give us some.

The first one,

. And I'm actually upside down on that one, about between eight and 10 grand. I could sell it and make probably 20 on it. Okay. And the other one, let's see, we owe $21,000.

. Oh, wow. Okay. And how much do you guys make a year?

$150,000.

. Okay.

So that one feels like a no brainer to me, since there's money.

We don't want it to reach over that 50% of what you owe, and you guys aren't there. You make $150,000, you owe about $50,000 on your cars. So again, if you guys want to just to buckle down and say, hey, for the next nine to 10, 11 months, we're going to pay off these cars and we're going to stay gazelle, intense and all of it. But you've paid off $21,000 so far, which is incredible, but you got another $21,000, another $29,000.. So it's like, how much do you love these cars?

or how much do you just want to be done? So if I were you, I would just be done with the $21,000, make a nine, go, buy a car, be done. Are you selling both? Yeah. My wheels are turning.

So there's time to think about that. Like, in the next six months, how much money could you save up?

. So that's kind of interesting to me. Like there's some interest in saying, if we continue paying our payments and maybe even a little bit more on all these for the next six months, we can look up and say, okay, we feel good about this. We've got 10, 15 grand saved. Let's sell car number two.

Let's take the money from that and let's clear the upside down on car number one. And then let's buy ourselves a $10,000 van in cash. And now we're off to the races. We have not a payment in the world. And now, in the next six months, we can save up another 10 to $15,000 in cash flow, a second vehicle, which would cause you to have a six month limbo when you're a one car family.

Yep. It's just interesting to think about. You have options.

It is interesting math. It kind of is like one of those, is it a coincidence or is it not?

Five and two.

And I'm fine paying that car off in the next six months or however long it's going to take. As opposed to the plan that I laid out. So you and your wife.

Oh, you wanted us to say you need.

So I would probably pay off that second car, get 9,000, get another car for that, and then work my butt off and pay off that first car, the 29,000.

. Cause, what kind of car is it? Uh, the 29,000.. I'm just curious. Uh, it's a.

And you get it replaced with a cash car. And then the other one, yeah, you can save up and work hard to pay off. Cause you guys make great money. You make 150..

You're doing it well. And the point here is that you're actually working a plan, Tate, and you're going to look up in 12 months. Your life is going to look different. It's just the matter of how fast you want to do it. So yeah, I think, I think getting one of them off the plate just feels like a, whew, okay, we're, we're making it.

Cause you know how hard you've worked to pay off that first $21,000 that you guys have already paid off, right? I mean, it takes a lot of intentionality, a lot of work just to do that. And the question is, do you want that again?

Like sometimes we think, Oh, it's just a car. It's $20,000.. I'm like, no, if you have $60,000 of debt, you sell off a $20,000 car. Now you're only in 40,000.. Like that's, I'm taking that bet every single time.

It's not a bet. It's a deal. I'm taking.

You can look around and see the crap that you bought, that maybe you can try to sell, but sometimes you paid for an experience that you can't sell that right now, vacation or something. Um, so that is when you have those assets that you're able to offload to get you further in this process. It is. And, and it is amazing to me, Jade, the amount of people we talked to who have done this, they've sold the car, they've done the sacrifice. One of the comments that we hear a lot is like, we just didn't realize that we didn't need all this stuff to begin with.

Right. Like when you don't live, when you live without it and actually know that you can have an incredible relationships in your life, you can have all these other parts of your life that are great without all the crap you realize, Oh, my gosh, I'm just fine. We can do this. We can do this. So we are cheering you on, Tate.

You've got this. You've got this. Well, thanks to all the guys in the booth making the show happen. Jade, thank you. Always being a great host with me.

And thank you, America. We'll be back.

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey solutions. It's the Ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create amazing relationships. I am, Rachel Cruz, hosting this hour with Jade Warshaw, and we are answering your questions. So give us a call at 888-825-5225.. Again, it can be about your money.

It can be about your career, your relationships, your life. And we are here to help you sort out the problems, the thoughts that you have, and, hopefully, get you to a good conclusion. So, starting us off is Danielle in Hartford, Connecticut. Hey, Danielle, welcome to the show.

