#1978 - Ms. Pat
2023-04-28 02:33:41
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
Joe Rogan Podcast Check it out the Joe Rogan Experience Stream by day. Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
Hello Joe Rogan.
It's good to see you.
It's good to see you, too.
What's happening?
Ah, life, life is good. Moved back to Atlanta, my husband retired. I'm having fun, I'm getting ready to move into my first theater tour. Call your Girl Done made it.
That's beautiful.
Life is beautiful.
That's exciting. How's your show doing?
My show is doing great. We just wrapped it well. The third season just came out in February, got some big news coming, you know, see what the fourth season got to give.
You know, it's going great.
It's a funny, fucking show.
Thank you, people are loving it.
It's a real sitcom, you know, and there's not a lot of those anymore.
It's not, it's not, and that's, you know, we was nominated for an Emmy. Nice first time for Bet or Bet Plus.
Really, yes, yes, yes, the director got nominated for such a great episode and so we see what we can repeat this year.
Who's that gentleman that you brought with me last time, your executive producer?
Yeah, he created the show with me. Jordan Cooper.
Jordan Cooper is a genius. That young man. How old is he?
I think he's 27 now.
That's insane.
Yeah.
I've never met anybody that knows more about TV when he was telling us about the history of. Like, how Lucy and Desi Arnaz controlled that show, and how they took it and took it on tour, and then made it into a television show. Like, I didn't know all that shit.
He loves TV. We just we did a whole Lucy and Eltha, me and Tammy Roman, because people love us together. He brought her into, you know, he casted her before he dang near casted me, and he put us together. And he said, I'm telling you, y'all going to be like Lucy and Eltha. And that's what the world think we are now.
And they love us together. Shout out to Tammy Roman.
Shout out to Tammy Roman. I'm so glad your show has caught steam. Because that genre for comedians is kind of a dying genre, you don't really see sitcoms much anymore.
Not with comedians. Thank God, I had a million and one stories, and you know, thank God, you know. We on Bet Plus. Because they let us push the envelope, they don't, you know, they don't want to wrap it up in a bow, they let us wrap it up the Miss Pat way.
So we talked about everything the last three seasons, from, you know, from me having a gay daughter, the gay experience, you know, being in jail, being a teenage mama, hating my mother being molested. We just did black hair. We just did an episode on me being molested by my mama boyfriend, which was very funny but also very touching. And I did the episode to let people know that you can't change the past, all you can do is look for what's in front of you.
So don't whine about it, find a way to laugh about it. And it was a very serious episode that hit home for a lot of the people who watched the Miss Pat show, but they was able to laugh at it.
That's a complicated subject to try to make funny.
I try to make everything funny. JOE ROGAN I know you do. No. I tell people it's my story, so I got the right to react to it the way I want to. I could be somewhere crying.
For what? I found the funny in it and we wrote it into an episode and people was like, Thank you Miss Pat. You make me realize that I don't have to cry about what happened to me 10 years ago or 20 years ago. Forgive them and move the hell on.
My mama boyfriend is dead, other people who molested me is dead. Hey, look at me now. Even my kid's father. I talked about him many times to you.
I mean, he working at Jiffy Lube's and he done had like four heart attacks. I wish him well, I'm okay and that's what it's all about, it's about me.
That's a great attitude to have to get through life, like, because you really can't change the past.
No, you cannot, but I can control what's happening to me now.
What I love about your show is your show is doing things that, like some of the great old sitcoms did, like it's.
You know, people thought that that multi-camera shoot where you're doing it in front of a live audience, people thought you weren't doing that anymore. Which is kind of crazy. Because that used to be the thing that everybody wanted to do, you know, all the way back to, you know, before Seinfeld, Sanford and son, I mean, all in the family, they did all those shows with an audience.
Well, they went to canned laughter, you know, which was much easier. You know, if you ain't wrote nothing that's not funny and you ain't got nobody sitting there, you can just drop in the laughter.
What shows used only? I think, you know, I saw a clip of the Big Bang theory and it was a Big Bang theory. But without the laughs, like they removed the laughs so you could see, like, what the show actually is. I'm like, why are people laughing at this? This is strange.
Like, I don't know if that was a retake, you know how it is. Sometimes you have to do retakes, and sometimes you do them when the crowd's not there.
Well, last time I talked about Big Bang Theory, I got in trouble from little white girls. So they was down my throat. They was sending me death threats like they was all going to clone themselves together and whoop my ass. Because I didn't recognize the star of the Big Bang Theory, but I mean, I've never watched the Big Bang Theory. But I'm quite sure. A lot of sitcoms taped that way without a lot of studio audience, and you can even look at sitcoms now. Who do use canned laughter? And the laughter is when they're going up the steps or when they're combing their hair.
You'd be like, Who the fuck added This shit right? this ain't right, this ain't funny.
They're just trying to make it too funny.
What else? He wanted, that loosey feel, he wanted the old school feel. And we taped in front of a lot of studio audience. In Atlanta. Joe had never been done for a sitcom, a multi-cam, so when we got there, the people, the camera people had never did it before in Atlanta.
So it was a teaching moment for first season. Oh wow. So now they got the hook up. Everybody know what they're doing. Now we're turning away audience members.
The third season, we was turning people away. That's great, so they're loving it and it's like a party, it's like a family reunion.
People come from everywhere to come see Miss Pat's show in Atlanta.
Well, what he did, what everyone did is capture the essence of your standup and of you on podcasts. Why people love you, and to put that into a sitcom and not make it corny. Like I told you, last time I saw it, before I saw it, I was like, I was skeptical. I love you, I think you're hilarious.
The last thing I want to see is you in some mediocre version of the Miss Pat life. But they nailed it. Yeah, that's hard to do, it's very complicated because you're telling a story.
You have all these characters interacting with each other and you you got to wrap it up within a certain timeframe because of streaming. Do you do you have a specific number of minutes you have to do, or do you have more flexibility?
A little bit. They might give you 33, but no more than 35. They'd be screaming, Cut it, and Joy would be saying, No, you're going to mess up the whole part of the other show. Don't, don't cut it.
So we fight a lot about a little longer episodes, and Bet is pretty much open-minded with it. I mean, if it, if it, if we ask them, if we begged them not to cut it, because it's going to mess it up sometime. They'll let it go, but the good part about it, they'll move it over to linear, and then, you know, they'll cut a lot of stuff out. And I'd be like, Hey y'all, the show is a lot better if you just go back over to Bet Plus, yeah.
That sucks that they have to do it that way, cause that has to be 22 minutes. Is that what it is?
Yeah, and they take the monologue out, and I hated the monologue, and people love the monologue. And the monologue is kind of like when Seinfeld did a joke up front. But mine is more where I tell you how I'm feeling and what you bout to get in the show. So every episode. And I hated them cause I have to learn them, like I have to learn the strip. And sometime the day before.
But you just hate them because they're hard to do. But do you love the final product, like how it looks on the show?
I do love the final product and you know, I have a lot of control with this show, so I'm thankful for that. That's amazing, cause I've heard horror stories where you don't get a lot of control, you know. And they'll have people writing you the way that you're not.
But some foolish, too. Because of the person like you, it's so clear that you know what you're doing, like you've been doing it a long time. Just let her do it in the sense of a sitcom, just get the pieces in play.
And that's what I did. That's what I always tell him. I say, you know one thing, I know Joe as I know funny, I know me, and I know the type of funny that I'm trying to put out. And that's all. I asked him to move out the way and give me the space.
You know, I don't, I don't want to explain every joke to you. It might not be for you, right? So, you know, that's one of the reasons why I'm really glad we had bet plus two, cause we can be black as hell.
I'm not in a room with a whole bunch of white as X, who's scared to say nappy?
Are you allowed to swear? can you say basically anything you want?
We say everything, bitch hoe, motherfucker nigga, we say everything. we talk like Ms. Pat, talk for real, like families, talk for real. Now I will say this Black folks do come out and say she don't represent the Black family.
No, I don't represent you, I represent me. I'm not out here trying to recreate your family. I. What I did was put my family on TV. And if your family can relate, or if you can relate, then come on and get on this train, baby.
I couldn't relate.
