Making Good Financial Decisions Is Hard (but Worth It)

Welcome to the show.

and I've kind of heard before You know, Dave talked about not going to take money from family members. I kind of just want to hear y'all's perspective on it, the pros and the cons here.

we're gonna pay off a $5,000 car. Mm-hmm. It's your house. And so for now and in the next foreseeable five, ten years, You're gonna be having Christmases and family dinners and you're gonna want Cameron to go on a great trip. and they may be thinking Wow, Why is he going on a trip?

He needs to be paying us back. I mean like, you know, like it starts to, like it starts to play into the Relationship in a pretty deep way, where your parents end up being your bank. and again, all good intentions. like I hear that, cuz I think a lot of parents go into this and and And their heart in it is so good. Yeah, but the way it just plays out, Cameron, like it just ends up getting messier.

Yeah, I'm just thinking about.

We're gonna do this or that, and you kind of have the the freedom to choose what you're gonna do. But when your parents are the bank and if they get used to you paying on a certain schedule a certain amount, And then you and your wife decide there's another priority right now, We're not gonna do as much. like Rachel said, I just feel like there's this weird feeling of oh, they stopped paying 6,000 a month and now they're only paying 4,000.. I wonder what that's about. Like.

I just feel like there's so much There and then and I mean, I'm not saying anything negative, But there are the negative side of things that we have to think about, which is Something with your parents, situation changes and suddenly they need more money, or something with your situation changes and suddenly you don't have as much.

let me ask you one follow-up real quick, because you said in something about an investment property This isn't their house. Is it it's yours. No, it's not. This is my own personal house.

I'm sure you're investing 15% of your income, Mm-hmm, you know, obviously you already have a home. Are you savings for two kids, college, like that kind of thing? If you know, you're checking off all those boxes, then yeah, the applicable boxes, then yes, I would do that.

Just as a buffer, you know. savings fun to be able to pull from if you need, if you need that extra cash, Especially with renters. Yeah. Yeah, exactly, but I would put a big. I would put a big chunk of that Yeah towards towards the mortgage to get it paid off faster.

So thanks, camera. Thanks for the call, you know, Jade, I feel like the family Dynamic with loaning money. it is, and it's one thing. what's what's always kind of hard for me in this seat. I know there's families out there that are like this can work, They can work, and then there's, like the disaster families.

the disaster families are kind of easy to be, like my mom's saying I have to Yeah, you can paint a picture pretty quickly to be like, yeah, I probably wouldn't do that. Yeah, I wouldn't do that deal. and then there's some families where it's like, you know, the the parents are healthy. It's a good situation all of it, but still, even with that, Yeah, even with that, it just changes the relationship.

Yeah, and All of it. but we've seen it so often. so often go sideways and people even talk like with friends and everything, and I'm like it. just Just keep it all separate. It's like I don't want to.

I mean think about how.

And so if that changes, you're like, oh, I thought they said there was him for a house Like you. just you can't help it, and I just wouldn't want my own parents Doing that. Yeah, which honestly borrowing money in general, not even just for a house or a mortgage.

with something right like that, 100% can work. Yes, but then also on the other side. There's parents that enable children and It can be dysfunction to it. So it's never about the money, right? It's never about the money.

It's always about the person who's handling it and that specific situation. So always give Neverlands, this is the Ramsey show.

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again, our week-long cyber Monday sale is All week long, which is a beautiful thing. We love. a good sale. I go to gift. is that goal planner?

So we already read the books and we are working on the baby steps, but our income is irregular. She's starting a career as a real estate agent. I'm Stephen boy. I'm an entrepreneur. I have the business and We.

we have some money saved up. We just have debt in cars. We have two cars, in one wheel 15,000, the other one wheel 13,000. we didn't read of the $13,000 one. So we're just just gonna tackle the $15,000 one.

My question is, since our income is so regular, If it is smart to set aside instead of $1,000, just $5,000 and then throw the rest At the cars, and also I have to find a small $4,000 student loan. So that's the question. if it's smart to set aside instead of 1,000, $5,000 and then tackle with the rest of the money the debt, and If we have a good month, then we we throw extra on the debt. or what do you guys think about that?

now, if you're like No, We are really like. this thing is a crazy roller coaster and the months that we don't do Well, like nothing's happening, What I would do is there is something to be said. for having money that you are carrying over from month to month, I wouldn't view it as an emergency fund so much as this is just living expenses. Yeah, This is just roll over from a previous month that I keep there, almost like a cushion For my budget, and I think that's very normal for people who are on a regular income because there is such variance there. The third part of this.

I know I said there's two things, but there's three things, Rachel. the third part of this is If you are going through such low valleys to such high peaks, Or if you feel like there's a lot of low valleys, That might be an indicator that there needs to be another source of regular income coming in, at least until you can Make this a little bit more steady, more stable. Yep. Got it. Got it.

I mean, yeah, that's, that's common sense. I want to be able to have enough there. But if it is, then yes, Marcia, I would throw the rest. I would, I would go down to that thousand dollar emergency funds and then I would for you You you named off a couple of debts, but I would, Can, I would pay off that student loan, the four thousand? I'd get that out of the way first.

now, What did you say about the $13,000 car loan? You kind of glossed over that and said, but we're gonna pay on the 15,000.

I needed to move her. I didn't have $2,000 to pay for that car. So we bought that car and we are a little bit upside down in it. So we just gonna Sell it. I'm paid the difference.

Okay, that's it. So yeah, that's the plan for that car. Perfect. Well, that's great.

out of that. and then, a year later, that you guys are like, Hey, we got to clean this stuff up, because You know that is one that is one part of money that is so crucial, and you talk about this a lot, Jade, in your Quick read that you know money's not a math problem. Is that you know, so often we just try to fix the math. Yeah, we try to go after the interest rate or try to go after this, but realizing which again, Marcial, I feel like the light has come on for him and his wife, or he's like, oh, we're the problem. But yeah, so we're gonna have to do some things To change our behavior when it comes to money, because that's that's really the crucial part of winning.