Yes, we took some notes, just so I don't forget to kind of paint the full picture, but here's the situation. So my husband and I are currently on baby steps four, five and six, and we agreed that you both would be the voice or reason for our current dilemma. Okay. So there is a home in our neighborhood about six doors down that the sellers approached us about. They knew that we were looking to potentially move and get a bigger home, and we love our neighborhood.

So it kind of all worked out. This was about six months ago that they approached us. And when they approached us, we stopped throwing money at our current mortgage and started stashing away cash. So we have about $100,000 in savings right now. So I'll give you...

Oh, sorry. Go ahead.

We're looking to purchase the new home for 650, with, of course, today's interest rate. The caveat is that the sellers are looking to close by May one, and then what would they want to remain in the home for 60 days thereafter. So we would obviously have to stay in our current residence prior to moving, and we couldn't sell our home and then roll that equity into a down payment, like we originally had hoped, putting us in a similar position as we currently are, and allowing us to kind of pay off our mortgage in about a year or so.

Okay. And that's my concern, because we're so close to being done with our current mortgage that I just don't want us to.

. Well, my question is, Danielle, you said you have $100,000 saved, correct? We do. Yes. Okay.

And you have $110,000 left on your home, correct?

Correct. So part of me is like, just pay off your house.

they are needing to stay in the house another two months. Is that right? Really, two months you've got,

I would take that money, I would pay it off. And then you have five months to just continue to save and have some money stashed away. And then, when you go to move in, move in, and that means the equity, ideally you would sell your house at $450,000 for what it's, I mean, what, yeah, what could you sell your house for? About $450,000.. Okay.

$450,000.

. Yeah. So then you have a $200,000 mortgage making $500,000..

I mean.

. Yes, but... No mortgage to mortgage.

They love it. And so they did the opposite of downsizing, like some people do, and it worked for them. That's what they valued. And that's great. Right.

Where other people are like, Oh no, I don't want this much work for a house. So I'm going to go down, and that's what they value. Right. So, as long as the numbers work, which in this plan, they would, I wouldn't want to carry two mortgages. I would go ahead and just pay off your house and then sell it.

And then, yeah, you'll have, golly, I mean, you'll, yeah. Throw all that at the house. Yeah. And then you have $200,000 that you owe at that point.

So I don't, I still don't want you to think, Hey, this house is paid for. We can still do this deal and take the mortgage on the other one. Even though you have a house that's paid off. Does that make sense? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Like either way, you still got nervous, whether you pay off the house or not, you've still got to sell it and close and get that money before you make the next house.

Yeah. And that one lender mentioned a HELOC and I was even worried about it. No.

Yep.

I know if the dominoes fell perfectly, it's a beautiful story. It's like, Oh gosh, we get what we've wanted. And you know, we're not in a crazy financial situation. in that point. We can still, you know, pay it off.

Yeah. But the dominoes have to fall really well. The average days on market right.

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I totally get that as a concept, but I think I may have the opposite problem. We were doing well and our baby steps multimillionaires. Very good. But we could have better options for our future if we cut back even more on our expenses. Or maybe I feel that way because for many years, I spent way beyond my means and was just totally stupid with our money, and I'm afraid I will relapse.

How can I get over this mental block and start enjoying our success? Wow. I love this. Listen, I think I can relate to this a little bit. When you've kind of screwed up with your money and you've had to go back and fix all these mistakes, and you feel like you've lost time, and now you've done all of that work, you're on the flip side, it can be hard to turn that switch off and say, okay, let's enjoy some of the fruit of our labor and let's enjoy the lifestyle that we've created because of our smart behavior.

And there's part of this here where I do feel like you need to trust yourself and trust that you've changed your behavior and that you've become a different person and live your life in a state of confidence as opposed to in a state of fear. Because I think, if you're doing all of these financial choices with fear as your driver and fear as your motivator and kind of like penance as the driver, I think that it turns something that's supposed to be really beautiful and really great into something that's kind of negative and I don't deserve it. And it kind of sucks the joy right out of it. And the whole purpose of doing this is the later. It's the so that, and there's joy on the other side of that.

