When Are You Going To Clean Up Your Financial Stupidity?

He's my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Jenna starts this hour off in Spokane, Washington. Hi Jenna, how are you?

So two years ago, today, my husband and I got married.

Well, thank you. We are both 23 years old and recently graduated from college, and we're on baby step two, trying to pay off our student loan debt. And so, with that in mind, my father-in-law and my mother-in-law have both divorced recently, and my father-in-law has remarried.

And during that divorce, he took over the Parent Plus loan that was my husband's for school. And so originally, I had a problem. Being worried about my financial future, our financial future being in his hands because we have gone non-contact with him for being kind of a toxic person to be around, and specifically related to money, he likes to try and buy people's love. And so really, my question is, how can we protect ourselves, our assets, our financial future from my toxic father-in-law? And I'm aware that the Parent Plus loan is now not legally binding to us. So it's kind of his loan now, but I'm still concerned he's going to use that as an emotional...

Okay, that's the confusing part for me, because they never really had an agreement on that.

Unless you choose to let him manipulate you, but that's your choice.

If your father-in-law is so manipulative, he wants to make that trade that. The only way you have a relationship with me is you pay this loan. Then he has chosen to destroy the relationship, but you and your husband didn't choose that.

Unless you choose just to live in the sewage that he creates instead. You can just stand back and watch this thing and be sad about it. It's kind of sad. There's young children being affected, but you didn't cause any of it.

And your husband didn't cause any of it, so it's just, you know,....

Any number of ways you said, How can he destroy you? and your answer was, any number of ways, and there is no number of ways. The number is zero.

And get sucked into the vortex of stupidity.

Yeah.

Everybody ready for the.

For the wind, here it comes.

Take out a piece of paper and begin to write them down. Who is everyone, who is all of them, what is...?

The number of things.

So you need to reduce this thing to facts. What's the truth here? The fact is that your father-in-law is a hot mess, and he's in a hot mess. And he signed a Parent Plus loan.

And that's part of his hot mess. The fact is, he's got zero power over you and your husband. Unless you grant him power with your weakness, and you call that compassion, it's not compassion, it's just weakness. There's a difference.

There's a complete difference. Compassion comes from strength. This is the Ramsey show.

Don't rely on politicians or the health care system to do what you can do for yourself. We teach personal responsibility on the Ramsey Show. And that's why I'm excited to tell you how you can take your family's health into your own hands. A medical emergency kit from the wellness company I got mine.

And I can tell you, this is not some rinky-dink first aid kit with band-aids, it comes with real prescriptions. Prepared by leading doctors to treat over 30 common illnesses, this kit can treat infections like strep throat, pneumonia, UTIS, and bronchitis. Because you have the prescriptions on hand, like a Z-pak, amoxicillin or Ivermectin. And if you start your meds faster, you get well faster. The kit gives you peace of mind.

No doctor visits, no pharmacy lines, no co-pays. Wellness company medical emergency kits help put you in control of your family's health, so go to urgentcarekit..com, slash Ramsey, answer a few online questions and get your kit rushed to your door.

Use the promo code Ramsey for a 15 discount at checkout that's urgentcarekit.com slash Ramsey promo code Ramsey.

The power of intentionality. No one accidentally wins, you don't accidentally have a great marriage. Oh, that just happened. We're just so in love.

Yeah, for about 20 minutes, and then you get to start working on it. We don't accidentally get in shape, we don't accidentally become wealthy. It's a series of intentional acts you don't accidentally become a world-class athlete.

Doesn't happen. Oh, he was just born that way. No, he's not, he's weight room, he's trained.

He's studied. You don't accidentally win, it's a series of intentional acts. The same is true with building wealth. You have to, on purpose, intentionally, tell your money what to do, give every dollar that comes into your possession an assignment intentionally. Instead of living like some kind of child who just eats candy all day and never has any meat and potatoes.

So, the best way to make the most of your money is by creating and sticking to a monthly budget. We call the world's best budgeting app everydollar because you give every dollar an assignment. You can download Everydollar for free in the App Store or Google Play. Tens of millions of people have. What are you waiting for? Everydollar in the App Store, Google Play or Everydollar.com.

