#1966 - Big Jay Oakerson & Ari Shaffir
2023-04-05 03:22:03
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
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And we're out, yeah, the NXIVM cult is the one that I still haven't watched, that documentary, why I've been watching this doc? I've got a bit about the place that I used, that I bought before I bought the mothership, yeah.
Because it's about a place that was owned by a cult, so I've been watching the documentary on the cult. It's called Holy Hell. It's so fucking crazy. I've been watching it, I've watched it three or four times to try to, like, find the angles for the bit. Yeah, because the guy who ran it was a gay porn star who was also a hypnotist.
It's such a powerful combination.
All he wore was speedos and eyeliner. And this dude ran this cult for 20 fucking years. And they kicked him out and sent him to Hawaii, and now he's running it in Hawaii. At the end of the documentary, the guy goes to visit the guy in Hawaii. Now he's old and fucked up looking, he's had a bunch of plastic surgery, like fake cheeks, and his lips are done and everything. He looks like a monster. And he's still got these people following around and open the doors for him, and he sits down and he talks like a guru.
Complete con artist Did they show you his porns?
Oh yeah.
How was it?
Oh yeah, they just block out where the dick is going in the ass. He's pounding this guy from behind and then he's doing like a push-up, he's doing like a plank. And this guy is underneath him. And he's holding on to the guys. The guy's holding on to his hips and he's just mouth-fucking this guy nice, while his legs are completely suspended in the air.
Oh, he's just okay doing workouts.
Yeah, he's basically doing a workout, so he's got like in a push-up position like this. And his leg is. Both of his legs are up there like that, pointed, and he's going like this, just humping this guy's mouth. I mean, this is something that the cult members had found out while he was, you know, that's him, but see, when he got older, he started looking creepy.
You've got to realize this guy started this cult in 1981.
He was an extra in Rosemary's baby.
Really.
Yeah, that was like his claim to fame, he was just a bad actor.
He's got some young bucks with him.
Oh, he had all young bucks and young beautiful women, too, like that's how he attracted the heterosexual men. He had a bunch of young, beautiful women. But he told them never to have relationships together, and then he fucked all the guys.
The move with the NXIVM guy did, because it's you can get a really good cult going, but you're everyone's not going to get the well. Even Charles Manson. They always made it out to these young, pretty hippie girls. When you see the pictures, they're all pretty rough, the Mansons, yeah, and then the NXIVM cult, it's the same thing. It's like they tell you all the people that were involved and like, except for like one girl, like most of them, were pretty like, homely. So you're like, Yeah, I guess if you're, if your cult leader status is to bang a bunch of, like, they're okays.
Well, this is like headshots after they've left the cult and realized it was over.
That girl's the actress, she's the actress.
The bottom left one.
Yeah, she's the prettiest.
I recognize her, but she's like, Secretary.
Yes, she was. Yes, exactly. I think she got out of fucking him because she would recruit the girls and brand them and stuff.
That girl's pretty.
That's What's-her-ma-cult's daughter who she got involved, too.
She's not bad.
Oh, she's an actress, she was an actress in, like those old, like falcon crest-type shows.
Falcon Crest Oh my god, could you imagine being trapped on one of those shows where you've got to get a paycheck every week and the paycheck is wonderful?
Oh, Dynasty.
You're probably making like $100,000 a week.
So it's like, So you're not going to leave?
You're not going to leave.
But you're stuck.
And you're like, this sucks. I didn't get into acting to do this.
But is it a good career? If you're like, take Lorenzo Lamas, the guy is like, you know, small parts in grease and stuff, then he's on Falcon Crest as a heartthrob for a while. Which is, I think networked, that's a big network.
Then he's renegade for years, probably his most successful thing. Yeah, that was like a syndicated show.
Yeah, that was a syndicated show, beautiful man.
Oh, he was gorgeous in his day.
Beautiful man.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, what does he look like now?
That's him up there.
Not bad, not bad.
Still slinging dicks.
63.
But major, like White drama.
Engaged to a younger woman who goes by nerdy blonde, okay?
Oh, that's new. He already had, like a big girl, like a lady, leave him, that he was with for a while, he was with a playboy girl or something.
Oh, yeah, yeah, I remember seeing that like she had a ton of plastic surgery and shit, right, yeah. Lorenzo Lamas.
Do you think he ever like if he looked back at himself at 16, 17, 18, whatever, when he's looking forward? If he's like, that's my career, do you think he'd be happy with that? Or go, Nah, I want something legit.
It would really depend on how smart he is. I've never heard him talk.
Or what he did with his money, I guess.
Right? But also like, how smart is he? Like, are you stimulated there? are you just happy to get attention?
I bet he's just happy to get attention. Maybe, yeah.
Yeah, I think he was more pretty than brilliant.
Yeah.
Maybe.
But, you know, saying with the NXIVM guy and like the intelligence of them, it's weird, like coffee. Because the different states in life, like that guy, made himself like very wealthy in that cult, the NXIVM guy.
Oh, he made himself wealthy by.
Sure, yeah, because it's a ponzi scheme. On top of the sex thing, it was most. First of all, it was a money thing. First and foremost, it was.