You guys do an amazing job of setting it up.
Well, you know.
It's a great show, thank you.
It's it's, you know, and it's not a black show, it's a it's a show about. That relates to everybody, you know, from. I have people from all walks of life, welcome to me.
Tell me I download Bet Plus just for you.
I believe that it's a very unique show and it is.
I mean, it's, it's about your, it's a it's about the experience that I went through in life that relates to everybody. And it's the coolest thing. When I see an old white dude and a young hip black dude ain't got shit in common, but they both like Ms. Pay.
And when I go to the club and I perform, they'll both come up and say, I love your show, and that's what I know. I said, Oh, this shit ain't black, this shit for everybody, yeah.
That's beautiful. I love when old ladies come up to me in like an airport, told me they loved the podcast.
Like old ladies, I had these old ladies, they were like in their eighties, man.
You'd be surprised. I white, young white guys have a thing for me. I don't know if they want a nanny or some old black pussy. I don't know what.
Maybe both, maybe both at the same time.
They don't want my own shave on a regular boy.
I can't get it to this new ball here. Vagina shit. no, no, I ain't got time out of shit. I gotta. I gotta. uh, garage on top of my vagina. I ain't got time.
I'm pulling that shit back once a week to catch no hail.
It's crazy how the go, the pubic hair thing just vanished like these, everybody's had pubic hair. You watch the old porns. Well, for all of history, people had pubic hair.
But back in the day, it made you look like you had a fat cat.
Yeah.
You put your underwear on your thick down there, you put your underwear on it, sticking to the vagina. I'm like, man, get it to ball here, pussy.
It is weird, cause I I experienced it through high school.
Yeah.
When I was in high school, that's when Porn Fart first came out, when the when I was in high school was the first time VHS tapes came out. And so people could rent porn. And that's when the pubic hair thing changed, it changed first in porn, and it changed in everybody else.
Well, I think what the problem was is, um, black, when we have such a beautiful black Afros down there. So you couldn't get the whole vision. So some white man went down now and got well. Vagina house stuck in his throat, which I call nappy gripping. He thought the pussy was going to kill him. So it was a new rule.
You get, all pussies must be shaved.
That's just my thought, I don't know how true that is.
I did this girl in high school and she was kind of wild and uh, she was dating this guy. And uh, she broke up with the guy and her. And I hooked up. And she, she says, she goes, I'm embarrassed, I can't, I can't let you see me, I go, why she goes? He made me shave my pussy.
And I just started laughing. It was the funniest thing to me. When I was, like, 16 years old, it was hilarious that someone, uh, was ashamed that they had a shaved pussy.
I only do it when they get caught in the side of my underwear.
I've been with the same man 31 years, he didn't give a fuck if my fall off and be on my kneecap. Baby, did you cook today or have you ordered Uber eats or what show you want to watch?
That's why I don't cheat, I keep the same one I got, so I ain't got to get no new rules.
No new problems.
No new problems.
Some people love problems.
Some people do love problems, I don't like problems.
I'm not, I'm not a fan.
I just ask people to leave me the fuck alone. Yeah, let me be me. Uh, you know, people always say, Well, what do you think about the council culture? I said she, Uh, American Express been counseling me.
The rest of you, motherfuckers don't matter. They don't lower my limit. So hey, it is what it is.
Do you do you think that a show like yours could it? It's like, in this day and age, it seems so hard to put one of those things together, like, I don't know what. What used to be every night on all the major networks, it was mostly sitcoms, it was Friends and Seinfeld and I was on one news radio.
There was all these shows, wings, there was all these shows, and there's fucking none of them now, there's so few. So when I see a show like yours, come around and do it in a new way, successfully and really get you, I'm like, this can be done, this can be done.
And no comics are like trying to get sitcoms anymore, it's not, it's not like a it used to be. When I was in the nineties, when I was out here, there was pilot season and everybody was just scrambling to get a sitcom. It was like the holy grails and we were all out here for the lottery.
Like, everybody was ready, we'd come out here for pilot season, everybody would go to Hollywood.
Yes, now no.
It's gone.
Well, you don't need it anymore. You have stuff like podcasts is you can create your own stuff to, you know, with no rules that will blow you the fuck up.
But when I see someone doing something like you're doing, I go. There's still room for that funny sitcom, it can still be done, it's still a great thing to watch.
One of the things that I tell you that I ran into, uh, with building a sitcom. It's like writers, so you deal with the writers that been in Hollywood so long. And they stuck in this box, like we, I literally had, Writer said. He's never going to let you do that, and I'm like, they're going to let me do me. They hired me.
You know what the fuck he was getting when you gave me that first deposit? And I told you? I ain't get hit with no pie and ain't chasing no dick, like they say, fat girls do. I've been having six in sixth grade. Two things I told Hollywood You can never give me as much money as I can steal from you.
Now, let's make this show so a lot.
I think a lot of writers are just stuck inside the box and they just recycle the same fucking joke. If I heard it, I don't want it. If it's close to what I've heard before in the Bible Shop. On another show, I'm like, Get that shit out of here. Let's go back to the drawing board, and that's one of the things we write on the floor. A joke.
I'd be like, I heard that shit, you, I'm a comedian, you can't give me nothing. They heard. I don't heard it from the white side to the black side, to any other side.
Cause I played both sides of the ring. So you can't pull that shit off on me. And a lot of times I'm like, No, I'm not doing that. Wacky shit, hacky ass shit, we ain't doing that.
I think a lot of them lose their passion, you know? I think there's to do it so long and it becomes a job. Like they're a plumber now, or they're just, you know, hanging wall board, they're just doing a job.
And Hollywood would drain you to all those no's and you. You have people up there that are making decisions that don't know shit about, yeah, um, don't know really, don't know shit about TV. Some of them. What is that movie that came out?
Oh, a crazy ass movie with the, uh, he was like a superhero, and um, that movie, it was on the shelf a couple of years. Um, what's Ben Affleck in it?
What movie was it?
He had on a mask. It's a crazy ass movie. Ah, it was a hit, and I think they make it a third one.
Not Deadpool.
Deadpool.
Deadpool.
Hell, well, you know that, that, that.
Because I got my white guys, Mr. I'm sorry, except with the other Ryan, What's the other one? Gosling, Yeah.
I never know who the fuck so that guy who wrote that I heard he said her and know many times. And he? When somebody finally said, Yeah, it was a fucking hit, it was a fucking hit. So just think about had that guy had that hurt? the writer hurt that first?
No, he threw his shit in the trash. Can, yeah, look what he would have thrown away. So that tells you somebody didn't know what the fuck they was doing. Well, a lot of these executives.
They don't create, so they're not really artists, but yet they're in control of what gets created. And the problem with that is they start to think of themselves like artists. They start to think that they're smart and they know the system.
They buy what they like, now what the people like, well.
They just think they know what they're doing. But I feel like it's like, and certain writers, I feel like this way to, especially comedy writers. Like, if you're not doing stand-up, your sense of what is actually funny and not actually funny, it's just not that good. Sometimes they're hilarious, sometimes they're perfect, and sometimes it just misses. And I think we're. A comic would go like that one that you can't do, that one that one's not gonna fly. And but a writer would be like, I think this will work.
Yeah, and you're like, No, no, no, this is definitely not gonna work. Shit ain't funny. this is not funny to me, it's not fun. this is like it doesn't work.
It doesn't work in my head, I can't imagine this is funny. Well.
It's a lot of it and it's a lot of knowledge on you. You can't be honest. Like, you know, I went in. I thought, I think I told you this last time, the first time I had a right round like that shit way, that's just horrible.
They was like, you can't say that, like, I can't tell my fucking name, funny.
We is coming. You be like, Right, yeah, but no, I had to go to counselor and say, Can we try again? Is there a better way? They counseled you? Yes, they got me a whole person.
To say I had to say incorporate, I couldn't say, you know that, that shit, booty, it's garbage, you know, kill yourself, that's what we say.
It's good. Yeah, you have to be able to say that. that shit sucks. Yeah, you can't. you can't say that. You know, when you're in a writer room, yeah, especially like.
