Birthday Sex & Strip Clubs [VIDEO]

Daddy Gang, welcome back to another episode of Call Her Daddy. I am so excited I decided it's another solo week. I feel not refreshed. I was about to say I feel great.

I don't feel fucking great, I'm so hungover, I have an ear infection. I'm fucked up because I just got back from celebrating my birthday in Miami, and when I say I got back, I didn't. I'm not home, actually.

I'll explain that in a minute. Where the fuck am I? I was just in Miami celebrating my birthday. I had too much fun and I know I've said everybody that keeps their birthday going for a week.

I fucking hate you, I hate myself too. It just so happened that people, I was seeing different people throughout the week and we were having different parties and it was very fun. I had some old friends with me, actually, one of them is in the room.

Pan to my right, Lauren is here. I just don't want to go home.

So Lauren and I are still together, but we had a wild time. I went to 11 for the first time in my life, if you guys have never been to 11, neither have I. Okay, and I had a full experience.

I show up and it's basically a full club and strip club, if that makes sense, so we show up. And the first person that comes up to me works there, and she's like, Daddy, like, I'm such a big fan, I love this show. Can I give you a massage?

It's so cool you guys, these women give people massages and I'm like, Oh my God, no, like I have chronic neck pain, like.

I don't want to, I'm like, such a loser. I'm like, Oh so sorry, no, I have chronic neck pain, herniated disc, like you don't want to touch my back. And then I see Lauren in the corner, just like taking shots.

I'm like, but my friend Lauren would like a fucking massage, so Lauren sits her ass down and starts getting the most sexual massage. They're like, going down her body. They put oil on me, I didn't know that.

They put oil on me, so Lauren is literally sitting like this, Oh, and I'm watching Lauren having the time of her life to which? Then I turned to the girl, like, Wait, how much is this going to be? I had no cash on me and she goes, Oh, every 15 minutes is a hundred dollars.

I'm like, Get up, Lauren, let's go. I hand her like a 50 bucks, and I'm like, that will be enough for Lauren. Lauren got a nice little massage.

I love strip clubs. They're a great time and it overall was a really good birthday. I will say the one really. There's a lot of incredible things about being engaged. The one really incredible thing about being engaged is like, you can get so drunk and blackout.

And when you get home, you can essentially make a fool of yourself or do the craziest shit that you can possibly think. When you enter that bedroom. And I'm going to usually wake up and Matt's going to still love me. I get. I stayed at the club for an hour longer than Matt. Matt's like, Babe, I got to go.

I got to go. I'm like, I totally get it, like, I'm, I'm one with the strippers. I get home and Matt is kind of half asleep and I walk in to, which he describes as a rageful beast.

And now, when I look back, so one of my friends that works with me, Jordan, goes. I heard you leave in the club, saying to Matt on the phone I need three things when I get home. What was it? a a tampon, a vibrator and water? I'm like, Matt, I need a tampon, a vibrator and water. Classic.

Matt's like, Okay, baby, like I got you, I'll see you soon. I come home, I rip my clothes off.

Like, it's not even sexy. I rip my clothes off and I'm like, let's fuck, Matt, throws me on the bed. He's like, Okay, this is fun, whatever.

We start having sex, and the minute his penis enters my vaginal walls, I start screaming like, it's just so not cute. like this is not cute, it's dramatic.

I get it and Matt's like, what, what, what? And I'm like, I definitely have a tampon in, like, you need to take it out first. Like, I don't want to get toxic shock syndrome, like Lauren always has, had tampons get stuck in her fucking stomach.

She's always like it was one time.

Lauren I remember the story, Lauren's like, something's not right, something's going on. And I will never forget Lauren. Teaching me the lesson of, like, you better not fuck with a tampon in, because that's even worse than it. Just like getting stuck up there, that dick is going to shove that shit up until your titties.

Okay, I don't recommend it. Okay, so I like, have this like, really big fear, and there's just like, I just have a big fear of it.

Who wouldn't? Okay? So I start screaming at Matt and he, I'm like, put your fingers in there, and he's like, what? I shoved my fingers up.