Bryson's with us in Hawaii. Hi Bryson, welcome to the Ramsey show.

And I'm like, Well, I kind of get some advice from Dave about what to tell my friend.

Run, run as fast as you can, the other way, like they're shooting at you, run, yeah.

Because, you know, this is bad news. Listen, anything that sounds too good to be true is.

It's fairly easy to find all the trash that's out there, and in this case, I think most of what you find will be the trash will be true. So yeah, dissatisfied people, people that felt ripped off, people that were ripped off, and so on. You're not going to find anybody goes Change my life except in their ads.

So that's your, that's your key right there. And so a lot of, a lot of good side hustles you can do without getting involved in that kind of stuff, man.

I don't know Dave. With me and my closest friends, we have a pretty straightforward relationship. That they've got permission in my life to say, Hey, Deloney, you're about to do something real stupid. Don't do that.

And I have learned the hard way over the years that when one of my friends calls me and says that, I'm probably not seeing something the right way. And it's at least worth me taking a look. And so I think this is one of those moments, Bryson, that you call your buddy aside and say, Hey, I'm just telling you because I love you. You're about to do something really stupid. Please don't do that.

Or give me six months on the Ramsey plan, give me six months, don't do anything. But I love you enough to just try to stand in front of you and yell, Hey, bridges out, stop driving.

And at the end of the day, your friends going to do what your friends going to do.

And you need to tell them, and she would go tell them, and they would do it anyway. So you know, you need to be ready for that. He may do it anyway, you can't stop him.

And it's just kind of painful to watch people, you know, do stupid stuff, but, you know, especially painful. Benjamin is in Sacramento. Hi Benjamin, how are you?

So I'm debt-free currently. I told her that, you know, the first thing we need to do is attack this debt together. And she has right now $7,000 in her savings, and I have about $5,000. And I told her, You know, once we combine, I'll apply all of mine with yours towards the debt. Let's leave $1,000 in there as our emergency fund.

But I'm really struggling. I'm convincing her to spend that $7,000 towards the debt. She's worried that some catastrophe could happen and we're going to have no money.

You're such a husband. I do it all the time, even though I tell people not to do it, I still do it at home, though. So, yeah, don't talk about what to do until you've talked about why.

You already got the why, because you've been studying this Ramsey stuff, you just laid out the baby steps and the execution of them perfectly. You totally get it, but, you know, so you're willing to do it. Because you see, somehow, you've spent enough time with us that you see that it's going to take you where you want to go. The why is, I don't want to be broke anymore.

The why is I want to build wealth? The why is we can get to live our dreams and go on vacation wherever we want. Buy whatever car we want, and be generous. Beyond belief. That's my why. You're seeing that out in the future, so you're willing to engage in some sacrifice to get there, and you guys never talked about the why.

You just went and took her money and paid down her debt, you didn't yet. Physically, but I mean, in her mind, that's what happened, and she got emotional whiplash because she doesn't know why we're doing this.

And then we'll talk about what the implications of the steps are. For the savings that we both have and the debt that you have remaining in your name as a part of our combining this. So, back up about five steps and have a dream date, dreaming about what the future will be like again. And you go, I'm sorry, I went straight to the throat, and you're such a husband.

And don't do that guys, ladies don't do this to their husbands, they don't do it. It's such a husband thing. We see it all the time.

And then my name becomes a cuss word. This is the Ramsey show.

You know, it doesn't take a degree in statistics to realize this one stinks. 93 of undergraduate private student loans are co-signed. So when you're delinquent and drowning, mom or papa or uncle Joe is stuck in that financial stress along with you. But there is a way out. Why Refi?

Why? ReFi offers a custom refinancing option with a fixed rate loan based on your ability to pay. And the average interest rate Why Refi offers is 3.9. Which can significantly reduce your monthly payment and decrease your total cost. Contact Why Refi at 8442ramsey or go to whyrefi.com. Slash Ramsey that's 8442ramsey or the letter Y. then r-e-f-y.com slash Ramsey.

Daniel is in Richmond, Virginia. Hi Daniel, how are you?