And I had to tell one, right, right, I said, Wait, stop fucking laughing at yourself. Only you think this shit is fun, nobody else think this shit is funny. But you. And they used to hate be cracking up, and then the person he brought wouldn't be cracking up. And I'm like, y'all literally sucking each other, dick, stop laughing.
That's that fake producer laugh when you do a run-through and they know the jokes like.
Fake laugh It's so distracting, I tell you. So when I was shooting my sitcom, I know somebody else was shooting the sitcom, so we would go watch. And this is when I learned that they hire laughers. So all of these people sitting over in the bench, me and Jordan over there, we looking around, and so the at a certain point, they all start laughing. I said, This shit don't sound right.
What a what a in sync, what a laughing like a group and so somebody on the sets, Oh, those are hard laughers. I was like, What?
Those are higher laughers. Then the producer was laughing. I said, one thing we're not gonna do. Jordan. Laughter. We're not gonna do that. If they don't laugh, then we're gonna go back and rewrite. So spending it shooting a pilot in L.A. taught me a lot. I was so glad I can.
We can move that show to Atlanta, cuz Atlanta gonna let you know. Yeah, black folk gonna let. Black boy ain't gonna fucking spend their money on no chicken and wing, and not fucking get no good laugh. They'll throw that shit at you, Black, I'm gonna let you know I ain't funny.
Man, back, white people are nice. At least you tried.
Paid laughter That's crazy. Yeah, they have, that's so confusing, very, I guess. That makes sense, though, with a lot of sitcoms, because some of them.
It just doesn't mix. I'm like, I don't understand what everyone's laughing at. It's like they just keep you just slack-jawed, just paying attention, just enough, just enough to get you through the commercial, just to keep you on. That's all they have to do. I mean, it's all they're doing is just trying to keep you there, say, advertisement.
That's what they trying to get you through to the tag, that's it. You might like the tie commercial better.
We'll sell you some prozac.
It's just they're just.
Biden time? I don't watch a lot of TV, I'm busy these days, but I do watch the black list, that's about it which which one's the blacklist.
NBC Jay Jay, what is it, James Spader?
What? Oh oh, that's that one. Yeah, that's. It's been on forever.
I like, I like him a still, too. That's a good show. the The Blacklist is a good show. Yeah, they're really.
It's a very good show, I love that I like.
Handmaid's Tales 2 on Hulu. Oh, yeah, I couldn't watch that, that bothered me. Why, I don't know.
It reminds me of the Republican Party trying to lock the Pussy Day.
I.
Say, this is what we had to, ladies, they go, they try to control our cliques.
What do you think? That's about what these little political moves, what I think, when, when I think there's always more to it. When people do things, I try to ban abortion or try to do something to incite people in one way or another. I feel like more of it is just to keep us out of each other's throats than it is anything. I think you let America vote, way more people gonna vote that women should have the right to choose.
This is my pussy.
Way more, this is my pussy.
Probably what's what's like the national? Do they have a polling like a?
Estimation of how people feel about a woman's right to choose.
Women feel like you can't tell us what to do. Joe, let me, if I want to stick firecrackers in and blow it up, you ain't got it, ain't your business. I'm not telling you not smoke your joint, so why you don't tell me what to do?
And I know that your viewers will say, Oh, it's not the fucking thing, it's my body. I've had an abortion, I've had a few, it's my choice.
You can't tell people what they can and can't do, you can't. They don't ever do anything to control y'all, dicks, Joe.
They don't tell y'all, y'all can't get circumcised, they don't do, they don't do none of that good stuff.
61 of Americans say abortion should be legal. That's kind of interesting because I thought it'd be higher.
I thought it'd be like 70, and if you don't have a womb, you shouldn't be voting.
Yeah, it's a it gets to be a religious thing, it's a very religious guy that I had on was telling me that he believes. It's at the moment of conception. So I'm saying, so, you're saying that if someone gets raped and they get pregnant and they in the the. It's conception. The moment of conception has arrived, and you give them a morning-after pill.
You think that's wrong, you think like that child should carry this rapist baby if they stop it right after, right after conception. You know, we're not talking about a nine-month-old fetus, we're talking about, like, the very moment. Nope, two wrongs.
Don't make a right like this is crazy talk. You don't ruin a child's life because they've, they've been. I mean, the whole thing is just, it's maddening, but it's one of those things where it gets to be like late-term abortions. You're like, Jesus Christ, what is that?
Yeah, that that freaks me out. Now I can't see nobody killing up somebody. A baby, six, seven, eight months, that's a damn baby.
Yeah, I know a dude in New York and his girlfriend had a late-term abortion. They were fighting over it like she wanted to have the baby and he didn't. And it was it was pretty late, she was showing. I don't know how they did it.
I don't know what the story was, but it was weird.
It was like, That's kind of killing baby. It is, it is, I mean, but so is you shooting off in a sock?
No, it's not no shooting up in the socks, just get rid of loads.
How many of those babies? Shut out your balls trying to make it and then you put in a fucking sock instead of a.
Wall I'm not really a sock guy. Well.
I hope at this age, you know, you got a wife, but hey, some days you don't want to do the hard work. I.
Know what? My husband smile, I say, Did you have fun by yourself? He's like, I didn't have to hold up your big-ass legs today.
Oh, Jesus Christ, that's hilarious. Yeah, it's, I mean, it's not. It's not a thing that you, if you make it like a national mandate like that, you can't do, or a national law that you can't do it. People are just gonna find other ways to get abortions.
They're gonna do it illegally, you're gonna create, you're gonna create criminals out of people that just want control of their body, and it's your draw. So, but the thing that drives me crazy about these issues is it seems like there's certain things like gay marriage is one of them, that's another one. It's like, almost like people want people to fight over these things because they're so. That people are so opposed to it one way or another, and they never get resolved.
That gay marriage has been bouncing around since I was a kid. I remember when I lived in San Francisco, we lived in a gay neighborhood. And who cares? Back then, it was like, and I was like, Well, hopefully they'll sort this out. This is 2023.
How would he, Jesus freaks? There's still people that say that they should stop gay marriage.
Yeah, I think people should mind their fucking business if you mind your fucking business and worry about your own relationship. This will be a better country. If you start worrying about gay people doing anything, I guarantee you gay people is having way more fun than straight people. So you stop being jealous because you're miserable, your husband dick don't work or your pick don't work.
Oh, you got to go to church every day, and you got to continue to bake pies that you don't want to bake. Mind your fucking business and we will be happy. My daughter is gay, I don't give a fuck about the old.
She'd be fucking Joe. Isn't it always men that worry about gay men?
Yeah, cuz they ended up being gay, they end up being gay. You catch them somewhere at a fucking house, picking up little boys and shit. But wait a minute, congressman, what are you just fighting to say? You can't be doing this shit? But you're in the bathroom tapping your feet in Atlanta, huh?
Yeah, how many women are out there trying to stop gay marriage?
Cuz, you know why? cuz who can bet, who can please us better? Women know what women won't.
Men know what, men won't that why they get with each other, leave people to fuck alone. I guarantee you my daughter can eat pussy better than you. JOE ROGAN Wow.
I'll have to take you on your word, she probably knows some things I don't know.
I guarantee you she do. She keeps her dick in her purse, and she do what she do. I believe it.
Yeah, so, you know, just what infuriates me is this idea that people are not supposed to be gay, like, clearly, they're just gay, no.
That they're born that way. I have a gay daughter, and I knew when my daughter was real young that she had some gay tendency. I told you this story before my mother-in-law said, This girl, you need to pray over her, she got some.
She gay and I was like, Man, you're fucking business, oh ho.
It was like, five, you gonna put that spirit on, but she told me she had a click-clicking spirit at five.
Yeah, it was a spirit and she is. You still have it to this day. And my mother-in-law was right. And I truly do believe that people are born gay and I'm 100 and people should leave. Mind your fucking beers.
They should embrace those people. Let them be be free. I'll let my girl be free doesn't make any sense to me. I just don't understand it and it infuriates me because it's just.
It's one of the stupidest things to care about someone's sexual orientation or any other aspect of them that they can't control, like leaving the fuck alone.
It's usually people who dicks don't work anymore, miserable relationship, who shit ain't going right in a life. And it's a lot of people that want people to follow rules.