Sex was bonus.
It was one of those schemes to do like, you know, they'd be like, put a like, get five more people to join.
Oh, pyramid scheme.
Pyramid scheme, for sure. And then, once they were in and believed their life was getting better from that. He'd be like, Hey, girls, there's a little side project I got going on. Called like, you know, fuck me when I tell you to, Oh, interesting and.
But weren't they like getting branded or something?
Yeah, no, that's what I'm saying. It gets greedy. Those things always go down because you.
The guy has too much power and he keeps going.
Over well.
It's not enough to just be like, Hey, I'm fucking three chicks.
Dude, it's Negan, this is great, it's Negan and the Walking dead. Yep, you can fuck three chicks and still you want to bang the guy who worships you.
His wife You want to see if you can get his wife too, and it's crazy, yeah.
And they always wind up doing it, too.
They get it because the guy has to comply, they don't know what to do.
Like David Koresh, like he had a deal where he could fuck everyone's wife.
The people that get out of it, like sitting there and like, just seeing a guy, I don't know how they stay together. Like a guy and his wife sitting on a couch, while the guy is hysterically crying, like, I can't believe I sat in that room and waited for him to fuck you while I, you know.
I can believe it.
Did they stay together?
Yeah, yeah, I can believe it's just tough. There's guys like that out there.
They're like, the girl can do anything she can. Shit in his face, No, but they're like, Oh, don't do that, I don't do that to you. There's certain people.
And they have to complain about it the whole time.
Yeah, there's always been humans like that. There's like a spectrum of humans. There's always been humans that you could just kind of like, push around, do anything to, yeah.
Well, the other one I just watched, I said, because this guy had no status in life, it was an older guy who moved into his like his. I think it was his daughter. His daughter would always talk about how great her dad was and he was super involved in like, Seal team shit. And with Gorbachev and all these like past political dealings. But he's in jail now because the government railroaded him.
This is what you would tell all of her dorm mates, or, you know, housemates in college. But he rules, he's the best. He comes out of jail, and she's like, Can he come live here with us for a while?
And then, over the course of the next few years, like, he just turns his daughter's house of friends into a sex cult with each other. It's wild.
Yeah, I heard about that one, too.
Wow.
Yeah, well, there's a lot of con men out there.
Also, once you get a few people.
What we were talking about before the podcast, Yeah, there's a lot of con men out there and con women, there's a lot of con artists.
Do they con themselves or do they think some part of them is doing a good thing? No, do you think the NXIVM guy is like, I am teaching them like life skills and building them up, yeah?
I bet they lie to themselves, I bet they say, yeah.
There's a little bit of that in there, like with this guy, what's fascinating about this Holy hell thing? In the beginning, the cult was amazing, like it, just as it got older, the guy started fucking everybody, started fucking all the men.
That's one of the things that he did as he got older, like heterosexual men started fucking them and hypnotizing them. And then, on top of that, he started telling people to get plastic surgery so he could see what it looked like like. He wanted to get like his cheeks done, so he had his followers get the cheeks done.
What happened with him is he was beautiful when he was young. Yeah, that's the guy who made the documentary, that's Will Allen, he's the guy who made it.
Also pretty, but if he got you also, all the people were good looking. The picture of him like up there, with his arms up in the air and everyone's got their hands up. That's him older, but still like, ripped, fucking ripped and jacked.
But when he was young, in the beginning of the documentary, he was a beautiful man, perfect features and this amazing body. And he was a ballet dancer. And he put on this fake accent.
What accent?
Like, he was a guru, like, I am here to tell you you are just life, life is beautiful, you know, that kind of shit? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, I'm sure the guy, I mean, he's a fucking actor.
Right, do you think right away? He knows I can never get you get out, you're not gonna be a part of my cult.
100%.
He just gets the weakest people.
If you stumbled in there, first of all, yeah.
Oh, they'd take me.
He'd be like, You're not our type, no?
You gotta be good looking.
I'll prove it, you're not that good looking. I love you Jack Studio 54. You're not the best looking guy.
That's a good point, that's a good point on Gay Island, I would have trouble there.
Yeah, there would be a problem, yeah, and then guys like you or I or any of us, we'd be like, What are you doing? Wait a minute.
Yeah.
Come on, what's going on there? How do you guys make money? who's making money?
Where's the money going?
Yeah, you have a question early on.
Their talent is finding people who are lost and don't ask questions, exactly.
Who are like, I'm sure it's the same in Europe.
Just the idea of, like, anytime you hear those things like, where's the point where you have to go? Hey, wait, wait, wait, yeah, wait, I don't. That doesn't make sense to me.
They all come from yoga classes.
Mm-hmm, that guy.
I mean, all his guys, his people. He would teach yoga classes in L.A.
And that's how I'd find them.
And then, you know, if you go to yoga, I mean, there's a lot of people in yoga. There's a spectrum, but there's a certain percentage of guaranteed lost people in yoga classes.
I feel like Crossfit had that too, like how much they, and another thing, that's why jiu-jitsu, too. It wasn't like buying into the, they said before I took Crossfit. They were like, you know, some people, Ah, it's cultish dude, it's weird.