But even with him saying, hey, should we put the $5,000 aside, as you know? Our emergency fund, even that you kind of really have to go in there and go Wait a second, if I pile all this money together, There's really no differential between what's an emergency and what's a month-to-month expense. Yeah, and before you know it, You're gonna be plowing through that quote-unquote savings. And so even just making sure that when you say, okay, I'm gonna follow this plan, that you follow it and you go. Okay.

This is my thousand dollar Emergency fund that goes over there and then, if I have to have an extra cushion in my budget, There's, you know, a thousand dollars or whatever that needs to be in my budget, and it is for month-to-month expenses. It's not to go to the mall like really making clarity around those categories in our mind and understanding that So much of it, like you said, is, is about how we're framing it in our mind. This money is for this, this money is for that, and I stick to my word period. Yes. So good.

next. We got Laurie in Nashville, Tennessee. Hey, Laurie, welcome to the show. Hi, how are you? We're doing great.

How can we help?

It's my only debt that I have. I have my car paid off and everything good for you. Um, I Was recently unemployed, but I just got a job. So I'm thinking more about how I can pay off that debt. I have money in index funds and ETFs.

I only have about 5,000 in there. So I'm just wondering if I should start paying down my student debt with that money or if I should leave some of that in there, Just as a little cushion, because I don't have much more savings than what's in there. Okay. So yeah, well, good for you.

So cash these out, take a thousand dollars, put it aside and then throw the remaining At the debt because you have any extra savings at all. Lori.

Yeah, that's great.

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Welcome back to the Ramsey show. I am Rachel Cruz hosting at this hour with my good friend and Ramsey personality. Jade Warsham, we're taking your calls. It's a free call anywhere in the country at triple, eight, eight, two, five, five at two, two, five. I'm next.

we have Kevin in Los Angeles. Hey, Kevin, welcome to the show.

So my dad, he's owner-operator, he drives a truck and a semi, a CBL, and so last week He was stepping out of this truck and took a long step, fell down the concrete, got hurt, real bad, Kind of try to tough it out. and instead of going to the hospital, He went home instead. and when he was home, he was dealing with pain, And so he took a painkiller, thinking that would help, And then decided to call the insurance company see if you can get some type of workman's comp or whatever. and They decided to do a urinalysis on my dad, which he would end up popping positive for painkillers. Oh, and and this was last week had no idea.

This was happening, but back to work, and on Sunday, I believe he was in an accident, wasn't his fault. Someone else ran in front of him and his semi, and They Towed away his truck. and as he's trying to figure out how to get back home to Dallas, where my parents live that happened Oklahoma he gets a call from the company He leases on, find out that he is no longer Allowed to drive because he felt his drug test and they fired him from the business. and so, in the night of a whole week, my dad lost his entire career and He's in debt. They have no emergency fund.

They're behind on the mortgage. They've been living on credit And my sisters and I do not know how to help our parents out. Wow. Oh, wow.

we're just trying to figure out like what do we do, you know? Like how do we keep our parents afloat? Yeah, through this whole process and I one thing I didn't realize, Which my sister told me earlier today is like they're even behind on their mortgage and no one had any idea.

we don't have a ton extra, but we do have a little bit. Yeah. So, like, you know, we want to help our parents. Sure. I'm, you know, yeah.

So I never want someone to get in a financial situation where their own family is suffering Because of parents or extended family, right? But if you guy I mean I, there's a part of me that would say, yes, I think, if you guys have the means to at least be able to help the mortgage side of it and let them not fall further behind. And again, it's not putting yourselves in a situation, a dangerous situation, financially, but if you guys are able to help float that, You know, I would totally be okay with that. But I do. in the long term, though, Kevin, this isn't gonna.

you're not gonna be able to fix your parents, right? There's right. long term. They're gonna have to be the ones that say we did this. Our habits are terrible when it comes to money.

Yeah, We have to handle our money completely differently to get different outcomes. all of that like no, There's nothing in your power and your sister's power to help save them long term. I'm thinking about the short term, like, yeah, with, like, you know, December 15th coming up, you know, Like, if like for them to be able to keep their house. What are things that you guys could do? it?

I would be comfortable, as a gift, not to loan but to say hey, Here's a set amount of money that you and your wife Kevin feel comfortable with. if your sister wants to have that same conversation with her family, and I would probably put a set amount of money and just say this is what we have and Pile it together and say this will help them, you know, for three months, Catch up to the mortgage, maybe even that, like, if there's anything in that vein, I would be very comfortable with you guys doing that, if you and your wife agree on that. But but as far as a long-term play, I mean, he's obviously gonna have to find a different job, Hopefully in the same industry. I mean, I guess it's on your record, I mean, I, I don't know how that much that kind of thing follows you. Yeah, like a rehabilitation process.

It's like how are they supposed to get through?

Yeah.

Oh, my gosh, Like I'm now, I'm switching roles and I'm having to take care of right and people find that physically having to take care of parents. Financially, emotion. I'm like all of this right? And so I do think that there's some boundaries there. and you know You want to be, you want to do this?

Well, But but yeah, as far as them. Yeah, like you said, they have no savings, They have nothing. so they have to have a reality check. It's gonna have to hit them, which I'm sure it has where they're like, wow, we're gonna do things We never thought we have to do and we're sorry. But what do you feel Jade about about him and his sister helping?

Catch up to the mortgage if they have the margin themselves. What do you think?