They want people to follow very certain rules, and if they could attach those rules to God, then it makes them very righteous in their enforcement of those rules. And I'm the same people you'll see in Hell.
Why you, on your way to heaven, go to hell? That's what I say, get the fuck out my face. With that. People be like, Oh my God, you curse too much. I say, Well, turn the channel, bitch.
Turn the channel, cuz I'm gonna curse, I hear you. Look, I saw a lady today say you, this is a good show, but you use n-words too much. I said, Well, turn the fucking channel. You know, it's other shit out there. Don't come to my page.
When you come to my page talking to me, I tell him, Bitch, I'm not Beyonce, she don't got time for you, but I do. I'm gonna, I'm gonna get. I'm gonna spill everything wrong. Give the phone to my sister so she can correct it and put the peers in the question. Balls in the right place. Never tell your ass up.
What Joe, don't fuck with me. That was how you fat. I said. I can lose this weight, but can you lose your fucking ugly face? It's my ass from the back.
Wow, that's what I tell him. That's not wasted energy.
Some days, if I'm laying in bed, doing nothing to my titties, just rested, I cuss your ass out.
Some people get really locked into those social media comments.
You know, I used to, cuz, you know, when I first started, you want people to like what you do. Then I just took on my street. Man, tell, fuck you, you, you talking, you know, are you obesity?
Cuz I got money and I can eat, bitch, you eat lettuce, cuz, that's all you can afford to do.
Your motherfucking app apricot whatever.
Apricot eat. Motherfucker, I can cuss good Joe and I tell him, I'll tell, Leave me the fuck alone, and they don't come at me. You know what? I have such a great fan base. They're called the Miss Pat Crack Babies and we have a Facebook page on Facebook.
And and when I tell you they ride or die, Joe, they and it was a bunch of white women. They're ready to write a letter to the Congress with a miss pat, you come fucking with me, them soccer moms put down them pies and they'll tell your ass shout out to the crack babies.
You're telling me that somebody used your that crack baby form is like a scam.
Oh yeah, Joe. So I don't go in it a lot, cuz I've been busy. So my, my, my beautician, the girl who does my hair. She was like, I think you need to take a look at this, so kind of found out, one of the fans was telling the other fans.
Let's do something nice for Miss Pat. So I started this party in Atlanta called the Miss Pat Crack Baby Miss Pat's Fan Celebrations. Just to give back. Cuz I love my fan, cuz it's some ride-or-die ones. And right now I can do it, I know you can't do it, but I could do it. So I threw a party for him in Atlanta, invited 600 people down. VIP.
All you had to do was get there and I took care of you and it was a great celebration. So I invited the wrong person. And they decided to say, let's do something good for Miss Pat, let's buy a Gucci purse, let's do this. And just was taking all the fans money. I didn't even notice I when I finally noticed she was a couple thousand dollars in and I was like, you bitch.
One lady sent me some lotion, the bitch kept the lotion, Joe shouldn't even send me the lotion. So we kicked out the group and I asked her what she did with the money. I use it for myself.
Get your silly ass out my group. So I threw out. I use it for myself.
Yes, told you the truth, at least.
Yeah, she told me the truth. And then this lady, this same fan, was coming to three and four shows following me all around, calling me Mama, you know, I'm like, bitch, I'm not your mama, your dog's candy.
Oh my god.
Stalker Oh, I did I do it. I did have a stalker. That lady sounds like a stalker.
She was, but I also had another one that was a gay man that I had to tell. I'm gonna call the fucking police on you. First of all, you're a gay man. So what the fuck are we gonna do?
Play Uno. You ain't even trying to clam through my one and get none. You just I love you. Miss pay. I say I'm telling you now call my fucking phone again and I'm calling the police.
Yeah, you don't even know how you got your number. I don't know how you got my number.
But I used to wonder why everybody keep changing their phone numbers, but I'm joining that bandwagon. Yeah, then I changed my fucking number, I got five phone numbers. You do, mm-hmm.
I know Joe, cuz I be texting sometimes. It takes you six months to take special a god dang. Some phones I don't check, but you should have my real phone.
I do have your real phone. Well, I'm calling Bert crush. I don't even call him. I just call his wife, Can you tell Bert?
I said.
Yeah, birds, another one. He's gonna change his phone too. Yeah, it's just after a while, it's like I'll do a podcast and I'll pick up my phone. After is a hundred and forty-eight text messages like.
What am I gonna do with these?
What the fuck they come from, everybody.
So just so many people, so I just know so many people. It's like, you know, so many people, and it's just like you get overwhelmed. And the unfortunately, a bunch of them are, Hey, I got this guy, I'd like you to do something with him, or hey, this guy wants to do business with you, or hey, this.
What you see, Joe, you, you, you're bigger than me, so I don't have no problem. I just say, Hey, I saw you on a Rogan. Can you borrow $50??
But they don't go above 200. So I just act like, Delete, delete, delete, I can't loan money. Yeah, well, you're not loaning it.
I can't give money, I'm not. Fannie Mae Yeah, you know, I'm, I'm. I can't do it. I tell my family I don't have it.
The frustrating ones are people want you invest in their business. They have this long pitch like I don't have any time.
You know what I say, get to the fucking point, get to the fucking point now, what you want me to do. No, cuz I'm not gonna listen to all this because I'm from the streets and I already know when you're doing a lot of fucking talking.
You're about to steal something.
You gotta set them up, you first, you first. Here's the story. Then you got to make them comfortable.
Then you take their money, so I stop them right there before the car shut the fuck up and tell me what this about? I ain't interesting that move the fuck on. I'm not investing in your business. I don't give a fuck if you got the first sock, that blow up.
I don't give a fuck about your first sock that blow up, you better take your ass. A shark tank.
I don't give a fuck about your new condom, that talk, I don't care.
Yeah, they want to get the business with Miss Pat. I don't have those problems.
You're gonna. I have them on small scales, but I just keep strolling. You gotta keep strong. Yeah, I get a lot of crazy emails. And we should do this. No, we shouldn't know we should.
I tell too many jokes for this money you and see, I'm the type of person Joe, I'm a whoop your ass, you take my money. You can see me on TMZ with my wig on the ground, one titty hanging out, hitting them off I.
Can't lose no money in depth, like, it's alright, I'm gonna feel whatever I lose.
Yeah, when I see people getting scammed, it's like, so many people get scammed, like so many people. You fought their business managers stealing from and their assistants stealing from them.
You can't steal from me. I check all my accounts by myself and my checks come to me. I don't trust nobody. I don't need you to pay me, you work for me.
You need me to pay you, and if I, if I forget to pay you, forgive me, remind me. And I go back and look, I have somebody I check behind air mouth for my email. I told my husband when I one day joke a retired mother when I bought three cane Corso dogs, three, no, motherfucker huge.
Those are huge dogs. I said, Why don't fuck he? Let this man say him three cane Corso dogs? I say, Why Gary? Why any motherfucker?
They whine all the time. I think one of them got sleep, I have him, he sleep on his bed. No, don't got a ADHD.
How old are these dogs? No, they like seven months, but they like fucking the horse. Yeah, yeah, let me tell you something about those dogs.
They need to be trained. What we got, let me tell you, Joe, we got him in train.
Okay, first, I mean, they have to be like, really trained, those are, those are like real working dogs.
Yeah, my motherfucking nerves. Those are smart.
They are, those are smart, dumb as fuck. there's a smart dogs, they like to fuck people up.
It was dogs like to fuck people up. I got one that's so motherfucking crazy. They named She Buzzes and Cone, Right? and they everybody thought she was in training.
Right now, cuz she the one leads to pay, that's the one I like, cuz she ain't that be the other motherfucker. I'm in the kitchen all the day. We got him in cages, cuz I'm building a house.
He kick his motherfucking cage, though. I said, Oh no, you bout to get in handcuff, motherfucker, right?
Oh, they, too big for a cage.
But that's what I'm saying, like, you have to have control over those dogs.
Well, we got him in training, what we got one of them in training, the other one. Get ready to leave next week. The other one bit, the other one on leg, so he happened.