Basically, I'm also under—.I'm basically under it as well. I'm definitely not going to be able to get out of it. What I paid for certain, and the payments are basically really, really weighing it down.

Okay, and what do you think the car is worth?

Or private sale?

What do you make?

So I've been trying to figure out the best way to kind of get past all of it. So take-home after everything, is roughly about $3,000 a month.

You should be getting home with a lot more than that on a $54,000 income. Something's wrong with your math, so you need to investigate why you're not getting home with more money and understand that. And if there's some things you can cancel there, like if you've got a bunch of rip-off insurance or something that's not your health insurance at work, then that's getting nickeled and dimed.

If you're getting a tax refund, you need to change your withholding, and I think you probably are so. Did you get a tax refund last year?

That's the answer. And so where are we going to get $8,000 or $10,000? I'm guessing you have no money saved, correct?

Yeah.

Okay, your desperation for a car, whatever created the desperation, I don't know, caused you to get screwed and get a cosigner in the process of getting screwed. Because you've got a horrible loan and you just bought a car and desperately wanted that car for some reason. So you're willing to do whatever because you're dealing with a subprime lender and they pulled in a cosigner and you probably paid too much for this car. It sounds like, on top of all that. And so, you know. And all of that was because they saw you coming and you had that stink on you of desperation or impulse, or immaturity, or something. I don't know, but something led you into a really, really bad car deal and you made all the decisions.

So that makes it that much harder to get out of this, so learn your lessons from it. The good news is you learn it at 28, you don't have to do it again, right?

And that's what I want you to do here, man. And if you just go back and analyze what you were telling yourself, you know, I was forced. No, you weren't. I was dead. No, you weren't.

You got all freaking emotional and bad and just completely signed. Anything they put in front of you because you were walking away with that car and nobody was stopping you and you drug somebody else to the table with a co-sign. So, anyway, put all that in the rearview mirror, but be sure you smoke that pipe before we're done and never do it again now, then the way to get out is we've got to go take six extra jobs.

You're going to be working all the time you're single, aren't you?

You're going to be working a lot, doing anything that will pay you good money. That is moral and ethical. I want you to go bananas for a short period of time. A couple of grand a month extra income coming in, and in three or four months have the money saved up to write a check for the difference. To sell this stupid butt car and go buy you a $5,000 car for cash and drive it until you can save up the money to be in a better car. Because you don't have a $900 payment going out.

And check and see if they put an extended warranty on this. If they did, cancel it and that'll give you a credit back towards the balance as well. Because I think they screwed you on that too, they got you with everything else, so they probably got you with that one too. And so, yeah, cancel that.

That might be a couple grand off that balance in there as well. Check your take-home pay. Something's wrong with it. We need to get home with more money, and if you find another $1,000 coming home, it'd be about right on your check.

Surely you're not paying $1,000 a month for health care? You might be.

But that wouldn't be a good benefit, actually.

There's not a hack around this, it's just straight through it. It is six jobs for six months and not going home and not going on dates, and working and working, and working, and working. And saving this money up and paying this thing off.

With so many health insurance options and so much fine print, you need to work with someone you can really trust. Health Trust Financial has partnered with Ramsey for 20 years, saving our fans money and hassles with the right coverage and great service. Health Trust Financial works for you, not the insurance company, and they're the only health insurance company Ramsey recommends. Go to healthtrustfinancial..com.

That's HealthTrustFinancial.

Com.

Dr. John Deloney Ramsey, personality, number one best-selling author, is my co-host. Today. Angela is in Roanoke, Virginia. Hi Angela, how are you?

Seriously.

It did for the last 30 years, didn't it? It did. Wouldn't it be neat if we could rent something what it was 30 years ago?

I want you to pay it off. okay, I want you to do a 15-year, and I want it paid off before you retire.

Wow, so as long as it feels like you were married, you might live that long. What does that mean? I want you to create the back half of your life.

Right, you're holding a blank piece of paper and a pen. What do you want this thing to look like?

That's what you're in the middle of. This is your encore, this is after the first bow, you come out and you do a whole other show.

Open phones at 888-825-5225.