Being on board with that and going okay, we're, I mean, because we're talking about thousands of dollars. Yes. Yes, And knowing that this has got to be a gift. It can't, I mean we talked about this last segment. It's got to be a gift.

It can't be hey, borrow this money from us and when you get back on your feet, you'll give it back. if you guys agree to do this, it's got to be a gift because, Especially in the, in the situation that your parents are in, they don't want this money back. And so the spouse is being on board. I see two dynamics that have the ability to be kind of funky, But I think you can navigate this. a, the spouse, B, You've got siblings, and so there might be this feeling of like well, we're giving this.

What are you guys giving? and just That's that man. I'm a neck of. is it fair? who's giving more?

I feel like you guys could have done more, like. I Think you guys are really gonna have to put on your, and it sounds like you do like. it sounds like you're all adults here, but keeping on that, truly like big boy and big girl hat of, We're coming to the rescue here. Um, and then I think there's another part of this that's got to be really firm and especially in the siblings minds of. It's really easy to focus on this and go.

What happened to my parents is my dad fell out of the truck and then he, you know, Tell that whole story to yourself. but really what the story is? over the course of their entire lives, our parents have not handled their money well, and You've honestly got to focus on that being the story. Otherwise, the other story you feel the guilt of having Oh, we gotta care for that, I mean my dad just fell, and yeah. So really being able to reconcile that in your mind is gonna be really important going forward, because this is not gonna be a short-term.

But hold on the line. Kelly's gonna pick up and we're gonna gift that to them. I'm so sorry, Kevin. Thanks for calling.

That's a NetSuite comm slash Ramsey.

Well, it's, you know, it's that time of year.

Yes, this year, right, whether it's paying off debt or you've got real savings, goals that you're trying to hit, or whatever It is financially. that is very important to you as a priority. Sometimes Christmas can really throw you off of your goals And specifically when it comes to getting out of debt, it can really be just that thing. That's like, oh, it's a damper, right? Because it's like you want to participate in that traditional way where you're giving gifts and you're doing all the things.

but the reality is, if you want to stay on track and you want to hit your goals and you want to be Responsible, you can't always do all of that. And so what does that look like? Does it mean that Christmas is canceled and we're never gonna get? you know, it's like you can really go into that mopey side of it, but I Just over the years and for those of you listening who do know my story, you know, Like, when you're paying off debt, it's tough. And for those of you don't know the story, like when Sam and I were paying off, you know 400 and four hundred sixty thousand dollars debt.

You have to embrace, Rachel, a whole new set of values and truths when it comes to the holiday season if you want to get out of it unscathed, with your peace intact and with your money and your budget intact. and so, Like I said, I've been writing some budgets, about some articles about this, and I just want to share with you, Yes, and the folks listening, some of the truths that I've embraced and hey, poke holes in it, like if you're like Jade, that is So screwed or that is so like unrealistic. Hey, be my guest, but I'm just gonna tell you what worked for me. Um, the first thing on my list is, and this is just to set you guys free. So, if you want to be free, embrace it.

you do not have to buy a gift for someone Simply because they bought a gift for you. Oh Yes, I would agree with that. I used to be that person that would buy like I'd go to Target and buy, like a couple of inexpensive things, just to have them on hand.

you weren't even expecting, Yeah, It wasn't even a gift, like you said, that you bought for that person, because you saw it and you write, you know what? It's just this general idea. So, yes, and a lot of times it's kind of like. honestly, it's kind of junky.

draw names on both sides. Yes, because on my side of him it was I have three siblings, Then two nephews, then my mom and dad, then Sam's mom, his two sisters, there one, two, three, four, Five, seven kids like, oh, there's a lot. Yes. So my thing is like, okay, draw names, kids get him gifts. but for the adults, like in your family, you're Nuclear and partially extended family.

Yes, draw names. Yes, and can I tell you, everyone wants to do that, too? They want to. oh, no, really look, some people, you know, some people, Christmas is a sport for them and they're like Yeah, they want to buy gifts for everybody, and it's not that they're mad at you, But in some way they kind of feel like it's ruining Christmas for them for there not to be a zillion gifts from everybody.

Thank you. Cuz. for me, honestly, I'm just like I. It's the amount of time time, the F, everything, and I'm, like everyone's, already stretched then, especially you have kids and all of it. So we found it's great.

So we did. we do a dollar amount. Okay, say, here's the budget for it. Love it, that everyone feels good about. and then, you know, We stopped doing on Winston side, the family.

We stopped Telling like, send me what you want. Like, text me something. Yes, we stopped that. so then your creativity has to kick in. so the thoughtfulness is in that, because you have to think through like.

They haven't asked for this. Yes, I'm not clicking a link that they sent me. I am, I have to figure out something for them, and it's great. I love that.

They're grown. They have their own money, their own job. If they want a new blender, they can go buy it. They do not need you to go buy them slippers, like they can buy their own slippers, Rachel.

Y'all are adult. You don't need anything. and my sweet mother-in-law. She's like, here's your budget every year, So she. so we don't get guests from Winston's parents.

I don't think we get any from the Ramsey's this year.

And I'm like, well.

Just funny, There may have been a gift I want the person shall not be named Texted to my mom and she texted back. Yeah, I'm not sure we're gonna be buying gifts this year, but thank you.

A person will not be named. I am here for that. Look if you're trying to get out of debt now, especially yes.

All right again, this is for folks getting out of debt or have extreme goals that they're trying to hit. um, Here's the other thing that I've embraced. Okay, if you don't live by me, like in my city, Yeah, to where I can put the gift in your hand. I am NOT sending out a gift to you. You're off the list.

I'm like, I don't know. I'm like if you're in debt, I'm grown. Like I said, I can buy, I love it, my own Bed bath and beyond, you know, I'm saying so, okay. That's the next one, babies. Okay, do not need gifts.

