No One Gets Peace From Disorganized Chaos

So congratulations, Ken.

Dexter is in Philadelphia. Hi, Dexter. How are you?

And we're dealing with a situation where she is trying to basically get visitation for her daughter, and she has been under a lot of financial stress. And apparently, I've been trying to do a lot to help with the circumstances. A lot of lawyer fees.

The gentleman she had been married to is a very hostile. I believe he is sort of has a condition or something. I guess it's more of a controlling control person. And so I'm trying to do a lot of things to help in financing. I just bought a home myself, and I have paid pretty much for the home, and I'm renovating, and it's taken a lot of my finances out.

I have four months to try to get moved in, but I have a lot of financials to re-renovate the place. So I'm kind of doing it on my own.

So, due to conditions, the girl I'm dating is actually trying to get visitation to her daughter, and he won't allow her to see her daughter. And she had the cops come out to try and have visitation, and he won't allow her to see her daughter. And he's controlling the daughter by buying gifts and doing a lot of things to control the relationship of that situation.

Yes. No doubt. Okay. How can we help?

She's stating that don't get involved or try not to. And so I'm helping out. She's also helping me renovate the place, so then I try to help her with other things and do things to whatever I can do, she'll allow me to help with.

And she's in a situation where all her finances are into a lawyer who is fighting so she can just get visitation. And she's basically in debt with her family because her family is giving her money to help out with the situation.

You can be angry with her. You can participate emotionally and relationally in her fight and so forth, but do not transfer money. You're going to change the tone of your relationship if you do, and you're going to regret it later. Do not pay her bills when you are not married to her under any circumstances, period. I've been doing this a long time.

100% of the time. people do this, they wish they didn't. For one reason or another, it always bites you later in the butt. Don't do that. Okay?

You're supporting somebody you care about and they're going through a hard time. Do it. That's what good people do. You're a good man. As far as your house goes, you just bought a house you got to renovate.

If you didn't have the money to do the renovation, you shouldn't have bought a house that needed renovation. You need to step in there and get that sucker done and get moved into it. Again, that's got nothing to do with her finances. It's as if you told me two different stories. You have the story of the house, which is completely independent of the story of her, except the part where she's helping you sweep and do some of the renovation or whatever.

Maybe she's swinging a hammer and hanging drywall. I don't know what she's doing. That part, there's a little bit of overlap, but the rest of these are two separate stories and they need to remain two separate stories.

You're starting to want to treat this like a marriage situation before it is. I'm telling you, when it's a marriage situation, you're all in, buddy. You signed up for the trip. You take the trip. Until then, you're just a supportive boyfriend.

It's my mess. I can hear the but coming. I think you need to wait. This thing needs to resolve itself before you guys get married. That's just my opinion.

Don't think all of a sudden that what Dave said is, well, the asterisk is, if I marry her now, now I can jump into this. I think you've got financial troubles. You're not clear, as you need to be financially with some margins. You're just going to have to wait this thing out.

John Deloney, where he's sitting here, we'll just channel our own inner. Dr. Deloney. I like channeling any inner doctor stuff because I don't have a doctor. There you go.

I have a doctor, but I am not a doctor.

I'm not sure which one I'd rather have. This is The Ramsey Show.

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Ken Coleman, Ramsey.

And you get an assessment code built into it. Almost 100,000 folks have bought the assessment and taken it online at RamseySolutions.com. Now you get the book that tells you how to read and go through the results and how to apply the results. That's a great gift for a graduate. Breaking Free From Broke by George Camel, speaking the language of that generation, of you, generations that just graduated, whether it be high school or college.

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That means over 10 million people have gotten a Total Money Makeover. It's been a graduate gift for a long, long time. You can get these graduate gifts at RamseySolutions.com in the store, and it's probably the best thing you could do. It would be better than giving them some lame-o graduate gift. Although some kids might think a book is a lame-o graduate gift, but it's not.

This is a book with life-changing material in it, all three of these, so be sure and check them out. Jeff's in Madison, Wisconsin. Hi, Jeff. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

We live out in the middle of nowhere.

Easy. Right, so I'm trying to put a value on the business. So the value of the business is the net profit after every piece of labor has been paid, and you haven't paid yourself labor out of that $120,000.. So if I hired someone to do what you do for your business, I might have to pay them $60,000, right? Yep, about that, yep.

Okay, which means we might make $50,000 or $60,000 net profit on your business. Does that sound about right?

That's 25%. You follow me?

Everything's over.

What do you think?