And I really want you to experience that in the right measure. What would you say, Rachel? Yeah. Well, with money,

You can live and give like no one else. So that giving is so crucial. I think saving is so crucial so that you have a future, so that you do have that security and you're being wise. You're changing your family tree. There's a legacy that's changing a mindset with delayed gratification, and that's important.

And, honestly, Jade, I think the spending aspect is not just to enjoy your life, but it also is so that money doesn't have this handle on you, this hold on you. There is something about opening your hand. Generosity can be that visual as well, but also letting some money go, because you can almost become this hoarder, and there's a level of unhealthy control in that extreme. that is just as damaging as someone that just goes and spends everything. And what I think is so important is keeping money at its proper place.

And I think in our world today, it becomes something that we put our identity in, we put our worth in. It's become so elevated, almost like a god, that we worship so much. And when that's the case, that's an unhealthy view of money. Money should be down below. It's a tool to create a life that you love.

That's what it's there for. It's not a thing to worship or to run after. It is to create peace in your life, give you margin, and be able to help people. And so, in order to do that, I think that some savers to an extreme, it can be held up here. It can be this level of, I'm putting it in an improper place.

So I think spending, you have to build another muscle that actually gives you some freedom. in a weird way. I'm saying this as a spender.

Yes. And go and spend some money. And go have a great dinner. Get two appetizers. Go and enjoy.

You can start small, and you'll start to see, okay, I can.

. Again, it doesn't have a hold on me.

You're budgeting every single month. You're carrying the proper insurances. You're investing for your future. And, like Rachel said, you're practicing generosity, and you're challenging yourself on generosity. If you're doing all of those things, and you still have money left over to increase your lifestyle, it's not lifestyle creep.

It's just you're doing good. You're just doing well, and there's nothing bad about that. And you should be able to increase and creep up your lifestyle. if you're increasingly doing well, and you're doing those, what I call five pillars of personal finance. That's kind of the...

If you're doing right, then you get to do right. You get to do more. So that's...

So we have Devin in San Antonio. Hi, Devin. Welcome to the show.

So we have $43,000.

. Okay. Is it consumer debt or mortgage debt? Consumer debt. We still...

We have mortgage debt, but we are actually in a process of downsizing.

And if you stopped contributing, how much have you calculated how much you will have back in your paycheck?

Well, Devin, yeah, I mean,

But you pause retirement because any extra income you can have in your paycheck.

. And again, that includes pausing retirement. If you got a huge tax refund this year, go and change your exemptions to get some cash back in your paycheck. That's overtime. That's cutting expenses.

Whatever it is, to have more margin to throw out the debt is what we are focused on. It's the number one thing. And so investing is part of that, which it freaks a lot of people out, Jay, when they hear the math and they're like, oh my gosh, but my 401k, that's free money. They're going to match it. But there's something about this focus intensity and getting out of debt that much faster, that then you're going to up your retirement savings to 15% of your income, which a lot of people don't even do.

that. Plus the match. Yes, yes, yes. A lot of people, they're doing 4% or 5% of their income. So you're going to be able to definitely catch up and be fine financially, even if you pause for a year, which is what we would recommend.

How old are you guys?

You almost have to be intellectually fair, if you will, because a lot of people are nervous to stop contributions because they're like, I don't want to miss out on this money. I don't want to miss out on this money. But I'm like, as long as you're making debt payments, you're missing out on all of that money that you're putting in payments every month. We have to think about it in both settings. You're either missing out on money in the form of car payments and student loan payments.

And for most people, that's thousands of dollars every month. And we're worried about the 3% match and the $200 over there. So it's kind of like we've got to align on both sides of the equation. And I mean, the truth is, when you start investing, I'm really proud of people for wanting to invest and being forward thinking in that way. But if you do it before you're out of debt and before you have the right amount of savings, your retirement investment becomes your emergency fund.

And people dip into that and have to pay the taxes and fees because of it. And they form bad habits because of it. So there's a way to do this in order so that it's actually retirement savings and that you can enjoy it at the right point. So good. Well, thanks, Devin, for the call.

Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I am Rachel Cruz, hosting this hour with Jade Warshaw. We're taking your calls at 888-825-5225.. Up next, we have Sharon in Springfield. Hi, Sharon.

Welcome to the show.