I start trying to get my tampon out, I feel nothing. I'm like, Matt, I opened my legs as if I'm in the gynecologist office and I'm like, Matt, get in there and Matt's like, I really don't see anything.

Like, I didn't even feel anything with my dick. I'm like, get in there, Matt starts putting his fingers inside of my vagina, fishing around, but it's not like cute. I'm like, Do you feel it? He's like, No.

I'm like, Do you feel it? I say, get your phone, turn on your flashlight app and inspect it Inspector gadget, Find the tampon. So Matt's like, Jesus fucking Christ, he gets the phone full flashlight, legs up in here.

I'm like, Do you see anything like, what's going on up there? He's like, it looks beautiful, like I don't see anything, but this is TMI. So finally, Matt claims that he doesn't.

I think about Matt's mom watching this, just like drinking her morning coffee, being like, All right, we're done, don't watch it this week. So Matt finally doesn't find a tampon in me. We proceed to have sex, and I find myself in very acrobatic situations when I'm feeling drunk.

Like, I with Matt usually have like my three go-to sex positions, what are they?

Lauren's so creepy in the corner. Any for me and my boyfriend. No very classics. Usually, it's going to be him off the bed, me from behind, something doggy style. I love the from the side spooning position, but like him up on his knees, if that makes sense, like not him spooning me, but him on his knees, me spooning.

And then another one, it could possibly be like me, with my legs over his shoulders. Just visualize it, get turned on, get your vibrator because this isn't hot actually. So I do the position I'm sweating already, I proceed to do the position where my legs are over his shoulders. And in this moment too, just so you guys understand, like, yeah, for sure, Matt and I will have some kinky sex here and there.

And then, like, we'll have normal sex and we'll have kinky sex leaving a strip club. The inspiration was flowing. Do you know what I mean? Like, we got in there and there were these two women specifically, just like AI looking women.

They had a Star Wars helmet on their body and like, just beautiful breasts and body. I'm so creepy, but I couldn't stop staring. I was waiting for, like a lightsaber to come out. And then the other women were like, twirling, obviously on the pole. And like, a lot of women were giving lap dances where their legs were going over men's heads and shoulders. And all the things like, kind of like circus delay, but like stripper vibes, just like hot as fuck.

So when I got back, when I'm telling you guys, I chose to do the legs over the shoulders. It wasn't the classic legs over the shoulders, it was giving. I'm going to ramp it up, velocity 500. Like, I'm going to, like, twist and turn them around his neck and like, try to take my toe and like, give him a little ear massage with my big toe. Like, I'm pulling out all the stops, it's going like this, but it's like, ooh, like, how can I get in the crevice of that ear canal?

And like, how could I, like, wipe his forehead and then, like, my shin is like giving his cheek a caressing massage? Like, I was trying my best to really lean into the acrobatic things that I saw at 11. And so I have my legs around him in the position that I really like. But again, at that 500 velocity, ramping it up to do a little extra kinks.

And because I was really focused on my limbs, not only my vagina and my body, I was giving it all. And because I was so focused on that, my legs were really flailing like around, and then all of a sudden, little did I know. We were backing up further and further and further towards the edge of the bed, which then what I didn't remember is. The Soho house has this thing where, like the board on the outside of the mattress is not directly on the mattress, it's like six inches out.

So like, your phone can drop through, like your socks, like my retainers, you know, you guys wear retainers too, right? And so I wasn't thinking, and I'm, I'm, I'm flailing, I'm moving, I'm giving the acrobatic, I am stripper.

I'm one with the dick and all of a sudden he thrusts too hard. My my, my legs, my legs flip over my body and my head smashes on the wood board, and my legs flip somersault back over. And I'm laying directly on the floor, as I'm basically concussed and I'm out, I didn't get concussed, but I do have like a little bruise on my head, Matt.

Oh, maybe this camera could show was like this.

I'm out and I wasn't out because of concussion. I was like, I'm going to sleep. If you know me, which you guys do, but you don't know me in like a sexual way, um, or do you? I guess you do?