What age is baby to you? Oh, three and up, Three and younger. I think, to choose the cutoff for being able to do that.

Yeah, I think like yeah, end of to like, getting up to two is like we're where you'd have to cut that off. Yes. All right, so babies don't need gifts. what I would do? I would focus on, like the children in your life that are ages 3 to 18.

Yeah, that's, that's where that's the guilt trip. You don't want to go on like you need to get those folks gifts. That's how we end it.

man, Jade.

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey solutions. It's the Ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create amazing relationships. I am Rachel Cruz hosting at this hour with my good friend and Ramsey at personality, Jade Warshaw, And we are here to answer your questions about life, money, relationships, career, anything and everything. So give us a call. It's a free call anywhere in the country at triple, eight, eight to five, five at two to five, up.

Next we have or up. first. I should say we have Kristen in Houston, Texas. Hey, Kristen. Welcome to the show.

We're due to pay off our credit card debt by the end of December. Maybe the beginning of January.

we were renters right now and Our rent was going up, and my husband I decided, okay, let's go ahead and move into an RV. Well, I already had one that was paid off. I've traded that in and we've purchased one. and so that's what we're doing right now. Is we?

we have a brand new RV and we pay space rent. So that's our housing. Then my truck, which was his truck, is paid off. My truck is paid off, But my truck ended up needing like fifteen thousand dollars of maintenance repairs in the last year and a half. Just turn right around, have another fifteen hundred dollar repair, and we said forget that we need an upgrade truck for the RV.

Anyway, and so we went ahead and made a purchase for a truck to pull the RV. How much is it?

We owe fifty six thousand six twenty three on it right now. fifty six thousand. Hold on.

I'm gonna just ask the assumption. It's on payments. Mm. Yeah. Yeah, the payment, the payment is 940 sixes and change and we had to.

yeah, it's nuts.

first. You said it was a great deal. Then you just now turn around and said it's nuts, and just for the record. Yeah, it is nuts. Y'all, just about to pay off all this credit card debt.

you had two paid-for trucks. I'm just.

We're at about twenty one hundred dollars. Okay, but I, his truck is a 2012, my truck used to was a 2011 and high mileage on both of them. We cannot pull the RV with.

So you just dug yourself into a deeper hole, thinking, you know It was the wisest, smartest thing to do at that point, but mathematically, financially, it just wasn't. it wasn't. and so for you guys, You guys have have stepped backwards a lot in this process. So I almost would say, like I would I want everything to be wiped clean. You guys had such a great track record with the credit cards like you were paying down down down.

No, no.

here's what I want to. here's what I want to make clear. Rachel and I are gonna look at this and we're gonna go. Hey, this is not the smartest choice. We want you to be free and we want to be out of debt.

Now here's the difference, because I I agree with you in the way that renting it doesn't feel good. It feels like we're throwing money down it, you know, down a black. No, I could care less about running.

Okay, which is about to be done at the end of the month and beginning at next month. Okay, maybe. okay, We have a thousand dollars in savings every month. Okay, and we have one month's reserves for bills, all of them. Okay, okay, How would you best?

advise to put that $3,000 to our debt. Yeah, how much are you guys making a year? Kristen? In a year, his growth for this year is gonna end up being year. to date.

It's 121.

Like I said earlier, I'd go rent somewhere. Free up this money, save up a good down payment for you guys to get a primary home for you and your husband After three to six months of expenses, I'd put that in a money market account. If you don't want to do that, Then the next move is you have to start paying off this RV, Which is $43,000, and then you need to pay off the truck before you ever think about real estates. This is the Ramsey show.

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You know, I think what's What can be so hard, as we can ourselves talk ourselves into something and into situations? Yeah, and be so clouded by maybe our own judgment, our own ways of thinking, That we keep digging ourselves Deeper into a hole. Mm-hmm, and you're thinking you're on the outside yelling down, and no, come out this way, Come out this way, and I feel like that's what we were trying to do with her. It's just to show and understand, and it's just the numbers. there's parts of this that you just go back to, just facts and $900 a month, car payment and In everything.

So yeah, I mean, look, I I.

You just you create. You're the exception, and if you want to take on that identity, then that's the identity you have and nothing, nothing. we say it's gonna be able to help you, and I always hate when that happens, Because I'm a firm believer, Rachel, of the idea that whatever you look for, you find it. So if you're always looking for the reasons that you can't do it, then you never will. Yeah, but the moment you just say, okay, I'm gonna open up my heart.

I am, so I'm just.

At the end of the day, it's like that's where you have like. that's the way you have to see it as okay. Like, I'm still trying to figure this out. I haven't figured it out yet, right? Right?

someone who has gotten a handle on it is telling me Hey, here's what I did, And if you're not gonna take advice from a person who's done it, Then you're always gonna be kind of like trying to fight your way out of a paper bag. Yep. Yep. Yeah, like you said, the light somebody's shining the light going. It's this way.

It's this way. Yes. Yes. Yep. Absolutely.

Hey guys, how are you doing? Great? How can we help?

uh, take home, pay Back to church, like to the lord, because it's his anyway. He's just giving it to us to manage. Um, so in doing that, I typically budget about 600 a month. um, in tithing, and after our expenses are paid for the month, we have about 150 extra to Put towards our debt repayment and we're pretty on fire to try to get rid of this debt. um so, My husband got a work truck that he we don't have to pay for anything of it.

He gets to drive it wherever he wants. That's awesome. Um, so we actually sold my nice car And I drive his old 2005 four-door truck. nice because it's paid for. yeah, um so, we are just trying to get after this.

and my question is do I can Continue to give the 10 percent. Um to church at this moment, or do I Cut it down to five percent or just pause it To take the extra 600 to get rid of, put towards our debt each month? Um, i'm just kind of at an impasse like. I kind of feel guilty doing that, but I don't know what else to do.