I say, in a lot of ways. he controls a lot of what we spend and how we spend it. And, you know, we'll have financial discussions and we'll talk about it. But I don't really have a full understanding of our financial picture when we make decisions.

And I'm wondering if it's worth just pulling my money out of our joint account and keeping my money separate so that I can at least budget part of what our income is.

Um, yeah, I think at this point I would be okay with you having your own account. Um, but hear me say, Sharon, that this, um, it's going to fix one part of it, that you're going to have money to be able to spend, but it's not going to fix your marriage. Um, this is a temporary solution to really dive into the deeper parts. because, Sharon, what makes me nervous is, and we've, we've seen situations like this that if you don't know where you're, where the money's going, I would, uh, I, I would be, I would be very highly concerned that there's stuff going on that and other parts of your marriage that you have no clue about. Yeah.

You don't know what he's hiding. Do you have, do you have, do you, do you feel that?

So her making the money great. But even if Sharon was a stay at home mom, my viewpoint would be the exact same. Um, because as a married couple, as, as you guys, you are a team working together and he has control issues. And sometimes Sharon, and I'm going to just say this, and you can correct me in here, but sometimes it puts you in a dangerous situation with a lot of abusive husbands. They use a level of power and control that you can't even go to the grocery store.

And has there been abuse in your, in your marriage, in the past 20 years?

Um, physical abuse? No. Okay. Never. Do you feel like, do you feel in danger?

Like,

No. Um, I feel like my husband is very insecure and so he's trying to keep hold of the money so that I, I can't leave. I know that sounds.

Do you guys have?

They're.

Any bills, do you know how many credit cards he has?

Because, Sharon, he has put you in, he has done this. You're not the crazy one. He has put you in this situation.

So you're not being the bad guy here. You're protecting yourself.

or would he fight that? He would tell me we couldn't afford it.

What does he bring home? I don't know how. that, I don't know exactly.

. Okay. Um, yeah, those are the two ultimatums counseling, and you're, and he's, he's changing by morning or, or, like Rachel said, you're going on and opening an account. And I just want you to know, like you're doing well, like for yourself, you're doing well. And you don't have to stay in a situation where someone is abusing you financially.

And if you stay on the line, Christian's going to pick up and I want to get you with one of our certified counselors. Um, it's just spending seven minutes with you on a radio call. I feel like, is, it doesn't do it justice. Um, I want someone walking with you, Sharon, in this, because this is really important. This is really important.

And I pray your marriage is healed in this process. It's going to be a really hard patch, but I pray redemption of that. I really do. I pray that you both come to the other side and are redeemed in this. But if not,

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Jade, I want to just go back a little bit to the conversation we were having last segments. Um, about a wife, and she didn't have the knowledge of what was going on financially because her husband was, was keeping it from her. Um, and we advise that she needs her own account. There needs to be some separation because there's a level of, of abuse there financially when you have to ask permission for everything. And, um, and that's, and, and, and that those situations are on the fewer end of the spectrum than majority of couples we talked to on the show about joint accounts, because we are promoters of having joint checking accounts.

We think that that is one of the best ways to work together as a couple, as you're working this plan, whether you're getting out of debt or seeing yourself as a united team. So majority of time, Jade, we get calls that, that they're in separate accounts and they're like, okay, do we, do? we combine them? Do we not? And so, for majority of, of couples out there, joint accounts is one of the best things that you can do for your marriage.

When you see yourself as a team and you work together, both sit down, husband and wife, sit down and do a budget together. Both have equal say in what's going on with the money. Um, you know, both show mutual respect in that. And we are locking arms and we're doing this life together. We are married, we share a bed, we share kids, we're sharing our money, we're sharing our life.

When we get married, we are sharing our life. And that is really our.

And it's not an excuse for like, I had posted about this a while back, Rachel, and somebody said, Oh, well, my husband goes to target and just spends without telling me. So my relationship is no longer safe. And I'm like, you, you have to be able to read between the lines and understand what we mean by that. Right. Right.

And so I, um, when I wrote the book, money's not a math problem, I came up with an acronym for that, for keeping your money safe, as a F, E. And I kind of say the S is. you need to seek counsel. If you are experiencing the A, which is addiction of any kind. So if it's gambling, it's pornography, something that's keeping them spending, spending, spending, if there's any kind of abuse.