Now, at this point, I'm one where wherever I land after sex, when I'm drunk, I'm sat. I'm done, don't touch me, let me go, let me live. That was the worst part.

This is, too, this is too much TMI. But like here we are. As I fling off the bed, Matt's coming and going, Alex, Alex. And as I'm fully on the floor, Matt is coming and checking if I'm like, okay? And or if I'm deceased. And his ejaculation is sprinkling onto me, like picture Matt, fully, just like, Oh, my God.

So if you are in spot, usually we come over here to get inspired. Like Alex, like, give us that sexual energy again, like, teach us how to do those sex moves. This is more of like, what not to do for your birthday sex? But I did have a lot of fun and it's a good story to tell. So just be careful helmets next time and just like, keep it 100 on your birthday.

Um, what else happened in Miami? Wait, what's the when Kate Bailey fully fucking got me not allowed to get into my live or whatever?

Let's bring it up. So someone that I work with, Kate Bailey, I love my publicist, but she is a lovely bitch. How do we say it? Kate? You are the loveliest bitch I know. Kate and I like to play pranks on each other.

Kate and I have a very interesting relationship. I'm sweating. I need to take this off before I tell the story. You guys met Kate in Milan. She is my publicist, my pimple pot for she's all the good things.

But in this moment, she's a fucking cunt.

Okay, so we're all drinking at dinner before we go to 11 Miami. And Kate is like, you're going to love this place, you're gonna have so much fun at this place. Like, I can't wait for you to go. I hate that there's going to do it.

So we show up in two different cars, Kate's in a car with a bunch of our friends and then I'm in a car with a bunch of my friends. And I show up. And I'm waiting for Kate because she's the one that organized the table and we're standing outside of 11. And finally, Kate goes to the front of the line, where, like, the table, people are, and she's like, Oh, a table for us.

And these men look at me up and down, from my toes to my eyeballs, and they say she's not allowed in.

And like, I'm drunk, okay, and I'm like, Wait, why? and they're like.

Guys, I'm still a little wounded, so if I'm coming off bitter, it's cause I am. So I'm standing there and I'm like, Wait, why? and they're like.

You can't come in with that size, it sounds so weird now that I'm saying it, you can't come inside the club with with that size. Denim short Are those your boyfriends? To give you guys context? I will put up a photo.

I was wearing, trying to be trendy, trying to switch it up from fucking body suits and jeans. I was wearing, um, the like a long jean short like over my knee, but like, and also baggy like a baggy jean short with like a little top. Like it looked cute, you guys, I promise, like it looks cute.

Okay, anyways, I'll post a photo. So he's like, Yeah, your shorts are so big, we can't let you in with those denim big shorts.

There is video footage which I will play and I want to die. This is me when he says that.

Really, I'm looking down at my shorts, like, So insecure. Please show me the video so I can remember what I'm doing. It's so embarrassing.

And I was like, Oh so, you're basically saying, I don't look sexy enough in these? Like, do you want me to take my pants off? And so they started objectifying me, Okay, and I'm like, what if they were just baggy like pants?

And like, it's just the short, and I'm like, So then, oh my God. I think there's a point where I roll them up past my knee cap and I'm like, Is it, is it hotter if you see my knee?

And so I then I'm like, it's okay, you guys go in, and I'm like, so sad. I'm like, really want to go on the strip club? I'm like, Okay, you guys go in.

And then Kate Bailey looks at me and she goes, It's a joke.

It's a joke, it's a joke. I wasn't in the headspace for a joke because I was already insecure about the shorts. Okay, I've. I was trying to be a fashion girly in that moment.

I was already insecure about the shorts and Kate is wheezing, and all my friends are there, wheezing, laughing. And I turned to Matt, Of course, poor Matt, and I am like this, and I'm like, Did you know?

And Matt's like, No, no, I'm like, you must have known, and like, poor Matt is like, No, I didn't know. Like cause. To be fair, Matt at one point was like, let's fucking go.

