We've Got The Tapes (Ep 2134)

your host, Dan Bongino.

Oh my God.

Folks, I promise I don't do drugs or heroin.

You see this in my arm?

This is not like me, like mainlining narcotics or anything.

I had to do an IV this weekend to recover.

What a weekend.

This is like, this isn't even the mother of all weekend updates.

This is like the great-grandfather of all weekend updates ever.

This is like the original missing link of weekend updates all goes back to this weekend

update.

Holy Moses, was this a weekend.

I got some stories for you all.

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Big update.

It's a big birthday today, Joe.

You may have heard about it.

Me and Joe got a special greeting, the big guy.

He's about 142, but that's okay.

So don't go away.

Joe's like a professional singer.

So I got paid for this at one point.

This is big.

No, he's good.

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All right, Joseph.

Happy Monday, everyone.

It's showtime.

Well, it's an extra happy Monday because some of you may have heard our illustrious commander

in chief, the greatest leader we've ever seen.

Just kidding.

I'm talking about Joe Biden, smoking Joe Biden, sniffing Joe Biden.

Joe Biden's birthday today.

He's about 246.

He's actually 81.

So Joe, how old are you?

I'll be 67 next week, Dan.

So this guy was born way before you, Daddy-O. So I had a little thought, how about we sing

a little happy birthday?

Everyone want to join us in the chat for smoking Joe Biden while he's sniffing some kids?

Let's do it, Joe.

Happy birthday, big guy.

Happy birthday, big guy.

Happy birthday, big guy, Biden.

He's cringing right now.

Happy birthday from me, Joe, and the Chinese Communist Party and the Ukrainians and the

Kazakhs and Burisma and everyone else who paid you off.

I hit those high notes better than him.

Very good.

Joe is a pro.

I'm not.

But there you go.

He's like, he's so funny.

He like hates anything, you know, he's cringy.

I'm singing happy birthday to sniffing Joe Biden today.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Did you?

Wow, folks.

Oh, my gosh.

A compliment from Guy.

Joe, Elizabeth, I'm coming for you.

Guy says, oh, it's cringe, bro, total cringe.

He says it all the time.

Everything's cringe.

I know.

I'm sorry.

I always drift out.

So a big weekend update for you.

This is like the godfather of all weekend updates.

First we did the Crowder show.

I'm so happy.

A lot of you liked it.

Ninety percent of you loved it.

Ten percent of you thought it was totally bananas.

That show and Guy, you can vouch for however bananas it appeared.

The show on Thursday, I'm sorry, Friday, we had the day off Thursday.

I keep saying Friday.

Forever nuts.

You think it was.

Guy, was it not ten times worse in the studio?

In the studio, it was even more bananas than it looked like on the air.

So the Crowder show was a mega hit, 1.2 million views.

Just crazy.

Some of you didn't catch the new time.

I should have probably said it more.

Sorry about that.

Next time we do it, I'll advertise.

Well, the new time just for that show, not now.

But I should advertise that in advance.

But thank you so much.

So we did a book signing in Texas and the Bongino Army is like a legit army now.

Like we have like a thousand members in Dallas alone.

I'm starting to think to myself, man, if we were to marshal this army together around

the country, what do you say, guys?

We probably got a good like million plus.

We may be like the world's like seventh biggest standing army.

The funny thing is, I ain't even kidding.

So we go to Dallas.

Guy was there.

And all the nice people showed up.

And folks, I kid you not, I expected 600 people, 600.

Figured we had 550 plus books.

I said, you know, the bookstore, I don't want to carry something I'm not going to sell.

So we figured it would be OK.

I did not expect a thousand people.

When I got there, we had to go to do this in fast motion here.

This is Paula.

She goes, I'm going to go take a picture of this line because it wraps around the mall

and doubles back as we're watching this.

I want to show you this is not when you see at the end, this is not the same group of

people at the end.

Like it doubles back this one on.

I stayed. I was supposed to be there for two hours.

But because you all are the freaking best audience ever in the history of what this

is in just in the bookstore, then it goes outside the mall.

This thing went back around, down around, doubled back on itself.

I stayed for I think it was like three and a half hours.

I was signing hats.

I was signing napkins, shirts.

I mean, you brought something to sign.

I said, because we ran out of books.

Some guy told me we bought up every single book in Dallas.

He went to the Sam's Club or whatever.

And there were no books there either.

So, by the way, if you want to see the rest of that line, go to my Instagram.

And in the Instagram, watch the rest of that line.

That's not even you can see what it went all around the mall.

The poor mall owner.

They were like blocking off entrances from stores.

It was crazy.

And a lot of people on a serious note.

Gee, that ad is up.

It's driving me crazy.

But by the way, everyone there, I want you to know like how much it means to me.

You show up.

I typically can't take stuff back.

So I ask people to mail it.

But in this case, we had the ability to transport stuff back.

So I met a Marine.

And I didn't want to take this because I felt bad.

But he insisted.

He's apparently carried this coin, Marine coin, with him for 17 years.

And he said he wanted me to have it.

And I, brother, you know, semper fi, man.

It's my greatest regret not being one of you all in the Marines.

