Jon Bon Jovi Live from SiriusXM Miami Studios

Yes, I can tell that we are gonna be friends. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Conan O'Brien.

Wow, incredible.

I had no idea, I didn't know you'd be here. This is amazing.

Incredible, that's all I can say.

Incredible. They told me this was a storage room and it's like a surprise party. This is amazing. Thank you so much for being here. Who's from Miami? Are you guys from Miami? No, how many people just make noise if you're not from Miami?

Okay, what the hell's going on? Because yesterday I came out and talked to the crowd and went, Yeah, Miami, and they're like, I don't know, we're from Germany. You all who traveled the furthest to be here? If you think you traveled the furthest, raise your hand. Yes, how far did you travel?

BOCA RATON Oh wait, so you're all from Florida? Oh well, screw you. Then I did a show in Brooklyn and people were from, remember, they were from the Netherlands.

Oh, yeah, somebody came from like Venezuela or something. Yeah, exactly, and these people were like, Boca Raton, How long a drive is Boca Raton?

Oh, hour and a half to see the greatest comedian who ever lived, Who can't say greatest? But, says Gradiest, No. Thank you very much for being here. We're going to have a lot of fun today. And Blay, it's been pretty crazy since we've been here. I know you're not any of you have been to Miami before now, but. But no, we had a pretty good time.

Last night we hit a restaurant. And then I'm pretty proud of myself because I managed to avoid the paparazzi. And when I say avoid the paparazzi, I mean, they don't give a shit about me. I'm the most boring celebrity, but we come out of the restaurant last night with you and the whole entourage, yes.

And there's a paparazzi guy there filming us, that's right, and I come out, you tell the story, it's your show, you go ahead. Oh, I was just....

You're wearing the Hawaiian shirt, I'll just stand over here like an asshole, sorry.

I was just going to say, before we went out, this woman approached me and said, Mr O'Brien, there's a paparazzi outside. Do you want to go out the back? Yeah, and then....

And I was like, No, I want to see what paparazzi looks like, I want to see what this paparazzi thing is all about. So we went out the front and I brought you all out with me. And then the guy starts filming me and then I walk up to talk to him and he puts the camera down. And I guess it's online today.

I bored him to death immediately. You talked to him for like 10 minutes and then he was like, I got to go. He's like, I got to go. And I'm like, Don't you want a picture of me? Maybe kissing someone who's not my wife? He's like, Nah, I'm good.

That's the effect I have on these people I've seen. I've walked past guys before who have the long lenses in New York and they start to lift the camera and then they go....

I'm like, it's digital, you're not.

Just get one just in there, like, It's good, we're fine, you're too boring.

Hey Ruthie, how are you? you shooting this on the socials? I don't know what that is. I'm 85 years old. Hi Instagram.

How are you? Okay? Well, anyway, that happened.

David hopping is David hopping here. This is David's my assistant who fills in for Don't play music for David.

That's my music here, you stand over there, you're being punished for having your own music. When you came out, I didn't say give him music.

That's insane, no? We have so much to talk about. I talk about our big paparazzi experience. That was fun. Oh yeah.

Yeah, they couldn't wait to get away.

Okay, shut up. David Conan started to walk. And I was like, Do you want to see the buns? And the camera goes down so fast? Yes, give the mic away, there you go.

That's enough. David, You lost your mic. No, no, no, you lost your mic privileges. David. No, he'll get it back.

Don't worry, we're going to have such a good time, we're going to have a really good time here. Oh, one thing I have to mention, this show is going to drop in March, I believe.

Yes, that's correct, so please play along, okay?

You know, play along like spring really just sprang, you know? If I say, well, April only a couple of weeks away, sort of nod and go, Yeah, yeah, a couple of weeks away.

Boy, these are boring things I'm talking about. If I actually say those things, it means we're in deep trouble. But anyway, that's the plan. It's when, is it? David? Okay, it's March.

It's March. Yeah, too much, you overdid it. Some people came as far as Boca Raton, that's an hour and 20 minute drive.

Yeah, probably running an errand here anyway. So yeah, and then just came in here and was like, I guess I'll watch him.

