the mother-daughter dynamic, a talk with my mom [video]

Today, I have a real, real treat for you, my mother.

Oh my gosh, like there's just a list that goes on like you're a workaholic.

I feel like I don't give off that vibe, I feel like I give off like slacker energy.

Oh God, I don't think so. Recently, you've been getting out more, which I think is great. But like before that, though, I mean, it was all about just like, Oh, I have to do this, this, you know?

You're definitely like that, too, though.

I mean, that's what I'm saying, like, you know, it's you wouldn't just like, let loose and go have fun.

I was too scared, I think I was like, scared that I would like lose it if I was like, too much like that. When you were younger, did you do that, too? Were you, like a workaholic, with school or with work, or were you like, No, I'm going to go out and be with cute boys?

I think any opportunity that I had, like if friends were going out, it was like, where are we going on Thursday night? Like, we had the dance clubs to go to, and, you know, we had our routine and stuff. So any chance I got, I would definitely go out, whether it was a party or, you know, clubbing or whatever.

But that's interesting because you became a workaholic later in your life. Now you are the most like that is like you to a t.

I thrive on accomplishing stuff, like I thrive on getting shit done.

So it's not that it makes you like, it's not that you love it, but rather that it feeds you.

It depends also what kind of work for work work like. It's an integrity thing, you know what I mean?

Wow, I am your mother's daughter in this way, but it's like, so, not like toxic. But we're definitely both such perfectionists about. I mean, not, I wouldn't say just our work life, but I think it's very, very apparent and present there. But just in general, I feel like we're both, so things have to be done right, right.

Because otherwise, you think you sit and think about it, you think like, Oh, we could have done this better. Or you see it physically, see something that's not done, and then it's, you know, little the details, right, like.

Well, we definitely do another way. On my mother's daughter, growing up with my mom was like growing up in an army base. Every single household chore was boot camp, doing the dishes, boot camp. Like literally, my mom would like inspect the fork after I washed it.

Yeah.

Did you do you know that you have to refill the sponge with the soap? Okay, obviously you don't. Yeah, when you look at me, what do you think I get the most fixated on?

I think it's like controlling what's going to happen, hmm.

I love to have a plan.

Yeah.

It's terrible, I'm like, so bad, like it's from like kind of random daily tasks, everything has to be timed out on my Google calendar to like. I need to know like, who's going to be my maid of honor in my wedding? I need to know who's I'm going to marry.

I think that's an age thing, too, though.

Were you like that?

I mean, I feel like it's kind of a goal, like a life goal or something, and you want to get. We're very impatient, that's the other thing, so we want to get to it as soon as possible. Cause you have it all planned out.

You know, you have your career, you have a child who's a nightmare, and that's so much, so distracting.

And then you have filled with a lot to do on a daily basis.

In what ways are we different?

Well, like I said, I mean, I think you rebelled against my precision on things. And so you kind of, like, when things are a little more knocked around. Beat up, wonky, crooked, you know, a little messy like you, you know, you, you kind of rebel against that, you know? It's not like your house is dirty or unorganized, it's more like you might be attracted to. Um, like a little vintage piece of artwork or something. And it'll be, you know, maybe chipped up and knocked around and not, and I'd be like, Oh no, but it's got chips and not, you know, dents in it. And you're like, but that's what I like about it. And I like things to be like more. You know, I like, you know, vintage things or antiques, but I like them when they're refurbished.

Okay, so that's one way we're different. Do you think we're different socially?

Oh yeah, why? cause I'm not social.

You're definitely outgoing.

But I don't. I get bored at, like, you know, social events where it's maybe like, I have trouble hearing people talk, you know, like, I can't if there's a lot of people talking, like, so it's hard to have a conversation. So I feel kind of like I, I start to like close up because I, I can't understand what anyone's saying. And then I'm like, I. I'm just like, just shaking my head and I'm just like, you know, and so I feel that's awkward to me, you know?

But that's also such an interesting perspective, because it's like, it's so true that in most social situations, a party, a club, like, you know, a bar. It's fucking loud, it is just loud, and it's not fun to talk to talk. It actually is awful. Like, I, you know, when I go out, and, as we know, I've been doing it a lot.