Mark is with us. Mark is in Austin, Texas. Hey Mark, how are you?

110?.

The third one is safety, they're worried about the actual physical safety of the child in a situation. And those are generally the three reasons that someone, or some combination of those reasons that someone would be a staunch. On private school, they're convinced that private school is a better academic situation. That would be one as well. I guess that you're going to learn more there.

So which category do you all fall in? What's the concern?

Be highly intentional, but be intentional about those values and those directions, man, and be open to what comes. Because you might find out that public schools in your area are amazing and they're great. And y'all can move that money somewhere else, or you may find that you need to move early. Who knows what you're going to find? But head that way, man.

I'm just saying, and if you think everything that happens in a Catholic school has anything to do with Jesus, you're real confused.

Because it's not so, there's all kinds of stuff happens in all these schools. So what I've learned the hard way early in our children's education process was that it's actually up to us.

I know it's the teacher's job to teach them to read, but I better make sure that you're learning to read because I'm the dad. This is the Ramsey show.

Hey folks, Dave here, and I know some of you listen to the show waiting for a call that answers your specific question. Maybe you need help with budgeting or investing, or saving your emergency fund. But wouldn't it be great if you could get the answers you need right when you need them?

Well, I got great news for you because you can. When you download the Ramsey Network app, you get our advanced AI search that lets you easily find the calls that matter to you. You can also browse by topic to find answers for the exact things you need help with. That means you don't have to simply hope the next call will be the one you've been waiting for, because the Ramsey Network app lets you have control.

And with over 7,000 hours of life-changing content, the Ramsey Network app is the best place to find the answers you're listening for. To get access to personalized content for free, just search Ramsey Network in the App Store today live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions. It's the Ramsey Show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual, amazing relationships. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, number one, best-selling author and host of the Dr.

John Deloney Show on the Ramsey Network. He's my co-host. Today. We're taking your calls at 888-825-5225. Dave is with us in Cincinnati. Hi Dave.

Welcome to the Ramsey show.

And when I look at the next 25 years as I begin retirement, that comes up to a substantial amount of future fees that I'd be looking at. Probably in excess of $1.

4 million in fees, not including the time value of money. And I was wondering, how does somebody like me, who needs about $75,000 a year to pay my bills? If I wanted to become self-managed or go into some kind of a flat fee management scheme?

How does one depart from being fully managed and look at making a serious transition into becoming either semi-managed or self-managed? And is that even a wise thing to consider at this point in the game for me?

But ask them if any of them have a gradient based on scale, because at some point, you know.

You start asking the question if I'm going to buy a series of mutual funds and I'm never going to touch them, or almost never touch them. I'm not sure exactly why I'm under management at the point that I'm $5.

6 million now. If you're $560,000, you should stay there because you probably need the guidance and you probably need the other stuff. But you've proven to be an excellent investor. Someone who sticks it out doesn't jump ship. Every time there's bad news on the nightly news report, which is every night. There's a reason to get out because the world is coming to an end.

And you didn't fall for any of that, and so, you know, you stuck with it and done a great job investing, congratulations. So, yeah, I mean, I would investigate some other structures out there. I don't think you're being, and you didn't present it this way, but I'll say it out loud, I don't think you're being ripped off.

But is there a more efficient way to handle it with this much money? Possibly, yeah, maybe there's a portion of it you leave under management if you like these guys, and there's a portion you pull and say. I'm going to just put this in these six mutual funds and I'm going to forget it.

And you know, we'll look at it once a year, you know? And so the vast majority of the Smartvestor pros that we endorse and the people in the industry have moved to the 1 model under the new.

Fiduciary rules that are out. It puts them at too much risk to do it the other way. I don't have my personal under that with my SmartVestor Pro, I've just got it under. I mean, I buy their shares and they get paid and that's all, and then it sits there and so they get paid on the front and they're done.

But most of those guys have moved all of their client base into a 1. So I'm not shocked to hear you're there. But yeah, I think you're asking good questions and you're asking them with the right kind of heart. This is a good time. Where?