They so, oh my God, you know, my friend had to put one of his down, why? cuz it bit him.
Did it? Bit his hand, fucked his hand up, been growling at his family like they decide they're the boss. It's a it's a different kind of dog, because is it the they're big? That's mine right there. I mean, you can get different ones with different temperament, and you certainly can get ones that are calm, that look like my sheba.
Wasn't that the dog? didn't that what? There was a jet? Who was the actor?
The the dude who was in Pulp fiction, who played Marcellus Wally, what Bing Rames, yeah, Bing Rames have, wasn't a Carney Carcer's. That killed some dude, like some dude entered into his yard.
Yeah, I think he was like a delivery guy or something, and these Connie Corsos tore him apart. I think it was Connie Corsos, but they're, they're a very effective attack dog. No, some of the some else.
Yeah, I thought it was. Does it say that dog?
But let pitbulls will do it, any a lot of dogs wait. I mean, Maz would do it if you jumped the wrong fence.
Well, that's why I got him to keep my focus away. We put, it'll work for that.
But those dogs are that's a like, you know, it's like a serious dog.
Well, I built the dog house 600 square feet for you got a good yard. I bought ten acres. I mean, I'm sorry, about seven acres. Oh nice.
Those dogs need exercise. It's like an athlete, it's like you have, like an elite athlete that lives in your house. You got three of them now.
I have three of them, so they have to be worked out. If they don't get worked out, their balls are filled with testosterone. Well, we enjoy the kids, love them. Oh yeah, they're great, they the puppies now, though. No, they'd be Joe, I know, but they're still six months old.
Yeah, they stick their best six, seven months when they get to be like, two years old. That's a terrifying animal. Mm-hmm. That's a muscular, it's just an attack machine. I mean, that's essentially what they're bred for in a sport.
Okay, different, different masks. Oh, they were big ones to weighing 200 pounds.
Yeah, one of mine's way a hundred. This is the one who killed a delivery drive.
I didn't kill this, says the Corner, said. the bites didn't kill him, so he died from medical emergency of some kind. Probably had a fucking heart attack. God blame them, the dogs.
He got a dog. Jesus Christ. Well, I tried, you know, my husband say there was full protection, so we're gonna see. well, they're good protection dogs.
It's just that they cost a lot, they're a responsibility, like they got health care.
Really, yeah, you know, cuz I do, I do a radio show, I do a morning show with Big Tigger in Atlanta v 103.
So I like doing that, I.
Like, doing it, you know, I didn't know what to expect, you know, getting up that early in the morning, but fuck, will you stand up? No, no, no, we, it's in the contract. You're not gonna fuck with my stand-up because that's what I own. Know what I mean, getting up in the morning? No, no, no, no, no.
No, I'm an early morning person anyway, you know, no matter where I'm at in the world, I will call my husband at four o'clock. When he was working at General Motors and I had to talk to him all the way to work. So now I get on his fucking nerve, cuz he retired, but I still call him.
He don't want to say fuck off, cuz he retired and I'm out there working.
But when I'm home, we'd be like, Don't you want to go to the radio today? So I know he's trying to fucking get rid of me, but I'm having a blast at V 103 in Atlanta. You know, I'm a co-host, so it's different, it's different.
I'm just trying shit. So I've been there now almost two years.
Um, is there any problems with language like, Yeah, you can't curse?
Does that fuck with you though? No, no, only, only curse when you pay me to.
Wish you cursed. I would just wanted you to be free. That's what I worry about you on like a radio show.
Well, it's a morning show back. I mean, you know, who knows, XM might come knocking? You know, the thing that I really want to do, I, I'm a DIY type person, so I love DIY.
So that's what I really want to do. You want to do like a do-it-yourself show. Yes, I do kind of things. Houses, you know, I just building houses. I'm building a house now all by myself.
I didn't do it all by myself, but I'm the G.C. so you're a general contractor, yeah.
So I just an undertaking, that's a lot of work, right? It is a lot of organization.
And it is I. What I did is I bought seven acres and I, I wanted, I wanted a big house, but I didn't want no big mortgage. Because you don't know when this you go, you know, you don't know what gonna happen, you say the wrong thing and you can't pay your bills in two days.
So I say, well, I've got to keep my mortgage of a certain amount so I can go to Walmart. This shit don't work out. So I bought a house, I tore it down. I had a architect and it's 17,000 square feet. And I built my own little podcast studio so I can get my podcast right, and I built a 13.
Bedroom house for me and my family. Look at that. What is this like for your husband who knew you before this success? Wow for him, I.
Think it is, I think it is, cuz, you know, my husband was spent 22 years at General Motors, and for me, I was at General Motors. To it for me to quit and say, Hey, it's just something. In his comedy, Oh, fuck back, he just keep a job. And when I tell him, I tell myself, You know, in the beginning you didn't believe in me.
So you tell him the damn lie.
He said Nobody's gonna listen to fucking chicken house jokes you got.
So, but he's very supportive, he take you to home and you know, he didn't. He don't come see me a lot. But in the beginning, Joe, it was his credit card and his paycheck that allowed me to go out and make $100 a night. You know, so many times I mix out that man credit card, so many times I fucked up his credit. But it's my dream.
He should have been left my you to make that dream while you had a husband and a family and children. It's so difficult to do when you're a 21 year old kid. Just, you know, just going to open mic nights for you. To be able to do that and to chase it down and make it successful, that's a real American success story. Because it's a hard thing to do while you have a family. To just get out to the clubs every night because you've got to start at open mic nights.
You got to get that stage time, you know? It's it's sacrifice, I sacrificed a lot, it's so. Did my family, you know, one thing, my daughter, because I have custody of my niece for kids now. I've had them for 10 years and my career started to get a little bit of buzz. While I was in Indiana and my daughter was gonna go to Howard University, which is a HBCU. And. But she instead was like, I'm not gonna leave my father here with these four kids that, you know, because my niece left him.
She was on drugs, so she chose to go to Indiana State, and so sacrifices like that went all through my family. My son decided to go to college locally because he didn't want to leave my husband down with all the kids. You know, at the time, the baby was a 15 months old when the mama left, she's 9 now.
She's 10 now, so you know, I just thank my family for even being there, and my husband for putting up with bullshit. He's like, that's all you made was $50, $200, $300, shit. The plane ticket was 600..
Well, I made 400 of all dollars back. Pat, you're losing, I said, but it's something here, you just got to be patient.
Wow, when did he come around?
When did he realize what I tell you? When he realized? When? Cat Williams The first time, Cat Williams called me for to go on his tour. And he said, What this bitch might be funny.
How did Cat will you see?
We was, he was at an agency, can't remember the agency, but he's this guy called and say, I had just signed it with that agent and he was looking for a black woman. And I sent over a little clip and they picked me. I was blown away. I'm on tour with Cat William. I don't made it.
When he did the tape catapulting this right after that, all of that other stuff when he was like, at the height, so I did the next DVD called Catapulting. I don't remember what year early.
2006 Maybe seven, when he was doing The Pimp chronicles that Cat Williams. One is the He's one of the best comics ever is during that time period, especially when he was hot, when he's coming out hot. Yes, that New Year's show they do with Steve Harvey, never see that show.
He went on after Steve Harvey, shit all over him.
He does that, he mimics him, sliding across the floor and kicking him in the balls. He goes, I'm a little motherfucker, I fight dirty.
Crazy shit. It was funny, man. Oh my god. He's very funny. But like when he came out, he was so unique, like his delivery method is so unique to my dresses and.
Nobody was doing, we can't, we don't know, everybody's trying to do. Yeah, but he's a that's really him, that is really him, very intelligent, so I'm quite talk to him. I was like, God, damn this man smart.
He does a couple things that I took from him, I saw an interview from him once and one of the things that he said. He said. I'd never eat before a show because you never want to have a show with a full stomach. Why? cuz you really? It takes away resources because your body's digesting food.
You have less energy. It's just that's real. That's like, fighters, fighters don't go into the ring with a full stomach. Come on.
I'm sleepy.
Yeah, so I was like, that's smart because sometimes I'm just hungry and I eat them, but now I'm like, no, I need like a lot of time to digest food. And then. He also said he has a music playlist that he listens to before shows that it just like, gets in the mood. That's smart because a lot of times I want to hear music but I don't like.