It's awesome, it's so fun.

This is totally a detour. Now we're going in a completely different direction. But share the best tea I've ever given you. Well, what was a story that I got in the car and I called you and I told you about where you're? Like, this is the juiciest shit yet, it's usually like.

When you've seen somebody that you haven't seen in a long time, or you met somebody for the first time. And you know, you just like, really hit it off and it would be like an unexpected person, you know, that boy drama?

Yeah.

Boy drama is always the best, right? Like, that's like, Oh man, like, who would have thought that would have happened? or, you know, that they that they would have said that, or, you know, um, it usually has to do with boys. It's usually like, where you've seen, you've been out and about, and you've seen, seen someone, and then you see, you know, yeah, that was kind of the best.

You're alluding to?

You know what I mean?

In L.A. I think it's like you're always going to see people out that you have like a history with, whether it's an old friend or an ex or whoever. And it's like, I think those are the best stories for you. Probably because you know these people, you've met, these people, and then now it's like, interesting to see what? But that is the problem.

Sometimes, you know like, Uh, I'll have been a fan of, maybe it's a music artist or, you know, an actress or a model or something like that. And you've become friends with them. And then you come home. And then you tell me stories about, like an evening out where you've run into them and then the conversations you've had or whatever. And I'm like, so riveted because it's so fun. It's like someone that you, maybe, you know, watch them on TV when you were little. And so I've watched these people grow up to be, you know, successful, whatever artists, musicians, whatever they are.

What they're really like?

What they're really like, or like, you know, whatever, it's just so fun.

I honestly feel like I go out and be social for the debrief after with you and my friends. It's like, that's what it's about.

I kind of like, wake up automatically at like, 2 a.

Speaking of you tracking me on my phone, but you are, you're an anxious parent.

Yes.

Why don't you sort of dig into how you manage being a deeply anxious person and having a child?

Well, I mean, I didn't even want to have a child because I knew that I would be such an anxious parent. Um, so it was almost like, Oh my gosh, I am not the kind of person that should be having kids. Cause I'm going to be. I'm going to be worried about the baby inside my tummy, you know, worried about the baby coming out. Okay, I'm going to be worried about everything.

I know it's so reflective of my personality.

Oh my gosh. Afterwards, you know, we'd go to nurse and you'd fall, you'd constantly fall asleep. And then the nurses would come in. And they would be like, jamming your face, you know, like to nurse, and then you'd be arching your back, like, and then I was like, I was like, Oh man, we are in for it.

Thank you so much.

So the worry just went on and on and on.

You were anxious and you definitely needed to know where I was at all times, and you definitely were like, you know, you had a leash on, a metaphorical leash on, because some parents actually do the little leash on the kids, you had a metaphorical leash on me. It wasn't like I was a complete loose cannon, but you did kind of let me be a loose cannon. I mean, like, when I look back, it's like, holy shit.

First of all, like, I trusted you, like I didn't feel like you were going to. You know, make make a bad, you know, everybody makes bad choices, right? Like we make. That's how we learn. But I didn't have the, uh, the capability of tracking you until you were a little bit older, until you had your first iPhone. Basically, because I feel like the other ones we didn't do that. Um, and it was. It's because my my intentions, or my thoughts about, uh, tracking you or keeping an eye on you. It wasn't about what you were doing or who you were hanging out with, it was just more about, um, being able to rescue you if you were in a bad situation.

So that's what you were more anxious about, rather than what I was actually doing.

No, I was never worried about what you were doing, it was. It was never about, uh, controlling what you were doing, who you were hanging out with. It was about keeping you. Just knowing that I could come and save you somehow, cause you didn't like it at first.

No.

I mean, I think it's invasive. But then once I said, Hey, you know, but if you're in a situation and you can't call me or something, then I can. I can literally drive to wherever you are and and I can pick you and your friends up. And and get you guys out of a bad situation, or maybe a situation you don't want to be in. Which happened? It happened where you guys would be in a house party and the cops would come and you guys.

Would be hiding in the bushes, so scary.

