Control the Controllables (Don’t Wait for Washington To Save You)

From Ramsey Network, you're listening to the Ramsey show I'm Your host Jade Warshaw, joined by your other host, Dr. John Deloney. We're taking calls for the next couple of hours about your life and your money, so give us a call. The number is 888-825-5225 and we will get into it. We'll get knee-deep in all the things that you're going on and what's going on in your world, so give us a call.

Hi, I am in a bit of trouble, actually.

Okay.

So I guess I don't want to even start. So, I guess in the last year, I've been building up some debt, kind of hiding it from my family. And it all recently came out and pretty much is tearing apart my family at this point, so.

How much debt, man?

About $50,000.

What are you buying?

So that's the worst part is not really buying anything, it's actually streaming. So I used to play video games a lot, I'm actually in the military, so I used to play video games as a way to kind of cope.

The definition of addiction is a pattern of behavior that continues after the person knows that it is hurting me, and I continue to do it anyway. Can I tell you, Alex, you can, This is me just being straight up with you.

Honestly, I know it sounds crazy, but that literally is it. It was ...

You're just sitting there watching Twitch and you're just gifting thousands of dollars away to people.

Yes, I got so into the hype.

Over what course of time? How long did it take you to acquire this debt?

It was over a year.

Bro, I'm having a hard time with it.

Same.

I'm having a hard time with it. Are you married?

I am, I'm married, I have kids. That was the hardest part was once I realized how bad it was and I disconnected myself.

From those things, dude, you would know, man, Alex, you would know. Maybe if you're sitting there trying to explain this to your wife or something, she'll buy this. But you had to actually go open new credit cards.

I did.

You didn't just open your eyes and there was $50,000.

No, the credit cards were old ones that we had zero balance on, that we had used from years prior, when during Covid we were using. My wife wasn't able to work, so it was just my income that was supporting us. Mortgage rates in Colorado are not very good at all, and they haven't been for a long time.

Rest of them off.

Let me ask a little bit of a more tactical question. You've got $50,000 in credit cards, you've got to make minimum payments. Is that what raised the flag to her? How did she not notice? Hey, there's hundreds of dollars going out every month in minimum payments?

Well, so I actually went and opened up a checking account on the side so that way I could have some of my paycheck.

Right, but she's still seeing hundreds of your.

All I can say is that we were never really good with finances when it comes to keeping track. As long as we knew we had money to do things and pay things, we weren't really paying attention. As much as I never really cared what she was spending money, she never really cared what I was spending money on. And it didn't get to that. Like I said, she didn't realize....

So $500 or $800 could be gone and her not even notice.

Yeah.

Wow, bro, Jade and I make a lot of money and...

I would.

I'm telling you right now, I'm like a bird dog.

I know if money's missing, sheesh.

All right, so how can we help, man?

Yeah.

So, I mean, at this point, the basic thing is I'm just terrible with money, obviously, and I have no idea what I'm doing.

That's not the problem, that's not the problem, bro.

Alex, are you telling us that you're done? You've called in to talk about the money aspect of this. So that makes me think, okay, he thinks he's finished with this behavior. What is causing you to think that you're finished with this behavior is what I want to know. Otherwise, what I tell you is not going to matter at all.

Yeah, so I mean, we've started doing family counseling, marriage counseling.

Did you give her the receipts?

Yes, I gave her access to every single bank account so she can look at the history, see every single transaction. Okay?

All right, good for you.

I mean, we've been married for 17 years and I love my wife more than anything, she's my best friend. And I honestly have no idea why I got into it. But I think that's part of the counseling that we're going through. Good for you, I'm trying to understand.

Good for you, I'm proud of you.

I just know that I don't want to lose that.

Okay, I'm proud of you on that man. You're going to have to work through the money side of it, you're going to have to follow the baby steps and pay it off. Hang on the line.