And I go, I don't even know what that means. I walk in and I do the thing that's on the board that says to do at the time. I can do it and then I go home. But I then did realize after being there for like a year, I'm like, these guys are having barbecues every weekend.
Oh yeah, they really do. They start hanging and then people, the owner of the CrossFit gym, like there was two guys who owned it, both married guys, I think both of them started fucking girls in the class.
At least one of them did, for sure, and the family broke up. And he was very publicly with this much younger girl from class as well.
There's going to be a segment of the class that wants the approval of a teacher. Oh yeah, like, real bad.
This guy they would call him the teacher, Wow, he had all these different. Well, here's the thing. His name was Jaime Gomez, so he had to change it right away.
You can't fly with that. Jaime Gomez fixes Toyotas. Jaime Gomez is on the Canelo Alvarez undercarriage.
He doesn't bring you the answers from the universe.
That's him when he was already older and looking creepy. If you go to like, go to his name. Jaime Gomez, Rosemary's baby. I don't think he called him, I think he called himself Michelle back then.
He changed his name three times, four times. Okay, so he changes his name one, that's him right there. Oh yeah, like, look at that.
Oh yeah, which beautiful man, the one with the white. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's him in Rosemary's Baby.
Yeah, so, you know, so hypnotic, right? Just something about people with beautiful features, they can talk more people and things right. perfect skin, right?
So this guy is ripped, he's walking around in a speedo and he's saying all these things that in the beginning, make everybody happy. And he does this thing. Where he puts them in a meditative state. And he touches their forehead, and he tells them that when he touches their forehead, they're going to experience orgasms and feel the universe.
And these people have, they're legitimately tripping balls. Because it's the power of suggestion and hypnotism. So he's hypnotizing these people and then he's putting, like, in the beginning of the cult. It's amazing, like no one seems to have a problem in the beginning. That's the thing about these things.
When you watch the beginning of Wild, wild country, same shit, the beginning looks amazing.
Yeah, it did.
I want to join.
That's my friend Todd. Todd said that to me. He goes, Dude, I want to shut her off. After episode one, I'm about to go find them.
That's great, let's get out there.
He's like, I want to go find them, I want to join. It looks like they're having a good time because most people live these fucking miserable lives doing a job they don't like to do. And if someone will tell you like, you've got a community.
We eat together, we pray together, they all meditate together, they all splash around the water. It looks like they're having a great fucking time.
Yeah.
But as the guy gets older, he gets creepier, and the cult awareness network goes after him. So he has to leave L..A. in the middle of the night and he moves to Texas.
And so he sets up shop in Texas.
How are they not going to find him in Texas?
Change his name again. This is the 90s.
Pre-internet society.
Pre-internet 90s, bro, this is the 90s, right? Starts the cult in like 81. So in the early 90s. There's these weirdos splashing around in Barton Springs, holding hands with this guy who wears speedos and an eyeliner.
Like, what the fuck?
And that's where they got him.
So he changes his name from Michelle to Andreas, and so Andreas. Now he's getting older, he starts getting weird, and one of those things he starts doing is fucking with his face. He starts like shoving cheek things in and pulling things back and lips, he looks fucking weird.
And he just he's hanging on to like his good looks, and it throws them off because it doesn't fly with his message. Your body is a vessel, your body is just a vessel.
I know you're getting cut up.
You are God, we are all God, you know? It's like, but now all of a sudden he's like, getting facial surgery and they're like, huh? And so then a guy leaves.
He was more gay than leader, that one out of the three. He was like, Well, I gotta get the face fixed.
More gay than guru?
He had to get the face done.
Yeah, it's a fascinating documentary, man.
I love all those things.
I love when you watch one of these things, that one, the dude who fucked the whole family in Utah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that was great, but you're watching.
You're just like, How do I not know about this?
Dude, I think there's certain people that I mean, I think this is why cults work, I think this is why some people become religious zealots and suicide bombers. There's certain people that are just fucking really gullible, man, you can get them.
Well, not one of them, ever. Most of them, when they're interviewed afterwards, when they're out, they always say that same line of like. I know what cults were. And in fact, when they would explain to people what was going on, they'd be like, I know what you're thinking. This isn't a cult, it's just a bunch of people living together, dressing the same, doing whatever.
They talk about it in the documentary, they explain a cult, while they keep telling you like, No, it's not that we just all eat out of the same tray, we don't eat proteins.
In the documentary, they were saying, well, they were choking around that. Everybody thinks it's a cult, and they're like, Well, if we're in a cult, at least we're in a good one.
And it was for a long time, until one guy leaves the cult and sends out a mass e-mail. It's like, Hey man, this guy's been hypnotizing me and fucking me for the past ten years.
He found out he was being hypnotized.
Oh, I mean, he's doing hypnotherapy on them, he's putting them in states.
Remember, in Boston, the hypnotist Frank Santos Yeah. And we saw a door guy pass out. He tried to do the whole room and a door guy off to the left was just gone. And somebody pointed it out to him. That guy would be, that door guy would be like a candidate.