You know I have a soft spot for Marines.

So do the people in this show for some obvious reasons.

I want to thank you.

We have a special Friday shout out to a young girl, Serenity,

who loves Joe's Friday thing.

That's coming up next week.

Also, John, this guy, John is a really nice guy,

gave me this like Sammy Sosa official baseball from his March 500.

Someone gave me a man card to turn in whenever I talk about wine.

I got to turn my man card in.

Thank you.

And then some grommets, a Nolan Ryan thing, a Dan Bongino baseball card,

like all this stuff on it.

So much stuff, man.

I put it back here.

I try to keep all of it.

But I'm running out of space.

When we get the new office, I'll have like a bookshelf.

But you all are great, so I appreciate it.

And finally, this crazy weekend update.

I went to the Morgan Wallen concert Saturday night.

What a freaking banger that was, man.

Paul and I, we never get there early.

Morgan usually comes on like 9, 915.

He came on like 920 or so.

So we never get there early because we just don't.

It gets to be like a little chaotic, if you know what I mean.

So we were in Houston, and we were like, screw it.

We're going to go there early.

And we're going to just like party a little bit.

And let me tell you something.

Morgan was freaking amazing.

The show was totally bananas.

Met some couple.

I'm singing, uh-oh, the whole.

I mean, you should have heard the Dan Bongino, hometown.

I'm like screaming the whole night.

That's why my voice sounds like shit, right?

And I'm there.

Everybody wanted to meet Paula.

I don't know why.

She looked pretty hot.

Maybe not.

No one cared.

Everybody's like, hey, you Dan.

Is this Paula?

And they started talking to Paula.

But this guy hooks me up.

I got a quick story.

I promise I'm going to get to the show.

But the Monday up, I don't do this often.

If you hate it, just say shut up and get to the content.

But this is super important.

So Minute Maid Park has the worst bathroom situation

I've ever seen in Houston.

I never see anything like it.

You go out there to like hit the bathroom,

you better like chalk off a half an hour of your life.

For the women, two hours.

It was like the craziest thing I've ever seen.

I don't want to give this guy's name up.

So let's call him Tony, OK?

You know what I mean?

I'm on this line.

I'm out there like five minutes.

Some guy, hey, you Dan Bargino?

I said, it depends.

Are you a Democrat?

If you are, I'm sure Morgan Wallenstein should have known.

Guy's like, no, man.

So good to meet you.

He's like, let's just say I work with Morgan, kind of.

I was like, oh, cool.

He's like, you don't need to wait on this bathroom.

Come with me.

Man, dude, let's just call him Tony.

Paula's got her own thing.

Then we meet this couple in the front row.

I'm singing.

I'm dancing.

My hometown, I meet my mama.

Now I'm going to see you every time I see that.

Well, I'm singing.

And the lady we're chilling with, the husband,

they can't believe they're sitting next to us.

We're like friends by the end of the night.

Lady's like, I got to hit the bathroom.

Paul's like, me too.

I got a hook and went back and found the other guy.

I don't want to say too much.

I don't want to get this guy in trouble.

But you know who you are.

Love you, brother.

What's that?

Oh, that happened?

Oh.

He's like, you know, some big things happened this week.

All right, weekend update's over.

Longest one I ever did.

But I told you, it was a banger, man.

Let me tell you something.

I had some fun.

I had to get an IV the next day after that one.

I was like, oh, I can't go home like this.

So something huge happened yesterday.

Ladies and gentlemen, what do I tell you all the time?

When is it going to get bad enough that people

are going to vote to change?

Now, is it bad enough in the United States?

When I say change, I mean real change,

like Rudy Giuliani, New York change,

Reagan revolution change.

When is it going to get bad enough?

And a lot of people are disappointed when I tell them,

and I got to take my mandatory poll in the chat.

Is it bad enough yet?

I'm not saying Biden's going to win.

I'm saying, is it bad enough yet that Donald

Trump wins 45 states?

The answer is, no, it's not.

It's bad enough that Trump could win.

He's ahead in the polls.

But is it bad enough for a landslide

where the Democrat Party's done for 10 years?

The answer, I'm telling you, is it isn't.

It's not bad enough.

Think about this.

How bad did it have to get in Argentina for this to happen?

Argentina, Guy, you know South America well,

like I do, correct?

Argentina can be a very left-leaning country, right?

For a long time, the Peronists over there,

they've had actual commies in charge of Argentina

that have blown up this economy forever, right?

Now, you think it's bad here?

What's the inflation rate been in the United States?

Nine, six, three, four.

That's pretty bad, right?

You know what the inflation rate in Argentina was?

140%.

And finally, as you can see from this AFP article,

Javier Mele won the election

and vows the end of Argentina's decline.

Ladies and gentlemen, it only got bad enough

after 140% inflation.

You know who Javier Mele is in the chat?

You know this guy?

Listen, let me just caution you for a minute

because a lot of people have fallen in love with this guy.

He seems like a good libertarian guy, I get it,

but please, we don't worship politicians here,

no matter what.

We worship what?

God?

And we look out for results.