Yeah, I've never seen the paparazzi photos of him, so I'll check him out in person. All right, well, I guess we should get started, shouldn't we? Yes, let's get David up here, David, you want to sit with me for a second?

What?

What, what is? what is this transition music doing? what's it accomplishing? I we? It was just it's a night we're playing you over to the stage. I just stepped up onto this little riser thing and there has to be a song.

Chair is too low. I'm sorry folks, I just I got to get it together. I stayed out really late at the clubs.

It's not true, it's not true. We dropped you off at the hotel and then Blay, Ruthie and I went out. I know I went right up to my room and, yeah, watch, like, Uh, just whatever.

I forget what I watched. Agent Cody Banks, Agent Cody Banks, too. They go to London. It's a true story.

Well, anyway, I'm a creep.

No, it's what was on when I turned on the TV and I thought of you because I know you love 90s television, I do. you even have a podcast? I do.

I'd like to. Why don't you say the name of your podcast? Oh, it's nice, it's called back to the best. Okay, you can all follow us in Instagram at BTDB Podcast.

We can pause so the audience can all follow right now, what are you doing? I just said, you can.

Thank you, there you go, all right well anyway. Uh, are you having a good time here in Miami? Yeah.

Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, okay, that's all the show we have.

Thanks a lot for being here. Uh, I mean, I'm very excited because we have. I think we should get our guest out here. I really do. I think we should do this thing, do this thing.

I never get to say, do this thing, but I'm going to say it now, let me get the correct card. Here we go, you folks, ready for our guest?

And what month is it? You bet it is March? It is, yeah, summer's coming on fast.

It's almost here. Hey David, what did you get for Christmas? What was your favorite gift? What about the Maserati I gave you? Hey, that was so nice.

I loved that. Yeah, yeah, too bad. We had to take it back, all right.

It was just a stunt.

I gave him a maserati and then took it away immediately.

My guest today is a Grammy award-winning rock and Roll Hall of Fame musician and front man, one of the most successful rock bands of all time. He now has a new single entitled Legendary, as well as a new docu-series I just watched titled Thank You.

Good night the Bon Jovi story. I'm thrilled he's here today. Jon Bon Jovi welcome.

I know that we are a similar vintage, I think we were probably born around the same time. And all I ever do is I walk in the room. This is like the best looking man I've ever seen at any age group. And I every day I look at my face in the mirror and it's a pumpkin rotting in the sun.

I don't know what you're doing, you're drinking the blood of the living, but whatever you're doing, absolutely incredible.

And I said, Why would anyone invite him in? He's the. He was on the podcast last week and he spent 15 minutes absolutely ripping me apart. And when he was done, I was laughing as triumph. He had the puppet there ripping me apart.

And then, uh, when he was done, I was really laughing hard, but when I went home, there was blood in my urine.

He attacks, you think you're having a really good time, and then you get home and realize, Oh my God, he destroyed me, he absolutely destroyed me.

You get a little older and how much harder you have to work just to stay at the same level. And if it's something you talk about, like, your work ethic is absolutely insane. And very admirable. Because people think being in a rock and roll band and being a massive star would just be fun.

But it's it's impressive, like how much work you have to do.

Really, it's a kid's show, five and six years old, No, but um, but it is, uh. And it starts out with you doing all these vocal exercise and you're just talking about, like, yep, 60. The band's been around 40 years. And I, you, you do all this work, and I don't even think fans. They're not supposed to know how much work you put into it, right?

You know what I mean, just if if you're not going to do it, don't be the fat Elvis.

I, I am, I plan, I plan to really fall apart and hang around, and I'm just hanging around. And we're constantly doing research that shows no one wants me anymore. And I'm like, I don't care. I'm going to eat these pork chops and get out there and just embarrass myself. Um, no, it is, uh, it is a real testament, and also it is a great story.

I think people should watch this because, like anything else, when you see everything that went into it. What I took away from it is you're this kid and no one's. You have music teachers in school telling you, Yeah, you're not a singer. You have people telling everyone's telling you you're not a singer. And you just are like, uh-huh, yeah, no, I am. You'll see, you just keep going in the face of a lot of adversity.

We're close enough to greatness, but we could craft our or we could develop our chops, we could learn our craft. We could, we could play other people's music and emulate them. Into the time when we got to that place where you felt that the hell would. And I'm going to jump off the diving board and see if I can swim, and so that was really important.