I've been doing this show for over 30 years and some of the saddest calls I've taken are from situations that are completely preventable. Yeah, and what's so hard is I feel like one of those, especially the ones that I'm like, Oh, it's terrible. People that call in and their spouse has passed away suddenly and they don't have life insurance.

Hey, Jade, last night was the first debate, we'd like to go ahead and give our thoughts on the debate.

What's going on, Christian?

Hey guys, thanks for having me.

You're welcome.

For about a year, me and my wife were planning on getting a $200,000 addition, but the numbers don't make sense. I want to sell the house, go live with my parents and buy a $900,000 house, our dream home. She's not really on board with it.

Okay, let me ...

That's a lot of swings, man.

Let me run this back, let me run this back. You were wanting to make a $200,000 addition to the house.

Yes.

Okay.

What's the addition?

A two-car garage with about 550 square feet above it, which is two bedrooms and a master bath.

Okay, if you did that, would it make that house worth $900,000??

My dilemma is, our mortgage is $2,400.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, just answer me that question, right, quick. Because then the other plan was that you were going to go buy a $900,000 house. That's what I'm trying to understand.

Right now, we could sell our house for $700,000.

Okay, if you did the addition, you're hoping that you putting that money in, you would at least make it ...

I don't think it would be worth $900,000.

Oh, okay, okay.

Because of the comps.

Okay, okay.

So the addition would suddenly make it beyond the nicest house in this area. Yes, okay, gotcha.

Got it okay, so now tell us more. My screen says that your wife doesn't agree with this.

No, so, if we put $100,000 of our own money and $100,000 HELOC, that brings our mortgage from $2,400,000 to $3,600,000. And if they raise our taxes, that would put us close to $4,000,000 a month, and I'm not comfortable with that.

Okay, what percentage of your take-home income is that?

We take home around $10,000 a month.

Okay, okay, so there's a lot wrong with this initial plan. A I don't like you borrowing against your home to do upgrades because you're putting your own home on the line in order to do that. Why is there this urgency to do all of this?

Well, we have three kids six, eight and ten, and the boys share a room, so we want something bigger. We have a big eating kitchen with no dining room, so we want a dining room to be able to host family, host events.

But, bro, what do you think the payment on a $900,000 house is going to be?

Right with today's rates?

Well, it would be less than getting an addition, because if we sell the house after realtor fee, we would take home a little over $450,000.

Okay, so you put half down on it.

No, we would put about 60 to 70 down on it.

How?

Oh, you've got $100,000 cash.

Oh, you've got the $100,000 cash, okay?

We have close to $300,000, but I wouldn't.

So how much in all are you putting down between cash and equity?

Oh, on the addition.

No, no, no, if you do what you say, you do, which is you sell your current home. You take that equity, you put it towards a down payment, and you put other cash that you have sitting around towards a down payment. On a $900,000 house, how much cash is that that you plan on putting down?

I would want to put down $600,000, $650,000, tops.

Okay, $650,000 tops, and that gets you where you want to be. What we would teach is the payment all in hoas, everything taxes, insurance is no more than 25 of your take-home pay, so that gets you there.

That gets me to $3,200,000 $3,300,000.

Okay, so tell me where your wife is in all of this?

So that we don't have to have the headache of waiting for a buyer and then selling and all that, and finding a home and then selling. I would rather just wipe our hands clean, sell the house, move in with my parents that are a mile away and take our time six to nine months and find our dream home. Take that $600,000 put in a six-month CD of 5.5 interest.

Does she like your parents?

Yeah, originally, when we renovated the first floor during Covid, we stayed there for four months.

How old are you guys?

35 and 37.

Ooh, with three kids, so a family of five going in.

I don't know any wife in America that would want to take three kids and their husband and move back in with their in-laws.

Me neither.

You seem like you've got to panic.

I don't know what's going to happen before the election or during the election.

Now we're talking homie. Listen, I've been there, I've been an anxious, lunatic mess. I sold my house and moved my family into a residence hall, a dorm.