I look at giving. one is from More of a spiritual aspect, if you're someone of faith, and then people that are not. there's still a factor here. So so for me, giving In general, regardless of where you stand spiritually, It is a practice of character. for me, There is something about the continuation Of giving and living with an open hand as a practice that I want ingrained in me So deeply, regardless of where I am financially, because I am a big believer.

That as that becomes a habit and then you guys start winning, People think well, if I just had more money, I would give and it would be easier. And the truth is, heather, that's not necessarily the case. Sometimes, when you get more money, it's almost harder. Yeah, it's easier not to give the opposite way, which sounds so backwards. But it's just crazy how our minds work, and I always want money to be in a healthy position in my life And so to have it far out with an open hand.

Um, that, that's always my stance. and then, if you are a person of faith, which you said you are, you know I never want any part of my faith walk to be legalistic, legalistic stuff. just It, it, it grosses me. I hate it. I don't like it.

when people are like you have to do this and this and this, you have to do. read the bible, This often, like anything like that, rules. I'm like, nope. I, I, that's not my thing. Yeah, so you go the opposite direction.

Yeah, i'm not a legalistic person. So I don't want your giving from the spiritual lens To be out of legalism, because that defeats, I think, the whole purpose of it. I think there's so much in scripture about Being a cheerful giver and the why and the participation that we get to participate in something bigger of what god is doing. And i'm not a prosperity person either. I do not think that if you give, you will be given back Monetarily always, I think sometimes god blesses us, but I don't think it's a, a, b equals c thing there.

But what I do see, though, heather and I can say this with confidence People that give, and I would say even people with faith, if you put that layer on top of it, there is a a sense of of Joy, there's a sense of peace. There's something in there, because it is bigger than just the paycheck that's hitting your accounts, The gift that you're giving, the consistency of giving and giving back to the local church, which is the tithe. There is something there that i'm choosing to participate in, what god is already doing. And so for me, it's, it's, yes, the obedient factor, but there's also the, The joy, the contentment, learning to live with what you have. That principle is kind of forced in there, especially on a tight budget, like you guys are like.

there's just so many of these character benefits That come out of giving that I can't, and good conscious just say don't do it now. I understand it is tight, and some people choose heather, and I think you're a big girl and you get to Get off this phone call and you guys get to decide. some people choose to lower it. you know, they do certain percentages, but I I do stick to that 10, because I think, I think the challenge of it is healthy And I think the habit That it causes in us Is, It's just. I just see so many positives.

And yes, it may take longer to get out of debt mathematically, but I think it forces something in all of us. Uh, that I think we just need as humanity. Look I.

Well, Nothing's gonna happen, like nothing's gonna happen. It's not like they're gonna cut my lights off if I stop paying my tithe, right? And so. but I do think for us, like for sam and I, it was an opportunity to really test God. the way he says to he's like test me in this And see if i'm not gonna throw open the floodgates and pour out a blessing that you won't have room enough to receive.

And, like rachel said, you don't know that it's going to be money, But it will be a blessing, even if it's just the intentionality in your heart to keep going like. he's going to Hold up his end of this thing. and when you build his kingdom, He builds into you. and it's not like it's a quid pro quo, but it's something you get to participate in, and when you do that the scripture does say that he does overflow that blessing. so

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here we go. We got into debt when we were in our early 20s. We found the baby steps and haven't looked back. our home is almost paid off with no other debt. Kids have enough money in their college funds and we put 15 of our pay into retirement.

I've always been a stay-at-home mom. homeschool the kids and work full-time from home way to go. Here's the problem when we go on vacation, I want to stay in a nice hotel and a fancy room. I work very hard and am not happy. unless this happens.

My husband doesn't get it at all. He says we just sleep there. Why spend the extra money? Financially, the extra cost is in the budget. I don't spend any money on myself.

It's the one thing I want to splurge on. I want my husband to recognize my hard work and show his Appreciation by getting the nice room. who's right? if it's me, what can I say to make him really understand?

Yeah, a nice hotel or nicer hotel, All day, all day, look and.

Rachel, look, i'm just listen. jade and I have stayed in some really bad hotels in our in our days.

It's not worth it.

So that so, like him deciding all of it, I'm, like no, doesn't feel right. you get an exact say in it. and sure, I want him to appreciate you And your hard work, regardless of vacations and hotel rooms. That's really it. Um, that was kind of the weird.

I don't like that. It's like he gets to. He gets to decide this and all of it. I don't like that.

Yes, and In my opinion, the whole point of staying in a hotel is to be somewhere A little more luxurious than where you are, right, right, right. Don't get me wrong. Everybody's budget is different. Yes, Yes, I, I mean, once she said it's in the budget, i'm like give me the green light.

like, try to find a way to relate it. be like you don't want me to buy you a nine iron From walmart. So don't. yeah, Don't try to buy me a, you know, and just kind of relate it to something He understands and he sees the value in. maybe that'll help.

That's good. That's real good.

He exposes some of the most common money myths And excuses out there, like investing traps and mortgage myths and credit card schemes. all of that. So make sure to ramsaysolutions.com slash store and pre-order that book. It comes out in january and you get close to a hundred dollars of free items if you pre-order today. So make sure to check that out and also jade's quick read.

that is in the store as well. Money's not a math problem, that's in there, too. So check that out. ramsaysolutions.com Slash store. All right up.

next we have delaney in washington dc. Hi delaney. Welcome to the show.

Okay. Um, so, for some background, he's 30.. I'm 23, Um, we got married last year and we now have a two-month-old baby girl. Um, we live outside of dc. I'm actually in northern virginia, Um, and I was on maternity leave for a couple of months And then have now dropped my hours to part time.