You're making some assessments and I'd go to the firm you're with and say, you know, based on the fact I'm over the $5 million mark. Is there not some gradient on this fee that maybe y'all forgot to apply? Hello, wink wink or talk to the Smartvestor pros and see if any of them do. I don't know if that's out there, but I know. For instance, if you're have a certain amount with a certain mutual fund, they no longer charge any fees. There's breakpoints with the mutual fund companies where there's no fees charged, no commissions charged, and so on.

And so, and you're definitely at those breakpoints. So most of it goes away at about a million dollars with them. So yeah, I think I'd ask the question.

Of your current folks, unless you're dissatisfied with them, and then there's no need to ask the question. And I'd check Smartvestor.pro at ramseysolutions..com and talk to a couple of those guys and gals and see if they have anything to offer. And maybe you do a portion of it again and you take a portion of it and self-manage, all self-manage is you're not going to screw with it, that's the trick.

The problem people have when they self-manage at the beginning of their investing lives is they jump on and off. And if you jump on and off the rollercoaster, that's who gets hurt. Ride the Dadgum ride and you'll be okay. These people, you know, and you need somebody to talk.

When you're early in the game, emotionally, you need someone to talk you off the ledge. And so it's worth every penny. And generally, they earn their 1 other ways as well, so it's not a bad plan.

That.

Fiduciary technically means that you do. If I'm a fiduciary for your money, I do what is best for you, not what's best for me. That's what fiduciary technically means, and you could be a fiduciary regardless of how you're paid. You just have to do what's right for the customer, not what's right for your own pocketbook. You know, look out for the customer first.

So a real estate agent that gets paid a commission is technically a fiduciary, but they have a conflict of interest because they're getting paid a commission. So in the investing world, the Obama administration pushed these regs through. That said that anyone who's paid a commission is not a fiduciary. So if you're paid a commission, you know 5.75 on a mutual fund, that's a straight commission on an A share, and then that's it. You never get paid again, but they manage your money for you, and that's how the old smart investor pros all ran it back in the day. But if you do that now, you're liable.

If they want to sue you for something, if you want to get rid of the liability, you put it under. If you're one of the investment brokers, you put all the customers in a 1 and you call yourself a fiduciary.

Individual investors.

Who funneled their clients into these packages that had bigger returns for them? That might not have been the best product.

Well, that was always the auspices that no one who's paid a commission can do the right thing for the customer. That's the absurdity, but that's stupid.

That's absurd. If I'm getting paid a commission, I want to continue to do right by you so I can keep your business.

We're going to make sure that they get charged more. That's really what it came down to, and that's what Dave is discovering right here. Exactly this is the Ramsey.

I've been doing this show for over 30 years and some of the saddest calls I've taken are from situations that are completely.

How am I going to eat next week?

Zander is the place that Winston and I actually get all of our life insurance.

To get a free quote, call 800-356-4282.

That's 800 356-4282 or go to zander.com.

Dr. John Deloney Ramsey Personality is my co-host. Thanks for joining us. We could use your help if you want to help us. We would appreciate it.

You can help us simply by subscribing to the show. Click Subscribe if you're a YouTube person, if you click Follow if you're on one of the other platforms, that'd be great. Thank you very much.

It makes a big difference in algorithms. We appreciate you doing that. Also, share the show if it's got a share button on the platform you're on, or just click the Cut out the link. And email it to somebody, say, Hey, listen to this, watch this, whatever.

Maybe you're listening on talk radio, thank you for that, just spread the word, tell people where you're listening, what time we're on, all that kind of stuff. Hey, it's a big deal.

It makes a lot of difference and our numbers are way, way up. So we know you guys are helping us. We know you're out there. Sharing and leaving those five-star reviews. All that stuff helps everything in these algorithms, and we appreciate it. Cesar is in Mobile, Alabama. Hi, Cesar.

Welcome to the Ramsey show.

My mortgage on that is about $1,200 per month, I have two tenants that live there, so they're paying off my mortgage. I have about $13,000 in my savings account and I have no car payment, and I'm giving about 10 of my payment into a Roth Ria.

The credit for it? And I believe that that's what I want to do with my life, just buying homes, either flipping them and renting them out. I have a home actually that is $300,000. Me and my uncle, who are splitting everything in the home is about, we're going to split everything. The down payment, like absolutely everything in the home, the house is worth about $300,000..