You now have control of your most powerful wealth building tool, which is your income, and you use that to invest for your future, to invest for retirement and a kid's college, and start talking about paying off that piece of land that you were beginning to tell me about, and that's the direction that you go. So good question.

Are you working out about a three to five times net profit? Is that what you were working on?

Now, that tells me what the business is truly netting. It's net, net, net. And then that tells me what my return on investment, my cash on cash return, is. And that's a good general rule of thumb. Dave, nobody gets 25% on their money.

In small business, you do every day, honey. But you work your butt off, and there's a lot of risk involved that you don't have buying a mutual fund. Okay, it's a completely different setup than a mutual fund. So, yeah, I make 25% on my money all the time at Ramsey. If I don't, I'm probably not going to stay in business.

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Leave those nice five-star reviews. They're very helpful. Zach is in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Hi, Zach. How are you?

Well, it's, you know, the principle that we use is, if your car broke down, okay, and you don't have the money to fix it because you would have paid everything down to $1,000, and you need $2,000 or $4,000 to fix a car or replace a car, you would have to push pause because you're in the middle of an emergency. Okay?

Emotionally, after the scare with a one-and-a-half-year-old, your brain is in an emergency. Right. And I can understand that. Okay? If that had been my little kid, that would have done it.

But you and I both know that. statistically, you've lived there 31 years and haven't been hit by a tornado. They're all around you. You can see them out there dancing in Oklahoma. I know.

I understand. And they put on quite a show sometimes. And sometimes they hurt people and tear up jack. I'm not questioning that. Okay?

But statistically, tornadoes are way different than hurricanes, because it's one finger on the ground versus the entire city gets wiped out. Okay? And I'm just talking about the actual data, not the emotion and the fear around it. Okay? Right.

And so, statistically, you're probably okay to get out of debt and then do this. But I don't know if, psychologically, you're going to be. So. in order to stop your baby step two, you have to declare this an emergency.

And here's the thing. What we're talking about here is we're not talking about whether or not to do a storm shelter. What we're talking about is if you're paying off debt at the rate of $2,000 a month, you're done in seven months and in two more months, nine months from today, you're 100% debt free and you have a storm shelter. Okay? Yeah.

Or you do the storm shelter first and nine months from today, you're 100% debt free and you have a storm shelter. So the only thing we're discussing is whether we put it on the front or the back of the debt snowball.

And I've got a bad track record on this, so I really am uncomfortable telling you to do something. I'm going to say, you know, if I'm in your shoes, the principle is, in order to put it in front of getting out of debt, you have to declare this an emergency. And after getting the crud scared out of you with a one-and-a-half-year-old, I'm not going to be mad at you if you declare an emergency. That's right. But I'm going to put with that the actual statistical discussion.

But I'm the guy who, what, 2020 March, remember that? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm on the air. They canceled schools in our county tomorrow, the next day, because a storm might be coming, that might have tornadoes in it.

And they canceled school. And it's not. the sun is shining outside. And they canceled schools the next day. I'm the guy that went on the radio and made fun of that.

And the next day, a tornado tore the hell out of Nashville. I mean, hurt people and everything. And so, like, people, are ripping me to shreds on the Internet going, well, that didn't age. well, Dave. I'm like, no, it didn't.

So I don't make fun of tornadoes anymore. after that. That was my last time. And, you know, we had people in the workforce. We had three people in the workforce.

Our house got blown down. And, I mean, it was a bad tornado came through here. And that was right, as the pandemic was opening up. So it was a great March. You know, March of 20 was just an amazing month.

Yeah, so it didn't age well. But I still, you know, I still love the generation that go, you canceled school because it might snow. You are a bunch of wusses. You are totally wussed out. And so I just, I don't get it.

But I do get it. I get the guy. I would be scared to. If my wife and one and a half year old had run five miles away to get away from it, I would be scared to. I get that.

Absolutely. That actually happened. That was not a might happen tomorrow thing. And then I stepped in it up to my knees. But there you go.

So, oh, well.

Oh, because it's so flat. You can just sit and watch it and go, oh, crap. It is actually coming here. You know, I mean, but here you just.

You know, it doesn't take a degree in statistics to realize this one stinks. 93% of undergraduate private student loans are co-signed. So, when you're delinquent and drowning, Mom or Papa or Uncle Joe is stuck in that financial stress along with you. But there is a way out. Why refi?

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Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

If you're not, you should be. Yes, I'm maxing out. Okay. Excellent job.

That's called lifestyle spending. We can invest it, which is what you're asking about. And we can be generous with it. You should always do all three. And so, to the extent your monthly budget, before it, nets out $2,800, does not do those things, I'm going to increase one of those categories a little bit.