The time the late Seventies was a melting pot of great music that was happening, it was a time when a DJ could influence an audience. They had an endless playlist and a microphone, and they could talk to the audience and say, check this out. And a band could break out of a city.

It didn't have to be a national thing, with a big, you know, push behind it. So all of those things came together at a time for me that. But even by the time I was 18, I said, I can't play other people's music anymore.

The one thing that is a complete mystery to me, and I've said this to a lot of my musical guests, is songwriting. It's completely magical and you clearly have this great gift for it. But when you first start, how do you even know what you're doing?

And with time.

It went to the top of the charts, yeah.

You know, it wasn't why it was why not? We can do this, if you work hard, we can do this. And and and the film really was great for me because I got to look back at this 40 years in a in a time capsule, you know? And the four parts are well as you've seen, and I hope your audience has seen. Um, really telling, because it's all the warts, you know, it's it's the ups, the downs, it's the hurting, it's the healing.

Yeah, I mean, it's like, you're watching Survivor and uh, and uh, but that's the element that seems to be kind of important.

You're with these guys 24 seven.

Because could they, would they have gotten back together, or could they would they have had a healing because they had seen someone else somewhere get fixed? Because the Eagles were a great example, right? It's 15 years of not being together and then they get back together and they're still touring, yeah.

You know, every great band, if you think about it. Technically, the E Street band was not working together. The Eagles weren't working together, guns and roses were working together.

You're probably getting other illegal things, uh, for people as well, you're around it and this is at that level. And I've always told young people are always saying to me, if they're interested in comedy, they say, Well, how did you get into this?

Or what do you think I should do? What's your advice? I say, go to where they're doing the thing that you love and be around it, just get close to it. And if it means that you're getting paid next to nothing and you're getting coffee, do that.

The guy yells at Mick Jagger, Mick, Mick, Mick, give us a picture of the band. He grabs me and my friends, throws his arms around me and he says, This is our new band.

Somebody took that picture of, and if I'm not mistaken, it was Bill Wyman who held the door for us. And Mick said, Yeah, go upstairs. There was rolling stones in the lobby of this studio. Now, granted, we didn't get to hang out, we didn't get to talk. But I was lucky enough in that period of time to be there, having had several bands by that time. And when I'd gotten out of high school. That second cousin of mine is a guy that I didn't know before. Came to see my band play at my father's behest, and he said, the band stink.

The kids sort of got something and stay in touch. And so for 50 bucks a week, I called him in September, after I graduated high school. With no college on the horizon, he says, Yeah, I'll give you 50 bucks a week and come be a gofer. I was like, thank you, please, and I took the bus to New York every day and did that.

I didn't ask anybody for a favor, I didn't say, Hey, I think I'm pretty funny. You don't do that, you just be of service, you make yourself kind of indispensable to people.

And then they start to say, they're a little nicer to you, they're a little nicer to you. And when you have that proximity to it, it probably made you think this is achievable, this can be done.

I believe that the band weren't together yet. It made the impossible possible for me because 25 miles south was the Asbury Jukes and the E Street band, it wasn't Led Zeppelin.

That was just beyond the reach, that was too big. But those guys and they were right down the street. And remember now there was 10 Asbury Jukes and 70 Street band members. There was always going to be one of them bumming a beer from somebody somewhere, right?

You know, so you couldn't help but run into them, even though, you know, I was obviously the next generation, but I mean, the first time Bruce jumped on stage with me, I was 17 years old.

It's like, pretty, pretty unbelievable. It doesn't happen a lot, I wouldn't think.

Come on.

Yeah, I have my horn section at late night. For all those years. La Bamba, the guy who for years sang in the year 2000, he was an original, they were the horn section.

And of course, the e Street band are still doing their thing, so it's, yeah, they're still doing it, it's great.

Yeah.

Well, it's so cool because you put in all this work and all this time, it's really it's the third album.

I'm Conan O'Brien now and then all the way up that ladder.

Why aren't there more? And then people would just leave, kind of bummed. That was a real roadblock for me, but no. But it felt like when that finally hit, and then you're playing stadiums, you're ready because you've done.