So what do you suggest? Just wait, I didn't realize. That addition is around $300 a square foot for top of the line.

I don't want you borrowing money for anything.

If we have about $250 or $300 in our savings or stock portfolio, you suggest we just pay it outright instead of taking a HELOC?

I would never put my family's house on the block for a living room, ever, or for a garage.

Well, we already have a garage with a sunroom attached to it.

Here's the thing.

It's not about that.

Here's the thing. A my take on this is a I don't want you making this decision until a couple of things are a little bit more in focus. Number one you and your wife have to be on the same page and it doesn't sound like you are.

And Christian, Listen, I've been there and here's the worst part. You go with you, whatever you sell, whatever you buy, you go with you. So tonight after dinner, I want you to hold your wife's hand and say, I've never said this out loud, honey. But I'm scared and I'm going to talk to somebody before.

You know, it doesn't take a degree in statistics to realize this one stinks. Ninety three percent of undergraduate private student loans are co-signed. So when you're delinquent and drowning, mom or papa or uncle, Joe is stuck in that financial stress along with you. But there is a way out. Why Refi?

Why REFI is not licensed by the California Department of Financial Protection and Innovation? Why REFI is not authorized by the New York State Department of Financial Services to service any New York loans? Funding may not be available in all states.

You're listening to the Ramsey show, I'm Jade Warshaw. Next to me is Dr. John Deloney. John, did you watch the debate last night?

I actually did not. I was on that text thread with you and Rachel Cruz and others, and then I got caught up this morning. But I think it's important to have this conversation based on this last caller. I don't know anybody.

I stayed up till midnight, yeah.

And I did watch some of the after stuff.

Like, completely unbothered.

What is happening? And my my like, please, if you've ever been at the slightest bit convinced that the person in the White House is going to save you.

Oh, now we know.

I think the answer we all got our answer. And so what that means is we have to look in the mirror and say, Okay. As for me in my house, what's this going to look like? Yeah, and the worst thing you can do is, as my great mentor, Dr. Andy Young used to say, facts are your friends when you're heading into a crisis.

Turn it off, that's the word right there, if you already know.

Don't just baste in this.

No, don't baste in it.

But here's the deal. As for me, in my house, that's where we are, and we've been saying that. Dave's been saying that for 30 years. Yeah, it's the person in your house that's going to make the most difference. So my hope is that people start meeting their neighbors and they start asking each other, like, Hey, man, how can we figure this thing out?

I have zero to add to that because it's exactly right, and I would be beating a dead horse by adding, Beat it. Well. I mean, it's true. I probably fed into it a little bit too much. Last night. I stayed up late. And you're right, John.

There you go.

There's things that you can control, and there's things that you can't control, and you know.

And if you need to make your phone calls and make your send your emails, send them, yes, make your phone calls, get on the horn.

Can I just say this like this is, I'm going to get off my soapbox after this, if there was ever a time. Pray for your leaders, pray for the people who have leadership over you. That's the best thing you can do.

68,.

Is that good?

A buddy of mine was texting last night. He's a pastor, he's a great friend, and he just said, I'm praying for our country and I just wrote back, Pray Louder.

Pray Louder.

And then after a while, I was following along with the debate and I said, I don't think you've got the right number. And he said, I keep getting a return to my prayer. New phone who dis?

That's great new phone who dis? Wow, okay, but yeah, just so you know, like.

We shan't, as for me and my house.

We shan't.

Let's go out to Portland and talk to Jessica, What up, Jessica?

Hi John, Hi Jade, I'm so excited to talk to you guys. you are my heroes.

We're happy to talk to you too, we're glad you're here.

That's a low bar, Jessica, at least watch.

The Marvel Movies.

All the time, no. Thank you so much.

What's up?

But I'm hoping that you can help me with a huge mess. My husband and I are on Baby Steps six and we've kind of landed into this big financial mess, not of our own choosing. My husband's dad and his wife are at the end stage of their life. My husband's dad is on hospice care right now and he's got maybe a couple of weeks left. And his wife is borderline dementia. And she doesn't really have the ability to hold it together enough to keep track of their finances.