I haven't brought anything with me. And then when I started doing shows with Chappelle, Dave always brings his music, he always brings, like a Black man, I would have music.
Big Bluetooth, he has these big JBL, Boombox, Bluetooth and these fucking. They look like cannons, it takes those. We had two of them and he would sync them up, put them on either side of the room and they they sync together.
I was like, that's the way to do it. So I took that from him too. Because like, he had an approach to, like how we prepare for a show. He's like, I'll have one drink, I'll get loosened up, I'll have this playlist I listen to. But I thought about it after listening an interview.
I'm like, I don't have like a thought process behind, like preparing for a show, and now I do. Now I have a playlist we listen to in the the Green room before the show, what you listen to, everything. I got a lot of 90s hip-hop in there, okay, I like.
I like, for some reason, like angry 90s, like cool G rap gets me going before a show. A lot of Wu tang's in there, a lot of classic rocker like Peter Frampton's in there, some AC DC in there, some country music in there, it's all mixed up. I got Liz Phair in there, some Johnny Cash in there, I listen to.
Lotto The rapper Lotto given is given. Yeah, that's what I come out to, so nice. She really gets me in the mood, and I like Carly B. Carly B always get me in the mood.
So them two is probably who I got in my ear. If I wanna be laid man, I put on a little Beyonce, but little Fantasia, but mostly Carly B and Lotto if I'm about to go on stage.
Yeah, you want something that gets you going, yeah.
And they really get you going. Yeah, they get me going, even if I'm on a treadmill.
I.
Can walk by that girl and I know who the fuck she is. Working at the radio station and got me into, like, hip-hop and listening to, you know, new artists. And I'm like, Oh, I like that shit, who is this? So I discover her working at V103 and I'm like, Okay, they like my kids, be like, Mama, that's been out. I'm like, I don't give a fuck.
I just found her this week, I like her, I'm way behind times.
I have to learn from my kids what's in, like, what's famous, what's funny, what's good.
I don't think kids know good shit, like we used to know good shit, it's a different world.
Well, one of my kids does. One of my kids is into, like, older music. she's in Nirvana right now. mmm, she gets on these kicks of, like, older music.
My daughter, Gary on isn't to everything, you know, everything going on in the world, all types of music, no matter where it came from. I was made. She know every fucking thing. If I want to know something, I'm like, Gary on, tell mama this right here.
The thing is like, most people, where are they getting their music from? are they getting it from? Like, Spotify recommends or Apple Music recommends? Cuz, like, the amount of people that are getting their music from the radio is less than probably ever before.
Probably just hip shit YouTube, probably just hip shit that comes out all the time. Every time somebody drop a album, if one thing about this Aboriginal shit, or whatever you call it, once you do one music, it's just gonna keep on flooding your thing.
Just yet today, I looked at one motivation of speech 12,000 No, I'm like, y'all, I'm not fucking depressed. can y'all stop sitting?
Rhythm Yeah, that's what I'm trying to say, just cheering you up. Oh, don't, don't commit suicide. I'm like, What the fuck is going on iPhone, stop listening to me.
I wasn't thinking of suicide. I was just looking at a motivational fucking thing and I got like 1,200 of them. Just every time I stroll is motivational motivation. You can do it. I'm like, get up.
I say, phone, leave me the fuck alone.
This should be a way that you could talk to the algorithm and go, that's enough.
It should be, but with the motivation, it was just too much. Today I'm like, Yeah, I'm going to see Joe Rogan, he better smoke weed. A good conversation.
I don't need this bullshit in my life.
The motivational things on YouTube and on Instagram, it's like, it's it's weird that there's such a market for that.
Same shit, yeah, they say the shit your mom and daddy say, but you rather go buy it on the album. It's the same shit they say at church is the same shit. School teacher trying to tell you it's just in a different voice, high voice, low voice, screaming, that she's shaking, that it's the same shit.
What I think what really works is people, and I don't think the motivational stuff works as much as people that are like motivational people. I think that's the real like. You can get a little bit out of words, you can get a little bit out of a video, or a little bit out of, like, a little clip or something. But like, what? Like David Goggins, like someone like him, like, just his, you know, is no. He's a Navy seal who's run like some insane amount of ultra marathons.
He's just known for being this like, insanely tough endurance athlete. Like he's got no knees. His knees are destroyed, cartilage is all fucked up in his knees. He still runs on him. Like the doctor looked at his knee and said, I don't understand how you can walk on this knee, forget about run thousands of miles. I guess knee was like distorting, because the bone was growing, because it was bone on bone for so long.
No cartilage, no meniscus, just pounding bone-on-bone every day, just dealing with pain. And when that fucking dude talks, you listen, and when people listen to that guy talking, he talks about overcoming you demons. When he talks about like, forcing your body to do what your mind wants it to do, like, that shit works, like that kind of motivation, like when you see a person like that. You want to go out and do something extraordinary, you want to go out in and you want to go, you got energy.
They people give you energy, muscles, a little like motivational clips. It's just noise.
Yeah, I think I think the things that people do in life, when people feel like you overcame something, they're going through. Because I get that all the time. Oh my God, you're such an inspiration. I'm like, Uh, I used to say, how?
I used to say, how, how I'm, I'm an inspiration y'all. Oh, you know, I didn't look at, I didn't. I didn't look at my life at the time. The way other people saw me, you know, there's just where I came from. I mean, it was life.
I didn't know the world was different until I got in the comedy game and everybody started to say, what you, you overcame that. I'm like, you didn't go through that shit. They're not real the world. Everybody didn't experience what I experienced, but where I was from, it was.
It was the norm. So now when I tell my story, everybody's like, Oh my God, you're such an inspiration. And at first I was like, No, I'm just somebody who went through some shit. But then I realized there's a lot of people out there that need me to tell my story. And it's healing for them to see me win because it let them know that they can win. Yes, and to see you laugh about it.
Yes, that you're so resilient, that gives people hope, so that kind of motivation works like someone can see what you've accomplished with your life. And for people don't know your story, your story is fucking crazy. I mean, it's so crazy. From from the time you were young, from like, like, what year were you pregnant? and how old were you the first time I got pregnant at 13?
I met in at 12.
He was 22, I was 12, he was married, I got pregnant at 13, gave birth at 14.
That had another baby hit 15 by then. I prayed it again at 16, and a caseworker showed me how to get an abortion and.
Think about all that, and then you combine it with selling crack, yeah, you combine it being shot, you combine it with all those prison. The idea that it would lead you to 2023 with your own sitcom, building a 17,000 square foot house on a giant plot of land, making your own podcast studio. On it, you're the one who handles all the bills.
You take care of everything, everything has to go to you. You're the boss lady. That's wild. Amazing inspiration story. Because you were in a terrible place if you think about a child like someone getting pregnant 13 years old.
Say, what chances that child have for a happy, healthy, successful life? It's very, very, very low. So for you to get through all that and to maintain your family and to have developed a successful career, this is amazing. It's an amazing, inspirational story.
That's way better than some bullshit that some fucking con man is just saying on Instagram.
Well, I mean, it is amazing, it's amazing, you know? I also had something to live for. I had two kids by the time I was 15. I didn't want him to go through what I went through.
I've said this a million times and it was the first time I ever felt like I was loved. So to have that love for my daughter, my very first child that I never experienced in a household before. You know, it gave me hope. I didn't know I was gonna end up with all of this in the future. All I wanted it, all I ever wanted Joe was a family and fuck everything else.
All I wanted was a family and I got it. Nothing else meant anything to me. The materialist is shit, the fame. All I ever wanted to do was open that door, walk in the house to people that loves me.
That's beautiful. And I do walk, I do go home, even with the kids that I'm raising, that my niece left. I get home, oh, mama is home.
Can I get you got damn hands off me?
I was like, she's bad, but I know they loves me and they love me. It's nothing fake. I, I can walk into their house, drop my wig on the floor. I don't have to be Miss Pat. Even my daughter, who hardly comes downstairs, Gary Anna, she'll look over bounds like all right mama.
