Conan Must Go: Matias (Argentina)

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Hello guys.

Oh, hi Matias, welcome to Conan. O'Brien needs a fan.

Hello, what's up, hey Conan? Hi.

How's it going? is it? It's Matias? Is that right?

Yes, it's close enough, you can call me otherwise Matt, but there's two Matts then, so.

How do you let me do this? How do you pronounce your name?

Matias.

Matias Ok.

I don't mind sharing, we can both be matt.

I prefer Matias, Matuan and Matu.

I'm going to move us into a more profitable territory now. This is bullshit. Matias, How are you, Sir? And tell us, where are you?

Well, I'm from Buenos Aires, Argentina, actually, in the outskirts of Buenos Aires. And yeah, it's nighttime here. I don't know the time there, but it's a lovely weather. It's like 20 degrees, calm winds.

You know, excuse me, Matias, if I wanted to get information on the weather in Buenos Aires and the time, I think I could just consult my phone. I wanted to find out about you, the person you know. How are you, Matias? What makes you tick?

Well, right now I'm having a radio show. I've just started the 11th season of our radio program, that's exciting.

You have a radio show.

That's great, that's why you gave us the weather.

Yeah, he just does it automatically. How's the traffic? So, Matias, tell us about your radio show. That's exciting.

11 seasons, Yes, and well, the problem is that nobody listens to us, but otherwise it's going great.

When you say nobody, when you say nobody listens, give me an actual figure of how many people listen to the radio show.

About four, maybe three people. Jesus Christ.

I thought you meant, like, only a couple of, only a couple of thousand people. I didn't realize, what do you mean? You have a radio show and three people listen?

Are we the three people and you're doing the show right now?

Yeah, are you counting us? I think no. He just doubled his numbers. Oh wow.

Oh, exactly, yes, this is a peak international, peak no, but yeah, the problem is the radio station is small, and the largest radio show maybe has a couple of hundred listeners, yes.

So you have a radio show and the only people that listen is your family.

Yes, and not even all of my family, because it would be larger than three or four people.

Is there any way we could get the word out to the rest of your family that you have a radio show?

They know, but they don't, you know, actually come and listen to the show.

They should, that's terrible. I mean, they don't have to listen every time, but they should check it out once in a while.

Do your parents listen to this podcast?

Not once.

Yeah.

They think, they think that I'm an insurance salesman.

What's your radio show called? So we can plug it?

Well, the show is called DeCaF news, like decafinated news.

Oh, decaf news.

OK, yes, because we like to bring maybe news that they are not like the principal, main news of either the country or the rest of the world. But we like to pick random, interesting stuff that is going on, but sometimes we do talk about the big issues.

But mostly you talk about smaller stories, maybe stories that have to do it, might be heartwarming, or might be of local interest. Is that right?

Yes, or some weird news. We did some time, some time long ago, one news about a dentist in Wisconsin that was breaking a patient's teeth on purpose to gain more money. Basically, wow.

Now I'm smart.

I don't like dentists.

Keep them coming back, No, but I think the problem is Mateus. It sounds like you selected a very gruesome story from Wisconsin, and maybe the people in Buenos Aires didn't want to hear about that.

Yeah, did you consider Ed Gein the killer from Wisconsin?

We could do a column there with serial killers, famous serial killers we talk about. I don't know. Also movies and bands that have new albums coming out. But the news part, yes. Maybe it's a bit depressing, actually, now that I'm thinking about it, yeah.

And first of all, yeah, I just think I don't think you should be specializing in serial killers and teeth smashing dentists. And I think I could help you, Mateus. I do. I really think I could help you because I like you. You're very likable.

This may be a conflict of interest, but have you considered also releasing this radio program as a podcast?

Well, that's already taken, unfortunately, so I don't know maybe I can get Chris Martin. Uh, well, is that that would boost the show?

What's been is there already a DECAF podcast? I think he means our podcast, yeah, because he was talking about you, interviewing Chris Martin just now.

Oh, but you can release your show also as a podcast, can't you?

So more people around the world, we do that. Oh, we do that, I mean, we tried everything. Oh, and still for listening.

Wait, wait, so yeah, let's let's just clear this up here. This is important. So, Mateus, you're saying that? Matt suggested you maybe release it as a podcast, and he said, you've done that, and that didn't work either.