To be worth $35,000.

And we just wonder, Yeah, to be worth $35,000? And his name is the only name that's on it. His wife's name is not on the RV. And we're wondering if we can let it go back to the creditors.

No.

Or if we should.

No, don't do that.

Work to pay it off.

Um, no, don't do a voluntary repo, that's gonna be horrible, that's I wouldn't do that. They've got $18,000 saved, assuming that you have control over this money. I would just take that $18,000 and bridge the gap and get rid of it, zero it out. And then that puts them at what? $22,000 in debt.

Yes, yes. The other $22,000 is a car that they owe $10,000 on. And um, what is the rest of it? It's a there's a trailer. How much?

Is the trailer?

The trailer's only $3,000, and we already have it sold, so as soon as.

We get the money.

For that, that'll be paid off.

So it's just the car, yeah.

And is there any life insurance here when he passes?

Yeah.

There might be about $30,000, but I'm worried that they're not gonna pay because it's a non-smoking policy. And he only stopped smoking a year ago, so I don't understand. I don't know if they're gonna say, well, he only stopped smoking a year ago, so now we're not gonna pay. I don't know how that works.

You'll have to get with somebody to find out the clarity on that. But I think that you can clear out a lot of the just craziness of this by selling, like you said, you sold the trailer already. Do the same thing with this RV. If you need to close the gap. Use that $18,000 that they have saved, or at least keep $1,000 of it, but use the $17,000 to do that, and then the $3,000 a month. Okay, so tell me about the mother-in-law.

She doesn't, she's not a good patient, She would make a terrible patient in a care facility or a hospital. She really actually doesn't want to live. After he dies, she, I feel like she's going to deteriorate very quickly.

So she's going to have to come stay with you guys.

Well, she's a smoker, and we don't want her to smoke in our house.

Well, then then you might end up putting her in an apartment where she's got a, you know, a care nurse or something like that. Whatever it is, my point is that, judging by the numbers, you guys are going to be on the hook for figuring out the best way to do this. And I want to make sure that you guys get the power of attorney that you need ahead of time so that when the time comes, you can make the call. Like, if we're selling their house, we're selling that house so that we can provide care for her.

They have no house, they have no assets whatsoever, okay?

Are there siblings involved?

No, we're the only ones.

Okay, then you guys are definitely going to be the ones that are making these calls and just know financially, put yourself in the best situation that you can. Because where these numbers fall, might leave you guys on the hook to be shelling out a.

Not buying and selling houses. Yeah, you gotta have insurance for houses too, man. I mean, you do, but what I'm talking about here?

Is, if you're trying to get insurance for all the things that we say that you need insurance for, which is, you know, for your home. Obviously, for your auto, life insurance, renter's insurance. Yep, even identity theft insurance is a big one. What else? There's a lot.

Umbrella insurance on that last call, like, you've got a husband who's passing away.

Yeah, ooh, life insurance.

And then you have a kid saying, How am I gonna take care of mom? Yeah, she's not doing well. And there's 30,000 bucks. That may be a fraudulent policy.

Yeah.

Let's talk about that because not helpful, guys.

Talk about that, John, because so many people, I cannot tell you how many times I say, Do you have life insurance? No, that is not like you're doing good if you get $25,000..

That's a high five policy that's enough to get you through the funeral. Yes, that's it, not to pay a bill.

That's it, and we're talking about 10 to 12 times your income. The whole purpose of insurance is to mitigate risk, it's to cover the things that you can't afford to pay for. And one of those things when it comes to life insurance is, who are the people that are dependent on your income?

But I do know this. I've sat with multiple women whose husbands are dead in the next room and they look at me and they have said these almost identical words. I don't know what I'm gonna do next, and my conversation shifts from how do we grieve and who do we call to? We're gonna have to help you get a job on Monday. Don't put your spouses in that position.