Yes, yeah, well, when we used to do stitches. When Greg Fitzsimmons and I were coming up in Boston, Frank Santos was the fucking man. And we would all go watch. Because it was a comedy hypnotism show, it was fun and he would put people under.
And some people he couldn't put under, some people he. Just because you're doing it, it's not like you could get hypnotized if you wanted to in a relaxed setting. I had it done once. It's very interesting.
And you, yeah.
My friend Vinnie Shoreman. He hypnotizes fighters and he gets to, like, get to the root of like, whatever their conflict in their mind is, and try to sort things out, make them perform better.
It's not what you're thinking, That's why I always don't believe in it, because it's not what I'm. They're not like, you know, when your eyes are open, like, walk that way.
Maybe not you. Here's my concern, maybe some people you can do that to. This is what I think. I think what I experienced was like a different state of mind.
It seemed like I'm like, Wow, this is like a drug, like I'm on a drug. I mean, this is very strange, but it was very pleasant, and it was very, it was very. I was present and pleasant. It was like I was right there and I was like looking at things from a different angle.
It's almost like I had removed some layers of clothing. That was like my conditioning. In life, I got to look at things like this is very much like a psychedelic drug.
Someone described to me once where I heard, Actually, I think it was on. Howard Stern, also a hypnotist, that came on That Does their thing, said This is essentially in a level, hypnotizing. They're listening to this while driving in a car, it lulls you and they're just like, not even thinking. They're just kind of like. But it's still a state of hypnosis when you're just kind of driving and not thinking.
Oh yeah.
You turn up at your house.
You're not hitting cars, you're not in danger of crashing, you're just like on this complete present Autopilot.
Doesn't that weird you out? When you find yourself doing that, you're like, what the fuck? Oh yeah, yeah, like, I'm doing everything right.
I'm on the right road.
I'm in the right lane, I'm not speeding. You're like, I forgot if the last three lights were green, just baby dragging behind you.
How about just zoning out while I'm driving?
You're like, those last lights were green, right?
I'm not crazy, dude. It's so frustrating watching people text and drive, you watch them weave into the lane.
You're like, pull your fucking phone down. When you drive, you can see it, you can see it ahead, You're like, that's a texter, for sure.
100. I always want to pull up to them, just look at them, they're texting, you look at them, texting.
Look at them texting, it's fucking jackass.
You know what I do? When they're texting on a red light and they're looking down? I'll just like, honk next to them until they just start going. Before it's, I'm like, what the fuck look up?
Well, you don't have to do that now with CarPlay, Carplay is the shit.
You just speak your text, Yeah, man.
I do it all the time, I take care of so much shit. When I'm on my way to work, I can say, Text big J, go fuck yourself, bam.
And it says, Go fuck yourself, send it, and I go, yes.
Send it, send.
I don't know what this.
In my car, one time, me and Dan Soder were driving somewhere. And I was like, Hey, Siri, or whatever you got to say? And it was like, Hey, Siri? And it was like, What would you like me to do? And Soder just goes, Suck my dick.
And then the car goes okay, I have no idea why I went okay, texting Suck my dick to Anthony Cumia.
That's hilarious. I've never texted Anthony Cumia ever. Hey, suck my dick, by the way.
If you have a shitty microphone in your car, it'll fuck up.
Mine does that. When it's like, call so and so, they're like, calling this other person, you're like, no, no, no, stop, stop, stop.
Mine, I wear those little AirPods and sometimes I pick up the wrong ones. I have ones I have for the sauna and then ones for real world and the ones for the sauna. They get cooked, they go bad.
Yeah, they go bad, so like the microphone's bad, I'm talking to people, they're like, Where the fuck are you? I'm like, all right, this mic's bad.
It's cooked, it's over, so it gets sweat in it and shit and it gets fucked up. But they still play music.
Like, you can still listen to audio books on them that never dies, but the microphone dies.
The microphone's gone.
And so if I do that, like, Hey, Siri, call Ari Shafir, it's like, you know, texting Greg Fitzsimmons. It could be anybody. It doesn't know what the fuck you're saying, it'll play a book for you.
I like that. It'll just keep guessing wrong, though it never goes. I don't get it, you get to understand.
What are you saying? One day? It's going to talk to you like, Hey, Jay, is that really what you want to say to your friend?
Why don't you reconsider it?
Suck my dick really to Anthony Cumia.
Are you ready to burn that bridge?
Do you think, perhaps, that Anthony Cumia is gay and are you gay?
Is that what you're trying to say?
Can I get some context?
Is this more about you than him?
What if you opt in for AI to give you advice?
That would be interesting.
Yeah, what if you opt in for that?
Like high mathematical probability advice.
Yeah, yeah, if you opt in, so if you say, text Anthony Cumia suck my dick and it's like, big Jay, what are we doing? I need some context here, first of all.
Why are we doing this?
Are you saying, suck my dick because that's what you would like him to do? And are you gay or are you being insulting and possibly homophobic?
Classic Projection.
Is this what you want? Do you really want to put that energy out there in the world?
The voice AI is going to be a problem.