Like, who gives a fuck? Let's go, fuck, like, I'm over this place anyways, let's go. And I'm like, No, I want to go see the strippers. And finally, Matt's like, No, I didn't know.

But I could tell once Kate started laughing and filming you, then I knew, and I was too drunk that I didn't notice. I thought she was filming it. So we could, like, upload it and be like, they discriminate against big shorts.

I thought we were filming it like, you know how, on TikTok, people upload things where it's like, we will show you. 11 Miami. That, like, my big shorts are cool and fuck you for not letting me in. So I thought she was documenting on my side. Little did I know this fucking whore was just using me for her content. So I said to Kate, I said, Kate, watch your back.

I said, Now it's on you prank me, I'm going to prank you and you will least expect it, and we agreed that our pranks can go like this.

If you're the last one that prank, you can't just keep pranking, so it's my turn, bitch. So if you're watching this, did you hear that knock at your door?

Wonder who it is? No, Um, Kate, it's on. So now that we've gotten my big the pant sagas done or the shorts on the jorts, where am I?

This is the last episode of season two. Okay, and what is the point of season two versus season three? I just make it up, you know what I mean?

When I signed with Spotify, I had season one was year one, season two is year two, and season three is my final like year of, like, my first deal with Spotify. So I figured like, why not just make it fun and more like a TV show? And I hope each season you guys feel it gets better.

Season one premiere was I glucked my way to the top, such so much dick to get to where I am today. Gluck Gluck 9,000 Season two premiered with Haley Bieber, which was fucking insane. Broke every possible record it could break.

And now, season three, I am in an undisclosed location, which you'll soon find out. In two weeks, I am recording with someone that is going to be the guest of season three premiere. How I can describe seasons, though, to you guys, because in my brain there's a lot of things that change, but for you guys every season. I like to change my cover art. I like to change a little bit of, like, the vibe of the studio, maybe a little bit of the color changes, but my cover art for season two.

It's going to be a no for me dog, it's going to be a I couldn't have looked worse. I don't know what the Debbie Ryan faces, but apparently everyone was annihilating me on the internet, being like, you literally are doing the Debbie Ryan face. And so everyone was roasting me. And I was going to reshoot my cover art, Daddy Gang, but this is the thing, you know, I am busy.

Like, I can't just be like, Oh, I'm going to do another cover art, so I was like, I'll just wait. And so season two, the content was great, the cover art was so fucking shit and I'm embarrassed.

I look like I'm an untasseled realtor. I'm giving, I'm giving, like, take the blazer off, you fucking whore. You are still in your twenties. You can, like, still put your tits out and like, have a good time, but for some reason, it's just giving nothing.

So season three, I will have a new cover art and I think it's going to be. I have no idea what it's going to be, but it's going to be better than season two. What was season one? Oh, season, I'll put all my seasons up here. well, you, season three will be a question mark.

Season one, season two. Okay, you guys, I'm just currently editing this and I'm sitting here and I'm like, I am a dumb ass. Because it's not season three, it's season four. I have been completely off on my seasons.

Not that any of you really give a shit, but it does help me keep time. I am just completely neglecting the fact that I had. Season one was still with Barstool when I started doing this show solo. So we have season one cover art here, okay, season two cover here.

Season three cover art here, which is the one that I'm like, what was going on there, what? what was going on? and then season four? Well, that's not revealed yet. Oh my God.

Look at Henry, if you guys are watching this episode, there you go, oh my god. So I'm about to say so, season three is coming.

It's season four.

But you know what, you don't listen to what I say anyway, so just pretend I never said it. Season four is coming, when I'm referring to season three, it's season fucking four, and it doesn't even matter.

But yeah, okay, goodbye, ignore me. So season three is coming, new cover art and the episode.

What can I give you guys? There's a tiny, tiny, tiny little hint about season three first episode. Who is the guest? Let's just say, and I'm going to bleep it out if this gives it away. But I am exhausted from trying to keep up with this person, okay?

That's all I'll say.