Even a car accident because you don't have the right coverage and you hit somebody and then they hit somebody.

Man, that's just hollowing me, dude. I remember those.

It's a lot, but we're here for you, we're here for you. We will take the hard part out of it again. Ramsysolutions.com slash coverage. Let us do that for you, all right, let's go to Jaden.

Hi there, yeah, so I'm 20 years old, I make about 40,000 a year and I have three kids at home. I'm 22,000 in debt.

Jaden.

I'm trying to figure out how to. Yeah, can you hear me?

Yeah, you broke out for a minute.

Oh, I'm sorry, so yeah, I'm 20 years old, have three kids at home, I make about 40,000 a year and I'm $22,000 in debt. I'm just trying to figure out just how to pay off this debt and kind of just set an example for my kids. So I didn't kind of do the same thing that I did.

Is it just you raising the kids or do you have a wife?

No, I have a wife, yeah.

Is she working or is she at home with the kids?

She's at home with the kids. She was working right before she had the baby, and then the company they had sold to another company and let her go.

Okay, so she chose to stay home by default, not because that was the plan, it was like, as a reaction.

Right, and I mean, childcare out here is just extremely expensive.

What do you do for a living, man?

I work in asphalt.

Okay, what are the ways you can get this income up? You got three kids, you're in Denver, Colorado, there's just no way you can support a family on that man, and you know that.

Yeah, I know we've been just nickel and diamond. Right now. I have applied for other jobs, I'm trying to get HVAC certified and become a plumber and electrician.

Okay, great.

Are you actively in a program?

No, I have about a week after applying, so I applied about last week.

What will it cost? What does that cost?

So if I go through the company that I applied through, they pay for the schooling and I just have to sign an 18 month contract with them.

Okay, and what will you make? How will that change your income?

Coming out of school.

Okay, and you'll be able to work full time at 40 hours.

Right, yes, yeah. Right now I'm making about 22 an hour, working 60 hours a week.

Okay, so that's gonna be a nice jump for you. How old are the kids?

Oh, I have a five-year-old, a three-year-old and a three-month-year-old.

Ooh, Lordy, Okay, yeah, you're in the thick of it. So the five-year-old's gonna be going to kindergarten soon. Yeah, that'll help your wife out. And what was she doing before this?

Well, so she was doing housekeeping at a local hospital.

Okay, what was she earning?

She was getting about 35 a year.

Okay, so there was a time there was a life where you guys were making almost 80,000 a year and now you're down to 40.

As of right now, no. Like, I've tried. I've got sisters and brothers all around and kind of, like, reached out to them about maybe paying them to watch my kids and it's not-.

It's not happening.

Yeah, it's not gonna happen, so.

Even like a part-time, is there a I just wanna make sure you guys are attacking this from every angle. Even like a mom's day out where she can work part-time, something where she can bring in. I mean, even $800 a month would change you guys world right now.

Or she gets a job at a daycare center.

Right, yeah, I really haven't thought about that.

The other alternative, brother, is, you're gonna get done 60 hours pouring asphalt in this madhouse summer heat, and then you gotta go drive Uber. Man. Y'all just don't have enough money.

Right?

And bro, I've had two kids, I haven't had three. I can hear how tired you are, but I've never even personally experienced this. I wouldn't wish that on anybody working asphalt out in the summer. To go have to go drive, but man, y'all gotta have some more money.

When does this HVAC thing turn around for you? When do you expect to be making that salary that hourly?

So, yeah, so starting out with them, I'd be making for 24 an hour and two nights a week. For five years, I'd be going to school.

Oh, it's five years, this is a five-year turnaround.

Yeah, so about five years I'll be making close to 40 an hour.

Okay, we gotta do something sooner than that.

You can't hold on for five years.

Yeah, what's your living situation? are you renting? are you in a house? Tell us more.

Yeah, I'm renting right now, my wife talks about buying a house.