And with our annual household income, we just can't afford rent anymore. where we currently are, Um, our lease is up at the beginning of january and they were going to increase our rent by quite a bit. Um, so we were kind of figuring out where we want to be. Um, my husband is in defense contracting and um, in a couple of weeks is going to be going completely remote, um. So we kind of have a lot of leeway in terms of where we want to be, With him probably still having to make occasional trips into his office in maryland, but, um, not very frequent.

Um, i'm from vermont, um, and have lived there up until last year when we got moved to northern virginia for my husband's work. My husband is from houston, um, and So we're we kind of found a place, um, a little bit further out Um, because we do really like the area. We're currently living in, um to get a little bit more house to rent, um for cheaper Um, but I mean now we're just like crunching the numbers with what my take-home pay is. Um, since i'm part-time and it's just it's kind of stressing me out. it's still too much, I think, Um, and so we're just trying to figure out where we want to move, and I don't feel like we have a lot of time To figure it out.

Um, because our move is currently scheduled for next weekend. Oh, wow.

Yeah, i'm not having family, and so I think that's another thing on my heart. for sure, go ahead.

Does he want to move back?

So.

So we're still. You know, it's just. it's budget's going to be tight if we move there. Um, and then houston is the other option. It's a lot cheaper.

Uh, no income tax, and we'd have his family close by. I've visited houston many times. Um, since we started dating, and I just every time i'm there. I just can't wait to leave.

you guys have to figure out what do we value? What do we want out of our life in the next season? Do we want to be close to family? um, I mean, how much of this is, You know, you guys having to transition into like a? it's a different life, right when you're married with a baby, It's, it's, it's a grown-up world now, and if you want to stay home,

I Know you work hard for your money and the key to keeping more of it in your pocket Is by making a plan for your spending with a budget, and every dollar is the budgeting app that I use personally, Because it's perfect for looking every dollar you make in its little president face and telling it exactly where you want it to go, Just like you told that guy in traffic exactly where you wanted him to go. and even better, Every dollar walks you through the entire budgeting journey. So you always know your next right step. Download every dollar for free in the app store or google play today.

books from myself and dr. John Deloney and ken colman and dave ramsay, uh, books in there that are, Yeah, as low, as you know, ten dollar sales, some twenty dollars. So make sure to check that out at ramsaysolutions.com slash store, as you are doing your christmas shopping All right up. next we have melissa in minneapolis. Hey, melissa, welcome to the show.

So, um, My husband's about to file bankruptcy And, to the best of my knowledge my name will not, I don't have to. this is related to a business, um line of credit that When he took it out with a former business partner, he signed a personal guarantee. I don't know that he was super aware of the implications to that at the time. um That happened, I think, back in like 2018, and then the business shut down with covid, with insurmountable Line of credit that at the point just was not able to pay back. We've been working for um since 2020 with a lawyer to reach a settlement and try, to you know, Do the best that we can to pay Some of this back, at least to the bank, and they've denied us every time.

how much is it to a point now at? 800,000?

And so at this point, do you feel confident?

We've offered different payment plans over, you know, six years or like. can we pay like 200 000 of this over the course of five? six years? They've entered and, in lack of better terms, they've actually. This has been, like I said, since 2020.

they, the attorneys, are quite young for the bank and they keep changing. So we've been ghosted for like nine, ten months at a time where we're like, oh, this might actually just There's a statute. Um, I guess that we were like, well, we might actually hit that and this might just disappear.

But then they came back next week and they were like, all right, this is, you have till december 8th.

The Lump sum of like kind of when the business shut down, if it looks like, I mean because of the total On the last statement I got was over nine hundred thousand.

I just feels wrong. But yeah, we also.

part of it is frustrating.

He's like Yeah, this really thinks he was like, but we have to just move on. like, if it's going to happen, It's going to be wiped out. He's like and we just move on. he's like we're almost on cash anyways. Yeah, that's what that was our goal.

That's where we want to go. So we're almost there. And then our the attorney said that you basically, Once we file it, stops the bank from being able to like Do anything to us about this 800 right garnish wages like the next day. you can just move on, you know, i'm, like. we just move on.

i'm like okay, but the, I guess the the kind of things that we're not super clear about are that we're being told by the attorney to do one thing and that I don't agree with is like our cars. we So we have some loans on our cars, but the way our income works, my husband kind of makes like large chunks of money at a time, so we'd be able to pay off like we have 11 000 on one of his cars that we were just about to pay off last month when this kind of came to light that it's like no, don't pay off your cars because there's, We can only keep like. there's like 5200 of equity that's protected in vehicles and then they can take the rest. They're like if your car's paid off. Yeah, You know, don't do that like.

okay, we're holding, you know, but i'm like we're really close like to paying that stuff off. or, and now we were told to turn the cars in and lease them and lease a different car instead, because then we don't Technically own it, but then i'm thinking in three years, then His car, i'm assuming, will be trashed and the lease is up And we'll sunk a bunch of money and that we couldn't save. and then what you know, i'm like, I I don't know what about.

Um, there's going to be something he said with this that Called like a reaffirmation of the loans, Basically after it's filed, because there is going to be something that happens with the house, Even though it's like we've never missed a payment. We're not behind at all. He's like it's just unfortunately, that.

Thank you so much for calling. This is the ramsay show.

Live Live from the headquarters of ramsay solutions. It's the ramsay show where we help people build wealth, do work. They love and create amazing relationships. I am, rachel cruz, hosting this hour with my good friend and ramsay personality, Jade warshaw, and we are taking your calls. It's a free call anywhere in the country at triple, eight, eight, two, five, five, two, two, five, Answering your questions on life, money, relationships, career, anything and everything.

So, first up, we have calvin in portland, oregon. Hey, calvin. Welcome to the show. Hey, how are you doing? We are doing great.