We're getting about 7 APR and we will be doing an FHA loan on that. The thing is that my uncle doesn't live in the state, so I would be in charge of maintaining the property. And we would go essentially half seas on the and you need.

That's why they're not letting you do that, so the bank is telling you not to do this. And you've figured out the way to beat that is to use an uncle and do it anyway, yes.

Well, Cesar, I've got just a moment with you to try to offset all of the bullcrap. You've been reading on the internet about real estate. And I don't know if I'll be able to accomplish the goal of offsetting all of that. I will tell you that when I graduated from college at 22 years old, I bought my first property. By the time I was 26, I had over $4 million worth of real estate with a million dollar net worth doing exactly what you're talking about. I had co-signers, I had banks that I had talked into loaning me money.

I was flipping houses and with no money, and you got no money, and I was buying property basically with no money. And so I was leveraging it up to my eyeballs. One of the banks got scared and got sold to another bank. And they looked down and said, there's a kid in his 20s that owes us over a million dollars. And they called the notes on the flips that I was doing, they were 90-day notes, and they called the flip notes. It was a million two. I had 90 days to come up with a million two.

I spent the next two and a half years of my life losing everything I owned, getting sued, getting foreclosed on. And finally, with a brand new baby, a toddler and a marriage. Hanging on by a thread, I was bankrupt. That's my story.

That guy that did that now owns me several hundred million dollars worth of real estate. I recovered in my 30s and 40s and 50s. I'm sitting in one building that's worth over $600 million right now, and it's debt-free, just to give you an idea that this can be done. But I never borrowed money again, and I never took on another cosigner because those two things caused me tremendous trouble. Everybody that I knew that did the type of real estate deals that you're doing. All of my friends in that business were broke, too.

The only ones that survived were the ones that got out of debt.

And you, sir, are walking straight into a razor and I'm going to beg you not to buy this house. I want you to own real estate and I want you to be good at it later. I want you to take your time and pay cash for the next little property you buy. And I think between now and 30 years old, you're probably going to have several properties that you can pay cash for. Without your uncle and without 7 APR. And just because you can manage three roommates doesn't mean you know how to manage tenants. Yet that's a bit of a leap.

They're a little different and I've managed tenants for 40 years, believe me, I know. And the idea that the tenant is paying for your house is internet crap, because you're paying for your house and you've got some tenants. You will find out that the tenant is not paying for your house. When one of them doesn't pay, that's when you'll discover that real estate is not passive at all.

It's very active, so I love real estate. I own a bunch of it. I'd love for you to own a bunch of it, but I'd also love for you to avoid a nightmare. And I don't know if there's any chance that I talked you out of it because you were completely in it. Almost sounds like you've already done the deal and then call me back to bless it, and I'm not going to.

If you did that deal, I wish you didn't. Because you set yourself up for problems, you set your uncle up for problems, you set up relationships for problems. You're living on the edge and you don't even know it, you don't even feel it.

You've not assessed the risk that you're under correctly, you've taken on way more risk than your heart is grasping, or you're about to. Please don't just take your time. Every time I read the book The Tortoise and the Hare, the tortoise wins.

So be the tortoise. That's about all I got, John.

You mentioned this at the very end there. This is a surefire way to implode family relationships as well.

The uncle's brother, his dad's going to call and say, you need to do this, grandmother's going to call, mom's going to call. Now you're not going to be able to go to Thanksgiving.

You're not going to be able to go to Christmas. Everyone always enters into these things only considering the upside, nobody understands the risk profile. Spend your life studying risk.

That's where the fulcrum always has to equilibriate. I used to say it wrong. There's always another side of the fulcrum. Let me say it that way. Nobody takes that into consideration when you get starry-eyed.

I'm an expert on my opinion, I love you, so I'm going to tell you the truth. This is the Ramsey show.

Dr. John Deloney Ramsey Personality is my co-host today. Thank you for joining us America. we're glad you're here. Buffalo, New York, is next.

Hicks is on the line. Hi Hicks, how are you?