You're not near it, you're not near that. Hey, you're between a rock and a hard place. And the only thing that's gonna change this. This is not something you can cut away at a budget, although we're gonna make sure you have a budget before you leave here.

Hey.

Hey.

How are you? I'm great.

How can we help?

So I'm trying to think of a question that it was a Oh, how can I better budget my money? I feel like I'm in a pickle. I make decent money, in fact, I think I make real good money, and there's really no excuse why I should be broke.

Well, what's really good money?

Well, let's see here. Last year I did about 270, about 280, okay, and the year before that I did about two or 330, about 330. And I'm in sales, so I average like, on a bad year, I'll hit 100, my best year 330, I average about 200..

Okay, great. Can I ask, what kind of sales?

So I'm a freight broker, I work in trucking.

Sweet, All right, is it just you? Do you have a family?

Yeah, a wife and five kids.

Wow.

That's why you'd be broke. Jordan. You got lots of mouths to feed my man.

Yes, Sir, Oh, and my two nieces live with us now, too.

Because why not? why not?

Wow, and so I'm guessing your wife's not working or is she taking care of the kids? Tell me more.

Yeah, she's a stay at home mom, she takes care of the kids and holds down the castle.

Okay, so she's Queen of the Castle. You're making 280,000, you said. How can I budget my money better? Are you using a budget or is that something you know you need to start?

Yeah, it's something I know I need to start. I was doing good for a while and then my buddy mentioned he said something about, Oh, yeah, you gotta get the Dave Ramsey book. And I thought he was talking about the chef. I said, no, I don't need to know how to cook, he said, No, not Gordon Ramsey, Dave Ramsey.

I'm just kidding.

Yeah, don't answer it.

And what happened? So what'd you do?

So I was doing good for a while. I paid off my cars, I was saving money, paid off the truck, paid off the car, paid off like 80 of all of our credit card debt.

Did you cut up the credit cards?

No, I still have about five of them, do they have balances? One of them has. So my wife has an older one that's about 17, 18,000, and I have one that's currently about 10 or 11..

Okay, okay, what else? What other debt do you have?

That's it, though. We sold our house, we just rent.

Oh gosh, so it was like, that, did you sell your house because it was a drain on you or because of another reason?

It was we got. I ended up getting like this, some kind of loan where the it started off at 4, but then it fluctuated with, like, the market rate.

Yeah, okay, so you're out of that, you're renting now. This is a wonderful time for you guys to just hit reset if I'm you. You need to pay off these credit cards, you need to cut them up today.

Seriously.

Yeah, I'd do it right now.

100 unless you've given up on your question.

You know what? Yes, I would.

Do it right now.

Go get them, bro, John and I. we'll fill the space, go get those cards.

Oh, my heart's racing right now. Oh my God.

And listen, your heart's racing. I want you to feel that, because that is the security you have outsourced to that stupid piece of plastic. And the power we're trying to give you. As the great raging machine said, I want you to take your power back to where you are. Your own bank, you have an emergency fund sitting in a savings account.

That's so true. Do you have any cash left around?

Oh, my bad, we have two questions. You got any cash?

I have about 900 in checking and 1,100 in savings.

That's perfect, that's all you need for right now, because we're gonna get you on the track. To answer the question that you called in with is How can I budget my money better? The first step to budgeting your money better is putting your money back in your pocket. And stop giving it away in debt payments every month, stop giving it away to credit card companies.

Yeah, and I thought I had five, I have six.

Ooh, even better.

They're having their own babies in there, man. You got a fertile myrtle house going on there.

Here's what I want you to do. I want you to tell us the name of the card as you're cutting it up and tell us once it's clipped, hold it up. Say American Express, Gone forever, clip it.

You wanna use the card shredder? Yeah, I'll use the card shredder that's safer for my mind. Hold on, I got the card shredder right here.

All right.

Turn this bad boy on.

Turn it on, crank it up.

Here it is all right. This one's a U.S bank.

Let her go bye, Felicia.