And you're like, texting me and you don't even know where you are. Yeah, there was no address because, and you don't even know what street. And I literally could, I would just jump in the car and I would find you that way.

I know it was like, I literally the amount of times we got the cops got called on us, like, I wonder if that's normal, like, did you have the cops called on parties when you were a kid?

But we never, you know, we'd all get word and then everybody would split and hide until they drove away, and then you would, you know. I remember, like the the Uber account, it's like my Uber account and you guys would go and then you guys would split, you know, the Uber or whatever. My rating went to shit when you guys would go to what, what was it? Shoreline, yeah.

Shoreline, for context, was this like it was this music venue? Um, not super close to where I lived, but you know, like 40 minutes to an hour. And it was where there was $50. Country concerts, country shows and all the all. The high schoolers would go and get super drunk and just like, make out with each other, and it was really weird. Um, in retrospect.

I think it was so good for you to have that independence, because I feel like completely. I mean, even though you might've been drinking and making out with boys and doing all these things. That if the parents really knew, they would be like, Oh, that, that's not allowed, well, that's the thing.

I do think like, you can't rob your child of like, experimentation, like you can't like, but within like, you know, but you. There's a responsible way to do it, and I think you, I think you did it.

I mean, if you were messing around with like, scary drugs and stuff, or like hooking up with 40 year old men, I'd be like, absolutely not, you know what I mean. But you guys were all with each other, you guys had been around each other since you were. Like in fourth grade or fifth grade, or even younger, some of you even knew each other as toddlers.

You know, but to an extent, you have to let your kids touch the stove to know that it's hot while keeping the leash on. Those still too like, it's like, you know, you were in control of the situation enough, where it's like, I, and you also educated me enough. To a point where you were like, she's not, it's, she's not going to get hurt, like we're not, she's not taking anything to a level where it's she's fine, yeah.

I didn't feel like any of it was dangerous. Um, and if I did, I probably would have said no, but I never felt. I felt like you were smart, you were also like nervous and worried, so you weren't going to be like, I wasn't totally cool and badass.

I was like, so scared of everything.

You've never been reckless, and that's the thing, that's a difference.

I've never snuck out, I feel like I'm the only kid that never I know. Do you think my personality was set when I was born, or do you think that you and my dad influence? Yeah, like, do you do you believe this is actually? Let's take me out of the equation? Do you believe that personality is innate, or do you think personality is developed through parenting, or do you think it's a combination of both?

I think it's a combination of both. But like, you came out a Rebel 100 and I saw that from the get go, from the very. I didn't understand it, um, the way I do now. Like, I think. Different people wrote books on personality types and there was, like, personality quizzes and stuff. And so, um, one of the ones I really liked narrows in on four different personality types or tendencies that we have. I remember it because it was right around the time you started high school.

What's your personality type and what's mine?

Um, so the four, uh tendencies they call them is, um, the upholder, the questioner, the rebel and the obliger, and you're pretty much a rebel through and through. Like, there's overlap, obviously, on every single one. Um, but for me, I am 100 one of those people who will take care of everyone else.

You're the obliger, yeah.

Before I take care of myself, right? Um, getting better, hopefully, about that. But you have no accountability, so you're basically held accountable by outside forces or outside people.

I do feel like I I definitely have pieces of all of those, though when I think about it, like, definitely, I am rebellious. But I also think I can be a people pleaser and just be like, I will do anything for everybody. Yeah, and then I also think I can prioritize myself and be really selfish.

But I think some of that, though, comes from the parenting styles, you know, like where you're saying, did I come out that way? Or did? Because I feel like there's things that I see you do that come from situations that happened when you were younger, where I might've parented a little harshly. Or, you know, we've talked about this before, you know, reactive parenting has caused. Um, I don't want to say issues, but you know, like you kind of have, like, PTSD maybe, or I don't know what it is, but you know what I'm saying.

Well, it's very self-aware for you as a mom to say I did something that might've fucked you up. Yeah, but it's a very rare thing. Special.

Really, cause I don't know, I feel like all parents feel guilty about something, because here's the thing.