Does it sound like it?
That's going to be because we made that joke. When Soder left the bonfire, they gave us that program, they go, look and you just type whatever, and Soder's voice will say.
Anything?
It's fucking crazy, anything you want.
It's crazy. There's full podcasts of me having podcasts of people that I never talked to, like Steve Jobs, really. There's a whole conversation with me and Steve Jobs, apparently.
That people just did on AI.
They did it all on AI, they can do anything, it's over, it's over. Any idea of what is or is not the truth is going to become a real problem.
Do we have a date on it? Because I feel like I heard about it one day. Chat GPs.
It just keeps going. I mean, it's four right now, it's going to get to five. What levels? yeah.
It's like different levels.
Early VR versus now is like miles difference. Nobody's getting nauseous anymore.
Fuck, I just had a question, I can't remember what it was, what were we just talking about?
It doesn't change as much.
AI GPT going forward? Yeah, no.
AI making decisions for you or giving you suggestions. I'm not going to remember, I'm not going to remember.
But it has something to do with it.
The Voice podcast that looked like you.
Oh, yeah, using the voice.
Oh, no, this is what it was, that fucking TikTok ban, like, what is this actual law? That bill has nothing to do with TikTok, yeah.
Yeah, it has nothing to do with TikTok, what is it? It's all about having power to restrict access.
What's the deal with TikTok? When did TikTok become like a fucking evil?
Well, first of all, they nailed it. Adam Curry doesn't think they are. Adam Curry's perspective when I talked to him, and Adam Curry's brilliant, he said. He thinks that they're eating tech in America's lunch, and they're trying to block them out. Because it's a Chinese-owned company, and because they're saying that China's scooping up all the data, guess what?
He goes, That's exactly what these other companies are doing to you. They're all scooping up your data. The idea that your data is going to China is a problem.
What does that mean? It goes to China.
It's because China represents competition, and they developed an app that's the most addictive app ever.
Sure.
That's just Adam Curry's perspective.
Is Adam Curry MTV Original? V.J. Yeah, that guy's the shit. yeah, he's like a huge tech guy.
Do you know he's the fucking original podcaster? he's the pod father, he's number one?
It's wild, yeah. A couple things he was ground level on.
He's super deep in on the internet, man.
Yeah, it seems the same. It seems it's just an app that they're making money off ads.
But I will say what I've never seen before because Christine, my girlfriend, is like.
She's on it non-stop.
And I really like.
No, she stops herself now, but the fact that you're in a position where you have to stop yourself. And like, she can't wait for me to go to the bathroom or whatever, so she can just start seeing more of them. And I'm genuinely afraid to try, but I almost, like, almost at the same rate I want to try crack once. Like, see what all the hubbub's about? I want to go on and be like, I'm not into watching bite-sized videos or whatever, it's not my thing.
But the thing is, what it does is it finds what you're into. And one of the ways I know that is. My 12-year-old and my 14-year-old have fucking completely different feeds. They talk about it like my 12-year-old is into, like, weird facts and strange things, all kinds of stuff that the 14-year-old's not into.
The 14-year-old's into like, dress-up videos. It's like they're all people are into different shit, and that's what it'll find your thing. It's like, really good at that, but it's also like, super invasive.
But then the question is, how much do we know, other than what we found out from Twitter? How much do we know about, like, what these other companies are doing? And you just sign up for someone's app and then like, how about when you're talking about something, and then you see a Google ad for it? Like, what happened there?
We all know by now what the fuck is going on. You can turn that off, you can turn that, that's actually a function.
If you go into like Facebook on your phone, you can.
All of them you can put. Turn microphone off, it's an option, so it doesn't do that.
If you turn the microphone off, though, the app doesn't do almost anything.
It's just annoying.
It makes you almost keep it on. That's the only reason I have it on.
It hobbles it, it hobbles it so it can listen to you constantly.
That's too far, following shopping habits or something. It's like, maybe that's way too far.
What about like an Alexa helps you solve a crime? Because it, like, was recording or something?
I hate that.
If we didn't know, if you know, if, like this whole thing with Edward Snowden didn't come down, we would.
And that was a long time ago. If you really stop and think about it, we would have no fucking idea that there was a government full-scale surveillance program that was on the American people like on everybody, like they could spy on anybody.
They don't have to have warrants anymore, they're just they could do whatever they want. They could get all your emails, all your voicemails, like that is wild shit.
And we found out about it because a guy told everybody and then had to hide in Russia.
Damn, that's crazy.
AI scrapped 30 billion images from Facebook and other social media sites and gave them to cops. Oh my god, yeah. The background puts them into a perpetual police lineup.
Oh so, no more of that. So Ai, they're not in the system, they're not in the system.
Look at that 30 billion images from Facebook and social media sites. ...and gave them to police, so now they have your name and your face. So if you have a fake ID, if you, you know, you get pulled over. They know exactly who you are, and they can run that through some fucking computer that has a database of everything.
You've ever done? That's a big thing.
Social media, everything you've ever done.
That's so much deeper than DNA evidence, because they would say that, you know, if someone didn't have their DNA in.