Javier Mele seems great,

but even though he's in Argentina,

conservatism around the world matters

because it's infectious.

We're seeing it in Finland.

We're seeing it in Sweden.

We're seeing a renaissance in Germany.

We're just seeing it in Spain.

They've had enough of the socialist commies there too.

You are seeing a worldwide change where it's bad enough.

If you've never heard of Javier Mele,

I want you to listen to this 30 seconds.

Joe, you translated this?

This is Joe's voiceover.

This guy's good.

This guy's real good,

but we better look out for results.

Check this out.

You can't give shit leftards an inch.

Can you define shit leftists?

All collectivists, all kinds of collectivists.

But why do you call them shit?

Because they are shit.

If you think differently from them,

they will kill you.

This is the point.

You can't give shit leftists an inch.

If you give them an inch,

they will use it to destroy you.

You can't negotiate with leftards.

You don't negotiate with trash

because they will end you.

You ever heard of this guy?

I've been following this guy for a while.

Remember, we look out for results.

We're gonna keep this guy honest,

even though he's in Argentina.

But man, this guy's good.

By the way, that's one of 1,000 videos of him doing this.

You see the one where he wants to cut government?

He puts all the government agencies on the board,

education, he throws them away.

This one's out.

We'll see what he does.

We've been told a lot of this stuff before,

but we're starting out really good.

And I'm so glad when this guy won,

I saw my name appearing all over social media.

I'm like, why am I on Twitter this weekend?

Trending a bit here.

What's going on?

And it was because a lot of people put in there,

finally, as Bongino said, it's bad enough in Argentina.

Apparently it is.

Is it gonna be bad enough here?

I don't know.

But things like this don't help the left.

Folks, there's big news this weekend.

The January 6th tapes finally came out.

Speaker Johnson, and again, we go back to what?

We don't worship politicians.

We look for results.

That's it.

Johnson, we've had some upside, some downside.

Wasn't happy about the CR.

I realize he's limited what he can do,

but wasn't a great deal.

Let's just be honest there.

The CR was shit.

However, he said he was gonna release the tapes,

and he did.

And people have been pouring through them.

I can't go through all of them, obviously.

It's tons of hours, but I picked a few.

And one in particular, I'm gonna start out here.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is a tragic video.

I'm gonna tell you why in a minute.

But now, now we know why they wanted

these tapes hidden so badly.

Because folks, they only wanted you to see one side of this.

And let's be clear.

Let's not put blindfolds in front of our faces.

There was a lot of stuff that went down that day

that shouldn't.

And we should acknowledge that.

The left can never acknowledge.

Who instigated it or not, ladies and gentlemen,

honestly, I'm not sure.

All I know is stuff happened,

and whoever did it shouldn't have done it.

However, there was clearly another side to this.

And what we were told about this mass rampaging

of the Capitol and attempted takeover of government,

folks, if you're just looking at evidence,

if that happened, I'd show you the evidence and tell you.

That's not what the evidence inside the Capitol says.

I'm not telling you stuff on the outside.

Some of that shit was bad news.

But the evidence from the inside of the Capitol,

it's kind of hard to justify what they told you

that it was the greatest insurrection since 9-11.

The reason they didn't want you to see this

and only wanted you to see what happened on the outside

and the bad stuff is because they don't want you

to contrast it with what the left does,

like burning down office buildings,

Antifa riots, and everything else.

This is probably the most tragic story of the day.

I wanna show you this video here.

And you may say, why are you showing this one

of all the videos?

It'll make sense in a second.

Is this a VO or is I?

Yeah, okay.

Check this out.

Here's a video from inside the Capitol.

You're gonna see a guy in a red shirt there walking by.

You see him?

Some of you see where I'm going with this.

Dan, that's, what are you pulling this video for?

Folks, does that look like a takeover of government to you?

That guy you're looking at right there

that Guy stopped on is dead.

That's Matthew Perna.

He was only in the Capitol a few minutes,

didn't steal anything, didn't burn anything,

didn't beat anyone up,

didn't bear spray or shoot anyone.

Matthew Perna is dead.

Matthew Perna was locked up by our FBI.

And during the course of the plea agreement,

our Department of Justice decided

for that, that they were gonna seek

a terrorism enhancement for Matthew Perna.

Nine years in prison he could have gotten.

Matt took a rope and hung himself in his garage.

You play that again, Guy, would you mind?

Nine years in prison?

For that?

Nine years, terrorism.

This is why the left, ladies and gentlemen,

did not want you to see this.

The left didn't want you to see this

because now they know you know

that we do not have two systems of justice, we have one.

It is a communist system of justice with a hierarchy.

If you are a Trump supporter and you do that,

you walk in the Capitol, some through an open door,

you don't get charged with trespass,

you get a terrorism enhancement

and potentially nine years in jail

where he eventually hung himself.

If you're a leftist, you march inside the Capitol

and occupy Kevin McCarthy's office during the CR

and you don't leave, what happens to you?

Jack shit and Jack left town.

You understand why they wanted to hide these tapes from you?

It's not for the reasons you think.

They wanted to hide these tapes from you

because they don't want you to be able to compare