And, as we saw in the last caller, a lot of people hear the word abuse and they think, okay, this guy's slapping me around, or, you know, maybe they're talking down to me, or, you know, calling me names. But a lot of times it's that financial abuse. Like we saw there, they're not letting you in. They're not giving you the passwords. They're giving you an allowance and you can only go to the grocery store and buy this.

And that is a form of abuse. And when that happens, you've got to seek counsel. And then the E is for evaluate your options. and your options are like what Rachel said, you can form another account and you can separate yourself for the time being. And if that person is unwilling to seek counsel with you, you've got to evaluate and say, what do I need to do next?

Are there children in this situation? Do I need to make some hard lines in the sand? And I'm a, I just don't stand for abuse of any kind. So I have a really hard time telling anybody to wait that out. I'm like, I separate myself from that.

You can always find inroads to get back. But if a person is unwilling to seek counsel on your marriage and your money, that's a hard line in the sand. And it's hard, it's a hard thing to swallow.

That is when you have to protect yourself. And, and I'll say this too, I, we, we talked to, you know, people on all different, you know, income levels, all different parts of the country, all different viewpoints on marriage and roles and a spirituality. I mean, like you can get into all these nitty gritty stuff, but, ladies out there, if you are a stay-at-home mom, you have just as much say at what is going on with the money in your home. Don't just yield that, he's going to just take care of everything. And, and so much more of this is less about, you know, man or woman, but personality.

Because also, again, not to drag on this conversation, but I think it's important. One of you is going to be more excited to do the budget. One of you is going to be the one that's more of the nerd, we call it, that they, they want to be, oh my gosh, we can't wait for this. And the other free spirit. And sometimes the free spirits, we talk to the nerds and they're like, well, my wife never wants to do anything.

And I'm like, well, listen, is she participating in it? Is she, you know, part of the conversation? Like. that's the goal here. One of you may not love it as much as the other, but that's not what we're talking about.

But it's the idea that, regardless of who you are in the marriage, you have equal say and equal access, and equal access to your money. You guys, it's really, really crucial, because that promotes health and that promotes openness and promotes communication, which is going to help in other parts of your life and your marriage, not just money. So we want to create these good habits, you guys, and money's an avenue in that. Let's go to the phones. We have Helen in Las Vegas.

Hey, Helen, welcome to the show. Hi, thanks for taking.

It's a cancer stage. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But anyway, I did get a settlement recently and my credit cards are about $60,000.. And I'm just wondering, my question is, should I just pay them off and get rid of them?

I did look up to see if I could get some debt relief program or something like that, but it sort of looked to me like you have to pay them and, and I don't know. And I don't want to quit paying the credit cards and getting a, well, they do give you like, I guess they give you some kind of a help if you, if you quit paying them, but I don't want to do that either. So I was wondering if I should try to take that money and try to make money, or should I just pay out those credit cards and, and just get the relief of not having to make those minimum payments on about 10 credit cards every month? Yeah. How much was your medical settlement?

How much did you get? Oh, a hundred and about 170.. Okay.

So you cashed.

Well, I mean, I have my house and that's a high, that's the reason, one of the reasons why I didn't expect not to be working. So, um, that mortgage is $1,800.. So, and what do you owe on the house as well? Oh, a lot, all of it really. How much, how much is that?

Uh, 400,000.

. 400.. Okay. And are you working at all, Helen? No, no.

How old are you?

. Okay. Okay. So what are you living besides the settlement money? What are you living off of?

And what's kind of your monthly, are you taking? Oh, 4,500.. Okay. Social security. Um, I would take some of this money and I would pay off the credit cards and I would take some of this money and I would keep three to six months of expenses for you, maybe six months because you're living alone and you've got this health condition.

Um, and then I would take the rest of it and I would pay off the, I would start paying off the mortgage. I'm just walking down the baby steps with you. is basically what I'm doing. And so I'd love if you got to a point, you know, you've got 4,500.. Do you have any other money in retirement or any other investment accounts?

No, no. I,

If you're able to, um, find another option for a living, maybe to reduce not just the mortgage payment, but just the overall, if you can, if you can get to a place, a smaller living situation, that would relieve, um, not just the 1800 payments, but also relieve just the total mortgage that you're going to have.