Hi daddy gang, so we're back. I want to just hang out with you guys and like I said, this is the last episode of season two, it really means nothing for you guys.

It's just for me creatively, I just like to, like, change things a little bit. Like I said, but I want to spend it with you guys alone today. So I, well, I guess Lauren's here alone. What am I?

I'm your most repeated guest of season two. It's true, it's so fucking true. And Lauren, when I say I'm alone, I'm not alone, like Lauren's here, but like, you guys get it.

Like, it's like, we're together.

What comes to mind? Let's get into it.

I'm not going to do the whole thing because I will start sweating, but I love the motherfucking week. Let's go, Lauren.

Question one I've gotten super close with one of my guy friends over the past few months. We always have the best time together and I genuinely love being around him. But lately, the vibes have been getting really flirty and he's been making jokes about us hooking up. I'm conflicted.

I'm kind of into it, but I'm also worried that if we do anything.

Friend is like, if you're going to do it, the goal is you guys end up getting married, right? It's like it worked. We were both in love, I fell in love with my best friend.

But for the most part, it's like it usually doesn't end great. Because the feelings have to be so fucking mutual. And if you're such good friends, I feel like a lot of the times one party is usually so happy with that friendship. My only concern is that he has been joking, saying like, we should hook up. And that leads me to believe he could be testing the waters. Because I don't think he would say that unless he actually genuinely meant that clearly, since you guys are friends.

So my question back to you is, how do you feel about him? Are you sexually attracted to him? do you like him? I think the topic of hooking up with your best friend is always I get it written so often. Daddy Gang. I guess the only thing I can say is like, just know it will never be the same again.

Again, Goal is sure you both fall in love and you're married. But for the most part of everything I've seen, my experience is like, one person is way more invested. And if you tell that person you have feelings for them, or you go for it, or you fuck one night and you wake up, it's never going to be the same and you have to be okay with that.

So I have people write in. I'm so in love with my best friend. I need to tell them I need to act on it totally. But just recognize that you can't be then upset by the repercussions, because that also does put someone else in an uncomfortable position. If they have no feelings for you, the relationship's just going to be different.

Right, I mean, what do you think, Lauren?

I've never been in love with any of my guy friends me either. It's just too much of a sticky situation. Where like, I think sometimes like, especially depending on your age, which I always hate using age, but like, if you're in college. Like, I think sometimes people just like want are like more reactive with like their like physical emotions of just like, Oh, I'm horny. Like he is hot, she is hot.

Like, I kind of want to go for it. And you just have to really pause and think, like, if this is like, you're in your thirties, this is your best friend, he's your only friend, or she's your only friend in San Francisco. You guys live there together, you have your lives are entangled. But like, and this would be like someone you want to marry one day.

Like, I just, I don't know.

And then, like, maybe you're leaving that bad date with a guy and you're going to talk to, like, meeting up with your guy friend and you're having easy conversation. I think taken the circumstances into like fact like into consideration, like, am I kind of looking for something that's already familiar and comfortable? Because I'm feeling bad about striking out in other places and just because you can have good conversation.

And I'm like, people start looking real good, like the guy started hooking up with my junior year of college. It was like, Where was I? I was desperate, and he just started looking good because he lived down the hall.

And I was like, Oh, Jeremy, his name wasn't Jeremy, but you know who you are, it just shouldn't have. Well, hopefully you don't watch this because it should have never happened, but I guess, take the shot if you want. But I love you and Daddy Gang, just know. I personally think it's always better to not act on it than to act on it. Unless you are 100 sure that you're like, I cannot live my life unless I tell this person I love them so much.

And I'm okay if our friendship ends, because it's so painful to me to be in a relationship with this person as a friend. If I we can't have more than I, I have to get away because I can't stop thinking about them. If it's not that dire, then like, come on, there's other dick around, let's.

You know when, like, you read in like class and you're like, I'm a good reader and like, I know how to read. But like, when you're reading for class, you're like, Oh.

I'm like, Lauren, go okay.

How do I tell her it's time to move the fuck on?