So if you're not having enough fun, are you married?

So seriously, try to challenge yourself on your generosity bone and on your fun bone, and build up those muscles, those two muscles, because you're investing muscles really strong already.

How old are you? 35. Way to go. You've done really good, man. I mean, you just really have done a great job.

So I just challenge folks to make sure we have, in the actual mathematics, some balance between fun and generosity. So I have that formula. So last week, I got a check from one of my publishers on one of my books. Okay. I get a big check from them every so often.

These books keep selling. Thank you, Lord. And so, thank you, people, that you're buying them. Yeah. So I got a big royalty check.

That check is already spent in those three buckets.

Additional giving, additional fun, and additional investing by percentage. I just apply those percentages to that check. Already gone. And so then, when I go do something fun with the fun bucket, I have zero guilt. Zero question if I'm wise.

Zero question if I've lost my Christian spirituality. Although some moron on TikTok will have their opinion about that. But just the same. Of course they will. But you see, my point is, I'm not taking a poll on that anyway.

But the point is, I know that I've been wise and that I've touched these three main areas of life. And Sharon and I are going on a really great trip here in a couple of weeks. We spent a lot of money on it. But it's a very small percentage of our world overall. And it came out of the fun bucket.

Shut up. I mean, that's what we're doing. So we're 63.. We're going to have some fun. So there you go.

That's why we work. And simultaneously, there are some ministries that got some really nice checks because we got a big check in. And that generosity piece goes out, right? So it just keeps things flowing if you've got some kind of a way to already allocate the money.

when you have worked hard for your money, you've been disciplined, and now you give it to help somebody else.

That's pushing this from no man's land. So you want a zero, indeterminable, as they call it, credit score. And that comes from having no accounts open and no activity on no accounts open at all of any kind for six months. Then you'll qualify for a loan with a good company, like a Churchill Mortgage that we endorse, with a zero credit score. That's what George Camel and his wife did.

They bought a home, same interest rate that some goober with an 800 credit score would get, exact same interest rate. But you've got to have a zero. I mean, you can't be in the middle. So you want to close them as fast as possible and be done with them forever and ever, which is your plan. The only reason you hadn't is you were worried about the house deal.

And this thing, this is the mythology, Ken. This guy's not falling for it, but overall, people out there that believe the mythology about debt. And what you guys have got to stop and think about is that debt is, we live today, at this moment, this moment, today, in 2024, in the United States of America, we live in the most marketed to human race any time in history. More dollars and more sophistication are spent selling you stuff right now than at any time in history. And in the United States, we are the best at selling you stuff.

You are impacted by marketing, sales, advertising. Every time you take a breath.

And the most marketed product in frequency and in dollars spent is debt.

It's a product. That's how those banks have towers and you have a little bitty house. Their house is bigger than your house because you've been giving them money, yours.

It's the most marketed product in the history of the world at this moment. So you guys are told so many lies about debt. You can't get a house without a credit score. All that debit card, it's not got the same fraud protections as a credit card. Yes, it does.

The exact same. Look at their website. Stupid.

Wow. See, people believe these lies left and right. I'm going to get rich on airline miles, Dave. You believe these stupid mythology lies. This is the Ramsey Show.

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show. We help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual, amazing relationships. Ken Coleman, Ramsey, Personality, number one, best-selling author, and my co-host today. We're glad to have you. Open phones at 888-825-5225..

Felix is in Bangor, Maine. Hi, Felix. How are you?

And in exchange, I get to live here practically rent-free. So, I have absolutely no free time, and when I'm out of work, I'm into chores. It's not sustainable. It's taking a toll on my mental health, and I'm just trying to get better.

I currently have a tiny home that I am building on the land out back. I purchased the building and refurbished it so far to the point where I can start building.

My family are all in the trades and have agreed to help me with some knowledge on building that home to make it better. However, I'm still stuck on the idea of whether or not it's a good idea to have this tiny home and move it onto some land or...

Yes. You're building it on a trailer or something so that you can move it and set it somewhere? Yes, sir. Okay. All right.

Out back, and then I'm buying land. I wanted to make sure I understood what was going on. Okay. All right. Cool.

Yes. All right. So, what do you do for a living?

Your question is whether to finish the tiny home and buy some land and plop it on that, or buy a house?

Mm-hmm.

The tiny house, the problem with the tiny house movement is that it's tiny. There's not a lot of people doing this, okay? There's a lot of discussion. There's a few loudmouths on the Internet.