Yeah. Towards that down payment or, I'm sorry, towards, towards the mortgage mortgage, get it paid off. I'm sorry, Helen. Yep. Thank you for calling.

Thanks to all guys, all the guys in the booth. Thank you, America. Thank you, Jade. This is the Ramsey show.

live from the headquarters of Ramsey solutions. It's the Ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create amazing relationships. I am at Rachel Cruz, hosting this hour with Jade Warshaw, and we are taking your calls at 888-825-5225.. Well, Jade, we're gonna do something fun, something a little, a little different this segment. And next we're going to, we're going to start a segment called pick a side and pick a side segment means that we're going to talk to a couple.

We have Mark and Samantha on the line and they are kind of in a disagreement of what to do about a situation. And so they're each going to have time to lay out their case, present it to us, Jade, the referees, and then you and I are going to decide. next segment. Who's right? Whose side do we think?

Yeah, I got my pen and paper ready. We cannot wait. Okay. So, to start us off here with the pick a side segment, we have Mark and Samantha from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Hey, Mark and Samantha.

Thanks for joining us. Afternoon, ladies. How are you? We're doing great. We are so excited about this.

I'm so glad you're both here, because we can really get the story.

Yeah. Now, we received the estimate of $50,000.. We have a CD that's due to mature in July, and it should be roughly about $27,000.. Now, currently, we pay an additional $1,000 on the principal for our mortgage every month. So we're wondering, do we take that extra principal payment and save for roughly 18 to 20 months, use that CD to pay cash for the patio?

Or do we use that CD, put down, uh, put that on the mortgage to pay the mortgage off faster?

. $70,000.. Okay. How much did you say? the extra mortgage payment was that you're.

That's great. Um,

that are our age, and, uh, don't want to put off for tomorrow and not enjoy today. So, you know, since I'm not willing to go into debt for this, uh, and that's an absolute no, no, no, that's a 34 letter word in our house. Uh, you know, we, you know, can, can cashflow it, you know, save, you know, roughly about two years cashflow and enjoy the time, uh, we have, um, with friends and family entertaining. Cause. that's what we built the house for us to entertain everyone.

And it sounds like.

Oh, I'm sorry. And the CD is the 27,000.. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. My notes.

I had them flipped. So it take you,

Um, if we just put the CD on the mortgage, as well as our extra payment, we'd, uh, it'd be paid for roughly in September of 27.

. So a little, a little bit longer than that.

Then we can sit outside and enjoy it. Um, so that's, that's basically my angle. I don't want to have any debt. And, um, you know, I think both scenarios are good, but I really, really want to pay off the mortgage. Not this way, ladies.

anyway. Can I ask a question?

Is that fair? Yes. Okay. You both agree with that. So it's not like we're stifling, we're not stifling ourselves, right?

No, we're working, working our butts off,

Okay. So in a, you know, in just a perfect world, in five and a half years, you could, both are going to happen. It's just a matter of which one goes. first. Correct.

Correct. Okay. That's great. Interesting. Okay.

Um,

Oh,

Is it like outdoor kitchen?

So we have a nice seated area to eat. And, you know, once again, just a nice outdoor entertainment. What is it right now? Not the.

Okay. Okay. Mark and Samantha, hold on the line. When you come back, we'll tell you what we think. I feel like we need a day lift.

Austin comes in and tells us, tells us what to do with. the verdict is so good. Okay. We'll be back.

We will be sailing through the blue waters of the Caribbean with the Ramsey personalities and other special guests. A bunch of cabin options are already sold out. So hurry and reserve yours with a $600 deposit today at Ramsey solutions.com slash events.

So that and their savings, they could cashflow it, build it, uh, in two years and it'll be great. Samantha, on the other hand, wants to throw all that extra money, pay off the mortgage. It'll take about three and a half years to pay off the mortgage. And she just said, you know, how much, when you don't have debt, there is a weight that is lifted off and there is such freedom, such freedom when it comes to that. Okay.

Was that, was that a fair summary? you guys on, on both sides? Yeah. Okay. Yep.

Absolutely.

Okay.

We.