He just like, he's not like Jake, and you're like, Jake literally broke your heart four years ago. Never liked you, you fucking whore. Move on. But it's like, I think sometimes everyone has to figure it out on their own.

And I think, let's play it out, so what are you going to do? You could, let's role play. You could be like, listen, I feel like I keep seeing you trying so hard to go on dates and you're always comparing them to Jake and I love you so much.

You deserve so much better, like think about it, like he broke your heart, you don't want someone like him, like you deserve so much better.

You can only do so many of those pep talks, daddy gang, you can. Of course, you should at one point, hype your friend up, remind them they're better than that last ex. But I also think when people are heartbroken, you kind of just have to let them figure it out for themselves. And I feel like a lot of times, the only way for them to actually get over that person that they were so in love with is when they find someone new. So I would say, for your friendship, be her hype, man.

I get it's annoying as fuck that she probably is like, another bad day. And you're like, I don't want to hear about it, and you're like, close your door, cause you're like, I bet what? He's not as good as Jake.

I also think there's just like, block her out, support her, be like, Oh, I'm sorry. Well, you'll get the next one, like, keep trying, girl, like, because what then?

You're just going to be the friend that's like, you really need to get over him, like, he's not shit. Like, No, you're not going to be the one that helps your friend be there for her. But I think sometimes girls, we have this like frustration when a friend can't get over it. Bitch, you'll be there in two fucking months.

When Brad breaks up with you, you're going to be crying about Brad for the next fucking six years, until you find the next right person. So let everyone grieve in their own timeline. I think sometimes it makes it even worse in the beginning when you're trying to start dating and you can't help but compare the comfort of an ex. Even if they were a fucking asshole, at least they were predictable and you who they were. So just give her some fucking time.

Okay, I know you said it was four years ago, but it may feel like four days for her. Okay, she's on the struggle bus, let her ride it until.

How do I begin having sex with new people? Oh, it's so hard because I feel.

Like, we were talking about this the other day, Lauren and I were like, how weird. When you do start hooking up with someone new, how annoying it is to go in. For those first you date makeouts. Cause, like, you're like, are they going upper lip, lower lip? how much tongue do they fucking use like?

He's biting me, he doesn't use tongue, his lips are this wide open, and I'm like, let me in there, like, you got to work it.

So I would say when you're getting back out there, be patient, because you're going to overthink and you just have to realize like, it's going to come. But I think it's actually being just faking your confidence of, like every, they're feeling the same way, too, they're figuring out your body, just go for it.

If you start overthinking things, you're also going to, like, prohibit yourself from just getting out there. Have a couple of bad fucks, have a couple of bad makeouts, have a couple of bad kisses, it's okay, who cares what they're going to judge you?

It's okay, you're going to be fine, it doesn't really.

And the next time when we get to know each other and what we like more, and I was like, Yes.

When you're going on dates and you're talking, it's almost like you put more pressure. When you get to know the person a little bit. Because you care what they think of you. So if you're putting yourself back out there, just remember. It's going to feel a little weird at first, but once you get back on that fucking horse and giddy up smooth sailing, don't overthink it. It's not all on you, baby girl, okay?

You could just lay there, and I was just going to say, if all starts going south, just lay there.

Every time they go out, she tries to get in the way of me talking to guys, so either interrupt me or drag me away to a different part of the bar. When I do end up going home with someone, she gets mad at me for ruining Girls night. I don't think I'm ruining anything. I want her to have fun, obviously.

But to me, part of fun is flirting with guys.

Okay, that's like a red flag, sorry, but like, I'm trying to, like, be empathetic and come from her perspective, my one thought is like.

Maybe she's jealous of you in terms of like, are you the person that's always going home with the guy? And like, what's her social life? Or like, her dating life? Like, like, is she kind of in that rut where, like, I could see her being like? I never get to go home with anyone, so if I can't, nobody does.

That's just a bad mentality. But like, I'm just thinking, maybe that's why I would say number two, which can be controversial. But like, she could be in love with you, like, I have seen people do that. Where it's like, they're so fixated on the person's dating life and they're so obsessed and blow on their friends. And it's like, Well, they're obsessed with you and they love you.