And that was so my home club, which is no longer there, tore it down. But I thought we made it because we played there. You know, in every way, you know, getting a record deal or being opening, act opening for somebody at the garden, you thought that was it? All the way up the ladder and to this day, I don't think I've ever achieved the top of the ladder yet.

Every day you want to do better, not more, just you want to do better.

And I'm like, No, it wasn't, and it. People check me on it all the time and I realize it's not always fun to be around. But that's that's part of what it is.

If I, you know, I want it to be the best it can possibly be, you know, I just I can't do anything else.

You know, it's just sort of what I do, I guess at this point, it's just ingrained in me. I don't know what I would, what I would do if I didn't do it. Not on the stage, not in the spotlight, but just singing and playing and writing. You know, it's not generated or motivated by the spotlight or the stage.

It really isn't.

Do you have people you go to that you bounce it off of who you think are going to be honest with you?

But I would, but I would think at this, at this point.

It wasn't a beat record. I'm writing songs about George Floyd and about Covid and about gun violence. And my audience was like, Cool, no hits why? And I go well, depressing songs about the mood.

We can go out, you know, and you know, I don't have to sit home and drink, I can go out.

No, but I get to talk to so many people whose work I admire and who've achieved these great things. And what you're saying resonates exactly with what Neil Young told me not too long ago on this podcast. Which is, he told me that whatever is happening to me right now, it's not my business. Whether or not it's a big commercial thing or not. You know, you can have hits, you have not have hits, but what you're giving people is what is available to you and to them at that time.

I think he's off his meds, yeah.

That's fantastic. We arrested the suspect at the John Bon Jovi rest area.

You played in the Soviet Union. We did, which is absolutely unbelievable to me. Before the wall came down, you guys were there.

We were and I.

You know? So there was more security on the catering backstage than it was on any band's dressing room. Because they were like, if they see the hard rock cafes, cheeseburgers and French fries, there will be a fucking riot. And meanwhile, we're playing at this festival with these other bands. And nobody gave a shit about that because the security was truly crying when they saw the kinds of food. So we went to the Soviet Union. Yeah, and it was a part of a deal that my first manager who was arrested for smuggling a lot of drugs and whatever.

And so I had to go in the snow to the Soviet Union and say, we're coming, yeah. And he put a package together with some of his acts and some of his friends, and we went and played. It was a crazy story. He never went to prison.

And that's you have to really work at it, you have to keep trying. Uh, and it's it was. I took a lot of inspiration from your, from your documentary, cause I thought this is a. This is a guy who has put in the work over and over and over again.

Thanks.

And and I'm the only one in my family that ever did. It wasn't like we had a musical household, but that was my love. It wasn't I was drawn to it for celebrity, it was just I just needed it in the morning, so otherwise I really could have been happy.

It's it, it's not driven by anything other than the sheer love.

That's people in a restaurant looking up, seeing you and then looking back down at their food for a second. You have to love the thing that you're doing and that has to drive it.

Looking hot in an Instagram picture is pretty shallow it used to be.

I think I've been at maybe 10 different benefits over the years where you've shown up and played. When you're playing your music, just watching people jump up on their feet and sing along. One of the coolest things I ever saw is. I was standing near your wife, Dorothy, and I think you started to play one of your many hits, and she jumped up and started singing along. I thought my wife doesn't do that.

My wife's like, whatever you think, he's funny, all right, but I love that you guys have been together forever. She seems like your biggest fan, which I thought was very cool.

It's called Hampton Water.

I'm on my job, you know?

Yeah, it's funny, because this is a true story. Sometimes different singers or actors are associated with a really cool liquor. And I remember a couple of years ago, my manager was like, you got to get in on this. And I said, no one's going to buy a tequila or a whiskey because it's associated with Conan O'Brien. And he was like, Well, we got to think of something.

We don't really have to think of something. I'm fine. He's like, you're not thinking straight, Clooney, and he starts yelling about all the people who've made all this money, probably shouted your name, too.

I'm telling you, Jon Mottrovi is killing it. You got to do something. And then he called me up later and he was like, hair pomade.

Now, wait a minute. I was like, Wait, so you're the businessman here. do you want to go in? Yeah, because you've got iconic hair.