But 98, 99% of the public are not interested in a tiny house. When you get ready to sell it. Consequently, basic supply-demand economics tells us that where there is very little demand, there is very little price increase. So the tiny house is not going to appreciate dollar for dollar as much as a traditional property will. Now, the dirt that's under it might, and it might fool you into thinking that the tiny house idea was a good idea, but the tiny house in and of itself, there's not a lot of demand, and so there's not going to be a lot of appreciation.

The only thing it does do is it provides shelter.

Very little, but a shelter.

And if I were you, I would just be content and just rent something and start your life off with your fiance and work your tail end off. You're not afraid of work. You're a good thinker. You're thinking about ideas all the time. That's good.

The only thing I would add to your equation to make you prosperous is patience.

I think you're going to be better off.

Man, if you want to go, do that again, that'd be okay with me. That sounds like a good side hustle, building tiny houses and selling them to people if you want to. But in terms of, is a tiny house an equivalent investment to buying a home? Not even close. Not even close, because the demand for them is very low in reality.

There's a lot of discussion and a lot of hot air around it, but that's a lot different than putting it on the market with a little for sale sign and having six people run up to buy it.

. We need some space from each other, and there's no space in those things.

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Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Our question of the day comes from Adam in Wisconsin.

Should my son quit his current job, where he makes close to $45,000 a year to join this adventure for the potential of a six-figure income and future opportunities from what he will learn? He currently lives with us and he has no bills except for covering his car insurance. Well, Adam, I'm going to tell you what I would tell my son. If my son came home and asked me if he should do this, I'd say absolutely not. I don't understand why this mentor, who is supposedly very successful and excited about teaching a young man, is going to ask him to come on for free.

Something doesn't add up. Smells like a scam. Smells like a scam. Free labor. And I think this is silly.

And so I would call the guy's bluff. And I think you're probably going to find out that it is just in fact that. It's a bluff. And I would tell him, no, you're not doing that.

I could not ask them to work for free. I agree. That would turn my stomach up into my throat.

Now, if you want to offer him a job, making what he's making now, which is not much, $45,000, while you start up, and you'll mentor him and teach him stuff, fine.

So I think you not only don't take the job, you disengage from the, in air quotes, mentor. Yeah. Because I'm not sure he's a real one.

That's not the idea.

It would be kind of the other way. As an act of honor, I would want to overpay someone I was mentoring, not underpay them.

And he is quite successful. But he just wants to teach those young people a lesson. I don't know. I don't know what the deal is there. But, nah.

I'm with you. The way we answer questions on this show is, if this was my son, what would I tell him? Run. Yeah. From the opportunity and the man.

That's what I would tell him.

That's what I am.

I put money in my TSP, my retirement, every month, too. But that leftover money, I don't know what to do with it. Inevitably, what I do is just spend it.

Yes, sir. Yeah. So, it's a very simple fix. Start doing a detailed budget using the EveryDollar app. I will give you the EveryDollar app premium version for free.

that ties into your bank. So, every time you spend on your debit card, you have to drag it into a category in your budget. Now, the trick here is this.

John Maxwell, Ken and I have a good friend, says that a budget is people telling their money what to do instead of wondering where it went. That sounds just like you.

EveryDollar has a name on it, however, you want to call this. But EveryDollar is allocated on. the app, has an assignment before it comes in. And if the assignment is, blow this $50, then blow the $50.. If the assignment is put more money in an investment, then put more money in an investment.

If the assignment is, find someone and do a random act of charity and give somebody $50 at a gas pump or leave a $50 tip at the Waffle House, then do that. Okay? But write it down ahead of time, and, whatever you're doing, do it on purpose. And then, if you actually follow the plan that you made for yourself, then you will not feel regret. Does that make sense?

You've got it laid out. But I just want you to add a level of project management, a level of detail to your planning of your money. And when you do that, you're going to get a sense of relief. You're going to feel like you've got a raise. And you're going to be able to achieve some goals with that money.

Because I really don't care what people do with money, as long as they do it on purpose. As soon as they start doing it on purpose, then they come back and ask me, Okay, what do I do next? And that's where we came up with the baby steps. Yeah.

You'll start to be going, I'm a money stud. I got this going, man. Right.

I got this. Because all this is, is you feel out of control. You feel chaotic. You feel like a failure. Yeah.

And when you start putting it down on paper and then you live to the paper. Start putting it in the app and you live to the app. Ding, ding. You know, successful. It's called self-discipline.

And it's amazing what that does to people's dignity, self-confidence, power, everything. Their swagger comes. Everything. You're just going to feel a whole lot better about Tim. Tim.