It's like, the thing is, every parent is going to fuck up okay, and it's about being able to apologize. Like, Lord knows, when I'm a parent. God, I don't know what I'm going to do wrong, but I will do something wrong.

But I mean, I'll do, cause we you just, you're learning as you're going. Kind of. It's not like, you know, I don't think any of us are prepared or know, I don't care how many classes you take, I don't. I did all that stuff and it didn't matter. You came out so opposite of me, you know? And so, you know, it's like, Okay, sweetie, it's time to brush your teeth, No?

To me, when I think of reactive parenting, it's like a more emotional tone. It's like a more. It's a more elevated tone. It's more of there's anger, you know, there's emotion.

It's like, it's, but it's also cutting off children and not hearing them, you know? Like being really emotional about something. Um, or snippy. And not giving a child a chance to say, Hey, wait a minute, I have something to say about that. No, you just need to go brush your teeth and go to bed, you know? It's like, But wait, I have something to say. Nope.

No, it's not sad.

It is cause you go. I just especially with, say, like in relationships with like friends or boys. And it's like, No, no, no, no, don't do that, it's I caused that for you, don't do that.

Don't like, be sort of more of a pushover or be like, too agreeable, or.

Be or not, feel like, or hesitate to to speak your mind. Because you were shut down as me, being a reactive parenting, uh, in, in that parenting style, kind of shut you down in a way. So you felt like you weren't going to be heard, or that you couldn't speak up for yourself. And so I've seen you do it in relationships, whether it's just friendships or, you know, where. The other person may not be the, uh, the best person to for you to be around. Because of their, then they bring out that, so then not that they would ever, you know, maybe even consciously take advantage of that of you. But but that dynamic comes out, and, uh, that's where. So one time I was, you know, it was like it was a real, and it wasn't even that long ago. I saw it on Instagram and it was somebody acting out a reactive parenting scenario.

Yeah, but ultimately, that is phenomenal parenting, though.

Like, well, you never stopped being a parent, right?

No, and and it's like, Okay, yeah, that was like a rough, a rough patch, you know, and it was and it. It definitely formed me in a way, I mean, every single little thing that happened when I was a kid formed me in a way. You know, also feeling like, like, I can call you at any time and talk to you about anything. And you're never going to judge me, and you're, you're always going to, like, you know, you're not going to get mad at me.

Have to let your ego go.

I agree, because that's why you're able to now to see this TikTok about how you were, how you parented in a way that you're not proud of. And to send it to me and say, I'm sorry.

Yeah.

That, like the you can't do that if your ego's in it and you're like, No, no, no, I have ego in being a good parent, a perfect parent.

But your dad and I have talked many times about this. It's like, you know, once you have a kid, you go out the window. Okay, it's not about you anymore. You have this little person and you got to give it your all.

It's a funny example to use, cause nine times out of 10, I'm I'm calling you.

It's about, yeah, it's about all of those things, which is just totally normal. Whereas other parents, I think, really try to control, you know, that, that kind of stuff. And it's like, why, though? Is it because you're worried about looking bad? Because your kids? Because your kids are boy crazy girls and boys, and are everybody's crazy about everybody? You know what I mean, at a certain age, it's like, So why do you care how that's going to make you look?

But also even like college, like, Oh, my kid needs to go to this college, or Oh, my kid needs to get this job. It's like it does really get. It's it's terrible on both ends. It's terrible. It's terrible for the child because they feel like they can't, you know, discover what they want to do with them, their lives themselves. But then it's terrible for the parent because I'm so sorry you're going to get disappointed.

Or if you put like rules into place like that, you know, we had conversations cause you felt like you had to go to this college or that college, or a good college or whatever. And it's like, No, wait a minute, like you can do whatever you want. You're in the driver's seat, you know, and it doesn't. No judgment here, you know, that's why you're doing what you're doing.

Interesting though, because how rare is it for a parent to know this is so backwards? How often is the kid like? No, I need to go to college. But something inside of me is telling me I'm not going to go, and the parents are like, don't go. When does that ever happen? But it's crazy.