I have, you know, hair, that's it's a punchline, but it's gotten me through and so I think, you know, let me know.

All right, well, I want to make sure I get the word out. Here. Check out Bon Jovi's new single, Legendary, as well as the four-part docuseries Thank you, Good Night.

The Bon Jovi story, which I recommend because it's really a terrific document and also just kind of to me a how-to of. Well, yes, you get the luck you get. I mean, you clearly were born with all these gifts. But then you made sure you made absolutely sure that that success had every opportunity to happen, just through working your ass off.

I mean, the paparazzi not being interested. Hey man, thank you so much for doing it.

He looks so much better than me.

It's infuriating. I couldn't even think I kept falling in love with him as I was speaking to him. You're very handsome too, right guys, come on.

That was horrible, I hated that. I'm just trying to help you out. You're not bad looking too, right? Everybody? There's $100 in it for each of you.

If you applaud his rotting skull, quiet you. Now we're going to take a few questions from the audience. Oh sure, this is where I get to find out what's going on.

Hello hi, what's your name? I'm Kaya, hi kaya.

Hi, how's it going good? I just can't believe you're there, I'm sorry.

Look, I can get even closer.

So in the game, hold it. Did. Your phone just go off? What the hell you're running my social media empire and your phone just went off?

I'm so sorry. Do I have a microphone so I can stand? Is that okay? Yes, of course, here take this one.

Hello, there we go, this thing's on. Yes, I'll stand closer to you so you can really see.

Is this too much for you? Okay, it's okay, and this is what women do. When I get close to them, they go, No.

You heard the game in the game. Yes, yes. I play this with my grandchildren all the time.

Before you go to bed, little ones, we're going to play Fuck, Marry, kill in the game. If you can only pick male comedians, only male comedians, only male comedians. Yeah, yes, who would you choose? And a bonus if you choose Flula, but that's a wild card.

Oh man, Flula Borg, I don't know if you guys are familiar, but he's a hilarious. Yeah, yeah, he'd be. Maybe I would go with Flula for sexual relations, because he is just he's chiseled, you know? Yeah, he's like a piece of Bavarian furniture.

I don't even know what that means. I apologize. Then do I do the other two as well? Okay, so who would I, who would I marry? let's see.

I would marry, I think I'm going to marry Bill Hader.

Because he just does bits, he does such great impressions all the time that I would feel like I was constantly with a different partner.

And we're never real with each other. Whenever he comes over to my house, he's like, Yes, Mr. Bragg, and I'm like, Oh my God, I'm with a new person. This is fantastic.

And then who am I going to kill? Okay, let's see who am I going to murder? There's so many that I want to murder. The list is so long.

Yeah, I would. No, I'm going to murder Jack McBrayer.

I love him, I love him, but I just want him to hear that. I said, I'm going to get him.

And he's another person who I'm never real with. I'm always like, I'll point to an elevator when I'm with Jack and I'll say, Does it scare you? because it's a moving room? Did they not have that back on the farm? And he's so funny, he'd be like, Sir, I know what an elevator is.

And we just do that back and forth, like idiots, for hours. But he needs to be murdered, I'm going to murder him. Yeah, that's a good question.

Hello, oh, I'll get you. yeah, it's this woman next, and then you and I'll take care of everybody. Hello, hey, I love your hair.

Thank you, you look fantastic. It's dark. Thank you. yeah, that's so cool.

How did you do that? Someone I paid too much money for did it for me because I don't trust myself. Okay, okay, all right.

Well, it's cool to see you have a fringe of gold around your face. It's beautiful halo effect. Thank you. Yeah, I'd like to have the same thing done to my hair.

You can have it, we can, we'll trade. Okay, you don't want this. This is a curse. We'll see what happens. So what's your name?

Sammy Hey Sammy, hi hi, a longtime listener, first time caller.

Thanks a lot. I have a twofold. So I really like the muppets. Which muppet do you sincerely relate to? and then would that muppet play you in a biopic?

Oh my God man, I wish I knew the muppets well enough. I think it would be cookie monster because I eat very quickly. I grew up I was one of six and they would put food out and like cookie monster. I just throw the food at my mouth and it all comes falling out.