You're back, love, you go back in a room. I don't see her for fucking weeks, you know, that's what I tell you.
Stay upstairs all time as you don't get. No. Man, I'm gonna take a pussy, use it come I believe it, leaking like a 64 chevy, I'm like, give me a pussy, you go.
Keep it upstairs all the time warm.
Give it to me so I can use it. The beautiful thing is, a family is what you all you wanted, and you have that. But then the other things that you're doing, I know that's for you, like your career and everything, but it's also for everyone else. Like, you're doing this. You, you, you provide happiness to so many people like that is an extended family.
My fans, extended family. And you know, it's so many times I look at my inbox. And people that I don't even know who genuinely say they're proud of me, even my kids, you know? Like when the show was nominated for an Emmy, Emmy, and my daughter writes on the show, she writes on the show. And she literally had tears on her eyes. Because she know I dropped out of school in eighth grade, she know what I've been through. And. And she told me when I was going to the Emmys, and she said, I'm so proud of you, and it wasn't even about winning.
I didn't win Ted Lasso one. what such a great show. I told my husband. That's why I couldn't fucking win on me, because you always watching Ted Lasso.
He's like, that's a good fucking show. But she, they was so proud to see, you know, something they mama had created, you know, got nominated for an Emmy, and and even the fans, you know. I remember after I didn't win, I, I didn't even feel no way, I didn't go there to win. I went there to say, they just look around and say, Oh, this, what this shit is like?
Okay, you know, it wasn't even about the way it was. I had already worn just by being there, by being alive, I've already worn with all the bullshit I've been through in life.
Can't no trophy that you stick on, no dresser to catch? Dust ever make me feel the way I feel about just surviving the shit that I've been through in life. Yeah, I call them dust collectors.
Well, I'm glad you got nominated, but those things don't mean anything. No, I'm this show is a people champ.
Emin doesn't keep this show on BT Plus, the people keep this show on B Plus. And as long as I will make it for them, as long as they'll watch it.
Yeah, being in the Emmys, or even winning an Emmy would get you a little more attention, that's okay.
I don't care about no awards. You know how many times I lost a spell and be in school.
Every time I went up, I back in, I'm 51, so back in a day there I'm, thank God.
They don't do this shit anymore, but they had a A&B group on a C&D group in the air. So the smart kids and the dumb kids. The classroom divided like that, they didn't have like special classes for people like her. And I used to see all the people in a group, Joe and I wanted to be in that a group. So bad and I never get. The book was impression and encore.
Those are the kids that could read, and, you know, just No was a smart guy. I said, I want to be in this group, I want to be in this group because that's how I am, I want to be number one. And one day I get in the clay, I get in the teacher, please, let me just try.
Let me just try. Now. I'm in a CD group, dumb as fuck, so, and I begged the teacher, she finally put me in a group. Couldn't read what shit? I look at, everybody standing me like, What the fuck are you doing?
And I remember the teacher say, at least you try, and I said, if I don't do shit, I'm gonna get in. This group. Never got in it, because, you know, back in those days, they, that's just how they divided you. But it was a teacher that came along. I've told this story hundred time is true, who taught me how to read and who believed in me. And I'm 51 and she's dead and gone. And I thank her each and every day for instilling things in me that my mother could never is still in me.
That's great if you can get a good teacher.
Good teachers that I remember, that inspired me. And you know what's so crazy with the shit going on in this world with these teachers? I just how you let these kids disrespect them and all of this bullshit going on in the school, disrespect. Look at the girl who broke the teacher leg.
Look at the teacher who just got the fight, what the fuck? Yeah, they show to me. That's your whole parents account, cuz I'm here to tell you if my child ever tried that shit. I will beat the black off Ramon.
I will be, I'm not gonna side with you up that disrespecting no adult, and that's how I used to be when I was coming up. Everybody whooped your ass in the neighborhood, now these kids like, Oh my god, you gotta respect me, bitch.
You only pay no bills. What the fuck am I respect for somebody who don't even know how to pay a bill? These kids so dumb, they don't even know how to fill out a check. Joe, they don't even have checks, no more for you to fill out.
I think my husband got the last book of checks in this world. Yeah, they do it all electronically. Yeah, so how? Why am I respecting you and you don't pay for shit?
Huh, kids have they? There's a different feeling that kids have today. No, it's a different feeling.
Society If you being abused, what's abuse, I tell you? So here I got these custody kids and they called me to. The teacher called me and I say, Well, I'm gonna beat her ass.
So the person, you gotta hear it on my house it, but you don't tell me what I hear there. Two hours later, Defect was at my house. Really. Went to the school, talked to my kids and the lady showed up and she was like, she the Black lady knew I was. She said. What I got to investigate? I said, No, you ain't got to do a motherfucking thing.
You can't get the motherfucking children that don't nobody give me nothing for. I'm gonna whoop these motherfucking ass over here. If you don't want their ass whoop, get them up out here. Cuz I'm gonna tell you right now, ain't nobody shooting me, ain't nobody whooping my motherfucking ass, fuck that put you in the corner.
We gonna pray about your behavior, I'm gonna knock your goddamn head off.
I'm old school and I don't give a fuck what you say, ain't nobody. I have a I have a 36 year old daughter, I have a 35 year old son, a 24 year and a 20. You're not cursing in front of me.
You're not disrespecting me, we're not getting high together. I'm not your motherfucking friend because I went to. I went through too much in my life to be letting you motherfuckers talk to me they I was telling my daughter.
She said, Ass, I said, bitch, don't say ass in front of me, don't say that shit in front of me. Why mama ass is cussing? she can't cuss it all in front of you? No, I don't play that shit really.
No, I cussed, as much as you cuss. yeah, they can cuss among themselves.
So you can cuss in front of them, yeah, but they can't cuss in front of you, no, Joe.
Hell, no black kid.
At a certain age, because hell, no, never, never, never, no.
And when they do five years old, I don't give a fuck. If she's 55 and I'm 99. Bitch, I'll bust you in your mouth. Don't you cuss in front of me? Home? All my mother food, you don't, ain't all the diapers? I don't say out of time, I ran out of fucking does.
A convenience store was similar to feed your black ass and you gonna disrespect me.
That I would have never imagined that you would be so uptight with your kids cussing.
Most back in the day, Black kids didn't cuss in front of their parents, but you cuss so much, I do.
You have a dictatorship running in your house, you have a language dictatorship. I shall do.
Fucking cuss in front of me, it's so disrespectful. What are you laughing at?
It's hilarious just seeing you swearing about them, swearing what? I beat shit out them. Keys say that in front of them. don't say shit for me, I'll beat the shit out of you.
Me, Do your kids cuss in front of you? Yeah, oh fuck, no.
Yeah, they know I'll shit. No, no, no wild shit around me. No, no, I will pop you in your fucking mouth. My son's about you. How we try to fight a nigga, I shall.
Why don't you say that my son got keys?
Wow, and he can't cuss funny, no?
We be texting. Sometimes I'd be like, Fuck, I said, Erase it, bitch.
It's so funny to me that you are so strict about cursing, no disrespect for the person in front of your parents, you curse constantly.
It's killing me because I see it happening. I'm like, envisioning it in your house, I'm envisioning you coming.
They don't curse, they don't believe you, and they were like, I'm grown.
I said, Well, bitch, get out my house. Have you done an episode about this on the show? No, oh my God, you have to you fucking.
Have to, you have to. Oh, you gotta do an episode, okay, Jordan, we got a new episode, please.
This would be so fucking hilarious.
But, you know, Black kids didn't do that back in the day. Like, you can go my night when my son used to hang out with in Indiana, where he little white friend. And they cuss out they parent, you try that shit, I'm a bus, you your motherfucking throat.
I tell my son, you got it twisted wrong household boo-boo, I fight back, I fight back. You better not say you don't forget you black, your mama is hood as fuck.
Don't come home. He's like, I'm having a bad fucking day, fucking anybody fucking here but me, and you can't say the word I beat your fucking.
About this, because those are the craziest rule and they get so mad. We're grown. I don't give a fuck, you can say that to them, So my fuck, you say that.
I say it all the time.