And like, they're jealous, but let's pretend that's not the case. The one thing that I don't fuck with is her verbalizing to you that you're ruining girls nights. It's like, it's one thing for you to see, like she's trying to, like, keep you at the bar and then you go and then she drops it. But to say in the morning, like, Yeah, you just like, ruin our girls nights because you always leave.

It's one thing, don't you agree, Lauren? If you're sitting at a girl's wine night, you're always hanging out in apartments. You're kind of like having nights like that. And she's constantly leaving the nights where it's supposed to be more chill.

And she's like, got to go get that dick. I'd be like, Yeah, you're a fucking dick rider. You need to fucking give your vagina like a night on ice and fucking chill for a second. You fucking whore like, you can stay in with the girls for one night.

But if you guys are going out, that's the fun of going out when you're single and like finding guys, finding girls to hook up with. I guess you could just approach her and say one thing of like, Hey, I love going out together. I feel like our group is thriving recently, we have so much fun. But I do want to bring up to you that I feel like recently you've made a couple comments to me. The morning afters of just like me, ruining Girls night and stuff.

And I just want to kind of clear the air, cause obviously that kind of statement makes me feel a little icky. And I love you. And I want to make sure we're good of, like, what's going on? Like, obviously, like, I love hanging out.

And then, like, if I find a guy like, I'm so excited, like, I want to, like, end the night on a like, a fun note. And try to hook up with someone and find someone like, can we just talk about this? And then kind of put it on her and see what she says? If she's like, Yeah, I just feel like you're like, always ditching the girls for guys. It's like, Well, I like, love hooking up with people and I'm there the whole night.

And then at the end, Becky, we're not going in bed together and like licking each other's clits. Like, I need I need Kyle getting down and dirty on me, or I need Samantha that I met at the bar getting down and dirty. Like, we're not doing that together, so I am trying to get my nut like, respectfully.

Like, I know you love your vibrator, but like, I want a good dick or another vagina. But you're not leaving 30 minutes in. I used to hate my friends. Sometimes that would do that. I was going to say, like, if it's like.

Like, that does kind of ruin the vibe, cause you need that group energy that you plan to go out with. So, just, um, yeah. But I think a cock blocker is usually a sign of insecurity or jealousy, and I think you can nip it in the butt.

Like, it's not that fucking deep, like, let's all have fun, let's all get ours. And like, Yeah, I may be getting more frequently.

I'll help you, let me wingman you, you can't cock block me. if I'm trying to get a fucking dick, shove up your asshole, like, let's go.

Come on, the girl's like taking notes, and she's like, I'll get you a dick up your asshole. Okay, yeah, let me go talk to her about that.

It'll feel great, just do a little double p together. Oh, a threesome. Next time you're leaving and be like, I know you want to come, let's go and you just bring her in fun.

Okay.

That's like, intentionally, they'd be like, you learn when we were living together. Like walking out and like your little thong, booty shorts and be like Matt. Like, I didn't know you were going to be here and like, it's just giving, like, fucked up and like, not being a good friend, I would say.

Okay, this is what I would say. I think the first conversation actually could be with your boyfriend, because I've we've already established. This girl is not really your friend, sorry, but like, if your friend is fucking flirting with your boyfriend in front of you, there's like, no respect, unless it's just like, No, actually, I take it back.

When people are like, she's just a flirty person, I don't care. That's just you have to have some self-awareness, or why would you want to be friends with someone that's like, so on, self-aware.

Because then that is someone that fucks your boyfriend. I would have a conversation with your boyfriend being like, Babe, I know obviously like, I trust you, but no, we actually don't trust fucking anyone. You're right, Sandoval told us everything we needed to know. You're going to be like, imagine you do it in front of both of them.

She goes to flirt with him. Pause, pause, nope, pause.

What was that? what was that? Are you trying to fuck Ben? Wait, let's get real realistic here.

Matt look like amazing tonight.