It like, You know, so I'm a very right. You can attest that. I'm a very fast eater. I eat things like very fast, and I always when I see cookie monster eat. Anyone who knows me knows that that's Conan.

You know, there's like a ham sandwich and I'm just throwing it at my mouth and there's just a big piece of felt that blocks it from going in. And just, I mean, cookie monster, he wastes so much food, those cookies go flying right out of his mouth, so yeah.

And I would want him to play me in the biopic, yeah, or maybe he would, Yeah, no, maybe.

I don't know, I don't know. We would have to, he'd have to do like a swap, because I'm more, I look more like Elmo. You know, we'll hold an audition, what's that?

We'll hold an audition, okay, we'll figure it out, but that's that's my answer for now, yes.

You have a question. My name is Delaney. Hey Delaney. cool name. that's your first name.

Yeah, that's so cool. Thank you. Is your cause? Your first name's a last name.

Is your last name a first name? Unless Costello is a first name? Delaney Costello, that's a cool name, thank you.

Also Irish sorry.

It's a terrible thing. Yeah, I don't know why I'm bragging. No, no one's bragging. You're just identifying the disease and we're going to talk about it.

Um, so we, we didn't plan this. I have a question about the Muppets, too.

Something about my fans?

And I, I don't have the most mature fans. Fair, especially this question, all right. Um, so if you had to kiss a muppet, which one would you kiss?

And why? definitely snuffleupagus Why? why? yeah?

Because I went to Sesame Street once to tape something years and years ago and I saw Snuffleupagus. Um, when he wasn't being operated and he was hanging from, uh, the ceiling, they like, hang him up there. And he was, uh, looked like one of Hannibal Lecter's victims. It was the most freakish thing.

And I felt so terrible for Snuffleupagus. That part of me wants to see him alive and then embrace him and kiss him and cover him with caresses. Because what I saw just shocked me. It was horrifying, It was like someone was leaving, it was like a mob guy was leaving a threat.

Like, we did this to Snuffleupagus and we're going to do it to you next if you don't come across. So anyway, uh, yeah, I'd like to see Snuffleupagus alive. Cause that sort of traumatized me. And then the idea that we would have a romantic liaison.

Um, sounds like you've thought about this a lot. It's all I think about. I was just backstage thinking about it, and then when I was with Jon Bon Jovi, I was thinking about a threesome.

Is this why you didn't go out last night? Because he's so big that you know you'd lose Jon Bon, you wouldn't even know Jon Bon. Jovi's there for a while and then he'd sort of, whoa, I didn't know, and then he'd go back into something.

What are we doing? Is this any way to behave? I don't think so. Delaney, that's even your real name.

I don't think it is. Oh, here we go. Hello, hello, hi, what's your name?

My name's Emily. Hi Emily. I'm so nervous. I'm so happy to talk to you. Oh, don't be nervous.

It's just me to make you feel better. Though I did have to leave at 1130 this morning, I didn't get here till 445, so you're welcome.

Wait, where are you coming from? Central Florida? So is it the traffic? Is that what the problem is? Yes.

You know what I'm going to do the next time I do? One of these is send all the fans that get tickets sirens that you can put on the roof of your car. It would have been helpful.

You all get here in like eight minutes. If any cop stops you, you'd be like, No, it's my Conan podcast. SIREN Yes, so where I live is part of the largest retirement community in America, which is called the Villages, which is a crazy place. Why is everyone making noises?

Because everybody hates it, No, the older generation gets it all. Yes, that is my question, Why are you waving? This? Man's got a story to tell.

What did they do to you? They have the highest STD rate. I think, wait, everyone seems to know about this.

So my question for you is, No, no, no, no.

You're not going to, we're not going to get to you, you're not asking a question. Now until we fully examine what's happening here, you're now the guest. I'm going to cancel.

We're not even going to air Jon Bon Jovi. This is all going to be an expose on what's this place called, the villages, the villages.

They use a loofah system, they do so, they loofahs, but loofahs aren't involved in the sexual act. I mean, they could be sure.

So they have different, whatever color they have, you can look online, they have a color, I'm going to look online immediately, and so they'll have that attached to their golf cart.