Yeah, so my son's my weed, right? And, uh, it was very hard for me, cuz he's first child I ever had to be a drug. And so I told you this one time, So why the fuck you smoking? we say, cuz it says I've been watching Joe Rogan, I smoke weed.
He lost all this fucking weight, so I couldn't say shit. He will for 400 pounds, so like, I think he like 210. He looks fucking good, but he got a weed.
Got to take the good with the bad.
Yeah, I just say, so, I don't do no pills. Yeah, well, I don't think weed is bad for you, I just think it's bad for some people.
I don't think he don't get in trouble, he's a good kid, I just don't want him. I don't want no smoking cigarettes, I don't want them drinking in front of me, right?
I get it, you know, I don't party with him, and my son smoke weed, he likes to fucking drink, and I'm like, Jumbo, your mom and daddy in here. He, like Pop, said, I could drink a beer with him. I said, don't drink a beer with him. It's so disrespectful.
How old is he now?
23.
You run the house with an iron fist.
You know, I'd be like, take your ass out, dog with that shit. He borrow your car. Every car he got smell like weed. I don't accepted the weed, but no, you can't curse in front of me.
Look, if he's taking care of his health, he is and lost all that way, that's hard to do, yeah.
I've been fighting cheeseburger like a motherfucking UFC fight.
The older you get is just like, I'm trying now, but either you got, I can't put it in my mind that I'm on a diet.
I'm just like, No, I don't need that, why don't you? Just you have, you have resources.
Why don't you have, like, somebody like meal prep for you, they could make you delicious food that only has like.
Get a guy.
I'm doing some stuff now, my husband just lost a lot of weight. He went on it, Oh, zip it, oh yeah, yeah, and this is before everybody found out about it and they just gave it to him.
Cuz he he gave that beat, he lost like 60 pounds. I got on the shit and I swole up, really. It was like I got real puffy from it, so I'm like, I'm just gonna go walk.
So I just started walking. I'm like, I can't do this shit. How long did you do it for? I did it for like a month, but I didn't lose any weight. I was very disappointed when my husband didn't even know he was really paid attention to, and they just gave it to him.
What before? The price height to my husband like $70, now his prescription at the insurance is like $900, whoa, which is fucking ridiculous.
Popular, yeah, very popular. Well, all those Instagram ladies started talking about it. yeah, people found out all those celebrities were on it. Yeah, but he was there.
He was doing, he lost like 60 pounds. It makes you like, less hungry, right? That's it. Does it? Didn't? I would, I think it would mean, because I thought I took the shot. Oh, I can eat now.
But it didn't, it didn't get to my brains. I don't think the shot got to my brain.
That's the problem with food, right? Part of its pleasure, it's not just you're hungry. Yeah, yeah, but I don't know.
I'm I'm good, nothing has happened, so I don't have any medical issues, thank God, but I would like to lose a little bottom stomach.
Why don't just get like a trainer, get a trainer and meal prep guy? I don't know, I don't know. No, that could be my next birthday. Yeah, do that, cuz it'd be easy.
Y'all heard that Joe is gonna send a meal prep person and a trainer to my house? Yeah, I'll do it.
If that's what you want, I'll find someone for you. Okay, I'm in Atlanta, I'm quite sure there's a bunch of meal preppers.
Yeah, I just want something that tastes good, though you want to make. That's the thing. It's like this meal prep to give you, like a fucking chicken breast and a piece of broccoli.
I'm not gonna last, no, I'm gonna make it. I'll tell you something that I, I stopped. I don't eat to 12 to a 12 evening, I stopped at 6, and I love the kale salads at Chick-fil-a. Mm-hmm.
I don't know if they're healthy, but they're pretty fucking good, I bet they're.
You want to investigate their dressing? I guarantee you it's filled with seed oils.
Time is dry as fuck, so a lot of time at my chief lab, they forget to put the dressing on it. I'm like, what a fucking dressing, I'm just eating kale.
Chick-fil-A is a funny place. It's like, the funny thing is they close on Sunday. They Christians, I know they're not.
They're missing out on so much money just because they don't care.
God has blessed them through the week. Have you not seen them lines?
It's amazing that nobody figured out that chicken sandwiches like a big deal before chick-fil-a.
So I had a friend one time that well, I knew this guy who would take chick-fil-a chicken to the store. So he would always stop by my house and give me a couple cases. And they're in they, they pre-wrapped in this marinating sauce. Oh, that was the best stolen chicken we ever had.
He's to give us like four or five boxes, cuz he delivered that chicken he ain't gonna fuck.
Chick-fil-a is weird, too, because they they've got some very.
Really, views on gay people too, yeah, but all Christians do, you know? My daddy was, uh, my daddy was, uh, very religious, religious, and uh, my daughter bar is called one time. And uh, my daddy didn't know she was gay, but she was sure what. He LeBron James looking chicks.
My daddy called me alone, My daughter is calling this is my favorite story about my daddy recipe, he said. Pat, I said what daddy said. Oh no, if you notice, I said what Daddy said, but I think your daughter is a bull.
Goddamn Daigo.
He don't figured you out, bitch, he said, You a bull, goddamn Daigo. We laugh for about two hours. Because the way he said it, nobody says like that, and it's a word you shouldn't even say that, according to my daughter. But that was the funniest shit I can remember about my daddy say, Well, he discovered my daughter was gay.
She keep bringing these big bitches around. You look like they used to play ball.
Yeah, that's what he's, he's, uh, we gotta pray for, I said, When we pray for day, we gotta pray that shit out of not me. I'm not wasting my time, that spirit is strong, and I'm trying to get to heaven. You can't pray nobody out of eating pussy.
I said, Daddy, you did it, she's just doing it with titties.
Yeah, good point, yeah. So I'm not fucking her sexuality. Yeah, you can't, he's just gonna make someone hate you.
Yeah, so she's happy song, but it was. It was interesting saying, my Christian daddy.
Accept my gay daughter. A lot of those people in the old school, they had a hard time with that, they did, especially religious folks.
My mother-in-law was like that, even the one who told me she was gay. But that's just life. Who gives a fuck, you know? No, people are lonely when you worried about other people be, it's like I said earlier, you just lonely, Joe.
I have no time to be worried about what's going on with people. Yeah, I got my own household, I'm building a house, I'm doing TV, you know, I got an overall deal with FILE Car, I'm trying to create some shit.
Beautiful. I'm trying to positive attitude. You're right, though, about people that are too concerned about other people. It's just it's wasted energy, they, you know, people wasting your life, you know?
You know, the biggest thing that I hope that don't happen and I only want to really get into it. DESanto Please don't fuck up Disney. Oh my god, I don't know, but they suing each other. I'm like, Can you leave Mickey Mouth alone? I hope so.
Yeah, you can't close the happiest place on earth.
They didn't close during the pandemic, they're not gonna close, I.
Did I go doing a pandemic? I went right after the pandemic with my family, we went to Universal, we went to VIP. I'm quite sure you've been VIP.
Yeah, that's the best way you can go. Oh, it's amazing, it's a fucking maze. If y'all go to Disney and don't go VIP, you you missing out. Hey, cut all the lines.
You, you going through the back door. Yeah, it ain't cutting the line, cuz they got a pass, you can cut the line. Everybody else had to wait. And I remember I heard, because all of us being in Black names like, Are they athletes? and we're like, no bitch.
Just a mama comedian.
It was the best experience my kids, we really enjoyed it. Yeah, I.
You know, when I'm, my kids were little Disneyland. We went there constantly. And when it was shut down during the pandemic, I was really worried that it wasn't gonna be able to come back. Cuz when you hear about how much money they were losing, they were losing some insane amount of money every day. And California wouldn't let him open up. It didn't make any sense.
I like the one in Florida, I don't care for the one in Cal, really.
Yeah, I want in Florida has the best ride ever, the Jurassic, the not the rest apart avatar Avatar rides we Flights of passage. Have you been on that one?
I don't get on no fucking roller coaster, it's not that it's, it's virtual reality.
Yeah, you sit on, like, looks like a motorcycle. I know you put on virtual reality headsets and you're flying through, but you're not moving.
Yeah, but my panty liner can't take that stress. No, no, my kids enjoy, I don't walk down that bitch pissy.
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