It's it's crazy how the gut instincts, you know, really kick in. And because your dad and I, it wasn't about us, it was about you, and about you being happy, healthy, figuring things out. It wasn't about, like, oh, well, if she doesn't go to Harvard, then we're going to look like dumbasses or something like it. Just, you know it, it didn't matter to us, you know what I mean?

Well, right, it's like, who are y'all to talk, right?

Like, but it's, it's, it's like you could say, well, don't do what I did. Go to, you know, get for your education and and you know, reach for the stars or whatever. Um, but you don't have to reach for the stars on a certain path. And and you had made it really clear that that path was. Everyone's doing the same thing, everybody looks the same way.

I was going very Shakespeare, I was going, I was going very abstract art in the car with you that day.

And I was like, shaking, going, Oh my God, do I need to, like, have a, you know, like, sign her up with a psychologist like, I don't know what to do and and. And then it was like, we went to the, you know, college counseling and you walked out of there just shaking your head. And I'm going, I don't know what's going wrong.

I will say that was when I sort of, like my I started having very intuitive feelings at that point and.

Well, you said you didn't see yourself graduating from high school like walking the line, and it freaked you out. Remember that?

Well, that was what was so weird and to this day is so weird. With graduating high school in the proper way, right? Like walking down the line, like, you know, I couldn't see it, I could not see me in college.

You were so anxious about perfection in that setting, right? Like, because you were, it was. It was something you would say. I got to get into the best colleges I have to have.

It's so weird, yeah, the whole thing is weird. And when in retrospect, because it's like, most of the time. A kid's not going to Catholic all girls school unless their parents forced them to go right.

Yep.

And we weren't necessarily there, we weren't up there with that, We were totally fine, but we weren't there, right?

No, but that's normal.

But I mean, as a kid who doesn't understand.

I mean, and as even as a parent, you know, I wanted so badly to provide that a house with, you know, whatever, and then whatever kind of car you wanted when you turned 16. And, you know, like, I wanted to provide all that, and and that made us who we are today. You know, and and it, you know. But at the time, you know, my heart hurt, you know, to not be able to provide that for you.

Me fucking too, right?

So, I mean, I'm not. I don't regret any of any of it. But at the time, it was really hard because it was like I was constantly looking for the little house. Even just rent that would be affordable. And I think growing up, how I grew up, um, I also felt inferior, you know, to the kids that had the married parents, the the brothers and sisters in the house. With the two dogs. And the this and the that, and the two trucks and the car to go to town, and and, you know, all this stuff, like, I did not have any of that either, you know? And but I look back and I go, Oh man, my childhood is so interesting and dynamic.

But also, like when you're a kid, you probably have experienced this, like when you're a kid, you take everything for granted. You know what I'm saying, like, you, you don't realize how good you have it until you're older and you're able to see things from a worldly scale, yeah.

Right?

So then, but then I'm around it even more. And I was just so cynical. I was like, you know, like, fuck these people, cause I'm around, like, I'm around all this, I'm around. Actually. What I realized now was extreme wealth like that is an unusual, you know, sort of setup.

Like in most, or like the car of their dreams, brand new for their 16th birthday.

And then they crash it, and then they get a new one the next week, that's not normal. See, I just had no clue, I had no context, yeah.

It makes you cause it, cause you look back and you like. I so appreciate my my upbringing and my childhood and all the different stuff, and also to even yours, even though I want. I was. I was obsessive about, you know, like I said, getting the cute little house that you could have your friends over. And not, you know, be embarrassed. Because, you know, it was, you know, like, I actually, it was so important, it was so important.

It was so important.

And it was cute inside, it was super cute.

Let's just describe it. It was like, basically we had this apartment that we lived in for years and years and years. And it's like 10 years. It was like 10 years. And and I was mortified of this apartment. I'm so sorry.

The ones across from us upstairs were awesome, but the ones below us were.

We had, like, awful, in absolute feud with them, like it was insane. I had to tiptoe walking around the house. Because if not, they would start hitting the fucking ceiling with a broom and they'd be like, shut the fuck up. And they were always on some sort of drug, okay?

Right, and like my mom, calling the police all the time.