How can we help?

But when I got here, uh, they didn't hold up their end on a lot of things. They're doing some shady stuff, not following kosher regulations, And we're really kind of scurrying over the residents. Uh, by not taking care of the units that we're turning. Currently I have a Potential job offer with a pretty reputable company who's offering better benefits. Uh, a retirement fund, a better schedule, things like that, Okay.

And that was something they hadn't done to any other manager before. whenever I tried to talk to hr and things like that, Try to come to some kind of solution. It got pinned on to me And eventually my schedule started getting changed. they started threatening my job, and so I ended up putting in my two weeks.

was there any performance issue on it? or it was just like we don't like that. You're Doing well at a young age. Does that make sense? Am I missing something?

Previously, but other than that, I had good reviews from my residents. everyone else was saying I was doing a good job. Everything was kept up. Yeah.

That is a reality. There's also a reality too, and again, I would tell 22 year old rachel this that Rachel, you don't know as much as you think you might. you know that there could be problems within different circumstances. that are rachel problems. Rachel may think it's everyone else's problem, but it's really rachel problem.

and calvin, i'm not saying you're one or the other, But usually that's what we find, especially if you know, when you say You know you, there was a job you just left because of questionable leadership, which could be very legitimate. Uh, and then you come to a new job and find out again, Just like point a, there's crappy people and crappy businesses, even thinking. Oh, geez. I picked the wrong one. I need somewhere that's reputable and great and you're going to thrive and it's going to be awesome, right?

I I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt that that is your situation. But I would say also, calvin, just to have the humility always And I still at my age in this too, Um, that when issues do arise, there are times that it's us that were the issue, Not always everyone else. So just always keeping that in the back of your head, calvin, but if you really are working for a company That did not hold up their end of the bargain And did not do things they said they were going to do, and then even the way they run things you just don't morally Feel good about, that is a valid reason to switch. So if you have another opportunity, Even if the, even if the opportunity, didn't even have all these great benefits that you laid out. Yeah, That would still just be a reason to say I don't feel comfortable working, because if I can't trust them To not comply with certain regulations.

I can't trust them with me, right as as an employee, and how they're going to treat me.

That's, you know, just like the wrong option. But you know, I i'm with rachel 100.. I do think that I think you're young, going in as much as you can, Ask really clear questions, going in of and and really understand what the expectation is for your benefit. Anytime. it's like okay, when I get here, what is your expectation?

What does when you say? This is what we expect you to do. What do you mean by that? Like, get as much clarity as you can, so, you know That you're hitting your mark, right? And I think that's the best thing that you can do in this next situation.

Absolutely.

Hello. How can we help?

Yes, Um, and my question is those aren't necessarily the smallest.

We'll be right back with you.

uh? furniture from rent-a-center?

i'm out from under that one and that frees up 21.32 to roll into another thing with the debt snowball. Yeah, I.

How quickly can you save up what you need for tires? Baseline, you know what? I mean and just get yourself back on your feet in that way? And then you've also got this debt and collections, and so The way you listed it out, you know 47 or 47 000 in cars, 29 000 in credit. I want you to go through even further, with a fine-toothed comb, and really list each debt In order from smallest to largest, because that's going to give you not only a clearer picture of truly what's going on, But it's going to break it down in a way that you can, like you just said, Hey, this one is for you know, two thousand dollars I can, I can tackle that, and it's going to help you see it in its smallest form, So that you know, okay, like what is it going to take?

How many hours do I need to do? Okay, I can pay that one off and you're just going one by one, line by line.

You've got 40 000 just in your money that you can put towards this every year, plus 300 a week. side hustle, the side hustle and your wife getting a side hustle. when you look at it like that, You realize, kevin, that this can. you can knock this out fairly quickly 18 to 24 months.

take on the phone and, Like some of these, weekly payments aren't smallest. But if I attack the weekly payments first and got them paid off really quick, that has me paying like $2,500 a week towards the net, uh, uh, $2,500 a month towards the next. well.

I think you said one of the total debts was 200.. One of the total debts was 300, right?

Like, how do we feel like we have no money? And we have to go to rent a center for our furniture, when we make a hundred thousand dollars a year combined? like this shouldn't, Shouldn't be like that. This is not how it should be. And so, as you guys start this process, kevin, I would really encourage you to lean in when you start to feel these wins, Because I would bet you, kevin, that you make, you guys may look up at the 24 000 suv and be like man.

could we sell it for 26 000, get 2k and get a crappy car for a little bit and knock this out even sooner, because there's A taste of freedom, kevin, that you guys Have never had, i've never experienced, and for you and your wife doing this process together, It is huge. It's huge. So I want you to stay on the line because we want to give you financial peace university for you and your wife to go through together. And you guys, it's our seven, It's our nine lesson course, and you guys walk through that and every dollar premium, and this is our budgeting app That connects to your bank and it's really going to help you guys list out Very specifically. Hey, here's our paycheck.

Where is it all going? This is going to give you a roadmap to get this stuff paid off. And I think, yeah, with the side hustle and everything. kevin, This is it. I mean, yeah, your question was what's the best use of our science?

I bet yeah, our side hustle money And it's just yep, throw out that smallest debt amount and as you guys start to really make this traction in this progress, You're gonna feel it and it's gonna be. it's gonna be amazing, and we're here for you. So keep keep watching the show and listening for that encouragement, because the way you're gonna view money is totally different Than how you've lived and it's gonna feel uncomfortable at times. It's not gonna always be fun During the season of sacrifice, but the more you guys sacrifice and really buckle down.