I would pull you aside. I mean, like, Listen, I love you and I love our relationship so much. But this isn't working for me. And you'd be like, what? I haven't said anything, because obviously I'm always trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, I love you.

You're my best friend, but like, you're blatantly flirting with my boyfriend in front of me, and that's not really cool. Because I would never disrespect you like that, and it is giving full disrespect. And then say, Can you please stop flirting with my boyfriend in front of me? And I'm like, What is your intention here? what's your intention?

And if she's like, Oh my gosh, Alex like, Babe, no, and she's just like gaslighting all of her little energy into your face. You remove yourself from the situation if it doesn't stop. If she's like, I am so fucking sorry, I'm so awfully single.

And I will just admit I flirt with everything that has a pulse. And this is so fucking embarrassing. And I promise you this will never happen again. I'm so embarrassed if you get that response and it never happens again. I guess let's give her the benefit of the doubt, but if she's like, Babe, what?

Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Like, No, like, I think you're reading.

He can also stand up and he can make her, like, feel like a little uncomfortable. Like, So why are you saying that? Yeah, like, Hey, I'm sorry, that makes me really uncomfortable.

That makes Alex and I very uncomfortable. Please don't make those comments like something like that. And then just don't hang out with this fucking cunt anymore. I'm sorry, but like people that just go like, there's so much fucking dick on this planet.

It's like, everywhere you can't get away from penises like, go find a fucking other one, and if you can't, not my fucking problem, but you don't homey hop onto my boyfriend's fucking dick. Thank you.

Next, people are being deviant. This week. We got fucking girls cock blocking girls, we got girls trying to fucking fuck other girls boyfriends, yeah.

Daddy Gang I kind of want something funny, guys. My housekeeper, Diego is the most amazing man in the world, and every time Diego comes and cleans, he's like, He's like, Oh, I always have to like. Make sure all your sex toys are cleaned.

And I was like, Diego, what? And so he says to the person that Matt and I are working with Alex and all of her toys, I'm always cleaning up her toys. And I was like, What? And he was like, Oh, yeah.

And like, you know, Diego, like he doesn't leave one fucking part of the house, like unscathed, like he's scrubbing every corner, like Diego's fully, like scrubbing the butt pugs, like scrubbing the vibrators. And he's so happy to do it. And he, like, puts them in order and, like, makes them look all beautiful. For Matt and I, and so, like, Diego, I didn't realize, has been fully cleaning my sex toys.

If you think yours housekeeper is better than mine, try again. Okay, daddy gang, that is it for not only this week's episode, but the season. When I look back on this season, I'm overwhelmed.

I think with how many different like formats and things that happened. And musical artists started coming on, we had our first musical artists sing, and now we have people that come on and, like, perform on the show. To this day, I can't thank you guys enough because I literally wouldn't be able to sit and meet some of these people and have conversations with them. If it wasn't for you. So just know that season three, we're only getting better, we're only getting bigger, and it's because of you.

So thank you for listening to my ass every week on Wednesdays, hanging out with me, looking forward to things. Because truly, I know I've now been doing this for five years. Oh, my god, call her daddy. Started in 2018. I've now been doing this solo for this is going on my fourth year and it literally feels like yesterday.

I started this thing like, it's just getting better. I love doing this for you guys, I love doing it for myself. This is so fucking fun.

I feel like I have the dream job and I can't thank you guys enough for holding it down. With me. Going through my crazy fucking transitions of life and content and all the things. You really are the best I could ever fucking ask for, daddy gang, truly the strongest fucking. I don't even want to say podcast gang in the world. Well, the gang does give a negative. Um, we are the strongest gang in the United States.

No, we are the strongest gang in the world. Um, it's giving, um, you know what I'm saying? um, we are a solid gang members together.

We are the strongest fucking gang. I truly could not ask for better fans, followers, listeners, all the fucking things. You guys are the motherfucking shit. And I will not see you next Wednesday. I will see you fuckers in two Wednesdays for the season premiere of season three.

Let me just be clear, you are not fucking ready. I love you guys, goodbye.

AI.