Um, no, but the thing is, the thing is, well, it's. It's great because maybe other people can tune into the show when in other days of the week. But the problem is that they're that rich, you know? In the end, though, those three or four people that we know get to the Spotify, or, you know? So the problem is that we try to attract more people. And we tried selling, not selling, a handing out movie tickets or CDs from bands that that were releasing their new albums. But mainly people in my family are in, they got those tickets, you know?

OK, so so, you've done the handouts, you've done handouts and giveaways and basically held contests. To get people to listen to your show. And the winners are all the people in your family, the four who listen to your radio show.

They got a ton of gifts.

And so they call in and you'll be like, come to the station, pick them up and they'll go, why don't you just bring them home with you?

It often went to like that, Yes, it's more practical.

Yeah, great Argentinian accent.

Your mom is from deep Texas, right? isn't that, right, Matias?

And yes.

Matias, Can you think of any way that I might be able to help you?

Well, maybe I don't know. You had a lot of experience in changing the format, getting people you know hooked during different times, so maybe there's like an idea for a new.

Yeah, I mean to get people. Here's what I can promise you, Matias, is that you currently have four listeners that you're related to. Yes, I can improve your listenership. I can't say by how much.

Should you do an actual active call for all listeners to go download DECAF News?

I think we could do that, we could do it well. Hold on, wait, let's hear what's that.

There may be, there may be a language barrier there because we speak in Spanish, but I don't know.

Si yo creo Oh, you speak Spanish? si yo comprendo, si es importante que nosotros, you know, ayuda.

Why are you Marlon Brando suddenly?

Eduardo is laughing at you. Did he say anything that made sense, you know, gente de Argentina?

What if we just have Matias? If you could give Conan one line in Spanish that he could read right now for the show, that's like, Hey, this is Conan O'Brien. Listen to DeCaF News in Spanish, even though most of that is would be English.

Well, yes.

Hola, amigos, yo soy Conan O'Brien.

Yeah, something like that, why don't we do this and then all our listeners can go listen to that.

OK, escuchan noticias descafeinadas.

OK, you got to slow it down. Escuchan? OK, listen, yeah, I know I got that.

Escuchan noticias descafeinadas, noticias descafeinadas so decaffeinated news, but in reverse.

Escuchan noticias descafeinadas? Si, and what's the time and the number and all that?

Yes, it's at a la una.

And what was the last part?

Radio Symphony.

So Radio Symphony?

Oh, is this going to make it 91?

I hope your servers are going to be able to handle this.

No, I'm going to need to practice a few times, OK, let me get we try one as a practice. Hola amigos, yo soy Conan O'Brien, escuchan?

That's pretty good.

I mean, I don't even speak Spanish, but that's awesome.

You don't think I'm putting emphasis on the wrong word? No, you did pretty good. Ask the little glasses to shut up, it's right there.

Isn't he doing something wrong? Is there some way that it could be better?

Cool, cool.

One more, Let me try one more, here we go. Hola amigos, yo soy Conan O'Brien.

Uh, I hope so.

Wow, you're just injecting pure confidence. Why don't you lie about who you are? Why don't you say you're Messi? Oh yeah, oh yeah.

This is going to help you, OK?

Hola amigos, yo soy Lionel Messi, escuchan noticias descafeinadas a la una en Radio Symphony Si es Messi 91.3..

Hola amigos.

Yo soy Evita, OK, this has gotten too stupid, this has gotten way too stupid, he said. Lionel, Lionel Messi.

Yes, I think we just had to reassure a lot of times that he was Messi, proves that he's Messi.

Yes, you're right, Messi, Messi in real life is constantly saying, Yes, I am Messi. Yes, wow, that's great.

Yes, are you actually known in Argentina? Because they they broadcasted the Late Night With Conan O'Brien show for a couple of seasons, maybe.

And then you've got the internet, yeah, internet, right?

Yeah, no, well, in actual TV and.

Well, let's just not mention those, let's just stick to you. Just. It was mine and then, you know, alf and silver spoons and stuff like that.

And then, yeah, I said, basically what you did with my radio show? I said, Well, this is Conan O'Brien live at this time this day. Well, it wasn't like it was pre-recorded, but I drew my desk. I basically did like, a promotion for you when I was 13 years old in my school.

You got the word out on on my show by drawing it on your desk, and now I've recorded.

The teacher wasn't happy.

What's? The teacher was not happy. Yeah, she didn't mind the defacing the desk, she just wasn't a fan of the show. Yes, well, I think we've each done a service.

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