You're doing well, And it does feel weird when you're like, wait a minute. I'm buying my furniture at rent-a-center, Like I can't buy tires. I can't buy tires. Yeah, and you know, I told you during the break. I, I, I knew this couple.

they were older than us, But when I was in college, I went to their house and I remember them saying like our furniture is from rent-a-center And they had two giant suvs that were brand new and I remember thinking wow, they've made it, But they, their situation was probably very similar to what we just heard, And i've said this before and i'll say it again when you start to make these changes, It will show. So if you try to do this In a vacuum or in the quiet, like you have to just accept Hey, if I really want to do this and I want to do it faster. I might drive a different car. Yeah, like people might see me going from driving a 2023 infinity down to. you know, a 2015 camry, and they may ask me questions about that, and that is okay.

Number one is none of their business, unless you want it to be their business. But if they ask you, there's no shame in saying, you know what we were out of control And we're getting our life back. Yep, like, let's normalize that as the status symbol of amen, I'm getting my life back and I am being a responsible Adult, and when you give back that bed to rent a center and give back, you know The tires to rent a center, that is you being a responsible adult.

Hey folks, there's a lot of half-baked investing advice out there, But here's what you can do to get more confident about this stuff. Check out the smartvestor program. Smartvestor connects you with local financial advisors who have the heart of a teacher. They'll help you level up your knowledge and build a retirement plan based on your goals, Not theirs. go to ramsaysolutions.com Smartvestor, to get connected and get more confident about your plan.

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And how much debt did you guys pay off? We paid off?

So that was kind of the key. we, that was how we paid off. We sold the rental property, which was a big part of paying off our primary residence. Wow.

Was that a hard decision to make, because a lot of people? That call this show. They love a rental property.

Yeah, definitely. So what?

i've always had an interest in it. Um, But I think my dad was getting tired of me asking him questions about finances. He purchased the um Financial peace university cd bundle and had it shipped to my house. I went listened to that about two times over on my way to work every day, And I just I just bought in dove in headfirst. So great.

And how long have you guys been married?

You can tell connor. connor knows what he wants. Oh, yeah, Uh, so, what were you thinking when you? When he brought this up, I guess i'm assuming when y'all were dating, even this was a conversation.

I Don't ask me my advice. So I was, I was, I was ready to do it. Yeah, it was. it wasn't as hard to Switch using like just my debit card to just using like straight cash. It wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be, because it made me actually, you know, like not spend all my money Made me, you know, Budget.

Yeah, so you went like full cash mode, like full cash envelopes. I love it. I love it. Connor is.

I feel like there's different stages of life, like when you graduate college, After you get married. there's certain points in life that it just feels like everyone around you is living at a certain Right like lifestyle degree of what they're doing. So what was hard about that? Did you feel like that was kind of around you and you had to push back? or were you?

Were you so focused that you didn't feel like there was a lot of temptation?

so I would say, all in all The the the friend group part was the hardest part of it. Yes, for sure, on the social side. Absolutely.

They're, they've done it. What would you say to someone that thinks that they have to do to make this progress, this process work?

I think it's very popular in the military for people to try to acquire A home at every duty station and people end up with four or five houses in four or five different cities. And that's where we were for a second and I was like that's, that's not gonna work. That's not the best way to do this. And once I saw that we could pay off our primary residence by selling the rental property. It was, hands down, easy decision.

can I ask about that? because That I could imagine the the influence of that. like there's all these people around you. They're doing this thing. Was it as simple as going?

Hey, you guys are doing this. It doesn't seem to be working well for you. Like, how were you able to reconcile that? because it is hard To look at what everybody seems to be doing, especially if it looks like it's working, and do the exact opposite. Talk more about that.

So For for me, it was a little bit easier because both of both the houses were on 15-year fixed mortgages. Um, so, Where a lot of people have it financed on a 30-year mortgage, and they're like, oh well, I'm making 200 a month rent to to their mortgage. and and we were never making a profit off of the rents because we were. We had a higher mortgage at a 15 year. and so that also are.

you know, We were at a point where I was like, well, we're really one bad brew for hx system away from A bad time. So that's when I was like. this long distance landlord is not not for us. We're not gonna do that. Yeah, started turning on your brain and thinking about like what this really really means for your situation.

I love that so good.

Amazing, and i'll just say the one thing on that is Is a lot of people, if they saw our story Just from afar. They might think oh, you know, that's, that's an easy way to pay off debt. But I want people to know that we got extremely lucky with the covet 19 market on how much our house in el paso appreciated. Yes, um, so that was a huge part of and and, like I said, that was luck. That was not the norm as far as as buying and selling real estate goes.

So absolutely, we got lucky in that regard. I don't want to think people to think that anyone should just buy and sell a house like right. Yeah, that's a very good point.

And so I see you have some cheerleaders next to you here on your left, who's with you today?

Wow, in 36 months, making 74 308 000 count it down. Let's hear your big debt-free scream. three, two, one. We're debt-free.

Amazing, oh,

Yeah, Wow, and there's a and there's a road to be walked down. that but, man, What an incredible. what an incredible life that they're about to dive into, financially and in so many ways, Absolutely amazing. Congratulations, connor and julian. This is the ramsay show.

Our scripture today comes from first corinthian 16, 13 through 14. Be on your guard, stand firm in the faith, be courageous, be strong, do everything in love. Dorothy bernard said courage is fear. that has said its prayers.

Courage is fear. That has said its prayers. There you go. I'm gonna marinate on that. That's a good quote.

Yes. Yes. All right up. next we have Colin in fort worth texas. Hey colin.

Welcome to the show.

I don't have any payments until about three weeks from now.

I was making a crap load of money for my age. My sister always told me to listen to y'all. She told me to give y'all a call to help me figure it out. That's where most of my debt's coming from is from cars. Um, just wasn't spending the money wisely.

How much were you making? I was making from 1800 to 2500 a week. Okay.