Yeah, ....you couldn't find something. It was their first time like crime, and they weren't now....
You could be like, Did you buy a shovel recently?
Jamie, what is the law?
You're in the system if you have a phone.
What is this TikTok law? Because people are freaking out about it, and that's people are telling me that I have to look into it. The confusion is calling it the TikTok law for the Restrict Act.
TikTok is not listed in there at all, right? I'm sorry, but it's, you know, that's like, don't say gay Bill, sure.
It never really says, don't say gay in any of it.
Yeah, that was a misleading one.
It's very misleading, but that's also kind of how it's being sold to people. It's like, this is what's going to stop the bad TikTok stuff, right? But it's like, Hey, TikTok is not mentioned in here, so....
Right, ....maybe it won't do that at all.
So what does it say?
So this is what.
Instead of, like, just going after TikTok, they're making this sweeping act. The Restrict Act is described as a systematic framework for addressing technology based threats to the security and safety of Americans. That sounds ominous. It grants the Secretary of Commerce the authority to review transactions by certain foreign entities who offer information and communications technologies, products and services. In order to identify, investigate, and mitigate undue and unacceptable risks to the national security of the United States or its citizens.
This includes, but not limited to, impact the country's critical infrastructure and digital economy, sabotage or subversion of ICTs in the United States. Boy, that could be interpreted a lot of ways. Interference and manipulation of federal elections. Which could mean you're just skeptical, or you're gullible. And you bought into some conspiracy theories and you're talking about them. And instead of just being able to just talk like a nonsense person, you get jacked.
So it's like subverting the press.
Undermining the democratic process to steer policy and regulatory decisions in favor of the strategic objectives of a foreign adversary to the detriment of the national security of the United States. Like man, this is all so open to interpretation.
Like, think of those things impact the country's critical infrastructure and digital economy. That's easy to do. You can impact it. what if you impact it in a positive way?
Like, what are you saying? Impact it, the digital economy, like, what have you done? do you promote a certain coin? And it blows up?
Then you just impacted the digital economy.
Yeah, but if you like, stop using eBay.
Yeah, I mean, if someone like, think about these bitcoin guys, like, if Elon posts a Dogecoin image immediately, Dogecoin goes up, right? Doesn't that impact the digital economy? So what does that mean?
I don't know.
So what if he says the crypto is bullshit because he believes it? Well, doesn't that impact the digital economy?
Yeah, they could arrest him.
And are they talking about the digital economy that exists now, or are they talking about a centralized digital currency, which is what China does?
Is that what they're saying, or which is what they want to do? Are they saying that? Elon Musk It would be illegal for him to pump Dogecoin.
I don't know what they're saying, the problem is the way that's. I mean, obviously I'm not a lawyer, but the way that's written, scroll back down so I can read that the way that's written, yeah. Impact to the country's critical infrastructure and digital economy.
And digital economy is included in there. Like, what does that mean?
I don't know, I've never made money digitally.
Yeah.
But look at this, so this thing information, communications, technologies, products or services, right? So this is ICTS, this is sabotage or subversion of ICTs in the United States.
What's ICTs again?
So it's information, communications technologies, products or services, right?
Okay.
So, in order to identify, investigate, and mitigate, undo an unacceptable risk to the national security of the United States. So if you did something that, so subversion.
So they're saying.
So imagine if you said, I think these people are full of shit. And I think, you know, what they're trying to do is gain control of the United States. And I think we should resist that. That would fall into that.
And they're selling it as TikTok is doing this, TikTok is subverting our elections, or TikTok is subverting our economy. They're not even selling it that way.
They're not even selling it that way.
These countries are the foreign adversaries that may do bad stuff.
So they're like, it's a risk that they're going to do something bad with this.
Yeah, like, they've listed using a VPN as a way to subvert that, which would be illegal. And you get a gigantic fine, you could be 20 years in prison.
To use a VPN here. Oh, how do you steal? They're going to criminalize that.
Imagine they're going to criminalize VPNs? imagine that I'm always told to get a VPN.
You should get a VPN.
Potentially criminalizing the use of a VPN service or sideloading to access services blocked from doing business in the United States. Under the Act due to the text stating that no person may cause or aid, abet, counsel, command, induce, procure, permit, or approve of the doing of any act that violates the orders issued under the Act.
What? Oh, that's so confusing.
Bro, they're trying to gain more power. This is creepy, this is not good. And I just got to hope that people wise up and don't pass this. Does it seem like this is something they're passing?
I don't know that it's gotten that far, I know it's been proposed.
Do you think there's an order to it where it's like, first, we bill China as going after Hong Kong and Taiwan, now we see them as the enemy now, a business associated with them. We can get rid of that now. Yeah, I don't know, man.
The problem is, TikTok zombifies people, so if you take it away, they're going to revolt.
Yeah, they want it.
I don't think you have to take it away. But I think that act has nothing to do with TikTok. If people have legitimate concerns that people are abusing and overusing TikTok. That's a conversation people should have, sure, but this is not that.
It's not because of that, it's not because everyone's using it too much.
It's about what they're getting when you use it.