There it is, and then I got two Kohl's, Kohl's right there, another Kohl's.

You got enough, Khakis brother, you're good.

And then I got freedom Unlimited.

Oh, you're about to find your own freedom, come on now.

I got capital one, venture one.

Oh, what's in your wallet?

Money and then capital, one venture, one, platinum.

Oh, platinum.

Oh, that one felt good. when they mailed you that one, you felt like you was somebody, didn't you?

I did, yeah.

Let it go, shred them, what else you got?

Oh my God, there they are, that's it, that's all six.

They're all dude, that's it.

Is that your wife yelling? What are you doing?

I need you to see, there is a whole dude, Jordan, there is a whole studio audience of people here at this show. They are cheering for you, they are ripping their shirts off. They are so proud of what you just did, because those people know that you just changed your life.

I feel like I'm gonna throw up.

I know.

Damn it, yeah, game on.

Game on brother.

Game on.

When's your next paycheck come?

Next Friday if all my bills are due and I don't think I have.

You're gonna make this happen, you got it, you've got your emergency fund, we're gonna give you everything you need when we get off this call.

That's exactly right. And brother, listen, we're gonna get like, she said. We're gonna give you total money makeover of the book for free. We're gonna give you a year subscription to every dollar that attaches to your bank. So you and your wife can learn to budget together for free. We're gonna hook you up with a phone number so you can call a financial coach and you can help you figure out which bills and how to tell this creditor. We're gonna move this one to over here to help you navigate what's coming your way.

Really free.

Today is your first step to taking back your house. You make a quarter million dollars. I want you to feel like it, proud of you, my brother.

So proud. Few people would do that. This guy's bought in.

All right, today's question comes from Bethany in Alabama. I homeschool and I also have two work from home jobs. My husband is a Christian and works in a Christian environment. That's usually how they set it up, Jade.

Something bad's about to happen, I know.

But he goes back and forth between saving and overspending. He makes twice as much as I do, but he's currently in spending mode.

Wow, I'm reeling from that, okay?

And y'all go to a church with strange doctrine.

Yeah, very strange. Yeah, we're taking some things out of context there, but that's another conversation.

I think it's deeper. I think it sounds like he is a toddler with a salary and he thinks he gets to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. And if she has a problem with it, then she can just go fix it herself.

True, yeah, but if I'm like, when you throw out, listen, let's be real, you're married, I'm married. You get in the heat of an argument, there might be something you throw out that is off base, right?

As bull crap on a stick and a box, that's just not true.

Well, there's another side to that, where it could be that he's okay, let me play the other side of that, which is some people just are. They're such tight wads and it's like, you want me to cut back even more. There's nothing left to cut, and I don't know if that's the situation here. It could be what John is saying.

Well, she's saying he's buying so much toys and that she's having to pay his bills because he's spending so much.

Yeah, it's not good, she said. I think it's nonsense to save, he thinks it's nonsense to save and that we should be trusting God. So now we're to the third question, the third problem, which is you guys have. It's even like, went into your spirituality of, like, how you believe and what you believe, and what this means, and what this doesn't mean.

Well, I mean, it's like they got a faith-based budget, which means we're just gonna spend and hopefully God will pay the bills. And it just doesn't work. It's just not life. And so I guess, Bethany, What I would tell you is this your marriage is in way more trouble than you're willing to admit.

This is not good, not good. It reminds me of a joke, I don't know if I can tell it.

Rip, let it rip.

All right, there's this joke, I'm not gonna tell this well, but it's basically-.

Joe, put your finger on the dump button, buddy.

There's a guy and he's stranded on an island, and he sees an airplane go by, but he doesn't signal it. He says, God will save me, and then he sees a boat go by, and he doesn't signal it.

And listen, if you're buying toys, and I'm sure that's four wheelers, guns, guitars, grills, whatever.

Yeah.

Those are purchases that you need to sit down and talk through with your spouse.