Oh God, they'd call the police on us, we'd call the police on them.

And I think reactive parenting came from that. Like, I'm not trying to make excuses, but that situation, I look back and I go. I should have just gotten us out of there because I would be so short tempered because of that.

It was hard because I lived like we had, I was going to school there and it was like going to be emotionally challenging to get me out of that school. And like, you know, you're like, by the way, we had, we were rent controlled there, right?

Yeah, the rent was so amazing. You could walk to school, so there are some good things about it, like you could walk to school or I could pop you over or walk you to school.

Because it was so fun, yeah.

It was actually like, location, location, location.

It was interesting, cause, like, I was always very embarrassed to bring other kids over. Because, you know, of course, naturally, I'm comparing this apartment to, you know, most of them had gorgeous houses, or whatever, you know, six bedrooms, but I was like. But what was interesting was that most of them actually did end up preferring hanging out at our at our place. Because it was cozy and it was in in, in. There was a, you know, a special energy there. And again, like I, I am so appreciative of that. We went off on a crazy tangent cause, and I'm glad we did, cause that was a phenomenal topic. But all of this was because I was saying, it made no sense for me to be like, I need to go to a Catholic all girls school. Because it was there was a lot of friction to get me there.

But did we ever do anything easy?

No, but I had, but I just got intuition there. I was like, I need to go to this Catholic all girls school. And then it was like, you know, I? I knew I had to go there, right? But then when it came to going to college, I, like, knew it was not going to happen.

And you're you kind of want to like, go, well, I could be wrong.

Like, and I do that, and then every time I do, I get fucked over.

Yeah, so I'm learning now that, but that's, that's such a gift, I mean, that's something to to pay attention to.

Do you have that?

I feel like we all have a gift for intuition. And so say, you're talking about a situation with, you know, a relationship, friendship, whatever. Does that not? I'm not saying specifics. And it comes in and it. And I might just have an intuition about somebody. And I'll and I'll say it, and I'm usually right. And it's kind of freaky, it's kind of freaky.

Yeah, mom's kind of no.

And maybe it's just because I've been around the block multiple times.

People always say that, like moms always know, and it's so interesting. Because fuck like you, you have nailed it on the head with, like everyone like you, you do know, like you, you. Immediately, I actually need to start asking you more like.

Cause I'll give you my opinion, I know, and it's not even judgment on someone like, it's not even like, Oh, those are bad people, don't hang out with them.

I mean, I think I might be in tune, but yes, there's a big well, no, I think.

What happens with you, though, is there, like, because you have anxiety, you?

I'm getting better about it.

It was, I was probably even in my thirties when I got, when I was able to get a handle on that and and figure out the tools. And you will, you'll get there, but it sucks because you'll spend so much energy and time and and lose a lot of sleep over this kind of stuff that you create yourself, that that 99.

I mean, I like, thank God that you are as anxious as me. Like, imagine you were sort of a child that you grew up just as anxious as me, but you didn't have a parent who understood.

Right, there's a certain feeling that you have when you're the anxious kid. That's, you know, worried about a lot of things. Because you're so distracted by the worry and the and that dark cloud following you around, that you just don't, you know, it's hard to to, like, let go and have a good time. And when you like, I just, you know, I. I see some of that in you. And so I try to do whatever I can to say, Hey, I did that.

And look, it makes it so much, it's so it is such a gift.

You have to, yeah.

Cause if you talk about it with somebody who doesn't, they'll make you feel crazy. Actually, they'll make you feel, you know, they'll completely. The way that their tone towards you will never be empathetic enough, right? Oh, only from somebody who has experienced deep anxiety only can they like, that's at least my experience.

Well, I never had, I never had anybody, I know, no one. I never had anyone to understand it. Um, not a parent, not a friend, no one. No one understood what I was going through, and it wasn't even like, well, no. Like. Panic disorder and anxiety generalized anxiety, and panic disorder was just not very commonly talked about or addressed. Or in most people, if they did have it, they were on anti-anxiety medicine, which was not an option for me.