So have at it. Kalen is in Sacramento. Kalen, I'm going to hold you until after the break. Because I'm looking at this number here and I don't want to have to.

where he can go, okay, at least I have a plan for it. It feels like he doesn't have a plan right now, which the budget addresses. And therefore, he's just kind of like, ugh. The inefficiency, I think, has eaten away at him.

No one. Oh, that's fine. No, it's not. You know, you wake up feeling like you've got a financial hangover. You look over and you go, oh, God, I did it again.

I don't care. You don't have to be a nerd or a tightwad to have that experience. No one gets peace from disorganized chaos. This is the Ramsey Show.

Ken Coleman, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Thank you for joining us. Open phones at 888-825-5225.. Christian's in Lexington, Kentucky. Hi, Christian.

How are you?

. Yes. Why?

What's going on?

Okay. Yeah.

First you said you lost your job.

One was a mechanical problem, but it still went over two points, and the other one was a collision.

So I'm trying to figure out, was your confidence rattled?

It was a freak accident, honestly.

and be home every night.

You do know that, right?

I operated for one of those at that company.

and that's where I would like to get to. Okay.

You could get into construction. Let me tell you this. There's also manufacturing jobs right now all across this country where you could potentially be working with customers and doing something for them, because you didn't say it was about the car so much as about doing something, making it look something good and hand it off to somebody, and they get excited about it. You've got to start channeling that and realize what your opportunity is. Here's what I like about you.

You want to work for yourself one day. That's great, and I think the trades are where you need to be looking, because there's a greater market for you in and around Lexington, Kentucky than this detailing business.

So we're trying to help you with that, and, dude, you need to go get something else and make some more money. On a temporary basis while you get some business idea up and running. If it's not this one, it's another one. But I can tell you this. Anytime you're doing something with your hands, like car detailing or building decks, or working in the trades, if you show up on time, do what you said you were going to do.

every single time, you can charge almost anything you want and there really is no competition, because most people can't even seem to get there.

But what we made went into two vehicles that we can still afford but don't want to.

It's because if you've got the equipment, you either need to get that equipment and haul your butt over to Lexington and get some cars washed and get your income going, or you need to go take a job. driving CDL inside. Your family is depending on you. You've got about 20 minutes. Ready, set, go.

Now. Now. Now. Your analysis of going from 80 to 24 and I'm going in the pressure washing business, the car detailing business, but I really can't do much because I live out in the country, is bull crap. It's killing you.

It's killing you. You need a new set of eyes on this and you need to get in gear and make some money for the next year and a half to two years and get the wolf away from the door, get these stupid cars sold, and then you can start making some adjustments long term in your career. And you either go one of the directions Ken said, or you can go beat the competition in Louisville and say, well, I don't drive over the road 80 hours, but I do drive to, I mean, Lexington. I do drive to Lexington. Or we load up our butts and we move to Lexington where the business can prosper.

This is the Ramsey show.

Hey guys, are you ready for the secret to help you reach those money goals that you've been dreaming about? It's simple. You got to get on a budget with our budgeting app. Every dollar. you'll get intentional with your money and build the habits that will make those dreams a reality.

And we'll be with you every step of the way from your first budget to that retirement home on the beach. Download every dollar for free on the app store or Google play. Remember today, download every dollar for free on the app store or Google play today.

Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality is my cohost today. Thanks for hanging out with us, America. Well, I don't know when you're going to be listening, but today is Tuesday, the 21st of May. For those of you listening live. tonight, George camel and I will be doing the first installment of two nights in a row of Dave Ramsey's investing essentials.

I'm going to get nerdy and go deep down into the nerd ville of investing stuff. I've never taught before, but people have been asking me how to analyze real estate properly. And I'm going to teach you the academic version of it. And what I actually personally do on real estate and, and what I do on mutual funds and what I do on other things. And what are the principles I use and what are the principles for investing that I find with wealthy people versus, you know, your broke brother-in-law, who lives in his mother's basement and has a tick tock account, which everybody has seems to have an idea about finances that are broke.

So we really don't take financial advice from broke people. So we're going to go through this tonight and tomorrow night. It is not, it is not two separates. It is a back to back. And so you want to be there for both nights.

If you're hearing this in time, you can get the tickets for $199.

. Gosh, Ken, I can't believe. it's thousands of people. Yeah, I can't. like 4,000 people have signed up.

It's crazy.

com slash events. They may regret it, though. They may be sleepy by the time I finished my nerd explanation. This is the kind of stuff that I dread somebody doing in a live audience. Cause they nod off right in front of you.

And Dave Ramsey said this, and you've already turned my name into a cuss word in your house.

Didn't you?