So when they're driving around, somebody can be like, Oh, they're into swinging, let's go hook up with them. Yes, yes, so my question is, yes.

What kind of loofah would you want? What is the minimum age when you can be accepted to this? What sounds like a wonderland? You are old enough. What's that?

You are old enough to be there. I wish you had said, Not old enough. sorry, OK, I wish you had said, Oh, Conan, don't be silly.

You have to be much older than you are, so really, I could get in at my age. Yes, you could. OK, now, what if I can I get a place there and kind of visit every now and then?

So I don't have to stay there. Most of them are snowbirds and that they only come during the winter and then they go back up north during the summer. OK, why do you know so much about this? I work for the county that it's in.

So you're blowing that, you're a whistleblower, you're blowing. We're here like a historic Delaney. Write all this down.

Why are you only my fans? Then pretend to write She's blowing the roof off a criminal ring, and you're doing bits where you space write something in an improv class. We're going to go there all of us and stop this madness or participate, yes.

Oh, I think we're going to participate, definitely, this is a participation crowd. Oh, my god. Well, I don't want to be ageist.

I think whatever age you are, you know, good for you. You know what I'm saying. But I mean, oh my god. You went to such detail about what they're up to swinging, and then you said all this other stuff. And I blacked out for a minute.

OK, you did have a question, and then I'm going to have a follow up question for you, OK, just about application process, how long does it take?

Is it anonymous? That kind of thing? Because I don't want it getting out that I'm seeing a woman who fought in the Korean War.

Man, Edna and I really got it on last night, so what's up, what's going on? So my question is, if you were a member of the villages, what would you? It would be so great if your question wasn't about that at all.

Yeah, that would be hilarious. Do you like oatmeal cookies with raisins or without? Go ahead, OK, if I was a member, what would you want, your loofah to tell the other villagers that you're into?

Well, I don't know what they mean. Does any of you really know what the different loofahs mean?

White is novice and beginners, purple is voyeur, and people who like to watch pink soft wrap, people who like to do it with others in the room. And then there's more.

Blue lowest level of swap Those who can play well with others. Well, that sounds like me. Here we go. yellow mid-level swap for those who want to have fun but are still nervous.

I would be very nervous that someone's hip would fall off. Full swap those who say, what the hell, let it all go down.

Teal bisexual. For those who want to increase their dating chances is that it OK. That's enough, that's a lot, that's a lot of loofahs.

This is incredible, this is absolutely unbelievable. Yeah, triumph needs to go there. That's a really good idea, hats me on.

Soledge, the last time you had sex, you were with Nancy Lincoln.

You suck, you take your teeth out before. Hey, that's enough triumph.

What's this? I don't know, I'd say black full swap those who say, What the hell?

Let it all go down. That's what I would do, That's what I would do. Not because it's hard, because it's easy. Can I ask for, like, a handshake or something?

What's that? Can I ask for a handshake or something? It's going to end with a handshake, yes.

We discussed anal and ear sex and all kinds. Yeah, come on over, we'll have a quick yeah, here we go. thank you.

Let's do a quick hug here.

Seriously, I have a lot more questions for you. We'll figure that out. I didn't. You guys seem to all know about this place. It's incredible. I would love it if we all went together.

Because I don't want to go alone. I want to have people from Boca Raton with me, and then other people from an area near Boca Raton. And then other people that were in traffic all day. God, that's incredible.

We've got to go there, I've got to see what's going on. Incredible history in the making, okay?

They really are the greatest generation, aren't they?

They got us through the depression, they won World War II, and they're still out there. Oh, don't make things with your fingers, cut it out.

Grow up. You guys were really nice. you were also delightfully weird. What an odd group. Seriously, your questions were fantastic.

And I am, legitimately, I always say this, but I really mean it. I have like the funniest fans in the world. They're super nice and smart, but they're also very funny. And so, so lucky to have you guys come here and be hilarious improvisers. And I know that's not your name.

I'll see you guys next time, all right. We'll see you around. Bye-bye everybody, goodbye. Conan O'Brien needs a friend.

With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Mufsesian and Matt Gourley produced by M.e. Matt Gourley executive produced by Adam Sachs. Nick Liao and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.

Take it away, Jimmy.

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