I've noticed with anxiety is like once you understand it, and that's what's making it easier for me now. Like, knowing that it's normal and it's going to pass and that it's not like something is very, very wrong, right? I will say, though I've noticed in you recently, you're making friends in the neighborhood. My mom moved to Los Angeles, California, with. now she's not my neighbor, but she lives pretty close. And so, you know, we're L.A. girls now, obviously, but you like, I feel like you moving to L.A. has been really good for you.

That's weird, I know, it's kind of crazy.

But it's amazing. You, I think you're actually, I think, living in L.A. You know, you're coming out of your shell and I think you're learning to have a better work life balance. And I honestly think it's never too late to figure that out. And you know, you're at a place now where financially it's like, maybe you can give yourself a little bit. You've worked so hard for so many fucking years.

I'm trying, I'm doing, you will, it's baby steps.

Well, I'm here to be like, Okay, mommy, time to get out. It's getting weird.

Like, time to get it.

Mommy, you're being so boring. This is so weird.

But you know, it's funny, it's like back in the day, it's like, oh, you know, the different things that adults did. To go have fun is just not the stuff that I like, you know? So now it's like having, you know, taking out time with these new friends that I have to try new restaurants. Or, um, just have them over for coffee, or go take. Like, you know, take the kids for long hikes to the top of the hill. You know, like things that are just more in my, so I'm just more lined up with people that do that, that like to do the same things. And so it's kind of funny, cause I like, moved here and I've never looked back, and it's been so fun.

I, you know what like I actually think we love L.A.

I love L.A. everyone loves LA.

No, it's funny, cause like, you know, I hated L.A. for so long, I'm I'm actually like fucking into L.A. right now.

Me too. No, I'm not kidding. Like I went at the when I would come down and help you at the different locations you were at before. I was kind of like, Oh, I don't think so.

I don't think terrible areas.

Like, I was just like, I don't think I could do it. And then like, I got, you know, when I got kind of stuck here, you know? Helping to get the house finished and all that. And it just got a my house got got a routine down. It was like, Oh, well, I already kind of lived here so, and I like, and I liked it.

I know.

I love, I love it.

I love it.

I'm not like, I, just I'm giddy with how much nature I get to be in.

Like all the critters, she okay.

Or no, it's not salamanders.

What is it? It's lizard, Sorry, she has a lizard friend.

Western fence lizards and southern southern alligator lizards. Oh my God, there is so many cool lizards at my house, you guys like, No, it is so cool, like.

You're definitely an animal person like I. It's very special.

I would rather be with the animals than be out and be social.

See, you're one of those that needs to wear the shirt that's like, I like my dog more than people like, that's you actually.

Like when it's like the picture of the person laying on the floor, talking to the dog when they're at a party, that's me.

Classic Sophia Yeah, classic Mommy mode.

Yeah, can't help it. Sorry, yeah.

Well, I mean, I think.

And I'm not going to apologize for it, don't.

No, I think the. I think their final conclusion is my mom likes any critter that's within a 10 foot radius of her house more than she likes me, and that's okay. And as a relationship.

And right now, because you're older and you're now an adult like, they can take priority over you sometimes and you don't like it.

No, I actually kind of am relieved. I'm like, Oh, you know what, she's having fun and I can call you at 2am while you're cuddling with the critter, right, like?

I know.

Well, mommy, thank you for coming on the show.

You're welcome.

It was fun. Did you have fun? Yeah, did you come back?

Oh my god, totally okay, cool, I feel like we could talk forever.

I know, yeah, then we will. Well, you'll come back and next time we'll talk about, we'll really dig into the rats.

Oh God, yeah, no, no, and I should probably stop saying God, I keep saying that.

You can say God, oh, you can say fuck, you can say shit, you can say God.

Just say anything you want.

You can say, damn.

Okay, good titties. Okay titties and ass.

Cooter vagina.

Vagina.

Peanut like penis.

Yeah.

Let it go.

Let loose, that should be like my warmup before I record is I make everyone go down the list of like, you know of like, ooh, that's a little spicy words.

Spicy, I like that.

And you did amazing.

Awesome.

I can't wait for you to come back, I know.

I can't wait to come back, it was fun.