Woo, that is tough. Thank you for the question. Speaking of questions, let's take another social question. I've got one here, okay?

I'll say, What do you say Karen? I mean, What do you say Jade?

I say, you know, one thing about the stock market is it's a roller coaster. You ride it when it's up, you ride it when it's down. And the way we talk about it here is really the idea of dollar cost averaging. No matter what you're putting aside, you know whatever. That percentage is every month, especially if you're out of debt, and you have, you know, your emergency savings, you're doing 15 every single month.

I just got a note from my Smart Investor pro.

What'd he say?

The S&P 500 had its best may since 2009.

Yeah.

As for me and my house, Karen? I've got money in a high yield savings account because cash makes me feel a little bit safe. I also have money in my investments, in my mutual funds. I don't have money in stocks. Because I'm not better than the super AI computers that they're using to trade those things. I can't win that game and you can't either. So have a little bit of cash, have an emergency fund and then put the rest in.

That's so true. If all the banks go out, I need cans of beans, I need batteries.

That's right, you need wood for fire. Like, it's, yes, we're good.

This is the Ramsey show.

Hi Jade and John, how are you guys today?

Excellente.

Great, well, my question is about a whole life insurance policy and if I should take the cash surrender value and use it for a partial down payment on a condo?

Yes, yes. For cashing out the whole life policy, we'll talk about more about the condo, how much is the, how much is the cash out?

The cash surrender value is about 50k right now. Okay?

Do you already have term life insurance in place?

I do not, but I do not have any dependents, so I didn't know necessarily if that was needed.

Right now, you don't. How old are you?

I'm 23.

Yeah, right now you don't, but down the line there's gonna be somebody who depends on you, is my guess. Do you want a family one day?

Yeah, someday I'd like a family.

Yeah, I think it's worth it for you to lock in now at a great rate. I mean, you're young, you're healthy. Lock into a 15 year or 20 year deal term and you'll pay like 12 bucks, it's 12 bucks a month. It's so cheap, it's maybe not that, but it's super duper cheap. And you can get 10 to 12 times your income. And you can name a beneficiary on there for now and then. As that changes, as you develop and have a family, you can change that.

Yeah, so right now I'm renting, but I'm just looking to kind of move into a condo instead of the apartment I'm in. So at the moment, my price range is about 250,000, because that's kind of what I think I can afford.

That's awesome, and I love that you're telling people that there's things you can buy for 250,000. How many bedrooms is it?

It's gonna be a one bedroom, it won't be overly glamorous. I mean, you're in New York, but that's all I'm in right now, yeah.

Okay, cool. Is there any debt? Tell us more about your financial picture? Do you have debt? Do you have other money saved?

So I have no debt, no debt at all. And currently I'm making about 70,000 and I've got with this 50,000, it would be almost 100,000 saved up.

Nice, and now that 100,000 that you have saved over here? We like people to have three to six months of basic expenses before they start saving an additional down payment. So would you say that is that 100,000 or is that other money that you have? Does that also make up your three to six months of expenses?

Yeah, I should have clarified that is on top of my emergency fund.

Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. Okay, so great. What do you have as your emergency fund?

I have about 15k right now as my emergency fund.

Okay, so what does that get you? three, four months?

It's like, three to four, yeah, okay, great, kind of right in the middle there.

Excellent, so you got 100,000 to put down on this property, so you're putting almost half down, which is really sweet.

Yeah, that was my goal. That's the only way I can get the monthly payment within that 25 of your take home range. So that was my goal to try to get to that 100,000..

Dude, you're rocking it. I have no complaints. I have nothing to say other than why did you take out whole life to begin with?

Well, so that's actually where I think Dr. John might be able to help, because this policy was taken out. For me when I was born, it was something a financial advisor told my parents to do. And they've been paying into it ever since then. But now that it's coming on to me to start paying it, it just doesn't make sense to me because of the rate of return is so poor. Yeah, I'm glad you see that.

Just go make fajitas man.