All that stuff seems very vague to me, Obviously I'm an idiot, but all that stuff seems very vague when they're reading out what they can get you for. And that last thing about acts that are listed as impermissible under the Act, or whatever the fuck the wording was, what the fuck is? ...?
You're covering all the bases. It seems like it's so open to interpretation now. Imagine if something like that existed during the pandemic, in the beginning of the pandemic, where people go, I don't know if these fucking masks work. You would immediately get.. ..
That's against the public health.
That's against that, that's right.
You'd be in legal trouble or something.
Now we know they don't work. So then it was. We think that you can still get sick, even if you get vaccinated immediately, you would get banned from things.
So this was in place.
Well, this guy got.
Been gone. A meme guy got found guilty for posting memes. I don't know the exact details of his. he got found guilty.
Yeah, they found him guilty.
And then what? What does that mean?
Do you know the memes guy? It was a very subtle parody of Hillary Clinton. He was like trying to say with this thing, like to Hillary voters, they could just stay home and text your vote into this number. Wasn't that it something like that?
It's a parody, but they took it seriously. Or somebody said, Can you believe this is happening?
They found the dude who did it and they fucking arrested him. He cheated that out. Avoid the line, avoid the line vote from home.
Text Hillary to 59925.
Vote for Hillary and be a part of history.
Amazing.
I mean, amazing, amazing. He was convicted today by a federal jury in Brooklyn of charge of conspiracy against the right.
It's the context you took away, the context of the parody, that's just subverting.
If you believe that was true, don't vote anyway, man.
Yeah, you shouldn't get a vote.
You shouldn't be able to vote if you can't get.
If you get duped by that, yeah, was there a line?
Oh, nice, why would anybody wait long?
We're worried about old people, right? Yeah, but at a certain point in time, should you really still be voting?
If you can't drive without murdering a bunch of people at a fair, you cannot vote.
There's this recent conversation that Biden had with Don Lemon. Have you seen it? No, there's this recent conversation where he's like, he asked him if he's been vaccinated. It's very strange.
He asked Biden if he's vaccinated.
Now I don't know again, I don't know if this is real. Here's the problem. I didn't watch it when it came out, and with AI now? ....
You don't know if it's real anymore.
You don't know what the fuck is real.
I love it, I love the idea that we're not going to believe anything in pictures, it's only going to be real life.
But this is like a video of Biden stammering, like, we can't find what he's talking about. And he's kind of drifting and talking about different things. And none of it makes any sense to anybody.
How long goes it from?
No, it works.
Yeah, that's it.
You got the vaccination? yeah, are you okay? I mean, you seem? No, it works.
Or the mom and dad, or the neighbor, or when you go to church, or when you're, No, I really mean it.
There are trusted interlocutors. Think of the people if your kid wanted to find out whether or not there were there's a man on the moon or whatever.
You know something, or you know whether those aliens are here or not. Who are the people they talk to, beyond the kids who love talking about it?
I do feel sympathy. It feels like when I smoke too much pop before a show. And I go on a tangent in the middle of a joke and don't know where I'm going. Oh, yeah, those are fun.
Those are fun.
Yeah, and I'm not saying, no, listen for real, though, yeah.
What was that you were there?
What was that?
What was that?
I don't know.
Like, at that point in time, should you still be voting?
Yeah.
Like, if it wasn't the president, I mean, if you can show like, should we? I don't want to restrict anybody's right to vote, right, nobody does.
Yeah, but if you're like, some fucking crazy crackpot qanon person and you've got an uncle that can't read anymore. And you take him in. And you're like, we're going to fucking, you know, you like, start writing things in and like,....
Also.
How about a voting exit?
You can't vote until you're 18.
Maybe you have to stop when you're like 80..
Maybe 80.
These laws aren't going to affect you, they're going to affect us.
Yeah, I mean, stop being in line.
Yeah, every day's a gift, bitch, just live it out.
Yeah, the video was edited just a little bit, apparently.
Oh, for sure.
Oh, how much was it edited? I'm trying to find out.
That's all you need, you can't believe any of it.
Amazing, though, that's amazing. It looks so seamless. Yeah, he was telling he went into a story.
He was answering his question, but then he went into a story and they took out that part. I guess, oh, what, cunts, just to make him look rambling.
He fumpers around plenty, though.
He fumpers around plenty.
At some point.
Let's say you have the dad in a family who's leading it. And then he becomes a little older and he starts going senile. At some point, all the kids are like, we don't have to listen to him anymore, right?
Yeah, you've got to take care of him now. Now it's like, we've got to take care of dad, or else he drives a lawnmower on the highway. You have to take care of dad.
The other chicks are taken over at this point.
I have friends that have dads that are compromised. It's a real problem. It's like you can't leave them alone. They don't know where they're going, they'll just get in the car and drive.
They'll go someplace and forget how to get home.
And they don't want to get out the keys.
Well, they don't want to stop living their life. And then sometimes you have to put them in a place where there's going to be medical supervisors watching over them because they don't know what's going on.
How awful is it? Horrible? Bruce Willis knows it's coming, he's not even there yet. What?
It's incurable what he's got.