I had to take a cut in pay.

I owe $90,000 on a $240,000 house. It'll be paid off in seven years. I own my car, I own my truck. The question is this.

I'm having some health issues, I'm thinking about moving, my wife's been helping me now.

She's pregnant, she needs help.

I'm thinking about sending her out to her relatives in another state, I'm saying, if she goes out there, who's going to help me? I'm thinking about relocating, selling the house. I'm trying to decide, should I keep the house, wait for her to get back in three to four months, sell the house, go out there. I'm kind of stuck here because I'm trying to get help.

You have a baby on the way.

Okay.

What's the nature of your health problem, sir?

I don't think if you want to do something affordable. And your income was just cut and your health is failing, and you have a brand new baby on the way. Probably the California real estate market is not going to be friendly to you, my friend.

They say it's rare and they don't see it that much, and they're doing all these different things to try to help me.

That's why I'm at Dave.

Your mind's going to be blown what it'll take to buy a house like you've got right now there. It's just not transferable. I think the help you would gain is going to be far offset by the increased cost and I don't think it's going to be worth it. If you have a different location with some family, that is an affordable location, maybe the move makes sense. But I think you guys have got to continue to talk through where you want to be, that you can afford to live and prosper.

With the current situation, you find yourself in a new baby, a 37-year-old wife that's working. You've got a muscular disorder of some kind.

Where do I want to be living in that situation for this next chapter of my life that I can afford? I think if you make a visit out to the California market that you're talking about, I think you're going to discover quickly that that's not affordable to you. With what you're describing to me, I might be wrong, there may be something I don't know.

You could go look at it, it doesn't cost that much to go look.

I'm going to have a plan B. If we don't go there, what are we going to do then? Under that situation? I'll go look, but don't tell me you were forced to move to an area you can't afford because you're not forced.

You've just got to make some different choices there in Buffalo. Man. I'm sorry I wish I had a magic wand that could make all this go away, and I don't. There's not a good answer to that bad situation, folks, there's just some answers.

We can just kind of walk with you and think with you while you're facing these things. There's not a.

Simple thing you just go do that, there's not, there's a lot going on here.

All we can do is just sit here and be a sounding board with you and bounce those ideas back at you and see if they sound crazy when they come back at you across the net.

Well, man, now people are wondering, Well, who's on this text thread? how many people?

I'm just going to wait and then nobody responds. It's different when you say, Hey, Dave, I've been really struggling. Is there a chance that you and I can get together? Tomorrow at 10 o'clock? I'm going to get coffee I'm buying.

I'd love it if you met me there. That's a specific request that I want to meet with you, I want to talk to you. People are much more likely to respond to that and to respond affirmatively. Like, I'll be there or I can't make that one, but I can do this date at noon.

Instead of just throwing these vague grenade balloons that just kind of loft out over, be specific and risk some people saying, I can't show up for you.

People will say, yes or no, yes or no, that's right. By the way, you've got to be okay with their no if they're busy.

That's okay, but you're more likely to get it. I can't do that, but I can get Cousin Judy.

Very specific in the thing. Because when I hear I've got a friend in the hospital, right? This second, I'm talking to her husband. Back and forth, I'm like, Okay, what can we do to help? how can we help you? how can we serve you?

Can we make you dinner? Can we come over? No, okay, I start having to suggest.

Of course, that's okay, I don't mind that, I'm not complaining, that's a close friend, if it's.

Tomorrow night's not a good day, but I'm going to be specific, that's exactly what.

This is the Ramsey show.

Thanks for joining us, America, we're glad you're here. Open phones at 888 825-5225. Patrick's in Fort Worth. Hi Patrick.

How are you?

I've had a friend of mine.

Offer to give me a loan to do this. But I've been listening to you since I was 12 years old. I lost everything last year in a divorce, literally everything. I'm wanting to go back up. But I don't want to give up. My entire percentage of my company in getting with a traditional investor, and I really don't have access to traditional investors. I'm just kind of curious.

It's kind of hard to crowdfund with a patent pending. Also, I'm just kind of curious what you might have on that.

Why do you have to have a patent for a phone app?