He's pretty fucked up, he's got something called aphasia, and then there's also some other diagnosis that he got recently, some form of dementia.
No.
Yeah, some neurodegenerative.
Type deal Bruce fucking Willis.
Yeah, it won't get better. And he's aware that over the next probably year, I guess, or so, he's going to become, like, not aware of what's going on around him.
God, what causes that?
You know, it's something with a....
What would you do? would you just go into senility or would you like handle it?
I would try mushrooms, yeah, because you know, the neurodegenerative process of, like any kind of a disease like that, I would imagine. When you talk about what is the...?
There's a thing that mushrooms can do.
Change your neural pathway.
Lion's Mane and.
Golden Futures.
And psilocybin, they apparently can help to grow neurons, which is very, very unusual. There's something about it. Psychedelic drugs actually help neurons in the brain sprout new dendrites, which look like branches on a tree, to increase communication between cells. These drugs can increase neural outgrowth.
They can increase the branching of neurons, they can increase your synapses. So I would imagine if it can do that, that. There's probably some benefit if someone's got something wrong with their mind and it seems like it's feeding the mind.
Maybe it's worth a try. Yeah, it's worth a try. May as well.
Dude, that's the greatest theory of all time, is Terence McKenna's Stoned Ape theory.
That just evolved him.
He thinks that's how people became people, that we were primates, and we stumbled upon mushrooms and we started eating them, and then we became.
Better Hunters.
We got smarter. If it does that, doesn't that make sense? If you're a monkey and you're eating mushrooms all the time, you'd probably figure out things.
I'd like to imagine it happened instantly, where the mushrooms, the monkeys, eat it, and then just suddenly, like, what?
Whoa?
There's a video on that you just got back, yeah, what the fuck?
There's a video.
Yeah, this dude.
Bob Seska He made a video about it.
Really, tons and tons of mushrooms, though, seems like they're evolving. Yeah, true.
That's a very good point.
Their fashion stops changing.
They never seem like, No, dude, I'm above you.
You gotta help, you know what, you have it already. Oh, that's it.
Yeah, some of them. No, no, no, no, that's not it.
That's a very good likeness of you, Joe.
That's not it, I'll find it. I'm sorry, Jamie, I'll find it. Talk amongst yourselves.
Well, we got Big Jay Special coming out right now. Oh shit, dog belly.
Coming out right now.
How excited are you, Jay?
I'm so excited. Ari came in and showed me everything I would have never known how to do at all in special making. I thought that's the funniest when I tell people is that when Ari was like, I'll help you, I was like, All right. So I guess now we start the process of hiring the first of what?
50 people we have to hire.
You have zero clue.
I think you just gotta hire a producer.
Yeah, he's like, How do you find a lighting guy? I'm like, No, we don't.
Someone else Do I have to go to a boom microphone store?
Interview them.
Yeah.
But yeah, Ari walked me through, I said, Yeah, I'm pumped, man, this is, uh.
When was your last one? Hold on.
We'll talk about it, that's not it. God damn it, this is crazy. I have so many videos on my phone.
I'm such an idiot. Oh, I found it, I found it, I found it here.
It goes here, it goes. Bob Seska I actually had him make this back in, like.
Man.
I want to say, like the 90s, it might've been like 2000 or something like that.
Or 2001?
You made it a chimp, instantly changing.
Did you get it? Um, it's, uh, it's the stone deep theory like, go full screen.
Here it is.
Here it is.
It's made a long time ago.
Oh.
Shit.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
How dope is that?
Damn, that's cool.
Okay, I fucked up, I fucked up. That's not Bob Seska, that's not the one he made for me, that's a different one, but that one's awesome.
There's.
Who did that? Can you find out who made that? That's funny, that was on. Is that possible?
That was on Comedy Central.
It's funny that's on Comedy Central, and then the video underneath of it said, Like, it was like, Why the Stone-dape theory is bad? It's such a funny like it was on Comedy Central. First of all, like, relax.
The Bob Seska one now I remember, was different, it had like aliens and laser beams.
That one was cool.
Yeah, do you remember that one?
No, this one was cool.
That one was dope as fuck, but that was not the one that I had anything to do with that. But that's Terrence McKenna's theory. He thinks that they just started eating mushrooms and figuring things out, evolve their brains.
It's back by climate science, because that was at the time. There's a giant jump in human brain size. Over a period of, like, two million years, the human brain doubles, which is bananas, apparently. And so what? It coincides with tip-tank, trip-tank.
Trip-tank, trip-tank, stone-dape theory. But is that just the website that has it hosted? Yeah, I mean, it was a show on....
Oh, that was the show called Trip-tank. That fucking thing's awesome. But um, so he thinks that this time, this period of two million years, it coincides with these rainforests receding into grasslands. And so the food sources change. Because then there's cows shitting in the grass. And then they're looking for different things to eat, and they flip over cow patties and find like bugs and shit to eat. They've always done that.
And they're just like, this is a vegetable.
They ate the mushrooms, too, they tried them, and when they ate them, they realized. It makes them see better. It increases visual acuity in low doses, and it also makes you horny.
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